Episode 5 Nowhere Boys


Episode 5

Drama series. Felix inadvertently discovers that all the boys possess magical abilities after a swarm of malevolent bees attack them in their secret hideout.


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Transcript


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Felix, get your father.

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-How did it go at the doctor's?

-What's your problem?

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Oscar can walk, but my family can't remember me.

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Jake, son.

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It's not just that we've been forgotten. There are whole new lives.

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Like a different version of the same reality.

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-Mum!

-I don't have a son.

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Are you that nut job who came to my house yesterday?

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What are you doing talking to my girlfriend?

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Run!

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It was no storm.

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I think there might be forces at play which we don't understand.

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She was that creepy woman from the forest.

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Where'd you get that from?

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-Adults only.

-The amulet picks you.

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Hey, watch out!

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You just saved my life.

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It is so cool up here, Oscar. You can see the whole of Bremin.

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Just a little bit further.

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-Come on, Oskie, what are you scared of?

-I'm not "scared".

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Felix...!

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-Aah...!

-Oscar, no!

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My baby...

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My poor baby boy...

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He's my baby...

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This porridge is gross.

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-Oh, poor baby...

-But it's not even cooked.

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Harden up, Andy, porridge is the breakfast of champions.

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Oh, a raw food movement, cool!

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STOMACH GURGLES

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-There's nothing left.

-You snooze, you lose.

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-Thanks a lot, so-called friends.

-You're welcome, freak.

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Will you stop calling me "freak"?

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ALL: No.

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I thought freakiness was his thing.

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-Do we have toilet paper?

-Dude, we don't even have a toilet.

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STOMACH GURGLES

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Hey, Oscar, just coming...

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to see you.

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You know... When you run away from us...

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Really hurts our feelings.

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-Doesn't it, Dyl'?

-Yeah.

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Would you look at that.

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The weirdo has a little toy.

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P-please don't...

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-Please don't break it. It's a Valtirian.

-Come on, guys, just... leave him alone.

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You hear something, Dyl'?

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-Nup.

-Nup?

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It's what you get for being such a freak in front of us.

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Don't call him a freak!

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-Get off!

-Run, Oscar, run!

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Well, I think we can all agree that was unexpected...

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Now, if you'll just excuse me...

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This is a terrible idea. We should be laying low.

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No, no, no, no, we impress a few people,

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elevate our social status, and then it's "goodbye scavenging".

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People'll be lining up to invite us to dinner.

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You know, speaking of jobs, we could try making some cash.

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Way ahead of you, big man.

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Hello, Bremin. Prepare to fall in love with me.

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Again.

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Fascinating.

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It's like he's the president of his own fan club.

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Jake...

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First, I will lure them in.

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Fearlessly acting as bait.

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Then, when Trent and Dylan attack,

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the Trianite mothership will close in from behind

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and squash their heads!

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-And...

-Oscar!

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Oscar. Just bringing back your thingy.

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Before you appeared, I was number...four

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on Trent's and Dylan's bully list and now I'm like two.

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In front of Mike Parker. He brings a stuffed unicorn to school.

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A unicorn.

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-But you needed help.

-I needed to be left alone.

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Yeah, that was working out well for you.

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Ah, just go away!

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And what if I don't?

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What if I stay here?

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Pitch a little Tepee.

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What if everybody hears about the freak in the front yard,

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and I tell them we're BFFs.

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I also heard you talking to yourself.

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-I wasn't talking to myself.

-Then who were you talking to?

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His name... is Centaurus the Deadly.

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Warrior outcast of the Sarax Tribe.

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"Warrior outcast"... Very Metal.

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It's different to how I had it. I mean, would...have it.

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Why is it that you want to hang out with me so much?

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-It's weird.

-I think we could be a good team.

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We're similar.

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I don't see any similarities.

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-You must really love that magazine.

-No... I have to cut out the coupons.

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20 equals one of the Valtirian cruisers that was obliterated today.

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-Because of you.

-You know, if I helped,

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we could get it done in half the time.

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Oscar!

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Oscar? I know you're in there.

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Can't people tell that I'm working here?

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Oh, the beast has left the swamp.

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Look, this is serious. My dog, Wikileaks, is missing.

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Look, I'd love to help, I'd really would, but...

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I... I'm too busy, you know? Not...caring.

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-You?

-You remember me!

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You were with the guy from the bus.

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-He saved my life.

-I can help you look for Wikileaks.

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He's more likely to run if he sees...

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You... What did you say your friend's name was, again?

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I didn't. It's Andy.

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Andy...

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Tell him..."Ellen says hi".

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-And I'm Felix.

-Yeah... Sure.

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FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

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More friends, Oscar... Mr Popular!

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Mum...please, go back in the house. And...she is not my friend.

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-I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.

-I'm Felix.

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You have a lovely place, Mrs Ferne.

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Thank you, Felix.

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SHE SNEEZES

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Sorry, must be hay fever.

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-Oh!

-I think I need antihistamines.

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You know, you should come over more often, Felix.

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Wouldn't that be wonderful, Oscar? I'm just ducking to the chemist.

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Have fun, boys.

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Hi.

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How can I help you?

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Uhm...my dad and I are moving here.

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Um, to Bremin, and he...sent me in to have a look at some houses to rent.

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-Your dad sent you here?

-Yeah.

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And did your dad send you round to my house, too?

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Oh, yeah, sorry, that was a... That was a dare. A friend of mine dared me.

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A friend of yours dared you to go to a complete stranger

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and call her your mother.

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Yep.

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-Well, you have strange friends.

-Yeah, not by choice.

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All right, so, what sort of property are we looking at?

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Uh... A proper house, something big...

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-Mhm...

-View of the river...

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With a big backyard.

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You like the Bremin Bandicoots!

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-I love the Bandicoots, yes.

-I love the Bandicoots, too...

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Well, I will, when I get here.

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Obviously, I don't yet, because I'm new, but...

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-I'm sure I will.

-It can be hard being new.

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Especially when you miss people from back home.

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All right, now, I've a few ideas, here, look.

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-Are you OK?

-No, my head is killing me.

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-Ooh...

-You never get headaches.

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No, I don't... Oh, OK.

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Do you want me to get you some painkillers?

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No, it's all right, I'll be fine.

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You just stay here, I'll be back in a minute, all right?

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Thank you for the coupon assistance. Now...goodbye and have a...

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long and productive life.

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What? You going to give me a gold star and send me on my way?

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BUZZING

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Oscar... We have to go inside. Now.

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-Yes, we do.

-Run!

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Things like this keep happening.

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Weird weather, creepy things that go bang in the night.

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Now, crazy bees!

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Be gone!

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You think I'm insane, don't you?

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There are 23 different alien species living among us right now.

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Communicating via telepathy.

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Maybe you're one of them. The bees can tell.

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-We have to get help.

-"We"? You have to get help.

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-I'm going to stay here, make a sandwich.

-You want to be stuck here with them?

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What if they get in here?

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Can you imagine what it'd be like to be killed by 10,000 bee stings?

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Excruciating.

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Lucky my mum is mental about insects.

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Apparently, these are much better at protecting us from bees.

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-You got any more?

-Yeah.

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OK. The enemy are out the front.

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So we need to take the secret escape route.

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Through the neighbours' yard.

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How do you know about the secret escape route?

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Whoa, telepathy!

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All righty, give generously to a skater in need.

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I'll be here all day. OK?

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Hey, don't forget. I do requests.

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Anyone?

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It was him. He broke into our house.

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-I thought it was a mate's place.

-Oh, come on!

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There was a break and enter at Bremin High last weekend.

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-You know anything about that?

-No.

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-You from around here?

-No.

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-So what are you doing here?

-Holiday.

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-In Bremin.

-Yes.

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No skating on the footpath.

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Let that be your first and final warning, OK?

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Great.

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Quite an entrance... What are you trying to scam today?

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-Useless.

-I could have told you that.

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-I need the book.

-The book you stole from my store room?

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I borrowed it! For...half a minute.

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I-I think he's an alien. He's got telepathy.

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Really?

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-What am I thinking?

-You're thinking...

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I hate teenage boys and I wish they would stop coming into my shop.

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Close enough.

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INAUDIBLE

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Are you Andy?

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My mission was to deliver this.

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-What is that?

-Lavender.

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"U plus M to the power of e equals heart symbol"?

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-What's "M to the power of e"?

-It's "You plus me equals love".

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But not as in me.

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-Who's it from?

-That's a secret.

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This is the second strangest thing that's ever happened to me.

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BUZZING

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You sure you didn't just... Disturb their hive?

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No. They chased us into the house, and then, here.

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And before that, there was this strange, howling storm.

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-Hmm. Elemental attacks.

-What are they?

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Earth, Fire, Water and Air

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are the building blocks of everything that we know,

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and for some reason, they appear hellbent on ruining your day.

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Most of the people that come into my shop are after scented candles and...

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Dolphin statues, but you're different, Felix.

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Are you the real thing?

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Will you help me if I am?

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Then, yes.

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This is very special.

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It can protect against elemental attacks.

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-What is that?

-It's her Book of Shadows.

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It's where she keeps her spells.

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Here it is.

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This is the spell to activate the talisman.

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-You do the next part.

-Why me?

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I need to make sure you're for real.

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Seal the circle.

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Divinity of the Elements...

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I summon Thee.

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Earth...

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Water...

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Air...

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Fire.

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Within this stone, I invoke Ye place

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your greatest strength, your kindest grace.

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And while this stone remains at hand

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Thou shalt be safe throughout this land.

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Behold, the Elemental Talisman.

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-Well, that was disappointing.

-And painful!

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You failed the test. I want my talisman back.

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But I was just doing what you told me to do.

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Maybe they're alien bees.

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That's why they're immune to your magic.

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-Maybe you're right.

-I am...?

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If what's attacking us comes from another world,

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then we need to use Elements from another world!

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And where do we get Elements from another world?

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I have an idea.

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ENGINE STARTS

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Why are you giving me this?

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I've never been admired before.

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Except by my parents, but... That's compulsory.

0:17:410:17:44

Uh, I need some advice. What's the full statute of obligation?

0:17:440:17:47

You know, the more you talk, the less I understand?

0:17:470:17:49

You still here. Sarah's a bit under the weather, mate.

0:17:530:17:56

-It's OK. I can wait.

-She's gone home for the day, mate.

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Come on, let's go get Sam.

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I'll be back tomorrow.

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If you make that, you can keep the board you stole off me.

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It's my board, anyway.

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I am Bremin's Tony Hawk. The greatest of all time.

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"First and last warning", remember?

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I'll be taking that board.

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You know what would make me happy? If I never saw your face again.

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Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

0:18:420:18:44

-That cop... He's my dad!

-I had no idea.

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But he shouldn't be. A cop.

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-Not in the real world.

-What is he, then?

0:18:590:19:01

He's the world's biggest loser.

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You know the strangest thing about this experience?

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-How much you're loving it?

-We don't exist here.

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And our non-existence has changed this world.

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Take your family, Sam. You were never born.

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But a few months later, your parents had another son.

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-And they gave him the same name. Sammy.

-OK? "Pcch!"

0:19:160:19:19

-That's the sound of my mind-blowing.

-And the two of you are so alike.

0:19:190:19:22

What?!

0:19:220:19:23

And you, Jake, in the old world, your mother was single.

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-And your father was a loser. Your words.

-And your point is?

0:19:270:19:30

But in this world... Your mother is married. With a great job.

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And your father is an officer of the law.

0:19:330:19:35

Right, so by being born, I ruined both my parents' lives, yeah?

0:19:350:19:38

-I didn't mean it to sound like it did.

-You mean, like the truth?

0:19:380:19:41

Good one, Andy. "Open mouth, change feet."

0:19:420:19:45

-This is where you live?

-Well, you live in a magic shop.

0:20:020:20:06

Shall I come in?

0:20:060:20:07

I think it's going to be hard enough to explain Oscar.

0:20:070:20:10

So...what's our plan?

0:20:140:20:16

Find our Elements.

0:20:160:20:18

BUZZING

0:20:180:20:19

Let's start by running.

0:20:210:20:23

-What's he doing here?

-That doesn't matter right now.

0:20:290:20:31

So what does he know?

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There's a swarm of killer alien bees right outside that door.

0:20:320:20:34

Yeah, right...

0:20:340:20:35

-Aah!

-Aah!

-Guys!

0:20:370:20:40

Wait! CFCs are terrible for the environment.

0:20:400:20:43

Oh, it's OK, these're organic.

0:20:430:20:45

They're coming in through the gaps!

0:20:450:20:47

So, what do we do next?

0:20:470:20:48

Throughout history, human beings have been associated with the Elements.

0:20:480:20:52

Jake, there's a hole over here. We need something to fill it, a shoe!

0:20:520:20:55

-Use your own!

-Too small! Throw me one of yours.

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Jake - practical, stubborn, brutish - Earth.

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So, the other boys are the other Elements!

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I hope. Andy - fluid thinker, kind of wet - Water.

0:21:090:21:13

Perimeter breach!

0:21:130:21:14

Here, here...

0:21:230:21:24

Snot. Gross...

0:21:290:21:31

OK. That leaves selfish, superficial, lives in the clouds - Sam. Air.

0:21:310:21:36

We just have to catch his breath.

0:21:360:21:37

This is it! The championship quarter! Prepare for war!

0:21:390:21:43

HE BREAKS WIND

0:21:430:21:44

Who let rip?

0:21:440:21:46

I hope that's not the last thing I ever smell!

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THEY ALL SHOUT

0:21:480:21:49

Divinity of the Elements...

0:21:580:22:00

I invoke Thee.

0:22:000:22:01

ALL: Whoa!

0:22:180:22:19

Where's... Where's Felix?

0:22:190:22:21

Coming out to collect your Most Useless Chicken Award?

0:22:280:22:32

-D minus for participation, freak.

-You seemed to have it under control.

0:22:320:22:36

You just...left.

0:22:360:22:38

What are you talking about? Felix's magic spell saved us.

0:22:380:22:41

Oscar, he hid under the desk.

0:22:410:22:44

See what I mean?

0:22:470:22:49

Presenting... The Elemental Talisman.

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It doesn't feel any different.

0:23:020:23:03

Trust me. This is real magic.

0:23:030:23:06

You know... You should come over more often.

0:23:070:23:10

-Really?

-Yeah. I think we make a good team.

0:23:100:23:13

So do I.

0:23:150:23:16

Who's up for a home-cooked meal?

0:23:320:23:33

Small problem, we don't have food.

0:23:330:23:35

Your money should get us some basics.

0:23:350:23:36

-What money?

-Selfish fool.

0:23:360:23:39

And to think that in the old world, you two were good friends.

0:23:390:23:41

Yeah, well, in the old world I had access to a fridge full of food.

0:23:410:23:44

Ooh, mysterious!

0:23:440:23:47

Yes, I am.

0:23:470:23:48

Hey, Police!

0:23:480:23:50

-What's your name?

-Jake.

-Jake who?

0:23:500:23:52

Just Jake.

0:23:520:23:53

You tell me who your parents are and we'll drop these charges.

0:23:530:23:56

If Jake's been arrested it won't take them long to find the rest of us.

0:23:560:23:58

-It's got footage of us trashing the gym!

-Gotcha!

0:23:580:24:01

You need an adult to help get you into the police station?

0:24:010:24:03

We still have to get past the crows.

0:24:030:24:06

Janet Hawker, child protection services.

0:24:060:24:07

- Tell me the truth. - You want the truth?

0:24:070:24:09

Run!

0:24:090:24:10

What will happen if we can't get to Jake in time?

0:24:100:24:13

He'll be fostered out, probably.

0:24:130:24:14

We can't let that happen!

0:24:140:24:16

Felix inadvertently discovers that all the boys possess magical abilities after a swarm of malevolent bees attack them in their secret hideout. It becomes clear that the evil threat is growing stronger.


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