Episode 9 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

Hold on! A-ha! Yeah, try that.

Yeah.

Thank goodness I had my safety goggles with me.

They ward off all danger. And that's why we always wear them in here.

Hello, I'm Richard Hammond. Welcome to Blast Lab.

This is where I do all my top secret science,

experimenting with incredible machines that transport matter

through time and space. And with mutant monsters

that turn out to be able to escape from their cages.

Today, I'm going to be putting two teams through their paces,

to discover which group has the best scientific minds.

Let's see what's in store.

If you're going to do top-secret experiments

in your lab, you can't have just anyone wandering in.

That's why I have the best security available to protect this place -

the SAS. Unfortunately, a lot of their mums have birthdays around

now. So, they've all gone shopping together, for presents,

instead of coming to work.

Luckily for me, my Nan is a one-woman fighting machine.

It is Ninja Nan.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Didn't you see the huge monster? The huge teeth, the wings, the pincers?

No? OK, I don't want to know what happened.

But, thanks for standing in. I know, she may look fragile.

But she is actually a trained ninja.

See? Take your place in security now, please, Nan. Nan!

Nan! If you'd like to take your place in security.

Thank you very much, indeed.

There she goes.

Look at that, look at the speed.

She is so fast she has to slow down to catch blue bottles.

OK, Nan is settled in.

It's time now to meet the people who are trying to get into my lab today.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Don't clap yet, they could be anybody!

We've got to be certain, before we let them through security.

You say you're the Yellow Team?

Identify yourselves by names, please.

-Daryl!

-Tom!

-MJ!

-Daryl, Tom, MJ. Yup, that checks out.

Now, I'm going to ask you to perform a hidden talent,

so we can be sure you're the right people to let in.

Tom, it says here, you can do kick boxing. Don't move a muscle!

Don't move. Right now, you're in incredible danger.

Because Ninja Nan is there, poised behind you.

If you even think about kick boxing, it'll get messy in there.

Lab rats to security, make Ninja Nan safe. Thank you.

There you go. See, that'll be fine, that'll be fine.

Yes, that'll hold her in.

Oh, double, just to be certain.

Right, Tom, do your stuff. Prove it.

Oh, crikey! Yup, yup.

That's looking like kick boxing to me. Yup.

You are cleared through security. You can come into the lab.

APPLAUSE

Hello, Yellow Team. Welcome to Blast Lab. Where you from?

ALL: We're from Oxfordshire, and we're the Speedy Brains!

No, you're the Yellow Team.

But welcome to Blast Lab. Thanks for coming in. Good luck.

Let's meet the people you're going to be playing against.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hold on, hold on! They say they're the Red Team.

Can't be too sure, can't let just anybody in here.

For security reasons. So, identify yourselves by names, please.

-Harriet!

-Portia!

-Lucy!

-Harriet, Portia, Lucy.

Yup, that's right.

Under hidden talent on the security form, it says, Portia,

you can scream really loud.

-Yeah.

-Well, go on then.

AHHHHHH!

Yup, OK, that, that was really loud!

You are the Red Team. Come through security, past Ninja Nan.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hello, Red Team. Welcome to Blast Lab.

-Where are you lot from?

-ALL: Leicester! We're the Tireless Trio.

You're not! You're the Red Team! But, welcome to Blast Lab.

Thanks for coming. Good luck. It's time for round one.

So, teams, take your positions.

Go and get settled in, Red and Yellow teams.

Right, some cars can do 0 to 60 in two seconds.

Some cars can beat Einstein in a quiz. I have the latter.

He is the cleverest thing on four wheels. It's Oliver.

Oliver spends his time off roaming the globe to collect facts

for his high-tech fact nav.

I built it - so it doesn't always work. Some of the facts are true.

Some of the facts are false.

Fortunately, Oliver knows which is which.

So, I'm going to give each team a science fact.

They're going to tell me if they think it's right or wrong.

If it is true, Oliver will do this.

TOOTING AND HONKING

And, if it's false, Oliver will let us know, like this.

FOG HORN BLASTS

Simple enough. OK, teams, this is it.

Your first chance to earn points in Blast Lab.

OK, Reds, you're going first.

Here is your fact. You have to tell me whether this is true or false.

Sea water is heavier than fresh water.

Is it heavier than fresh water? Have a think. Audience, what do we think?

True!

A few false in there.

-Mostly true. What do we think?

-I think it's true.

OK. True is the team's answer?

Oliver, is it true or false?

TOOTING AND HONKING

It's actually loaded with minerals,

so it weighs 24 kilograms more, per cubic metre, than fresh water.

Well done. That's the first point to you, Reds. OK, Yellows.

This is your chance to equalise.

The red colour of Mars

is created by rust. Is that true or false?

Have a think, have a think.

Audience, what do we think, is that true of false?

-True!

-False!

Look at that, it's split the audience down the middle, I reckon.

Half, half. Have you had enough time to think about that one?

Your first chance to earn points.

Tom, MJ, Daryl. I don't like to make you nervous.

It's your first chance to equalise. What do we think?

-True.

-You think that's true. Oliver, is it true or false?

TOOTING AND HONKING

It's true, well done!

That's the equalising point. They're on one a piece.

The reddy-orange colour of the surface of Mars is

caused by iron oxide, made by the reaction of iron with oxygen.

So it's just like when your car rusts.

Not that Oliver knows about that.

Because he wouldn't do anything like that. No. Right, your last question.

This one is a bit different.

This isn't a true or false question. I'm going to give you

an actual question. You've got to give me an answer.

Write it down on those pads in front of you. It's not that easy.

So, I'm going to give the point

to the team that's nearest to the correct answer.

And here comes the question. How tall was the tallest-ever iceberg?

What I want is the measurement, above the water line.

Let's go for metres, I think.

If you both turn round your boards now, so we can all have a look.

Reds, 75 metres.

Yellows, 1,500 metres.

Quite a range there - quite a difference.

Well, the actual answer is 168 metres tall.

Which means that the Red Team are the winners. Well done, Reds!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

It was the Melville Bay iceberg,

sighted off the coast of Greenland in 1958.

Otherwise you'd have noticed it, I'm sure.

At that height, it's as tall as 112 Ninja Nans, if you were wondering.

And wanted to measure it properly.

So, the points now are two to the Reds, one to the Yellows!

That is all to come. But first, it is mini science -

the round where our teams perform complex scientific experiments,

using simple household objects.

And, for this round, I need to break out the really big science guns.

Well, actually, quite a small one.

But she is the real science deal. It is Mini Miss!

-Hello, Richard.

-Hello. Yes, slight mix up with the time machine.

So, my school science teacher is here in Blast Lab.

She just happens to be... ten years old.

-Yes, thanks for that, Richard.

-Sorry.

So, what are we doing today, Miss?

Well, today's teams are going to be launching their very own rockets,

using straws, bottles and a foot pump.

They have six bottles to choose from.

Oh. So they all choose from these bottles. Once they've chosen

a bottle, how do they turn that into a rocket?

First, they have to attach it to their launch wire,

using a straw and some Velcro.

Then, once it's attached, they have to pump air

into the bottle, using a foot pump.

Eventually, the air should become so much inside the bottle,

that it forces the pump out.

-Oh, so, it turns into a rocket at that point.

-Yes.

-That's clever.

-Teams take it in turns to choose

and launch their rockets.

The team with the most points wins the game.

Fair enough. Red Team, you are in the lead at the moment,

so you get to go first in this. Launching a bottle rocket isn't that

easy. It's rocket science, after all. Mini Miss is going to take

you over to the launch pad and talk you through the process.

So if you'd all like to go over there with Mini Miss.

She's going to explain how to launch your bottle rockets.

See, the thing is, with these bottle rockets,

yes, we're using air pressure, to fire them up the wire.

But there's something else more important in action here,

something that was explained by one of Blast Lab's all-time heroes.

He really was the business.

Sir Isaac Newton.

A fabulously clever bloke, who did some very clever scientific stuff.

But he was probably best at explaining complicated things

so that we could all understand them. He came up with some laws,

about stuff that's going on around us all the time.

And his law number three explained how space rockets work.

Well, not directly, because space rockets hadn't been invented.

But it explained the principles that still happen today.

Basically, in every rocket, when it fires its engine to get up

into space, it pushes that way. And that means there's a push that way.

That was Newton's law, you see?

He said, for every shove that way, there's a shove that way.

For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

So, as the rocket shoves that way, it goes that way.

And it's the same here.

As the air forces itself out that way, it pushes that way.

And that means the rocket goes that way.

Look at her, standing around.

Talking about Sir Isaac Newton's Third Law. What?

I've gone on a bit, haven't I?

You're ready to go, aren't you? Right, let's get on with this, then.

Reds, get into position there. Choose your rocket, please.

Yellows, go behind the table and await your turn.

-Reds, have you decided on your rocket?

-Yeah.

-Which one is it?

-That one.

-Why?

Because it's very streamline.

Good, thinking about the aerodynamics of the thing?

Very good. OK, well, step up to the launch pad with your rocket.

Right, it's coming up to pressure now. Here we go.

Yeah! Oh... Well, you know, it's not space.

But it launched, it launched.

Personally, I'm...

APPLAUSE

Sadly, that doesn't score you any points at all.

It's not quite in the zone for one point.

Yellow team, choose your bottle, step up to the mark.

And do your launch.

Away we go. If is this is a bigger bottle,

it's going to take more air, isn't it?

Anybody got much to do, this evening? Busy tomorrow?

Wahey! Look at that! Wow.

Well, done, Yellows.

So, that's five points. Now, here's how it's going to work.

At the end of this, whoever's got the most points off there, will win

this game and win a point, overall. OK?

-Reds, which bottle for your next attempt?

-That one.

The big one. Because?

-It carries far.

-Frankly, because you just saw it work really well

and a scientist learning from experiments is what it's all about.

Lab rat, is that seal correct?

Get off there.

Here we go. OK, we're walking up towards a launch.

Keep pumping! Air's being squashed in,

when it wants to escape...

that's what will make this work.

We're all getting tired of going "whoa-a-a!"

Yes! Whoa, is that in the five zone?

Yes, it is. It's in the five zone.

Well, done. Good effort, Reds. Well done, well done.

-Right, Yellows, which rocket you going for now?

-That one.

Oh, this one you can't use. This is Mini Miss's special one.

She'll get very angry.

Miss, they nearly took your own special rocket there. Which one?

-That one.

-Why?

-Because it's streamline,

-like the other one was.

-So, you're thinking streamline?

OK, good luck, good luck.

All the time that air being pumped into the bottle,

squashed up to the end. Because you can compress it.

Oh! Oh, not bad.

APPLAUSE

I think that's in the two zone. It didn't quite make it to three.

Still, well done.

OK, Reds, you're going with that one because...?

-It is fat.

-We just...

-Hang on. This is a different issue.

Because you guys were talking about streamline.

This time you're talking about it's got more air in it.

That's why you want it. OK.

OK, Reds, you, at the moment, have a total of five points.

The Yellows have seven points.

So, unless you get three...

which will take you to eight overall on this...

you'll have lost. Keep going, keep pumping.

You can hear it's about to launch...

Yes! Whoa, well done!

Well done.

Reds on a total of nine.

So, Yellows are on a total of seven.

You need to get three or more with this to win.

Here we go. You can hear a bit of air escaping.

Ah, Yellows, I'm so sorry. That means then, the Reds win that game.

You win the point for the Reds. Well done!

APPLAUSE

Total scores, three, one.

So, our bottle rockets there, using just air,

and, of course, old Isaac Newton's Third Law. He really was brilliant.

Sorry, I'm a fan. I can't help it!

They're pretty effective, but we can make them more powerful

by changing the mixture of our rocket fuel.

And we don't have to add anything that explodes.

Just simple water will do.

This is a water rocket scientist.

Hello, I'm a water rocket scientist.

He claims that his rudimentary water rockets, made out of nothing more

than plastic bottles, sticky tape and an old bin bag...

can fly higher than a firework. Or even a distress flare.

In a brave attempt to teach my lab rats something useful,

he's going to show them how he builds his rockets.

They work using

a combination of high pressure and Newton's Third Law of Motion.

Our scientist part fills the rocket with water

and increases the pressure inside, until it's ready to burst.

Then, we simply release the pressure,

which allows the water to escape downwards with incredible force.

And this pushes the bottle rocket upwards and into the sky.

Meanwhile, my highly-focused lab rats are paying our expert as much

attention as they did to their teachers at school.

Right, enough of that.

It's time for a test.

Don't worry about the danger our lab rat assistants might be in here.

They're completely useless and bred for this type of thing.

And only they'd be stupid enough to get involved

with this sort of experiment.

Three...

Two...

One...

Blast off!

The firework was a slow starter.

But it's soon overtaken the water rocket.

The firework wins.

So, his small water rocket failed to beat the firework.

But how will our expert's biggest rocket

get on against this distress flare?

OK, let's hold that experiment right there.

There's an extra point in this...

The score right now, 3-1, possible extra point for you, Yellows.

..to the team that can tell me, will that big water rocket

-go higher than the distress flare? Reds, does it do it, or not?

-Yes.

-You think it does. Yellows?

-Yes.

-You think it does.

The two points cancel each other out if you get it right.

There's only one way to find out - let's have a look at the experiment.

Our water rocket scientist is just making his final preparations

to his giant rocket.

Oh, it's gone off too early!

No, it looks like it's actually exploded.

The top of the rocket blew off.

But the bottom has been left behind.

Right then, Mr Scientist,

you've got one more chance with your back-up rocket.

Just get your preparations right this time.

Brilliant... The landing parachute's fallen off!

You've got one more chance, rocket boffin. Let's go.

OK, it hasn't gone off in his face, and the top hasn't fallen off.

Here we go.

Three...

Two...one...

Blast off!

The rocket's not going off...

The rocket is not going off!

The flare's gone about a kilometre up into the sky.

What's happening with the rocket?

Ah!

Watch out, lab rat!

Oh, just missed.

Well, thanks a lot, pal(!)

Your status as water rocket scientist has just been revoked.

Cheerio.

Sorry, guys, no points.

They didn't get points either. No points.

Right, time now, then, for you all to go off

and get ready for The Messy Messy Mess Test.

Go and get your outfits on. You need your protective clothing.

Trust me, you do need...

Ohhh, that's bad!

The water wheel's stopped outside. Means we've lost power.

Never mind, I've made contingency plans!

It's time to switch to emergency power. Lab rat!

Get on that foot pump, please.

Go on, on the foot pump! Charge it up.

There you go. It's brilliant, this. I made it myself. Look at that.

Probably every home should have one.

It's perfectly green. But it'd take too long to explain.

You carry on with that, thank you,

while we move on to The Messy Messy Mess Test...

..which today is in the septic tank.

This is where all the waste from my different experiments goes.

Actually, I managed to create a new type of tiny bacteria,

the other day, that will eat away all the bad things in here,

and convert it into pure water. It's brilliant.

Unfortunately, one of the chemicals I threw away in here

made some of the tiny bacteria mutate,

to about the size of a medium rat.

So, you might want to look out for those, in there...

Here is the game, then. Hidden in this tank are discs.

Some, like this, are duds.

But the ones you're after are like these, held by my lab rat.

They feature your team's colour, and the name of prizes.

Things like MP3 players, a Bopit, maybe a radio-controlled mosquito.

Lab rat, hide those, and get out.

Thank you. Your job, teams, is to get as many prize discs as you can,

with your team's colour, out of there and into these baskets.

We have one for yellow and one for red.

The team to get the most prize discs into their baskets

will take home the prizes written on them.

The losing team has to blow their prizes up.

There's one further complication this week.

Harriet, show us your arm.

You've bust it.

Clearly, with a broken arm,

messing about in the septic tank is out of the question.

Fortunately Harriet's brother, George, has volunteered

to stand in and do it for her! Which I think is a pretty noble gesture.

You didn't break this just to get out of going in there, did you?

-No.

-No. You did that weeks ago.

-Yes.

I think that's a pretty decent excuse.

Red Team, you start first because you've got the most points,

and they've earned you a five-second advantage.

When you hear the first siren, start looking for prize discs.

But Yellow Team, you listen out. As soon as you hear the second siren,

you can start.

You have some time to get as many prize discs as you can

into these baskets.

And that some time starts...

NOW!

SIREN WAILS

Into the septic gunge dive the Reds.

Without a single thought for their own safety. Or personal hygiene.

-SIREN WAILS

-The second siren...

and the Yellows immediately getting stuck in.

Quite literally, getting stuck in...

The Yellows already finding prize discs.

Come on, Reds. He might be losing his hat,

but that is another prize disc already, for the Yellows!

What's going on, Reds?

Their basket is empty, while the Yellows' is bulging already.

The Reds seem to have a knack for finding all of the fake discs.

A commendable achievement,

but one that will earn them exactly no prizes!

Oh, and another white disc in the red basket. Brilliant.

It's amazing. Every time I forget to warn them that,

sometimes, the pipes will spew out

more of the hideous, nameless goo into the tank.

But they do bring prize discs with them, sometimes.

So, there's a positive side.

Looks like Reds are getting their act together.

But do they have enough time?

Who knows, with my "some time" clock!

GIRL SHRIEKS

Oh, a huge septic gunk shower there,

for an unfortunate member of the Red Team.

I think that shriek said it all.

The Reds then, in a complete mess,

while the Yellows methodically go about their business.

But with both baskets looking pretty healthy now, it's anyone's guess

who will emerge from the gunge, to the sweet smell of victory.

And who will just...smell.

END-OF-GAME BUZZER

Time is up, time is up.

You're all still with us.

George, thank you for standing in there. Well done.

Let's see which team has won.

How many then for the Reds, lab rat?

Seven for the Reds! Well done. Well done.

APPLAUSE

But let's find out if that's enough to clinch it.

Lab rat, how many for the Yellows?

Nine? Nine for the Yellows? That's amazing.

Yellows, that's incredible. You're each going to take home with you...

a crystal growing kit...

plug and play electronic kit...

white wings glider kit...

remote control mosquito...

cosmic flashing scooter...

a chemistry set...

Robo Bugs...

kitchen chemistry set...

a microscope.

-Is this part of it?

-Yes-s-s...

-No, it's not.

-Yes, it is.

That didn't get in there. Sorry, lads, the disc wasn't in.

Is this the time to appear ungrateful, Tom? Let's think.

You're taking home one of those each.

Whereas the Red Team have a rather different fate awaiting them.

Because all of these prize discs are what you would have won.

-Cosmic flashing scooter...

-Ohh.

..Bopit. That would have been nice.

White wings glider kit, that would have been handy. Yeah.

Robo Bugs, nice.

A microscope...oh, yeah.

An MP3 player each. That would have been nice.

And chemistry set. You would've won one.

But, instead of taking them home,

you're going to blow them up. It's Bidet Goes Bang!

It's that time, in the Blast Lab, once again.

When, strangely, one team,

the team standing behind a massive pile of prizes, looks really happy.

Yellows, well done. You won.

All of that lot going home with you.

The other team, today the Reds,

not...quite...so happy. How you feeling?

-Sad.

-Yeah, well, you know, somebody had to win.

Somebody had to lose. That's how it goes. Like Newton's Third Law -

There's an equal... I won't go on about it again, right now.

What do you think went wrong?

-BOTH: We weren't quick enough.

-It's really difficult in there.

Bad luck, Reds. Who's going to push the plunger, and do the dirty deed?

-All of us.

-I think that's probably the best way to do it.

Right, the moment is nearly upon us.

In this very lab, I've tried exploding things in kettles,

exploding things in vases. But, if there's one thing I've learnt,

it's that you always get the best bang from a bidet.

And here it is, with your prizes in.

Reds, if you'd like to step forward, please.

Make ready with the plunger. Lift it up...

We'll all give you the countdown. All ready, audience?

Five, four, three, two, one!

Yup, there you go, there you go. Bad luck, Reds. Well done, Yellows.

Today we've learned about Newton's Third Law -

every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

And that not all rockets go quite to plan. See you next time.

APPLAUSE

Sorry, Reds. Well done, Yellows.

Blast Lab was recorded in front of a live studio audience.

No lab rats were hurt during filming... Probably.

Wouldn't have felt it if they were.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]