13/09/2014 MOTD Kickabout

Good good morning, everyone. Welcome to Match of the Day Kickabout. It's

my debut in the hot seat. Very exciting. Here's what's coming up

for you today. It's Arsenal and Manchester City and

we look back at their nine-goaler thriller from last season. Tim

Vickery gives us theiodown on Manchester United's new signing.

Preston striker, Kevin Davis, takes on Sav's Big Mouth. The Premier

League took a break to make way for the first round of European

Championships qualifiers and all the home nations were involved. Scotland

had a tough start against Germany. They came close, but hearts were

broken by the goal-scoring machine that is Thom mass Muller. -- Thomas

Muller. England won against Switzerland. Northern Ireland beat

Hungary to secure their first away win in four years. And finally,

Wales just beat Andorra, 2-1, but win in four years. And finally,

had to be Baled out, see what I did there, by the Real Madrid star who

scored two amazing goals. Speaking of Wales, Chris Gunter has been

giving of Wales, Chris Gunter has been

to be part of the Welsh squad. That was awesome. I wonder if Chris

would let us stick a camera on him for the next game? Oh, that's not

allowed. OK, my guest this week - two absolute superstars from South

American have arrived at Manchester United and we wanted to find out

more about them. It's lucky then that we have our own expert to

reveal all. We can talk about technique and tactics and selection

all we like. You don't necessarily one the World Cup with flashy

opening-day victories. This is the biggest humiliation in the history

of Brazilian football. Here he is. Tim, welcome to the show. Honour to

have you. Lovely to be here. Our viewers, they obviously know about

you and have seen you doing your World Cup commentary, but I have a

few questions for you. OK? Fire away. I need to know, how does

someone become a south American football expert. What led you to

that? How do you fool people into thinking it? Step one, failing at

everything else. Step two, you have to live there. You have to breathe

the air. I moved out there 20 years ago. I think you've got to be

curious. You've got to watch the games with your mind open. And

you're thinking all the time, "How is this football in South American

and different from the football in England?" . There's a phrase that I

love, football is like a language that everyone speaks all around the

world. We all speak it, but we peek it with different accents. I speak

it with my accent and you speak it with your American accent and in

Brazil with theirs and Argentina with theirs so it's learning them

and comparing them. It's a lovely way to make a living. Absolutely.

Fantastic. There's two south American players who have recently

joined Manchester United. Will you tell us about them and please use

your Brazilian accent when you say their names. There is one from

Argentina and one - two actually, but the two big one is Di Maria from

Argentina and Radamal Falcao from Colombia. Di Maria is one of the

quickest things you'll ever see on a pitch. Lovely left foot. Can play in

midfield and play as a winger. He looks right on top of his game.

Radamal Falcao is a centre forward. He's an out and out goal scorer.

Inside the penalty area he will score with his right foot, with his

left, with his head. He is a tiger. A force of nature in the penalty

area. They've spent a lot of money, a truck-load of money. Do you think

it's going to be worth it? It seems like quite a big risk? With Di Maria

I don't think there's a risk. I have a little doubt about Radamal Falcao.

That's his knees. He missed the World Cup because he had a knee

injury. He rushed trying to get back into time for the World Cup. He

wasn't successful. Maybe he's still paying the price for the effort he

made to try and get fit in time for the World Cup, because I still don't

think he's moving quite right. We'll see how he does. I heard a rumour

that he's studying journalism? It's true. He can always fall back on

that? That was part of the thinking process. He's an intelligent young

man. Because his father was a player, I think he's always been

aware that football is an insecure profession. You might not make it or

suffer an injury, so when he was playing with River Plate and they

have a college and he was studying to be a journalist, so it means at

this stage not only can he play, but he can write the match report after.

If it doesn't work out, we might have to give him your number. Thank

you. We'll see you later for a statistic-based game, so you need to

study up. Will it be tough? It might be. For the Manchester United fans,

Fallujah should make his -- Radamal Falcao should make his debut against

QPR, but that's tomorrow. Before then, there are huge games taking

place later today. The only two teams to take maximum points come

head-to-head as Chelsea welcome Swansea.

COMMENTATOR: It's gone in. It's Szabo. -- Pablo Zabaleta in. It's

into the net! Navas finds Silva. Manchester City six, Arsenal three.

It's time for the cave, but we have decided to give it a south American

twist because Tim's here. Tim, in honour of you, we have changed the

cave into the jungle. What do you think? It's lovely that you made the

effort. Most of big-city South American, where the football is

played is an urban jungle, concrete, so it hasn't made me feel at home.

But I'm very happy. Apologies. I didn't do any of this. It's

everybody else that works on the show. Moving on, the game of

football, I'll give you three statistic-based questions and you'll

answer higher or lower and seeing as you're from South American, they're

all south American based. Since you're an compeRT, I kind of expect

you to get all of them correct. If I do, Big pressure. Big pressure. If

you don't get them correct I'll take away your expert title, but if you

did you get to take the key to get you out of the jungle. We didn't

think that one through. Are you ready? Ready. The population of

Argentina is 41 million. We have already talked about Di Maria, but

was his transfer fee higher or lower than ?41 million? I think he's

probably worth a little more than ?41 million. Anyone who saw him tear

Germany to bits would agree. I'm going hire. -- higher. You are

correct. Higher. ?59.7 million. Question two, did you know there are

20 different species of piranaha in the jungle? No. There are also quite

a few south American footballers playing in the Premier League. Is

that number of players higher or lower than the 20 fish species?

Argentina played Germany and seven of the team are Premier

League-based. Brazil just played Ecuador and six of that Brazil team

are Premier League based, so that's already 13. You throw in all the

others and it's higher. It's 46 players. Well done. The last

question is a toughy. The Amazon river in South American is one of

the world's longest at a staggering 4,000 miles. This week Gareth Bale

rescued Wales. Was the number of people watching that higher or lower

than 4,000? This is for the key? This is for the key. I'm not sure.

There are little jungle noises. Andorra is a tiny country. It's the

size of a stamp. I reckon Andorra would be difficult for them to draw

a crowd that size. I'm going lower. You are correct. 3,300. Well done.

That's yours. You can keep your expert title. Thank you very much.

Thank you for coming. Great to meet you. Thank you. This week,

Manchester played host to the annual Soccerex Football Festival festival.

We sent Seema to check it out. Usually during the international

week, Manchester City's stadium is a little on the quiet side. But not

today, because I've tracked down a festival right outside the ground.

That's not as easy as it looks. As you can see, a miniature pitch has

been created with some former Premier League legends really

strutting their stuff ch have you had fun so far? Yes. What's been the

best part? The keeper's big gloves. Which one is that? There.

INAUDIBLE So nervous before the game. Legends

or any of that high-quality football. They're good. Always

friendly. Look what I've just come across. It's the pitching machine

and Diego is giving it a try right now. Have you had a good day? Yeah.

Best part? The first football match. The legends were great. Any legends

that you've seen today that are your favourites? Saha. You were on fire

today. Did you enjoy it? It's always nice to win and everything was good.

It was lovely to see people looking at footballers that they've seen on

TV, so it's always great to do that. It's time now for Sav's Big Mouth. I

was disappointed to hear that my score of four had been wiped out for

the new season. But, I did win the award for the hardest kick, so I'll

be trying it again soon. This week's challenger is Preston striker, Kevin

Davis. He has a score of three to beat. Kevin Davis. Club? Sheffield

United. Footy statistics? It took me until 33 to make my England debut,

so never give up on your dreams. Six in 20 seconds. That's going to

be hard to beat this season. All the best. Six? That really has laid down

the gauntlet. It's easy to see why he's a striker. OK, so I'm afraid

that's all we have time for this week. I have had loads of fun and I

couldn't go without giving a shoutout to my team, Millwall FC.

Forget the Premier League. It's all about the Championship. We are

flying high and hopefully next year it will be promotion to the big

league. If you're short of a team to support, go for the Lions. Goodbye.

# In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lion sleeps tonight...