Nerd Alert M.I. High

SIREN

Remote satellite launch.

Commence final countdown.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...

five...five...

five...

What's happening?

SIREN

Someone's hacked into the system.

Game over, suckers.

The Worm can never be defeated.

CACKLING

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

The old school spies have had their day and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agents.

Hidden in a place no villain would think to look...

Welcome to M.I. High.

Queen Valhalla, best action game ever.

It's got loads of strategy in it as well. It is awesome.

Still thinking about your brother?

Going to the station at 4 o'clock to see him off.

So he's definitely going back overseas?

-All part of being an army commando, I suppose.

-It's no big deal.

He's always being sent somewhere or other.

So, Queen Valhalla is this total babe and she has a tribe of trolls who worship her.

All right, boys, give someone else a chance.

What is it with boys and those dumb computer games?!

Dorks versus Orcs.

That's so dull.

Do you think so? It says on the bottle that it's glitter finish.

Please, boys, the science group have some very important work to do.

How am I meant to get to university using this pile of junk?!

It's not as if it's any good even when it IS working.

32 meg of RAM? That's a joke.

Don't even mention processor speed.

-Power PC 603.

-ARM 32.

Nice flirty little chat?

We were just talking about memory chips.

Right, thought you might be joining his gaming club.

Computers are for scientific research, not silly little games.

Miss?

-Yes, Blane.

-I need to go feed Mr Flatley's tropical fish.

He said he had a word with you.

He did?

Well, off you go then.

Do you know?

I never knew we had an aquarium.

Daisy? Are you helping too?

No, Miss, I have to ring Granny Miller.

You know, the one in Australia.

She's had a stroke and can't talk, but Mummy says it would give her a big lift

just to hear my voice.

Off you go then.

And, Daisy, you give her our love.

Miss?

I need the toilet.

This is Sparta, Britain's Star Wars defence satellite.

She orbits at a height of 39,000 kilometres, protecting the country from missile attacks.

-Wicked!

-Indeed.

But Sparta needs to be replaced.

In four hours, her defence functions will cease.

That's when the UK space centre will launch a rocket carrying her replacement.

Except we have a hacker.

He calls himself the "Worm". He's been infiltrating the space centre's computers.

Our firewall experts have been unable to stop him.

That was the launch of the European TV satellite.

We lost our Uranus probe in the same way.

Both were unmanned, of course.

-But now you're worried the Worm will do the same to the Sparta launch?

-That can't be allowed to happen.

MI9 believe a certain rogue state will attack Britain if they know Sparta isn't in place to protect us.

If the launch fails, we may face an enemy attack within hours.

Your mission is to find the Worm and stop him.

The Sparta launch has to take place at 4 o'clock.

You have four hours.

Synchronise your watches.

4 o'clock, a bit of a problem.

-Have you got something more important to do?

-Yeah, as a matter of fact.

More important than preventing a war?

You've got Daisy and Rose to help you.

Listen, Blane,

you've got a key role to play.

Here. It's a computer tracking device to help locate the Worm.

I had it specially done in the colours of your favourite team.

-Leyton Orient, isn't it?

-You don't know anything about me.

-He'll come around.

-He'd better.

You have one new message.

'Hi, bruv, I guess you're in class right now.

"Looking forward to seeing you later. It means a lot to me. See you at four."

The kids are so desperate for new computers.

I know we're strapped for cash, but what about the parents' fund?

Ah, no. Sadly, due to the activities of a corrupt few...

Parents' Committee Fund is actually in the red at the moment.

We owe them 2,000 quid?!

Yes, but worry not.

Mr Flatley has a plan.

"A set of brand new computers to any school

"who can solve a simple maths problem and create a winning slogan."

That's great.

How simple is the simple problem?

The maths department are working on it now.

I could ask Rose Gupta, one of my year nines.

-She's pretty good at maths.

-Good idea.

Checking this data from the hacking attack could take hours.

How's the profile going?

I reckon the Worm's a male.

Check it out. No girl would represent herself as a cartoon worm.

I think we're looking at a real geek. A Stewart Critchley type.

Maybe you'd fancy him.

Where's Blane? May I suggest one of you find him immediately and remind him of his duties.

Skipping last period this afternoon, meeting Kyle.

Oh, yeah, forgot about that.

-Who am I gonna play Queen Valhalla against?

-I don't know.

Find someone else.

Yeah, right.

Hey.

You really lost your cool today. Must've been something important.

I thought this would be your dream job.

Rockets, computer hacking, cartoon worms. How come you're trying to get out of it?

-You wouldn't understand. It's not kid's stuff.

-Neither's this.

We must ensure Sparta gets launched or the country could be at war. We can't do it without you.

You can have the special chair with the MP3 player and the drinks machine in the arm.

OK, but I definitely have to leave by three.

Rose, just the person.

This is a competition to help the school win a fab set of computers, which we desperately need.

All you have to do is complete the maths puzzle and write a clever slogan.

-I'm really busy today. I don't think...

-We're relying on you, Rose.

And the form has to be in the post by tonight.

Yes, Miss.

Visual profiling complete.

That's the Worm?

He looks like Frankenstein.

Even I wouldn't look good in a Photofit, but it's a start.

I reckon we're looking at a young guy, brilliant, but with a big ego.

The way he spells chaos with a "K" tells me he's pretty immature, but dangerous and edgy.

Alternative.

SLURPING

BURPS

Excuse me! I heard that.

Excuse me, Mummy.

He probably doesn't just like hacking. He probably likes blogs and gaming, too.

Alternative, blogs and gaming.

Stewart told me about this new site.

Sounds just like the place where this Worm would hang out.

I wonder if he's on the list of bloggers. There he is.

If we get the Worm online, you need to keep him talking while I get a trace.

-Hey, this is the Hacksman.

-Good to speak, Hacksman.

Wicked blog, it's the best on here by a mile.

The Worm thanks you.

Keep him talking.

You and me, we're into the same stuff.

I don't think so.

The Worm isn't playing games.

I know. I'd like to hack into all these amazing sights like you do.

The Worm doesn't call it hacking.

He prefers the term...

free access. And he needs to end this call.

He has stuff to do.

-Maybe we could meet up some time.

-You ask the Worm too many questions.

Ciao.

-Did you get a trace?

-Not enough time. Two hours to the launch and we've just blown our only lead.

Novice fools.

Now to work my way into the space centre.

Commence initial checks.

Ah, Blane, glad you decided to put the mission before your family matters.

-You knew about me meeting my brother?

-It's my job to know.

And the PM wants an update. How's the mission going?

That good, eh?

Right, better keep at it then.

-What was all that about?

-Nothing, it's too late now.

Too late for what?

I didn't know you had a brother.

5th Commando Regiment.

I don't see him much, but I was supposed to be seeing him off at four.

-He's going on military manoeuvres.

-And you don't want to let him down?

-No, but what will I say?

-"I can't come to see you cos I'm a teenage spy"?

-If we work together,

we can still crack this in time for you to see your brother. The Worm's too clever to get trapped online.

Our only option is to enter the computer system and defend it from attack.

Who'll do that? You?

No, it's not my field.

What we need is a gamer.

-Someone with the inside knowledge of the latest techniques.

-Stewart!

We rig his home computer to the launch programme

-and tell him he's playing a missile defence anti-hacking game.

-What if he doesn't want to play?

-He will...

if the right girl asks him.

-Daisy?

-Daisy?!

Yeah, Stewart's...

-Stewart's what?

-..got a bit of a thing for Daisy.

-He thinks she looks like Queen Valhalla.

-She's a computer animation.

Why would someone clever like Stewart fancy Daisy?

I won't have to speak to him, will I? You know, about trolls and stuff.

What if someone sees us?

Posh and Specs?

-I don't think so.

-I guess your street cred's much more important than stopping a war!

-I'll design graphics to fool him into thinking it's real.

-I need a game to overwrite.

There's one in my locker.

Time to unearth the Worm.

I've been looking for you everywhere. Have you finished the competition?

Competition? Oh, no, not quite.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, fine. Bye.

Hey, 50 Pence has got a load of those half-price DVDs.

-'Password accepted.'

-Too easy. Another wormhole in your security.

Bet you can't wriggle out of this.

SIREN

Oh, no.

It's the hacker again.

Missile defence. How does that look?

-Perfect.

-You finished?

-I hope so.

Once you're on Stewart's PC, make an excuse to get rid of him.

-I'll take you through the software install. It'll link his computer to the real Sparta launch.

-Cool.

RINGING

There's a priority transmission coming in.

-Prime Minister?

-'The Worm has hacked into the launch.

'We can't wait any longer. I'm calling up 5th Commando Division.'

Please don't send in troops. We've established contact with the hacker.

And there's still 45 minutes before the deadline.

My team have a plan in place.

'Very well, but if you fail, they're going in.'

I know, your brother's division.

I'll do my best, promise.

I hear you're looking for a partner to play Queen Valhalla with.

So, your place?

This...

is a dream.

-I've got the stamp club.

-I'm sure they won't miss you just this once.

I have this amazing new game called Missile Defence.

It'll blow your mind.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

I think I need laser eye surgery.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Very well, sir, goodbye.

The Prime Minister insists that we ignore the hacker for now.

Commence initial countdown.

Any chance of a coffee?

OK, Rose, take me through it while I try to keep him busy.

Er, sorry, it was two sugars.

Um, it would be lovely with a biscuit.

And just a drop more milk.

There.

That's the two IPs merged. Please tell me that's everything.

'Yes, you're hooked up to the launch programme.

'The Worm's in the mainframe. We need a trace on his PC ASAP.'

One extra tall, double shot, skinny, steamed decaf frappuccino with two sugars and chocolate sprinkles.

Thanks. I do hope I'm not a bother.

Now we're nice and cosy, let's play my new game.

-Missile Defence.

-Wow, you're keen.

Yep, that's me.

I've set it up for dual play, because I want you to take on a friend of mine.

Great player, never lost a game.

But I reckon you can beat him.

If you do, I will be...so impressed.

-OK, prepare for some hot consol action.

-You're the controller.

It's your job to launch Sparta, a satellite that will make the UK safe from an enemy missile attack.

-Bring 'em on.

-My friend hacks into the system, tries to stop the launch and blow it up.

-I like it.

-You have to defend the system and successfully complete the countdown.

-Hang on, I think I'd rather be the hacker.

-No! I mean, no.

The better player should always be the controller. It's more fun that way.

-But it would be cool to blow the satellite up.

-No!

It wouldn't.

Trust me.

OK.

I guess we could always swap later.

Ooh, your friend's already online. The Worm. Nice tag.

I think I've got time to see my brother before this trace activates.

Are you sure? What if it locks on to the Worm?

Don't worry. The minute anything happens, I'll be straight on to it.

BEEPING

No way.

Smart move. He's stopped me putting my fuel pump in place.

Come on.

You've got to stop him doing that.

You can stop him doing that, can't you?

I think so. Flicking to manual overdrive should do the trick.

Sorry.

I sweat when I'm nervous.

I get chesty under pressure.

Keep concentrating.

Go to the next level.

Check. I'm removing the launch gantry and clearing ground personnel.

Wow, those CGI men, they're so realistic.

I need my inhaler.

But...

What about the launch?

I'd like to help intercept the Worm, but my brother comes first. I really have to see him.

-To warn him not to join his division?

-We've done all we can with this.

-We can still stop the war and take the Worm out of the equation for good.

-What if it doesn't?

This is for real. Stewart thinks he's playing a stupid game.

There's no second chances or extra lives. If he fails, it's game over and my brother in the firing line.

It's a big sacrifice. But putting the lives of others before the ones we love is what we do.

Believe me, I've been there.

Stewart! There's a warning light flashing on our control panel.

It's the same hazard light as last time.

Prepare to abort launch.

MOBILE RINGS

Do something! We're losing.

I did learn this gaming tip off a blog site once.

It works on Queen Valhalla. Basically, you fake defeat.

-Isn't that risky?

-Er, yes, but it's all we've got.

There he is! He's fallen for it. Anti-file killerbots into action.

Way to go!

Now, if we're lucky, we resume countdown.

Resuming countdown.

No sign of intruder.

Five, four, three, two, one...

CHEERING

Put the kettle on, get the sponge cake out, guys, it's party time!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

-Stewart Critchley strikes again.

-Yes, we did it, we saved our army boys AND we stopped that stupid war!

-What a team!

-Steady on. It's just a game.

We did it!

We did it, did it, did it, did it!

-We did it. We won, we won, we won!

-Daisy...

Yes?

Today's been great and...

-I really enjoyed playing Missile Defence with your friend.

-Yeah?

-But, er...

That is...

There's no easy way to put this. I'm not ready for a relationship.

Huh?

-We're finished.

-You're dumping ME?

You and me, it will never work.

I'm sure you'll find someone else one day.

Impossible! I should have seen it coming.

Who would pull a cheap stunt like that?

Not now, Mummy, I'm busy.

-Who are you?

-Just as Daisy predicted - a stupid, immature geek!

Who are you calling stupid?

I'm top of the class for everything. Well, except PE.

Anyway, can't you read the sign? This room is private.

It's you who's leaving.

-You're under arrest for hacking into the Sparta satellite launch.

-Those amateurs...

Please don't make the Worm laugh.

-This isn't some dumb kids' game. Your stupid pranks nearly sent us to war.

-Says who?

Wise up, Worm boy. National security isn't just rockets and computers. It's real people. Life and death.

My brother could have died because of your pathetic games.

I don't know what you do in here all day.

Computer Club fancy dress party, sorry.

Bye, Mummy.

Well done.

Doing the right thing usually brings its own rewards.

Maybe you should get to the station.

-What's the point? I'm way too late.

-Surely it's worth a try. There might have been delays.

Leaves on the line, shortage of teabags at Crewe.

Ah, Rose. Computer competition?

Er, the answer to the maths puzzle is, er, 29.

Ah...Mr Brierly made it -0.7...

I thought that must be wrong. And the slogan?

Er, "Your school will be ready for lift-off with Intral Computers."

Rose, that is wonderful.

Knew you'd come through. And I do hope

you didn't spend all day on it, though!

Thank you very much, sir.

I will.

The PM sends his congratulations.

The UK is safe from attack and our troops are standing down.

Now, what about our friend the Worm?

The Worm's been really stupid.

He can see that now.

He might be a useful person to have on our side.

Once we've re-educated him.

I don't suppose Stewart mentioned ME at all?

No, Mum, he wasn't there.

I was pretty late and I guess his train left on time.

Yeah. See you later.

-Kyle?

-Where the heck were you?

-Good job my call-up got cancelled at the last minute.

-Cancelled?

-Yeah, some satellite launch or something.

They reckon we're not needed any more.

-You all right? What have you been up to?

-Nothing much.

I suppose you could say that we owe it all to Charles Babbage, but you don't want to hear me rabbiting on

about the history of computers, so it is with great pleasure that I declare the new computer suite open.

Well done, once again, Rose Gupta, for providing the winning entry.

Stolen...

already.

Not even MI9 could protect this place.