Episode 5 Nowhere Boys

Felix, get your father.

-How did it go at the doctor's?

-What's your problem?

Oscar can walk, but my family can't remember me.

Jake, son.

It's not just that we've been forgotten. There are whole new lives.

Like a different version of the same reality.

-Mum!

-I don't have a son.

Are you that nut job who came to my house yesterday?

What are you doing talking to my girlfriend?

Run!

It was no storm.

I think there might be forces at play which we don't understand.

She was that creepy woman from the forest.

Where'd you get that from?

-Adults only.

-The amulet picks you.

Hey, watch out!

You just saved my life.

It is so cool up here, Oscar. You can see the whole of Bremin.

Just a little bit further.

-Come on, Oskie, what are you scared of?

-I'm not "scared".

Felix...!

-Aah...!

-Oscar, no!

My baby...

My poor baby boy...

He's my baby...

This porridge is gross.

-Oh, poor baby...

-But it's not even cooked.

Harden up, Andy, porridge is the breakfast of champions.

Oh, a raw food movement, cool!

STOMACH GURGLES

-There's nothing left.

-You snooze, you lose.

-Thanks a lot, so-called friends.

-You're welcome, freak.

Will you stop calling me "freak"?

ALL: No.

I thought freakiness was his thing.

-Do we have toilet paper?

-Dude, we don't even have a toilet.

STOMACH GURGLES

Hey, Oscar, just coming...

to see you.

You know... When you run away from us...

Really hurts our feelings.

-Doesn't it, Dyl'?

-Yeah.

Would you look at that.

The weirdo has a little toy.

P-please don't...

-Please don't break it. It's a Valtirian.

-Come on, guys, just... leave him alone.

You hear something, Dyl'?

-Nup.

-Nup?

It's what you get for being such a freak in front of us.

Don't call him a freak!

-Get off!

-Run, Oscar, run!

Well, I think we can all agree that was unexpected...

Now, if you'll just excuse me...

This is a terrible idea. We should be laying low.

No, no, no, no, we impress a few people,

elevate our social status, and then it's "goodbye scavenging".

People'll be lining up to invite us to dinner.

You know, speaking of jobs, we could try making some cash.

Way ahead of you, big man.

Hello, Bremin. Prepare to fall in love with me.

Again.

Fascinating.

It's like he's the president of his own fan club.

Jake...

First, I will lure them in.

Fearlessly acting as bait.

Then, when Trent and Dylan attack,

the Trianite mothership will close in from behind

and squash their heads!

-And...

-Oscar!

Oscar. Just bringing back your thingy.

Before you appeared, I was number...four

on Trent's and Dylan's bully list and now I'm like two.

In front of Mike Parker. He brings a stuffed unicorn to school.

A unicorn.

-But you needed help.

-I needed to be left alone.

Yeah, that was working out well for you.

Ah, just go away!

And what if I don't?

What if I stay here?

Pitch a little Tepee.

What if everybody hears about the freak in the front yard,

and I tell them we're BFFs.

I also heard you talking to yourself.

-I wasn't talking to myself.

-Then who were you talking to?

His name... is Centaurus the Deadly.

Warrior outcast of the Sarax Tribe.

"Warrior outcast"... Very Metal.

It's different to how I had it. I mean, would...have it.

Why is it that you want to hang out with me so much?

-It's weird.

-I think we could be a good team.

We're similar.

I don't see any similarities.

-You must really love that magazine.

-No... I have to cut out the coupons.

20 equals one of the Valtirian cruisers that was obliterated today.

-Because of you.

-You know, if I helped,

we could get it done in half the time.

Oscar!

Oscar? I know you're in there.

Can't people tell that I'm working here?

Oh, the beast has left the swamp.

Look, this is serious. My dog, Wikileaks, is missing.

Look, I'd love to help, I'd really would, but...

I... I'm too busy, you know? Not...caring.

-You?

-You remember me!

You were with the guy from the bus.

-He saved my life.

-I can help you look for Wikileaks.

He's more likely to run if he sees...

You... What did you say your friend's name was, again?

I didn't. It's Andy.

Andy...

Tell him..."Ellen says hi".

-And I'm Felix.

-Yeah... Sure.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

More friends, Oscar... Mr Popular!

Mum...please, go back in the house. And...she is not my friend.

-I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.

-I'm Felix.

You have a lovely place, Mrs Ferne.

Thank you, Felix.

SHE SNEEZES

Sorry, must be hay fever.

-Oh!

-I think I need antihistamines.

You know, you should come over more often, Felix.

Wouldn't that be wonderful, Oscar? I'm just ducking to the chemist.

Have fun, boys.

Hi.

How can I help you?

Uhm...my dad and I are moving here.

Um, to Bremin, and he...sent me in to have a look at some houses to rent.

-Your dad sent you here?

-Yeah.

And did your dad send you round to my house, too?

Oh, yeah, sorry, that was a... That was a dare. A friend of mine dared me.

A friend of yours dared you to go to a complete stranger

and call her your mother.

Yep.

-Well, you have strange friends.

-Yeah, not by choice.

All right, so, what sort of property are we looking at?

Uh... A proper house, something big...

-Mhm...

-View of the river...

With a big backyard.

You like the Bremin Bandicoots!

-I love the Bandicoots, yes.

-I love the Bandicoots, too...

Well, I will, when I get here.

Obviously, I don't yet, because I'm new, but...

-I'm sure I will.

-It can be hard being new.

Especially when you miss people from back home.

All right, now, I've a few ideas, here, look.

-Are you OK?

-No, my head is killing me.

-Ooh...

-You never get headaches.

No, I don't... Oh, OK.

Do you want me to get you some painkillers?

No, it's all right, I'll be fine.

You just stay here, I'll be back in a minute, all right?

Thank you for the coupon assistance. Now...goodbye and have a...

long and productive life.

What? You going to give me a gold star and send me on my way?

BUZZING

Oscar... We have to go inside. Now.

-Yes, we do.

-Run!

Things like this keep happening.

Weird weather, creepy things that go bang in the night.

Now, crazy bees!

Be gone!

You think I'm insane, don't you?

There are 23 different alien species living among us right now.

Communicating via telepathy.

Maybe you're one of them. The bees can tell.

-We have to get help.

-"We"? You have to get help.

-I'm going to stay here, make a sandwich.

-You want to be stuck here with them?

What if they get in here?

Can you imagine what it'd be like to be killed by 10,000 bee stings?

Excruciating.

Lucky my mum is mental about insects.

Apparently, these are much better at protecting us from bees.

-You got any more?

-Yeah.

OK. The enemy are out the front.

So we need to take the secret escape route.

Through the neighbours' yard.

How do you know about the secret escape route?

Whoa, telepathy!

All righty, give generously to a skater in need.

I'll be here all day. OK?

Hey, don't forget. I do requests.

Anyone?

It was him. He broke into our house.

-I thought it was a mate's place.

-Oh, come on!

There was a break and enter at Bremin High last weekend.

-You know anything about that?

-No.

-You from around here?

-No.

-So what are you doing here?

-Holiday.

-In Bremin.

-Yes.

No skating on the footpath.

Let that be your first and final warning, OK?

Great.

Quite an entrance... What are you trying to scam today?

-Useless.

-I could have told you that.

-I need the book.

-The book you stole from my store room?

I borrowed it! For...half a minute.

I-I think he's an alien. He's got telepathy.

Really?

-What am I thinking?

-You're thinking...

I hate teenage boys and I wish they would stop coming into my shop.

Close enough.

INAUDIBLE

Are you Andy?

My mission was to deliver this.

-What is that?

-Lavender.

"U plus M to the power of e equals heart symbol"?

-What's "M to the power of e"?

-It's "You plus me equals love".

But not as in me.

-Who's it from?

-That's a secret.

This is the second strangest thing that's ever happened to me.

BUZZING

You sure you didn't just... Disturb their hive?

No. They chased us into the house, and then, here.

And before that, there was this strange, howling storm.

-Hmm. Elemental attacks.

-What are they?

Earth, Fire, Water and Air

are the building blocks of everything that we know,

and for some reason, they appear hellbent on ruining your day.

Most of the people that come into my shop are after scented candles and...

Dolphin statues, but you're different, Felix.

Are you the real thing?

Will you help me if I am?

Then, yes.

This is very special.

It can protect against elemental attacks.

-What is that?

-It's her Book of Shadows.

It's where she keeps her spells.

Here it is.

This is the spell to activate the talisman.

-You do the next part.

-Why me?

I need to make sure you're for real.

Seal the circle.

Divinity of the Elements...

I summon Thee.

Earth...

Water...

Air...

Fire.

Within this stone, I invoke Ye place

your greatest strength, your kindest grace.

And while this stone remains at hand

Thou shalt be safe throughout this land.

Behold, the Elemental Talisman.

-Well, that was disappointing.

-And painful!

You failed the test. I want my talisman back.

But I was just doing what you told me to do.

Maybe they're alien bees.

That's why they're immune to your magic.

-Maybe you're right.

-I am...?

If what's attacking us comes from another world,

then we need to use Elements from another world!

And where do we get Elements from another world?

I have an idea.

ENGINE STARTS

Why are you giving me this?

I've never been admired before.

Except by my parents, but... That's compulsory.

Uh, I need some advice. What's the full statute of obligation?

You know, the more you talk, the less I understand?

You still here. Sarah's a bit under the weather, mate.

-It's OK. I can wait.

-She's gone home for the day, mate.

Come on, let's go get Sam.

I'll be back tomorrow.

If you make that, you can keep the board you stole off me.

It's my board, anyway.

I am Bremin's Tony Hawk. The greatest of all time.

"First and last warning", remember?

I'll be taking that board.

You know what would make me happy? If I never saw your face again.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

-That cop... He's my dad!

-I had no idea.

But he shouldn't be. A cop.

-Not in the real world.

-What is he, then?

He's the world's biggest loser.

You know the strangest thing about this experience?

-How much you're loving it?

-We don't exist here.

And our non-existence has changed this world.

Take your family, Sam. You were never born.

But a few months later, your parents had another son.

-And they gave him the same name. Sammy.

-OK? "Pcch!"

-That's the sound of my mind-blowing.

-And the two of you are so alike.

What?!

And you, Jake, in the old world, your mother was single.

-And your father was a loser. Your words.

-And your point is?

But in this world... Your mother is married. With a great job.

And your father is an officer of the law.

Right, so by being born, I ruined both my parents' lives, yeah?

-I didn't mean it to sound like it did.

-You mean, like the truth?

Good one, Andy. "Open mouth, change feet."

-This is where you live?

-Well, you live in a magic shop.

Shall I come in?

I think it's going to be hard enough to explain Oscar.

So...what's our plan?

Find our Elements.

BUZZING

Let's start by running.

-What's he doing here?

-That doesn't matter right now.

So what does he know?

There's a swarm of killer alien bees right outside that door.

Yeah, right...

-Aah!

-Aah!

-Guys!

Wait! CFCs are terrible for the environment.

Oh, it's OK, these're organic.

They're coming in through the gaps!

So, what do we do next?

Throughout history, human beings have been associated with the Elements.

Jake, there's a hole over here. We need something to fill it, a shoe!

-Use your own!

-Too small! Throw me one of yours.

Jake - practical, stubborn, brutish - Earth.

So, the other boys are the other Elements!

I hope. Andy - fluid thinker, kind of wet - Water.

Perimeter breach!

Here, here...

Snot. Gross...

OK. That leaves selfish, superficial, lives in the clouds - Sam. Air.

We just have to catch his breath.

This is it! The championship quarter! Prepare for war!

HE BREAKS WIND

Who let rip?

I hope that's not the last thing I ever smell!

THEY ALL SHOUT

Divinity of the Elements...

I invoke Thee.

ALL: Whoa!

Where's... Where's Felix?

Coming out to collect your Most Useless Chicken Award?

-D minus for participation, freak.

-You seemed to have it under control.

You just...left.

What are you talking about? Felix's magic spell saved us.

Oscar, he hid under the desk.

See what I mean?

Presenting... The Elemental Talisman.

It doesn't feel any different.

Trust me. This is real magic.

You know... You should come over more often.

-Really?

-Yeah. I think we make a good team.

So do I.

Who's up for a home-cooked meal?

Small problem, we don't have food.

Your money should get us some basics.

-What money?

-Selfish fool.

And to think that in the old world, you two were good friends.

Yeah, well, in the old world I had access to a fridge full of food.

Ooh, mysterious!

Yes, I am.

Hey, Police!

-What's your name?

-Jake.

-Jake who?

Just Jake.

You tell me who your parents are and we'll drop these charges.

If Jake's been arrested it won't take them long to find the rest of us.

-It's got footage of us trashing the gym!

-Gotcha!

You need an adult to help get you into the police station?

We still have to get past the crows.

Janet Hawker, child protection services.

- Tell me the truth. - You want the truth?

Run!

What will happen if we can't get to Jake in time?

He'll be fostered out, probably.

We can't let that happen!