The Germinator M.I. High

Oi! Germs! Say hello to Squirt Squirt Wallop!

Coffee stains? Wallop!

Ketchup? Wallop!

Big, angry bin monster?

Wallop!

Squirt Squirt Wallop, and the germs can squirm.

Idiot. But he's right. Soon the entire country will squirm.

Missed a bit.

'The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

'And MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.'

'Hidden in a place no villain will think to look.

'Welcome to M.I. High.'

You see, Mr McNab? I told you a science competition

would inspire the pupils.

Oh, absolutely! I mean, Donaldson here's studying

what crickets do in their spare time.

Can't believe they'd rather eat leaves than watch telly.

Whereas Ditchwater is studying the effect of music on plants.

# I loved your flowers, so bright and red

# But now they're gone... #

And you're all dead.

Ah! Whereas Tupper here,

now, his "groundbreaking" project involves staring out the window!

They're my germ-specs, sir. You can see every germ in the room.

-May I?

-Absolutely.

Oh, that's extraordinary. Ha-ha!

But get this. In the last week germs have been disappearing like mad.

Really? How fascinating... Ooh, look, a volcano!

Oh, a volcano.

Listen, girls. If you need any help with your science project,

I'm more than happy to help you with it.

So I'll see you later then, yeah?

It spews out real sulphur dioxide, so it's kind of poisonous.

Isn't he amazing? I mean, the volcano - it's amazing.

-BEEP!

-Very good. Just like Mount Etna!

It's true. Girls never want to go out with me.

Have you ever actually asked anyone?

Tom? Mr All-Talk-And-No-Action?

There's more chance of Frank asking out Stella.

Hi, Frank. Stella.

Team, listen up. This is Bobby Bleach,

inventor of Squirt Squirt Wallop.

A scientific genius whose business has shot up from nowhere.

We don't know where he got his money,

but we do know he's recently bought a large amount of extranium,

an extra strong metal used for making weapons.

Your mission's simple. Take this extranium detector

and search his factory for evidence.

-Tom, you stay here on comms.

-Yesss!

-Things could get dangerous.

Sounds like it. What if he runs out of biscuits?

Frank, tell me we have enough biscuits.

We're good.

Now, hang on, it says "No Entry"!

And this says "Environmental Health".

We're here to search for any signs of pollution.

What? You cannot just barge in here...

Really?! And what do you know, Mr First-Day-On-The-Job?

I...I know where the coffee machine is.

If you don't let us in...

OK, all right! But you've got to wear these.

Otherwise my boss'll kill us.

You're scary.

Does this remind you of your kitchen? Germs on cupboards!

Germs on worktops! In fact, germs every...

everywhere...

There are germs everywhere!

Mr Bleach, are you all right?

No, I'm not all right, there are germs everywhere!

That's it, I'm out of here, before I catch anything!

You two, squirt me!

Intruders! Squirt them, quick!

They're from Environmental Health. They made me let them in.

I said no unauthorised entry!

Now they can tell the whole world I'm a... I'm a...

Yeah, what are you?

All right, so I don't like germs. I can't stand them.

Horrible, nasty... I hate the germy things!

I'm getting the feeling he doesn't like germs.

Wait. Aren't you a bit young to be Environmental...whatevers?

ALARM BLARES

Out! Out! Everybody outside!

Outside? I haven't been outside in 20 years!

You two - squirt EVERYTHING!

You two search the factory. I'll stay here and hack the mainframe.

ALARM STOPS

Tom, I'm in Bleach's computer. Can you get through the firewall?

Hey, the only thing on fire right now is me.

-You're in.

-Tom?!

I could've been anyone. So how's the mission?

Everything's cool. It's not the mission I'm worried about.

Look at the germs.

There's hardly any.

Even less than this morning.

Hi, Tom.

Look, we could do with some help on our project after all.

We need to know how to speed up a chemical reaction.

Oh, well, that's easy, you just need heat.

Heat speeds up any chemical rea...

Yeah, so we're wondering if you'd seen Dan?

He's always disappearing.

DETECTOR BEEPS

It's the barrels.

BEEPING SPEEDS UP

They contain something called Triple X-1.

The barrels must be made from extranium. But what's Triple X-1?

Ethanol, phosphoric acid and Triple X-1.

It's just an ingredient, it's hardly a weapon.

I didn't find anything. Only this. It'd fallen behind his desk.

Looks like it's been there for some time.

It's Bobby Bleach, aged five.

I guess he wasn't always a clean freak.

< We need to find those kids!

Quick - take some photos and let's get out of here.

< And to think I nearly went outside!

This stuff contains Triple X-1.

So strong, they keep it in extranium barrels.

He may be a weirdo, but he hasn't got a weapons factory.

-Let's go.

-Frank.

The body needs germs.

It practises on them, so when a disease comes along - bosh!

But get rid of the germs and what happens?

People's defence systems get weaker. They'd be defenceless against germs.

What if Triple X-1 speeds this process up?

MI9 thought Bleach was making weapons.

What if this is that weapon?

Wellies? White wellies?

Have you any idea how ridiculous I look?

And stop that! Stop it!

I'm sorry, Crime Minister.

But I can't risk anyone - even you - bringing germs into my factory.

YOUR factory?

Might I remind you it was KORPS that built this factory?

-And it is KORPS that supply you with Triple X-1!

-I know.

And whatever it is, it's making Squirt Squirt Wallop

sell like hot cakes. We're making a fortune.

Yes, and I'd like to keep it that way.

I can trust you, can't I, Mr Bleach?

Please, call me Bobby.

Well, in that case,

I think it's time I let you in on a little secret.

I didn't know that was there!

After you, of course.

Now, Bobby. Let me introduce the Germinator.

It's amazing. It's... it's...

-What is it?

-Your protection, Bobby.

Out there are thousands of germ-ridden criminals,

who at any moment could break in and steal our secret formula.

No! I mean, I don't want their filthy germs in here.

Of course not. Now look.

Inside the Germinator is every known bacterium, virus and germ.

-Germs? But I thought you said that...

-Listen to me!

If we mix them together we can create new, more powerful germs,

and use them to scare away intruders.

You mean, make a germ so...

so despicable that no-one can even come close to the factory?

And you remain safe.

Safe inside your germ-free... home.

All my life, I've been a slave to germs.

But now I can be the master.

Create, Bobby.

Create a germ the world has never seen before!

OK, then.

If I take a bit of this germ...

and a pinch of that one...

And wallop!

A brand new germ.

What is it?

Ah! You'll have to wait and see.

But how do we test out that it works?

There you go, Mr F.

Right. Firstly, well done, everybody,

I thought all your projects were marvellous.

You're bound to win. Then they'll realise how great you are.

But the winner of this year's Science Competition is...

..Daniel Morgan and his sulphur-producing volcano.

Well done. If you'd like to come forward?

Daniel, congratulations, there you are. Mr McNab?

I need to take a photograph of you, Morgan, for the school magazine.

And guess what, as I'm the editor, I get to be in it too.

We should stand, like, really close together.

Aww, he's so nervous.

BOTH: It's so sweet!

-Smile!

-Wait! I nearly forgot. Don't move.

-OK, I'm ready.

-Right.

-Say cheese!

Er, yeah, you might want to say "pizza" instead.

AAGH! No! You can't have taken the picture?!

-Not with me looking like this?!

-Done.

I'm sorry, but that is classic!

SHE SCREAMS

-Aagh!

-Nice try, but no-one's going home.

No-one's going home. Learn that right now.

Oh, oh, my beautiful face! Who did that?

I'm 47, that's not right!

DISTANT SCREAMS

A new breed of germs?

Don't breathe them in! Cover your mouth and nose, quick!

It's the germs, they're coming through the window!

Instant spots? At least we know the machine works, I suppose.

Yeah, but I'd better try another, eh? You know, just in case.

It's Bobby Bleach.

I think he's trying to attack everyone with germs.

How? We searched his factory.

Well, that was... HE MAKES MONKEY NOISES

Oo-oo-oo!

Are you all right there, Frank?

Stop that! Stop monkeying around!

You... HE MAKES MONKEY NOISES

Oh, not again!

Monkeys? Why monkeys?

Stop that!

It's Monkey Flu! You catch it, you go bananas!

Eh? Bananas!

THEY MAKE MONKEY NOISES

Yeah, great, your spots have gone.

Get off. Get off me! Come on, guys, I need you to focus!

Stop it!

Oi, that desk is expensive!

Frank, I need you to call Stella.

I need you to go after Bleach!

No, it's a phone, not a banana.

Get down from there now!

I'm not joking, you get down from there right now!

Ah! I love this machine.

Hey, where are you going?

Stella, it's Tom.

Stella?

Greetings to everyone on this "secure" MI9 channel.

As you can see, KORPS has now made a monkey out of all of you.

To stop us from releasing even worse germs, we have only one demand.

That MI9 release the imprisoned Dr Steinberg.

You have just one hour to comply.

Dr Steinberg?

Who's Dr Steinberg?!

That's my business. Now, you stay here and await orders.

There's a good little squirt.

As if I've got any germs. Pah!

The germs must have come from the factory,

you guys must've missed something.

But I'm not a field agent, remember? I sit here eating biscuits!

All right, fine, but if I do this, you lot are so going in a zoo.

Terrific. A laser cannon would've been better,

but it's the thought that counts.

THUMP!

FAN WHIRRS

Freeze! MI9, you're under arrest!

I did say freeze.

You too, Bleach. I know what you're up to.

Good. Then you'll know that I can create whatever germ I like.

And this next one's going to be a beauty.

Please, Mr Bleach...

Look, I'm not good at this. I don't really go outside much.

But this machine is wrong.

You have no idea what it's capable of.

I do. And soon the whole world will too.

Now, just keep out of my way!

And what would your parents think about what you're doing?

Where did you find this?

My friend found it, when she was here.

I haven't seen this... It's my dad.

It was germs that killed him.

Stupid germs.

But now I can control them. And no-one's going to stop me!

-RUMBLING SOUNDS

-What was that?

No. No, it can't be!

Bleach, what's going on?

The Germinator was full of the nastiest germs ever.

I was just trying to create something new, but...

But what? What is that thing?

The germs have mutated into one giant...

well, one giant Mega-Germ.

You see? You can't control germs. You're going to hurt people.

What have I done?

Switch it off. Switch off the machine right now!

I'm trying, I'm trying! But it's like the Mega-Germ's controlling it.

You're telling me that thing's taken over the machine?!

And there's more. It's trying to infect everyone.

At least that monkey thing's worn off.

Oo-oo-ah! Well, almost.

Aneisha, how are you feeling?

Aneisha?

What's the matter?

Zoe! Dan!

Tom, it's me. I think Bleach is launching another attack!

It's not Bleach doing it.

But Frank, I can't do this, not on my own.

Tom, on your own, you do things I could never do.

Your ideas, your creative thinking...

And we need you.

The others are losing consciousness.

Dan's heart rate's falling fast!

Tom, you must believe you can do this.

EVERYONE STARTS COUGHING

Oh, this germ's good. They'll sleep all right.

Sleep for ever!

We have to destroy it.

I'll just give it a little Squirt Squirt Wallop, shall I(?)

No, but what if we give it a lot?

-OK, I'm all set.

-Let it rip, Tommy-Boy!

Ha! We did it! See ya later, Germinator!

Actually, I think it might see us first.

It's still growing. How can it still be growing?!

Melissa was right. Dan would know what to do, he always does.

Why can't I just have an idea?!

You mean like a light bulb moment?

Bobby, you're brilliant!

The spray's not working

because the reaction's not happening fast enough.

-And how do you speed up a reaction?

-You turn up the heat!

I'm turning the heat up all right.

Infect this, Mega-Germ!

THEY GASP FOR AIR

Tom, it's me. What just happened?

Just a giant Mega-Germ trying to take over the world. The usual.

Listen, I know you've got to arrest me.

But please, let me do one thing first.

BIRDS TWEETING

You really haven't been outside in 20 years?

No, and I want to thank you.

You made me realise that germs are nothing to be afraid of.

Well, apart from the big, scary ones.

Not many germs in jail though, eh?

Don't worry.

As Bleach helped destroy the Mega-Germ, he's not going to jail.

He'll spend a year cleaning up local parks instead.

At least he'll be outside.

And hey, maybe you'll go outside more after today's heroics.

Are you kidding me? It's way too dangerous!

And what about the Crime Minister's ransom demands?

Yeah, she wanted MI9 to release a... Dr Steinberg?

There is a Thaddeus Steinberg. A subneuroscientist.

But he's been in prison for years.

Why would KORPS suddenly want him now?

'I don't need excuses. I need Dr Steinberg!

'Only then can I reprimand you face to face.'

I heard there was a chemical leak nearby.

Yeah, and that the guy who stopped it was, like, a spy our age.

Really? The one who got rid of my spots? Who is he?!

Forget it, girlfriend, he's mine.

No way.

If anyone's going out with a spy, it's going to be me.

Shame you can't tell them.

Hey. I'm a spy. See you tomorrow.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd