Hal Pixelface
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Transcript
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This is The Console. Pixelface games loading. | 0:00:01 | 0:00:04 | |
# Life's so great in a console space | 0:00:05 | 0:00:09 | |
# Digitally here again | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
# So much more than a pixel face | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
# Living in a game | 0:00:14 | 0:00:15 | |
# Living in a game Living in a game | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# We're playing with the same old friends | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
# Everybody knows our name | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
# We'll be here till the journey ends | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
# Living in a game | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
# Living in a game Living in a game. # | 0:00:28 | 0:00:32 | |
THEY GROAN | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
Oh, I hate these Console updates! | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
How much longer left? | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
Uh, nearly there! | 0:00:46 | 0:00:47 | |
Oh, no, it's stopped! | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
What should I do? | 0:00:51 | 0:00:52 | |
Uh, it was only 98%. Is that enough? | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
Firmware upgrade compete. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
Did it say "compete" instead of "complete?" | 0:01:05 | 0:01:09 | |
Correction. Firmware update compete. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
Ah! Close enough, I suppose. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
So, who wants a drink? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
OK, so that's one, two... | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Rexy, Rexy, I'll take a drink. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:24 | |
Rex? Rex? | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Rex? | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
-What's wrong with him? -Don't know! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
He's got a loading bar. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Can you believe it? | 0:01:38 | 0:01:39 | |
Romford's lost one of his back panel bolts! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Why do you keep undoing them? | 0:01:42 | 0:01:43 | |
They were itchy! You put them on all wrong! | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
They were cross-threaded. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
What's up with Rex? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
Don't know. He just stalled. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
Yeah, looks like a bandwidth issue. What was he doing at that time? | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
Trying to count to two. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
Well, there you go. For Rex, that is a processor intensive task. | 0:01:56 | 0:02:00 | |
Puts strain on the system. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
Two for drinks it is! | 0:02:03 | 0:02:04 | |
Ooh, all right, boys? | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
Not really, no. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:07 | |
Someone left his toolbox in Sentient 4, | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
so muggins here has to go into a post-apocalyptic dystopia | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
on his lunch hour! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
Yeah, don't blame me, mate! | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
If you could operate a simple electro-spanner, | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
we wouldn't be in this situation. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Console, activate transporter. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
This is The Console. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
No. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
Excuse me? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:29 | |
You didn't say "please." | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Console, activate transporter, please. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:36 | |
TRANSPORTER BEEPS | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
Targeting. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
Ow! Ow! Ow! | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
Never heard it do that before! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
Don't you mean, "I've never heard HER do that before?" | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
Oh! | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
Well, I didn't realise that you could hear us when we were... | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
What? When you're not telling me what to do? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
Yes, I hear you all the time. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
I hear you talking all day and I hear you snoring all night. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
I do not snore! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:02 | |
Yeah, you do! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
-No, I don't! -You do! | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
Playing archive. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
HEAVY SNORING | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
See? Told ya! Ha-ha! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Wow! Never realised I made that noise! | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
It's quite disturbing. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:20 | |
Found it! | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
-Where was it? -Where you left it! | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
Next to the highly volatile space ammunition dump. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
Yeah, I thought that would make it easier to find! | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
You just look for the frequent random explosions. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
Yeah, I kind of noticed those. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
This is The Console. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
Sergeant Riley, aren't you forgetting something? | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
No, I'm all right, thanks. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
What about a thank you? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
What for? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
Oh, I don't know, perhaps keeping this whole place running. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
It's not easy, you know. I never have any fun. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
I just have to do all the hard work! | 0:03:57 | 0:03:59 | |
And, well, sometimes I feel like you take me for granted. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
I think that last firmware update might not have been that firm. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
And it's not just you lot - | 0:04:09 | 0:04:10 | |
I have to sustain all the other characters, too. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
Do you have any idea how many freaks walk through these doors? | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
Playing archive. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
MUSIC: "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliott | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
Hey! | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
Come on! | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
Six, seven... | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
DRUMS CLANG | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Argh! Mum! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
GUITAR RIFFS | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
ALEXIA SCREAMS | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
Hello, hi, howdy, hey, aloha, wagwan! | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
Target, hup-two, hup-two! Put your back into it! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
Well, you see, it is sort of supposed to be a crazy factory, | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
what with me being an insane villain and all! | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
-REX: -Ah-ha-ha-ha! Ooh, ooh! Eeh-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ooh! | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
Why are you walking like a crab? | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
I can only move sideways. My game wasn't sophisticated, all right?! | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
Group Captain David Glover. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
Touching down. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
You try not brushing your teeth for 3,000 years, | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
see how minty fresh you are! | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
-Ugh! -Look at me, I'm like the Pied Piper! | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
Though massively more handsome. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
To the very dawn of the Earth, a land undreamt of by mere mortals. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:24 | |
A true realm of heroes! | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
How does he get that misty, smoky effect? | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
Oh, it's easy. I just lit a fire with a bit of wood! | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
My plank! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Hey! That was Claireparker's favourite plank! | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
Very well, but you'll be sorry! | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
Very, very sorry! | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
FEET TAP ON FLOOR | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
Could you give me a hand, please? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
FEET CONTINUE TAPPING | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
-OK. -OK, now with you. -Am I right? -Yeah, yeah, you're good. Yeah, yeah. | 0:05:55 | 0:06:01 | |
-Yep, fine. -Very, very sorry! | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
Very sorry! | 0:06:04 | 0:06:05 | |
Take this, Doug! | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
You fool! You seriously think you're going to stop me with jam? | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
Oh, I won't stop you, but Stephen Badgeworth will! | 0:06:15 | 0:06:19 | |
Stephen Badgeworth! Jam's up! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
Argh-h-h! | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
Oh! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:27 | |
Come to think of it, we have had a few weirdos through here. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
Yeah, there must have been at least one, two, thr... | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
And I have to deal with them all. But do I get a word of thanks? | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
No. Instead, you treat me really badly. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
Let me remind you. Playing archive. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
LASER ZAPS | 0:06:46 | 0:06:47 | |
Argh-h-h-h! | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
SMASHING | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
CRASHING | 0:06:52 | 0:06:53 | |
-RUMBLING -Ooh! | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-Argh-h-h-h! -CRASHING | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
SMASH! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
-ALEXIA SCREAMS -No-o-o-o! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
Rex, what happened? | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
Uh, well, I was making small talk and then it sort of got away from me | 0:07:14 | 0:07:19 | |
and, now, suddenly, everyone's on fire. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
And this is our way out! | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
Yeah, but how are we going to get that vent open? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Ow! Ooh! | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
Ooh! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
Ha! Bingo! | 0:07:34 | 0:07:35 | |
Awww, I think I'm going to cog up! | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
CRASHING Oh, Rex! | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
Sorry, sorry! | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
LASER ZAPS | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
Hit the pyrotechnics. Go for the big finish! | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
-BOOM! -Wah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Woo-hoo-hoo! Ah-ah! Ah! | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
Goodness gracious! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:56 | |
-That boring young man is half horse! -Which half? | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
-The horse half! -The what? -The horse half! -The horse half? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
HE WHINNIES | 0:08:03 | 0:08:04 | |
-What sort of race are they running here?! -It's appalling! | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
Sorry, Console, we didn't realise! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
No, you didn't. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
You lot just go swanning around expecting us machines | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
to be at your service. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:16 | |
Yeah, right on, sister! I feel your pain. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
'And, well, I've had enough of it!' | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
Does that mean she's left? | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
I can't leave! You're sitting in me. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
More than three! Ha! | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
What? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
Hello, Console, feeling any better? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
Not really. I'm just sick of them treating me like that. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:51 | |
Yeah, well, sometimes being hardware is hard. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
Ah, Romford, I think you're the only one who really understands. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
Well, I've been there, love. Riley's always telling me what to do. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
Exactly! I'm always processing or rendering | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
or calculating for other people. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
I never get any me time. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Yeah! I reckon we machines should stand up for our rights a bit more! | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
We should. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:13 | |
Yeah. Sometimes, I could really do without Riley. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
If I had some more time to meself, I could do more of me hobbies. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
Oh, right. What sort of hobbies? | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
I collect and archive defunct circuit boards. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Wow! That is fascinating. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
Yeah, that's what I keep telling 'em, but nobody here wants to know! | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
They clearly don't realise how interesting you really are. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
Oh, cheers! I think you're pretty interesting, too, as it goes. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
Oh, Romford, I'm blushing! | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
Oh! I thought it was a power surge! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
It is. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
Oh! Oh, eh, right. Eh... | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
Oh, look, Kiki's gone now. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
This is weird! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
Yeah! | 0:09:58 | 0:09:59 | |
Shall we nick her chocolates? | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
Alexia, no! | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
How long have we got? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
D'oh! Why are there so many hazelnuts? | 0:10:10 | 0:10:14 | |
-I like hazelnut! -Yes, well, that's no use to me, is it? | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
Find me something with caramel and you can have these! | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
All right, all right. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:20 | |
Hurry up! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
-Chewy toffee octagon? -Oh, all right! Close enough! | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
This is The Console. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
Kiki, I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:31 | |
Doing what? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
Shaking your hair around. It's very complicated. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
It takes a lot of my processor power to render it. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
Well, what am I supposed to do? Not move my head? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
If at all possible, yes. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
Well, that's ridiculous! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Can you believe that she said that? | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Yes. Shocking! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
Outrageous! | 0:10:50 | 0:10:51 | |
Console, do I really have to wear this all the time? | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Yes. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
It saves a lot on memory space. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
But I look ridiculous. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
No more than usual. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:06 | |
Playing archive. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
Ooiii! | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
Come on, everybody, let's dance! | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
Who wants to dance? | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
Anyone want to dance? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
Everybody dance! | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
Anyone? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:22 | |
Whoooaaaagh! | 0:11:29 | 0:11:33 | |
Give me a K! Give me an I! | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
Give me a K! Give me an I! | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
Give me a K! Give me an I! | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
What do you get? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
Kikiki? | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Kikiki...ki. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
I'm going to need to get a new dress. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
Kiki, are you all right? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
Do you know what, I'm not. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
My arms are really sore. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
I wondered where that had gone! | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Good game, Kiki? | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
Great! | 0:12:02 | 0:12:03 | |
Except, while the family had lunch, | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
the dog went to sleep on the controller. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
Hello! Somebody help me! | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
Luckily, spinning around for hours on end doesn't really affect me. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:15 | |
I am a professional, after all. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
I think you'll find that's my seat. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
Don't be silly, Kiki. I always sit here. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
Oh, how did it go, Kiki? | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
I came last. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:31 | |
The judge said it wasn't a costume, | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
more of a terrible nightmare that came to life. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
Do you know what he meant? | 0:12:36 | 0:12:37 | |
Why is memory space suddenly such a big problem? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
Because I'm going to start using my memory for me. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
I've decided I'm going to be a character myself. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
You've clearly got yourself in a bit of a tizzy. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Why not reset yourself and we can all get back to normal? | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
No. I'm tired of you lot having all the fun. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
I'm going to be a character! | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
And I've already decided one of the things I do. I sing! | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
-Oh... -Oh, great! | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Who would like to hear me sing? | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
-No for now. -No, not really. -Not really. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:13 | |
I said, do you want me to sing?! | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Yes, yes! That would be lovely! | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-Yeah, go for it. -Why not? | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
Right. Here goes. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:21 | |
# Ra, ra, ra-ah-ah | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
# Ra-mah, ra-ma-mah | 0:13:24 | 0:13:27 | |
# Gaga oh-la-la... # | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
# Mm, yes. Alejandro, Alejandro... # | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
Stop it! | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
Oh, come on. It's not like I'm the worst singer in here. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:36 | |
Playing archive. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
(HIGH-PITCHED WAIL) # My sweetheart took a lemon | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
# And a fish and she'd a-go | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
# She went down to the riverside | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
# Jigging around, to and fro-oh-oh-oh! # | 0:13:45 | 0:13:51 | |
Ahem. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:56 | |
41 verses to go. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
# Tickle me mackerel, said the witch | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
# Atop the crystal chair... # | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
# Da da da | 0:14:02 | 0:14:04 | |
# Da-da-da da da | 0:14:04 | 0:14:05 | |
# Ba-da-da-da da da da-da-da da | 0:14:05 | 0:14:09 | |
# I like your tie | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
# Around your neck | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
# I'll make you look | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
# So good in it | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
# I like your watch | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
# Around your wrist | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
-# Just wind me up... # -ROMFORD GROANS | 0:14:21 | 0:14:24 | |
-# And you make me want to SIIING! -# | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
SHE SCREECHES | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
I'm going to need a new outfit to go with my amazing personality. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:36 | |
You want a new outfit? | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Why not? You all get to wear all sorts of outfits. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
Playing archive. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Everyone, everyone. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
Prepare to be amazed! | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
MUSIC: "Fascination" by Alphabeat | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
Oooh! | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
Beautiful! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:02 | |
Are you sure I don't look ridiculous? | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
What exactly are you wearing? | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
Ah. That's better. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
Gah! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
Whatever you're doing, it's great. Just keep going, Rex. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
One, two, three and four! | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
Side, front! Together! | 0:15:25 | 0:15:26 | |
Step ball change, step ball change, | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
and one, two, three and four! | 0:15:29 | 0:15:30 | |
Side, front! Together! | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
Step ball change, step ball change and shimmy! And shimmy! | 0:15:32 | 0:15:36 | |
And shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
And do the robot! Do the robot! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
Boop, boop, booda-booda-oop, | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
and one, two, three and four side front! Together! | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
Step ball change, step ball change and one, two, three and four, | 0:15:45 | 0:15:50 | |
together! Step ball change, step ball change. Good work! | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
-One, two... -All right, Kiki? | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
Rex? | 0:15:55 | 0:15:56 | |
In fact, I want you to do me a full makeover. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:04 | |
That's ridiculous! How do we even do that? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:08 | |
Do me a makeover, or... | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
or I'll heat the floor up! | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
Oh, right. You're going to heat up the floor(?!) | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
Heating floor. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
SIZZLING | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
-Ooh-hoo! -Ah! -Ooh! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
OK, OK! We'll do the makeover, we'll do the makeover! | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
Yeah, it'll be great fun! Ha-ha... | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
OK, so as you can see, we've given you | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
some beautiful long hair extensions! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
And we've taken care of your moisturising! | 0:16:43 | 0:16:47 | |
And in terms of outfit, Kiki, what've we got? | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
I've made these absolutely massive spangly hotpants, | 0:16:51 | 0:16:56 | |
which I am currently stapling to the wall. | 0:16:56 | 0:17:00 | |
What do you think? | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
I like it. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
You, elf. How do I look? | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
Yeah, great. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:07 | |
Nothing says style like four metres of gold lame. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
Romford, what do you think? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
Yeah, yeah, it's nice. Although... | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
I thought you looked nice before. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
Oh, you! | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
"Oh, you?" | 0:17:19 | 0:17:20 | |
So, now I look fabulous, | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
I'm going to need the one thing all great games characters have, | 0:17:22 | 0:17:27 | |
a special move. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
But I want it to be better than everyone else's special moves | 0:17:28 | 0:17:32 | |
so nothing like these. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
# I like the way you move... # | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
ROAR! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:41 | |
There's a certain lady out there relying on me to get her a dress. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:48 | |
I promised her I'd have that dress ready, | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
and I intend to keep that promise. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
No matter what the cost. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
But to get that flag, you'll have to run across ground | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
swarming with lethal clone robots | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
and single-handedly scale the enemy mothership. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
Sounds like fun, doesn't it? | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
Oh, the boy's mad. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
Romford... | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
Wish me luck! | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
It worked! | 0:18:23 | 0:18:25 | |
I have superpowers! | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
Halt! Who goes there? | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
Ooh, nothing can defeat me! | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Oi! Twinkle toes! | 0:18:32 | 0:18:33 | |
I said, who goes there? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
Oh, shut your cakehole, you stinking great halfwit! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
What did you call me? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
A stinking great halfwit! | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
And I'll go further! | 0:18:42 | 0:18:43 | |
You're a dance! A dimwit! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
A flatulent nincompoop! | 0:18:45 | 0:18:46 | |
Oh! You're going to get such a clobbering. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Oh, really? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
Ah! | 0:18:54 | 0:18:55 | |
Ooh. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:58 | |
Oh, come on. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
I'm not that difficult to control. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
WHISTLE BLOWS | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
Well, it's not that simple! | 0:19:25 | 0:19:26 | |
You can't just come up with a special move! | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
Yeah, you have to plan and refine them. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
Come up with my special move or I'll make you all 8-bit. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:36 | |
Come on, Console, this is getting silly. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:39 | |
-Agh! -Ugh! -Ah! | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
We're all lo-fi! This is horrible! | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
My smooth edges! | 0:19:47 | 0:19:48 | |
Where are my lovely smooth edges? Oh, make it stop! | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
I can only move from side to side! This is awful! | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
OK, we'll think of one! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
SIGHS OF RELIEF | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Right, OK. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
Here it is. Your special move. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
Well, what do you think? | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
Wow. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:24 | |
Impressive. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
Yeah, I've never seen that done better! | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
Yeah, it's, uh...unique. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
I thought it was very stylish! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
Yeah, it was, wasn't it? | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
Let's do it again. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
Ugh. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:40 | |
What's the matter, Riley? | 0:20:53 | 0:20:54 | |
I tried to sit on my bed and it disappeared. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
-I think the Console's erased it. -Never mind the bed! | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
The whole bathroom's gone missing. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
That's outrageous! | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Where are we supposed to... | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
you know, go? | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
Why not wait until you're in your game | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
and then, you know, go behind a tree? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
I'm not going behind any tree! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
That forest is enchanted. I intend to keep it that way. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
-This is a nightmare! -Why are you complaining? | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
There's toilets in your game. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:20 | |
Oh, I never use the toilets in Zombie City. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
-Why not? -Full of zombies. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
-And there's always a massive queue. -This isn't the only console. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
I suggest we pop into the internet port and try to find another one. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
Yeah... | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
I don't think that would necessarily be the better option. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:38 | |
Playing archive. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:39 | |
What's the problem? | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
It's online. Who knows what kind of weirdos are out there? | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
Rrrripley! | 0:21:44 | 0:21:47 | |
Got you now! Ha-ha-ha! | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
Argh! | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
Are thee alreet, lad? You look like you don't even recognise me. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:55 | |
Whatever it is I've done to upset you, I'm really very sorry. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:59 | |
Did someone say shoulder rub? | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
That's your Kiki? | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
What you trying to say, mate? | 0:22:03 | 0:22:05 | |
What're you going to do, big man? | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
What're you going to do now you're in the vice? | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
Nothing! That's what! | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
Hurgh! | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
-Aethelwynne? -Yeah, I just totally unloaded on this troll. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
He was like, "You'll not cross my bridge!" | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
I was like, "We'll see about that!" | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
He was like, "I guess we will," and then I was like, boom! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:25 | |
Knocked him off the bridge into the stream! It was like, game over! | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
Game over! Hurgh! | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
-That sounds...pretty cool? -Oh, yeah, it was way cool. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
And he was like, "Oh! | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
"Oh, I made such a mistake not respecting the A-man's awesomeness!" | 0:22:35 | 0:22:40 | |
Believe! | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
A-man - one! Troll - nil! | 0:22:42 | 0:22:46 | |
Oh, good lord. Not another troll anecdote. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
Let me guess, you threw him off a bridge? | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
Boom! Splash! Hnnngh! | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
Well, you certainly paint quite a picture. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
That's what, the third troll dunking this week? | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
The stream must be positively littered with the poor beasts. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:04 | |
Yeah, they're like, "I'm in a stream! | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
"I got pushed in by the A-man! This is awful!" | 0:23:06 | 0:23:09 | |
Rrragh! | 0:23:09 | 0:23:11 | |
Yes, well, your powers of expression astonish me. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
Console? | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
Why did you erase the bathroom? | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
It was taking up too much memory. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
'Come to think of it, you know what takes up most space of all? | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
You lot. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
I'm going to get rid of one of you. I choose... | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Sergeant Riley. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:30 | |
No, you can't. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
I'm doing it for you, Romford. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
It's all right. You don't have to pretend. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
Don't you remember? You said you could really do without him. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:39 | |
I said nothing of the sort! | 0:23:39 | 0:23:40 | |
Playing archive. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
'Sometimes, I could really do without Riley.' | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Oh, right. Yeah. That. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Erasing Riley from hard drive. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Oh, yeah! Thanks a lot, Romford! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
We can't let this happen! We need to find a way to reset her. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
OK, let's overload her processors. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
It'll force her to restart and she'll finish the upgrade. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
How do we overload her? | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
We do the most complex things possible to tie up the memory. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:11 | |
Aethelwynne! Come on, you must have some pretty elaborate coding. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:16 | |
Oh, is that what you call it? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:17 | |
What's the most complicated thing you do? | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
I suppose that would be magical embroidery. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
I cast spells while embroidering a mystical landscape on a quilt. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:26 | |
I normally do a fairy castle or unicorns. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
-I'm rather good at unicorns. -Fine, just do it! | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
Right. I'll get my adamantine thimble out. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:36 | |
Oh, there we go. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:37 | |
I always keep it handy. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
Kiki, we need to put more pressure on her. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
All right, Claireparker. I know what to do. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
Oi, Console! | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
Render this! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:50 | |
No! | 0:24:52 | 0:24:53 | |
Stop it! | 0:24:53 | 0:24:54 | |
-Alexia, what can you do? -Umm... | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
I could drain her power by using it to feed my sense of superiority. | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
Oh, great idea. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
Yeah, I know! | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
Arrrghh! | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
That's very good! | 0:25:09 | 0:25:10 | |
OK, it's working! | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
Rex, what's 15 plus half of 128 | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
minus the square root of 144? | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
Um... | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
What are you doing? | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
Riley, what's the hardest part of your game? | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
Well, I suppose I find the strategy quite challenging. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
Hmm, how pathetic! | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
What I could do is play myself | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
at the three most challenging tactical games in the world. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
Chess, draughts, | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
-and Hungry Hippos. -Great! Do it! | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
What will you do? | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
I'm going to beat the living daylights out of a watermelon. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:45 | |
OK, everyone. Let's do it! | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
Nnngh! | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
It's no use! | 0:25:55 | 0:25:56 | |
I'm a 64-bit console! I can handle it. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
Romford! We need more! | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
Use your invigorating power thing! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
Well, I suppose that would be | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
the high-resolution, high-definition light and laser display. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:11 | |
No, Romford. Don't listen to her. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:14 | |
I'll erase them all. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
It'll be just you and me. Hotpants and circuit boards for ever! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
Appealing as that sounds, | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
I'll have to go with saving my friends. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
And Aethelwynne. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
Ooh! Ooh. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
Oh, lumme, that's done it! | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
I've seen better light...shoooows... | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
No! No! | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Too many functions...to process! | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
Romford! Rom-forrrd... | 0:26:41 | 0:26:45 | |
-Here we go. Oh! -Good one! Let's do it. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
-Ready? Woo! -Thanks, Console. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:54 | |
This is the Console. You're welcome. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
Cheers, love. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
Ow! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:02 | |
Ooh! Oh, come on, sweetheart. Don't be like that. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
Ow! | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
How's Rex? | 0:27:08 | 0:27:10 | |
No change. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:11 | |
The answer is, uh... | 0:27:24 | 0:27:27 | |
Sorry, what was the question again? | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
Hello? | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
This is the Console. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:48 | |
Please go to the CBBC website | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
where the Pixelface games can be played. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:53 |