East London Project Parent

'Project Parent, it puts you in control

'of your single parent's life.'

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Delta 2, this is Sam.

My dad hasn't been out with anyone for years.

He lives in his combats and his grey hair makes him look older.

Can you help me?

-Copy, that. I'm on my way.

-Yes!

'This week's project manager is Sam.'

I love being in charge.

'He's determined to brighten up his dad's image...'

He's so boring, girls don't look twice at him.

'..choose a lovely lady for him ...'

Whoo!

'..and cause as much mischief as possible in the surveillance van.'

Food fight!

Dad, come in! Whoo!

Welcome to Project Parent,

the show that gives you power to control your single mum or dad.

You can take charge of revamping their style

and improving their social life with a little bit of help from me.

Now, today I'm in London to catch up with a boy

who wants to buck up his dingy dad.

'42 year old Glynn's wardrobe

'and social life are falling apart at the seams.

'But luckily, his son is a man with a plan.'

I'm Sam. I'm funny,

I'm good-looking,

and I'm mad about the army.

Atten-tion!

I have a big sister, Hannah.

She's really annoying and we spend most time at Mum's,

but we really enjoy it when we come over to our dad's.

I love coming to see my dad. We're big rugby fans.

Come on!

My dad loves cooking.

I don't cook...

-..I create!

-He's like a Jamie Oliver!

-Pukka!

There's no bright clothes in my dad's wardrobe.

All they are, are brown, black, grey...

He might as well be stuck in a black and white film.

He's 42, but he looks 50!

Sorry, Dad!

Every pair of trousers my dad has, has loads of pockets.

I like clothes with pockets,

cos I can keep a multitude of things in them.

-Pens, rulers, leaflets...

-Bottle of water, wet wipes,

first aid, plasters, phone, my wallet, my keys...

A money tin, once!

-A rugby ball pump.

-I can even put my skateboard in there.

It's ridiculous my dad hasn't met anyone,

-because he's really lovely and caring.

-It gets a bit lonely

and it would be nice to have someone else to do things with.

The perfect girl for my dad would have Britney Spears' hair,

Kylie Minogue's nose and Pamela Anderson's eyes.

She would be a bombshell!

Yeah, this project has brought out the commander in him

and I'm his latest task in life.

Go, go, go!

My dad needs a push in the right direction

and I'm the right guy to do it.

'Glynn is definitely number one on the Project Parent hit-list.

'It's a tough case, but luckily, our resident stylist Darren Kennedy

'will help me crack it.

'Darren's a professional stylist who knows what's in vogue.

'He takes no prisoners

'and Glynn's crimes against fashion are about to be judged.'

-Hello!

-Hello! Can we come in?

-Yes, sure.

-Here's my dad, Glynn.

-Hello.

-Hi, Glynn, lovely to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, too.

-How are you?

-Now, Sam, we came as fast as we could.

-Yeah.

We did, I believe we've a lot of work to do as well.

-Yeah!

-Shall we get stuck in and see the clothes?

-Yeah. Ner-ner-ner-ner!

-Oh, dear!

-And I need to find out about your social life.

-What social life?

-Exactly! Come on.

Sam, are you telling me this is the entire contents

-of your dad's wardrobe?

-Yes, it is.

-This is bad, isn't it?

-This is really bad.

-I mean, obviously, the big thing is trousers.

-Yeah, the combats.

And he has loads and loads of pockets.

What's his obsession with pockets?

He does a lot of volunteering work

and he puts loads of stuff in his pockets while he's doing it.

-Hasn't he ever heard of a...bag?

-No! I don't think so.

OK, so we need to change that, big time.

-Right, Glynn, we need to have a chat.

-OK.

-First things first,

when was the last time you went out with somebody?

-It's over a year ago now.

-So, quite a while?

-Yeah.

-Why's it been so long? Do you find it hard to talk to women?

-I do.

I went out recently with a friend

and a woman actually approached me and I ran off!

And hid in the toilet!

TOILET FLUSHES

-There's no colour in this wardrobe, Sam.

-No.

I love colour and I think we need to show him

that he should appreciate the colours.

Does he wear jeans at all? What does he wear?

He does not wear jeans. Last time he wore jeans, he split them!

So, what characteristics do you look for in a woman?

Someone who's out-going, someone who likes to pamper and be pampered.

Er, honesty, someone who likes to have fun.

-In the celebrity world, who'd be your ideal woman?

-Amanda Holden.

-Really?

-She's a babe.

Oh, stop it! I'm going red!

Sam wants to change your appearance

so you're comfortable with yourself and that'll help with the situation.

Crack on!

So, Sam, what would your ideal look be for your dad?

Er, cool shoes, cool jeans, bright shirt and dye his hair.

And I want him to look like Daniel Radcliffe.

Er, I'm not a magician, but we'll give it a shot.

OK, so we need to find him colour, we need to teach him

how to wear good-quality clothing that fits him right,

and get rid of all those pockets.

-Yeah.

-Shall we call it Operation Glam-Up Glynn?

-Yeah!

-I think that sounds good, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-Are you ready to take control?

-Yes!

-Good man, give me five!

Our mission is to find a lovely lady for Glynn's night out

and for that, we're going to need the coolest vehicle in the planet.

No, not a tank, but the Project Parent surveillance van.

'This match-making mobile is jam-packed with screens,

'satellites, buttons and buzzers.

'Sam will interrogate the ladies

'with the help of this glamorous bovine assistant.

'And, if Sam's unimpressed, you'll hear about it.'

BUZZER DRONES

'Look out, ladies. This is the hot seat!'

Oh, don't break a nail!

'We've lined up three ladies to be grilled by Sam.

'First up is Margie. Like Glynn, she's a dab hand in the kitchen.

'Number two is sporty Sarah. Glynn plays rugby

'and this lady is a marathon runner.

'And finally, music-lover Dominika.

'Hopefully, DJ Glynn will be well impressed.

'And, if Sam thinks they aren't good enough

'for Dad's fun night out, we have plan B.

'Dad's best mate and fellow DJ, Simon.'

Shall we get the first person in?

Margie, can you please sit in the chair? Thank you!

-Hello.

-Hello!

I'm very nervous, I'm shaking like a leaf!

Calm down, make a deep breath.

-Relax, relax.

-In and out, in and out.

Ah, I'm so nervous! OK.

Imagine you're at an England rugby game

and sing their song Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

# Swing low, sweet chariot

# Coming for to carry me home... #

ALL CHEER

-That was good!

-Oh, I know I'm good.

Can you tell me your best joke?

Oh, I'll need the cow! Er, why did the cow cross the road?

-Why did the cow cross the road?

-I don't know.

Cos she wanted to go to the moo-vies!

Oh, you are comedy! OK, thank you for coming.

-BUZZER DRONES

-Thank you!

The hot seat was the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

It's also probably the most embarrassing thing

I've done in my life, but it was good fun.

'Speaking of embarrassing...'

SAM LAUGHS

This is going to spice things up a bit!

Sarah, please come to the chair.

PHRRRT!

What was that noise?

I don't know! It wasn't me.

It was a whoopee cushion!

ANGELLICA LAUGHS

How fast are your reactions? Watch out!

Yay!

The New Zealand All Blacks rugby team do a traditional dance

called the haka.

THEY CHANT

Can you have a go at performing it for us?

Um, I think it goes something like...

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

BUZZER DRONES

My dad's a bad dancer. Can you do any better?

Cue music! MUSIC: "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

# All the single ladies All the single ladies

# All the single ladies All the single ladies

# Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh... #

She's 41, but she's a good dancer.

# Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh... #

Thank you, Sarah, for coming. Have a nice day!

I thought the questions were really funny, especially the rugby ones,

and I didn't have a clue about half of them!

Dominika, can you please come to the chair?

-PHRRRT! Wow!

-It wasn't me!

-What was that noise?

-It was the chair, I promise!

It was a whoopee cushion!

Can you have a go at performing the haka?

A-hem! Ho! Ya! Ooga-booga! Yeah!

Ho! Ya! Ooga-booga! Rrr! Is that the way they do it?

BUZZER DRONES

Can you tell me your best joke?

Why did the banana go to the doctors?

To get banana surgery?

Uh-uh! Cos he wasn't peeling very well!

BUZZER DRONES

Oh, no! I got buzzed!

My dad's a DJ and loves music.

Cool.

Can you do a rap to impress him?

Ready.

Yeah!

Yo, my little homie, this rap's for you.

Don't send me home cos I'll cry boo-hoo.

I really, really, really wanna meet your dad.

It's gonna be fun and cool and crazy and not bad!

Peace!

SAM CHEERS

Thank you, Dominika.

-Thank you.

-Hope you enjoyed. Goodbye!

The hot seat was a lot of fun and it was cheeky,

but I'm a cheeky kind of girl, so I liked it.

Sam, you were great in the surveillance van,

but now you'll tell me what you liked and didn't

-about all three. Can you do that?

-Yeah.

Right, shall we start off with Margie?

Ah, I'm so nervous! OK.

She's wacky! And I liked her joke, it was amusing.

Sarah.

PHRRRT!

-I liked her dancing.

-Anything you didn't like?

Oh, I didn't like her haka.

-Then finally we had Dominika in the chair.

-I thought she was pretty.

I liked her raps, I thought she was funny,

but I didn't like her haka.

Right, and finally, we have Simon, who's your dad's mate.

-Yeah.

-So, we're going to keep him in as an option

-just in case things don't go too well later.

-Yeah.

-Right.

So, this is where you tell me who you think should go home.

I think Sarah should go home. I don't think she's the right one.

-Definite?

-Yeah.

-OK.

I think Sam's a definite tough little nut to crack.

I wish the other two ladies all the best

because I think they're going to need it.

Bless your cotton socks!

'So, three have become two.

Plus, best mate Simon is still in the running.

'Only one will be chosen to join Glynn on a VIP tour

'round the home of English rugby, Twickenham Stadium.

'But VIPs don't wear old combats. Time to tackle Dad's image.'

Glynn has pens, paper, plastic,

the entire kitchen sink in his trouser pockets.

But what he doesn't have is fashion sense.

Sam and I really have our work cut out to make this man look

super stylish in time for his big night out.

Right, guys, we're going to hit the shops.

The plan of action is we'll split up.

Sam, we're going to go and find some clothes.

Glynn, you're on your own and there's rules from this young man.

No combats, only two pockets what normal people wear

and bright and bold colours.

-Sound straight forward enough?

-Exactly.

OK, well, enjoy and we'll see you shortly. Come on.

If I dress him up fancy-like, I think I'll knock some years off him.

-Nice!

-That is nice, What I like about it too, it's actually quite subtle.

Perfect.

It's got a DJ logo on it. My dad's a DJ, so it would be perfect for him.

Perfect!

-Hey, Darren, this is my new dad!

-He's looking slick!

What do you think of that?

I like it, but I don't think he would like it. But it's tough.

You mean business, don't you? I'm liking it! Give me five!

-This looks nice.

-I like the colour.

-Yep.

-I think your dad'll like it.

-Yeah.

There's nowhere to put a box of plasters!

'Don't hold your breath, Darren. Glynn doesn't like anything.'

It just doesn't seem right.

Oh, I'd look like a bumble bee!

I feel confused at the moment. I hope Sam's doing better than I am.

Man bags!

I just haven't got a clue.

Plenty of space to put a box of plasters.

-Pile them on, pile them high! Away you go!

-There you go.

'Sam can't remember the last time he saw his dad

'out of colourless combats. He's in for a shock.'

A-ha!

Perfect! You're a different dad! A colourful dad!

And the colour really complements you, Glynn.

-Do you know how to choose colours for yourself?

-Not all all.

-No.

Do you know what's a really simple thing to do?

The colour of your eyes, and there's a hint of green in there.

-Yeah.

-Green and hazelnut, and it's so simple. How do you feel now?

I feel really nice. I looked in the mirror and it was a different me.

Next outfit.

-Ooh!

-I like the scarf.

What's good about having a scarf like this is it's slimming.

-See how the scarf goes down the middle of your body?

-Yep.

You follow the scarf down so it makes you look slim.

-Do you like this outfit?

-I do, I really like this outfit.

-It's changed my mind about how I dress.

-Colour, colour, colour!

It's what we want. Bright and bold!

BOTH: Ooh!

-That's a good look, what do you think?

-Perfect.

I like the way this is drawing attention up to your face.

But one other thing would finish it off for me and we did say to you

that we would solve the problem of all your pockets.

Sam, I think it calls for the man bag!

Like, this is convenience. It's not just for fashion.

-This is very convenient.

-I wouldn't have clothes with loads of pockets

-and things in pockets pulling my clothes out of shape.

-Exactly!

He's learning, Sam, he's learning. Yeah, I like it.

'Many shoes, shirts, jeans and jackets later,

'Sam has three favourites.

'Which one will he choose? You'll have to wait to find out.'

Sam's dad, Glynn, lacks confidence talking to women,

so Sam is taking control.

He's determined to find his dad a lovely lady for a glam night out.

So far, he's whittled it down to Margie and Dominika.

As my dad loves cooking so much, I've invited Margie

and Dominika to a pizza-making class.

I want to see which lady is the best chef, has great personality,

who's kind, makes a big effort to impress my dad.

'What Margie and Dominika don't know is that Glynn is wearing

'an ear-piece, so Sam can give his dad secret instructions.'

Dad, can you hear me?

'First to meet Glynn is Margie.'

-Hello!

-Hello, how are you?

-All right, I'm Glynn.

-Hi Glynn, I'm Margie.

Is this your first time learning how to cook

or are you quite an accomplished chef?

-I can hold my own.

-Ah, excellent.

-I can make pasta from scratch.

-Oh, well that I can't do!

-That's good, cos your dad likes cooking.

-Be quiet, this is destiny.

-Hello.

-Hello!

'Italian master chef, Giancarlo Caldesi,

'is on hand to give a crash course in making the perfect pizza.'

Now, we're going to make pizza.

'Sam will be watching their every move

'and he has a few ideas on how to test the ladies' personalities.'

That's it. That was perfect. Five minutes.

-Mwah, mwah!

-Mwah!

OK, folks. OK, you prepare your own. I'm off.

-Ah, that's good!

-That's good, but he's terrible. Come on, Dad!

What's the first little trick you've got up your sleeve?

I'm going to tell Dad to show off, spinning pizza dough

-and then throw it.

-See how she can cope with surprises, maybe?

-OK.

OK, Dad, spin the dough.

Try and do it on one finger then let go and throw it.

You need help.

Do it again!

Oh!

-I think I'll use another one.

-I'm not going to eat that!

Oh, that was classic!

Dad, start a food fight.

Let's go.

'Warning, do not try this at home! Food fights are not permitted

'unless accompanied by a professional.'

MARGIE SCREAMS

Look!

THEY LAUGH

Ah!

Food fight!

Isn't that sweet?

We must check the pizzas!

-Ta-da!

-Ta-da!

-All right?

-Thank you, thank you very much.

Well done, Dad, well done.

I really do hope Sam picks me to go onto the next stage

because I want to see Glynn again, if only for revenge,

and a whole lot more fun.

Let's see Dominika!

-Hi! I'm Dominika.

-I'm Glynn.

-Nice to meet you.

So, do you have your own apron then, at home?

-I've got a couple of aprons.

-Do you? Do you know, I can't cook.

Oh! Oh!

I can microwave.

That's bad! That's bad!

This is the first girl I've ever seen who cannot cook!

Let's see how she copes with surprises.

OK, Dad, spin the dough and let go and throw it.

-You'll tell me later.

-Yeah.

Oh!

-I'm sorry about that.

-That's all right.

Let's test her sense of humour.

Dad, put some tomato on the end of her nose.

-What kind of music do you listen to?

-Loads of different music.

Nice one!

Dad, start a food fight.

-Can I try some?

-Yeah, certainly.

All right?

She found it funny!

No, I wouldn't.

Oh, she's caring!

-Does it look good on me, though?

-Oh, yeah.

-High five.

-Well done!

-Bravo!

-Woo!

-Bye!

-I had a brilliant time, thank you.

This is a tough decision.

I think my dad had a good time with both of them.

I'm going to keep my fingers crossed

that I get the phone call and I get to go out with him again.

This is crunch time.

This is where you have to decide who is going

on that glamorous day out with your dad.

But first, let's have a recap. So, let's start off with Margie.

What did you love about Margie?

Em, she was funny, she was playful and she was a good chef.

-Anything negative about Margie?

-She was a bit of a mad hatter.

-And then we had Dominika.

-She was smiley, chatty and funny.

-What didn't you like?

-She puts stuff in the microwave!

-Then we have Simon, your dad's best friend.

-Yeah. Plan B.

Plan B, all right. It is decision time.

-Have you thought about this?

-Yes. It's been a really tough decision

because they've all been good. The person I've chosen for my dad is...

that one.

Mmm!

This is the final phase of Operation Glam-up Glynn

and project manager Sam is still very much in control.

Think he's got what it takes to finish this mission?

Well, there's still a lot to do

in a very short space of time and I think Sam's going to have

to convince that rugby dad of his to try a little bit of male pampering.

-Somehow I think he's not going to take no for an answer.

-Me neither!

Mm-mm!

MUSIC: Theme from The A-Team

OK, troops, listen up.

I want to get rid of my dad's grey hair and his wrinkles.

The clock is ticking. So, Darren, cover up those mirrors

and everyone else, let's go, go, go!

I love being in charge!

-How do you want your dad to look?

-Get rid of the grey, it'll be great.

Dying it is a good idea. What I do think we must be careful of

with the dye - and this goes for any man - is you don't want it too dark.

If you go too dark, it grows back and we see your roots.

OK, great. My hair is in your hands.

He's had his hair dyed, all good,

and now he's going to have his facial done.

I don't get pampered. This is the first time in a lot of years.

I'm definitely going to do this again.

'Once he's glammed up,

'Glynn will be taking a VIP tour round Twickenham Stadium.

'But who will Sam ask to join him?

'Margie? Dominika? Or best mate Simon?'

PHONE RINGS Hello.

I've chosen you to go out with my dad, so can you get here quick?

Thank you, bye!

'With the clock ticking, Sam's friends and family

'have arrived to see the new Glynn. They've got high expectations.'

I know it sounds bad, but Glynn is actually a bit out of date.

-Sam, it's nearly time to see your dad.

-Shall we get him in?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Three, two, one...

Dad, come in!

-What do you think of how he looks?

-Amazing! He looks really cool now.

-Has all the hard work paid off?

-Yep!

Glynn, how are you feeling?

A bit apprehensive.

ALL LAUGH

-It isn't over, you haven't seen it. Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

I think you are. Come on over this way. Sam, take your position.

ALL: One, two, three...

Oh, my!

All my grey's gone! That looks really good.

-I'm a totally different person.

-Tell me about the jeans.

And jeans, I've never worn jeans in years. Look at me!

Thank you, Sam.

It's green, it's pink, vibrant colours. Sam's done a fantastic job.

I think Glynn looks much, much younger.

When my dad walked out of that door, I thought it was a new dad.

I succeeded in everything, making him look younger.

When they dropped the curtain, it was like looking at a new person.

I was proud of my son before we ever did anything like this,

and now it's just the icing on the cake.

'Until Sam took charge of his dad,

'Glynn's multi-pocketed look was drab and boring.

'Now, Sam's injected colour and style.

'It's bye-bye grey, hello youth.

'He might've been single for a year, but Dad has a spring in his step.

'But who's the chosen one?'

-Hi! How are you?

-All the better for seeing you!

-You look fantastic!

-Thank you, so do you.

-You ready?

-I'm ready.

-Come on in!

Bye!

'I think I made my dad feel happy.'

And he's finally going to go out with a pretty lady.

Wow, we're walking through the players' tunnel.

-Oh, wow!

-Oh!

This is cool! Love it!

I love my dad to bits, and he always does stuff for me

so to do something like this makes me feel good.

-How can you be somewhere like this with such a beautiful lady?

-Awww!

I enjoyed Dominika's company very much. Sam's picked the right lady.

Glynn is really funny and really sweet

and it was a really special, special night.

His usual confidence is, like, down here,

but his now confidence is, like, up to the top of the sky.

He's just gone beyond my expectations of my son

and brought him that much closer to myself.

Doing this project made me feel close to my dad,

and that means the world to me.

That's another Project Parent signed, sealed and delivered.

Well done. Glynn looked so much younger.

-Thank you! And well done you.

-Thank you.

And Sam, well, what a job. He should be very proud.

He was an excellent project manager.

TANNOY: 'Urgent message.

'Please head to Liverpool immediately for a mum

'who dresses like a teenage boy

'and only goes out to go to Bingo.'

-We've got to go.

-Another parent...

-Another project!