South London Project Parent

'Project Parent lets you take over your parent's life.'

-Is this Project Parent?

-Yes, it is. How can I help?

-It's my mum.

She's always wearing dull, black, masculine clothes.

And she hasn't been on a night out since I was born.

-Oh!

-And I'm nine.

-That sounds serious. I'll be there in a jiffy.

-'Meet today's project manager - Kicki.'

-Mum, I'm in charge.

'She wants some colour and glamour in her mum's wardrobe.'

This is one piece of art.

'To find someone special to take her out.'

# Hello, my name is Simon... #

'And create mayhem in the surveillance van.'

Stuff it in his face.

Welcome to Project Parent that gives you control over your parents.

You decide what they wear, where they go and who they go with.

Today I'm in London to meet a girl whose mum has zero social life

and a wardrobe full of boring suits.

She wants to see her out there enjoying herself,

so she's the perfect candidate for this week's project.

Project manager Kicki loves playing her trumpet,

violin and dancing.

I'm going to make a fantastic project manager.

She lives with her mum Shirley. She loves dancing too.

She does very weird movements.

I'm a brilliant dancer.

Cut!

And dancing isn't Shirley's only hidden talent.

My mum loves eating cake. It's her special ability.

Kicki is fed up with her mum's dull wardrobe.

She is either in a tracksuit or a business suit.

This is my mum's wardrobe.

It's really boring because it's got all work shirts.

The trousers are really dull. It's masculine-like.

MOTORBIKE REVS UP

And I want my mum to dress like a lady.

Kicki also wants her mum to get out more.

My mum does not have a social life. She's always staying in with me.

About 90% of my life is taken up with Kicki.

The ideal man has to have Clive Owen's hair,

Will Smith's eyes, Brad Pitt's nose

and Denzel Washington's mouth.

Someone who's artistic, musical and has good manners.

After you, my dear.

I'm looking forward to being in charge. It's going to be really fun.

-I love my mummy.

-'Kicki's called in the Project Parent team.

'I'm going to sort out Shirley's social life

'and Darren Kennedy will tackle her wardrobe.

'Darren is a top fashion stylist with his finger on the pulse.

'This week, he has to turn Shirley's wardrobe from drab to fab.'

-Hi, Kicki.

-Hello.

-Hi. Come in.

-How are you?

-This is my mum.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

-You must be Shirley.

-I am.

We've heard a lot about your wardrobe. It's just not very good.

-Kicki, shall we get stuck in?

-Yeah.

-Show me where it is.

-Kicki tells me that your social life is non-existent.

-That is correct.

-I think we need a chat.

-OK.

-What have we got here?

-This is the problem.

These are all the things Mum would wear to work.

This could be in a man's wardrobe.

-That's like a Dick Tracy suit.

-Yeah.

When my mum wears that, I grit my teeth and say, "You look lovely."

Then when she goes, I'm like...

When was the last time you went out on a glamorous night out?

-About ten years ago.

-That's a long time.

Why has it taken so long?

Just being a mum. All my time is spent with Kicki.

-What does she wear when she's taking time out?

-Something like this,

which I find completely unacceptable.

I am so glad you said that cos this is hideous.

-Why don't you wear anything colourful?

-I'm afraid of colour.

I stick to blacks, browns, greys and blues because it's a safe option.

-What's this little piece of leather?

-It's the most horrible thing ever.

Vroom, vroom, I'm a biker guy! Honestly, who wears this?

It's man clothes. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

-Who would you say your ideal man would be?

-Idris Elba.

-Hello, sweetheart.

-He's got manners, polite, kind, caring.

What's your ideal outfit for Mum?

Long, curly, wavy hair.

Not too big earrings, just little pearls.

A long, bright blue dress with a flower on the side.

A clutch bag and really nice high heel shoes.

How are you feeling about your nine-year-old daughter

taking control of your life?

-I'm afraid. Very afraid.

-Really?

-Ready to be project manager? Can you handle it?

-Yes!

-Give me five!

-'But is her mum ready?'

-Shirley, come over here.

'This is the Project Parent bin.'

Kicki has officially taken charge

and her first task is to bin her most hated item.

-This is the victim.

-That's one of my favourite tops.

-I hate it.

Say goodbye to it.

Bye.

I don't know about you,

-but I feel dull and dreary from that closet.

-It's all those dark clothes.

It really is. Kicki's so right.

She wants her mum to be glamorous, colourful and have more confidence.

You're going to have a hard job because Shirley is scared of colour.

Now, this is Project Parent HQ,

a surveillance van packed with gadgets, microphones and cameras,

-everything you need to interrogate an adult in the hot seat.

-Moo-oo!

And if they don't like what they hear, there's the buzzer.

The men have to be up to scratch

because me and my mum have got very high standards.

'We found three potential matches to take Shirley on a glam night out.

'Simon, like Shirley, loves music and he can play the guitar.

'Maybe Russ can rustle up some of Shirley's favourite food - cake.

'Max is a designer and, like Shirley, he loves art.

'But if they aren't good enough, there's the fourth option -

'best friend Michelle who is ready to step in.

'And it's all controlled by project manager Kicki and her cousin Riad.

'She's come along to interrogate the adults. Nothing will get past them.'

-Let us in!

-Quick, get inside!

'They've got their very own bovine assistant

-'to carry out their every wish.'

-Moo-oo!

-How are you feeling?

-Very excited.

-Call in the first person.

Please may the first person sit in the chair?

Moo-oo! > Hello there.

-What's your name?

-Simon.

-My name is Kicki.

-Hello, Kicki.

-I'm Riad.

-Hello, Riad.

-Are you musical?

-Yeah, I play the guitar.

-Sing a song about yourself.

# Hello, my name is Simon My friends say I am good fun

# And I'll sing these words to you

# So hopefully I can meet your mum... #

CHEERING

-Well done.

-I hope you enjoyed that.

Using the disguises in the box,

-do an impression of someone famous.

-OK.

# Oh, you've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth... #

-Michael Jackson.

-Very good.

-Can you body-pop?

-That was good. That's the only thing I can do.

-Thank you.

-Do you like cake?

-Possibly. What's coming?

How many can you fit into your mouth in 20 seconds? Your time starts now.

One.

Two.

Five, four,

three, two, one.

Done!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-Why should I pick you to go out with my mum?

I'm very kind and I think me and your mum could have good fun together.

-Thank you for taking my interview. Bye!

-Bye!

-Bye!

LAUGHTER

Moo-oo!

My opinion of Kicki is she's quite cheeky.

And judging by the reaction she gave to some of my answers,

she's also quite stern.

Please may the second contestant sit on the chair?

-Moo-oo! > Hi.

-Sing a song about yourself.

# My name is Russ and I'm 35

# I'm really ambitious and I've got lots of drive

# I love my job, I'll be there till I'm old

# I'm also really funny, or so I've been told! #

How artistic are you?

I'm quite creative if I'm cooking. I'm not so good with pen and paper.

-Draw a picture.

-Any requests of what you'd like me to draw?

I want you to draw a self-portrait.

-Stop drawing!

-Ready for this?

-Is that you?

-Yeah.

-You don't look like him.

-What if I turn like this?

-Anyway, let's carry on.

-OK.

-Can you body-pop?

-What, like this? Like this, you mean?

-BUZZER Shall I do a bit more?

-No, no!

-Yes.

-No!

-I've stopped. It's OK.

-Tell me your best joke.

-How would you wake up Lady Gaga?

-I have no clue.

Pok-er face. LAUGHTER

-I'm glad you liked it.

-Please will you go now?

-Thank you. Bye.

-Ciao.

-Bye.

I think that went really well.

I gave them good answers and I enjoyed chatting to them.

Don't decide yet. You've still got number three.

-Number three has to bring it on.

-Bring it on.

Please may contestant three sit in the chair?

OK. Moo-oo! >

-Hello.

-Hello. What's your name?

-Max.

-What's the most romantic thing you've ever done?

Oh, it was when I took Cinderella to the ball.

-She loved it.

-You need to be serious.

-Excuse me.

-I am serious.

-Moving on...

-Yes, swiftly.

-Now sing a song about yourself.

# My name is Max, I likes to rap

# I wear a hat and sleep on my back

# Hey-hey! #

Can you do a body-pop?

# All the single ladies, all the single ladies

# All the single ladies, all the single ladies... #

-BUZZER

-Do you like cake?

-I love cake.

How many can you fit into your mouth in 20 seconds, starting now?

That's naughty. He's putting the packets in his mouth!

Ha-ha-ha!

Time's up. See you later!

Oh, gosh.

I like the cow. It made me feel less nervous.

You made me laugh a lot. We'll go through each guy.

Tell me what you liked and didn't like. Shall we start off with Simon?

It was good that he was musical.

It was easy to guess he was Michael Jackson.

-Let's move on to number two.

-Russell.

-He was artistic.

But I think he can improve it.

-Then we get to the joker.

-Max was hilarious.

He is one of the maddest people.

Girls, it's decision time. This is where you send someone packing.

-Tell us who it is.

-Russell.

I'm gutted. I can't believe I haven't got through.

-Bad luck, mate.

-So that's one down and two to go.

We've organised an incredible evening out for Shirley.

She'll attend a very prestigious event - The Last Night Of The Proms.

But with a wardrobe full of suits, what will she wear?

I want my mum to dress like a lady.

Never fear cos Darren's here.

Kicki wants to chuck out the entire contents of her mum's dull wardrobe

and replace it with something feminine and bright,

but mum Shirley is afraid of wearing anything colourful,

so I've got to find an outfit

that will satisfy Kicki's demands and Mum will wear. No pressure(!)

We're going to go shopping and here's the plan.

We'll split up. Kicki, you've got some rules for Mum.

Mum, no dull colours and no masculine things.

-You think you can handle that?

-I think I can.

-Good.

We shall see you shortly in the changing rooms. Let's get stuck in.

-This is the one that actually caught my attention.

-Wow!

This is one piece of art. That is just amazing!

Your mum would run away kicking and screaming if she saw this.

-There's never harm in trying.

-Does she have a choice?

-No.

Cheeky Kicki! You'll get your way one way or another.

-What else do you like here?

-I love that. It's beautiful.

-This colour on your mum's skin tone would be amazing.

-Yes, it would.

My mum will be very nervous

because I'll make her wear things that she wouldn't normally.

-I think we should try this on.

-High five.

-Woo!

Shirley's turn to hit the shop floor

-and, yes, she's actually looking at dresses!

-That's Morticia.

-But will she find anything she likes?

-Something I'd never wear.

-A bit short. Too revealing.

-At least she's getting the hang of colour.

Kicki has made me think again

and look at colours in a different way.

OK, Shirley, I think it's time. Into the changing room you go.

-Are you nervous?

-Very nervous!

-When did you last see her in a dress?

I've never seen Mum wear a dress.

-OK, on the count of three.

-BOTH: Three, two, one!

-Interesting. What do you think?

-It's too short.

A bit too low.

Wowsers!

Amazing!

-Shirley, how do you feel?

-Amazing. I'd never have chosen this colour.

Blue really suits you, Mum.

-Wow!

-You are a stunner. Shirley...

You've been hiding this for so long.

-Darren shows Shirley a new trick.

-This is appropriate for the office.

How to get two looks from one dress.

A simple bit of bling takes this fairly simple dress

and dresses it up and gives it a little punch.

Accessories, accessories.

They make things a little bit more glamorous.

Finally...an elegant evening gown.

Wow! That is amazing, Mummy. I love it.

-You look beautiful!

-Fantastico!

You look like you're going to the ball! Like a princess.

I think Mum looks lovely, but she's the queen, I'm the princess!

By the end of the afternoon, Kicki's selected her top three outfits.

But which one will she choose? Wait and see.

She is going to look amazing! High five!

Kicki's mum Shirley hasn't had a glamorous night out for 9 years,

but with Project Parent, Shirley's whole world is about to change.

Out of four possibles, Kicki's narrowed it down to three.

Simon, Max and Shirley's best friend Michelle.

Helping Kicki is her cousin Riad.

Today they've lined up a cake decorating session.

And they'll be watching it all from the surveillance van.

Why have you chosen this particular activity for your mum?

I've chosen this activity for my mum because we like icing cakes.

I want to see how the men like it.

The men don't know it, but Shirley's wearing an earpiece

-connected to Kicki's mic.

-Hi, Mum!

-Hi, Kicki.

-The rule is Mum has to do everything Kicki tells her to.

-Are you nervous?

-No, I'm not.

-Surprisingly.

-First up is Simon.

-Hello. Lovely to see you. How do you do?

-Hi, I'm Helen.

-Hello.

-I'll show you how to decorate some cakes.

Children's baker Helen Nathan is a wizard

at turning plain fairy cakes into miniature works of art.

-Now it's over to you guys.

-Great.

But Kicki's not judging their cakes.

What are you looking for here?

I'm looking to see if they have a good sense of humour

and have a good laugh.

She said take your time, didn't she?

Mum, ask him to please get a cup of water

-and then bash his cake.

-Can you get me a glass of water? There's cups.

OK, thank you.

Oh! It looks like one of my leaves has fallen in(!)

Perhaps that's gravity.

Or something. Oh, dear.

-Well done!

-How does that look?

I think that's good. Not bad.

Ask if he wants a cake, then stuff it in his face.

Do you want to taste this one? My gold glitter one.

This is where we need trust! Of course there's trust!

Oh!

See? That was brilliant!

It's nice to get the whole flavour.

-The chocolate's a little rich.

-Say goodbye in a nice way.

Thank you, Simon. It was lovely. Thank you.

-Very well done.

-Thank you!

I really hope Kicki picks me now.

It would lovely to spend time with Shirley.

-Time for number two.

-What's your name?

-Max.

-Nice to meet you.

Kicki wants a sense of humour. Can Max take a joke?

Pretend he's got something on his face and smudge chocolate on him!

-There's something on your face. Just there.

-Oh.

What - there?

-Is it there?

-Yeah! Oh, my goodness!

Look at this!

Tell him to look at the big cake, then quickly bash his cake!

-Have you seen this cake?

-Wow!

-THAT is a cake.

-You have to count the flowers and the bees as well.

OK. One bee...

Two bees...

Three bees...!

-I can't do that. There's too many bees.

-Oh, OK.

If you've finished your cakes, we need to put them on the top there.

He's noticed his cake.

Mum, ask if he wants to try one of your cakes, then put it in his face.

-Will you just take a bite?

-OK.

-Is it good?

-Mmmm!

-Well done!

-Want a bite of mine?

-No!

-I've eaten.

-No, you can't get away with that, love.

-You've eaten?

-No, Mum! Run away!

Run away!

Tell him thank you for coming.

-Nice to meet you.

-And to meet you.

-How do you think that went?

-Hilarious.

Well done. You did a spectacular job.

I wasn't expecting to have the cake on my face! It was an experience.

I hope she will pick wisely

and know what Mummy likes and doesn't like.

And I'll put all my trust in her.

Girls, this is where you get to decide who takes your mum out.

-Can you handle the pressure?

-BOTH: Yes!

-Right, let's do it.

-Simon?

-I think Simon was a very good gent.

He was very helpful, but he didn't really have a laugh.

-Then we move on to Max.

-Max was way too hyperactive,

but he had a good laugh, so quite happy about that.

-Then we have Michelle.

-Michelle we want to keep as an option.

So now I want you to tell me who is taking your mum on a glam night out.

-Ready, girls?

-Yeah.

-Do it.

It's the day of the big reveal

and Kicki's vision of what her mum should look like.

Yes, indeed. She's found an incredible dress.

But before that, Kicki's got a few more surprises in store.

Ladies first.

Hair - what do you have in mind?

Well, I want it really curly and then I'd like it put up.

I'm with you 100%. The curls are much more feminine, more ladylike.

-Strike away that business look. Sound like a plan?

-Yes.

You don't have much of a choice. Take one last look.

The next time will be the brand new you, Kicki-style!

Shirley's not the only one.

Simon, Max and Michelle are all on standby to see if Kicki chose them.

Hello. I've chosen you to go out with my mum tonight.

-See you later.

-Kicki's still got one last job to oversee.

The final part of the makeover is one of the most important - makeup.

-Where do you want to put the emphasis?

-Probably on the eyes.

I agree completely. Either go strong on the eyes, neutral on the lips,

or strong on the lips, neutral on the eyes. Both is too much.

While family and friends arrive to witness Shirley's transformation,

Kicki puts the finishing touches to Project Shirley.

Amazing.

Shirley always wears black when I'm over at Kicki's house.

It will be nice to see her transformed into something colourful.

I think Shirley will look like a princess.

Right, Kicki. She's very nervous.

-Are you ready to see my mum?

-ALL: Yes!

Three! Two! One! Mum - come in!

-Mum, you look amazing!

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

Kicki, you put a lot of hard work into this. Happy with the outcome?

-I'm very happy with the outcome. I think she's done well.

-Amazing!

-We should put her out of her misery.

-ALL: Yes!

-Kicki?

-Three, two, one.

Oh, my...!

-How do you feel?

-Em...em...

How are you feeling?

-Mummy's not wearing black any more.

-That's a good thing.

Shirley is stunning, colourful and classical.

I think Auntie Shirley looks nice

and I'm glad she's happy.

She's emotional as well!

I think my mum WILL listen to me the next time we go shopping.

She sees how wonderful she looks with bright colours on. I succeeded.

The old Shirley was stuck in a rut wearing dull, masculine clothes.

The new Shirley looks stunning in a bright purple dress

and the accessories add glamour.

Kicki's got one final surprise - an evening at the Proms.

But who has she picked to join her?

-There you go.

-Wow! Don't you look lovely?

Bye, Kicki! Your carriage awaits.

Bye, Mummy!

Your work is done as Project Manager.

'Picking Simon was a good choice.

'He's very easy to talk to.' Wow, in here?

SIMON: 'I'm having a great time.

'She's a lovely lady.'

Are you excited? Very excited.

The Proms was a good idea.

The fact that she's going tonight makes me really happy.

This is amazing. 'I think Kicki is the best daughter in the world.'

I love her to bits. I'm really proud of her.

My mum looks absolutely amazing, spectacular, out of this world.

All the nice words you can think of, my mum is tonight.

-That worked out well. Great job.

-And what a lovely family.

Our work is done. Time to relax.

-Oh.

-What's this?

-BOTH: A message in a bottle?

-Let's have a butcher's.

"Dear Project Parent, my dad dresses like a hippy.

-"He's always at the allotment. Please help."

-Sounds horrendous.

-Another parent.

-Another project.