We Need to Talk About Kortex M.I. High

My mind begins to degrade.

I must transfer it before it is too late.

The search for the vessel continues, Mastermind.

We will not fail you.

Do not.

But first, it is time for Evelyn Baxter's days to end.

KORTEX are in position.

By this time tomorrow,

the Deputy Prime Minister will be finished once and for all.

The 21st-century faces a new kind of threat

and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

Hidden in a place no villain will think to look - welcome to MI High.

Have you heard from Tom?

You mean, has he got us another missing embassy cat investigation?

-No.

-Look, I know the missions are...

disappointing now we're not with MI9

but sooner or later we'll crack some global conspiracy,

the government will have to let Hamish reinstate MI High

and we'll get our jobs back.

Good morning, students. Sorry I'm late.

Hope you're all ready for another thrilling day of...

Oh, dear.

..learning and... Hang on a second. ..enlightenment. Oh.

We'll just have to use that classroom over there.

Maths is much more interesting than boring old biology.

Oh, dear. Well, at least it's open. In you come, everyone.

Quickly, quickly, quickly.

Oh, Mr Flatley, it smells terrible in here.

Oh, for real.

It's like everyone in the world did one at the same time.

Yes, I'm afraid that's the drains, Felicity.

We're still waiting for a replacement caretaker.

Things have fallen to pieces since Frank left.

-Do you think he might come back?

-He's not a real caretaker, is he?

It's just his cover job.

He's got a 9-5 at MI9 now we've been shut down.

At least he's got a job. This place is such a dump.

I can't believe we're stuck here for ever.

It must be frustrating.

Sorry.

Didn't mean to startle you, Frank.

Hamish, sorry. You end up in a world of your own

when you're doing the same thing over and over.

You don't have to tell me. I was stuck behind that desk for ten years.

Any chance of a field assignment?

Checking these reports seems like a waste of my...

skills.

I can't argue with you there. We'll find you something.

-Trust me, you won't be here for

-for ever. Thank you, Hamish.

A couple of years max. Hang in there, Frank.

And if you need anything, just call.

'KORTEX are in position.

'By this time tomorrow, the Deputy Prime Minister will be finished

'once and for all.'

Sir, I've just intercepted

a conversation between the Crime Minister and the Mastermind.

They're going to assassinate the Deputy PM. We need to tell MI9.

I'll pass on the message immediately. Well done, Edward.

Write the date down, please, everyone.

HE GROANS

-Roland?

-He just died cos of the smell of the drains.

Rest in peace, Roly.

Now, come along, Roland. Get up.

BUZZING

Force of habit.

Tom wants us in the new base.

Who is it?

Sit anywhere.

There still aren't any chairs.

Stand anywhere.

Still obsessing over KORTEX?

It was a keyword that kept popping up on the MI9

system before we got fired. It's got to mean something.

-It's probably just some IT geek's nickname.

-So, what's the mission?

Please tell me it's not another missing pet.

-This one is straight from the UN.

-At last.

The Maltese delegate wants to know who's been parking in his space.

No way. That's worse than last week

when I had to walk the Princess of Burunia to nursery.

We're in a cupboard dealing with cats, cars and kindergarten.

-Do you not think it's time we give up and move on?

-A few more days.

-One decent mission and MI9 will have to take us back.

-Why?

Evelyn Baxter is already helping MI9 win the war against KORPS.

They don't need us any more.

I hate it too, Dan, but Tom and Keri are right. This is hopeless.

Fine. Pack it up.

Oh, Mr Flatley, has there been any word from the council

-about our replacement caretaker?

-Not yet.

In fact, while we're waiting, I thought

I might try and fix the drains myself.

You will not.

If we start fixing things ourselves,

they won't bother sending us a new caretaker.

-Leave...it...alone. Is that understood?

-Yes.

PHONE RINGS

BEEP

'This is a secure answerphone, please state your name

-'and the nature of the mission.'

-BEEP

'I need help. It concerns KORTEX.'

Talk to me.

You don't think Dan's taking this old school spying thing a bit

too far? I mean, cutting eye holes out of a newspaper?

That's from the caveman's book of espionage.

Hi, I'd like to get a balloon for my fake baby

and a reason why I'm wasting time in this park.

The contact wouldn't say more over the phone

but he has intel on KORTEX.

This could be the case we've been looking for.

Dan signalled stealth pattern zeta. No-one breaks cover.

I can't believe you're all here. I'm such a fan.

Dan, Tom, Aneisha and Keri. Amazing!

Don't take this the wrong way but shut up.

-You're going to blow our cover.

-Sorry.

It's just I've heard your voices so many times.

How have you heard our voices?

My name's Edward Lambsbottom. I'm a senior technician at GDHQ.

The Government's secret listening station?

Exactly.

We intercept e-mails and phone calls looking for national threats.

We even have a satellite that can focus in

and listen to conversations absolutely anywhere.

Yeah. I've heard of you.

Well, I did break the world record for the Kubrik Sphere in 1997.

No, I've seen your name on the reports.

You filter info about KORPS and the Crime Minister.

Yes. That's me. That's why I needed to see you.

I overheard the Crime Minister discussing a plan for KORTEX.

-So, KORTEX must be a part of KORPS.

-What was the plan?

-They're going to assassinate the Deputy Prime Minister.

-What?

-MI9 need to know about this.

-I know.

But my new boss Martin Strong won't pass on the information.

I actually saw him destroy the sound files.

That's crazy. That's exactly the kind of thing GDHQ are looking for.

I need to get the intel directly to MI9. But I don't have access.

Don't worry, Edward. We know exactly who to take this to.

Frank, I came as soon as I got...

Oh.

You do realise signing in ex-members of staff is a sackable offence.

You told me to call if I needed anything.

-Well, I need to you to listen to what they've got to say.

-All right.

Although I don't have long.

Apparently I'm spending the rest of the day beefing up security.

Edward Lambsbottom from GDHQ got in contact with us.

He has evidence that a branch of KORPS called KORTEX

is planning to assassinate the Deputy Prime Minister today.

What? PHONE RINGS

Sorry.

He's been trying to get the info to you

but it's been blocked by his boss, Martin Strong.

I'll investigate him for a start.

Any idea where the attack might take place?

I'll travel with her personally until we know.

No, Mr Flatley, the rubber end goes down the toilet.

Well, how did you get your arm stuck in the first place?

Thank you, all.

You may have just saved the Deputy Prime Minister's life.

If there's anything I can do...

Well, actually, we were hoping you might reinstate us.

We could investigate KORTEX.

I'm grateful for the intel, I really am, but...

..the decision to close MI High is out of my hands.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to need you all to stand down, permanently.

There must be something we can do. It can't end like this.

Well, it has. We are done.

-Oh, Aneisha.

-What have I done now?

-Nothing. I just wanted to say how proud of you I am.

-Why?

Your grades have improved dramatically in the past month.

I can only assume it's because you're happier at school.

Why would I be happy in a school that everyone hates?

Well, I don't think that's true.

The place is falling apart.

Mr Flatley is the only one doing anything about it.

This place is a dump and no-one cares.

Excuse me, I care.

I just don't think it should be our responsibility to fix it.

-HE SIGHS

-Well, he can't have gone far.

PHONE RINGS

-Hey, Edward.

-'Tom!'

-I sent your information to...

I haven't got much time.

-What's going on?

-I've cracked it. It's so much bigger.

KORTEX is only part of it. I have to be quick. They're coming to get me.

-Who's coming to get you?

-Martin Strong.

Listen, you need to know what's going on here. Their plan -

it's evil beyond imagining. But genius.

I have all I have all the proof in my files. It's in...

LINE GOES DEAD

Tom?

-Edward?

-Tom?

Hello, Edward.

-He's gone.

-They got him.

It's like he never existed.

No tax record, school reports, social media.

Yeah, but we know he does.

Book Of World Records. 1997.

Kubrik Sphere. Edward Lambsbottom.

He came to us for help and now he's gone missing.

I don't care if Hamish fired us, we've got to get Edward back.

Well, let's start with his boss.

OK, this is Martin Strong.

No, that's Mike Stern from the Matahari conspiracy.

No, this is definitely Martin Strong.

I found this on the GDHQ website.

No, I know disguises

-and I'm telling you Mike Stern is Martin Strong.

-It can't be.

-We put Mike Stern in the MI9 cells.

-They do look similar.

But how would he have got out?

This is a MI9's high security wing we are talking about.

The sooner we find out what's going on, the better chance

we've got of finding Edward in one piece.

Tom, we'll go to GDHQ and access Edward's files.

If we can work out why they took him, maybe we can find where.

-Keri, with me.

-Where are we going?

To find out what really happened to Mike Stern.

We're going to break into MI9.

GURGLING

Can I go in now, Mr Flatley?

Ah, erm, no. Sorry.

So, you decided not to wait for the professionals

and you've made things worse.

Surprise, surprise.

Yes, Mrs King.

I may have made things worse

but this is my school and, until we get help,

I will not stand idly by while it falls to pieces.

I would rather try and fail than not try at all.

GURGLING

I'm with you, Mrs King.

I'd rather do nothing at all, too.

Great minds think alike, eh?

Trust me, we don't need gadgets.

With the right suits you can get in anywhere.

Edward Lambsbottom.

The file should be on a central drive,

but can I access them from here?

According to the transcripts

KORPS are planning to finish off the Deputy Prime Minister

at this afternoon's government press conference.

Well, we better send Hamish a warning.

All messages between GDHQ and MI9 have been blocked.

What?! The agencies are supposed to work together!

I know, but right now one of us needs to get this message to Hamish.

And one of us needs to stay here and search Edward's files.

-Stay safe.

-You, too.

I guess Hamish was serious about beefing up security.

-A bit harsh, them not letting us in the building.

-Yeah!

Kind of makes you feel like a criminal.

This is Dan's cell.

-He's in there.

-Maybe.

No reaction.

Don't like it. Let's take a look inside.

RAPID BEEPING

Mr F.

The staff room doesn't have a paddling pool!

He's called Elite.

You'll just have to fix it yourself.

You see, the thing about hydro-sealed cell doors

is that they do not expect you to open them with a pen.

-He's gone.

-Initial was right.

Martin Strong and Mike Stern must be the same person,

and he's left a recording so it looks like he's still here.

Someone in MI9 must've helped him break out.

But who?

I don't know.

But I know someone who might.

LOUD METAL CLANG

Well, this is a nice surprise.

We don't have time for small talk, Stella. How did Mike Stern escape?

I didn't know he had.

Don't play games, I'm not in the mood.

You and Mike were both part of the Matahari conspiracy.

And now Mike's running GDHQ under a new identity.

He's doing what? How?!

We're hoping you could tell us.

Seeing as you're his accomplice.

I'd told you, I'm innocent.

The Matahari was a social club!

We have a ton of evidence saying it was using MI9 funds

-to carry out illegal missions.

-None of that is real.

Somebody framed me - I don't know who they are, or how,

but they have conned everyone.

Stella, give me a shred of evidence that you have been set up,

and I'll fight for you.

I have nothing.

Frank.

If I was in your position, I would do the same thing. You know me.

Look me in the eye, I didn't do this. Believe me.

SQUELCHING

You can't sit there all day!

We've got school maintenance to do.

-Mrs King?!

-Come on.

Tom, I'm at the press conference now.

I'm just looking for Hamish.

Hang on...

Martin Strong's here. Or should I say Mike Stern.

You don't think he's here to assassinate

the Deputy Prime Minister?

Get Hamish to arrest him.

Quick.

It's OK. Looks like he's already on to him.

-Actually...

-'What?'

It looks like they're friends.

'That's not possible. Hamish is who helped us arrest Stone,'

and Stella, and the other corrupt MI9 leaders.

'That's how he became head of MI9.'

Yeah.

Something's not right.

Tom, Edward said GDHQ has satellites

that can pick up conversations anywhere. Can you access it?

Already bringing it online, focusing it on the pressroom.

-MAN'S VOICE:

-Well, so far so good.

You don't think MI9 will cause us any problems?

Since I took over, it's pointless to think of KORTEX and MI9

as different organisations.

To all intents and purposes...

KORTEX is MI9.

Stone and Hamish must have worked together

to frame Stella and the others

and get Hamish the top job.

Hamish works for KORPS.

Now they're both at it. I think they've been replaced by aliens!

Them gloves is a fashion crime!

Won't catch me...daffodil hands.

OK, no homework for a week if you help.

Pass me the custard mittens, Mrs King, help is on its way!

Tom, we'd already concluded that Stella is innocent.

Took your time about it! I've been in prison for a month.

What?!

Hamish has been working for KORPS all along.

He and Mike Stern are part of the KORPS team called KORTEX.

He got rid of us when we got too close to the truth.

Hang on a minute.

It's got my old pass cards in it. I can use them to get here.

But it's alarmed!

ALARM SOUNDS

Wait... Look.

Edward's Kubrik Sphere. He's here.

But we don't have time to get him too!

KORPS only know about Edward because we told Hamish about him.

It is our fault he's here, we're not leaving without him.

There's been a security breach at MI9. I have to go.

You'll have to deal with the Deputy PM.

Tom! Stone's going to assassinate the Deputy Prime Minister!

Neish, you're her only chance.

BEEPING

You saved me! I knew you'd come.

It's right, we're a team!

OK, Edward. Time for the team to go.

Wait - I need to tell you why they arrested me.

We know - you found out that Hamish worked for KORPS.

No. I mean, yes!

But there's more.

It's about the Deputy Prime Minister.

I'm afraid it's time, Deputy Prime Minister.

Look out!

He's not who he says he is.

We're getting proof from GDHQ that he's an escaped criminal

called Mike Stern.

He's here to assassinate you.

What idiot gave you that idea?

What?!

I suppose, since you've damaged my disguise collar...

the cat's out the bag.

It's not possible.

Oh, but it is.

I AM the Deputy Prime Minister.

That's why she's been so successful in her war against crime.

Exactly. She's in charge of both sides.

Dan, there's no time for chatting - we need to get out of here.

It's OK, I've got an idea.

Tom, I'm going to need your help.

I can't take all the credit.

It was Hamish's idea to fire your team.

Must have been quite a blow.

I don't know.

Losing our gadgets meant we had more time to practise

the traditional spy skills.

I've become quite good at picking locks.

There.

You're ready.

Hold on...

did she say locks?

Don't let her get away!

Er, ladies and gentlemen, GDHQ boss Martin Strong has some very

important information about today's event.

ALL SHOUT

Where are they? ALARM BLARES

Get it open.

The fugitives are trapped.

Turn off the alarm.

Impossible.

I don't believe it.

They've used our own trick against us!

How did they hack the system?

Nice work, Tom. Couldn't have done it without you.

Now, get out of there.

I'll take Edward to the safe house.

Are you sure? I could help as a field agent on this one.

ALL: We're sure.

Oh.

Edward, you've already done enough.

You WERE the one who cracked the conspiracy.

I was, wasn't I?! Hah!

-OK, maybe a little quieter while we're escaping.

-Roger.

Do we say "roger" on missions?

I always thought we should.

Ah! Ha!

I can't tell you how proud I am.

We did it. We cleaned this school together.

We should do this every week. THEY GROAN

Worst day of my life!

Who does he think he is, man?

Just a suggestion.

Ah, Frank!

Come for your old job?

Sorry, Mr F...

-just picking up some stuff I left behind.

-Oh!

Never mind. Actually, we're, um...

We're managing rather well on our own.

I never doubted you, Mr F.

I'd better be going.

I'm in a bit of a hurry.

Ooh! Aneisha, do you have a moment?

OK, what I said about Mr Flatley being the only one that cares -

that was harsh.

No, don't apologise. You were right.

I can't believe I'm about to say this,

but there's a lot I could learn from Mr Flatley.

Sometimes it's not enough to say you care -

sometimes you have to show it.

I'll see you and your friends in class later.

Yeah. See you later.

Quicker!

KORPS will know our MI9 details by now - they'll know where we are.

I can't believe KORPS took aver MI9.

And now they'll be coming for us.

I never realised how much danger

we might be putting your friends in by being based here.

OK, that's it.

Let's go.

Sorry I'm late, Crime Minister. We have a situation.

It can wait.

First, the Deputy Prime Minister has an important announcement to make.

Dear friends, the Prime Minister has told me

today that he is stepping down.

I am proud to announce that in a ceremony tomorrow,

I will be sworn in as Prime Minister

of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

And you won't believe what exciting plans we have for the country.

There's no other way?

I'm afraid not.

Say goodbye to Saint Heart's.

We go into hiding?

Start fighting.

And we keep fighting, until the job's done, or we are.