Brighton Project Parent

Welcome to Project Parent.

The show which puts you in control of your single parent's life.

-Hello. Hello.

-Hello, is that Angellica?

-It is.

-I really need your help.

My mum has got some really crazy clothing

and desperately needs a good night out.

Hang in there, I'll be there soon.

Today's project manager is ten-year-old Kelly.

I'm in charge now.

She's on a quest to transform her single mum's image...

Her outfits are a bit cuckoo.

..chose a nice fella to take her on a glamorous night out...

Her ideal man would be Billy Idol.

# Who you looking at poker face... #

..and get up to mischief in the Project Parent's surveillance van.

Mum, tickle him.

LAUGHTER

THEY BOTH LAUGH

Welcome to Project Parent,

the show that puts you in control of your mum and dad's life.

This is your chance to totally transform their image

and their social life.

Today's project is a single mum from the south coast.

Today we're with mum Suzanne, 14-year-old-Jake

and our project manager ten-year-old-Kelly.

Mum's personality is a bit...crazy

because she's always wearing weird and wacky things.

I'm Fairy Fizz and I dress up as a blue fairy.

40-year-old-Suzanne works as a kids' entertainer,

but she's not just away with the fairies.

She's also a cow girl.

Mum's very embarrassing.

I trust Kelly in choosing the perfect man for me...

I think.

Mum's ideal man would have

Gordon Ramsey's hair, Enrique Iglesias eyes,

Robbie Williams' nose,

and Steve Backshall's smile.

And she also likes firemen and men who are ginger.

She thinks my style is not as good as hers.

When you look in the playground at other mums,

they're dressed up nicer than her.

Mum goes out, normally to rock nights,

but her outfits are a bit cuckoo.

They say "rock" and stuff like that on it.

She's not very good at fashion.

I would like to see her wearing something a bit more glamorous.

Kelly wants to get her mum out of her rock gear and biker boots.

Can't think why.

I've got just the man for the job.

Super stylist Darren Kennedy.

He's got his finger firmly on the fashion pulse.

He'll have the job of sifting though Suzanne's wardrobe

while I tackle her social life.

-Hi, Suzanne!

-Hello!

-A little bit shocked?

-Yes.

Kelly, I see you're ready. You've got all the clothes there.

I'm happy you have them out, I'm not sure I'm happy with what I see.

-Shall we get stuck in?

-Yes.

-Let's do it.

We need to talk. Come on.

I am feeling the urge to pop these on.

-This is her work outfit?

-Yes.

Does she wear them walking down the street or going shopping?

-She never wears them in public.

-Which is to your delight, I'm sure.

-Yes.

-OK. That's a good thing.

We want to know more about you. What are your interests?

I'm really interested in food.

Also like rock music.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

What would your mum wear on a night out?

She would normally wear a rock outfit.

-Leather...

-She does not wear them!

-She does.

She does not!

Oh, yes, she does.

That is a crime against fashion.

What would she wear with these? "Rock rebel girls".

-It's a bit tomboyish, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I presume these are the boots she wears?

-Yes.

HE SIGHS

-Who is your ideal man?

-My ideal man is Billy Idol,

Because he rocks.

FYI, Billy Idol was big in the '80s.

Ask your mum! Or your gran.

Kelly, if you could wave a magic wand

and create the ideal look for your mum, what would it be?

It would be hair like Miley Cyrus,

dresses like Amanda Holden, and high heels,

but not so high that she falls over in them.

What I'm getting from this is no more tomboy,

more stylish and, in fact, if I was to sum it up

I'd say, glam, glam, glam.

So, what are you looking for in a man?

I would like someone who is kind, cheerful

He's got to be able to cook and rock. I like firemen.

So, really I'd like a cooking, rocking, maybe ginger, fireman!

-Could you find me that?

-Cooking, rocking, ginger fireman?

Yeah, they're everywhere!

Kelly, we've brought the Project Parent bin so your first task

as project manager is to bin an item of clothes. What's it going to be?

These.

Predictable, but I love it!

OK, do your thing.

KLAXON SOUNDS

Warning, some mothers may become alarmed if you bin their clothes.

Do not attempt this without the help of a celebrity stylist.

There is zero glamour.

Her idea of getting dressed up is wet leggings and biker boots!

I have nothing bad to say about biker boots. They're cool!

-They're nice, I will give you that.

-Thank you.

-We'll get there.

-I think they're going to be good.

-The challenge?

-Yeah.

-Shall we swing in to action?

-Hmm(!)

I'm looking forward to being in the truck

cos the power will be in my hands. Wa-ha-ha-ha!

We've been given our instructions

and now it's time to get to work transforming Mum's life.

That's where this comes in -

our super hi tech, super high-spec Project Parent surveillance van.

We've kitted it out with all the buzzers, buttons,

switches and screens Kelly needs to hunt

for the perfect match for her mum.

Now in here, Kelly can spy on our adults and interrogate them

as they sit in our hot seat.

MOO!

Now, she can ask them anything she likes

but if she doesn't like what she hears,

she can cut them short with this buzzer.

BUZZ!

We've lined up three guys to be grilled by Kelly.

Paul - he loves scuba diving

but, more importantly, he has ginger hair.

Mum loves gingers!

Mum loves adventurous guys and not only is Pierre a marathon runner,

he does extreme sports.

Finally, Chris.

He loves motorcycles and playing rock music really loud.

Perfect for Suzanne.

But if none of them impress Kelly enough,

she could choose Mum's best friend Sara to join a fun night out

with Suzanne instead.

Time to get Kelly secretly in to position.

So, we're about to start.

What are you feeling?

Excited.

So, should we call in number one?

BUZZ!

MOO!

-What colour's his hair?

-Ginger.

Hello!

Your mum would like that.

My mum loves performing. Can you juggle?

I'm afraid not but I shall give it a go.

Argh!

Juggling with spiders - that's not easy!

Can you do impressions?

I can try!

Go on, then.

Ha-ha. OK!

Tell me who you'd like me to be.

Lady Gaga!

HE LAUGHS

Hopefully we've got a blonde wig, but...

-Moo!

-Oh, we have a blonde wig - fantastic!

# Poker face, poker face

# Who you looking at? Poker face! #

THEY LAUGH

Moo!

How much do you want me to pick you? Are you prepared to eat this?

-HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

-What have we got?

Oh, we've got...

baked beans and custard, I think.

And...

Strawberry cheesecake and sardines!

Lovely!

EURGH!

-Mm.

-That's making me want to be sick.

Unique. Shall we go onto the main course? Beans and custard?

Ohhh! Oh, he's eating it.

Ooh!

-Are you impressed he's eating it?

-Yeah.

-You can stop.

-Thank you Oh, that was horrid!

Thank you very much, Paul.

Bye!

The food wasn't very nice, it has to be said,

but the worst thing - Lady Gaga!

-Bring on number two!

-Hello!

Two of my mum's favourite things are firemen and 1980s rock music.

Put on the costume and sing me a rock song.

OK, let's go.

# Hey, little sister What have you done? #

He's got it!

# My hat's fallin' off and I don't know this song!

# It's a nice day for a white wedding. #

That's really good.

# It's a nice day to start again

# Come on now, it's a... #

-You're very good.

-Thank you very much.

Please stop!

Can you do any impressions?

Let me think now.

What about...

footballer David Beckham. I'll take my glasses off.

"Uh, well, Victoria is the love of my life,

"but I love football

"and I'm not very interesting and quite boring really,

"but I've got lots of money and I'm married to a Spice Girl."

-That was really good.

-Can I keep that?

How much do you want me to pick you?

Oh, loads - please pick me!

Are you prepared to eat this?

-Have you just swallowed that?

-That's how much I want you to pick me.

Oh!

Bye-bye.

Thanks, bye.

I think I done really well, so I'm hoping that Kelly will think

I'm entertaining and good fun and will pick me.

I've got positive vibes for number three. Shall we usher him in.

-Hello.

-Tell me your funniest joke.

-Do you know why carrots are so good for you?

-Why?

-Have you seen rabbits wearing glasses?

-No.

Put on the costume and sing me a rock song.

It's going to be in French, isn't it?

It is going to sound really funny.

# Hey little sister What have you done?

# Hey little sister Who's the only one... #

It was kind of bad.

Very bad, yeah! Really bad.

How much do you want me to pick you?

No, I don't like...

That's dog food?

Don't worry, it's not really dog food!

Mmm. Delicious.

Oh!

Is there anything on that spoon?

Yeah!

Oh, OK.

Mmm, I would like to eat that everyday.

-Thank you very much, that's very nice.

-He's lying!

BUZZER

HE MOUTHS

Ze outfit was great! Very funny, interesting!

And, um, yeah, I think it went well. Fingers crossed.

Kelly, you've seen all three candidates, it's now decision time.

One has to go, possibly. Tell me what you think of each of the guys.

If we start off with Paul.

He's ginger and Mum would like a ginger person.

But his Lady Gaga impression's absolutely pants.

And then Chris?

He's very energetic and he's got a brilliant Billy Idol impression.

Let's move onto Pierre.

Well, he had a good sense of humour,

but his singing was really, really bad!

We also have your mum's friend Sarra here.

I think we should definitely keep Sarra, and get rid of...Paul!

-Paul?

-Yip.

Bye-bye!

I think what let me down was the Lady Gaga thing.

Nice try, Paul, but there's only one Lady Gaga!

And there's only one more challenge for the others to face,

before project manager Kelly choo-choo-chooses

who will be sweeping Mum away on an elegant evening out.

But first she'll need to find the perfect dress.

Up until now, Suzanne's wardrobe has been a scary mix

of tomboyish trousers, fairy costumes

and these horrible wet-look leggings.

So, Kelly's decided she wants to inject a little bit of glam

into her mum's look. I'd say that's not going to be an easy task,

transforming this rock chick into a chic frock.

# Hey-ey-ey... #

For moral support, Kelly has brought along her best friend Abbey

to help her make the all important decision.

We're going to hit the shops together,

find an outfit for your mum that you think is suitable.

Suzanne, you're going to head off on your own.

Pick up some outfits that you'd like to wear on your big night.

But there is a rule, Kelly, what is it?

-You're not allowed to buy any trousers.

-Can you manage that?

-You look surprised!

-I'm not so sure!

Girls, I think we're up to the challenge, anyway.

We're going this way. Suzanne, see you later!

Mum's heading for her usual shop and her, uh, usual clothes...

While Darren, Kelly and Abbey are off to a glamorous boutique.

Lots of lovely clothes.

-Anything here catch your eye, girls?

-I like this one.

That's gorgeous, I love it!

I think that colour would be amazing. What do you think?

I think the colours are nice, but the pattern I'm not too sure about.

Meanwhile, round the corner Suzanne's already

finding it very hard not to break Kelly's golden rule.

If I had to pick out a dress for an evening night out,

that would be really difficult,

and in the end I'd end up with black trousers that are tight,

um, a satin shirt or blouse and probably a black jacket.

No, no no, Suzanne! Remember, it's frock, not rock!

Kelly and Abbey, however, have got other ideas.

-What do you like about this?

-That bit.

It looks all kind of beady here, then it slouches round here.

-It's like Grecian goddess nearly, isn't it?

-Yeah!

Really elegant, feminine.

-That's definitely one worth trying.

-I like this one.

-Ah! What do you like about that?

-I like the bold colours

and the fact that the texture here is different

to the texture of the rest of the dress.

It kind of makes her stand out.

Very glam!

Time for Mum to rock on over and hit the changing rooms.

-Thank you.

-Can't wait to see this!

I'm actually quite scared. I've never seen her in a dress before.

She's always wearing boring old trousers, mostly everyday.

Are you ready, Suzanne?

-I'm ready.

-OK, girls, count her in.

Three, two, one...

Ah!

Wow!

-That looks really nice.

-Does it?

-Compared to all your trousers.

I love the colour.

Kelly, that was your choice of colour. Amazing colour.

Ooh!

Interesting. What do you think?

-I'm not sure of it.

-You're not convinced?

No. The top bit looks like it's a bit high.

The high neckline, I agree with you, is not ideal.

However, this dress is legs, and you've got cracking legs,

so you should get them out. So because we're showing so much leg,

you want to keep it very simple up on top.

-Yeah!

-Wowzers!

-That's, like, awesome! It is really nice.

-Oh, gorgeous.

And look at this detailing here. The draping here is just beautiful

and it skirts over your body. It gives you an amazing figure.

-Thumbs up, thumbs down?

-Yip!

-Definite thumbs up!

I think this is a contender.

It's a contender against the pink one.

So Kelly's picked her two favourites,

but you'll have to wait until later to find out which one she goes for.

Kelly, how does it make you feel to see your mum in a dress?

Really happy to see her trying on different clothes,

and generally just looking a lot better.

So far, Kelly's selected adrenaline junkie Pierre and rocker Chris

to possibly accompany Suzanne on her glamorous night out.

With Mum's best friend Sarra on stand-by

in case the guys don't come up to scratch.

But now it's time to step it up a level. Suzanne loves performing,

so Kelly's chosen a circus school as the ideal place to test

whether the guys are the perfect balance for Mum.

In this cauldron of activity,

they'll be learning how to walk a tightrope and spin plates,

all under Kelly's watchful eye from the surveillance van.

Suzanne will wear an earpiece so that Kelly

can secretly relay instructions to her whenever she likes.

And, as she's in control, she might even throw in some cheeky surprises

to see how our fellas react.

Oh, I'm nervous.

I think this circus skills was a really good idea.

-My idea.

-Your idea! Clever girl!

First up, it's Pierre.

-Hi.

-Hiya. I'm Pierre. Nice to meet you.

I'm Suzanne, nice to meet you, too.

But before they can start,

no circus school would be complete without a couple of clowns.

-So, plate spinning.

-Ring master, Graham, wants them to keep

the plates spinning as long as possible.

But Kelly has got other ideas.

Mum, tickle him.

-Go on! Drop it!

-THEY LAUGH

-Drop it!

-Wait. Do it to her. Then we'll do the same thing!

Tickle him again! THEY LAUGH

I can't do one, and you want me to do with two!

-They're laughing a lot.

-Yeah. I think they're getting on really well.

-Get it going, and I'll tickle you!

-Aarrrgh!

-THEY LAUGH

And now for her next trick.

Suzanne will walk the tightrope so Kelly can see how the guys behave

-with mum under pressure.

-Mum, pretend you're afraid of heights

-and ask him to hold your hand.

-OK.

Hang on, I'm a bit afraid of heights. Hold on. OK.

-Don't let go.

-OK.

-He's helping your mum, isn't he?

-Yes.

-Do you like that?

-Yeah.

Here we go.

Mum, you're going to pretend to fall off and hurt your ankle.

-What do you expect Pierre to do?

-Maybe go over and help her.

-And balance. Using your other leg, balance.

-Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

-I think I hurt my ankle a bit.

-Are you all right?

-No, it was this one, that's it.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I think it'll be OK. I just need a minute to rest.

THEY LAUGH

-The way she looks at him!

-I think I'll be all right.

-Have we seen enough of Pierre?

-Yeah.

-Thanks for coming along.

-Thank you very much.

-It was nice to meet you.

-Take care. Bye-bye.

-Bye!

Mum, you did really well.

Thank you very much.

I really enjoyed myself. I'm not sure I impressed enough, we'll see.

Next up is Chris.

-Nice to meet you.

-I'm Chris.

-I'm Suzanne.

-Nice to meet you, Suzanne.

-Can he make Suzanne laugh

and show cunning Kelly that he's kind enough for her Mum?

They're like Tweedledum and Tweedledee with their matching hats.

-Here we go.

-Mum, tickle him.

-Go on, drop it, drop it!

THEY LAUGH

-There, you dropped it!

-Tickle him again.

Tickle his tummy! THEY LAUGH

-Woop!

-Watch it!

-SHE LAUGHS

-That's it.

-Yeah!

-THEY LAUGH

-Good God. Sorry about that.

-HE LAUGHS

-Do I sound sorry?

-No, you're not sorry.

-No, I'm not.

It's tightrope time again. But will Chris prove the perfect gent?

-Sorry, I know this isn't very high. Hold my hand, Chris.

-OK.

He's holding her hand.

-Ooooh!

-Good.

Pretend to fall off and hurt your ankle.

Go on. Oh, well done.

-Oh, ow! Oh, my ankle hurts.

-What's he doing?

-I'll give it a rub.

-Admiring her sense of humour.

I think it'll be OK. No, it's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

Maybe it's a bit embarrassing for them.

Cos he doesn't know your mum that well.

Yeah, but if they see an old lady in the street and she falls over.

You'd expect them to go over and help an old lady. OK.

-See you again, maybe.

-Fingers crossed.

-Goodbye.

-Good luck.

-Awww.

-Right, I'm going to go and choose between the two men.

And it's my choice and not yours.

I don't know if I impressed enough to get picked or not.

It's very difficult to say, because it's very hard to make conversation

when you're trying to not fall off a tightrope.

-How do you reckon that went?

-I think that it went really well.

So, that's the fun and games over. We have to be serious.

-It's decision time.

-Serious face.

-You have to decide

who will go on the night out with your mum? First things first,

-is Sara still in the running?

-No.

-No?

-No, because there's a man

which I think is right for mum.

So, let's put her to one side. And so, Pierre went in first.

-Tell me your thoughts.

-Well, Pierre was very kind and really giggly.

-And you think he looks like someone famous.

-Pierre Andre!

It's just the way he kind of poses in that picture.

Strewth! It's like we're twin brothers!

-And then Chris came in after.

-He was kind of giggly and he did

kind of tickle Mum back. And he was really good at plate spinning,

-but I think it might be really tricky to decide.

-All right.

-It's decision time right now. So who's it going to be?

-Er...that one!

In keeping with a glamorous theme, for the final part of the process,

we've whisked Mum away to a luxury hotel.

Mum, mum, get up, it's time to make you glamorous!

So, Kelly has chosen the dress and the companion and all that's left

-is for Mum to get ready for her big night out.

-Yes, and that means

a fabulous makeover. Hair, make-up, eyelashes, the works.

Sounds good to me. We'll reveal who Kelly selected a little bit later

-when they arrive to take Suzanne out.

-But first,

-let the pampering proceed. Madam.

-Thank you.

Kelly, no makeover is complete without the hair.

One of my favourite parts! What do you want to do?

I was thinking about dying Mum's hair

-kind of dark, chocolate kind of colour.

-How do you feel about that?

-Nervous. Very nervous. Yes.

-OK. Well, take one last look.

Because next time you see yourself, you'll be completely made over.

But it's not only Mum who needs to get ready for the big night out.

Our two remaining guys, Chris and Pierre, are anxiously awaiting

-an important phone call.

-You better get ready quickly,

because you've been chosen to go out on a date with my mum.

After four hours of cutting, colouring, preening and pampering,

Suzanne is nearly ready, and her friends and family are arriving

-to witness her transformation.

-I'm really looking forward

to seeing Suzanne, because I think she's really going to look pretty.

It'll be a real difference to see Suzanne in a dress,

I'm used to seeing her in leggings and jeans a lot,

so, I'm looking forward to it. It should be great.

The moment has arrived for the new Suzanne to step into the light.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-She looks hot, doesn't she?

-Yes!

-She looks like a superstar!

It's just awesome!

Suzanne, how are you feeling, because you haven't seen yourself?

I haven't. I feel amazing. I'm really looking forward

-to seeing what I look like.

-OK, over to Darren.

-Let's do it. Come on!

-OK, everyone, shall we let her see herself?

-ALL: Yeah.

On the count of three, everyone. Three, two, one.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Yeah. I love it!

-THEY LAUGH

-It's amazing.

You look fabulous and young, and not a tomboy in sight! Go on over,

give her a hug.

-You look really nice.

-Thank you.

I thought the dress really suited her.

She looked so glamorous in those heels and that dress.

She's got amazing legs. We never usually see them.

So it's nice to see her looking so amazing.

She looked completely transformed. I don't think I would even

recognise her if I walked past her.

I would just walk straight past her in the street, I think.

Before Kelly took control of Suzanne's life,

she was all biker boots, black leggings and grungy T-shirts.

But now, she's transformed her from rock to frock,

all set for an elegant evening.

But who has Kelly chosen to accompany her?

Close your eyes, Mum.

-Hi!

-Ah! It's Pierre! Hurray!

-How are you?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-Nice to see you. You look gorgeous.

-Do I?

-Yes, fantastic.

Bye!

-Hello. Welcome to the Bluebell Railway.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

I'm very pleased with the choice Kelly made for me.

She picked the perfect man.

It's been great to meet Suzanne. She's a lovely lady.

And today it's a journey on the steam train, it's really fantastic.

-I'm really, really pleased.

-BOTH: Cheers!

Suzanne has been lovely company and I really enjoyed myself today.

Having a journey on this old steam train is perfect

for a lovely night out and it feels like I'm in one of the old movies.

This is definitely the perfect end to my experience

and I would let Kelly take charge of my life in the future.

-How have you enjoyed being in control?

-I've really enjoyed it.

Mum didn't know half of the things I was up to.

What do you think you've enjoyed the most out of the last few days?

The thing I enjoyed the most was seeing Mum trying all the dresses

and the shoes and turning her into a proper girl.

You did a fantastic job, Kelly.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

That's another Project Parent successfully taken care of.

It is. And she looked absolutely gorgeous

and Kelly is such a little star.

-She's sweet, isn't she? Phone, sorry.

-PHONE RINGS

Hello? Yes, it is.

Your dad dresses like the Chuckle Brothers and panics

when he talks to a woman?! All right. We're on our way.

We better get going. Come on.