Hawaii Remotely Funny


Hawaii

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TRANSLATION FROM LOCAL LANGUAGE:

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Oh! Welcome to Remotely Funny.

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Hi, everyone.

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My name is Saara and this is Remotely Funny,

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the show that has the power to go anywhere in the UK

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and dive right into your living room

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so you never need to leave your house ever again.

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I'm serious.

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I'm coming in wirelessly,

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hijacking your home and then offering you prizes.

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You can play if you're in your PJs,

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you can play it if you are grounded,

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you can play even if you've got

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an entirely rational fear of birds,

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and you don't fancy leaving the house.

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Today, I'm in Hawaii. Aloha.

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CAMERA CLICKS

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Let's meet today's Remotely Funny contenders.

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First up, it's Arwen.

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Hello, Arwen.

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Hello!

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Arwen is 12 years old and from Lincolnshire.

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She loves acting, playing the piano and dolphins.

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Arwen is double-jointed and is always bending her fingers

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into weird shapes.

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Her favourite word is "pudding". Mmm!

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-Tell me who is with you today.

-I'm with my mum.

-Oh, wonderful.

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Great to meet you guys.

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So, Arwen, apparently, you're a get-up-and-go kind of girl.

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Well, I don't really like anything to pass me by.

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I always want to get out there.

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I like doing a lot of

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-adventurous things.

-Yeah.

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Me too.

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Your mom says your room is always messy.

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Have you ever found any old

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pizza under the bed?

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I wouldn't go that far, but I have found sweet wrappers in the past.

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-There was an old apple last week.

-Oh, no, Mum!

-No way!

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OK, Arwen,

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it's time to meet Daniel.

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Arwen, say hello to Daniel and his dad.

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-Hi.

-12-year-old Dan is from Hartlepool.

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He loves Harry Potter,

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playing video games and uses "LOL" far too much.

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Dan is super clumsy

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and loves Brussels sprouts.

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Let's hope he hasn't had too many today. Uh!

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You guys live in Hartlepool.

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When I come there on my holidays, what's good to visit?

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You should come to the Marina

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and the Trincomalee.

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It has lots of history.

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And there's a museum right next to it

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where you can view all the history of the town.

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I love a good museum. That sounds really good. Well, next.

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Axelle!

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Hello, Axelle. Everyone say hello to Axelle.

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-ALL:

-Hi!

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13-year-old Axelle is from Basingstoke.

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She's half French - ooh-la-la!

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Axelle loves baking,

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dipping apples in peanut butter and the word "toasty",

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but can't stand peppers.

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-Axelle, who are you with today?

-I'm with my family.

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Mm, wonderful. Axelle, what do you want to be when you get older?

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Um, either an actress or a midwife.

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Actress versus midwife?

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That's, like, two very different types of jobs!

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Interesting. Right, mums and dads,

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now, get out! Get out!

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Players, you have to stay.

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Before we begin, it is crucial that we talk about the prizes

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that you could get your mitts on.

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Firstly, the Remotely Funny glory.

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Secondly, the remotely funny hoodie.

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You'll have to open a savings account

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for all the street cred you'll be banking - kerching!

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It is time to show me your worst game faces.

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-Rarr!

-Rarr!

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Rarr!

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Rarr!

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Let's get this luau started.

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This is Bedroom Bonanza. The rules are simple.

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I name something,

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you have to collect it.

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The first one back with the item wins three

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of my sugar-coated samojis.

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All right, it's time to tear up your bedrooms.

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First item I want you to get is...

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something interesting from

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the room next to yours.

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Go! Something interesting from the room next to yours.

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What could it be?

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It could be anything. Come on.

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Remember, I said something interesting. Nothing too weird. Oh!

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And Axelle is back first.

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And then comes Daniel.

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OK, interesting.

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Axelle, what do you have?

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A window cleaner, I think.

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Why is that interesting?

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Because I never use it and I've never seen it before.

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Hm! A window cleaner that you've never seen before.

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Daniel, what did you bring for me?

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I've brought this little cuddly meerkat toy dressed as a superhero.

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Mm. Wonderful. Arwen, what did you bring for me?

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I have my step brother's hover board.

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Well, Axelle, you were back first,

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so that means you get three samojis.

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SHE CHEERS

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Next item.

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Bring me something that would be useful

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if you went on a secret spy mission.

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Go! Go, go, go, go, go.

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Bring me something that would be useful

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if you went on a secret spy mission.

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Come on, everyone, use your little brains.

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Oh, and Axelle is back first.

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OK. And Arwen, number two.

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Where's Daniel?

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Oh, here he is.

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Daniel, what did you bring for me?

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It's my mum's old make-up/jewellery kit thing.

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You could hide things that you'd

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need for your mission inside it.

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That is very creative.

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Arwen, what do you have?

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I have my stepsister's Penny board.

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-Ooh, OK, you're all about the boards. I see.

-I am.

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So, why would you take that on a spy mission?

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Because it's very stealthy,

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so no-one could hear me come up and sneak up on you.

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Oh, I like that.

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-Axelle, what about you?

-I have a torch.

-A torch?

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Wonderful! What would you use it for?

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You can use it for seeing in the dark or, like,

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signalling to other people.

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That's creative too.

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Well, Axelle, you were back first again

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so you get three samojis.

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Yay!

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However, Daniel, because you were creative,

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I'm going to give one extra samoji for you.

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Hey!

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Item number three. The last item.

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I want to see something you would wear

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if you were going to Number 10 Downing Street

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to meet the Prime Minister.

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Go! What would you wear to meet the Prime Minister?

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Come on, is it going to be someone else than Axelle,

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Yes! It is Arwen.

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Oh, Daniel!

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You're back.

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Axelle, are you changing your clothes mid-game?

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Come on, you don't have to impress anyone. Arwen, what do you have?

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I have a very special pair of socks.

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OK, why are they special?

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Well, these are no ordinary socks.

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If you wear them,

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you look like the most glamorous person in the whole world.

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-Sure, Arwen. Sure.

-Don't doubt it.

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Daniel, what did you get me?

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I've got this suit

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so that you'd look very professional and smart

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if you went to 10 Downing Street.

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Charming, Daniel, charming.

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Axelle, this must be very special

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because you took the longest.

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What do you have?

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I have the jacket.

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I want to look cool for Theresa May.

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Oh, well, I did hear

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that she does like leather jackets.

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-That's lucky.

-Arwen, you were back first,

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so you get three samojis for that.

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-Whoo!

-Congratulations.

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It's Super Samoji Time.

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Daniel is on one.

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Arwen is on three.

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And top of the Samoji Board is Axelle with six.

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It's time for Toilet Takedown.

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TOILET FLUSHES

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Everyone to the toilets!

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Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day,

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and the same applies here.

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We still have four more games to play.

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In Toilet Takedown, I'll be logging the scores,

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so no-one else LOG anything, please.

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Write your answers on the closest thing to paper,

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which, in the bathroom, is the loo roll.

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Here comes the question.

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In 2013, an Australian company

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produced the world's most expensive toilet paper.

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It was made of 22-carat gold.

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But for three samojis, can you guess how much one roll cost?

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Write down your answers.

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And don't show me yet.

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How much did the 22-carat gold toilet paper roll cost?

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KLAXON

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Does everyone have an answer already?

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-Yeah.

-Wipe off now. Let's get to it.

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Everyone bring your answers

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to the camera.

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Let's see what you guys wrote down.

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Axelle, what does yours say?

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-£2 million.

-Interesting. Arwen, what about you?

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-I wrote 10,000.

-OK, and Daniel?

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£820,000.

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The correct answer is...

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£825,000.

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-Daniel, I'll give you three samojis for that.

-Yay!

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Well, now that's over,

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we've really lightened our loads.

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Mentally, mentally, guys.

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Let's watch some LooTube.

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I'm going to ask you a question based on the LooTube,

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and the first one to flush the loo gets to answer.

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'Course, I know you'd never let your pets play with your toys.

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So the question is...

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How many owls were in the clip?

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Axelle, how many?

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Three!

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Yes, Axelle, you got it right.

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That's one bonus samoji for you.

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Yay!

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There was one on the horse

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and two on the weird skateboard things with umbrellas.

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-Hey, Arwen.

-Yes?

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Do I hear you say you'd like an extra samoji?

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-You did.

-Great. Come here, then. Come closer to me.

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For a little extra something,

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what did your mum tell me annoys her most in the house?

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Me spitting in the sink when I brush my teeth

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and not cleaning it out properly?

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No, that is NOT the correct answer.

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The correct answer was your dad,

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for leaving his beard trimmings in the sink.

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-Eurgh. Yeah.

-I'm sorry.

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That's the end of Toilet Takedown.

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Let's see who's swimming in samojis.

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Arwen's on three,

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Daniel's on four,

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and extending her lead is Axelle with seven.

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It's time for Food Flash.

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Everyone to the kitchen!

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Daniel, are we there yet?

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-No, not yet.

-It's your time to shine.

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Only three more chances to grab some super samojis.

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For this game, I'm going to show you a food flash picture of

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one of my favourite Finnish dishes.

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And you have 45 seconds to recreate the dish.

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Samojis for the player

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who makes their dish look as close to the picture as possible.

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A Finnish kitchen is not complete

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without at least one bottle of ruskeakastike,

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or just gravy to you. All hail the gravy!

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Everyone shout, "I love ruskeakastike!"

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-ALL:

-I love ruskeakastike!

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Beautiful.

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You make me proud.

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Today's dish is a true winner. It's known locally "a wafer-a-swim."

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And here it is.

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Today, our contestants will be creating a dish

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that favours looks at the expense of taste.

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They'll stack six wafers to form a stand,

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and then balance six breadsticks to form a grill.

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The plate is then covered in canned cream,

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and the grill adorned with four gravy drizzles.

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Freshly tinned sardines, delicious.

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Start cooking!

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Shout orders at your parents like you're the boss of them!

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Come on, Arwen and Arwen's mom.

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Axelle, I see your whole family is into it.

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I love that.

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Arwen, talk me through it, what are you doing?

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We're trying to build the basis of the foundation.

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Perfect. Strong foundations are crucial in this dish.

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Great, don't forget the finished gravy.

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Five, four, three, two, one...

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Stop cooking, everyone!

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Put everything down.

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Let's take a look at your finished dishes.

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Bring it up close so I can see what you've made.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Wow, let's rewind that!

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All that hard effort and work gone to waste.

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Arwen, how does this dish compare

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to your famous pineapple upside-down cake?

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I'm not sure if this takes the biscuit or not,

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but it looks pretty good.

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It does. I am telling you, I knew it would turn out like that.

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Daniel, who do you think would eat this in your family and why?

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Probably my mum because she is the only one who likes sardines.

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I love sardines as well. Axelle, you love baking,

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but would you swap a cake for this creation?

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Arwen, your dish looks the closest to the original picture,

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so Arwen gets three samojis.

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Whoo!

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Wonderful, wonderful.

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Parents, are you ready to discover how tasty a dish it is?

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Bonus samojis for parents that don't just try it,

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they must celebrate it in all its glory.

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Come on, everyone try it out!

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It's delicious, I swear.

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Eat it, Mum!

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Oh, wonderful. Axelle's parents are really loving it.

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And sister. Oh, Axelle's Dad is really, really loving it.

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And so is Arwen's mom.

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Arwen's mom, what do you love about this dish?

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Absolutely nothing.

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Daniel's mom, you seem like you actually enjoy it too.

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I love that.

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Everyone gets bonus samojis,

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because everyone's parents tried it out.

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Congratulations.

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THEY CHEER

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However, Axelle... Shh, come here.

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Axelle, I've got a chance

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for you to bag an extra samoji.

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-Are you interested?

-Yes.

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I had a little chat with your dad earlier,

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and he told me a very interesting food fact about himself.

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If you can get this question right, the samoji is yours.

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How old was your dad when he had his first ever pizza?

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27?

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Yes! You get an extra samoji! The correct answer is 27.

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Now that you've all had some good home cooking,

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let's check in with my samojis.

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Daniel's on five,

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Arwen is on seven and Axelle is still leading the way with nine.

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Whoohoo!

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THEY CHEER

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It's time to meet your Remotely Funny families.

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Let's go to the living room. Everyone to the living room!

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Come on! I don't have all day.

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Plus, you only have two more chances at scoring some important samojis.

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Arwen, Daniel and Axelle, get something to hide behind

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because I fancy a spot of mum moves and dad dancing.

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Now, there will be three samojis

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for the highest number on the pedometer I've sent you.

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Plus one for style. Please don't hold back.

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I want to see sweat on your brows.

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Show me that your pedometers are set to zero.

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Daniel, it's at zero. Axelle, I see a beautiful zero.

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Wonderful. Now, parents, take a look at this clip for inspiration.

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Hey-ey!

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Ooh! Now, ready, go!

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Axelle, I see your dad came prepared.

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And Daniel's dad has "Hawaii" on his T-shirt.

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He must mean business!

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Oh, Arwen's mom, that movement is beautiful.

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It's like you're here with me.

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I like those little baby leaps you're doing.

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-It adds to the experience.

-Dad, come on, you can do it!

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OK, stop dancing.

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Arwen, talk to me about the feelings you felt watching that.

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I actually felt quite proud of Mum then.

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I didn't think she could dance that well.

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Neither did I. Daniel, will you be taking your dad to the school disco?

0:16:410:16:46

I certainly wouldn't do anything public with that dancing.

0:16:460:16:50

OK. Axelle, what did you think about your dad's dancing?

0:16:500:16:54

What was lacking?

0:16:540:16:55

A bit more rhythm and movement.

0:16:550:16:58

Ha-ha-ha, which is the definition of dancing.

0:16:580:17:01

Yeah.

0:17:010:17:02

Hold up your pedometers. This is the science.

0:17:020:17:06

OK.

0:17:060:17:08

Axelle's pedometer is saying 62.

0:17:080:17:10

Arwen's pedometer is saying 86.

0:17:100:17:13

And Daniel's says ten. Arwen gets three samojis for those steps.

0:17:140:17:19

-BOTH:

-Whoohoo!

0:17:190:17:21

Axelle gets one samoji for overall style...

0:17:220:17:25

-Yes!

-Yay!

0:17:250:17:27

..with the skirt and all, you know.

0:17:270:17:30

And Daniel gets one samoji for cringe.

0:17:300:17:33

-ALL:

-Hey!

0:17:330:17:34

It's still a samoji.

0:17:340:17:36

OK, peeps, let's loop.

0:17:360:17:38

Hey, Daniel, I've got a chance for you to get your hands

0:17:560:17:58

on an extra samoji.

0:17:580:18:00

Come closer. I asked your dad

0:18:000:18:02

who has the weirdest habits in the house.

0:18:020:18:04

I'll give you a samoji

0:18:040:18:06

if you can tell me who it is and what the weird habit is.

0:18:060:18:09

It's probably my mum.

0:18:100:18:12

And it's probably when she's picking her toenails at night

0:18:140:18:17

and leaving it on the coach.

0:18:170:18:20

No way! You do that?! You are one of those?!

0:18:200:18:24

Well, Daniel, that's the correct answer.

0:18:240:18:27

-You get one extra samoji.

-Yay!

0:18:280:18:30

Let's catch up with the samojis.

0:18:310:18:33

Daniel is on seven,

0:18:330:18:35

and Arwen and Axelle are sharing the top spot with ten.

0:18:350:18:38

Families, out you go!

0:18:410:18:43

Take that mirror ball

0:18:430:18:44

and go and take a long look at yourself. Outside!

0:18:440:18:47

Focus, my players. It is the last chance to win big.

0:18:520:18:57

This game is called Say What You See Mojis.

0:18:570:19:00

Look at my samojis

0:19:000:19:01

and tell me what they're meant to represent.

0:19:010:19:03

First person to buzz in and answer correctly wins

0:19:030:19:06

the hallowed samojis.

0:19:060:19:08

Go and get a buzzer!

0:19:080:19:10

Get me a buzzer.

0:19:100:19:12

Everyone got their buzzers? Cos I've got mine.

0:19:120:19:15

CAN RATTLES

0:19:170:19:19

BELL RINGS

0:19:190:19:21

Oh, that's going to be perfect.

0:19:210:19:22

First Say What You See Moji.

0:19:220:19:25

It's a fairytale.

0:19:250:19:26

BELL RINGS. Axelle!

0:19:280:19:30

Cinderella.

0:19:310:19:33

Yes. You get three samojis, Axelle.

0:19:330:19:35

Yay!

0:19:350:19:37

Time for the second one.

0:19:370:19:39

Clue, it's a phrase.

0:19:390:19:40

CAN RATTLES

0:19:430:19:44

-Arwen, what is it?

-The early bird gets the worm.

0:19:440:19:48

Yes, that is correct. So you get three samojis.

0:19:480:19:51

Whoo!

0:19:510:19:53

Here comes the final one.

0:19:530:19:55

And it's also a phrase.

0:19:550:19:56

CAN RATTLES

0:19:590:20:00

-Daniel, what is it?

-Eye on the ball.

0:20:000:20:03

Correct. The correct answer is eye on the ball.

0:20:030:20:06

You get three samojis for that.

0:20:060:20:08

Yay!

0:20:080:20:10

Guys, we have a tie-break situation.

0:20:100:20:13

Axelle and Arwen are tied.

0:20:130:20:15

So it is time for the very final deal breaker,

0:20:160:20:20

Say What You See Moji.

0:20:200:20:22

Only Axelle and Arwen can buzz in here.

0:20:220:20:24

Now, here we go, final one.

0:20:260:20:28

I'll give you a clue. It's a sci-fi show.

0:20:320:20:34

CAN RATTLES

0:20:380:20:39

Arwen, what is it?

0:20:390:20:40

Doctor Who.

0:20:400:20:41

Yes! That is correct!

0:20:410:20:42

Yay!

0:20:420:20:44

Congratulations, Arwen, that was so tense. Tense, but amazing.

0:20:440:20:49

Congratulations, Arwen.

0:20:490:20:50

Yay-aaaaa!

0:20:500:20:53

Arwen, an exclusive Remotely Funny hoodie is on its way

0:20:530:20:56

to your wardrobe.

0:20:560:20:57

Daniel and Axelle, you'll be getting a couple of sweet

0:20:570:21:01

Remotely Funny souvenirs, so you don't forget us.

0:21:010:21:04

Get your families back in the room!

0:21:040:21:06

Big, big, big, thanks to you,

0:21:070:21:08

Arwen, Daniel and Axelle,

0:21:080:21:10

and your families for letting us

0:21:100:21:12

turn your houses upside down

0:21:120:21:13

so one of you could get a new hoodie.

0:21:130:21:15

You've been immense, it's been remote,

0:21:150:21:17

and we've all been pretty funny.

0:21:170:21:19

Play the music! Aloha.

0:21:190:21:21

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