The Bumps Old Jack's Boat

WHISTLE TOOTS

BIRDSONG

BUZZING

Hah!

Oh! Good day to you.

# This is the place to be For Salty Dog and me

# Down by the harbour we'll be there

# Round every corner there's something to share

# Give us a cheer Our friends are here

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

Ha-ha! Come on, Salty!

# This is the place to meet

# Down at the end of the street

# Seagulls flying up in the blue

# There's always a cup of tea waiting for you

# Out in the sun, having some fun Just Salty Dog and me

# Haul away, haul away Sing the song of the sea

# Hoist the sail, I'll tell you a tale of Salty Dog and me

# This is the place to go

# And these are the people we know

# The village is busy with things to see

# And there's the Rainbow down by the quay

# There's stories to tell, join us as well, just Salty Dog and me. #

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

BIRDSONG

Ah, well, Salty, I wonder what the weather's going to do today?

I think we'd better go and ask Emily.

She always knows, doesn't she? Come on, girl.

Go on, down here. That's it.

-Hello, Em! What's the weather going to be like?

-Ssh!

What's up?

-I'm nesting!

-Oh, right.

So I can't tell you what the weather's going to be like.

-Right, right, right.

-I'm not having a very good morning, actually.

-What is it, the seagulls?

-Seagulls.

-Yeah.

-Seem to be plenty of them around.

-Yes, but they're nesting.

And when they're nesting, they can't hang around with me

-and predict the weather.

-No.

So I've built meself a nest to attract them over.

-Right. Any luck?

-Nothing.

-No.

Don't ask me what the weather's going to do because I've no idea!

I'll, I'll, I'll leave you to your nesting.

-Thank you, Jack.

-Yes. Come along, Salty.

You look busy, Sam.

Hello, you two! Nice to see you.

You've got your work cut out with this lot, haven't you?

We're overrun with seaweed. I'm trying to clear some of it away.

I don't know what I'm going to do with it!

You've got some in your...

-Toolbox?

-No.

-Coffee.

-No, no, no.

-In your hair. Look.

-Ooo! Seaweed hair!

-Why didn't you say?

-Well, I tried.

I wish I had some idea what to do with this.

Why don't you talk to Emily?

She could make ice cream out of anything.

Hm! Good idea, Jack. I'll take it to Emily.

She's up there. She's nesting.

Yes. We'd better get going, then. Oh, by the way, you missed a bit.

-Goodbye, Jack.

-Goodbye.

-You missed a bit! That was a good one, wasn't it, Salty?

-Oh, dear!

There she is! The Rainbow!

What have you got for us today, me dear?

WHISTLE TOOTS

Hey-hey! Come on, Salty.

JACK HUMS A TUNE

Here we are.

Go on, then, in your bed. Good girl! Go on. Huh!

Sam was getting in a tangle with that seaweed, wasn't she, Salty?

I seem to remember that our favourite mermaid, Pearl,

she had the same problem once.

Do you remember? Yeah.

Let me get comfortable and I'll tell you the story.

Oh, yes, Salty!

This will make your fur go curly, this one will. Ha-ha! Right.

Once upon a twinkly time, the Rainbow set off from Staithes,

waved goodbye to Whitby and disappeared over the horizon.

"I'm in the mood for a singsong," said Salty.

"And so am I," I said.

# Just Salty Dog and me

# Upon the briny sea

# You never did see such a smiley pair

# We're sailing off to who-knows-where

# With the wind to assist us and whiffle our whiskers... #

Whiffle-whiffle-whiffle!

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a huge bump

which sent us skittering across the deck

and made the Rainbow rock wildly.

"Scuttling spider crabs, what was that?" I cried.

We looked overboard to see what had caused the problem,

but all we saw was a carpet of seaweed floating on the waves.

"Not to worry, Salty, whatever it was has gone now," I said.

"Let's get on with giving you a good brush."

Salty sat very nicely at first, cos she likes being brushed, you see.

Says it feels like a lot of tiny tickles.

And then, who should appear from out of the waves

but our favourite mermaid, Pearl.

"All right, Pearl?" I said.

"Lovely to see you, but what has happened to your hair?

"I've never seen it in such a mess."

"I haven't had time to comb it," she said.

"But seeing as Salty is having her fur brushed, I'll pamper myself."

So she got out her shell comb and she began to comb her hair.

Salty suddenly let out a yowl.

"Y-e-e-e-eow!

"There's a huge seaweed beasty in the sea!"

But when Pearl and I looked,

all we could see was a carpet of seaweed floating on the waves.

But before I could reply, another huge bump rocked the boat.

"Galloping seahorses," I said.

"Something's giving us the bumps! Ooo!"

"Well, whatever it is has made me drop my comb," said Pearl crossly.

Well, we looked overboard and saw the carpet of seaweed.

Then something sparkled.

"My comb!" cried Pearl.

"It's caught in the seaweed!"

And she jumped into the waves to rescue it.

Then, before you could say jiggly jellyfish,

the seaweed carpet rose out of the waves

with Pearl tangled in it.

"That's no seaweed carpet," I said.

"It's the seaweed hair on the humungous head

"of a huge seaweed beasty!"

"Help!" cried Pearl.

"Uh-oh," I said. "There is a huge seaweed beasty after all."

"I told you so," barked Salty.

The seaweed beasty jolted the boat again

and then swam off at speed with Pearl clinging to it.

"Jump off, Pearl!" we cried.

"I can't! I'm tangled!" she called.

"Come on, Salty", I said, taking the wheel.

"We'd better make chase."

Well, the beasty swam north with us close behind.

Lighthouse Rock was up ahead and the beasty swam straight for it.

"Watch out for the rock," we cried.

But it was too late. The beasty hit it.

Ooo! Huge bump!

Making the lighthouse wibble-wobble.

"Oi!" cried the lighthouse keeper, shaking her fist.

"Sorry," cried Pearl, "but the beasty won't stop!"

"Hold on tight, Pearl, we're not far behind you," I called.

The beasty kept swimming north.

The waves were choppy now and a keen wind was blowing.

It started to feel very chilly. Brrr!

I mean, there were icicles hanging from our whiskers.

On and on swam the beasty until it reached the Sea of Icebergs,

where blue, white icy mountains rose out of the waves.

And then suddenly, guess what?

The beasty stopped.

"At last," I said.

And I brought the Rainbow up alongside it.

"Are you all right, Pearl?" I called.

"I'm fine, but my hair's more tangly than ever," she answered.

"I just want to get my comb back."

Well, Pearl turned to the beasty and asked,

"Please, could you keep still a moment

"while I untangle my tail and my lovely shell comb?"

"Oh, all right, then," groaned the beasty.

"I'm Pearl, by the way.

"I've been clinging to the top of your head for quite some time.

"You really are a very bumpy beasty, aren't you?"

"Please could you speak a little more quietly?" groaned the beasty.

"I have a terrible headache."

"I'm not surprised you have a headache," Pearl whispered,

as she untangled her tail.

"You've been bumping into things all day."

"You even bumped my boat," I added.

"More than once," yapped Salty.

"I'm sorry," grizzled the beasty,

"but I can't see where I'm going.

"My long, seaweedy hair keeps getting in the way."

"Salty has that problem sometimes," I said.

"And I have to give her fur a good combing,

"but we'd never get a comb through your seaweed coils."

Phwoar! Look at it!

We wanted to help, but didn't know how.

And then suddenly, Salty's whiskers whiffled.

She was having one of her bright ideas.

And off she scampered.

Then she came back with a bit of spare netting in her mouth.

She wanted us to make the beasty a hair net.

"Oh, that's a brilliant idea, Salty, my girl," I said.

"Let me get my comb out first, though," said Pearl.

And she gently freed it from the beasty's curls.

Then we twined its hair into a curly knot.

And we put the fishing net on top.

It looked very smart indeed.

"Oh, thank you," said the beasty.

"Now I can see where I'm going."

Well, it was time to head for home.

But we had a problem.

The icebergs had surrounded us.

It was going to be impossible to get the boat through them

without hitting them.

And if you bash into an iceberg, it can sink your ship.

"Now we're scuppered," I said.

"Don't worry," said the seaweed beasty.

"I can give the icebergs the bumps."

"But what about your headache?" said Pearl.

"This time, I'll use my tail," said the beasty.

Bump!

It bumped the icebergs with its huge, powerful tail,

making a clear path.

"You're a very helpful beasty," we called, as we set our course south.

"And you've got a great hairstyle, too." Ha-ha!

And with that, we sailed off to Staithes and home. Hm-hm!

What a voyage, eh! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Did you like that story, Salty?

Yeah? All true, of course.

Mind you, my stories always are. Ho-ho-ho!

Come on, girl.

-Jack!

-Hi, Sam. How did you get on?

-I managed to clear the worst of it away.

-Oh, good.

What have you done with it? Don't tell me.

-Emily's put it in the ice cream, right?

-No.

This is vanilla, thank goodness.

But Emily did get very excited when she saw the seaweed.

She's found a use for it all right.

-What would that be, I wonder?

-Go and see.

Yeah. Come on, Salty. This could be interesting. Ta-ta.

Yeah. Come on, girl.

Oh, look at that, Salty!

Our very own Em has become the seaweed queen of Staithes.

Enough of your teasing, Jack!

This seaweed is very useful, I'll have you know.

Especially if you can't rely on seagulls.

Tell us what it's useful for. We can't wait to hear, can we, Salty?

-Well, I can use it for forecasting the weather.

-Oh!

When the seaweed's moist, it means it's going to rain.

But when it's dry, it'll be dry all day.

-Oh, your luck's in! It's dry!

-So now you've got the seaweed,

you don't need the seagulls to forecast the weather.

Ooo, I don't know about that.

This seaweed doesn't half smell fishy!

Yeah? Ooo, yes! Ooo, yeah!

Come on, Salty, let's get home. Ha-ha!

-Ta-ta, Em!

-Ta-ta!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd