Dad's New Flat Millie Inbetween


Dad's New Flat

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Best job ever.

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I'm a bubble wrap fiend.

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I'm allowed one pop per mug.

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BUBBLE WRAP POPS

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So, guess what.

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Dad's moving.

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Oh, you're not bringing this old thing.

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I'll have you know this is a...

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Oh, what's the word?

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It begins with an H.

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-Hideous?

-Heirloom.

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We're not moving far. In fact,

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we're not even leaving the building, but the new flat

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is bigger and WAY cooler.

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It's a fresh, new start and I'm so excited, I feel like I'm about to...

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Bubble wrap! Why didn't you tell me?

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Honestly, you're such a big kid.

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Who nicked my bubble wrap?

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Right, come here, you.

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We'll miss this flat, but something had to give,

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what with Amber's lot AND me and Lauren.

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We were stuffed in like a pile of moody hamsters.

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Oh.

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It's all gone.

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-And that's my seat.

-We eat in shifts, remember?

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Yes, so shift.

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Jake had to sit on the bin, but Dad made us emergency pancakes.

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We love his pancakes and he's not exactly stingy with syrup.

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Guess what, guess what?

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Mrs McLeish is moving into sheltered accommodation.

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Yay.

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-Great.

-So...her flat's for rent.

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And it's got three bedrooms.

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ALL: Yes!

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LINE RINGS

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So, Dad rang up and he got it.

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Now, we're off without a backward look.

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Come on, Millie. We're going to miss the big moment.

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What have you GOT in here?

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Books. And my book shelves.

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-Oi-oi.

-Hey, hey, should score, must score.

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Scores. Goal!

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Oh, can you actually see the ball on that teeny-weeny screen?

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-Hello.

-This is Trey.

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-All right?

-Yes, thanks, Trey.

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Oh, anyone fancy a biccie?

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Biccie?

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Biccie? Don't be embarrassing, yeah? We're not FIVE.

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-Hell, Bro.

-Safe.

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The magic moment!

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Hurry up!

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Wait, wait, wait!

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-Carry her in.

-You're right, pal.

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Come on now, come on.

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-Come on.

-I hate this.

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SHE SHRIEKS, HE GROANS

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-Oh! OK.

-Whoa!

-Ew...

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I know, the carpet does make you feel a bit sick.

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Looks like somebody already has been.

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-You're a fine one to talk about carpets.

-Come on.

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Cool living room.

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Wow, it has a kitchen.

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We started redecorating.

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I've got zones and themes.

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And I've got paint and a brush.

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Wow, loving this room.

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There's more rooms.

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-This is so me.

-Oh, this is the master bedroom, sweetheart, sorry.

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For the master!

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-But I'll share it with you.

-Oh, come on, there's two more bedrooms.

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Go.

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Whoa, look at this.

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Someone call 999 design.

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Hello? They could have at least waited for us.

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-Cool room.

-Come on.

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-Come on.

-I'm coming.

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You've got a lot of stuff to carry, Millie.

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What lucky boy gets this room?

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This is great. Our first place together as a proper family.

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Oh, come on.

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Oh, hi, you two.

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-What do you reckon?

-It's lush.

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Bagsy this chest.

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Don't start with the bagsys.

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You can't undo a bagsy.

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Hang on, what about me?

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I'm too old to share with a boy any more.

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He's not a boy, he's just Jake.

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They're only here half the time. They can share with him.

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Hello, have you in fact literally lost your mind?

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Bagsy the other bedroom!

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This could get tricky without a plan.

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Please tell me you have a plan?

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Of course. We'll let them decide.

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-I get to go first.

-We need a window at night!

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Oh, what are you? A bat?

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We're all one family now.

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We'll just let them figure it out.

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Kids have a natural sense of fair play.

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-I want my privacy.

-Go smell.

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HE EXHALES

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RELAXING MUSIC PLAYS

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-What're you doing?

-I am meditating.

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It is mentally cleansing.

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As Buddha says, this is spiritual, under your spell,

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phenomenal, the way you make me feel.

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Hey, wasn't that Katy Perry?

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Not...that I listen to her.

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Well, we want to watch TV, so...

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No sweat.

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I shall find somewhere else.

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Oh, wavy garms.

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-Is that your dad, Bro?

-Him?

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No, no.

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He's the lodger.

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Oh, son, I signed that permission slip.

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-It's in your school bag.

-Thank you very much...

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for doing that... while my dad's away.

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-What have you been doing?

-Nothing!

-Fran, be reasonable!

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One for us, one for you guys.

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-That's fair.

-No, Jake eats crisps on my bed.

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I have to change in the bathroom and he calls me Fran Pants.

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Oh!

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She's being so stubborn!

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I mean, it's obvious you and I should share a room,

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but we just have to wait until...

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-What are you doing?

-Unpacking.

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Watch the door. We have to establish ownership.

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Oh...

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Looks like we just got owned.

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I'm just going to say it.

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Do you get the feeling like this is a new start,

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-but...for them?

-What? No.

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Look, it's bad enough I have to share with you but why should I

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share with her as well? She's got her own annoying sibling.

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Maybe we should just talk to her about it.

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I say we get Dad to stick up for us, because if he won't, who will? Hm?

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Thanks, Tony, my room is amazing.

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Oh, your room. So you've decided between yourselves, then.

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-That's great.

-His room?

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Dad, can you just tell them?

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We're sharing one room and they can have the other one.

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You've talked to them about it, right?

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No, we thought you'd back us up.

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I don't think it's fair to take sides, love.

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It's much better if you sort it out yourselves.

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Not take sides?

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He's our DAD.

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So what do we do now?

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The way I see it, we're like the two Cinderellas in that fairy tale.

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There's only one Cinderella.

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Whatever. I mean, they're the new family and we're in the way.

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But Dad wouldn't just choose...

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It's Cinderella all over again. Who does he choose?

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The goose that lays the golden egg or the ugly ducklings?

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Wow, that fairy tale really does have everything.

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Shush. Go, go.

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-Got ya!

-Oh, you freak.

-Get out!

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Oh, we need to do something.

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-Like what?

-I don't know, you're the ideas person.

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But we can't just make Dad choose.

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Why not?

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Because he may choose to side with them.

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Oh.

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Would it help if I lie on the living room floor and freak out?

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-Let's make that Plan B.

-So what is Plan A?

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Girls, are you OK in there?

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Won't be a minute.

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Hello, we need to hurry.

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OK, look, does it really matter where we sleep?

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I am not sleeping in the bathtub, if that's what you were thinking.

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So let's just sleep full-time at Mum's.

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What? And give up altogether?

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No, we're not giving up.

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Dad wants us to sort this out for ourselves, right?

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Well, we are. We're taking control.

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Millie, that...is...genius.

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Well, I don't like to boast, but...

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We take control, threaten to leave and then force Dad to choose us!

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You are ruthless, girl!

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No, that's not what I said.

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OK, that was not the plan, but I guess it MIGHT work.

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-Hiya.

-Hiya. Only me.

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I brought the tea tray(!)

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Tea, Trey, tea, Trey.

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Eh? Trey!

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What are you DOING?

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Well, I've come to have a cuppa with...

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It's OK, really.

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Listen, how about you get back to

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your meditating, seeing as you're still rocking those weird trousers?

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Craig said my trousers are weird.

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To be fair, he has got a point.

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Are you saying my loose-fitting yogic loons are...

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Embarrassing, yes.

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Why are you so pleased?

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For a second there, I thought it was me.

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Oh, I remember this.

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Oh, not that old thing.

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My theme for this zone is called Vibes, not '70s Motel.

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-Well, where shall I put it, then?

-Don't tempt me.

-Cheeky.

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Hey, you two. You off somewhere?

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Hey, Dad, we've got this whole bedroom thing sussed.

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Oh, you have? That's great.

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Yes, the plan is Millie's.

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Erm, yeah...

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We've decided to sleep at Mum's, full-time.

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-At Mum's?

-That way there's room for everyone, including Princess Fran.

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But there's bags of room here. I'm sure we can work out a way.

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Such as?

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Well... Um...

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-Fran?

-I'm not sharing with Jake.

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I'm having my own room.

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OK, so...

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Look, Dad - look, it's fine.

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We'll still come here all the time.

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You'll hardly notice we're gone.

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Of course I'll notice.

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If that's what you really want.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it is.

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I don't get it. When are they coming back?

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I don't know, Jake. Let's just wait and see, hey?

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What are you two trying to pull?

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We're just being reasonable, because someone had to be.

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And let's face it, it wasn't going to be you, Fran Pants.

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What just happened?

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-Dad was meant to talk us out of it.

-Well, he didn't, did he?

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-So what now?

-We go back to Mum's and just get on with it.

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Maybe it'll be all right, you know,

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like when Cinderella moved in with the seven dwarfs.

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Yo, big C.

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Hiya, sorry about before.

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You must've thought, "Craig's old man's a bit weird".

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I'm just a regular guy with weird trousers.

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So, are you coming along later, then?

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-Er, coming where?

-Oh, didn't Craig mention it?

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We go bird spotting on Saturdays.

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His first time out, he bagged two wagtails and a tree creeper.

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Dad! Trey, I went there the once and you swore you wouldn't tell anyone.

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I'm proud of you, son.

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No lie, Bro, he's a born twitcher.

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It's not my trousers, it's me, isn't it?

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-I embarrass him.

-So?

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I've been embarrassing my girls for years. Learn to enjoy it.

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But Craig and me, we're mates!

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Newsflash, they find new mates.

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Seriously, don't worry... Best thing to do is just leave him alone.

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-Well, how long for?

-About...ten years should do it.

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Well, isn't THIS nice?

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-If you think about it...

-I tried that, I didn't like it.

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It's good we don't have to keep going back and forth.

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You know how stressed you get when you forget your blanky.

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I don't know what you're talking about. Where is my blanky?

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Oh!

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I don't believe it. My blanky!

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OK, it's not a big deal.

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It just helps me sleep, all right, even when I'm in the wrong bed.

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OK, so it's not ideal, but I had to come up with something and I think

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we're being very mature, so,

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everyone here took the news pretty well,

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more or less.

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Well, of course you can sleep here full-time.

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-This is your home.

-No, you can't!

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There's enough hairballs in the shower as it is.

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-Craig!

-You can't just spring this on me.

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I'm not psychologically prepared.

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Well, next time we'll arrange... counselling!

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Except Craig, but he'll get used to it.

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Yo! So my mate's coming over tomorrow,

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which means you two can go out and stay out.

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Actually, I think I was going to

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invite my friends over for a soapathon.

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What?

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No, this is my time.

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When I get a break from my girlie oppressors.

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Oi!

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Lauren.

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Lauren! Stop!

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Lauren! This is not over!

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SHE WHIMPERS

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SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

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It makes me feel secure.

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This rug has seen me through some dark times.

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How did getting a bigger place mean we can't all be together?

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You did say they should sort it out for themselves.

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Why didn't you stop me?

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Clearly it's a stupid idea, and now my girls have gone.

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You could always call them and ask them to come back.

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Oh, no, I don't have to like their choice, but I have to respect it.

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There's just girls' stuff everywhere.

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Oh, bombshell. I wonder what happened there.

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Well, keeping two families happy

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is like spinning plates, and spinning plates is not

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one of Tony's strong points.

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Well, he's managed OK till now.

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Oh, it looked that way, didn't it?

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But who has to clear up after him

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when they get back from the flat of anarchy? No, it's better this way.

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You know, I can look after them properly.

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Make sure they get their veggies in, you know, get to bed early,

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keep their room tidy.

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All right, so Dad doesn't exactly crack the whip.

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I don't think he even knows what a whip is.

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You two still up?

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What time is it?

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I'm not going to lie, Dad, it's late.

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I'm hungry. Who fancies pancakes?

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-BOTH:

-Me!

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Which IS kind of fun.

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No, Mum's right, we're better off here.

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What? I couldn't find the spoons.

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We need to get organised.

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Millie's the organiser, but they don't like us any more.

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Who? Millie and Lauren? You don't really think that, do you?

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They left, didn't they? I thought they cared about us

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more than some stupid room. Guess I was wrong.

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POPPING

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Oh, I'm sitting on bubble wrap.

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Guess what?

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I made pancakes.

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Oh, yum! I'm going to put Kale Crunchies on mine.

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-What's up?

-I miss Dad's pancakes.

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These are all healthy or something.

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-Let's go there after.

-No, I want them in my pyjamas.

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They don't taste the same once you have to get dressed.

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And that's in no way unreasonable?

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Oh, girls, remember, you two are going out.

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No, we're not.

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Remind me why this was such a great idea.

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Because we are in control.

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Yeah, right.

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Craig? Craig.

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Maybe I could take you and Trey go-karting later, if you want.

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No, thanks, mate. See, this is the Bro zone

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and the girls here are going out.

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Have fun!

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SHE ROARS

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So it looks like we're not welcome here, either.

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Craig's shoving us out and Lauren's blaming me.

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Great.

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Well, at least Mike's still happy.

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Craig never says no to go-karting.

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I've lost him, Millie.

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I'm going round to Dad's.

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Who knows, maybe he's missing us.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello.

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Hey!

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-Millie's on her way up.

-OK.

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Remember, respect her choice.

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OK, remember, don't make him choose.

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Millie. This is a nice surprise.

0:19:350:19:37

Told you we'd be round all the time.

0:19:370:19:39

-Liking the colour.

-Ah, well, it's starting to come together,

0:19:390:19:42

-now we got rid of one or two of our old things.

-Old things?

0:19:420:19:45

And Amber's got some bright ideas about Fran and Jake's rooms.

0:19:450:19:48

Rooms? One for each of them, then?

0:19:480:19:50

Aye, you were right.

0:19:500:19:51

It's a great idea. It really works.

0:19:510:19:54

Oh, and I would hate to throw away my old rug.

0:19:540:19:57

Do you and Lauren fancy having it at Mum's?

0:19:570:19:59

No! We don't want your smelly old rug!

0:19:590:20:01

We wanted a room and by the way,

0:20:010:20:04

you've rollered over a light switch.

0:20:040:20:06

Get a grip.

0:20:110:20:12

It was my idea.

0:20:120:20:13

And it's fine that Dad's so happy.

0:20:140:20:16

And I bet Fran's having a ball in her new room.

0:20:180:20:21

KNOCK AT DOOR

0:20:220:20:24

Hi. I hear everything's going great

0:20:260:20:28

now you've got rid of us.

0:20:280:20:29

What? You walked out.

0:20:290:20:31

-You made it pretty clear that you didn't want to share.

-With Jake!

0:20:310:20:34

Am I not allowed to say that?

0:20:340:20:35

You can't have your own room and us here too, Fran.

0:20:350:20:38

That's impossible, unless we defy gravity and sleep on the ceiling.

0:20:380:20:42

Well, I DO want you here, but not if you hate us.

0:20:420:20:45

We don't hate you, we just didn't want to make Dad choose.

0:20:450:20:49

Cos he'd pick Amber and you two.

0:20:500:20:52

As if! Your dad's been moping around like a depressed tortoise ever since

0:20:520:20:56

-you left.

-What?

0:20:560:20:58

He was full of the joys just now.

0:20:580:20:59

He's pretending - for you.

0:20:590:21:01

You know, for a smart kid, you can be really dumb.

0:21:030:21:06

This is a disaster.

0:21:120:21:14

If this is Cinderella,

0:21:140:21:15

then everything just turned back into mice and pumpkins.

0:21:150:21:18

I need my ugly sister over here.

0:21:190:21:21

DOORBELL RINGS

0:21:220:21:24

Big man!

0:21:270:21:28

-Safe!

-Yo.

0:21:280:21:30

Welcome.

0:21:300:21:31

And I've told you, all right, THIS...

0:21:330:21:36

is the Bro zone.

0:21:360:21:37

MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS

0:21:370:21:38

Well, I need to go to my dad's anyway, so...

0:21:400:21:43

See ya.

0:21:440:21:45

Hey, man, I saw this really cool bird on the way over.

0:21:460:21:49

Yeah? What, you mean a girl?

0:21:490:21:52

No, mate, a bird.

0:21:520:21:54

Thought you'd know what it was.

0:21:540:21:55

Oh, right.

0:21:570:21:58

Yeah, I'm not really...

0:21:580:22:01

-That's a woodpecker.

-Yeah?

0:22:050:22:08

Boss. Pecks wood, then, does it?

0:22:080:22:11

Oh, hi. Probably wondering what I'm doing.

0:22:130:22:15

This is supposed to ward off evil spirits.

0:22:150:22:17

You like, doing martial arts, then?

0:22:180:22:20

Where there's preparation, there is no fear.

0:22:200:22:24

Yeah? So what if I did this?

0:22:240:22:26

HE ROARS, TREY YELPS

0:22:260:22:28

Oh, sorry, Trey, it's my martial arts training!

0:22:300:22:33

Are you literally the most embarrassing dad ever?

0:22:330:22:37

-You all right, mate?

-Yeah, yeah, fine,

0:22:370:22:40

just lucky I landed on my head.

0:22:400:22:42

I'll tell you what, Trey, how about we go to my bedroom

0:22:420:22:45

and then who knows? Maybe we won't get attacked!

0:22:450:22:47

Look, look, wait.

0:22:480:22:50

That was awesome. Could you show me how to do that?

0:22:500:22:52

Well, that one's a bit advanced,

0:22:520:22:54

but I could teach you something like this.

0:22:540:22:57

That is so sick!

0:22:580:22:59

Oi, mate - your dad is a lege!

0:22:590:23:02

Yeah? Yes, yes.

0:23:020:23:05

He did say he'd take us go-karting later if we wanted.

0:23:060:23:09

For real? Sweet!

0:23:090:23:11

Oi, I spotted a woodpecker earlier on.

0:23:110:23:13

Do you want to see?

0:23:130:23:15

I just don't get what I did wrong.

0:23:180:23:20

-You didn't try to stop us leaving, did you?

-Why would I?

0:23:200:23:22

I let you work it out for yourselves and you said that's what you wanted.

0:23:220:23:26

What we say and what we mean are two different things.

0:23:260:23:29

And you tried to palm us off with your flea-ridden rug.

0:23:290:23:32

That old rug means a lot to me.

0:23:320:23:34

Look, I want you back.

0:23:350:23:37

Us getting a new place

0:23:370:23:38

was meant to make things easier and now I feel like I'm losing you.

0:23:380:23:42

Wait, so if you had to choose...

0:23:430:23:45

-Lauren, what are you doing?

-If you had to choose between us and them,

0:23:450:23:47

who would you choose?

0:23:470:23:49

You can't ask me to make that choice.

0:23:490:23:51

It's impossible.

0:23:510:23:53

Thought so. Come on, Millie.

0:23:530:23:55

Wait, wait, hold on.

0:23:590:24:01

Is that what all this was about?

0:24:040:24:06

A test to see which of my families I love the most?

0:24:060:24:09

No!

0:24:090:24:10

Well, it does sound a bit like that.

0:24:100:24:13

Well, I'm sorry, but I can't choose.

0:24:130:24:15

Because I haven't got two families,

0:24:150:24:17

I've got one

0:24:170:24:19

and wherever I am, even if it's a box at the side of the road,

0:24:190:24:23

there'll always be a place for my two girls.

0:24:230:24:26

OK, so how are we going to sort out the rooms?

0:24:360:24:39

We'll do what we should have done in the first place.

0:24:390:24:41

Make Fran live in the hall?

0:24:410:24:43

No. We'll sit down and talk it over.

0:24:430:24:45

I'm not sharing with anyone.

0:24:520:24:54

Luckily, nobody wants you.

0:24:540:24:56

Couldn't you three girls share?

0:24:560:24:58

What? And he gets a room on his own?

0:24:580:24:59

-Who made HIM king?

-But if we all shared,

0:24:590:25:02

then while me and Lauren were at Mum's,

0:25:020:25:03

you'd have a room to yourself.

0:25:030:25:05

OK, but there's no way you can fit three beds

0:25:050:25:07

and all your stuff into my room, period.

0:25:070:25:09

Thinking out of the box,

0:25:100:25:13

what we need's a bigger room.

0:25:130:25:15

Where are we going to get a...

0:25:160:25:18

Oh, no.

0:25:200:25:22

Oh, no way!

0:25:220:25:24

You want this to work, we need the master bedroom.

0:25:240:25:26

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:25:260:25:28

And this is what happens when you let them work it out for themselves.

0:25:280:25:31

-OK, then.

-ALL:

-Yes!

0:25:350:25:37

Tony. Quick word?

0:25:380:25:39

I decided that I'd be able to cope.

0:25:440:25:47

Oh, Amber!

0:25:470:25:49

-What?

-Nothing.

0:25:540:25:56

-Does it have fleas?

-No.

0:25:560:25:59

Small ones. It's my fault, I shouldn't...

0:25:590:26:01

I'm calling the council. They might be able to come and

0:26:010:26:04

-pick it up today.

-Don't be hasty. It makes me feel secure!

0:26:040:26:07

So, here we are, like the Three Bears.

0:26:080:26:10

Who's been lying in my bed? Was it you, Fran Pants?

0:26:110:26:14

No, but I will when you've gone.

0:26:140:26:15

With my shoes on your pillow!

0:26:150:26:17

Remind me, does anyone ACTUALLY like you?

0:26:170:26:19

-I like her.

-Oh, that's right, just gang up on me.

0:26:190:26:22

OK, so it's not a fairy-tale ending, but it might just work.

0:26:230:26:28

-Hey, that's my side.

-No, I get more space because I'm the eldest.

0:26:290:26:32

Yeah, but I'm here longer.

0:26:320:26:34

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