New Zealand Ninjas Naomi's Nightmares of Nature

Welcome to my Nightmares Of Nature.

I'm Naomi Wilkinson...

Oh, my goodness!

..and I'm coming face-to-face with the nightmares of the animal world.

Ooh!

The ones that make your spine tingle...

SHE WHIMPERS

..your heart beat faster...

Oh, there it is, there it is!

..and your blood run cold.

Are they truly terrifying...

..or is there a twist in the tale?

Come with me as I shine a light on wildlife's

deepest, darkest secrets

and see if you can guess which will be my worst nightmare.

That's more like it.

This time, I have travelled to the other side of the world,

to New Zealand.

It's miles from anywhere, it is totally wild,

and here you'll find some of the weirdest creatures on the planet.

So hold on tight for some Nightmares Of Nature.

'Isolated at the bottom of the world,

'New Zealand's rugged ravines and perilous peaks are

'a veritable playground for wildlife that is weird.

IT BELCHES

'Very weird.'

I've never seen anything like that.

'The first of which lives deep in the bowels of Middle Earth.'

Here in New Zealand, in the dark caves,

there lurks a mysterious hunter.

It first lures its victims in, and then it snatches them up.

But to find them, you have to go deep into their lair.

'But we're not completely on our own,

'as we've been joined by cave crawler Angus

'who knows these caverns like the back of his hand.

'Well, that's what he told us.'

So I've got a rubber tube.

Does that mean there's a nice lazy river in there?

Yeah, yeah, we're going to float away down into this cave system.

'Rafting on a ring, underground? Hmm!'

Are there any bugs in here?

Oh, yeah. Especially the entrances, they're loaded.

Cool!

'And, sure enough, we're greeted by

'some beastly beauties as soon as we enter.'

Brace yourself.

You see straight up in there?

Oh! No!

'Cave weta, massive insects with massive jaws, and they bite.'

They jump three or four metres, so watch yourself.

-And so you want to make sure your zip is right up.

-Oh!

-If we carry on in...

-Let's get going.

Yeah, right, I'll grab my tube.

Let's get out of here!

Shall we get through here?

'These wiry weta aren't what we're after,

'so onwards, in search of my nightmare.'

-Nicer looking, I hope.

-Well, not close up.

Hm-hm-hm! I love caving(!)

'From here, the river rages through the deep network of caves.'

I'm starting to see why I might need these.

'Home to yet another subterranean scoundrel.'

-There's an eel, in the water, look!

-His name's Cecil.

-Cecil!

-Cecil the eel.

-Hello, Cecil!

Oh, here he comes.

There are so many strange, weird creatures living in the cave.

How weird is this? Oh!

Don't lose a finger! Oh, my word.

'Nope, not my nightmare either.

'For that, we need to go even deeper.'

You've got to scrunch over a bit here, Naomi.

'It's like white-water rafting,

'in the dark, surrounded by creepy crawlies.'

It's like a very weird fairground ride.

Whee! Hoo-hoo!

It's nuts! Whee-hoo!

-Hmm.

-Yes!

Slight problem! We've reached a waterfall.

So we're going to jump off this thing.

-Are we?

-We're going to jump off it.

-Chuck ourselves over there?

-Easy.

Easy! Right, yeah, let's do it.

Three, two, one...

Oh!

I think we're about to see the thing we've come all this way to find.

'And the rest of the crew are ready and waiting.

'Huh?!'

Hang on a minute, how did you lot get in here? Did you just...

What?!

You've just walked in?

Oh, I don't believe it!

'Anyway, we have now reached the haunt of our horror.'

Oh, this is something special, isn't it?

-How cool, eh?

-Magical, wow!

'Curious to see what I'm cooing at?'

Now, down here, our normal cameras can't see very well,

but, fortunately, Stu has brought with him this special low light

camera, fingers crossed, that will be able to show you

what we're seeing, so let's test it out.

We'll turn our lights off, and see if it works.

Woohoo! Cool, huh?

Oh, it's like a little disco! So pretty!

-It's gorgeous, isn't it?

-You could have a disco down here!

-Like a disco, come on!

-Are you seeing it, Stu?

Can you get it? Is it reading? Yes!

'How can this magical sight possibly be a nightmare?'

What are all these lights?

-Well, they're glow-worms.

-Glow-worms?

-Yeah.

So each little light is actually a creature?

Absolutely, they're a little insect,

and the tip of their tail glows.

'These particular glow-worms are - ew! - the slippery,

'slimy larvae of the fungus gnat, whose glow is caused by

'a chemical reaction in their body, known as bioluminescence.

They glow brighter the more excited or hungry they get.

-Is that right?

-OK, yeah, so the dim ones that you see up there,

they're pretty happy, they've just had a good meal, yeah?

And the really bright ones are going,

"Hmm, there might be something down there, I want to get it."

'It may not look it, but this cave is full of tasty insects

'swept in, like us, on the river.

''To get hold of this meal,

'the fungus gnat larvae just has to wait for it to come to them.'

-Well, it's like when you flick your light on outside at night-time.

-Yes.

You know, all the moths and things come up to see what's going on,

you know? And so that's exactly what these glow-worms are doing.

-They're tricking insects to come up and be caught by them.

-Wow!

'But that is not the only trick they've got up their sleeve.

'They also fish for their food.'

Oh, look, here we go.

You can see the glow-worms' fishing lines here.

All these come from the glow-worms?

Absolutely.

They're so delicate, aren't they?

Like a lovely chandelier.

'To understand how they work, we first need to get acquainted

'with the larvae producing these jewels.'

These are the larval glow-worm that you can see here.

Right up on the ceiling.

And they look like someone sneezed on the wall, right there.

Is that it? That see-through thing?

-That's it, that gooey see-through thing.

-Oh, that's the glow-worm!

It's pretty gross. And they've got this amazing life.

They're lying in a little silk hammock that they make, and

they hang these sticky, silk fishing lines straight down from the roof.

I'd love to be a glow-worm, because, I mean, what a wonderful life!

Here they are, they're just lying back there, fishing away.

'But this scene isn't as romantic as it looks.

'These beautiful fishing rods are sticky, designed to ensnare

'passing insects drawn towards them by the green jewelled light.'

So what happens once the insect gets caught in that sticky stuff?

That's the exciting bit.

They throw themselves headfirst

down the line that's twitching, and suck, like spaghetti,

they suck the insect up, grab it,

and wrestle it back up into its little hammock.

And that's where they sit and eat it.

So they don't really...

I mean, this is the disgusting bit...

-Oh, there's more?

-Yeah.

Yeah, they bite it to kill it, and then suck all the insides out, OK?

So it's not the nice crunchy outside bits they eat, just the insides.

-Nice(!)

-Yeah.

'Nicer still is what the gnat larvae do to each other.

If they get too close, they'll fight, and the loser,

poor thing, will either get eaten, or just thrown screaming

from the ceiling down into the river below.

So you don't want to get on the wrong side of a fungus gnat?

Absolutely not. They're nasty little creatures.

The fungus gnat. It not only lives in these dark caves,

but it's found two awesome ways to get a meal.

First, bait your victim with a dazzling light show,

then, secondly, catch it in your sticky trap.

But will its trickery be enough to snatch that Worst Nightmare title?

'Safely back above ground, we've hit the highway,

'hot on the heels of our next nightmare.'

When you park your car, it's usually a good idea to...

..lock it up just in case some devious crook decides

to try and break in. And, on the highways of New Zealand,

there's a bandit of a completely different nature.

'Meet the kea.

'A parrot that lives up in New Zealand's harsh peaks.

'When they spot humans and, indeed, cars, they descend,

'pecking and scratching, with a particular fondness

'for those important rubber bits that hold cars together.

'They even break the law!

'But have these birds literally become CARnivores - ha-ha! -

'or is there something else going on?

'To find out, I've teamed up

'with kea keeper Michelle at Auckland Zoo.'

PIERCING SHRIEK

It's like balloons deflating or something.

Ssh!

'Time to meet one.'

-Here it is.

-So, this is the bird I've heard so much about, the kea.

Yeah. His name is Tapili.

Tapili, hello... Oh! A lively little thing!

-Hello, nice to meet you, I think!

-Good boy.

'Up close, one body part grabs my attention.'

That is one seriously long, sharp-looking beak.

Definitely. It helps them to manipulate things,

to rip into rotting wood and find insects and grubs to eat.

They can climb with it,

they can hang upside down and they also use it to get into trouble.

Yeah, so why is it that they're attacking these cars?

What they are doing is just exploring and investigating.

-Right.

-So, as a species, they're into everything.

'In a harsh environment, curiosity is a survival tool...

Oi! No, no, no. That's my underwear!

'..that can find you not just underwear

'but food in unexpected places.'

Move away from my drink, you. Oi!

He just nicked my marshmallow!

'It's become their nature.'

They are like, "Oh, we'll just check this out",

whether it's ski equipment or backpacks or hiking boots

or someone's car and they pull the windscreen wipers off

-just because it's fun...

-Yeah.

-Just wreak havoc wherever they go.

-Exactly.

'Bored teenage gangs with too much time on their hands

'go on the rampage.

'Even Tapili gets up to mischief.'

We've found him with pies

and biscuits and chips and things like that.

'And today is no exception.'

Look what he's doing, look what he's doing!

He knows exactly where the food is kept.

Showing off his skills perfectly. Right.

Basically that beak is like a can-opener. Open things up.

NAOMI LAUGHS

Don't take it away, it's got a camera in it.

Come back! You're like a toddler.

Take my eye off you for a second and you've got your beak

in something you shouldn't be nosing into.

Yeah, you!

He's gone off in a huff.

Were you going to bite me, then?

I've got your number!

I'm watching you. I don't really trust you at all.

'These are clearly no bird-brains.

'In fact, despite appearances, these kea are so clever

'some scientists think they can outsmart a three-year-old child.

'To demonstrate, I'm going to carry out a little test.

'Three containers, each holding a tasty peanut,

'but inaccessible behind plastic.

'To get at them, the kea will have to pull them out on a string.'

Oh, look at those beautiful wings!

'Step one, start at the top. Check!'

What to do, what to do?

Once he realises that

he's got to get off that piece of wood to move it...

As long as it's got his weight on it, it won't open,

so he needs to figure that out.

Oh, he's done it already! Clever clogs!

So, here we go. So he's holding the string with his foot

so it doesn't drop back down, pulling it up with his beak.

Oh, aren't you dainty and careful?

He's already got the first ones out!

That took no time at all.

And there's your reward for being such a clever clogs. Well done!

Well done! A round of applause for you.

Now, if he can put it all back together again,

I would be well impressed!

THEY LAUGH

At a first glance it's easy to see why a bird that likes to eat cars

could be right up there as the worst nightmare ever.

Yes, they are very mischievous and cause a lot of havoc.

But, remember, we are in their territory.

When you get to know these birds,

they are nosy, tenacious and super-smart.

So, kea, a nightmare? Not for me.

'From mountain peaks

'to farmyard troughs,

'my next nightmare is quite simply a country icon.'

New Zealand is famous for many things -

rugby, kiwi fruit and...

Sheep.

It's said there are almost 30 million sheep here

and with only 4.5 million people, that's roughly six sheep per person.

I know what you're thinking - sheep? They're not a nightmare.

Well, think again.

'Sheep eat a lot and what goes in...has repercussions.

BREAKING WIND

'Welcome to New Zealand's gassy nightmare.'

PARP!

'It's believed these belching, burping and whizz-popping sheep

'are contributing to global warming with their gas emissions.

BREAKING WIND

'Faced with these methane monsters, scientists like Harry here

'are now working with the sheep to find out what can be done

'to reduce the amount of burping they do.'

I understand there is a big problem with gas.

Yes, there is. But, first of all,

do you fancy seeing how good you are at sheep herding?

Well, I've never done it before, but I'm up for giving it a go.

-Right, let's go!

-What do I do?

You pretend to be a dog.

They go low, don't they?

Woof, woof!

That didn't work.

-Slowly.

-Slowly.

Walk.

Ha-ha! Sheep herding technique, nailed.

Oh, no! They've separated.

Yes, yes, yes. Good, good, good.

Is that where we want them to go? Yes!

Yes!

A piece of cake.

OK, so now we've got them in here, what's the plan?

We're now going to show you how to collect some gas.

-What? That's gross. Are you serious?

-Yep, I am.

Nobody warned me about this, did you? You kept that quiet, cheekies!

Right, which end are we collecting gas from? Please say their heads.

From their heads.

-Good, OK.

-And they burp it out here.

I'll show you how we do it.

How you on earth do you collect their burps?

Right, you hold that.

-This is a burp collector, is it?

-That's a burp collector.

It doesn't hurt it or anything? They don't mind this?

No, it won't hurt you, either.

Stand over the animal.

-Over it?

-Yeah.

Right, and we put...

So, what we're doing here is we're putting on a halter

to hold the gas collection equipment.

OK. Oh, I just felt it burp in my hands. Ugh! It went...

A really rumbly one. A little burp collector round your neck.

This has got to be one of the weirdest things I've ever done.

-So, burp out of its mouth...

-Yeah.

Up through the tube, all along here and into the burp collector.

'The burpometer will collect burps for 24 hours

'during which time our gassy guzzlers burp constantly.

BURP!

Did you just burp in my face? BAA!

Please, don't do that again.

And is it just gas coming out of their...mouths?

A small amount comes out of their bottoms as well.

-There's an element of...windiness, too.

-Yes. In both directions.

Glad I'm standing right by that one's bottom.

PARP! Pardon you.

Pardon EWE, ha! Get it?!

Pardon...Ewe.

'When sheep eat, tiny microbes in their stomach

'digest the food and produce gas.

'By measuring how much they make, Harry can find ways to...

'..stem the flow.'

Oh! And they're off. They couldn't wait to go!

'With their gas bags fitted, the sheep just have to do their thing.

'But I can't stand around and watch sheep burp all day

'so it's time for a bit of science.'

OK, so they're busy burping away out there. Why is the gas a problem?

Well, the gas is methane which is a greenhouse gas

so it traps heat in the atmosphere and it is contributing

to the temperature increase that is happening in the world.

'Global warming can lead to wildfires, drought, storms,

'flooding and, ultimately, death for people and wildlife.

'So, Harry's robo-sheep research is crucial to bring down the burping.'

What have your results shown so far?

Well, we know that if you feed them different things

we get different amounts of gas.

So we can perhaps change what they eat.

That would be like us restricting Brussels sprouts, red cabbage,

baked beans, things like that...

We would give them less of the sheep equivalent of Brussels sprouts.

-Yeah!

-And, interestingly enough, some sheep produce more gas

than others, even when you feed them the same.

It's a bit like humans.

Some humans are a lot more gassy than others.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

BREAKING WIND

What?!

'All this means it's now possible to breed sheep

'and, hopefully, one day, crew, that produce less gas.'

You're doing a good job, Burpy, Belchy, Gassy, Windy and Pumpy.

BLEATING

Well, as nightmares go, collecting a load of sheep burps

has to take the biscuit, and global warming is a serious nightmare.

But the question is, will their gas lift these sheep to top place

and make them my worst nightmare?

Next up is a prized fighter,

a critter whose very shape is made for brawling.

So, today, I've come to find out if their battling skills are worthy

of a tilt at the nightmare title.

'To forage for these feisty forest fighters,

'I've teamed up with biologist and weevil referee Greg.

'He's promised me a ringside seat.'

All right, then, Greg, what exactly are we looking for today?

We're looking for giraffe weevils.

Giraffe weevil. What's a weevil?

A weevil is a kind of beetle and a giraffe weevil

is a species that's only here in New Zealand.

It's got a really, really long nose.

It kind of looks a bit like a giraffe's neck.

'Biologists seem to have a habit of giving things the wrong name.

'Guinea pig.

GRUNTING

Not a pig.

'Seahorse.

WHINNYING

'Not a horse.

'Giraffe weevil.

'You get my point.'

So, I've heard they like to fight a bit.

They do, yeah.

-Males can get pretty violent, try to flick each other off the tree.

-Oh!

'This I have to see.

'Let's hope we-vil find one.'

'They're particularly fond of karaka trees so that seems like

'a good place to look for our royal rumble.'

What sort of size are they? What am I looking for?

So, they kind of look a bit like a stick.

-They look like a stick?

-Yeah, unfortunately.

That's going to be easy to find in here!

'But Greg's trained eye soon notices a nose.'

Oh, here's a nice big male on the underside of the log.

Got one, got one? I'm coming round. Oh, yes, here. Look!

No, hang on, that's weird-looking. Where's its head?

So, all of that long nose at the front is all part of its head.

His eyes are about halfway down the length of him.

It's amazing he doesn't tip over. A bit sort of...

'For prize-fighters, they seem pretty harmless.'

That's all its nose?

That's right, and you can also see

their antennae coming right off the end here.

Yeah, so it's sensing things with those?

Exactly. That's what they use to smell, to find their way around.

And his jaws are right at the end as well.

They use those to grab onto one another when they're fighting.

'Enough talk of fighting, I want to see this with my own eyes.'

Schnozz face, shall we put you back?

'And just next door is the perfect arena. The tree trunk!

'Home of the biggest battle of the century.

'Almost immediately, our first contender enters the ring.

'It's him, it's Big Schnozz!

'Measuring in at nine centimetres.

Ooh, that one is significantly bigger, isn't it?

Look, it's a beast!

It's the biggest one on the tree so he's probably the one winning

all the fights and getting to mate with all the females.

'Because that's what all the fighting's about -

'the ladies, of course!'

WOLF-WHISTLE

'They're the ones with the smaller noses,

'and when males find one they like, they stand over them

'to claim them as their own.

'So, who's going to step up and face...

Anyone see any weevils doing any fighting business?

Anyone?

The crowd's getting impatient.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Not that I'm encouraging fighting, but I am.

'Yeah, I know. Normally, I'm all for playing nicely

'and being kind to one another,

'but I have come halfway round the world to see this match

'and Greg's assured me they don't get hurt.

'Finally, could this be our opponent?'

Come on, come on down. Have a scrap.

Could we have some argy-bargy?

'Nope, he's seen the opposition and scarpered.'

'But, just as we are about to give up,

'Big Schnozz disappears to intimidate some other weevils

'and a couple of amateurs step into the ring.

'One, fiercely guarding his girlfriend.'

Right, OK.

We've got some... He's trying to pull that male off.

-Oh, look at this!

-There, you see? He's grabbed him.

-That was, like, quite aggressive, wasn't it?

-Good.

'OK, not the fight of the century

'but when these evil weevils really get stuck in, it looks like this.

'The Nose Lock, where they try and knock each other off the tree.

'The Sword Fight, where they...try and knock each other off the tree.

'And The All-out Body Tumble, where...

'yeah, you've guessed it, they try and knock each other off the tree.

'With their rival down, the winner can claim their trophy,

'ie the other guy's girlfriend.'

'In weevil world, big is definitely best,

'which is probably why this lot are steering well clear of...'

Well, it wasn't actually a Rumble in the Jungle, but these

bizarre beasties can be pretty feisty when it comes down to it,

literally sticking their nose right in it.

But will these big-nosed battlers become my worst nightmare?

I'm not so sure.

Don't tell him I said that.

There we are, bags all packed, ready for the long flight home.

Just got to decide which critter is going to become

my worst New Zealand nightmare.

'Wicked weevils? Nah, too wussy.

'Gassy guzzlers? Well, they don't mean to harm the world,

'they're just hungry.'

BELCHING

So, for dazzling dastardliness and cunning trickery,

the fungus gnat, not to mention all those other beasties in the

dark caves of New Zealand, they are going to be my Worst Nightmare.

Eugh! Is that other sheep weeing?

SHEEP BLEATS

Oh, no, it's sniffing its bottom! Gross!