Episode 11 Officially Amazing

# Officially, officially Officially Amazing! #

Hello and welcome to Officially Amazing,

where we travel the globe to bring

you an epic array of wonderful world records.

Yeah, and FYI, the Antarctic - complete letdown.

Not one single penguin can even unicycle

to record-breaking standards, so...

Well, thankfully the rest of the world's pretty good.

So here's what's coming up on today's show.

What is this woman doing with her hair?

And what's that bus doing there?

And these unicyclists try to jump their way to a record.

But first, controversy in the bunker.

Woohoo!

Oh-oh!

In a world where records are broken,

three behemoths battle boldly to become the ultimate

record-wrecking warrior,

competing in challenges that you can try at home.

Featuring...

Teeny titan US Ray.

Gorgeous gargantuan Sizzling Steve.

And colourful colossus Mr Cherry.

This is...

Last time, Steve spectacularly sock-sorted his way to success

and a second world record of the series.

Putting the scores level once again.

But today, our competitors face their toughest

physical challenge ever.

Brace yourself for feats of superhuman strength as our

heroes will be, quite literally, crushing lead with steel blades -

using one of these

to sharpen one of these

until there's nothing left!

As today we will be attempting the record for...

If anyone knows his stationery, it's the Sizzler.

-You must fancy your chances?

-Definitely.

What figures should we be looking out for?

A record-breaking figure

of over ten centimetres.

Go out there and sharpen like your life depended on it.

I will.

Oh, fighting talk from the Sizzler!

But I'm backing my man US Ray.

Do you think your superior

upper body strength will help?

Absolutely.

Push all this upper body into my fingers.

HE MAKES CREAKING NOISES

US Ray showcasing perfect dolphinese there.

Let's get back to pencil talk.

So how has the training been very hard?

-TRANSLATION:

-No, it's been hard-core.

Look at this thick callus I've cultivated on my finger.

A finger callus!

That's like a footballer having a dodgy knee!

Can Cherry overcome this setback?

Here are the rules.

Pencils must be at least 15cm long

and 6mm in diameter.

Any single-bladed pencil sharpener can be used

but it must be manual, not motorised.

And our heroes will need to sharpen down 10cm of pencil

to set the record.

US Ray goes first.

Shantha carefully measures Ray's pencil.

She'll then measure what's left of it at the end to calculate

the amount that has been sharpened away.

It's that time. I want you to do it for the US state of PENCIL-vania.

-Ho-ho! I see what you did there.

-Yeah, good luck!

-THEY LAUGH

-Three, two, one, go!

Come on, Ray, let's go.

All right!

Ray's using a classic metal sharpener and HB pencil.

Solid tools of the trade.

Yeah, but he's struggling.

Has he actually ever sharpened a pencil before?

'I am starting to wonder.'

Looks like a case of clamminess is interfering with Ray's grip.

But his sweaty little hands are still working that pencil.

A magnificent shaving!

Five, four, three, two, one,

-stop!

-Yes!

-Good job!

-Yeah!

Ray might be admiring his minute mound of shavings...

But Cherry won't be scared of that!

He has an award-winning Japanese samurai sharpener!

Complete with handy shavings capture, so it won't make a mess!

-Go!

-BUZZER BLARES

Cherry's standing, so the might of his whole body

can grind the pencil.

SHE SPEAKS JAPANESE

He's going so fast, his hands look normal speed in the slow-mo!

SHE SPEAKS JAPANESE

This face means 2H business!

There's barely any pencil left!

And this from an injury-ravaged man.

Five, four, three...

-HARUKA SPEAKS JAPANESE

-..two, one, stop!

Cherry is exhausted, but what's this?

I shouldn't be able to hear, like, gears inside.

HE LAUGHS

Steve is sizzling with as stationer-rage.

When you turn it you can hear something clicking.

He's claiming Cherry's sharpener is mechanical, a blatant rule break.

If he's right, Cherry will be disqualified.

-So you're telling me that's allowed?

-It's just the top.

It's not a motor that's sharpening the pencil for you,

it's still the action that is sharpening the pencil.

Shantha decrees the sharpener legal,

which means Steve could use it as well.

He test drives it but turns it down.

Oh...

Can he get his head into the game

and the pencil into his own rubber-grip sharpener?

Three, two, one, go!

BUZZER BLARES

Yes, we are sharpening. That's a great action, Steve.

Wonderful wrist work from the Sizzler!

Lovely! You show that pencil who's boss!

Come on, Sizzle Man.

What?! Steve's stopped!

Discombobulating scenes!

Are Steve's sharpening days over?

What?

HE GROANS TO HIMSELF 'A bewildering battle cry...'

I don't know what is going on here. 'But Sizz is back in biz.'

Look at his powerful shoulders,

giving everything to make up for that lost time.

Five, four, three,

-two, one, stop!

-BUZZER BLARES

And so as Shantha officially adjudicates,

we are all left with one question...

What happened?

My hands just got too wet. I just couldn't turn it properly.

So a clammy catastrophe for a subdued Sizzler.

Did anyone beat 10cm?

Shantha, did we get a record?

-No.

-THEY SIGH

In third place, with 2.7cm...

was Ray.

And the winner with 9.6cm,

which is just 4mm off the record...

So close!

Is...Mr Cherry!

HE SCREAMS

This is the bam. See the bam-bam.

Japanese.

Steve only shaved 5.3cm.

Stopping in the middle of a record attempt, worst tactic ever.

But the win puts Cherry back on top.

How much more dramatic can this competition get?

Find out next time because right now there's

something very curious happening in Italy.

THEY GROAN

PHONE RINGS

HE SCREAMS

Look, Haruka, it's Asha Rani,

a world record holder we met in series two

heaving a van with her ears!

And there's her mentor, the great Manjit Singh.

We met him in series one

effortlessly lifting Ben using his ears.

BEN SCREAMS

Ah, good times!

So what's their next epic feat?

Well, Asha wants to beat her own world record for...

Sounds impressive,

but why aren't these passengers from Bristol

concerned about their Italian detour?

I have no idea.

But I do know that

if Asha pulls this 12,216 kilogram bus

for five metres, it's a record!

In three, two, one, go!

SHE GRUNTS

It's actually moving!

This is amazing!

But she wouldn't want to do a whole bus journey like that.

Well, no...

But the bus is over the line and Asha's over the moon.

I wonder if you can do that with armpit hair.

Let's not think about that

and instead watch this.

Wheee!

HE GROANS

SHE SIGHS

Meet Jason, Simon, Mike and Rob from Team Voodoo -

a squad of extreme unicyclists,

which is like freestyle BMXing but with half the wheels.

Officially awesome but also officially dangerous.

I think I need my special button again.

Today, Team Voodoo will attempt the brand-new world record for...

Not only is it unicycling, which is hard in itself,

but it's hurdling as well.

So what are the biggest fears in this record?

What could go wrong?

I think more than the personal challenge,

there is a lot of trust involved with the other guys.

Obviously, there are four of us and we all have to be on the ball

-to do it.

-And also I guess we all know that if one person

was to blame, the other three

would absolutely make them feel as bad as possible.

So we're all safe in that knowledge, I think.

Guys, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Why don't you get in the saddle and we'll check out the rules?

The hurdles must be at least 65cm tall,

each unicyclist must clear five hurdles over the 50m course,

a baton must be passed between each team member

and if the baton is dropped,

or if the hurdle is hit, the attempt is over.

And the target time for this new world record is...

Three, two, one, go!

Let's go, come on! Jason's on the first leg.

Over the first hurdle.

Look how much strength and concentration

it takes to get the unicycle over.

Oh, very close!

Oh, he's only just cleared that one.

Oh, he's made it! Excellent! Now the handover.

Simon's on leg two... Yes, well over.

And he's flying over the hurdles!

Oh, he's made it all the way.

We're halfway through. The handover is perfect.

Rob's on leg three.

Yes, Rob!

Oh, so close!

Excellent, Rob!

Oh, no! No! Rob's down!

And he's furious.

Oh, that looks nasty!

Really nasty.

With blood pouring from his shin, will he be able to continue?

-Of course he will!

-Go!

In fact this time he's riding first.

Lovely!

Excellent! Voluminous vaulting!

Yes, Rob! That's it, come on!

Here comes that tricky fourth hurdle.

Oh, he's clipped it!

The wheel only scratched the hurdle, but that's attempt over.

The Voodoo boys are yet to complete the course

and they've only got one attempt left.

It's now or never.

-Going back to the original riding order...

-Go!

..Jason's up first.

Excellent work.

And another supreme run from Jason gets the baton safely to Simon.

Game on! First 50 metres down.

Look how he uses his whole body to propel himself up and over.

Textbook unicycle hurdling. Yes, come on them!

And Simon clears his final hurdle.

Handover, there we go. That's halfway.

The pressure is really on Rob to perform now.

Lovely stuff.

Excellent. Immaculate hurdling!

If Rob can keep this up, the record could be on.

Yes, come on!

But can he do the same over his nemesis hurdle four?

Oh, and he's going back again. He's lining himself up.

Taking his time! Come on, Rob!

Yes! Rob's conquered his Everest.

But it's not over yet. He's got one more to go.

-ALL:

-Yes!

And he's cleared the fifth hurdle, too. Come on!

And the first time Mike gets the chance

to take it home.

He's soaring over those hurdles.

Really good, really strong now.

Really strong. Yes, Mike. Come on!

Look how fast he is!

And he's over the line.

-ALL:

-Yes!

The only question now is, were they quicker than that

two minutes and ten seconds target?

Today, you achieved a time...

..of 1 minute 42.22 seconds.

THEY SCREAM

Team Voodoo smashed it...

They had 28 seconds to spare.

Hurdling heroes, each and every one.

And WHEEL see you next time

for more stupendous skills like these.

# Well, Steve felt aggrieved and a little bit peeved

# With Cherry's sharpening tool

# He made quite a fuss which amused all of us

# But Cherry had abided by the rules

# Jason, Simon, Mike and Rob gave themselves a tricky job

# But in the end they were unreal at really jumping on one wheel

# And Asha pulled a whole bus with her hair

# But here comes the rubbish bits, the outtakes. #

Hello and welcome to Officially Amazing,

where we travel the globe to bring you an epic array of world...

..records.

I don't know if you've watched this show before.

-What other word could be there?!

-Wonderful world records!

Of world cuisine!