Finland Remotely Funny

Welcome to Remotely Funny!

Hey, everyone. I'm Saara and this is Remotely Funny!

The show that has the power to go anywhere in the UK.

I'm coming in wirelessly,

hijacking your home and then offering you prizes.

You can play if you're in PJs.

You can play if you're grounded.

And you can definitely play if you're home-schooled

and your mum gave you detention.

Today, I'm in Finland!

So for once, I'm at home.

And if this show's going to work,

I need our contestants in their homes too.

So, where are my contestants?

First up, it's Leonie!

Hello, Leonie.

Hello.

12-year-old Leonie,

or Leonie Macaroni to her friends,

is from Devon.

Leonie likes singing, dancing,

doing the splits,

but hates asparagus.

Leonie's always practising crazy hairstyles on her friends.

Who's with you today?

I've got my mum, Ally, and my dad, Mark.

I like your dog. Tell me about your dog.

She's a Jack Russell

and she's four years old and she's really energetic.

Oh, yeah, she's very cute, too.

So, what goes down in your crib?

Tell me about your family.

My mum likes to sing to embarrass me

and my dad converts vans.

So, Leonie's mum,

tell me an interesting fact about Leonie.

Oh, well,

her first word was muppet

and it did take us a long time to work out what she was on about,

probably a couple of years until we realised it was a word she'd made up

for the carpet and the mat put together.

Oh, wow. I like that.

That's creative, Leonie.

Next up, let's meet Hope.

Leonie and Ally, say hello to Hope and her fan club.

Hi!

Hope is 11 years old and from County Durham.

She loves playing the drums,

but dislikes slimy mushrooms.

She is football mad

and plays centre back for her local team.

So, Hope, who are you with?

I'm with my mum and my dad.

You're all big Sunderland Football Club fans.

Can you teach me a football chant?

Yeah.

# Kone, Kone, Kone, Kone

# Kone, Kone. #

So...

# Ole, ole, ole, ole

# Kone, ole. #

Something like that, maybe?

Yeah. Sort of.

You also play the drums.

Can you improvise and give me a beat?

Yeah.

Great.

Oh, I like that!

It's like you're in a marching band.

-But I am.

-Oh, interesting.

Well, you're very good at it.

Finally, connecting to Molly.

Hello, Molly. Everyone say hello to Molly.

ALL: Hi, Molly!

Molly is ten years old and from Aberdeen.

She loves lemurs,

Scottish country dancing

and the word onomatopoeia.

Molly has a collection of onesies

and when she grows up, she wants to be a primary school teacher.

Who are you with today?

My two younger brothers, Murdo and Dougal,

my mum and my dad.

Molly's dad, were you worried

that your kids would forget that they're Scottish?

Great names.

THEY LAUGH

Now, Molly and family,

embrace my native language and repeat after me.

SHE SPEAKS FINNISH

THEY TRY TO REPEAT FINNISH

SAARA LAUGHS

Close enough, close enough.

I like that.

So that was a useful phrase, which means,

"Quick, the aliens have landed.

"Everyone run!"

THEY LAUGH

Very useful.

OK, family members, out you go!

I only need my contestants.

Families out!

Bye.

Hope, Leonie and Molly,

are we alone?

ALL: Yes.

You'll need the help of your families later,

but for now, it's just us.

And what are you tearing your house apart for today?

The chance to hold your head high as Remotely Funny champion!

But that's not all.

Visualise yourself in one of these Remotely Funny hoodies.

This is Bedroom Bonanza.

I name something, you collect it.

Item number one...

go get me something you treasure.

Go! Go get me something very important to you.

Something you treasure by your heart and soul and mind.

Something creative, something important.

And Hope is back first.

Leonie's a good number two and Molly is back last.

Molly, what did you bring me?

I've brung my toy lemur.

Leonie, what did you bring me?

I've brung you a medal from when...

From Germany when I went skiing.

You went skiing in Germany?

-Yes.

-Look at you, international player!

I like that.

Hope, what did you bring me?

I've brung you one of the Sunderland mascots

and I got it from when I was young, on one of my first football matches

that I went to see Sunderland play.

Oh, so you really are very passionate about football.

-Yes.

-I love passionate.

Hope, you were back first.

You get three samojis.

Yay!

And, Leonie, because I'm from Finland

and we Finnish people love skiing,

I'll give you one extra samoji.

Yay!

It is time for item number two.

I want something

you would not take to school.

I want something you wouldn't take to school.

Oh, and Leonie is back first.

And Hope. And Molly is back.

Now, Leonie, what do you have?

I have a unicorn.

Why would you not take a unicorn to school?

Because it wouldn't fit in my bag

and I don't want it getting lost.

Now, Hope, what do you have?

I have this, like, golden elephant.

Why would you not bring a golden elephant to school?

Because it's very precious and it's one of my favourite belongings.

Molly, what do you have there?

I have a cuddly toy

that my mum had when she was little.

Leonie, you were back first, so you get three samojis.

Yay!

But, Molly, because I LOVE vintage pieces,

you will get one samoji.

Yay!

Wonderful. Item number three -

get me something pointless

from your mum's, dad's, brother's or sister's room.

Go, go, go!

Who's going to be back first?

Come on, come on, come on.

I don't have all day to wait.

Oh, and Molly was back first,

and Hope and Leonie.

Leonie, what do you have?

I have fox earrings.

Hope, what do you have?

I have some lip balm that my brother never used,

but he keeps in his room.

Why would he do that?

Exactly!

Molly, what do you have?

I have my brother's slug.

Does the slug have a name?

No, it's just called Slug.

Oh, wonderful.

Molly, you were back first this time around,

so you get three samojis.

Yay!

Let's see who's off the samoji start line.

-Hope has three.

-Yay!

But Molly and Leonie

are tied in the lead with four.

-Yes.

-Yay!

Let's hit the kitchen for Food Flash.

Everyone, to the kitchen!

Now, Hope, give me a house tour.

We're passing down here

and then we are into the kitchen.

Today, we're in Finland,

home of the cabbage roll.

So, for this game, I'm going to show you a Food Flash picture

of one of my favourite Finnish dishes

and you have 45 seconds to recreate the dish.

Samojis for the player who makes their dish

look as close to the picture as possible.

And my favourite thing about Finland is the Finnish gravy.

It's called ruskeakastike.

I want everyone to hold up the Finnish gravy and say,

"I love ruskeakastike!"

ALL: I love ruskeakastike.

Beautiful. My national pride is overpouring.

Today's dish is called...

SHE SPEAKS FINNISH

For today's dish,

contestants will be battering Battenberg

beyond all recognition by prodding three ice cream cones

into its topside.

One is stuffed with chocolate fingers,

the second filled with cheese balls

and the third and final cone is occupied by spaghetti rings,

topped, of course, with the customary drizzle of gravy.

Start cooking!

I need a Battenberg right now!

Come on, Molly, where's your team?

Stop scratching your head!

Thank you.

Hurry, Mum, hurry up!

Right, I need some of them weird things.

-Beans. I need beans.

-MUM:

-Beans, where's the beans?

I need, like, loads of them, and then...

OK, right, let's get this going.

Hope, tell me what you're doing.

I'm cooking this dish

and it is going to be the best dish ever.

I need some cheesy balls and put them in here.

OK, I need these.

Good!

Right, and I need...

Next one, cheese puffs.

Do not forget the gravy.

Good job, Leonie. I see you're pouring that gravy on it.

Lovely.

Stop cooking!

Put everything down.

It is time to take a look at your "Finnished" dishes.

Molly, can you show me your dish?

Yeah.

Great, let me see what you've made.

Hope, can I see your dish?

Hmm, beautiful.

Now, tell me something about this dish.

It's made with love and kindness.

That's beautiful.

Leonie, can I see your dish?

Oh...

Leonie,

yours looked the most like the original dish,

so Leonie gets three samojis.

Yay!

But, Hope, your beautiful words moved me,

so you get one extra samoji.

Yay!

Parents, it is time to put this to the taste test.

Extra samojis for the parents who try it.

Come on, dig in, dig in.

Let me see. Molly's dad...

Oh, yes.

Hope's dad, how do you like it?

Leonie's mum, tell me what it tastes like.

Mm, it's really lovely.

Everyone tried it out, so everyone gets a round of extra samojis.

ALL: Yay!

Hope, earlier,

we asked your dad what he does

that embarrasses you the most.

If you get this right, I'll give you an extra samoji.

-What do you think it is?

-Oh...

when he farts in public, he blames me.

-Oh, man...

-Yes!

Yes, Hope, that is the correct answer.

Hope's dad, that's not a nice thing to do to someone.

Explain yourself.

I actually find it very amusing, whether it's nice or not.

And it works every time.

Let's not talk about farts and let's move on to the score round-up.

Molly has five,

Hope moves on to six

and Leonie takes the lead with eight.

Yay!

It's time for Toilet Takedown.

Everyone, to the toilets!

Come on, come on, come on.

This is a guessing game

and the closest answer wins.

I want you to write your answers on the loo roll.

And here comes the question.

Us humans are known for the odd bottom burp,

but how many times a day does the average person drop a stinker?

You need to be quick, so if you've got the right answers,

don't clench, just let it slip out.

FARTING

Pens down.

Come to the screen and hold up your answers at the same time.

Let's see what you have. Hope,

what does your toilet paper say?

Leonie, what about you?

And, Molly?

The correct answer is 14.

Molly, you get three samojis.

Yay!

OK, half-time,

but you can do this.

Mop your brow, compose yourself in the mirror

and look at this LooTube.

FOGHORN BLOWS

Now, stop.

For an extra samoji, what do you think happens next?

First one to flush the loo gets to answer.

Hope was first. What do you think happens next?

The man at the back, who was walking, falls over.

No, that's not the correct answer, Hope.

Let's have a look at the clip and see what happens.

Whoa! So, the correct answer was that a giant wave was made,

and it washed out that one dude in the corner.

-Hey, Molly, come here.

-Yeah?

OK.

I asked your dad to tell me

who spends the most time singing in the shower,

so, for one extra samoji, who do you think he said?

Me.

Yes!

Yes, Molly, that's the correct answer.

He says that you spend the most time singing in the shower.

You get one extra samoji.

Yay!

Toilet Takedown over.

-Hope stays on six.

-Yay!

-Leonie has eight.

-Yay!

-And Molly is just in front with nine.

-Yay!

You know when people say, "It could be worse"?

You're about to see what they're talking about.

It's time to play Remotely Funny Families.

Onto the living room!

Come on, come on, come on.

Leonie, Hope, Molly and parents,

it's about to get very awkward.

But first, Leonie, it's a chance to add a bonus samoji to your score.

Tell me, who has the most annoying habit in your house?

I'll give you a slice of samoji pie if you get it correct.

Um...

Probably my dad.

For what?

Because he snores all the time.

Yes! Yes, Leonie, that's the correct answer.

You get an extra samoji for your dad's snoring.

It's time for your parents to sing for your success.

Contenders, now, find something your parents can use as a microphone.

But not a real microphone -

we don't want to amplify what's about to happen here.

Hope, what did you find for a microphone?

A drumstick.

OK, I see, keeping it music-based, I like that.

Leonie, what about you?

A glasses case.

I like that.

Now, Molly, what's your microphone?

A shoe.

That's a first, we have definitely not had that before.

Parents, I'm going to play each of you a song

and when the music stops,

you need to finish the lyrics.

If you don't know the lyrics, you can make them up.

I'll also be awarding samojis for your performance.

-Leonie's mum.

-Yes?

You're first. Play the song.

# This ain't real

# This ain't cool

# This ain't what I signed up to

# This ain't right

# It's no good

# No good, oh. # One, two, three, four.

HORN BLOWS

# Everything is changing

# I've been here for so long

# We go for the wrong thing

# Oh, no, no

# I don't know the words

# O-oh

# I can't do this on my own

-# Everything is changing... #

-That's amazing!

Wow, she does not want to stop.

But, Leonie's mum, there's no changing these lyrics.

# Everything is changing

# And I've been here for too long

# Going through the same things. #

SHE LAUGHS

Now, Hope's dad, your turn.

Hit the music.

# Well, life will pass me by

# If I don't open up my eyes

# Well, that's fine by me. #

Here we go! HORN BLOWS

# So take me up where... blue skies yonder

# When I'm older, when I wander

# I don't really know any more

# So give me a shout and I can stop. #

SHE LAUGHS

Stop!

Well, it's closer on tune than the lyrics.

Here's the real words.

# So wake me up when it's all over

# When I'm wiser and I'm older. #

And finally, no pressure, Molly's dad, Mark.

Go track!

# And he's long gone

# When he's next to me

# And I realise

# The blame is on me. # All right, this is your spot.

One, two, three, four! HORN BLOWS

# Don't know the words to the song Really don't know

# Molly doesn't know either

# Nobody can help

# We'll just keep

# Singing and dancing in the living room

# How are you doing, Molly?

-# Are you embarrassed yet? #

-Really!

# What about you? #

Mark, you're a big cycling fan, aren't you?

You know what you should get on?

On your bike and get out of here.

THEY LAUGH

Let's move on Swift-ly to the proper lyrics.

# I knew you were trouble when you walked in

# So shame on me now

# Blew me to places I'd never been

# Till you put me down... # Hope's dad,

you get one samoji for style.

Yes!

Molly's dad, you get one samoji for cringe.

Yes!

Yes!

And, Leonie, your mum gets three samojis

for overall best performance.

Woohoo!

Legally, we're not allowed to call these highlights.

So, here are some clips.

Let's loop.

# Everything is

# Yonder

# Nobody can

# Wander

# O-oh

# Singing and dancing in the living room

# O-oh

# How are you doing, Molly? Are you...

# I've been here for so long

# Give me a shout and I can stop. #

Stop!

Well, let's go to samojis.

-Hope has seven.

-Yay!

-Molly moves onto ten.

-Yay!

And Leonie sneaks ahead with 12.

-Yay!

-Woo!

Despite their parents' best attempts to scupper them,

Leone is in the lead.

But that could all change now in the final game.

Parents, go.

As for you, my little contenders,

I know we've become firm friends,

but it's time to get mean.

This is the final and your last chance to win!

Go and get a buzzer.

Get ahold of anything that makes a big noise,

because I've got mine.

Everyone test your buzzers at the same time.

One, two, three.

This game is called

Say What You See-mojis.

Look at my samojis and tell me what they're meant to represent.

First person to buzz in and answer correctly

wins the samojis.

First Say What You See-moji.

What is this?

Molly, what is it?

Banana milkshake.

Yes! That's the correct answer, Molly, it's a banana milkshake.

You get three samojis.

Yes!

Next one.

Hint, it's a sporting event.

Hope?

World Cup.

Yes! Hope, that's correct, you get three samojis.

-It's the World Cup.

-Yes!

Final question, and finally, it's a superhero.

Leonie, you came in first.

What's the answer?

Batman.

Yes, Leonie, you get three samojis for that.

The right answer was Batman.

Game over.

OK, the scores are in

and I can reveal that today's Remotely Funny winner is...

Leonie!

Yay!

Yay!

Leonie, you will look like a real winner

in this Remotely Funny hoodie.

But fear not, Molly and Hope,

we'll be sending you some exclusive

Remotely Funny souvenirs.

Now, get your families back in the room!

Family, come on.

Big thanks to you, Leonie, Hope, Molly and your families

for letting Remotely Funny run amok round your epic homes.

You've been immense,

it's been remote and we've all been pretty funny.

Play the music!

# Oh yeah!

# Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo

# Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo

# Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo

# Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo... #

Bye! ALL: Bye! # Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo

# Na na na na na na na

# Na na na

# Woo woo

# Ohhh yeah! #