Vote Skul M.I. High

What do you want done with these?

Just chuck them in the box. It's all got to get packed up.

I can't believe it's all over.

MI9 disbanded

and it's all our fault.

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

Old-school spies have had their day

and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

Hidden in a place no villain will think to look...

Welcome to M.I. High.

The Prime Minister's inside.

Rescuing the Prime Minister

and arresting The Grand Master for kidnapping.

This is going to be a great day!

Agents, thought I'd join you for this one.

Thought he'd steal the credit.

Attack Plan Theta?

Agent! Follow the attack plan!

"Carrie kicks the door in" IS Attack Plan Theta.

Oh, kids...

-Stop! MI9!

-Grab The Grand Master. I'll protect the PM.

Agents, stop.

THE GRAND MASTER: Child agents?

So our reports were true.

Fat lot of good that info is going to do you in prison.

You must be Oscar. You have your mother's beautiful temper.

Don't worry, Prime Minister. You're safe now.

You idiot. I was safe already.

Em, but what about The Grand Master?

He's here signing a peace treaty.

-ALL AGENTS:

-What?!

The Prime Minister is correct.

SKUL is no longer a criminal organisation.

I'm going straight.

And for abandoning crime, The Grand Master is receiving a full pardon.

You can't just let him off! What about everything he's done?!

SKUL will make amends for every crime carried out in our name.

What? All of them? That would take for ever!

I've made many mistakes, but I'm proud

to live in a country that offers its people a second chance.

For once, I must agree with the agents. This is a dangerous folly

and, more importantly, why wasn't I informed?

Why on earth would I

run a decision like this past a minor official, Agent Stork?

I-It's Stark.

I've made my decision.

The Grand Master is a free man.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Why is the Prime Minister letting this happen?

-Some kind of brain control?

-No.

The PM genuinely thinks it's a good idea.

I'm representing the Save The Planet Party.

May I count on your vote in the forthcoming election?

-Why is she talking like that?

-What election?

For school president. I thought, with the general election coming up,

we should hold an election of our own.

Do you know, I think Avril would make a very good president.

If elected, I will close the school.

-You've got my vote!

-I'll replace the school with a college

where everyone will learn woodwork and farming.

-You've lost it again.

-You can't win with those policies.

Yes, I can. I'm the only person standing.

-Vote Scoop! Vote BLING!

-Oh, no!

Vote BLING - the British League of Awesome New Government.

Yeah, um, that spells BLANG.

So vote BLANG.

Carrie, this is the answer. It's all about the general election.

SKUL going straight will mean a massive drop in crime,

so the Prime Minister will get re-elected. That's why he's agreed.

Well, if that's the case, he may have made a tactical error.

This was just shown on television.

'I wasn't always an evil crime lord.

'I was just a normal child

'who sadly took the wrong path.

'I can remember the day'

it all went wrong.

I stole a chip

from a friend's lunch plate. The next day I was

building giant death-lasers.

Ah, the folly of youth.

Wait for it.

I want to make our country a better place for our young people.

That's why I'm standing in this election.

I want to be Prime Minister.

I plan to disband the security services.

If the people of Britain will put their trust in me,

then I will put my trust in them not to break the law.

Just one last question.

If you are completely legal now,

why do you still cover your face with a scarf?

I'm shy.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

ANGRY VOICE ON PHONE

Stark. He's seen the interview.

Why are we worried? He says he'll get rid of the security services,

including the police. No-one will vote for him.

Yeah, of course they won't. He's clearly planning to cheat!

Your job is to find out how.

Get me some dirt and we can throw him in jail!

I'm sorry, Agent Stark. You can't do this.

-I'm sorry?! Can't?!

-I don't like it any better than you,

but SKUL is now a legitimate organisation.

We can't investigate a political party

-just because you don't like them.

-Well, boo-hoo(!)

Excuse me for trying to protect the country!

This order is morally wrong. You're under no obligation to follow it.

Frank, this is The Grand Master we're talking about.

I mean...how many times have we had to foil his evil schemes?

-We can't just let SKUL take over the country.

-Please reconsider.

If you do this, you're no better than the people you're fighting.

I think we'll have to disagree about that.

Well, I'll have no part of it.

Find me something!

We're going to stop SKUL and I don't care how.

Look what I just got through the door. Honestly,

who would vote for a bunch of crazies like this?

Ha-ha! Um, yes.

Who indeed?

-Frank?

-Ah, hello, Rose.

I don't understand why you're doing this.

Don't you want to stop him becoming Prime Minister?

I've lost family fighting SKUL! Do you think I like doing nothing

-while they take over the country?

-Then why?

In a free country, the secret service doesn't run the government.

If we influence elections,

we may as well get rid of elections altogether

and run the country ourselves.

This is The Grand Master we're talking about.

He stole 2,000-year-old biological weapons,

tried to create a new ice age, tried to blow up the moon!

-He's a criminal!

-I know, but he was pardoned.

If he breaks a law again, I'll be the first to act,

but until he does, he's got the same rights as everyone else.

Please don't resign over this!

I'm not resigning, merely taking a few days' leave from MI9

and as a private citizen, going to help the Prime Minister's campaign.

No dirty tricks, no smear campaigns,

just talking to people about the issues.

-Good luck.

-You'll excuse me if I don't wish you the same.

Hello, Mr Voter!

I'm voting for SKUL because I'm worried about crime.

The Grand Master used to be a criminal

so he knows exactly how to deal with them.

In fact, you could call him the Crime Minister!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Boom-boom!

-Hello, lovely to meet you.

-Hello, nice to meet you.

Are you voting for SKUL?

-Hello.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm The Grand Master. Pleased to meet you.

Are you voting for us?

That's nice. Hello, little fellow.

-BABY CRIES

-Oh! Does he bite?

Nothing to report from the walkabout.

I would never vote for a party called

the Secret Kriminal Underground League,

but now that they've changed the K

so it stands for "kind"...

Well, I think I'm going to be voting for them twice.

Am I allowed to do that?

Good afternoon.

The Grand Master. I hope you'll be voting for us on Thursday.

Pleased to meet you.

How do you do?

Ah! I remember your father - The Great Grand Master.

Oh, yes.

During the war, he used Winston Churchill's own secret escape tunnel

to sneak into the Houses Of Parliament

to steal the Prime Minister's cigars!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, he was a rogue.

Oh, thank you very much.

Ditch the press.

It's time for Operation HTO.

We rendezvous behind the Bank Of Britain in one hour.

We're going in through the back.

I can't wait to see their faces!

Got him!

I need a postal vote for the election.

What? Oh, no, no!

I'm not going on holiday. I just want to be extra sure

-that no-one sees me voting for...

-Vote Avril!

->

Vote Avril! Vote Avril!

If you want to save the planet, vote Avril.

There's nothing young people respond to better than ideals.

Free stuff if you vote for Scoop! Free stuff if you vote for Scoop!

-I've brought the reporter.

-Great.

A photo of The Grand Master robbing a bank

-will finish SKUL as a political party.

-Where is he?

-In there,

probably brainwashing the manager for the vault codes.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

I heard him, Rose - bank job,

ditch the press, Operation HTO.

We can end this election right now. Come on!

Let's do this!

Not another word!

You deserve everything that's coming to you.

-This is MI9!

-What?

I said no publicity for this moment of enormous generosity.

Is it possible MI9 have been spying on me -

a completely legal candidate in this election -

in the hope that I might commit a crime?

-He knew we were listening in.

-We've been set up.

Well, since you're here, I may as well tell you about

Organisation HTO - Help The Orphans.

It's my personal charity.

I don't normally talk about it,

but that's just the sort of person I am.

Let's get out of here.

"MI9 try to sabotage charity hero's election campaign."

So not only didn't you find anything,

but you also gave his campaign a boost.

People are starting to agree that we should be disbanded!

Well done(!)

His campaign may be chaotic, idiotic even,

but he hasn't done anything illegal since the pardon.

We should let him get on with it. He won't win.

Oh, is that so?

'And the latest post-Orphangate poll shows The Grand Master

'neck and neck with the Prime Minister.

'There is nothing between them.

'Only an idiot would try to predict this one.

'I think The Grand Master's going to win.'

Well, he won't -

not after what I'm planning -

and this time I'm giving the mission to proper ADULT agents,

so trot off back to school.

Mr Flatley,

I want to know what sort of a man I'm working with.

Who are you going to vote for?

Oh, I'm not voting for anyone. Teachers must remain neutral

in the school election.

I meant in the general election.

Oh, um, I'm not telling you that.

You're voting SKUL.

I don't believe it!

Mrs King,

believe what you like. You will get nothing from me!

Looks like you're putting a lot of effort in, Scoop?

Yeah, Scoop doesn't believe in doing anything half-hearted.

Except homework, obviously.

Still, making posters for your campaign and stuff -

I'm impressed.

No, not for MY campaign.

Genius, isn't it?

"Vote Avril for sandpaper in the bogs."

Scoop, you can't win an election by sabotaging the opposition.

Why not?

I've seen it on the news.

It's what the government are doing to The Grand Master.

Them and that MI9.

It's not the same.

Yeah?

How's it different?

Oi! What about the posters?

A very good question.

Oh, i-i-it's... You all right, Mr F?

Have you read this?

Um, yeah. Sort of.

Avril wants six hours of compulsory homework every day.

It's too much.

No. I've made a decision.

Hang neutrality! I'm voting Scoop!

Organic foods, biodegradable textbooks,

-low-energy light bulbs.

-Yeah!

That sounds brilliant.

You've really got us. I wonder who Mrs King's going to vote for.

Mrs King.

I hope I can count on your vote in this forthcoming election.

I'm sorry, Avril.

Teachers must remain 100% impartial.

No member of staff will be backing either candidate.

Vote Scoop!

Vote Scoop! Vote Scoop!

Vote Scoop!

-Vote Scoop!

-How can I help with your campaign?

Vote Scoop!

Scoop's up there trying to fix the school election

because he thinks it's OK. That's down to us.

We shouldn't have interfered with the general election.

If the people want to vote for The Grand Master, that's their choice.

And we should protect their right to make that choice.

We need to make sure that

Stark's attempt to sabotage the SKUL campaign fails.

-Agents, I'm proud of you.

-Frank?

-I thought we'd need some help.

The Prime Minister's campaign will just have to manage without me.

This won't be easy. We don't know what Stark's plan is.

I may be able to help you.

MI9 are working on something called an oppositron collider.

It reverses messages sent from the brain to the mouth.

Anyone hit by this weapon

can't help but say the opposite of what they intend.

If you got hit by it during a live debate, it'd be a disaster.

We need to stop Stark

using the oppositron collider at the live debate.

Here, take this - an oppositron energy detector.

Once the collider's ready to fire,

it will attract this needle so you'll see where it's coming from.

Now go!

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the frontrunners in this election -

the Prime Minister...

..and The Grand Master.

Gentlemen, welcome to you both.

The first question - what would the candidates do

about pollution?

My policy is to create lower carbon emissions

from a lower reliance on fossil fuels...

The weapon hasn't been activated yet. Keep your eyes open.

Eyeball on Stark. Camera left.

Got him. Rose?

Hold positions. No reading on the oppositron detector.

It could be faulty. We need to get closer to him just in case.

The needle's twitching. Oscar, go!

The reading's coming from the other side of the studio.

..use these resources to lower pollution.

In my...

Oh!

Stop! You're ruining everything!

Are you responsible for this, Stork?

Yes, it was all my idea.

I mean... I tried to fix the election

by shooting The Grand Master with an oppositron beam.

You did what?

This is an outrage!

I demand that all security personnel stay away from this election.

The people must be allowed to decide for themselves.

I couldn't agree more.

You can see why I want to disband them.

I really, really...love you.

And I'm hearing we have enough results to make an announcement.

The news is that SKUL have won this election by a landslide.

We can now hear from the new Prime Minister.

'The behaviour of

'the British security services during this election

'has showed me exactly why we must'

disband them. They are out of control.

'It is therefore my first act as Prime Minister

'to disband MI6,

'MI9

'and the police force.'

Oh and General Flopsy is now Minister of Agriculture.

I hope you're happy now your party have won the election.

I did not vote for SKUL.

But you...

So who did you vote for?

Voters of St Hope's,

I will follow the example set by our new Prime Minister

and, if elected,

I will disband all the teachers

and trust you to teach yourselves.

PUPILS CHEER

What do you want done with these?

Just chuck them in the box. It's all got to get packed up.

I can't believe it's all over.

MI9 disbanded

and it's all our fault.

Look at all the other services they're closing down -

the police, MI5, MI6, MI17, MI38.

Hang on!

-What's MI17?

-It's a small service attached to the Treasury -

a hangover form the Cold War.

These days they just guard the nation's gold reserves.

That's it! That's the whole reason he got rid of the security services!

He's planning to rob the Treasury!

And there's nothing we can do about it. We're not agents!

Well, technically, MI9 doesn't cease to exist until midnight, so...

-One last time?

-Let's do it!

It's Frank London. We need to talk.

He beat us to it!

-What have you done with my gold?

-What?

We thought you took it!

Oh, this is priceless!

Someone else stole the gold before you had a chance?

A minor setback.

All over the country, my agents are going to work.

Soon I will have every valuable...

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Excuse me.

I should take this.

Speak.

What do you mean, they've gone? They're the Crown Jewels!

-PHONE BEEPS

-Hold on - I've got another call.

Speak.

Diamond reserve?

Empty?

-PHONE BEEPS

-Wait. Wait!

Speak.

Foreign currency exchange, empty?!

Oops.

You see, with the police gone,

people are nicking the stuff before you can get your hands on them.

It would appear things haven't gone entirely as I'd planned.

Yeah, you need to reinstate law and order

to stop everybody else committing crimes.

And you can't do that

because you sent all the security personnel and police home.

Unless...I can get on television,

in which case I could order them all back to work at the same time.

Yeah, and we'll help you with that...

as long as you resign as Prime Minister.

Ooh, as much as I hate to admit it,

things were better before.

You have a deal.

The nearest TV studios are at the Houses Of Parliament.

Let's go.

So you voted for the Prime Minister?

No, I didn't vote for him either.

Oh, look. It's neck and neck.

-A free speedboat for everyone if I win the election.

-A speedboat?!

-It's just an election promise. It don't mean anything.

-That's immoral!

I promise to end global warming for ever if you vote for me!

Come on, we should get to the gallery.

Shouldn't someone stay with him?

He'll be fine. The only way out

is through those two doors and they're locked.

We'll be watching.

There you go, Flopsy.

Mind you don't chew anything wiry.

OK, Grand Master.

-Going live in three, two...

-Hang on.

Why should we believe you're really going to resign?

Because I never wanted to be Prime Minister in the first place.

So...why did you stand?

I needed the powers to abolish the security services

so I could commit my crimes without fear of arrest.

I assumed you'd worked that out for yourself!

Yeah, well, em, just wanted to make sure.

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

You're live to the nation.

This is your Prime Minister.

The current state of anarchy must be dealt with.

Therefore, I am reinstating the security services immediately.

No, Flopsy, leave that cable alone!

OK, time to resign.

I also with to announce that I...

will stay on as Prime Minister.

-Double-crossed!

-I don't believe it!

Ready for him.

TAPE REWINDS

'Because I never wanted to be Prime Minister

'in the first place.

'I needed the power...'

-Nice one, Oscar.

-'..to abolish the security services

'so I could commit my crimes without fear of arrest.'

They tricked me!

Hmm. Under the circumstances,

I resign.

Well played, agents.

Now, Flopsy! The cable!

How did he get out?

Yeah, it's not like the Houses Of Parliament have secret exits.

Oh, um, actually, they kind of do.

During the war, he used Winston Churchill's own secret escape tunnel

to sneak into the Houses Of Parliament

to steal the Prime Minister's cigars!

Stands to reason that if it was Churchill's tunnel...

Come on.

There he is!

Gotcha!

Now we can finally see who you really are.

Stop!

Prime Minister?

Ex-Prime Minister, technically.

-Where are we?

-10 Downing Street.

When we discovered The Grand Master was up to no good,

I suggested the ex-PM form a temporary government.

OK. Can we unmask the villain now?

I can't let you do that.

The Grand Master's criminal tendencies may have been exposed,

but he's done nothing illegal since I signed his amnesty.

-Not this again?

-I'm sorry. If this country stands for anything,

it is justice and until he inevitably commits another crime,

he's a free man.

Thank you.

No doubt I'll be seeing you all again...

soon.

He's going to keep committing crimes. That's what he does!

-And we'll catch him.

-That's what we do.

Who knows?

Maybe he'll take this opportunity to leave his wicked ways behind.

Wait a second.

My wallet! He took it!

Well, it's an extraordinary result.

A dead heat between Avril and Scoop.

Oh, hold on a minute!

I've found someone who hasn't voted and she is going to vote for me.

Well, if that's the case, then...

What did you promise her?

I just told her my plans!

No school uniform, free sweets.

More homework.

A ban on fizzy drinks.

Yeah. No, that's not...

Um...

Um, no games in school!

Er, that's not right.

Um...

Five-minute lunch breaks! Yeah!

No, come on!

Please, this is exactly what I mean. No!

Frank, did you just shoot Scoop with the oppositron collider?

After everything you said about not fixing elections?

Yes, well...

I couldn't let Scoop become school president,

could I?

All right, it's driving me mad.

Just tell me who you voted for.

Oh, well,

I suppose you'll find out soon anyway.

I've just agreed to stand in the re-run of the general election.

I represent the Morris Dancing Loony Party.

May we count on your vote?