Hayley Tamaddon Remote Control Star

Have you wanted to control a celebrity?

-Make your wish their command.

-This is the show where three mates

take charge of a star for a day, controlling them

through funny situations like these.

BUZZING

"Shout "show me the money"...

Show me the money!

'You've got to accidentally spill'

cereal all over the place.

Oh, dear.

(Squirt it at him.)

MANIACAL LAUGHTER

Now be a duck.

HE QUACKS

All the action takes place in our celebrity house.

It's rigged from top to bottom with hidden cameras and microphones

and our remote controllers will be based here...

MACHINES BEEP

in this high-tech control room, giving their star instructions

via a secret ear piece.

It's time to remote control another star.

Let's meet today's remote controllers.

I'm Josh. I'm the cheeky one, so our star better not mess with me.

Hi, I'm Nessim, I'm the cool one

and the brainy one and I'm going to think of all the pranks today.

Hi, I'm Lydia.

I'm the boss. I'm going to be taking charge

of these guys today and the star.

Lydia's my sister. I think Lydia's going to bring some funny pranks

and some cheeky pranks as well.

Nessim's funny, he has a good sense of humour.

If you were talking, he wouldn't be boring,

he would be very interesting.

Josh is a guy who always does pranks on people

and he's really funny as well.

-Have you got a star for us today?

-Oh, I've got a star for us today.

Today's star is a top actress

best known for playing Delilah in Emmerdale

and for winning Dancing On Ice. Today's Remote Control Star is...

-..Hayley Tamaddon.

-CHEERING

-Hi, guys! Hello! Group hug. Are you all right?

-Yes.

-What's your name?

-Nessim.

-Nessim, nice to meet you.

-Lydia.

-Nice to meet you.

-Josh.

-Nice to meet you.

-They got a group hug.

-Yeah.

You're not getting a hug, absolutely not.

Remote Controllers, what do you think of your star?

-Do you think they'll be any good?

-Yes!

Right, Hayley, what's your first impression

of our Remote Controllers?

I think they're going to be mischievous,

little naughty monkeys, to be quite honest.

-And are you feeling nervous?

-Really nervous.

Really nervous. Please be good to me.

-And you two.

-There's one other thing.

-Go on?

-You have to promise to obey all orders, no matter how tricky,

by these Remote Controllers. Do you promise?

-OK, I promise.

-Right, brilliant. Are you ready for challenge one?

-Yes.

-Hayley, here is your hidden ear piece.

You need to go and wear that and get ready for challenge one. Good luck.

-Remote Controllers, are you ready?

-Yes.

-Let's go and Remote Control.

Hayley's in position in the kitchen.

Four cameras are covering her every move.

It's time for the first of her three challenges.

-Hayley, it's JK. Can you hear me?

-Yes, I can.

Are you wondering what you're doing in the kitchen?

-Yes.

-Don't worry, you don't have to do the washing up.

-OK.

But what we've done is fix it for you to have a top cookery lesson.

-Ooh.

-Hayley, it's Joel here.

-Hi, Joel.

-It's not going to be that easy.

-Oh, what?

You're going to be messing around, it's going to be a nightmare

and you're going to make it the weirdest cookery lesson ever.

OK, yeah, let's do it.

The Remote Controllers will be helping you through your mission.

We've got to keep it going

-for 15 minutes.

-15 minutes?!

-15 minutes.

-That's ages.

So, the main challenge is

to cause chaos in the kitchen with a top TV chef

who thinks he's come to give her a cookery lesson.

Tasks will pop up on this screen.

Will the Remote Controllers be able to get Hayley to do them?

Listen out for the doorbell. He'll be here any second. Good luck.

Listen up, Remote Controllers, and remember -

he knows nothing about the hidden cameras.

I'm getting nervous now, I need a wee.

Cameras are set, Hayley's in position and the chef has arrived.

It's now over to the Remote Controllers. Here goes.

Hiya, Andy. Nice to meet you. Come in. Thank you!

Hiya. Come in. Right...

Do you recognise him?

Do I recognise you from somewhere?

I was on MasterChef.

I watch a lot of cooking programmes, but you look really familiar.

So, what is it you want to do?

You've got to do some cooking on TV, is that right?

Basically, I've got to do a cooking show

and I've got to make dips and the one in particular

they've asked me to make

-is hummus, but I have no idea how to make hummus.

-OK, cool.

So, what do you need - a bowl?

So, we've worked out he was a MasterChef finalist.

So, he'll be hoping to teach Hayley a thing or two about food.

Our Remote Controllers have other plans.

Pretend you hate all the food the chef suggested.

OK, a good trick here is

take it and squash it and take the skin off, which is really easy.

-Then add some salt.

-I hate salt.

I'm not a massive salt fan, to be honest.

-That's a lot of salt.

-It's not a lot of salt.

-I hate salt.

-I don't really like salt.

-Yeah, but..

-Will I taste it?

-Or garlic.

-Not in all that, you won't even taste it at all.

I'm going to tell you a secret. I hate the taste of garlic.

What a fuss pot. Good work.

Well, it normally goes in hummus,

so it's up to you whether you put it in.

But it's not like a strong taste, because there isn't very much.

-I hate hummus.

-So, if you just squash it up with the salt.

Right. I actually hate hummus.

I hate most dips and I don't know why I'm actually doing this show.

Well, it'll be fun, it'll be fun.

-I love sprouts.

-I love sprouts, though.

Good. I don't know if there are any dips with sprouts.

Really? No veggie dips with sprouts in?

-They play havoc with my wind.

-I don't cook very much so...

Probably horrible with dip as well.

Yes, can you imagine the after effects?

I think they would give me wind...

-Yeah, they probably would.

-..if I made a Brussels sprout dip.

Make a sound of the fart.

Can you imagine the noises? It'd be, like, full on, like, farting.

SHE IMITATES A FART NOISE

Right, time to play a trump card and start the cooking with another task.

Insist on making beans on toast.

Add lemon juice and then mash it up.

You know what I'd rather make?

-What?

-Beans on toast.

-Yeah, I know, yeah.

-Can we make it?

-Beans on toast?

-Yeah. Do you fancy some?

-Show me how it's done.

-Shall we have beans on toast?

You've got to learn something here!

-I will, but let's have beans on toast.

-You won't learn something.

Honestly. Come on, I've got bread and I've got beans and

I'm starving and you are a chef and you're only here for, how long?

You show me your recipe for beans on toast.

-You'll do it better than me.

-You'll do it much better than me.

-Oh, my bread's frozen.

-That's brown bread.

Is that brown bread?

You know that's white bread.

You might not be a chef, but you know that's white bread.

Is he beginning to lose his cool?

Come on, Hayley, we don't want him to get suspicious.

How do you make toast?

Right, tell me how to do this. Where's my toaster?

-Put the bread in the toaster.

-INAUDIBLE

Seriously, I have to use the grill because...

-You must have a toaster.

-No.

Do a random dance.

Oh, man, I can't...

Crikey, he's lost for words.

This cooker's rubbish.

-This cooker is rubbish.

-It's not rubbish.

It is rubbish.

Just do beans on bread.

OK, what about beans on bread? We could just butter the bread.

-Beans on frozen bread?

-Would that be nice?

-It would be horrible.

-Let's just try it.

-I've got butter.

-Sit on the bread to warm it up.

Do you know what we could do?

Don't laugh when I do this, but it is frozen, but we could do that.

-Sit on it?

-Yes, to warm it up a little bit.

-SHE LAUGHS

-She sat on the bread!

-My gran taught me this.

-My gran used to do this.

-Really.

-This is my grandma's trick.

Nice one, Josh. What a wind up merchant.

Hayley is doing amazingly well. Keep it up.

With just three minutes to go, it's time for the final task.

Convince the chef to splat a tomato on his head.

I can't wait to see this.

-Basically, at the end of this cooking programme...

-Yeah.

..I have to come up with a trick.

-If this is a comedy show, you are a shoe in.

-Really? You reckon?

I need to test it out and I'm hoping you are going apply to this

because I think I can tell you stuff.

Basically, these tomatoes, I'm going to take the skin off

and I'm going to put it on his head and just go like that.

-All right.

-But I'm going to do it when he's not looking

for the comedy element.

-Stick the skin on his head?

-No, the whole tomato.

-Oh, the whole tomato and squash it?

-And squash the whole tomato.

-That's a good idea.

-Will it work?

-It will squash.

-Will it squash?

-Oh, yeah, it will squash.

-Please can I try it?

-Not on me.

-You can wash your hair afterwards.

-No chance. You try it on yourself.

and I will give you my expert opinion.

-I'll pay you double.

-Can I just try it?

-No.

How about if I pay you to let me try it.

Nobody else will agree to doing it.

It looks like he's had enough.

Come on, Hayley, focus. Time is running out.

Start begging, get on your knees.

Please, please, please. Just one tomato. Please. Please.

-Time's up.

-Hayley, it's JK. Tell him he's on a hidden camera show.

We're coming in.

It's going to look brilliant on TV

and also it's going to look really good

on a hidden camera show, which you are on.

SHE LAUGHS

-Hello.

-JK, Joel.

-Hi, Andy.

-And I think you've met Hayley, yeah?

-Just about.

First, I'll explain what's been going on, shall I?

In that room over there, there's a load of Remote Controllers

telling Hayley exactly what to do.

You tried hard to get the tomato.

-I really tried hard.

-He was having none of it.

Was the bread thing a lie as well?

-Everything, everything.

-I was going to chat to my granny about that.

See?! I'm pretty good at this.

That dip, how far did you get?

-Not very far.

-Here, I'll taste it.

We never did get to see the tomato splatted.

HE LAUGHS

Oh!

See what you got out of, Andy?

SHE LAUGHS

-Amazing.

-That was so funny. Funniest part was when

she sat on the bread and made that farting noise.

Don't laugh when I do this, but it is frozen, but we could do that.

-Sit on it?

-Yeah, to warm it up a little bit.

Oh, yeah, the salt. He was, like, putting salt.

I don't like this, I don't like that.

-Remote Controllers, are you having fun so far?

-Yes.

-Are you ready to guide Hayley through to the next challenge?

-Yes.

Now, because of that tomato on your head,

JK's ramped up the pressure for this next challenge.

-I'm still finding it.

-You'll be finding it for weeks.

Hayley, we're going to take you out of your comfort zone.

-You're coming out of mansion and you're going on the streets.

-What?

And all I'll say to you is, this next challenge, if you get it right,

will be a work of art.

-Oh, no.

-Don't think about it.

You just go and get ready for the next challenge.

-Right, bye, guys.

-Bye!

-See you! Good luck.

-Thank you.

Hayley's out on the streets for her challenge.

She has 15 minutes to test her creative powers of persuasion

by pretending to be a celebrity portrait artist.

It will be a brush stroke of genius if she pulls this off.

The Remote Controllers will be inside the van,

watching and giving Hayley orders through her secret ear piece.

-Hayley, it's JK.

-Hey, JK.

-How are you?

I'm all right. What's going on?

I never knew you were such a talented drawer.

I did pretty well, right? Look at Simon.

It's really, really good.

-Anyway, are you ready for your challenge?

-Ready.

You've got to get people to let you draw their picture

for your celebrity street art project.

-In other words, you're a celebrity artist.

-Oh, what?

But they are going to be the worst drawings ever and, as ever,

the Remote Controllers will help you think of what to say and do.

Are you up for the challenge?

This is going to be really hard.

-You know you can do it.

-Oh, JK, look at this.

-I've got glasses, right.

-Yeah? If I put these on,

do I look like a proper artist?

-Oh, what a disguise! That's an amazing disguise.

-Who is that?

Just out of curiosity, can you draw?

No, I'm rubbish at drawing.

Well, this challenge should be really easy, then.

-Let's do it, good luck.

-Here we go. Who am I going to get?

I'm really pretty nervous about this.

Excuse me, could I borrow you a minute?

Do you think you've got a couple of minutes to help me out?

-What is it for?

-Right,

I'm doing a celebrity caricature drawing

and I need to choose someone in the street to just draw quickly.

-Nice hair.

-You've got nice hair.

-Got someone.

-This is what I've done so far.

There's Brad Pitt, Simon Cowell, so I'm pretty good, right?

Who, that one? No, it's Brad Pitt.

It does look a bit like Olly Murs, though!

-Come and sit on this stool here for me. Where are you from?

-Australia.

You're Australian? Oh, wow! Cool.

Right, are you ready? I'm pretty good at this.

-Do you like surfing?

-Surfing, snowboarding.

You like snowboarding? Oh, cool.

I'm not happy with that one, screw it up.

I'm not happy with that at all.

I'm just going to start again.

That wasn't very good at all.

Say, "This is my best art ever."

This is probably one of the best ones I've ever done, actually.

This is really good.

The bloke thinks he's going to get a good picture but instead,

he's getting something that even a five-year-old would laugh at.

-Keep still, keep still.

-OK, keep still. Got it. OK.

Just do that again.

That's brilliant. OK, stay there, stay there.

Tell him to do it 20 times.

Do it, like, probably about 20 times, but just keep moving it. Yeah.

And then I can just... That's so good.

I did the Jedward last week.

-Last week, I did Jedward,

-Oh, really?

How cool's that? Maybe we could give you a bit of a Jedward quiff.

-Scribble all over it now.

-Keep going.

-OK, that's so good.

-You wouldn't believe how much money

I've been making off this.

-I've been making loads of money doing it, you know?

-Have a guess.

Have a guess how much I've made.

Well, I try and sell them for, like, a fiver.

They've only agreed to have their portraits done in the first place

because they were expecting them to look like this.

-It's time to reveal those masterpieces.

-OK, you can stop.

-You're going to love this.

-You're going to love this.

If you're going to take it home, you have to pay for it.

If you want to take it home,

I might charge you a little bit of money, but not a lot.

-Right, I think I'm pretty much done.

-Tell them to close their eyes.

Stand up with your eyes closed

because I don't want to reveal it too soon.

-Stay right where you are.

-You're going to love it.

-You're going to love it.

-I think it's a brilliant likeness.

It's a really, really good likeness

and you're absolutely going to love it. Have a look.

-That is wicked.

-THEY LAUGH

Try turning him upside down, because he is Australian.

OK, have a look.

THEY LAUGH

Do you want to buy it from me?

-No.

-Have a look.

-Are you happy with this?

-Yes.

-Do you like it?

-What do you honestly think?

-What do you honestly think?

-Um...

Don't hurt my feelings, please.

Please don't hurt my feelings.

THEY LAUGH

-You think it looks like a kid's drawn it?

-I'm an artist.

Are you taking the mickey?

-I am an artist. You're taking the mickey.

-Reveal it.

-OK.

Thank you very much for being on my hidden camera show.

Look up there. There's a camera. There you go.

Thank you. You've been a really good sport.

I liked the moment when they said it's free to draw,

but if you take it home, then it costs a lot of money.

If you want to take it home,

I might, like, charge you a little bit of money.

I would not like her doing my picture.

It's amazing that all these stars

agree to be Remote Controlled on our show.

But to make things fair, we promised to have a go at it ourselves.

This is JK and Joel Remote Controlled.

This is the part of the show

where we're told exactly what to do by Remote Control text message.

The thing is, we never know what's coming our way,

but we have promised to obey every command.

I'm just waiting for that command now.

Here we are, here we are.

-It says, "Go and find a department store." Is that it?

-That's easy.

-There's one over there.

-Come on.

Do you know what? I've been wanting to update my wardrobe for ages?

Mate, there was something I was going to talk to you about.

Hang on! You must now find three items of clothing

for each other and then get dressed.

Easy.

Joel's bound to get me something ridiculous.

This is going to be so embarrassing.

I'll have to give as good as I get.

Just wait until JK sees what I've got for him.

We're not really going to have to wear these in public, are we?

Oh, no.

This is not going to be embarrassing, is it?

-You couldn't even get the right size.

-Hang on - you said medium.

Yeah, adult medium.

We're back at the celebrity house

with our Remote Controllers Josh, Lydia and Nessim.

And in the sitting room, it looks like a right mess.

Has our star, Hayley Tamaddon,

forgotten to tidy up or is this part of another prank?

OK...

Camera...hello.

OK, guys, Hayley's in position in the sitting room.

She's ready for her third and final challenge.

Headphones on, lights down.

-Hey, can you hear me?

-Hayley, it's JK.

We can hear you, can you hear us?

-I can hear you, boys, yes.

-Have a quick look round that room.

-Yeah, it's a tip.

-It's terrible, isn't it,

when your sitting room's all messy and you have to go out

-and you haven't got time to clear it up.

-Yeah.

And the story is...exactly that.

But you've got a cleaner coming round to tidy up for you.

Oh, cool. Excellent.

It's Joel here and even better news - I've ordered you

-a big beefy bloke to come round.

-Is he nice?

You'll have to wait and see.

But you're going to have to turn him into a make up artist.

How am I going to get him to do that?

He will be here soon. Listen out for the doorbell.

The Remote Controllers will tell you exactly what to do

and what you can get away with.

-He knows nothing about the hidden cameras. Good luck, Hayley.

-What?!

So, the main challenge is to persuade this cleaner guy

to become her make up artist within 15 minutes.

As always, tricky tasks will be popping up on the screen

to make our Remote Controllers' job even harder.

I wonder how much this man will know about make up?

Yeah?

-Cleaner's here.

-Oh, hiya, are you all right?

Nice to meet you. Sorry, I'm so late, I'm just getting ready.

Right, the cleaner's here, let's see how Hayley copes.

Are you all right cleaning the living room for me, is that OK?

-Yeah.

-I'm so sorry it's such a bit of a tip.

Please could you start by doing the washing? It's all clean that,

-it just needs folding. Is that OK?

-OK, fold it?

Yeah, just start with that. I'm so, I'm meant to have a make up

artist come and help me and they've not turned up

and my hairdresser didn't turn up, so I'm completely behind.

I was meant to be there ages ago and I'm so late.

He has started cracking on with the cleaning job,

but how easy will it be to make him become a make-up artist?

Make up a ridiculous reason why the cleaner has to do

your make up for you.

Gosh, I'm so late. Absolutely, so late.

I haven't even done my make up or my hair.

While you're doing your nails, tell him to do your make up.

Actually, you could really help me with something.

I need to do lipstick and blusher. Do you do make up or anything?

Because my make-up artist is not here and not coming

and I don't do my own make up. Yeah, I'll try. Will you try?

Well, the blusher brush is poised and ready.

Look at him go! Good remote controlling.

-First time I've ever done this.

-First time ever, really?

This is what I need. Just squeeze a bit out and...

What the cleaner doesn't know is these mirrors are two way.

We can see everything.

-Say, "Ow!"

-That looks good. "Ow!"

Oh, sorry.

Nice play, Nessim.

-It's gone in my eye.

-It's gone in my eye.

I think that's gone in my eye. I've got a bit of glitter in my eye.

No, that's all right. Let me see.

I think that looks good!

Hayley deserves an award for this cheeky performance. Good work!

What will the Remote Controllers think of next?

Tell him to do your make up like a clown.

I'm meant to go in fancy dress to this premiere

and I didn't really have a costume.

What do you think if I didn't wear a costume, but did fancy dress make up?

Like, I went as a clown or something?

-You might be able to help me.

-Yeah, any time.

-Would you?

-That's so good.

-Ah, what a gent!

I'm rubbish at anything. I have a make up artist to do all of this.

Shout really loud, "I'm a clown!"

-Cool, I'm a clown!

-Well, done, Hayley, great remote controlling.

-What do clowns look like?

-Red nose.

-Give me a red nose.

-Like a proper clown, red nose. Anything clowny.

-With lipstick.

But you can use that, like cheeks or a nose.

She's got to keep this going for another five minutes.

-Big nose.

-Yeah, make it a big red nose,

because clowns have really big noses.

-Say, "Boo."

-"Boo."

Little does the cleaner know, Hayley and the Remote Controllers

won't be satisfied until he's made her whole face like a clown.

OK, what about cheeks? Like, circle cheeks.

Start laughing really loud.

SHE LAUGHS

Do I need anything else?

-Big black eyes.

-What about fake glasses or something.

-Yeah.

Don't press too hard, though.

-Square ones.

-What about square ones?

Is it definitely going to come off?

Will it come off? It will come off, won't it?

Put a moustache on me.

You know the old-fashioned clowns have the 'tash thing and the

beard thing and they go squiggle like that. One of them, as well.

-That?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on, do one of those.

You're pretty good at this.

-I want a beard.

-Right, I want a beard!

Go! Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

12 of the 15 minutes have gone. They need to come up with a way

to make it last three more minutes. Here's a final task to help.

Get him to agree to go with you to the celebrity event

you're attending tonight.

Right, I'm just going to call my date and check he's on his way.

He was meant to be here ages ago.

He texted me. He's not coming.

Oh, no, no! He's not coming.

His budgie's ill.

He said he turned round and went back because his budgie's dying.

Even with that budgie story, he still doesn't suspect a thing.

Two minutes left.

I need a date for the night. Do you want to come with me, as my guest?

I've got his costume, so you could wear his costume.

Do you want to see the costume? I've got it.

Quality outfit, Hayley!

Basically, it's like a strongman's type thing.

We'd look perfect together, because I'd go as a clown

and you'd go as strong man. You can just wear that across, like that.

Go to the toilet and try it on.

-Would you at least try it on and see what..?

-I don't mind trying it.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

I'll show you where the toilet is.

That is amazing!

This is brilliant!

The challenge was due to last 15 minutes. Time's almost up.

Oh, that is so good. It fits you so well.

You look amazing.

Aha, me Tarzan, you Jane. How fetching!

Hayley, tell him he's on a hidden camera. We're coming in!

It's time to reveal the joke...

Let me tell you something. You came here to do the cleaning.

What you've actually done is

you've just taken part in a hidden camera show.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You've been an absolute star, an absolute star.

You're the man.

Favourite moment is when he got changed and came back.

That is amazing!

That was so funny.

That was the best one so far.

CHEERING

Another group hug.

We don't get a group hug again.

There you go, boys. Have five.

Josh, your favourite part?

Definitely when Hugo was getting changed and he really fell for it.

He was brilliant. Star of the show.

My favourite part was when Hayley did all those horrible paintings

and someone actually wanted to buy one.

-Nessim, your favourite?

-When Hayley sat on the bread.

-And it was?

-Flat bread.

Flat bread, of course.

Have you enjoyed it, Hayley?

I've had a great day and it's been really good fun.

You made it really good for me. It's been great.

A round of applause for these guys.

Now, I have something for you, to remember us by.

The exclusive Remote Control Star baseball hats

and these cool hoodies as well. Take one of those each. Lovely stuff.

No group hug? No hoodie, no baseball cap for you.

Anyway, give yourself a big cheer. You've been great today, guys.

That's all we've got time for now, until next time when we put

another star together with three Remote Controllers here on...

ALL: Remote Control Star!

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