Train Guards Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll


Train Guards

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PAN PIPE MUSIC

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# Here we are - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Best by far - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# We're alpacas from the Andes

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# With hooves instead of handies

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# No two others can match Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Nuzzle and Scratch! #

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-SHRILL WHISTLE

-Aargh!

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-Oh!

-NUZZLE AND SCRATCH LAUGH

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Aargh!

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Brrr! Caught you, Captain!

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Ah... Eh? Who turned the lights out?

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-Heh-heh! Did you hear the whistle that we found?

-Ah! Whistle!

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-That'll come in handy for the twins' costumes.

-Tell me more.

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Today they want to dress up as train guards. Come on...

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-You have no idea what train guards look like, do you?

-No.

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There we go. Right, train guards...

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Oh!

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HONKY-TONK PIANO PLAYS

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I wish I could be a train guard.

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I'm the fancy-dress genie. Your wish is my command.

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Brilliant! A train guard uniform, please!

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Not a fairy!

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Put me down!

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Had a bit of a genie jam there. Let's try again.

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One train guard uniform coming up.

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That's better, thanks.

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-Oh, and you'll need a whistle and a ticket-puncher.

-Thanks!

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A whistle!

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Now you're a train guard,

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-you can sell tickets and help people catch the train.

-All aboard!

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Ha-ha! All aboard! Ha-ha!

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- Choo-choo! - Woo-woo!

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Chuff-chuff-chuff-chuffer!

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There you are - a fancy-dress costume for a fancy-dress party.

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-Yeah!

-Mm!

-Well, the twins are going to love being train guards.

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-Maybe they'll get to blow a whistle...

-Not now!

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-You two go and find the costumes, I'll open up the shop.

-OK.

-OK.

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# Dressing up is fun

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# You could be anyone

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-# A monkey

-Or a queen

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# Every costume you can dream

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# Everybody knows that wearing different clothes is fun

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# Dressing up is fun... #

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-Boo!

-Oh!

-Ha-ha!

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-Boo!

-Oh!

-Ha-ha-ha!

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-# Dressing up

-Dressing up

-Dressing up

-Just pass them to me

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-# Dressing up

-Dressing up

-Dressing up

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# Is very groovy

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-# Dressing up

-Dressing up

-Dressing up

-So raise your hoovie

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# If you know what you'll wear today

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# What will you wear today? #

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HARP RIPPLES

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We're train guards!

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Ah-ha-ha! Scratch! I've got a whistle! Ha-ha!

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-Ha-ha!

-Toot-toot!

-Look at you!

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Have you found those costumes yet?

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We have, Captain.

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And I've got a whistle. Ha-ha!

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Good! The twins will be here soon.

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Right... Oh, crumbs!

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A problem, Captain?

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I'll say! The hold's empty, lads.

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-We're out of sponge fingers.

-BOTH: No sponge fingers!

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Yes. You know how I like my sponge fingers with my tea.

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Oh! Why don't you two sale out to the sponge-finger shop,

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-get some fresh supplies?

-Aye-aye, Captain!

-We're on our way.

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-SHOP BELL RINGS

-Oh!

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I say, before you go, could you...?

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Ah, dear. Oh well, two alpacas dressed as train guards

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gone to buy sponge fingers... what could possibly go wrong?

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-Chuff-chuff... We're train guards!

-Train guards!

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-We will never stop.

-Until I blow my whistle.

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By the sponge-finger shop. THEY LAUGH

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Oh look! A train!

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Wow, maybe that train needs guarding.

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-Come along, train guard Nuzz.

-Oh, how exciting!

-Woo-woo!

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BELL TINKLES Train guard, I hear a ding!

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Oh! A ding means one thing...

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Someone is ringing a bell.

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-Ha-ha!

-Come on, ding-ding!

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BELL RINGS

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-Hello! Hello! I'm late. Are there train guards on this station?

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-Did someone say train guards?

-Yeah, that's us!

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-Ah, good!

-Train guard Nuzzle and train guard Scratch at your service.

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I'm here to catch the steam train to Bingley.

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I love the smoke. The steam and the noise of the guard's whistle.

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-Oh! I've got a whistle! Listen...

-No, no! You mustn't -

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-the train's not ready to leave.

-Being a train guard's boring.

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There's more to being a guard than blowing your whistle.

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-You could always sell me a train ticket.

-Yes, of course!

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-Any idea what he's talking about, Nuzzle?

-No.

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-A ticket, from this machine?

-Ah-ha! The old ticket machine.

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-Press the button and out pops the ticket.

-It's got a button?

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May I have a return ticket to Bingley, please?

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-One single ticket to Bangley coming right up, Madam.

-I'll press it.

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-Oh! Ah-ha!

-Ha-ha!

-Ha-ha!

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Tickets. Tickets. More tickets. More tickets.

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Look!

-I need that ticket. The train will be leaving soon.

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-Scratch...

-What?

-The tickets are still coming! Ha-ha!

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-Let me help you with that.

-Thank you! Oh...

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Oh!

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Ha-ha! One ticket to Bangley.

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-At last! Thank you.

-TRAIN TOOTS

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-Oh...

-I wonder what that is.

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That's to tell us that the train's ready to leave.

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-My train!

-The whistle! I've got to blow the whistle!

-Calm down, Nuzzle!

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-I must blow my whistle.

-He needs to blow his whistle!

-Whistle!

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My train - it's gone! This is a disaster.

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Oh, it is! I never got to blow my whistle.

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Well, there's another one in 15 minutes.

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You could fetch my luggage. That's not complicated.

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BOTH: Yes, sir!

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THEY GRUNT

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I wonder if Captain Cauliflower is as busy as we are.

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No, no, I imagine things are very quiet back at the...

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back at the...aargh!

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What are you doing down there?

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-HE SPEAKS ABOVE THE DIN

-I'll be with in a tick. There you go...

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Would you like a bag for this?

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Have a lovely party, everybody!

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Oh, peace at last! Ah... Oh!

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BOTH: Hello, Captain!

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-Hello, twins.

-We've come for our costumes.

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-Yeah, where are they?

-Good question!

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Nuzzle, Scratch, where are you?

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Where are those guards? The train will be here soon.

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Ah, there you are. Where's my luggage?

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-Luggage?

-Have we met?

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-Yes. You two train guards sold me a ticket, remember?

-Ticket, eh?

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-For the train to Bingley?

-Bingley! Oh yes, the train to Bangley.

-Yeah.

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-Other platform.

-What?

-You need the other platform

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-on the other side for the train to Bungley.

-Yes, over there.

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Are you sure?

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BOTH: Yes!

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Well, if you say so.

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-You are the train guards.

-That's right.

-Mm-hm.

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-Nice man.

-Very nice, very nice.

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Oh, here it comes now!

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What? It's going to the other platform!

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-Coo-ee! The train goes on this side.

-What?

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The train goes on this side.

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Oh...

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TRAIN TOOTS

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The train's about to go. Can I blow my whistle?

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No, that man isn't on it yet.

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TOOT! TOOT!

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Um... Oh. Um...

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My train!

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And I didn't get to blow my whistle again.

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There'll be another train soon, you can whistle then.

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-Really?

-I mustn't miss the next train.

-Don't worry,

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we'll make sure you do.

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Ah, trains...

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Woo-woo! Woo-woo!

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Chuffa-chuffa-chuffa-chuffa...

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Heh-heh!

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Where's that train?

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Tickets, please! Tickets, please!

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I can't wait to see the countryside whizz past my train window.

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-I always remember...

-TRAIN TOOTS

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Oh! Train! Tra-a-a-ain!

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-Marvellous!

-Mr Nuzzle, bring his luggage to the platform.

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Right, Mr Scratch.

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-Oh.

-Is there a p-rob-lem?

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This trolley is very heavy.

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Don't worry, train guard Nuzzle.

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I could take a bag for you.

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-That might help.

-That's a good idea.

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OK. I'll take this tiny one there, I think.

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Come on, then.

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Give it a big shove, Nuzz!

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All right!

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Open. Heh-heh.

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AHHH!

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Whoopsie! Heh-heh. Ooh! Where am I?

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Whoa! Whoa there! Hang on.

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I don't need to get a train. WHISTLE

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-Nuzzle! Stop with your whistles!

-My luggage!

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My Scratch!

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-My train!

-Whoa! Nuzzle!

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The train. It's leaving.

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Nuzzle! Nuzzle!

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-Nuzzle!

-Scratch?!

-Nuzzle! Nuzzle!

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-Nuzzle!

-Scratch!

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Scratch!

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What will I do? What will we do?!

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-Scratch is on the train!

-Don't worry.

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There's still the last train. You can get to Scratch

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-and I can have my train ride.

-Oh. Can I blow my whistle?

-Yes.

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-Hey-hey!

-Let's get these cases packed up for when it gets here.

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-We mustn't miss it.

-Yes, sir!

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# Helping out is fun Getting something done

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# Get set go and don't be slow We've only just begun

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# Whatever we may do There's laughter all day through

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# We must confess we make a mess when trying something new

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# Helping is fun

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# Helping is fun

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# Helping is fun

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# Getting stuff done

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# We're helping out with glee

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# That's our guarantee

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-# A chuckle makes a happy place as both of us agree. #

-Yes!

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# Helping is fun! #

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All your luggage ready to be loaded, sir.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Packing cases is fun, isn't it?

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Ah. I wonder if Captain Crabapple is having as much fun with the twins.

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-Where are our costumes?

-Your costumes! Oh, yes!

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Of course, your costumes!

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Train guards, wasn't it?

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Ooh! You'll like this. There's my platform.

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And in comes the 16:49.

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There it goes.

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The train now standing at platform 3 is the 1927 to Portsmouth Harbour,

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-calling at Clapham Junction, Woking, Guildford...

-We want our costumes!

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Of course you do. I'll just go and... Stay there.

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Oh! Oh! Almost at the station.

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I hope Nuzzle's there. Nuzzle, are you there?

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It's here.

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I can't see...

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-Remember, this is the last train. We mustn't miss it.

-Nuzzle! Nuzzola!

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I don't miss the train. I miss...

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I miss...

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-I miss...Scratch!

-Nuzzle!

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Scra-a-a-atch!

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Hey! What about my luggage? I'll carry it myself, shall I?

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-Scratch! Scratch!

-Nuzzle!

-I missed you!

-I missed you, too, Nuzzle!

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-I missed you more!

-MOBILE RINGS

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-Oh.

-Oh, hold on.

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-Hello. Train guard Nuzzle at your service.

-'Nuzzle!'

-Captain Carryon!

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-(It's the captain.)

-Oh, OK!

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Where are you? The twins are waiting for their costumes!

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We're at the train station. Scratch just rode the steam train.

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I thought you were at the sponge-finger shop!

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We'll get the fingers when we've got our passenger on the last train.

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He keeps missing them. I've not blown my whistle yet!

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-Ho-ho!

-Scratch, tell me all about it. What was the train like?

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It was OK. A bit bumpy, a bit steamy, and I missed Nuzzle.

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I love the smell and bumpety-bump of the old steam trains.

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TOOT!

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-The train's ready to go. Mustn't miss it.

-Don't worry.

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I'll soon have your luggage loaded.

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Great. Thanks.

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And that's the last of your luggage on the train.

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But...you've blocked the door!

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I'll have to go to another one.

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Yes, I suppose you will.

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Miss you, too, Captain.

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Yeah, OK, then. Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

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-Excuse me, I...

-Bye-bye. I'll miss you! bye-bye!

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-Bye!

-Excuse me, I...

-OK. I'll say goodbye properly.

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-Bye. Ha-ha.

-Excuse me?

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-Yes?

-I must get on this train.

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-And I must blow my whistle.

-No, no. Not yet.

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Wait till all the passengers are on.

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Excuse me. Does sir have a ticket? You need one to travel on the train.

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-I know.

-Very good.

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-Nuzzle, do you have the whistle?

-Check!

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WHISTLE BLASTS

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TOOT!

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Huh? Huh?

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Oh. Oh, no!

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My train!

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My luggage!

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-Do you think I blew my whistle too early?

-Yes.

-Oh.

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What will I do now?

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-That was the last train to Bingley!

-You could call a taxi.

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I suppose I have to.

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A taxi! A taxi! Ha-ha!

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Taxi!

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-Ooh! Taxi!

-BEEP, BEEP

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-Heh-heh.

-BOTH: Hello!

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I should have known!

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-Climb aboard. We'll get you to Bungley.

-Bung-ley!

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Don't forget your seatbelt.

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You know, this could be fun. Can I blow the whistle?

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Ah! Be my guest!

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WHISTLE PEEPS

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-All aboard!

-Beep beep!

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HE GULPS

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Ah-ah-ah-ah-oo-oo-ah-ah-ah!

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Time's up, Captain!

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But...

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-Nuzzle!

-Scratch!

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BOTH: Twins!

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-We've got your costumes!

-Thank you, Scratch!

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Thank you, Nuzzle!

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Toodle-oodles!

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-Bye!

-Bye, then!

-Bye!

-Bye!

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Ohh! Phew!

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So, good day, gentlemen?

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Ooh, Captain. I got to ride on a steam train!

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And I got to blow my whistle!

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Er, not now.

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-We drove a nice man to Bongley.

-An awfully long way for sponge fingers.

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-WHISTLE BLASTS

-Ooh!

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THEY LAUGH

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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