Dog Days Lockie Leonard

Yep, OK,

so I'm on the run.

I got myself into a spot of bother.

Gotcha!

Hey, Vicki.

Can you get me out?

And you want to know my big crime? Sorry, Lockie. You know, since

you've been hanging out with Dot, you've been acting like a real dog.

Dog?

'Usually, everyone loves dogs - loyal, friendly, good at frisbee,

'but when a dog's in love...'

-One track mind...

-And there's only one place bad dogs end up...

They end up in the doghouse.

The question was: would anyone bail me out?

We're not coming to get you out.

Mum said since you've met Dot, you've...

Yeah, Blob's right, you've changed.

Ah, yes, the kiss with Dot.

It's definitely changed him, and on reflection, a stint in

the doghouse would do him good.

No-one's coming to get me, are they?

HOW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!

Guess I better 'fess up to what happened yesterday.

I so wish I didn't have to show the next bit.

Go on, rewind.

This is me, obviously,

dreaming about kissing Dot, who's kind of my girlfriend,

who's kind of only 11, which is kind of weird.

Argh! What are you doing?

You are sucking face with your pillow

and you ask me what I'm doing?

You having a Dot flashback?

-Don't start, Phillip!

-Ooh, very grouchy this morning.

I thought love was supposed to make you all kind and gooey

so you only see the good in...

everything.

Sarge reckons someone at work told him if you have bananas

after lunch you won't wet the bed.

Glad you could join us.

We've only got a trillion things to do before tonight.

Tonight?

Pollution in river, environmental protest, meeting here,

organised by you!

We'll have to split jobs, otherwise we'll never get through it all.

-Chairs, more, lots more.

-Chairs.

-And for hot water?

-Urn.

And I've got...

water samples, river photos...

and most compelling of all,

dead fish.

Dead fish?

Your mum made something to eat.

Try one. They're good.

She wanted to impress everyone.

They're dairy free, gluten free and sugar free.

They're so dry, they suck the moisture out of your eyeballs!

You haven't written anything down.

Yes, he has. It's a love letter, see?

Dot, dot, dot.

Why don't you just have some more bananas, monkey boy?

'Normally, I would have left it at that.

'A bit lame, I know, but it would have been enough.

'But today, my inner dog was starting to growl.'

You know, Phillip, Sarge said he got the banana idea from someone at work.

Why would bedwetting come up, do you think,

unless he was telling them about you?

You never know, the idea might have come from Lisa.

Are you in a bad mood?

No, I'm deliberately nasty to Phillip just for the fun of it.

Whoa! I wonder what the tree did.

Well, no point complaining about someone's else's backyard

when your own is in a smozzle.

They're an introduced tree, a weed, really, taking over.

And you're belting it in order to...?

Well, I read, if you threaten them, they die.

You tried calling it names first?

Come on.

Where are you going? I've made a sign. I need you to put it up.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lockie, but you remember last time I tried to

get on top of a chair.

-What happened last time?

-You don't want to know.

Can I get Sarge to help you?

Ah, well, Sarge is in a tricky position with his job.

He can't take sides in the protest.

He doesn't know about the meeting, does he?

I thought it best. See, if he doesn't know, he doesn't

have to ask us not to have it.

I'll do the sign later, Mum. We have to go to John East right now.

-We do?

-We have to...

'"I have to see Dot," is what I should have said.

'"Brain meltdown because of girls,"

'is what I should have said.'

We have to get some pointers.

John East, school council.

He's got to know about saving the planet.

Why are you scratching yourself, man?

'What kind of animal is a walking flea resort?

'Yeah, that's right, and I was fast becoming one.'

So it's OK we're taking the youth group chairs from the church?

Yeah.

Strictly speaking, I didn't ask yet.

Things were a bit tense at my place this morning.

Mum and Dad's wedding anniversary, 20 years.

Do your olds do anything to celebrate?

Last year, Sarge made us cook dinner. quiche Lorraine and creme caramel.

Then he made us dress up as waiters to serve it for them.

Did it make them happy?

Sarge pretended to be surprised.

Mum went berserk, a full-tilt hugathon.

Maybe that's what I should do tonight, after the meeting.

Except...I can't cook.

This is where you say, "No sweat, Egg, I'll help you, mate."

Yeah, OK.

What you just said, except I can't cook, either.

We got the stuff from the supermarket.

Cool! But we don't have a lot of time.

Don't worry, Egg, we'll juggle it somehow, I promise.

-So are you guys all set for tonight?

-Totally.

Not really.

We still have loads of stuff to do...

-haven't we?

-Ah, so long as you've got your speech nailed.

The rest is all just window dressing. What speech?

-A bit higher.

-Well, you guys have called a public meeting.

People aren't showing up to knit the world's longest scarf.

They're showing up to hear you talk

-about the pollution in the estuary.

-Higher.

Lockie?

What were you saying?

We were just talking about the speech.

What speech?

The speech I'm not making tonight.

Yeah.

There'll be...speeches

and things to eat...

and chairs.

Yeah, chairs to...

chairs to sit on.

Please tell me you've got it all under control cos I cannot

stand up and talk in front of people.

Why are you looking at me? I don't want to do the speech either.

You have to. Look, come on, we can argue on the way to the supermarket.

Want to come for a quick wave?

Lockie, in which part of my life did you see me on a surfboard?

We can tie my board to the back of Egg's bike

and we can pick yours up on the way.

Ah, so real question is,

want to drive my girlfriend's board to the beach?

I'll do the speech.

'"I'll do the speech" -

'what was I thinking!

'I was thinking about Dot.

'That's what I was thinking.'

At least take your boots off!

-Freaky toes!

-What?!

Freaky toes. You've got to promise.

Not a word to anyone.

I'm going to the supermarket. And I can't do the chairs on my own

so you'd better meet me at the church at three.

It's like a lake.

You know what? I don't even care.

JAWS-TYPE MUSIC

What?

-Something just touched my leg.

-Like a shark?

-I don't know. Let's go in.

It wasn't a shark, Lockie.

I know. But there's a lot of important stuff I've got to do.

Dunno what know what happened. I never get the fear.

'Maybe it was the fact that, somewhere in my brain,

'I remembered Mum telling me that sharks can smell a dog

'from seven kilometres away.'

-Are you upset?

-No.

-Are you sure?

-Yup.

It's just we never get to hang out together.

Well, we can hang out now, out of the water.

-But you said you have got important stuff to do.

-Yeah, and I do.

What about later?

-After the important stuff?

-OK.

Wind farm, 5 o'clock?

'Should have just said, "No, too busy today.

'"Let's do it tomorrow."

'But the wind farm meant kissing...

'maybe.'

PHONE RINGS

Angela's place.

-FAKE VOICE:

-Could I speak to Sarge, please?

Phillip, is that you? You sound funny.

-Yeah, just a bit of a cold.

-Anything I can help you with?

No, not really.

I was just checking if Sarge is on late shift tonight.

Sure is. Anything else?

So, bananas, hey?

What do you think of them, Lisa?

-Um, they're good on cereal...

-PHONE RINGS

Sorry, Phillip, I've got to run.

Oh!

What was that supposed to mean?

Good on cereal and for bedwetters or good on cereal full stop?

Hey.

Who on earth toasts fairy bread?

Mum. And unless you're feeling really nasty,

maybe don't tell her it's not normal to toast it.

She's already feeling upset about muffins

and the sign you didn't help put up.

SHE GROANS

She got up on a chair, didn't she?

And Egg called an hour ago.

Something about some chairs.

'It was too late to help Egg.

'But he'd be fine, right?

'I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?'

This is for your stupid meeting, isn't it?

'Right about now Egg is thinking what a dog I've become, but me?

'I was too busy thinking about the wind farm and my date with Dot.'

LOUD CRASH AND SPLINTERING WOOD

Wow!

I think your mum would like them all like this.

They're more...

sculptural.

I think the key with aftershave is that you just put it on your face.

-You don't usually bathe in it.

-Have you done the speech?

Yeah.

-It's...

-Can I read it?

-..all up here.

Thought it'd be better if it came out a bit...

naturally.

So...

yeah, I'd better go practise...

somewhere quiet.

Egg, what's this?

It WAS quiche Lorraine and creme caramel.

Have to think of something to talk about.

Can't just pounce the second she arrives.

-Hey, Dot, how's the

-kissing practice?

What to say?

OK. So her uncle's a Green.

Talk green. Say something about the environment,

save the planet kind of stuff.

Hear that? Wind power?

THAT is the sound of coal not being burnt.

That's the sound of coal, NOT being burnt.

That's the sound of coal not being burnt.

'The more I worried about Dot standing me up,

'the more I forgot about the meeting.'

I think we should give him five more minutes.

We haven't got five more minutes, Egg.

If we leave it any longer, Sarge will be home before we even start.

Won't be long now.

Think we need to get this show on the road.

It's getting a bit restless in there.

Don't want them to start trashing the place.

You're going to have to speak to the people, Egg.

So.

Yeah. Uh...

Well, we all know why we're here.

Um, but I guess you want to hear what we think.

Anyone here like eating dead fish?

Well, I dunno about you but I don't normally eat live ones.

Thanks, all. Let me know your next move.

I think that went all right.

You got the point across.

Don't you, Phillip?

Ah, yeah! First rate in my book.

Fairy bread, anyone?

I'm SO sorry.

-Hello! Musical chairs - my favourite.

-Yes.

And they've all had such a lovely time

but now they're tired and they need a lift home.

Egg. Egg, look.

I know I messed up.

But I still want to know how it went.

You wanna know how it went?

-Two people came.

-Two?

Dot and who else?

Mr Norden and Vicky.

Your girlfriend was obviously doing something more important.

Like watching cartoons.

Yeah, right, as if!

You know the worst thing?

-I was such an idiot thinking we were friends.

-We are!

Yeah, right, the only reason you wanted to join was to see Dot.

-And she doesn't even give a toss about the environment.

-Yes she does.

And what do you two talk about?

You're cut cos you haven't even...

Had a girlfriend?

If having a girlfriend turns me into you, I don't want one.

Egg, let's get a move on! Come on!

Here - I don't think I'll be needing this.

You missed the wind farm and a protest meeting.

I'm guessing something really big must have come up.

-Yeah, sorry.

-'Please don't tell me you were watching cartoons.'

There was a rerun of all the old Porky Pigs. Lost track of time.

MUFFLED ROCK MUSIC

Hello, young Lockie.

Although I probably shouldn't say "young".

Probably doesn't go down well with young folk, eh?

Right, well. Must away.

Important business to attend to.

Anniversary tomorrow.

Need to hide this till the morn.

It's your anniversary tomorrow?

Tomorrow, as in not today?

'As in best in time? I've got to tell Egg.'

Hey Egg, open up! I've something important to tell you.

ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES

HOW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!

'Guess I knew no-one would come to bail me out.

'Maybe it's right that they didn't.

'Maybe the only person who can bail you out is you.'

Calling Mr and Mrs Eggleston.

Your table awaits.

And you better come too, Egg.

Take a seat.

What's all this?

Your anniversary feast. Organised by your son.

Have you forgiven it?

I have, Egg.

Which is more than I can say about him.

-We have a bit to talk about, Lockie.

-I thought we might.

We'll start with where you disappeared to this morning

without so much as a note.

-He was sucking up to me.

-Did he do a good job?

It was thorough.

That's good.

That's a good start.

However...

'I don't know why Mum didn't make the speech last night.

'She loves them - can't get enough of him.

'I'm sparing you this one

'but it had all the big guns.

'Responsibility, friendship, consequences.

'All the things I needed to remember for next time

'to keep me out of the doghouse.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd