Gloria Millie Inbetween


Gloria

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Transcript


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-Two daughters as promised.

-Mm-hm.

-DOORBELL KEEPS RINGING

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-Do you want me to take a look at that?

-No. I've got it.

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-Are you sure? Cos there's a wee knack to it.

-It's fine! I can do it!

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SLIPPER THUDS

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Mum's never been good at accepting help,

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especially from Dad.

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-Here, let me.

-Why? Do you think I can't do it myself?

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-SHE GRUNTS

-Right...

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-Who fancies takeaway?

-I'll order for you.

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-DOORBELL CONTINUES

-Up to you.

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THUD! DOORBELL STOPS

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I was just about to do that!

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CRAIG: You're welcome, Sharon!

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MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

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SHE SNIFFS

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What's the date?

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It's the 16th, isn't it?

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So you got any plans today, Mike?

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Of course. Today is a big day!

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Way Of The Tiger 2's coming out!

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And we've got tickets for the first screening!

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Come on, Craig-san.

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Something wrong?

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-Nah, nothing.

-OK.

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Just today's the anniversary of Mike and I getting together!

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Oh, guys, they forget everything.

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-Whoops.

-What whoops?

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I forgot. Great Aunt Gloria called.

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Gloria? What the...? What did she want?

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-Tuesday...?

-Tuesday? What about Tuesday?

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Lunch? I...

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No! She can't! What did you say?

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-Chill, I told her you were working.

-Oh, thank goodness!

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I mean, what a shame. I haven't seen Gloria for years.

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-It would've been really nice to catch up.

-Sunday!

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-Sunday? What about Sunday?

-Lunch. I said it was fine.

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-You did what?! That's today!

-Well, good thing I remembered, then.

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Well, why didn't you tell me?

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What's the big deal, Mum? You're cooking lunch anyway.

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It's not that, is it? It's just...

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I never told Gloria about your dad and I splitting up.

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Mum! Why?

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Well, it just never seemed like the right time.

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It'll be a relief to get that off your chest, then!

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Everything all right, Mum?

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Fine. Why?

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You're polishing a pot plant.

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Ah! It's nice and shiny now.

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Oh...

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I'm worried. What will Gloria say?

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She'll say, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you?"

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You don't know her like I do, Millie.

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She's determined to make me feel like a failure.

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I'm sure that's not true.

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When I was 16, I came second in a big dance competition.

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-She said I was the first loser.

-OK.

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-When I raised £90 for charity, she said...

-Shame it wasn't 100?

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-Shame it wasn't 1,000!

-Ouch!

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I know she'll make me feel like it was my fault the marriage failed.

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Just tell her the truth.

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-It was your dad's fault?

-No! It was no-one's fault.

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Well, she'll want it to be someone's fault,

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and preferably mine!

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Unless, well... I don't have to tell her!

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I could say...Tony's on holiday?

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Mum, if there's one thing you've taught me,

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it's that you should always be honest.

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I want a word with you.

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Me? What? Why? I haven't touched your mascara! Ha!

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You better not have!

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O...K!

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So, we've all told a few little white lies.

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But they're harmless, right?

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Wrong! Which Lauren should know better than anyone.

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HIGHLAND MUSIC PLAYS

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Do you like it? It's very dear to me. It belonged to my granny.

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I think it's pretty cool.

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The Highland Lassie look is on point right now.

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I thought, if you liked it, you could wear it to your prom.

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Poor old Lauren.

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Even when you lie with the best of intentions,

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it's still more hassle than it's worth.

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-I've got a plan to get Mum out of the fix with Gloria.

-Oh, no!

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-I need your help!

-Even more "oh, no!"

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You got Mum into this mess, you sort it out.

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-You don't even know what I'm going to say.

-I don't need to!

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It'll just be something stupid, like pretending we've all got

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-contagious diseases and the house has been quarantined.

-Don't be silly!

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Or there's an unexploded World War II bomb in the garden.

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That's even sillier! Actually, keep going...

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Or getting Dad to come round

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and pretend like he's still married to Mum.

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Brilliant, I knew you'd help me!

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Wait, what?!

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So, you need to come and pretend that you're still married to Mum.

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Er, no, thanks.

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16 years of the real thing was more than enough for me.

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-But, Dad, Gloria's really old - the shock might be too much for her.

-Ah!

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That old girl is as tough as nails.

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And your mum would never agree to it anyway.

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Actually, it was Mum's idea.

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-She said that she really needs your help.

-Did she?!

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-Mm-hm.

-Well, it's nice of her to finally admit it!

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-You should've seen her. She was practically begging.

-Oh!

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-I wish I had!

-It was sad.

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I can imagine!

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No, no, no. No, no, no, no.

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-Ha! I'm totally wearing more than you!

-Och!

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I win the "most clothes on" competition!

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No way! How many pairs of pants are you wearing?

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None!

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-Actually, Jake - you win!

-LAUGHTER

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-You are in there, aren't you, Jake?

-Yup!

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Oh, we are not worthy!

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Aw, right, what are we going to do now?

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I know - let's eat our lunch blindfolded!

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-I was thinking we might go out?

-Even better! I've got a great idea -

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let's go swimming with penguins!

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Actually, I was thinking just me, Fran and Jake.

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-Oh, right.

-You don't mind, do you?

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It's just it's been so long since it was just the three of us.

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Of course not, no, no, you should definitely do that.

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Like you say, it'll be good to spend some time without me.

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And it's perfect, cos I've got my own plans.

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Oh? What are they?

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-He's having lunch at ours!

-Aye, that's right.

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Yeah.

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DOORBELL KEEPS RINGING

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-Gloria!

-You should get Tony to look at that.

-Oh, there's no need.

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DOORBELL STOPS Lovely to see you again, Sharon.

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-Goodness, you are looking well.

-Thank you - you too.

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You've hardly got any wrinkles.

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So, how was your journey?

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Terrible. I don't know why you insist on living so far away.

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Oh, not there, dear - I don't want a banister bump.

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Put it on a hanger.

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So, how's Tony?

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It's funny you should ask that.

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Actually, it's very funny, cos, you see, the thing is, Tony is in the...

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..the kitchen!

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What are you doing here? I mean, really, what are you doing?

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Just making a start on the spuds, love. Why, what's it look like?

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I genuinely have no idea!

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It's good to see you again, Gloria. Here, let me hang up your coat.

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-On a hanger - don't want to get a banister bump!

-No!

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SHE LAUGHS

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-Er...cup of tea?

-Oh, that would be lovely!

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I was wondering when anyone was going to offer.

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I've brought you your favourites - Turkish delight!

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Aw! Mmm!

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-WITH MOUTH FULL:

-You spoil me!

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-Hiya, Gloria!

-Oh, hello, dear.

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Oh, goodness - someone's been let run wild.

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Could you, um, excuse us for a second?

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I just need to ask Tony about the, er, the doorbell.

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I knew you'd want me to fix it eventually.

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This isn't about the doorbell! What are you doing here?

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It's fine. Lauren explained everything.

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-You can thank me later.

-Thank you?!

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I know it's hard for you to ask for my help,

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but don't worry, I've got this under control.

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I can't think where you get those cheekbones.

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-Gloria, there's something I have to tell you.

-Mmm?

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Tony and I have...

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-We've...

-Yes?

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-The truth is...

-They've decided to renew their wedding vows!

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Oh? How modern!

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To be honest, I wondered if you'd make a go of it.

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Must be the first time you've managed to stick at anything in your life!

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So well done, you!

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-Thanks.

-So many marriages don't last these days.

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-So true!

-And when you look at your history!

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How long were you at your first job? Two weeks, wasn't it?

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-Three days.

-Mmm!

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And then there was that pet shop apprenticeship she dropped out of.

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What was it? Allergic to gerbils!

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-THEY LAUGH

-Yes, well, I had to quit!

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-Nobody wants to buy a pet off someone that's wheezing.

-Well...

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And, you know, well, maybe I've changed, because, well...

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We are still oh so together.

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Oh!

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-Aren't we, Tone?

-Aw, couldn't be happier!

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Lovely to see you looking so happy together.

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Either I've time travelled or you've done something stupid.

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I snuck Dad in through the back door.

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-Have we had a Dad-flap installed?

-Isn't it great that he's here?

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-No! This was a terrible plan.

-This was YOUR plan.

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CHATTER FROM KITCHEN

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Anyway, it's nice to have the family together again, isn't it?

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No. It's way too weird and it's bound to go wrong. Mum and Dad

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can't stay in the same room for five minutes without arguing.

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They're not doing too badly now, though, are they?

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I make that nearly seven argument-free minutes. New PB.

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It's not right. Someone has to tell Gloria the truth.

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Be my guest.

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That's what I thought.

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So, now, we're going to stick to the "lying our heads off" plan.

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She's going to regret it!

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-So, what shall we do?

-Go-karting!

-No way.

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-The helmets make my hair stink.

-And last time, you tinkered

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-with the engine.

-You're the one that taught me mechanics.

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I want to swim with penguins.

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-Let's call Tony.

-No!

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What I mean is - what would you say to tickets

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to the premier of Way Of The Tiger 2?

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-No way!

-Really? Yes!

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See? Tony's not the only one that can surprise you!

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SHE LAUGHS

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Awesome!

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So, um, how's Uncle Graham?

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Oh, his usual self, off playing golf.

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Can't think why he wants to get out of the house so much.

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Oh! Who are they, Millie?

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That's Craig. He's...

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That's Lauren's boyfriend.

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Boyfriend?! Lauren, you are growing up.

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Boyfriend's a bit strong.

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I'd say he's more of a friend.

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In fact, even that's a bit strong.

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But you keep his photo on the mantelpiece?

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Hmm. And who's that?

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That's Mike - he's Mum's brother-in-law!

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That's, er, Tony's brother. Uncle Mike.

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Oh, yes. We met at the wedding.

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But he looks different.

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Aye, he's let himself go a bit since then.

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Hmm. I was thinking he'd lost weight.

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And had hair implants?

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He's very handsome now! Hee-hee!

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I'll just, er...

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..check on lunch!

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Oh, I hope you're not going to any trouble on my account.

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Oh, no! No, it's just the usual.

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Oh...pity.

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SHE GULPS

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Right, Tony's left me a new key.

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-He locked himself out in his dressing gown!

-Ha!

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Tony! Skills!

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-It was right here.

-Oh. I used it as a sword for my robot.

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Right, so where is it?

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-Really?

-OK. Let's retrace your steps.

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-So, I got up in the morning...

-Mm-hm?

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Oh! ..and then I put on my pants.

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And did you have it with you then?

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No.

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What did I say?

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You start off with one lie and before you know it you've got three.

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And the problem with lies is

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they have a habit of coming back and biting you on the bum.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Oh! You look a picture!

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I can't wait to see your friends' faces when you walk into the prom.

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Yeah, let's hope there isn't a freak earthquake or something.

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And guess what - I'm going to pipe you into school!

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TUNELESS PIPING OF Amazing Grace

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And Mum's in for one heck of a bum bite.

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-Pass me that oven dish.

-You're making a big mistake.

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-Why? Do you think I should use the baking tray?

-No!

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I mean you have to tell Gloria about you and Dad.

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Yeah, I will, eventually.

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Preferably in a letter. Or a message in a bottle.

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Tell her before it goes too far.

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It's already gone too far! This is what too far looks like!

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Now I'm married to your dad again, Mike's his brother

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and Lauren's dating Craig.

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But that's it - no more dishonesty!

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Right, does that look like I made it?

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Do you want an honest answer to that?

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Only if it's the right one.

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Fine. Then you're on your own.

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Tell Gloria I've got some homework to do.

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Oh, no. This is a family lunch and you're going to be there.

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And if I find you telling the truth...

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you'll be in trouble.

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SHE SIGHS

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-So, I was playing with it in the kitchen.

-And then?

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-Oh, I made a jam and ham sandwich.

-OK. You jam, you ham. Go, go!

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Er...

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Oh, look, got him!

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Check in the secret compartment.

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-Cheese.

-Robie likes cheese. Where did you put the key, Robie?

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OK...this is happening.

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Aw, it smells great. I've really missed your Sunday roasts, Shaz.

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I mean, it's been a whole week since the last one!

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That looks lovely, Sharon.

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Bit dry, maybe.

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-Oh, I think the head of the house should carve, don't you?

-Yeah.

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Oh, aye! Er, that'd be me.

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Make sure the slices are nice and thin.

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Yes, he does do them too thick.

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Make them nice and thin, Tony.

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Certainly, Sharon.

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Happy anniversary! LOUD GASPS

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Uh-oh! Looks like the chickens have come home to roost!

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-Anniversary? What...?

-Aye, er...

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-Surprise!

-Hey!

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-Tony! This is a genuine surprise!

-You're not kidding!

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Happy anniversary, love.

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-Hang on a minute...

-Gloria, you remember my brother Mike,

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the one who's let himself go? Thanks for helping us out, bro!

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HE KICKS HIM

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-Nobody move. I'll get my camera!

-SHE GIGGLES

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-You're supposed to be at the movies!

-So you could do what?

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I'm sorry! Gloria's my aunt.

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I haven't told her that Tony and I split up.

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She's got a bad heart - the shock might kill her.

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So we're pretending we're still together.

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You won't say anything, will you?

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I can't lie, Sharon - it's bad for my karma.

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Finally, someone sensible!

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You don't have to lie.

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-Just don't tell her the truth.

-I wouldn't know where to begin!

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Here we go. Now...

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Cuddle up close, just the two of you.

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Um...

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-Oh, you mean...? Sorry! With Tony?

-Yes!

-My husband!

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Right, of course!

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Thanks for these...Tony.

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I thought you'd forgotten. I underestimated you.

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Aye, well, there's nothing new.

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Lovely!

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-Will you be joining us, Mike?

-Er, no, no, he's got to go.

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Thank you! Yes, I will.

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But I thought you had to go to that...thing at...a place.

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No, no, it's all fine.

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Good!

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-Are you married, Mike?

-Now, that's an interesting question.

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-And what's the answer?

-He's seeing a really super lady.

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Can we just eat, before anything else happens?

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Sorry I'm late.

0:17:360:17:38

SHE SIGHS Look! It's chicken number two!

0:17:380:17:40

Oh, Lauren's boyfriend!

0:17:400:17:43

Eh?!

0:17:430:17:44

Heard all about you!

0:17:440:17:46

-Hi.

-Hey, get off! What are you doing?

0:17:460:17:48

Oh, Craig, you're not still mad with me, are you?

0:17:480:17:51

We're just going to go have a little chat in private.

0:17:510:17:55

-Little tiff, eh?

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

0:17:550:17:57

-I don't get it.

-How many times?! Look, it's very simple.

0:17:590:18:03

Mum and Dad are pretending to be married.

0:18:030:18:05

Mike is Dad's brother. You're my boyfriend.

0:18:050:18:07

What's not to get?

0:18:070:18:09

-I always knew you fancied me.

-Don't be gross.

0:18:090:18:12

Eugh! You're going to have to leave. We're breaking up.

0:18:120:18:16

I can't believe you're breaking up with me!

0:18:180:18:20

And on Mum and Dad's anniversary! Just go!

0:18:200:18:23

Oh, roast chicken - sweet!

0:18:250:18:26

But you're breaking up with me - that means that you can't stay.

0:18:260:18:29

No, it's all right - you're forgiven.

0:18:290:18:31

Well, in that case, I'M breaking up with YOU!

0:18:310:18:34

Nuh-uh! You could never break up with me.

0:18:340:18:37

Oh, pass the pepper, Da...

0:18:370:18:38

..Uncle...Mike.

0:18:400:18:42

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

0:18:430:18:45

Where am I supposed to sit?

0:18:450:18:46

I'm sure Craig won't mind if you sit on his lap, now that you've made up.

0:18:460:18:50

Like two little lovebirds.

0:18:500:18:52

I'm afraid I wasn't expecting this many people,

0:18:520:18:54

so the portions might be rather small.

0:18:540:18:56

Well, I did think we might have been going out.

0:18:580:19:01

You don't mind, do you, Tony?

0:19:010:19:03

-You are on a diet.

-Aw...

0:19:030:19:05

Here's to 18 years of happy marriage.

0:19:060:19:10

Is that all? It feels so much longer.

0:19:100:19:14

Ha! Cheers!

0:19:140:19:15

EVERYONE: Cheers!

0:19:150:19:17

No, it's not in there.

0:19:190:19:21

BOTH: Eugh!

0:19:210:19:22

So where next, Jake, on the magical mystery tour?

0:19:220:19:25

My moon base!

0:19:270:19:28

We're never going to make it.

0:19:310:19:33

-RATTLING

-Um, what was that?

0:19:330:19:36

It was in your trousers! It's gone behind the radiator!

0:19:360:19:39

Agh, if only I had smaller hands.

0:19:390:19:41

Jake... JAKE SIGHS

0:19:430:19:45

Quick, quick, quick!

0:19:460:19:48

-Got it.

-Agh! Go, go, go, go, go!

0:19:500:19:52

Mmm!

0:19:540:19:56

Now, this IS good, Sharon, best part of the meal.

0:19:560:19:59

You must give me your recipe.

0:19:590:20:00

SHE COUGHS

0:20:000:20:02

-My-my recipe?

-Mm-hm!

-Yeah, no problem.

0:20:020:20:05

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Ooh! Sorry!

0:20:050:20:06

Oh, it's Graham. Would you excuse me?

0:20:080:20:11

Oh, my top smells like Craig! Now I'm going to have to burn it.

0:20:120:20:16

Dried whey and mechanically recovered chocolate fragments?

0:20:180:20:21

Well, this is one anniversary you won't forget in a hurry.

0:20:210:20:25

I'm so sorry about this, Mike.

0:20:250:20:26

Why don't you just tell her? She seems reasonable enough.

0:20:260:20:29

I can't. Not after we've been brazenly lying to her face.

0:20:290:20:32

Chill, will you? She'll be gone soon.

0:20:320:20:34

You just need to keep it up for another half an hour.

0:20:340:20:36

-I want danger money.

-Shut it, you!

0:20:360:20:38

30 minutes. But that's it. This is not what I agreed to.

0:20:380:20:42

Graham was just wondering when I'd be back.

0:20:420:20:45

Listen, I've got a long journey ahead of me

0:20:450:20:48

and I don't want to be driving home in the dark.

0:20:480:20:50

Well, it's been really lovely to see you, Gloria.

0:20:500:20:52

So I thought it would be best if I stayed the night.

0:20:520:20:55

It's really delicious.

0:20:590:21:01

-I can't find my shoes. Shall I put these on?

-No!

0:21:020:21:05

Trainers are in the hall. Go!

0:21:050:21:07

-We're going to miss it!

-Over my dead body! Come on!

0:21:070:21:10

-Tickets!

-Oh!

0:21:110:21:13

OK! OK...

0:21:140:21:15

Now everyone slow down or else we'll have an a...

0:21:150:21:17

THUD!

0:21:170:21:19

..ccident!

0:21:190:21:20

Turkish delight?

0:21:200:21:22

Here's the cheesecake recipe.

0:21:220:21:24

-Don't share it around, cos that's a family secret.

-Ooh!

0:21:240:21:29

Oh, now where are my glasses?

0:21:290:21:31

-(I am not stopping the night.

-You can sleep on the floor!)

0:21:310:21:35

Sorry, II just remembered.

0:21:350:21:37

I've got an important electricians' conference tomorrow

0:21:370:21:40

down in...Sparkhampton... and so I have to set off now.

0:21:400:21:45

-That's next week, Tony.

-Er, no, no, it's definitely tomorrow.

0:21:450:21:48

Are you sure? Are you sure it's not next week?

0:21:480:21:51

Er, er, let me check.

0:21:510:21:52

Aye - tomorrow it is.

0:21:570:21:59

Perhaps I'd better just go and powder my nose.

0:22:010:22:04

-What do you think you're playing at?

-It's over. I want a divorce, again!

0:22:060:22:09

You're always trying to fix things that aren't broken by breaking them!

0:22:090:22:12

Why don't we just take a breather? Everyone stay calm.

0:22:120:22:15

A composed and level mentality.

0:22:150:22:17

Oh, shut up!

0:22:170:22:19

No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be like.

0:22:190:22:21

That's what it was like.

0:22:210:22:23

Anything else is just a fantasy world.

0:22:230:22:26

Someone has to tell Gloria the truth.

0:22:270:22:29

Yeah - you!

0:22:290:22:31

I can't just go blurting out about Mum and Dad's divorce.

0:22:310:22:34

I can see I'm going to have to knock some heads together.

0:22:360:22:39

Gloria! What a definitely unplanned surprise.

0:22:440:22:48

I hope I haven't caused problems by staying.

0:22:480:22:51

Mum's just stressed.

0:22:510:22:53

You see - I probably shouldn't be telling you this -

0:22:530:22:57

but she's been lying to you.

0:22:570:22:59

Lying? What about?

0:22:590:23:02

Well...

0:23:020:23:04

You just can't admit you needed help.

0:23:040:23:06

This is my fault. I never should have lied.

0:23:060:23:08

It's OK, Sharon. Millie's told me all about it.

0:23:080:23:12

Sorry - someone had to.

0:23:120:23:14

I don't know what to say.

0:23:140:23:16

-You must think we're awful.

-We?

0:23:160:23:18

Forget it - it's not that big a deal.

0:23:180:23:21

See? I told you she'd understand.

0:23:210:23:23

I should have said something when you first arrived.

0:23:230:23:26

But then Tony showed up

0:23:260:23:27

-and started acting like we were still married...

-Hmm?

0:23:270:23:30

Oh, I don't know - I guess it just seemed easier

0:23:300:23:32

than telling you about the divorce.

0:23:320:23:34

-Divorce?

-Then Mike showed up with flowers

0:23:340:23:36

and I got so tangled up, I didn't know what else to do!

0:23:360:23:39

And Craig is actually my son.

0:23:390:23:41

And I hate Turkish delight.

0:23:410:23:43

We've been so stupid!

0:23:430:23:46

What must you think?

0:23:460:23:48

Well, at least now it's all out in the open, eh?

0:23:480:23:51

-Gloria?

-Millie told me...

0:23:540:23:57

about the pudding.

0:23:570:23:58

Honestly, it's fine - it's just a sprain.

0:24:050:24:08

-Are you sure?

-I am a medically-trained midwife!

0:24:080:24:10

-It's not a baby, it's an ankle!

-Mmm.

0:24:100:24:14

It's fine... Argh!

0:24:140:24:16

Yeah, that definitely sounds fine to me(!)

0:24:160:24:19

It's OK, Mum. We've missed it now.

0:24:190:24:21

Oh, I'm sorry.

0:24:210:24:25

I just...I wanted to prove that I was fun too, you know?

0:24:250:24:29

Ever since Tony came along, he's been the exciting one with the fun ideas

0:24:290:24:33

and I'm just the boring old parent with the boring old ideas.

0:24:330:24:36

Mum...

0:24:360:24:39

Tony's fun, but he's just the icing on the cake.

0:24:390:24:42

Yeah, Mum - you're the cake!

0:24:420:24:44

Aw, you two!

0:24:440:24:46

But why on earth would she lie about getting divorced?

0:24:510:24:55

She's got it into her head that you think she's a failure.

0:24:550:24:58

What? Oh, what nonsense! Honestly, that's typical of Sharon!

0:24:580:25:01

She never gets anything right!

0:25:010:25:02

-I rest my case.

-What?

0:25:020:25:04

Oh. Well, perhaps I am a bit hard on her,

0:25:040:25:07

but it's only because I want her to do well.

0:25:070:25:09

Maybe you should tell her that.

0:25:090:25:10

Hmm.

0:25:100:25:11

Oh, Sharon!

0:25:140:25:17

You didn't have to make things up to impress me.

0:25:170:25:20

I don't think you're a failure!

0:25:200:25:22

Oh, thank you.

0:25:220:25:25

You've no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that.

0:25:250:25:28

In fact, there's something I'VE been meaning to tell YOU.

0:25:280:25:31

Graham and I got divorced.

0:25:330:25:36

-But we're still friends too.

-Sorry.

0:25:360:25:39

When?!

0:25:390:25:40

Two years ago.

0:25:400:25:42

-Two years ago?!

-Mm-hm.

-Why didn't you tell me?

0:25:420:25:46

Well, it's not that easy, is it?

0:25:460:25:48

Well, you two must have a lot to talk about.

0:25:480:25:50

There's just one thing I still don't understand.

0:25:520:25:55

Isn't Tony upset that you're dating his brother?

0:25:550:25:58

Oh...

0:25:580:26:01

-Hi!

-TONY SIGHS

0:26:010:26:03

-Good outing?

-We didn't even leave the flat.

0:26:030:26:07

Er, long story.

0:26:070:26:08

-How was lunch?

-Let's just say that I'm starving.

0:26:080:26:12

What about we buy a mountain of fish and chips,

0:26:120:26:15

drive up to the view and stuff our faces in the car?

0:26:150:26:19

-MUM LAUGHS

-Yeah!

0:26:190:26:20

Looks like a good night for UFO spotting.

0:26:200:26:22

You'll have to carry me, but...sounds good.

0:26:220:26:25

To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right.

0:26:260:26:29

And jump! And jump! That's it, Gloria! Keep those knees up!

0:26:290:26:32

Seeing Mum and Dad together has made me realise what ace parents they are.

0:26:320:26:37

When they're apart!

0:26:370:26:39

I think I might start going to the gym.

0:26:390:26:42

-Maybe I can bag a personal trainer toy boy for myself!

-Oh?

0:26:420:26:46

Jokes!

0:26:460:26:47

Craigie has to go home now.

0:26:490:26:51

Yeah. I'm sorry about that. Thank you very much for the lunch.

0:26:510:26:54

It's all right, mate, you don't have to...

0:26:540:26:56

Gloria wanted to get a photo of you two together to show her friends.

0:26:560:27:00

-No, no. I really don't think...

-Oh, come on, Craig - give her a hug.

0:27:020:27:07

CAMERA CLICKS

0:27:070:27:08

Oh, a bit closer! I can't quite fit you both in.

0:27:080:27:11

That's it! Now, give her a nice big kiss.

0:27:120:27:15

CAMERA CLICKS

0:27:150:27:17

-Come on!

-O...K.

0:27:170:27:19

So you should always try and tell the truth.

0:27:190:27:22

But sometimes, it's seriously tricky.

0:27:220:27:24

Marvellous!

0:27:250:27:27

I'll let them know in the end.

0:27:270:27:29

But this is too good an opportunity to miss.

0:27:290:27:32

Do you like Turkish delight, Mike?

0:27:320:27:35

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