Craig Revel Horwood Remote Control Star

Have you ever wanted to control a celebrity?

-Make your wish their command?

-This is the show where three mates

take charge of a star for the day, controlling them

-through funny situations.

-Like these.

Kick the bench down by accident.

You've got to accidentally spill cereal all over the place.

Oh, dear.

Shout, "Show me the money", as loud as you can.

-Show me the money!

-Now be a duck.

HE QUACKS

All the action takes place in our celebrity house.

It's rigged from top to bottom with hidden cameras and microphones

and our remote controllers will be based here...

..in this hi-tech control room, giving their star instructions

via a secret earpiece.

It's time to remote control another star.

Let's meet today's remote controllers.

I'm Kieran, I'm 12 years old and I'd be a good remote controller

because I'm funny and intelligent.

Hi, I'm Jess and the best prank I've ever played was on Kieran, putting

a full face of make-up on him, and today we'll do a lot better.

Hi, I'm Abbie. I can't wait to see who the celebrity is

so we can make them look silly.

I think Abbie's going to bring some good pranks to the team

because she's really good at thinking of amazing pranks.

Strengths that Kieran will bring to the team

is his sense of humour, because he'll just do jokes every day. It makes us all laugh.

Jess will be a great remote controller because she works well in a team.

We're going to make the pranks the best that they can be.

So we've met our remote controllers.

Now it's time to meet the star.

I knew there was something I was meant to do!

Please say you've lined up a star.

No, no, that's sorted - I meant to clean my room.

Anyway, I've got an ace star lined up for you.

Today's star, he's the super-scary, super-strict judge on Strictly Come Dancing...

Your remote control star today is...

Craig Revel Horwood!

CHEERING

-Hello. What's your name?

-Jess.

Nice to meet you. What's your name?

-Abbie.

-Nice to meet you.

-Kieran.

-Nice to meet you.

I'm concerned what will be going through their minds.

I think Kieran's really excited. Why?

Because my grandma really likes you.

-Grandma's favourite!

-Yeah(!)

-Up for the challenge, remote controllers?

-Yeah.

It starts right now, Craig. There is your remote control star earpiece.

-Wear that. Are you ready to play?

-I'm ready.

-Get off for challenge one.

Remote controllers, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's do it!

Craig's in position in the bedroom. Four cameras are covering

his every move.

It's time for the first challenge.

OK, it's time to put you out of your misery.

We've arranged a photo shoot here in the house.

However, you're not going to be 100% cooperative.

-How does that make you feel?

-Terrified, darling.

While our photographer's trying to take decent photos of you,

you're going to get a powerful case of dance fever, which means

you've got to keep dancing throughout the photo session.

Your challenge is to get the photographer not to take any decent photos of you within ten minutes.

-Are you up for it?

-Absolutely.

That's the main challenge and during it, tasks will pop up on this screen.

Will the remote controllers be able to get Craig to do them?

Right, remote controllers, are you ready?

-Yes.

-This is it.

And remember, the photographer knows nothing about the hidden cameras.

Hello!

-Hi! Nice to meet you.

-You too.

-I've got good ideas, my darling. I'd like to do it against this wall, if that's all right.

-Yeah.

'It's game on. Over to the remote controllers.

'What tactics will they use to stop the photographer getting any decent snaps?'

-It's a nice, light room.

-I know, it's great.

Tell her you painted it yourself.

I painted these myself, took forever.

-Oh, the...?

-The shutters. They were a nightmare.

Aha! What do I see

on the trusty task screen?

Start shaking your hand uncontrollably.

I get very sweaty palms.

Bit of a jazz hand.

Tell her you can't stop it. Keep shaking.

Sorry...

Now the other one's going.

Start dancing.

Is this working for you?

This might be quite a good photo.

Is that working for you? Slightly?

Maybe we could do some blurry ones.

Maybe I should get my face going as well.

Start doing the boogie. Face the wall.

I might get these back shots, too.

Great remote-controlling, Kieran.

There's six minutes of the ten left now,

and Craig's not stopped moving one bit.

Pick up a book and start reading it but keep dancing.

What I might do is I might just incorporate a magazine into it.

That might be good.

Just going to keep boogie-ing if that's all right.

'Craig, if you danced like this on Strictly, you'd have given yourself two out of ten!'

Let me try this... With the gold cushions.

'What's he doing on the bed?'

Maybe a natural one.

-Is that all right?

-That's nice, yeah.

Maybe I'll just do...

I might do some of these ones.

Have you got any good ones yet?

Have you got any good ones yet, do you think?

-Yes.

-It's absolutely exhausting.

'There's no time for a lie down, Craig.

'There's an important challenge at stake.'

The remote controllers are relying on you. Only three minutes left.

Get off the bed.

Sorry.

Here's another task to stop her getting a snap of his face.

Use the whole body, keep dancing.

I'll get some dancing ones.

'Don't look at the camera at all.'

Really crazy moves.

Around the bath maybe.

Like that.

Hold that.

Start dancing with the light.

'The poor photographer's got her work cut out.'

Maybe with the light. Is that any good?

Could you do that again but a little bit slower?

'No, I didn't like that.'

This is the silliest photo shoot ever!

Drop it.

Keep running. Run about the room.

'She can't possibly be getting any decent snaps!'

Lots of blurry stuff.

Now what?!

Turn the photographer into your dancing partner.

You've got two minutes now.

I might need you to move your feet actually.

Are you going to teach me the waltz?

Go on. Do a bit of the Charleston, like this.

-'Will she dance with him?'

-Put the camera down.

Put the camera down for a minute and I'll just teach you the step.

Here we go.

Back and...

-OK.

-A bit more hip action.

There you go.

OK, pick your camera up.

And back...

into more of a split.

Tell her to put the camera down.

Put the camera down again. Sorry.

Can you do the splits? Sort of?

-Oh, my... You can!

-'They've done it!

'With 20 seconds to spare!

'Time to reveal the prank.'

You can reveal you've been remote-controlled.

Right.

I'm exhausted, darling. I can reveal that I'm being remote-controlled.

That was absolutely brilliant.

-I'm so sorry.

-Why?

You are such a great dancer!

-Isn't she amazing?!

-Do you not think it's a bit weird

to come round a celebrity's house and they get you to do weird things like this?

-Not really, no.

-Is that the norm?

-She was really up for it!

-I just thought that you were just

wanting to take some photos and get me to do the splits!

The challenge was to stop the photographer getting any good pictures for ten minutes.

She did her best with a very tricky celebrity customer.

Challenge over.

My favourite part has to be when he danced backwards.

Facing the wall.

My favourite part was when he told the photographer to drop the camera and start dancing with him.

Oh my... You can!

So then, remote controllers, are you ready to control your Strictly star,

Craig Revel Horwood into some more hot water?

-Yes!

-Yes.

Craig, this next challenge means going out onto the streets. How do you feel about that?

Uncomfortable.

Have you got your posh dancing shoes with you?

-Yes, I have.

-You will need them, go get them. Go on. Kids,

-are you ready for this next challenge?

-Yes.

-Come on, let's do it.

As Craig hits the streets, it's time for the remote controllers

to board the sneaky surveillance van,

where they can see Craig and boss him through his secret earpiece.

Right, Craig, its Joel. Can you hear me?

-I can, indeed.

-Now, you know all about dancing.

-Yes.

-What is the hardest dance there is to do?

-Probably the rumba.

The dance of love, very, very difficult.

OK, it's not the hardest dance. The hardest dance is a conga with strangers. Are you ready?

-Yeah, I'm ready.

-OK, let's do it.

Let's do the conga. Go for it.

Craig's task is simple:

Make as big a conga line as he can in ten minutes.

He's got a couple of props to help him and the remote controllers to guide him.

Do you know me?

I'm from Strictly Come Dancing.

I just want to dance, come on.

Don't wait in that line. You just want to dance.

What about you, lady on the cycle? Please, little conga with me?

That megaphone's either going to work brilliantly

or it's going to put everybody off joining Craig's conga.

Do a little dance.

OK, I'm going to teach you how to do the conga, darling.

Dum, dum, dum... Want to join me for a conga?

Come on. Just a quick one? Just a quick one.

That's a nice pink bag.

I'm loving your pink bag, my love.

Shame you don't want to dance.

Join me for the conga. Oh, here we go.

Here's some takers.

Come on. Do you want to join me for a conga?

-I only need five people. Come on.

-Are you going to give us £50?

£50? I don't think so!

This challenge is harder than it looks.

No-one wants to do Craig's conga.

No, just going to do a conga line, around that tree.

It's a magical tree.

It's a magic tree.

Sir, would you join me?

Come back here, lovely lady with the orange bag and the blue gorgeous trousers.

Come on, join me for the conga.

-Play your music.

-Yes, come on.

I'm going to put some music on and we're going to do the conga.

Come on.

'Craig's gone to get his mighty music machine.

'Oh look, he's finally found someone!'

Hold that for me.

Try and round up a few people, see if they'll join in.

'No-one wants to dance with Craig,

'and there's only 4.5 minutes left.

'He's still only got one person to join him. What a disaster, darling.'

See if you can get some more people.

Just push that button and we're going to do the conga.

Time for desperate measures.

Get her to sing, "Craig is a superstar".

Say, "Craig is a superstar and you need to join him for the conga".

Go on, quickly.

Come on, guys. Craig is a superstar, so you need to join him.

For the conga! Yes, good. Brilliant.

-Come on, round them up.

-Come on.

Look.

There's only 3.5 minutes left

and it's still only a conga of two, including Craig.

They've really got to do better.

The remote controllers need to think of something to help Craig -

-and quick.

-Try and get the man behind you.

Would you join us in the conga?

Oh, come on!

What about you, sir?

Come on. Join us with the conga.

'Come on, guys. Time to raise the stakes.'

Ask her if she'd like to be a judge on Strictly Come Dancing.

Would you like to be a judge on Strictly Come Dancing?

You'd be fabulous, darling.

You're doing very well.

Do the conga.

Yes. Good, yes! OK,

the three of us are going to go round and do it. Ready?

You're doing really, really well.

You're going to lead it, darling.

Then I'm going to get...

'Awesome. At last, he's got a conga of four people.

'Can they get any more before time runs out?'

Oh, lovely. Come on, join in. Come on!

Tell them you've been remote-controlled.

No, time's up.

What will his assistant think when we reveal it's a gag?

-Look, there's a camera up there. Can you see it?

-Oh, yes.

You were being remote controlled.

-He tried really hard.

-He did very well.

My favourite bit was when he got the girl to shout in the megaphone.

Come on, guys. Craig is a superstar, so you need to join him.

My favourite bit is probably when he

got four people to do the conga but it was so close.

Lovely. Come on, sir, join in.

If I was out there, I would've got more people to do the conga

and I would like, just grab them and say, "Come on, do it!

"It's only for fun"!

I'm enjoying most controlling the superstar,

making them just do really silly things in front of the public.

Five, six, seven, and...

# Do-do-do, come on and do the conga!

# Do-do-do...#

-Rock, paper, scissors.

-I'm a cowboy!

It's great that all these stars agree to be remote-controlled

through tricky situations on our show.

But to make it fair, JK and I have agreed to take

a taste of our own medicine on JK & Joel, Remote Controlled.

This is the part of the show where we

have to do exactly what we're told by a remote controlled text message.

We don't know what's coming our way,

but we have promised to obey orders, no matter how awful they are.

-TEXT ALERT

-And yes, here comes a text message.

-And it reads, "Put these on".

-What?

Oh, these.

I'm going to be honest with you, not really my colour.

-Don't think they're in my size.

-Got an idea.

-What? Put 'em on?

-How do I look?

-Great.

-Waiting for a text message now.

-Brrr...

-TEXT ALERT

-There it is, here it is. Read it.

-I'm too cold.

-Just read it.

-"You must buy three presents

"for your friend at three different stalls

"then shove them down his tights"!

How much of a friend are you today?!

-Just too cold.

-Want something to warm you up?

Come on, off you go. Go on. Go on.

Hi, mate. You all right? Can I have... Can I have...

can I have some raspberries, please?

-Yes, sure.

-Two quid. Right, get it, get it.

-There you go, sir.

-It's prickly.

Oh, no, not down my tights!

There you go.

Smashed up raspberries in the tights -

it couldn't get much worse, could it?

We would like to buy this chicken.

-Yes.

-I've never had a chicken in my pants.

-You can't put chicken down your pants.

-One chicken, in his tights.

-Get it down there, come on.

-No!

-There it is.

-No!

There you go, look at that.

-Put it down.

-Lovely bit of chicken for you.

-Can I have the olive oil, please? I'll pay you in a second.

-Whoa!

Get some of that, come on.

Come on, come on, come on!

Get it down. Get it down!

That trick has made it tricky to walk,

and there's one more stall to go,

and if there's one thing JK hates the most, it's fish.

-Is that really good?

-Really good.

Oh, right. Here, I've got this for you.

Have a smell. I know you like fish. Come on, last one.

-I can't do this any more!

-Open, open.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

It's alive! It's alive!

-Thanks.

-No! What's that?

-What is that?

-This is a squid. Especially for you, that one.

-It won't hurt you.

-I don't like fish.

Yes you do, look. It's lovely.

-There you are.

-Is it going to bite me?

-No.

Be brave, be brave. Come on then....

It's absolutely freezing. Come on.

It's been on ice!

Argh! Argh!

It won't go down any more!

What the...?!

Not that bit as well. That's two!

It's got eight legs and stuff.

No, not that one.

There we go, champ.

We never break our promises.

What a harsh task.

Those tights were shameful enough without having to stuff "stuff" down.

It couldn't possibly get tougher next time.

Right then, Craig is ready for his last challenge.

He's in the next room, the sitting room,

which we've disguised as a dance room, just for today.

Craig's in position and he's about to be joined by

a very special dance partner.

Craig, are you ready for your dancing partner to enter the room?

-I am indeed.

-Prepare yourself. Good luck, everyone.

Here's your sidekick, Joel.

Oh!

Hi, Craig.

-How do I look?

-Um... Professional.

-'Right Craig, are you ready?'

-Yes.

You and your side kick, Joel,

are meeting three excellent dancers who have come to impress you.

Every time Joel dances,

you've got to pretend that he's the best thing you've ever seen on TV.

Then when the dancers try to do their moves,

-you have to prefer Joel's dancing, no matter how stupid.

-Uh...

Now the remote controllers here will it'll be guiding you through

what to say and do

and you've got ten minutes to keep this going, no matter what happens.

I am so looking forward to this.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

-OK.

'This is going to be ridiculous. As always, tricky tasks will be

'popping up on the screen to make our remote controllers' job even harder.

-Hi.

-'Here come the three expert dancers.'

'Joel's role is an assistant choreographer, called Bryn.'

Welcome.

This is Bryn, of course.

My assistant choreographer.

Oh, dear. This is going to be cringey.

Here we go.

So, why don't we start with...

Josh? Let's have you. Double pirouette, please.

OK, try it again. Try it again. Don't worry, calm down.

Yes, you can take them off.

Slow it down. Off you go.

THEY WHISPER

That really stunk.

You're landing sort of... stunk, really. Try it again.

Slow it right down.

'No, his pirouette was great. Craig misheard. They want him to pretend he's got smelly feet.'

Good, much better. Excellent.

Say, "Please put your shoes back on, they're smelling up the room".

Please put your shoes back on, they're smelling up the room.

OK. Can you put your shoes back on because there's a bit of a...

a bit of a whiff. Smelling up the room, sorry, darling!

OK, how are they going to handle this?

Get them to dance, heads, shoulders knees and toes.

'Good choice of nursery rhyme there.'

Let me line you up and Bryn, can you go in this as well please, my love?

So, Nathaniel, Scott, then Josh and then Bryn on that side there.

I'm going to give you, I'm just going to give you a little prop each to see how you cope with that,

see what you can do with that. There you go. So you do,

heads and then shoulders, whatever rhythm you can make, something funky,

knees, toes, knees, toes. Bryn, if you can lead it for them, help them out a bit?

Thanks, mate.

Thank you, darling. And...

And off we go.

Heads. Shoulders.

Knees. Toes, Knees, toes.

'Nice one. Five minutes of this super silly audition

and no-one suspects a thing. But Bryn's had a trouser accident.'

I've just split my pants.

CRAIG LAUGHS Don't worry.

No-one's looking. You'll be all right. We're just going to do a big combination.

Josh, get this together, darling.

Here we go. And...

Learn this.

Exactly...

OK, that's good.

Say, "Bryn, that was excellent".

That was excellent.

OK, brilliant. Thank you, Bryn. That was excellent work.

Just need my note pad. Thank you.

That won't be easy seeing as Joel - sorry, Bryn - has got two left feet.

Bryn, can you come in please, darling?

'There are four minutes left.'

Just the break dancing bit. I know.

Don't worry about that, darling. Don't worry, no-one's looking.

That's rubbish, Joel.

-That was excellent.

-OK, good.

That was absolutely fantastic.

Can you try it like that?

'These guys look a bit suspicious now.'

OK.

The remote controllers have to make Craig give these good dancers a hard time.

That's just too good.

That was...too good.

-That was too good.

-'They're doing a good job.'

-Say, "Not that bad".

-No...

Not that bad, actually.

Get them all on the floor and do break dancing.

You've got one minute left.

We're just going to do a bit of break dancing now.

It's a break dance-off.

It's a break dance-off, think of it like that,

that you're trying out-break dance each other.

Five, six, seven and...

'Surely Joel's rubbish dancing will give the game away now?'

'Ha, ha, ha! Look at Joel!

'They've got to keep this audition going for one more minute.

-'What can they come up with?'

-Tell Bryn he's doing great.

You're doing great, Bryn.

They've only got to keep it going a little bit longer.

That's excellent. Bryn...

that was absolutely fantastic.

'Well, Joel, fantastically bad, to be fair.'

-Time to reveal the joke.

-Reveal it.

I'm going to have to reveal that of course, we've been filming...

for a lovely television programme!

Guys, come back,

-come back.

-I'm sorry. I can only apologise!

Guys, come round.

What did you think of Bryn's dancing?

-Amazing.

-Thank you.

I thought it was a very loose style...

I think for old time's sake, can we

see the back spin break dance again? Come on! Bryn! Bryn! Go on.

THEY LAUGH

I had to say, "A bit more like that"!

Boys, you were brilliant. Thank you very much.

Craig did really well carrying out the instructions.

Yes. I think he did really good.

Knees. Toes. Knees, toes.

I would give Craig, probably ten out of ten.

I would probably give Craig ten.

Can you pop your shoes back on, because there's a bit of a...

a bit of a whiff. Smelling out the room. Sorry, darling!

Fabulous dancing from Joel.

Should be on Strictly Come Dancing. Amazing.

OK, good.

I think, can you try it like that?

It's been a tough day for Craig Revel Horwood

being remote-controlled. Are you glad it's over?

Most certainly. They've been really tough on me.

What's your favourite bit of the day?

-Not getting anyone in the conga.

-That was good. You nearly got that!

Four out of five ain't bad.

Guys, your favourite bit of the day today?

-The dancing.

-The dancing, you enjoyed that, did you?

When we went out into the street.

-I think the dancing as well.

-The dancing. Didn't that look great?

Shall we give Joel a big round of applause?

I think we should give the big star of the day a round of applause as well. Craig Revel Horwood!

So you won't forget us in a long while,

here are some prizes for you today, exclusive sweatshirts and caps.

Have a quick look through, go on, hand them out.

Brilliant, we hope you had a fantastic day.

That's it from us, until next time when we put another star together with three remote controllers

-here on...

-Remote Control Star!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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