Episode 8 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ah. That is awkward.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's OK. I didn't want the door open more than that, anyway.

Hello! I'm Richard. Welcome to my Blast Lab.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, my protective lab coat.

Actually, don't be put off by the name "Blast Lab".

It is perfectly safe. There's only one thing

more important than your safety and that's my safety.

In a moment, I shall bring in two teams to play some games

and win some prizes, all in the name of science.

Let's see what's in store.

Usually, this lab is kept secure

by a group of the toughest SAS men in the country.

But they've all entered a cake-baking competition,

so they can't be here.

However, my nan got barred last year when she controversially came second

and took out the mayor with a scissor kick.

Instead, she's here defending the lab. It is my Ninja Nan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Some moves. Why does the door always work for you? Anyway, Ninja Nan,

thanks for standing in. It's great to have you here.

She may look fragile but she is in fact a fully-trained ninja.

SMACK! WHACK! THWACK!

Nan, if you take your place in security, please.

Take your place in security. Thank you. Hearing's not brilliant.

She is quick though.

So fast she went out for a jog this morning and set off a speed camera.

Maybe she doesn't want any more points on her licence.

That's why she's taking it easy in here. Nan, have you settled in?

She's there with her trolley.

See the ninja way she parks that trolley. It's terrifying.

Has she got her sandwiches again?

Oh no, knitting! Yeah, she's been knitting herself

a pair of ninja mittens so she can fight in the winter.

Let's have a look at who's trying to get in my lab today.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, you see, you say you're the Yellow Team.

We can't let just anybody in here. My top-secret lab.

We have to make sure, so I have my security files.

Identify yourselves please by name.

Brittany! Anne-Marie! Harriet!

Good Lord. OK, those are your names. Well, that checks out with the form.

It says here there's a hidden talent.

Anne-Marie, what can you do to prove that your who you say you are?

I can speed talk, like, talk really fast.

SHE TALKS VERY QUICKLY

Enough, enough! I believe you.

That is speed talking. You are the Yellow Team.

You are through security. Come on into the lab.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, team. You're through security,

you are the Yellow Team. Where are you from?

ALL: We're from London and we're the Pink Panthers!

You've come up with your own name!

But you're the Yellow Team for today.

Let's find out who's claiming to be the Red Team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

These three say they are the Red Team.

Identify yourselves by names, so I can check you out. You are?

Oscar! Theodore! Ambrose!

Well, that does check out. That's who it's got down here.

-What is your hidden talent?

-Diablo.

So, this is Ambrose. It's a spinning thing on a stick.

That's amazing, actually.

OK, well, that does check out with your hidden talent on my form.

Good grief. Right, you are the Red Team.

You can come on through security, past Ninja Nan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Nice to see you, Red Team. Where are you from?

We're from Devon and we are the Lords of Science!

Nope, you're the Red Team but welcome to the laboratory.

It's time for both teams to get into position

ready for the first game.

You know where to go. Over there, please. Get set up and ready.

I'd like to introduce a friend who's been driving me up the wall,

which is only because I fitted him

with some special wall-climbing tyres. It is Oliver.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oliver loves to collect facts to store in his hi-tech,

sophisticated Fact Nav system.

The problem is, they're not always correct.

I am going to read both teams a science fact and they have

to tell me whether it is true or false.

If it's true, Oliver will let us know by doing this.

HORN BEEPS

And if it's false, Oliver will do this.

FOG HORN BLASTS

We understand the rules here, do we?

Red Team, you're going first.

Here is your science fact from Oliver's Fact Nav.

Gold is found in sea water?

Is that true or is that false? Don't answer straight away.

You can have a chat and a think. Sort it out between you.

They're having a big talk. Audience, what do we think?

Gold is found in sea water, true or false?

MOST SHOUT: False!

False, false... Nearly everybody false.

One little girl there saying... You think it's true?

The audience is almost unanimous saying it's false.

But you don't have to go with them. Have your own thoughts about this.

-What do you think?

-We think it's true.

True? Going against the entire audience

apart from this little girl,

who wants sea water, cos it will be full of gold.

Oliver, tell us, is it true or is it false?

HORN BEEPS

CHEERING

So, that's a point for you. In actual fact, although it's there,

no effective process has ever been designed

to extract the gold from the oceans.

Which is a shame. Because if it were all mined, every person here

would get 20 kilograms of gold.

Sadly, we can't get it in. Never mind. Right, Yellows,

you've seen how it's done. It's your turn.

Here is your science fact.

Is this true or false?

The first hot air balloon passengers were a dog, a cat and a mouse.

Is that true or is that false?

Have a chat and work it out.

Don't know about you, sounds like a bad cartoon to me.

A dog, a cat and a mouse in a hot air balloon.

Audience, what do we think? Is it true or is it false?

SHOUTING IN RESPONSE

A lot of falses here. A couple of trues down here.

You think it's true.

You think they were a dog, cat and a mouse. Yellow Team,

the most important people here, for their opinion. What do you think?

-We think it's false.

-False?

The first hot air balloon passengers weren't a dog, a cat and a mouse.

Oliver, is it true or is it false?

FOG HORN BLASTS

Well done! That's a point for you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Do you know what they were?

-No.

They were actually a sheep, duck and a cockerel. They were!

In 1783. The flight lasted eight minutes

and they were the first balloon passengers.

Right, here is your final question. This one works a bit differently.

I don't want you to tell me true or false.

I want you to answer it, write down your answer

on that board, then we'll hold them up and look.

I should say, it might be quite difficult.

So, I'm going to be nice.

I don't expect you to get the exact answer. There will be a point

for the team who gets closest to the exact answer.

Understand the rules? For both teams then -

How many text messages are sent in the UK every day?

Not just by each of you but by the whole UK.

Have a think. Anybody in the audience got an idea?

Don't shout it out, I'll talk to you with my...

I designed this myself. Looks like a mug tree.

It's got a hidden microphone in it.

Any ideas? How many text messages sent in the UK?

-Are they all sent by you?

-No. 500 million.

500 million! That's lots.

-Somebody down there, come forward.

-6 million.

-What?

-6 million.

Are you basing that on scientific evidence

-or is it a big guess?

-It's a big guess.

Does anybody happen to actually know that fact?

What about here? My gold-in-sea-water friend.

You really wanted gold to be in the sea water.

I think, erm...

7 million and a half.

OK. Has anybody got any other answers? Anybody disagree wildly?

-What you think, Oliver?

-28,000.

28,000? That's a lot less.

We're getting a range of answers from the audience.

A range of answers. Let's see if both teams are ready, then.

Reds, have you written down an answer?

Yellows, I'll have to hurry you. You have some time.

You've got a bit less time. A lot less time now. No time now.

Let's have a look at your answers. Red and Yellow.

Reds are saying 3 million.

Yellows are saying 25 million.

The actual answer...

Around 207 million every day.

That means the Yellows get an extra point.

So that is another point to the Yellows.

Yellows are in the lead. Well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's all to come. Right now, it's time for Mini Science,

the round where our contestants use ordinary, everyday objects

to solve extraordinary science problems.

I made a time machine out of household objects

and used it to bring back my old science teacher.

But it went about wrong.

She came back as a 10-year-old.

I've always looked up to her, but now,

even I have to look down to her.

It is Mini Miss!

-Hello, Miss.

-Hello, Richard.

So, what are we doing today?

-Well, today's teams are going to be playing leaf-blower catch.

-Right.

It's basically a game of catch but one team member operates

the adjustable leaf-blower.

Another has a pile of beach balls to throw

into the vertical airstream from the blower.

and the third stands on a platform above the blower.

The one on the raised platform has to catch the beach balls in a giant net.

OK, so we're going to need catchers to do this.

-Who are the catchers?

-Me.

-Woo!

OK. It's Britney and Theodore? Go out through that door there,

make your way round to the gantry and take your positions.

Away you go. Don't get lost back there in the Blast Lab.

This is about air pressure, isn't it?

That's correct, Richard. Well remembered.

-Thank you.

-Now, everybody, ear defenders on.

Right, OK, will do.

That includes you, Oliver.

HORN TOOTS

-So, are we ready for this?

-Pardon?

-Are we ready?

-Pardon?

-SHOUTS:

-Are we ready for this? Are we ready for this, Miss?

-Yes.

-Pardon?

-SHOUTS: Yes, Richard!

Right, OK. Catchers, are you ready? Catchers, are you...?

Oh. We didn't think of this. Lab rats, are they ready?

-SHOUTS:

-Lab rats! Can I have that?

Why did you even bring this?

Lab rat...

Are they ready? Good, right.

There's another point at stake for the winning team.

Yellows in the lead. Reds could catch up and equalise.

OK, you have some time, if you can hear me,

to catch as many balls as you can. Can you hear me? Good.

Well, your time starts now.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Special microphone. That's better!

These leaf-blowers create a column of fast-moving air.

The thing is, if they get this right, that column is where the ball

wants to be because that column is an area of low pressure.

That is where things like to stay.

So the beach balls will stay

eventually in the column of fast moving air.

That means they'll move up to the basket, they can be controlled.

Spheres are best for this as they have no edges,

so air can flow easily around them. This effect was first noticed

by a clever scientist called Bernoulli.

So it's known as The Bernoulli Principle.

You can see it in action.

I bet Mr Bernoulli never had this much fun with a leaf blower

and a shed load of beach balls.

The teams need to be quick because you never know

when "some time" might run out.

The Reds have taken a slight lead, but don't write off the Yellows.

END-OF-ROUND SIREN WAILS

Sorry, that last one can't go in.

Can I hand that back to my assistant?

OK, everybody, ear-defenders off.

-SHOUTS:

-I said, ear-defenders...! We didn't think of this.

Ear-defenders off! Right, thank you. It's time to see which team...

I'm still shouting!

Which team has bagged the most balls.

Thank you, Miss. Thank you. I don't need to shout to you...

Right, it's time to see which team has bagged the most balls.

The Yellow Team - how many do we have here?

10, 16! Are you sure, Lab Rat?

16 for Yellow. For Reds, this could be your equaliser

if you get this point. If not, it puts the Yellows further ahead.

How many for the Reds?

10...20. Whoa!

That's an equalising point for the Reds!

Two all.

That experiment made me realise how strong air can be

and it's given me a brilliant idea.

Maybe you could use air instead of petrol to power cars.

Today, at our top-secret Lab Rat test zone,

we're going to see if we can power a car by a wind alone.

Unfortunately for this Lab Rat,

the only car available for this experiment is his pride and joy.

A 1992 Ford Fiesta.

He absolutely loves that car.

Not sure why, because it doesn't work.

So, we're going to make a few, how should I put this, modifications.

Now, I wouldn't do this to your dad's car,

but it's only a Lab Rat. He won't mind.

MUSIC: "Club Foot" by Kasabian

With the roof off, we need an expert.

Hello, I'm a kite surfing expert.

Our expert sets to work

attaching his high-performance kite to the car.

A large kite this size can speed a kite-board to over 40 mph.

But a kite-board is lighter and highly manoeuvrable.

Can a kite pull a one-tonne car?

A kite works because things like to move into areas of low pressure.

The theory goes that when air flows past a kite,

it produces low pressure above the kite

and high pressure below it.

The high pressure pushes the kite

towards low pressure, lifting it up.

The power of the wind also pushes the kite forwards.

So, by putting the kite at the correct angle,

our Lab Rats should be able to make it pull them and their car along.

This is now a grudge match,

as that Lab Rat has found a child's bike from somewhere,

and wants revenge in the form of a race against the wind-powered car.

It's a battle of the eco-energies, as wind power takes on man's muscle.

HE HONKS HORN

OK, let's check if you were paying attention there.

Red Team, for an extra point, which you think is going to win the race?

The bike or the wind-powered car?

Have a think about it. Yellow Team, same question to you.

There is an extra point at stake here, which is needed right now.

Which is going to win?

Bike or wind-powered car?

OK, I want an answer from you.

-Have you made up your answers? Made up your minds?

-We say bike.

-Why?

-Because the car is too heavy to be pulled by the wind.

And you need a lot of wind.

But the bike is being powered by a Lab Rat. They're a bit stupid.

Yeah, but at least he knows how to ride a bike.

You reckon a Lab Rat stands a better chance than...

OK, fine. Yellows?

-The car.

-You think the car's going to win? So, bike, car.

-Why?

-Because we think it was going to be the bike,

but the car is, like...

You wouldn't have shown it us if you didn't have a reason.

Ah, so now we're introducing us into the science.

We are Blast Lab. We've no idea.

So, you think the car. You think the bike. Audience, what do we reckon?

What do we reckon? Car or bike?

-Car or bike? What do you think down there?

-Bike.

Bike. What do we think down here?

-Bike.

-Bike.

-Car.

Car. So, you disagree. Why do you think the bike?

Because the car is too heavy.

Well, cars don't generally have sails, do they?

There must be a reason. What do you think?

I think the car will definitely win.

Because the wind can get very strong for the car.

If you're sitting on a skateboard or something

and then a kite, it will get you over 60,

so imagine what it would do to a car.

Well, people do that, don't they? With the kite and the skateboard.

He has a point. One more answer.

I think bike because there's no way that a kite can pull a car.

There is a lot of weight in the car.

Well, there's only one way to find out and that is to watch it.

Let's have a look.

The kite-car is moving, but it's slow off the mark

and the bike has sped into the lead.

With the wind behind them, the car is gaining ground.

They are neck and neck at the halfway point

and our Lab Rat can't keep up the pace.

The kite-car is breezing to victory.

ALL: Woo hoo! Yeah!

There you go. I'm sorry, Reds.

Yellows, an extra point to you.

Yellow Team, well done. Reds, I'm sorry.

You're back to losing. You backed a Lab Rat, what did you expect?

Time to move on. That means both teams must now leave.

You've got to get changed for the Messy Messy Mess Test.

You need your protective suits on.

While they're doing that,

I'd just like to watch a bit of that tape again.

I want to see the bit where the Lab Rat's on a bicycle.

This bit. Look at him!

Look at that. Pathetic spectacle.

It's pitiful. He let Blast Lab down,

he let the Red Team down, as it turned out.

I can't believe he let us all down badly.

I've concocted the perfect punishment.

I've got him powering the whole lab by bicycle power.

Pedal faster, please...

Faster.

Put your back into it, Lab Rat. Thank you.

While he's busy doing that, it's time for us to move on

to the Messy Messy Mess Test.

Which today is in the nuclear box,

and that is why you guys need protective suits.

Be careful in there. Interesting thing, I was eating a sandwich

last night and I dropped a prawn.

I couldn't find it... Yeah, I have.

Yeah, it's grown.

That does happen.

When I say I dropped one,

I kind of dropped the whole sandwich in,

so don't touch anything.

Not sure if they bite.

Probably do. This is the game.

Each pod contains fabulous prizes like night-vision goggles,

a football-playing robot and a Blood, Bones And Body Bits Kit.

The idea is to move these pods from this end of the box.

Obviously you can't use your hands because they'd melt.

That's why you've got these tongs.

Pass them one to another. If you drop them it's out of play.

Get it to the end and drop them in the basket.

The team to move the most prizes across the nuclear box

gets to take them home.

The losing team has to blow theirs up.

Yellow Team, you start first

because you have the most points, giving a five-second advantage.

When you hear the first nuclear alert you can start.

Red Team, you can only begin when we hear the second nuclear alert.

You've got some time to get as many of these pods across the box

and into the basket as possible.

If you drop a pod, remember it is out of play.

Pick up another one and start again.

We will be watching, trust me. Hang on. I know what that is.

Lab Rat, pedal, pedal! Thank you.

Keep pedalling for the rest of this.

Yellow Team, your time starts now.

'Off we go in search of the gungy prize pods.

'There's the second siren, so the Reds are up and running.

'The Yellows are struggling with the changeover,

'but the Reds bag their first pod.

'Yellows still making hard work of the first changeover.

'Oh, that's bad news.'

I don't like to see anything coming out of the nuclear box

because sometimes late at night

it's not prize pods,

but other things that come out.

'The Yellows still haven't got the hang of this.

'Oh, no, Harriet's hat's fallen off.

'While that's going on, the Reds are getting another.'

Red Team are doing very well indeed.

Yellow Team struggling with this.

It is very difficult. I hope they're not tempted to use their hands

because then there will be no hands. Messy.

'The Reds looking like nuclear robots out there,

'dunking pretty much every prize pod in the basket.

'Look at that, the Yellow prize pods have floated over

'to the Red side of the tank.

'The Reds have nearly bagged all the prize pods.

'They're going to clear us out at this rate.

'How long's left? Who knows with my confusing "some time" clock?

'The Yellow Team had a five-second head-start

'but they look to have blown it.'

END-OF-ROUND SIREN

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That is it. Your time is up.

It's time for us to find out which one of you has won.

I think it's fairly obvious.

I won't count there myself because if I touch them my hands melt.

They've got special nuclear-proof paws. How many?

One. Well done. That's as far as this Lab Rat can count.

Lab Rat, how many in there? I know it's a strain, work it out.

Eight points for the Red Team! They are the winners!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, Red Team, let's take a look at what you've won.

For that I need the help of my specially-trained Ninja Nan.

These are the prizes. Let's see what you've got.

Lab Rat is taking the prizes out.

You've each got a pair of night-vision goggles.

You've each got an atomic telescope!

A football robot each. Well done, well done.

Ninja Nan, if you'd like to model the football robot.

If you can find the football robot...

You each got a Bop It game.

Basically a lot of prizes.

A Blast Lab goodie bag, you all get those.

Basically you've cleaned us out, Red Team. Congratulations, Red Team!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yellow Team, this is the difficult bit.

Now we find out what you would have won.

You would each have taken home an atomic telescope.

You're not because instead you're going to blow it up.

It's now time for Bidet Goes Bang!

-Yellow Team, how are you feeling?

-Great(!)

This is rather rubbing it in because the Red Team's prizes

are here in a huge pile and you're here without any.

You have got some but they're in the bidet waiting to be exploded.

-Who's going to push the plunger?

-All of us.

-All together?

-Yep.

The way of it, team, then you can't blame anybody afterwards.

What went wrong?

I couldn't get a grip when Anne-Marie gave it to me. I couldn't get it.

It is very difficult.

It's some consolation because when I created this next invention,

it was a real pain in the bum, quite literally, because it is

my exploding bidet. There is no putting this off.

Your prizes are already in position. It's time to do it.

Lift the plunger, please.

Don't push it down, lift it up.

Wait. Let's count you down.

ALL: Five, four, three, two, one.

EXPLOSION

It's done, it's done. We've seen how by using the Bernoulli principal,

you can make a beach ball fly and a car sail.

We've learned a lot about Bernoulli's wind.

Who sniggered? See you next time.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Keep pedalling! Keep pedalling!

Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience.

No Lab Rat was harmed during the filming.

Well, there was a minor injury but he's OK now...I think.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]