Portsmouth Project Parent

This show lets you take control of your single parent's life.

Project Parent HQ, can I help?

My dad needs your help! He's so uncool!

-Uh-huh.

-We need to turn him from geek to chic.

-His glasses are tragic and he reads far too many books.

-That's serious.

-BOTH: He needs to get a life!

-I'm on my way.

-BOTH: Thanks!

Today's project manager is 12-year-old Meigan.

My dad's a geek.

Ably assisted by best friend, Bethany.

-Meigan's mission is to change Dad's image...

-You look amazing.

Looks like my nana's curtains.

-Find a nice woman to take Dad on a fun day out...

-THEY LAUGH

-That one!

-And get up to major mischief

in the Project Parent surveillance van.

-Don't laugh. Take it seriously.

-I will do.

THEY LAUGH

-You're wicked, you two.

-The idea of Meigan taking control

of my life absolutely terrifies me.

-It's better than Christmas!

-Two, one.

Wow! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you!

Hello and welcome to Project Parent, the show

that gives you the chance to take control of your parent's life.

We'll help you re-brand your mum or dad with a whole new look

and find the right person to whisk them off on a glam night out.

Today we're on the South Coast to transform a book-loving single dad

into an action movie star.

My name's Meigan. I'm 12 years old and I live on a boat.

I live with my dog, my mum and my step-dad,

and my best friend comes and visits sometimes.

This is my bedroom. This is the bathroom.

This is the kitchen.

And this is the living room.

This is life on a narrow boat.

Though Meigan spends most of her life on a boat,

she does spend school holidays on dry land with her dad, Paul.

My dad's a geek!

-He reads sci-fi books.

-I probably read two books a week.

I've always got a book on the go.

Helping Meigan out will be her best friend, Bethany.

Together they will project manage Dad's transformation.

If I could describe my dad's style, I'd say it's awful.

I just wear what I feel comfortable in wearing.

There's no colour in any of these. It's just boring whites and browns.

-The colour's fading. He's had it for years.

-Eurgh!

The brightest thing I've got in my wardrobe are the coat hangers.

The blue's faded... Eurgh!

Eurgh!

It's been about nine years since since he's had a proper relationship.

The perfect woman for him would have Frankie from The Saturdays' eyes

Cameron Diaz's smile, and Angelina Jolie's hair.

The idea of Meigan taking control of my life absolutely terrifies me.

This is a chance for my dad to stop reading about things

in the books and actually do it and get out there and have some fun.

Paul is perfect for Project Parent.

But it won't just be me and the girls.

Helping us out will be our resident style expert, Darren Kennedy,

a fashion guru who knows what's hot and what's not.

He'll help Meigan and Bethany turn Dad from a dud to a dude.

-Hi.

-Hello! Thank you for coming to help.

-We came as fast as we could.

Here's the disaster.

Is he a disaster? We're not saying anything, Paul.

-So, Meigan, are you ready to take control of Dad's life?

-Yes!

-And Bethany, are you ready to help?

-Yes.

-Superb.

Paul, are you ready?

-I think so.

-Come on, then.

-Girls, we need to get stuck in.

Show me the way.

We brought Dad's worst offending articles outside for inspection.

OK, so talk to me about this wardrobe. What's the problem?

It's all beige, all blue and striped, and it's just awful.

What I would say that this is, it's probably the only

piece of colour in this wardrobe, which is good.

-He's had it since I was born.

-What do you think it says about your dad,

-wearing these clothes?

-That he's a geek and a librarian.

Paul, when was the last time you went out with a lady?

Quite some time ago, probably about a year ago.

It's not a priority. There's other priorities at the moment.

What are the ideal looks and attributes a lady

-needs to have for you?

-Somebody who's funny.

-You like a bit of humour.

-Yeah, absolutely.

If we would say, like a movie star or something,

I would say more sort of girl-next-door Meg Ryan look.

-ANGELLICA IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT:

-I'm Meg Ryan. That's really nice of you.

Does Meigan ever say that she'd like you to look or dress a certain way?

She hates me in shorts.

-I've got a crackin' pair of legs, actually.

-Ooh.

Uh, how short are they?

They're like hotpants on a man.

They are hotpants! They're too short.

In fact, I think that should be outlawed.

Do you think because, you know, you haven't been on a night out

with a lady in such a while, you've lost confidence in

-that area?

-I think that's probably true. That's got to be the case.

I think he has the potential to be very handsome,

because he is, it's just the clothes make him look all wrong.

Paul, are you ready to put the adventure book down

-for a moment and live the adventure?

-Why not?

-Shall we cheer to that?

No problem.

It's a deal.

-You got no choice.

-THEY LAUGH

So, Meigan, in terms of

an ideal look for your dad, what have you got in mind?

I think he should have a really nice suit, but with an open shirt,

maybe colourful, and some smart trousers and shoes. I think his hair

should be a bit spiked with hair gel, because this style since I was born.

I agree completely. What we could do here,

is with some simple colour, we could make your dad

-look younger, more handsome, and stand out, more attractive.

-Yeah.

Paul is such a lovely dad, but I think he's slightly concerned

about giving Meigan control.

I don't think he need to be concerned, because I think

the girls know exactly what they want and basically it's from geek

to Hollywood action star.

Like action heroes Brad Pitt,

Mickey Rourke, and James Bond's Daniel Craig.

Sounds easier than it is, I think, though.

-We need to inject some fun and life into him.

-Yeah, we do.

-Like, we need to inject some fun...

-We need to do it now.

Now, to find the right person to take Dad out,

Meigan and her best friend, Bethany, will have a little help

from the Project Parent surveillance van.

It's loaded with hi-tech gadgets and gizmos that will allow

our two girls, Meigan and Bethany,

to interrogate Dad's three would-be co-stars.

They'll be in total control.

With the help of our bovine assistant, the Hot Seat is ready.

Meigan and Bethany can get up to all sorts of mischief,

as the ladies can't see them, they can only hear them.

And if they don't like what they hear, there's always the buzzer.

BUZZER BLARES

The three are: Julie.

She's an avid reader, like Paul.

Next up is Sue.

She loves laughing, which is a serious requirement for Paul.

Finally, there's Karen.

If no match is up to scratch,

there's a back-up option in the shape of Paul's dad.

He'll be on hand for a boy's night out.

Let the interrogation begin.

-Ready for the first person?

-Yeah.

BOTH: Could the first lady come in, please?

-Excited.

-Dad loves cats.

Do your best cat impression.

-Miaow!

-THEY LAUGH

-Not bad.

-If you were a spy, you need to be able to crack the code.

You have 30 seconds to crack this.

Crack the Rubik's cube?

Are you kidding me?

I'm a disaster at this.

You've got ten seconds left!

Darling, you could give me five hours,

I still couldn't do it.

-Time's up.

-Is that right?

BUZZER BLARES

SHE LAUGHS

Me and my best friend can do a really good Russian accent.

What's your best Russian accent?

I sink vee are being followed.

BUZZER BLARES

SHE LAUGHS

-You're wicked, you two.

-Action movies always have martial arts.

Give us your best karate chop.

Aiee...ya!

THEY LAUGH

-Thank you very much and see you around.

-Thank you, girls.

It was really good fun.

She laughs at her own jokes quite a lot, like my dad does, and thinks

she's funny when she's not. Just like my dad.

It's rare that I let my hair down and have such a fun time.

I felt like one of the girls. It was great.

Could lady number two please come sit in the chair?

Hello. Here I am.

To be an action star, you need fast reflex. Think fast.

OK.

Well done!

Do your best Russian accent.

-REALLY BAD RUSSIAN ACCENT:

-I will meet you in the cafe

in one hour. I will be wearing the wig.

-BUZZER BLARES Sounded like an English spy.

-Oh, no!

Dad loves cats.

Do your best cat impression.

-You want to see my impression of my cat?

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH

-Goodbye!

-Bye!

-BUZZER BLARES

She was a bit serious at some points.

-She didn't laugh as much.

-No.

-She didn't laugh too, too much.

And she's got a cat.

They sounded to be laughing, so let's hope it did the trick.

Could the next lady come in?

What do you do, then, as your job?

I'm an accountant.

THEY GROAN

Do your best Russian spy accent.

-IN A RUSSIAN ACCENT:

-I'll meet you in the cafe in an hour.

I will be the one with the wig.

-That's the best one yet.

-Yeah, it was really good.

You're the best one yet, saying that.

-Oh, really?

-To be an action star you need fast reflexes. Think fast.

THEY ROAR WITH LAUGHTER

-BUZZER BLARES

-Meigan's dad loves country music. Sing 9 To 5.

# They just use your mind

# And they never give you credit

# It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it. #

-That was good!

-Oh, thank you!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Bye!

-Bye!

-BUZZER BLARES

She's really good for an accountant!

I thought I was a pretty good Dolly Parton, actually.

-I think I did quite well at that one.

-SHE LAUGHS

First of all, I want you to tell me a little bit of what you liked

or what you didn't like about each person. Start with Julie?

So what was Julie's best answer and worst answer?

-Her best answer was probably the cat.

-Miaow.

But her worst one was the Rubik's cube.

Sue. Her best answer would have to be the cat as well,

because she did an impression of HER cat.

Her worst one was probably her Russian impression.

Karen, her best answer had to be 9 To 5 song and worst answer,

the think fast.

THEY ROAR LAUGHING

But she laughs and that's a good thing, I guess.

All right then. And then finally we still have

your grandad, Jim, in the mix because him

and your dad really get on, don't they? Shall I keep him in the mix?

-Yeah.

-So, girls, this is where it gets tough.

You have to get rid of one of the ladies.

That's a difficult one.

-Yeah.

-I think we're going to get rid of Sue.

-Not really what we were looking for, so...

-Sorry.

I'm sad. Very sad.

-ANGELLICA IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT:

-I feel so bad for you, but thank you!

Today's gone amazing.

The spy van was just the best bit.

We were in complete control and they had to listen to us,

-so we could make them do silly things, it was just amazing.

-Yeah.

-We couldn't stop laughing.

-It was really funny.

For the remaining two hopefuls, there's still one more hurdle

before someone is chosen to whisk Dad off on a great adventure.

But can the girls convince Dad

to get some colour into his bland wardrobe?

He's a much more interesting person than his clothes are.

It's a good thing style star Darren Kennedy is here to help.

This is going to be a cracker.

For as long as Meigan can remember, Dad has had the same wardrobe.

Disastrous! Meigan thinks that underneath those old glasses is

a really handsome guy, and Paul readily admits he has no idea about

fashion, so my job is to help her transform him from dorky to dashing.

We've come to a fashionable men's tailor so Meigan and Bethany can

hopefully put suited and booted into Dad's new Hollywood look.

Here's the deal. We're going to go shopping.

Paul, you go off on your own. Girls, have you got an idea in your mind

-of what you're going for?

-Yeah.

-We know exactly what we're looking for.

-Girls, we'll hit the floor

ourselves, and we'll see you in the changing rooms.

-OK.

-See you later. Come on.

-Maybe jackets like this.

-Yeah. That's quite Hollywood.

-I like that.

-Oh, that's quite nice.

You like the pinstripe? Interesting,

because often times people think, no, pinstripe, it's very work-y,

-but not necessarily. Depends how you dress it up.

-Yeah.

That is pretty impressive, I have to say. Why this one?

-I think because it's shiny.

-I like the colour of it.

I think it's really nice.

You guys have great eyes, because I think this is one

of my favourite suits in the shop.

I love the fact it seems to be metallic. It's very Hollywood.

You could imagine your favourite Hollywood star wearing that.

And the detail is second to none.

This little riveting detail here with the treading.

Absolutely beautiful. The little pocket,

the slim lapels there, really nice as well.

That will make him look slimmer.

Meanwhile, is Dad overwhelmed by all the choice?

-Are you completely lost? I see nothing in your hands.

-No.

I am completely lost and got to take advantage of your help and guidance.

I mean, Paul, I completely get your point about, you know, you don't

have a huge interest in fashion so you just wear kind of

fairly beige and cream and clothes the kind of mellow in.

But do you not think that's a little bit of an excuse as well?

Yeah, it possibly is.

I've got no objection to brightening up a wardrobe.

Bit of purple?

Not so keen....

It was, like, instantly...

I think the clothes I've chosen will be a step up from the clothes

he's already got, because he's got barely anything, and I don't

think he's even got a suit, so this will be a big improvement.

Guys, it's the moment of truth.

First outfit and off you go.

-Thanks, guys.

-He won't be saying that in a few minutes.

THEY LAUGH Agreed!

This will be the first time Meigan will see

-her dad out of boring beige.

-Three, two, one, come on out, Dad.

-What do you think, guys?

-Whoa.

-You're gobsmacked.

-He's smarter and there's no beige.

-How are you feeling in the colour?

-I like this. Yeah.

That fits you like a glove.

Next time you buy clothes yourself, and you think it's a bit tight,

and actually, when it fits good, you know it's the right size.

-Amazing.

-A bit of Miami in there, Hollywood meets Miami, which I like.

-Paul, how are you feeling?

-I don't feel comfortable in it.

I don't think the look suits me. It looks like my nana's curtains.

I disagree. It looks good on him.

You can wear florals, and pink, and still look masculine.

Happy days. I really like this.

-You look amazing!

-I love it.

I think it's absolutely brilliant.

Good choice. And what I love about this look is the blazer,

because that's a blazer from a suit. Beautiful.

You take it off, mix and match, and you've got a whole other look.

-What do you think?

-He's certainly giving me a lot of surprises.

It's better than Christmas!

-Wow. I love it.

-I don't think it's me, to be honest with you.

Let's just try one thing.

I think if we lose the tie,

let's just go without it, what do you think of that?

-Big difference.

-Looks more casual.

-Now it just ticks all the boxes.

-You pulled it off without the tie.

Meigan and Bethany have narrowed their selection of outfits down

to three. But you'll have to wait and see which one

they've chosen for the big day.

He'll look absolutely stunning. I think people won't believe it's him.

-I know.

-Good job! I like it. Yay!

It has been a while since Dad's been out with a lady, and now Meigan

and Bethany need to choose between the remaining two, Julie and Karen.

But if Dad's action co-star is going

to make the grade, they'll need to learn how to fly like a spy.

Their mission will be to navigate a military helicopter

into enemy territory without crashing.

This hi-tech £1 million flight simulator

will put the ladies to the test.

With Dad's secret earpiece in place, the scene is set.

-We'll be giving you instructions and you HAVE to follow them.

-I will do.

Meigan and Bethany,

why have you chosen this mix and match for your dad?

Because Dad needs to have an adventure and stop reading them.

-He needs a beautiful co-star.

-I see what you've done there.

Get set! It's all systems go.

-Hiya.

-Oh, at last. How are you doing?

-I'm Julie.

-I'll be your pilot today.

-Dad, you're going to give Julie a blindfold.

-You're going to have

controls but with a blindfold.

I'll give you instructions, so I'll tell you to pull forward, back,

forward, back, left, right.

Here we go. We're flying.

-Ugh.

-Pull back slowly and turn to your right. Down slightly.

Just keep it like that.

With your left hand, just push that down just lightly.

You should be a driving instructor.

THEY LAUGH

Right. Let's swap seats.

Both of you have to speak in a Russian accent.

-We've got to both speak in a Russian accent.

-What is this Russian thing?

-This passion for Russian thing?

-I've got no idea.

-SHE LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

-THEY SPEAK IN A RUSSIAN ACCENT

-Vith your right hand, go right..

-Yah.

COMPUTER: Caution! Caution! BEEPING

-Ooh! Left, left, left!

-Try a Russian accent.

That's Norwegian!

THEY LAUGH

-Into the middle.

-Nyet.

THEY LAUGH

Zis is fun with Russian accent.

-They're just having so much fun together.

-Yeah.

-Did you enjoy that?

-I did.

-Was it OK?

-Thank you.

-No, it was brilliant.

I think they got on really well because they were all

talkative to each other and she was just laughing the whole way through.

I thought Paul was a really polite man.

He made me feel very comfortable and he obviously has no problem

socialising and talking to people.

Send Karen in.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

-Hi, it's Paul.

-Hi, Paul, I'm Karen.

-I think you need a parachute.

-What?

-Parachute?

-Yeah, where we're going now.

-All right, OK.

-Shall we give it a go?

-Go on, then.

You have got to be action hero serious.

Take this flight really seriously.

Don't laugh. Take it seriously.

-Are they telling you what to do?

-I need to concentrate now,

-so no questions for a moment.

-Sorry. OK.

THEY LAUGH

Tell her to touch some buttons, but then get really annoyed

-when she does.

-Can you just press any button, please?

Stop, stop! Not that one! That's the ejector.

-Swap seats.

-I think it's your turn now.

-Oh, no.

-Absolutely.

-Are you joking?

-No, your turn.

Now that's not fair. I hope you're ready to crash.

Dad, while she's flying, keep on asking her loads of questions.

-Have you ever flown before?

-No.

Do you live locally around Pompey, or...?

We used to live in Eastleigh.

-I'm Southampton.

-Oh, OK. Whereabouts in Southampton?

I know it quite well.

You're determined to make me crash, aren't you?

-Dad, tickle her.

-Hold on. I'm going to distract you now.

Oh, that's not fair. That's cheating.

-COMPUTER BEEPS

-Oh, and I crashed.

-Hey, look!

-Awww.

-They did well.

-That was brilliant. Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much.

-I enjoyed that.

-She was really funny, she was taking

-it seriously, she was having a good laugh with my dad.

-And Karen?

She was taking it seriously and having a good laugh with my dad.

THEY LAUGH

I think we did very, very well. I think we made a great team.

Good bit of teamwork, that was.

-It's decision time.

-Ooh!

-You think you're going to struggle with this, don't you?

-Yes.

Let's start off with Julie. How do you think that went?

-Well, with Julie, we really liked how they...

-Connected.

-Into the middle?

-Nyet.

-SHE LAUGHS

Tell me about Karen.

She was smiling a lot.

But what we didn't like is at first she was very nervous.

Do you want to keep your grandad Jim in the mix?

-Yes, just in case, I think.

-Has this decision been easy for you?

-No.

-No.

-And have you talked together?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Have you chosen?

-Yep.

Hit me with it.

We've chosen... That one!

-You sure?

-Yeah.

It's the day of Dad's big reveal,

when all of Meigan and Bethany's hard work will become a reality.

This is it!

So, girls, what's the plan of action here today?

The hair, we're making it glam, Hollywood style, and just spike it up

a bit with a parting, I think. And with the shave,

shave him really clean, the cleanest cut you can get.

-And we're giving him a manicure.

-How do you feel about that, Dad?

-Terrified.

-That's OK, that's OK.

-See what happens.

-Yeah. Trust us, it'll be OK.

Lots of work to do. Better get cracking.

Take one last look at yourself, because that, my friend,

is the last time you shall see it before the big reveal.

Dad's makeover is underway, but he's not

the only one who needs to get ready.

Meigan and Bethany have to make a very important phone call.

Who have they picked to go out with Dad?

Hello, it's Meigan and Bethany.

-We've chosen you to go on a night out with my dad.

-You'd better get ready.

-Bye!

-Bye!

Paul has worn old beige clothes for as long as Meigan can remember.

It's now time she and best friend Bethany reveal

Dad's new look to friends and family.

We don't know if my dad's going to still like the outfit

and if he likes the haircut so it's up to my dad now.

-Wow!

-Thank you!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, wow!

Where's the hair gone?!

You look fantastic! Wow!

How are you feeling?

Warm and nervous.

Any good?

Too busy looking good.

What do you think? Try and articulate something.

Amazing.

He just looks absolutely amazing.

Film star, that's what we wanted.

Dad has spent the entire day being made over and hasn't looked

in the mirror once.

Now it's time for him to see his new look for himself.

Three, two, one.

Oh, blimey, that's a difference, isn't it?

Amazing!

Actually, it fits well.

I normally wear just sort of baggy and really comfortable

-but the suit fits well, doesn't it?

-And I love the haircut.

Oh, that's a bit more, isn't it?

-A little quiff there.

-What do you think, guys?

-Amazing.

-Thumbs up?

-Thumbs up.

-Well done.

APPLAUSE

And you, Beth. Well done, you, as well.

Well done, guys.

-My favourite part was him walking in, seeing our work.

-Yeah.

I feel great. I feel refreshed, I'm dressed properly

in clothes that fit.

I think we did really well. I think we're a good team.

-We could be stylists any day.

-Yeah.

-Easy.

I don't have to dress in beige and be a geek, as Meigan calls me.

Just learned a bit of fashion sense myself.

You're fashion gurus now, aren't you?

Before, Dad's wardrobe consisted entirely of old, tired clothes.

Now, Meigan and Bethany's new look reveals Dad's inner action hero.

But his adventure has just started. He'll be meeting his match

that Meigan and Bethany have chosen for him.

-Hiya.

-Hi!

-You look lovely.

-Thank you very much.

-Pleasure.

-Hello!

-You must be Meigan.

-I am.

And Bethany. Hello. And hello again.

Bye!

Me and Bethany have done really well taking over my dad's life.

I think he might change, actually.

Now that Dad is an action hero,

Meigan and Bethany have thrown him in at the deep end.

He must learn how to drive an action star speedboat.

THEY CHAT AND LAUGH

He is very easy to talk to and he just absolutely loved it. I don't

think his daughter could have chosen a better activity for him, actually.

We did a good job, didn't we? And I think Dad loved the lady.

I think it's absolutely brilliant.

I guess Meigan knows that I'll try anything at least once.

And to her, if I'm an action figure, brilliant.

Amazing doing the makeover.

We're never going to be able to do that opportunity ever again.

-It's just been great to work with my best friend.

-Yeah.

What is this? Parachute man.

-Parachute man.

-Random.

"Dear Project Parent, help.

"Mum's clothes are so old she gets reduced bus fare, and the last time

"she had a fun night out was before I was born."

-This is serious.

-Another parent.

Another project.