Survival Surveillance Millie Inbetween


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Survival Surveillance

Comedy drama series. Mum and Mike are persuaded to accept a weekend wedding invite. The kids and Ollie promise to be responsible adults.


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-"Tip me into your hand," Mike?

-Ooh.

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CARD PLAYS WEDDING MARCH

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Oh, it's from my old friend Charlotte.

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She's getting married. "Throw me."

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Oh!

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-Don't.

-Oh, and Charlotte's parties are legendary.

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This invite is for the whole weekend.

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A whole weekend on our own, fantastic!

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That's wonderful news!

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I just know that you two are going to have a really special time.

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Yeah, I'll call her later, let her know we can't be there.

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But, Mum, your oldest, dearest friend Carla...

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-Charlotte.

-Charlotte. You can't let her down.

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Yes, but what will you lot get up to when we're gone?

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-ALL:

-Nothing!

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THEY LAUGH

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Honestly, where is the trust?

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Mum, you cannot keep saying no to things.

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I deserve a life too, you know.

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I meant you deserve a life.

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I can say no if I think you lot are going to get up to no good.

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Sharon, Lauren and I are both responsible young adults.

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Well, you're young - I'll give you that.

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One out of three ain't bad.

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Lauren and I had to grow up fast,

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if anyone knows how to cope on their own without parents,

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functioning parents,

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-it's us.

-What?

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-Your dad and I never left you guys on your own.

-Erm...

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Dad did and we were fine.

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No, I don't think...

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-No, he didn't.

-Focus, we're nearly there.

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Yeah, I guess Dad and Amber are more chilled.

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Just trusts us more.

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OK, so it was a bit risky playing the Mum versus Dad card,

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but it worked. The wedding's tomorrow,

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which means two whole days of freedom...

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..for us.

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Mum, did you get any extra hot chocolate?

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You know how I like a cup before turning in early.

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Ha-ha.

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Have fun at the wedding, but don't go too wild.

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-We know what you're like.

-You can 100% trust us.

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-Well, me anyway.

-We know.

-You do?

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Yeah. In fact, we trust you so much we got one more young responsible

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adult to join you for the weekend.

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Yeah, responsibility levels off the scale.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Thanks for having me, Auntie Shaz.

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Oh, you're welcome.

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HE COUGHS

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The family's gone rock climbing, shame I got this chest infection.

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I was really keen to try my first undercling.

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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Of course you were, mate.

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Funny how often something stops him from enjoying the great outdoors.

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-Ollie?

-Hey, Millie.

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So money for food and emergencies.

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Lauren, what's an emergency?

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-Out of lip gloss.

-No, ditto clothes, movies,

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and printing party invites.

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Don't be silly, we'd send them online.

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Not that we're going to.

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BOTH: I'll take it.

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She knows that I'm more responsible.

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We'll see.

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Right, be good.

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ALL: Bye!

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Don't go too wild!

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Bring on the freekend!

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It's a weekend...

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..free from parents.

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-BOTH:

-Oh!

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THEY CHEER

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Freekend!

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Haven't you used up all your screen time this week?

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Yeah, and now I'm using up your screen time.

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Whoa, you really need to unclutter your inbox.

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I've been meaning to, but I just don't know how.

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-Can you help me, darling?

-Not right now.

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I wanted to watch an unboxing clip of the new box set

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on my favourite TV show.

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You want to watch someone unboxing a box?

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Thank you.

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Fran's time's up too.

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Thank you!

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Why's Franma e-mailing someone called Dan?

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And why is he glad that Flora chose him?

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I don't know, but you shouldn't be reading through

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-other people's e-mails.

-I'm not! Well, I am,

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but it's just the subject line, so it doesn't count.

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Hold on...

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..he says he wants to make her dreams come true.

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-So?

-You don't think...?

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No. Yes!

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-Franma's dating!

-Yeah, right.

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Then why have they agreed to take things slow at first?

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Let's have a look. But why would Franma want to date?

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She always says, "Me time, not he time."

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Poor Franma, she must be lonely.

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-But she has us.

-It's not the same.

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Now that we know, we can help her.

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The last time that she was dating, people didn't have mobile phones.

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So they used to send emojis by post?

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We just need to get her to tell us that she's dating first,

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so she doesn't know that I saw the e-mails.

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-What are you doing?

-Pretending I still have a phone,

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so I don't get dragged into this.

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Argh! Movies have lied to us.

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When kids are alone in movies, that's when all the exciting stuff

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happens. Turns out that no parents is even more boring than parents.

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There aren't even any useless burglars trying to break in

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-or anything.

-This is like the weekend that time forgot.

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-How long till they come back?

-What a bunch of amateurs,

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haven't even searched the cupboards.

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-Duh.

-Yes, lad. To me.

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Kale crunchies? Urgh.

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What say we kick off the freekend with an outrageous feast,

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and as I am wildly talented, I'll even cook.

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-I could eat.

-We can have all the cool things that Mum won't buy us.

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Like toasted potato waffles and microwavable cheeseburgers.

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Family size tubs of cookie dough ice cream?

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Yes! And squirty cheese.

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-Ew.

-Really?

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What? I like squirty cheese.

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Right, here is the money for the feast.

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-Wow!

-Making dinner is easy,

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I don't know why Mum makes such a fuss about it.

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Right, start with these.

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-Yum, yum.

-I'll be back soon.

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Oh, Gran, your horoscope says that you'll meet someone special soon

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who'll sweep you off your feet.

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So, have you?

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-Have I what, dear?

-Been swept off your feet?

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Rushed off my feet more like.

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What does mine say?

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What about the weekend,

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got any plans?

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SHE SIGHS

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-E-MAIL PINGS

-Ah, goodie.

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How about an afternoon with your dad tomorrow?

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He phoned this morning.

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Sure, but not zip wiring again.

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Last time we went, he kept cutting in front of me.

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Oh, I'm not going, just you two and your dad.

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Guess who's got a date tomorrow!

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Us with Dad, Franma just said.

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No, Franma. Read the signs, Jake.

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She got all touchy when I asked her if she'd met anyone,

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and now she's trying to get rid of us tomorrow.

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But why won't she tell us?

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Maybe she thinks she's too old.

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That's ridiculous, you can date anyone at any age.

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Look at Mum and Tony for example, they're ancient.

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You know what we need to do with Franma?

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-Get my phone back off her.

-No, show her that it's all fine.

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-GLASSES CLINK ALL:

-Cheers!

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Here we are.

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So it's toasted potato waffles,

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in a red currant jus,

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with a parsnip puree,

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garlic broccoli,

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with almonds and a chervil foam.

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Oh, and of course, the lobster tails.

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I'm glad I popped in.

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THEY LAUGH

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Mm, I'm getting the crunch of the waffle,

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the tartness of the red currant,

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balanced with the creamy puree.

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Is the chervil a bit much, though?

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No, it brings it all together.

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-Nice one, Ollie.

-Oh, thanks, guys.

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What was Mum worried for?

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Look at us, being all responsible and sophisticated.

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Can I have some cash, please?

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It's an emergency.

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Dino World is in 3-D for one day only and a crowd of us are going.

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I don't know why you're asking me. I gave Ollie the envelope.

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Yeah, but that wasn't all the money, was it?

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No way.

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-He can't have spent it all.

-SHE LAUGHS

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What? Lobster tails aren't cheap.

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Lauren gave me the money for food.

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Yeah, food for four teenagers plus one hanger on.

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This isn't the MasterChef final.

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Chillax, children. I thought this would happen...

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..if Lauren was in charge.

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So I asked uncle Mike for some emergency, emergency money.

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Oh, that's why you two winked at each other.

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Et, voila.

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It's gone.

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Oh, erm...

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I took the money for a taxi.

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-There was a lot to carry.

-How did you even find it?!

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I told you, I searched the cupboards.

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Great, so Gordon Ramsay has blown all the cash.

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I'm so happy we asked Mum to leave us alone.

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No-one eat any more.

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This has got to last us the whole weekend.

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-We're rationing.

-Stop it!

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Urgh, why aren't there any adults here to blame?!

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-I'm off to bed.

-Me too.

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Night, Lauren.

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I'll text you in five minutes.

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You're all welcome. I'll clean up, then.

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Now that the money is gone, we're stuck here,

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but at least we've got the place to ourselves.

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I've just had a 30 minute shower with Mum's posh shampoo

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that she never shares.

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Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon.

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Yeah, it was until Mum texted me to say stop being lazy,

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and get out of her bed.

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How did Mum know that I was in her nice big double bed, huh, Millie?

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-I don't know.

-Yeah, right. Maybe because I called dibs first,

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-you should not be bitter and snitch!

-I didn't.

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I'm going to take a shower.

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Just in case you want to inform your spy bosses!

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"Spy bosses"?

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LAUREN SCREAMS

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Millie!

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Whoops. I used all the hot water.

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Well?

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Oh, Sharon, you look amazing!

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Well, you don't look too shabby yourself.

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Shall we?

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You don't miss the kids, do you?

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Yeah, but you know what they say -

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absence makes the heart grow fitter.

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-Isn't it fonder?

-Yeah, but our hearts will be fitter,

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because we'll have no stress from the kids.

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Yeah, and I'm not worried about what they're up to either,

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-because it's all about...

-BOTH: ..trust.

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Oh, hang on.

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They'll be fine.

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Yeah, I'm just checking.

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This live streaming's brilliant.

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Jake, music.

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# Someone told me... #

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What is this?

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-Ed Sheeran.

-I said find something romantic.

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It's Ed Sheeran.

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# ..and make mistakes from time to time... #

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Ow! Why are you sitting in the dark?

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-It's called mood lighting.

-Oh, you two are putting me in a mood.

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Hurry up, your dad's waiting.

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OK, we're going. Oh, and by the way, you're never too old to wear purple.

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And remember, any more than 13 heart emojis just looks desperate.

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OK, so the idea is - you slide down the stairs on the mattress.

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Bonus point if you do it backwards.

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Then you climb the stepladders with no hand,

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and then you leap from chair to chair with your eyes closed.

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I call it a Ride of the House Ninja.

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More like ride to A&E.

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Look, I came here to escape physical challenges!

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It'll be perfectly safe, whoever's fastest is the winner.

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Or whoever's alive by the end.

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-Shall we go and set up?

-Be my guest.

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-MESSAGE PINGS

-Got a text. From Mike!

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"Don't do anything stupid."

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How did he know I was about to do something stupid?

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I mean, daring.

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Maybe he just knows you're a potential maniac.

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Or someone's dobbed me in!

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-Lauren!

-What?

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Lauren, you traitor!

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What is this,

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an art installation for demented spiders?

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This is Ride of the House Ninja.

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In here is round two -

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the laser room. I had to use string.

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My kind of lasers. Nice.

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-Why did you tell Mike about it?

-I didn't.

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Did you tell Mum I was searching for my birthday presents?

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No, because - one, I didn't know you were doing that,

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and two, if I did, I would have helped.

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Well, I just got a text saying, "Find anything yet, Snoopy?"

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And here you are, out of the blue.

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-Well, it wasn't me.

-Yeah, and it wasn't me that told Mike about your

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-lame ninja playground.

-And it wasn't me who told Mum that you were

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-sleeping in her bed.

-Show me your phone.

-Touch my phone,

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-and you'll lose fingers!

-What have you got to hide, Lauren?!

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-No!

-Show me your phone!

-There's nothing!

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-I've got nothing on my phone!

-Show me your phone!

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THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER

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Stop! Calm down!

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Is that Mike's tablet?

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He said he was taking that with him.

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-Strange.

-I think we're being watched.

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-He must be streaming us on his tablet.

-That's how Mike and Sharon

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know what we're going to do before we even do it.

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There must be other cameras.

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Lost a few points there, mate!

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Upstairs!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Stupid.

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-A rose for my rose...

-No time, we're being watched.

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Got it! Action camera at 11 o'clock.

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AM or PM?

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-What?

-Don't look, they might be watching.

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What are we going to do?

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Yeah, it's the safety camera from Mike's bike.

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Oh, come to think of it,

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I saw a suspicious device downstairs in the kitchen.

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I mean, it might just be a smoke alarm, but...

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OK.

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It's on the wall by the door.

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That is a smoke alarm.

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-Oh.

-To be fair, it is very camera-like.

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Thank you.

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We're still being totally spied on.

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Wait.

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What lovely weather we're having. I love Scotland.

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"We're being bug..."?

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Sh! Lauren!

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Millie, this is no time to be hand dancing.

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It's code. We all need to split up,

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look for more cameras and microphones,

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-then regroup.

-OK.

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Good idea, and remember - act natural.

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There won't be one in there.

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Guys, on top of the kitchen cupboard.

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Don't look.

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OK, act normal.

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Hurry up! Don't see why you needed your coat.

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I don't, duh. I want to see if her date was going well.

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I'm sorry, but it's just not working.

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Oh, please don't say that.

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-I so wanted it to work.

-Dan and Gran are breaking up.

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Is it cos their names rhyme? That would put me right off.

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-What can I do?

-Nothing, it's a compatibility problem.

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It doesn't help if one is much older.

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What a cheek, he thinks she's too old for him.

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I understand. If we can't make it work,

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we can't make it work.

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I suppose that's it, then.

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-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

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MUSIC: Get Down On It By Kool & The Gang

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Get down!

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-What's going on at home?

-Nothing.

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In fact, they look bored.

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Bored is good.

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-Right, come on, I've requested the Macarena.

-Ooh!

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OK, to confirm - four cameras, living room,

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landing, kitchen, hallway.

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The microphones were turned off.

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Affirmative.

0:18:270:18:29

Then why are you both whispering?

0:18:290:18:31

-Oh.

-Oh, yeah.

0:18:310:18:33

I can't believe this, Mum and Mike don't trust us at all.

0:18:330:18:36

The whole time they've just been spying on us.

0:18:360:18:38

Like they expect us to be irresponsible.

0:18:380:18:41

Well, we did blow all the money.

0:18:410:18:43

-You did.

-Well, if that's what they expect,

0:18:430:18:46

then that's what we should give them.

0:18:460:18:48

-Go on.

-Right, first we need to make sure that they're watching.

0:18:480:18:53

I'll text Mike and ask where he keeps his drill,

0:18:530:18:56

that'll get him watching his little CCTVs.

0:18:560:18:59

Perfect. Things are about to get wild.

0:18:590:19:03

Fake wild.

0:19:040:19:06

Yes!

0:19:080:19:09

THEY LAUGH

0:19:090:19:12

Remember, look like you're going for the mirror.

0:19:120:19:14

Pretend you smashed it.

0:19:190:19:21

-The bath, it's leaking.

-Lauren!

0:19:290:19:31

I'm sorry!

0:19:310:19:34

-Mum's dresses?

-Mm-hm.

0:19:340:19:36

Which one should I choose?

0:19:360:19:38

-This one.

-This one?

0:19:380:19:41

Definitely.

0:19:410:19:44

-Oh, no!

-Lauren! What have you done?

-What have I done?

-Up the stairs,

0:19:510:19:54

come on, wash it. Come on!

0:19:540:19:56

I'll get the lights.

0:20:030:20:05

Ollie, stand-by. Now get the cracked glass.

0:20:050:20:07

Great. Turn it off.

0:20:160:20:18

She's not here, must've taken the break-up pretty bad.

0:20:200:20:23

Yeah, she's too good for him, and Dan's a dumb name.

0:20:230:20:26

Oh, I didn't hear you guys come back.

0:20:260:20:29

You had other things on your mind.

0:20:290:20:31

Jake, go get some ice cream. How about we watch a rom-com?

0:20:310:20:34

What? No, I hate rom-coms.

0:20:340:20:37

But they're good once you've just been dumped.

0:20:370:20:39

-Helps you get it all out.

-Excuse me? Who dumped me?

0:20:390:20:42

-She's in denial.

-I don't have a boyfriend.

0:20:420:20:45

That's right, Dan's your ex now.

0:20:450:20:48

-Who's Dan?

-Look, you don't have to be embarrassed.

0:20:480:20:51

-We know that you met Dan online.

-Yeah, and we heard him break-up

0:20:510:20:54

-with you this afternoon. What a creep.

-Dan?

0:20:540:20:57

Oh, you mean Digital Applications Network?

0:20:570:21:00

-Is that your pet name for him?

-No!

0:21:000:21:02

DAN is a company.

0:21:020:21:05

And the one you heard earlier when you were spying is a nice young man

0:21:050:21:10

-called Ash who works for them.

-Oh, so you're dating Ash?

0:21:100:21:13

I'm not dating anyone!

0:21:130:21:15

I hired him to teach me how to use the editing software

0:21:150:21:18

on the computer. I wanted to edit the videos on my phone!

0:21:180:21:22

With all my lovely grandkids and me on the zip wire holding a flare.

0:21:220:21:26

-Why didn't you just ask us for help?

-I did, but you're always too busy on

0:21:260:21:30

your gadgets and gizmos to teach me.

0:21:300:21:32

So when Ash said you're too old...

0:21:320:21:34

He was talking about the computer, thank you very much.

0:21:340:21:37

It needs its GPU updated.

0:21:370:21:39

-Whatever that is.

-That actually makes way more sense.

0:21:390:21:42

I have a lot of admirers,

0:21:420:21:44

and I wouldn't be embarrassed to tell anyone I was dating.

0:21:440:21:49

But Ash, a bit young, practically a baby.

0:21:490:21:52

I will make sure that I log out of my e-mail account

0:21:530:21:57

properly in future.

0:21:570:21:59

THEY SIGH

0:22:060:22:08

Faking for parents is so exhausting.

0:22:080:22:10

Yeah, you should know.

0:22:100:22:12

Leo, make some Cocoa, we've got to turn in early,

0:22:120:22:14

-so we could wake up at six.

-Oh, no way! I want a spy-free lie-in.

0:22:140:22:19

Trust me, Mum and Mike will be home extra early.

0:22:190:22:23

-Yeah, I better get home.

-Oh, well, I'll text you. Thanks for helping.

0:22:230:22:27

It's cool.

0:22:270:22:29

-Ah-ha! We caught you.

-What is going on?

0:22:360:22:40

Good morning.

0:22:400:22:41

-Broccoli?

-Slice of toast?

0:22:410:22:44

Anchovy butter?

0:22:440:22:45

Why have none of you been answering your phones?

0:22:450:22:47

Oh, we fancied an early night, so we switched them off.

0:22:470:22:50

-"Early night"?

-Yeah, right, as if.

0:22:500:22:53

Well, there's been no parties, no fun.

0:22:530:22:55

In fact, this has been the most boring weekend ever.

0:22:550:22:58

-Oh, really?

-That is not what it looked like on the...

0:22:580:23:02

Oh, my dress, my mirror!

0:23:020:23:04

-My tablet screen!

-What about them?

0:23:040:23:07

I'm just...I'm just wondering how they are.

0:23:070:23:11

-They're fine.

-Yeah, well I'm going to go check.

0:23:110:23:13

But I thought you took your tablet with you.

0:23:130:23:16

No, it's upstairs.

0:23:160:23:18

Oh, right, so it's not this one that was propped up on the book shelf

0:23:180:23:24

watching our every move even though you said that you could trust us?

0:23:240:23:28

-We can explain.

-No need, you were spying on us.

0:23:280:23:33

Well, yes, but good job after we saw what you lot got up to.

0:23:330:23:39

THEY GIGGLE

0:23:390:23:42

Oh, wait.

0:23:420:23:44

This is a set-up, isn't it?

0:23:440:23:46

Yeah. Follow me.

0:23:460:23:47

-Here you go!

-Oh, what's that for?

0:23:560:23:59

To help you wake up, you're going to need your brain on.

0:23:590:24:01

Yeah, we're going to show you how to speak computer.

0:24:010:24:03

Starting off by showing you how to edit your videos.

0:24:030:24:06

Oh, thank you, guys.

0:24:060:24:08

Isn't there something else you'd rather do with your day?

0:24:080:24:12

-BOTH:

-Nope.

-Oh, well, while we're here,

0:24:120:24:15

can you help me join one of those dating websites?

0:24:150:24:18

Joking! Your faces.

0:24:210:24:24

-Just press that button and then it will play.

-OK.

0:24:270:24:29

So, my dress isn't ruined?

0:24:290:24:31

Not unless red paper stains.

0:24:310:24:35

What about the leak in the ceiling?

0:24:350:24:38

A stick and a cup.

0:24:380:24:40

And some brilliant acting.

0:24:400:24:42

Yeah, but I saw my screen was smashed.

0:24:420:24:45

No. You saw this.

0:24:450:24:48

We just drew some lines on it.

0:24:480:24:50

Now, that is genius.

0:24:500:24:52

We were convinced you guys had messed up.

0:24:520:24:54

-Yeah, before you'd even left.

-We're sorry.

0:24:540:24:58

-It's not like we don't trust you.

-You just really missed our faces?

0:24:580:25:01

We ruined your weekend and ours.

0:25:010:25:03

Next time, we'll just to leave you to it.

0:25:030:25:05

So there will be a next time?

0:25:050:25:07

And no cameras.

0:25:070:25:08

And it was Mike's idea.

0:25:080:25:10

That is so not true.

0:25:100:25:12

So we've forgiven Mum and Mike for turning our weekend of freedom into

0:25:140:25:18

some strange reality TV show.

0:25:180:25:21

It's not that they don't trust us,

0:25:210:25:23

it's more that they don't want to admit that we're growing up.

0:25:230:25:25

KNOCK ON DOOR Wait for it.

0:25:250:25:28

-Hi!

-Mum.

-I was wondering if you'd fancy snuggling up,

0:25:290:25:32

-and watching an old musical.

-Oh!

0:25:320:25:35

Can we make chocolate milk floats as well?

0:25:350:25:38

Yeah, I'll see if there's any sprinkles.

0:25:380:25:40

What? I didn't say we were totally grown-up.

0:25:420:25:45

Mum and Mike are persuaded to accept a weekend wedding invite. The kids and Ollie promise to be responsible adults, but is the trust misplaced? Fran thinks Franma is online-dating.