Episode 13 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

I think just a tiny bit more of this, and we should have it about...

here!

I meant that. That's how that was supposed to go.

POLICE SIRENS

Yeah, they're turning up just to look because it was so interesting.

Anyway, hello!

I'm Richard, and this is my Blast Lab, my top-secret science facility.

If any of you mention this place to your parents, I'll come over

to your house and gunge you for reasons of national security.

I've invited two carefully selected teams to take on

a series of scientific challenges. The team with the greatest skill,

knowledge and intelligence will be walking away with exciting prizes.

Let's see what's in store today.

I usually have a crack team of SAS officers guarding this lab

from intruders, but they cancelled at the last minute today, because

apparently they need to do some electrical work back at the SAS HQ.

How many SAS men does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, 12 apparently.

Luckily for me, I have a relative who's trained in martial arts.

It's not my judo brother or karate mum, it is my Ninja Nan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ninja Nan. Thanks for standing in.

She might look fragile, but she's a fully-trained Ninja.

THWACKS AND SLAPS

Yeah. Take your place in security, please, Nan.

Nan! Take your place in security. Thank you. Thank you.

Don't make any sudden movements when she's around

or she'll be on you like a cheetah.

Not one of those fast cheetahs, a slow, but lethal, cheetah.

There she goes.

She is deadly, though. She is! Nan, are you settled into security yet?

Are you in position? There she is.

She'll get settled into her security chair. Sorry, into her Ninja bag

for Ninja knitting. Keeps her occupied. Stops her being dangerous.

While she gets her knitting going, let's have a look at who's

trying to get into my lab today. It should be a bunch of people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see. You applaud.

You guys all say you're the Yellow Team, don't you?

But are you? We can't be too sure. This is a top-secret lab.

So before I can let you through security I have to run

some checks on you from my security file.

-Identify yourselves by name, please.

-Alice.

-William.

-Bethan.

Alice. William. Bethan. That checks out with what I've got here.

It also says on your security file, hidden talent,

-Bethan, you can use your foot as a telephone?

-Yeah, I can.

Go on, then. If you'd do that for us.

Ding, a-ding, a-ling. Hello?

That's her foot used as a phone. You're cleared through security.

Come through to the lab, please. Mind Ninja Nan. Ready to spring.

Welcome. That confirms it, then. You are cleared through security.

You are our Yellow Team. Where are you from?

ALL: Isle of Wight and we are...

# ABW Question mark. #

Good grief. You've worked out a name and a dance. Waste of time, really.

You are the Yellow Team. That's that. Welcome to the lab.

There should somewhere in there be a bunch of people

claiming to be the Red Team. Hello.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Don't get excited, they could be anybody. Let's prove they are

-who they say. Identify yourselves.

-Elena.

-Nathan.

-Josh.

Elena. Nathan. Josh. That checks out. Now, your hidden talent.

It says here, Josh, you're going to do something for us but,

hold on, don't move a muscle.

It says you can do martial arts. With Ninja Nan in the room anything

could happen. I've got a Lab Rat securing her, cordoning her off.

I reckon you're safe to demonstrate your martial arts

-without being torn apart by Ninja Nan.

-What can you do for us?

Ooh. Ooh, right. I'd say that's some martial arts right there.

You're cleared through security. Come on in.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Josh, it's difficult to describe the danger you were in with Ninja Nan.

Did you not sense the martial presence of her?

OK, she keeps it well hidden. She really does.

Welcome to the Blast Lab. Where are you from?

-ALL: Mansfield, and we are...

-N...

-E...

-...J.

-ALL:Woo!

That's elaborate and unnecessary because you are the Red Team.

That's your team name. Welcome to the lab. Both teams,

time for you to get into position, ready for the first game.

Go and make yourselves comfortable. To help me with the first round

I'd like to welcome a special friend of mine. It is Oliver.

Oliver has the very latest state of the art

factual navigation system, or FACTNAV for short,

designed to be the smartest on board science computer ever seen.

But I built it myself and I think I wired something up wrong,

because every now and then it comes up with a fact

that is totally false.

Thankfully, Oliver knows what's what and can spot the porky pies.

The thing is, can our two teams?

So I will give each team a fact.

If it is true, Oliver will do this.

HORNS AND SIRENS

And if it's false, Oliver will do this.

FOGHORN

OK, teams. It's clear enough, I think.

You understand the rules here. Right, one fact each.

Red, you're going first.

Here's your fact, tell me whether this is true or false.

A trillion tonnes of the world's water

evaporates each day in the sun.

Evaporates? Have a chat and a think. Work it out. You never know what one

of you might know that might help. I'll ask the audience if it is

true or false. What do you think?

SHOUTING

A fair few trues, but quite a few false there as well.

A few not believing that. Down here, what do we think? True or false?

OK, I reckon it's a mixed bag from the audience.

Don't go by them anyway, because...well, look at them.

What do you think for yourselves?

-We think true.

-You think it's true that a trillion tonnes of the

world's water does evaporate every day in the sun.

Oliver, is it true or false?

HORNS AND SIRENS

It's true! That is your first point. Well done. Moist air rises.

As the air cools, water vapour begins to condense out of it.

That's where clouds come from.

After the water droplets get too big to stay in the cloud,

they become heavier. They can collide with each other.

That causes rain. Or to give it's posh name, precipitation.

OK, Yellow Team, here comes your science fact.

Is this true or false?

A bolt of lightning is so hot

that if it hits sand, it can turn it into glass.

A bolt of lightning hits sand, it can turn the sand into glass.

Have a chat. A think. Everything you think might help, discuss it.

Meanwhile, audience, what do you think? True or false?

SHOUTING

A real mixed bag again.

No obvious real help from the audience. What do you think?

-True.

-You think it's true? You think that if a bolt of lightning

hits the sand it does turn it into glass. Oliver, is it true or false?

HORNS AND SIRENS

It's true! That's a point for Yellow Team as well. Well done.

Actually, it makes glass rods in the sand, called fulgurites.

They can be all knobbly, like branches, and the amount of energy

required to do that? Estimates vary. But the temperature, they reckon,

could be 4,000 degrees C. So it's really toasty.

One last question for both teams. This time it really is a question.

I don't want you to tell me if this is true or false, just an answer.

Write it down on these boards

and I will give a point to whichever team is closest to the answer.

If you were to drive a car at 60mph towards the sun, for 24 hours a day,

how long would it take you to reach the sun?

Have a chat, have a think. If you were to drive a car 60mph

for 24 hours, how long would it take you to reach the sun?

Audience, any suggestions for that?

I'll bring my mug-tree mic. It's disguised.

Still, nobody likes it. What do you think?

Is it a trick question?

So you don't trust me? You come to my lab and you don't trust me.

How can it be a trick question? Because there is no road to the sun?

You have a very good point. But it's not a trick question.

There is an answer. Yes?

It would be over 1,500 miles.

I need it in time. I need time.

How long it would take.

I need this answer. Here's a clue.

It's in years, quite a long time. What do you think?

Would you die on the way?

Yes, you'd get really hot.

I'm not suggesting that you jump in Oliver and drive to the sun.

But how long do you reckon in years? Really hot...

Ten years?

Ten years? It's a tricky one.

To be honest, I don't know the answer off the top of my head.

-I would probably be impossible.

-Look, can we establish, audience,

I know it's tricky! I'm not suggesting we all set off for

the sun on holiday. Theoretically.

That means we're not actually going to do it, but theoretically.

The distance the sun is from the earth is the key factor.

How long would it take to drive there?

We're not going to get an accurate answer here.

Maybe we will, though, from our teams. Are you feeling clever?

Good, right. I need some answers, then. Let's have a look.

In years, how long do you think?

Reds, you've written down five years.

Yellows, you've written down 950 years.

Quite a range in your answers there, from five years to 950.

The real answer is...

It would take you 177 years, which means the Red Team win the point.

Well done.

If you were thinking of going, anybody, it's actually

1,550,520 hours of driving, because earth is, more or less,

92,955,807.3 miles from the sun.

That means Red Team is in the lead. Two points to Yellows' one.

Well done to both teams.

That's all to come. Right now, it's time to play Mini Science.

Our contestants will use household objects to conduct complex

scientific experiments. To help me is my old school teacher, Mini Miss.

CHEERING

-What have you been up to, Miss?

-I helped Stephen Hawking

with his physics homework. He really isn't very good.

I should explain that I had an accident with my time machine,

and to cut a long story short, my 65-year-old science teacher

has come back as a ten-year-old. She's now the only teacher who can

-get away with travelling to school in Heelys.

-Hurry up!

My quantum theories aren't going to write themselves!

Sorry, Miss. What's on the curriculum today?

-Today we're looking at centrifugal force.

-Of course we are. I knew that.

Teams have to master the use of it in a game called Funnel Force.

You have to spin a ball in a funnel without stopping.

OK, that's looks tricky.

Whoever gets the most amount of balls in their cylinder

wins the game.

That's not that easy because each team has to do this whilst

racing around an obstacle course.

-I shall demonstrate, if that's OK with you, Miss.

-OK, then.

I've brought my own, which I specially prepared.

-No, I know. I happen to be very good at this.

-Richard.

I know, it's going so fast you can hardly see it move.

-You'd think it was stuck.

-Richard!

I'll get on with it. This is what you do, teams. Pay attention.

Across the Bridge Of Destiny,

sticking to the left-hand side. This is difficult.

If the ball falls out and lands in the septic tank, leave it,

you don't want it back, trust me! That ball is out of play.

Then turn round onto the other side of the bridge,

dash back and the next team member goes.

If you get across the bridge successfully, you carry on,

down the stairs, here, and around to the high jump.

If the ball falls out at any point from hereon in,

stop exactly where you are. Freeze, don't move.

A Lab Rat will give you another ball to put in the funnel.

You can't move until it's spinning again. Once it's up and spinning,

you carry on. Past my reinvention of the bicycle. Do you like that?

It never worked. Across the Stepping Stones of Science.

Drop down to the end. Then the Yellow Team stop here.

Put their ball in that beacon. The Red Team in that one.

Then you return back across the bridge. When you get back to

your base, you high-five the next team member and they can set off.

-Does everybody understand the rules?

-ALL: Yes!

We will be watching. If the ball comes out of the funnel, freeze,

a Lab Rat will give you another one.

You can't set off until it's spinning again. OK?

You have some time to do this

and that time starts...now!

CHEERING

Use the force.

Absolute concentration shown on

the faces of both competitors here today.

They're determined not to mess up.

Ah. Like that. The red ball is down and the yellow ball is down as well.

Straight away, problems on the Bridge Of Destiny.

Both of the balls ending up in the septic tank.

But they're back out there already,

making short work of the bridge this time.

Reds lose another ball, But as they're over the bridge,

one of my Lab Rats will get them going again

from where it was dropped.

A spill from the Yellows.

It's obviously not as easy as I made it look,

but then I'm a professional. And it's neck-and-neck as they

round the summertime clock corner and make their way

under the limbo pole. Good ball control there by both teams.

Reds have their first score, and almost simultaneously,

a big drop from the yellows. That could cost them.

She recovers well,

scores for the Yellows, and heads back to her waiting team-mates.

CHEERING

Some absolutely fabulous play from the Red Team right now.

Really, really controlled. Elena, I think,

has a particular skill for this. She has mastered the force.

She lost it just when I said that, that was my fault!

The Yellows look to have made up grand, here. Can they catch

the Reds, who looked to be running away with it up to this point?

There's a lot of centrifugal force going on around us all the time.

When a car turns left or right,

you'll feel it pushing you the other way. If you spin something

on the end of a piece of rope, that is centrifugal force.

The thing that's spinning wants to keep going on in a straight line,

but it can't because the rope is holding it back. This is the same.

The funnel is holding the ball in. It's centrifugal force that explains

why you can stay in a rollercoaster when it does loop the loop,

how they do the motorcycle wall of death, and why the clothes

stick to the outside of the drum in a washing machine.

'Five, four, three, two, one...'

And your time is up!

Some great play from both teams. That was very difficult,

mastering centrifugal force. Let's find out who has won.

Yellow Team, three.

Red team, I make that four for the Red Team. The Reds are the winners.

A score now of 3-1. Congratulations, all.

Centrifugal force doesn't just affect ping-pong balls,

motorcycle riders and clothes in the washing machine.

It can affect anything, even the air.

But what about...fire?

When man discovered fire, it changed his world, forever.

That discovery was made millennia ago.

This Lab Rat, on the other hand, is still trying...

and still trying.

As I would never let him actually handle a naked flame,

his lack of success is no bad thing.

But what's this?

Matches? No, Lab Rat, no!

No-one, especially a stupid Lab Rat, should play with matches.

Ever! If you do, you could get burnt,

or in this Lab Rat's case... very wet.

This one, however, is highly trained and very responsible.

Well, for a Lab Rat, anyway.

He's going to try and create a tornado of fire.

In order to produce a fire tornado,

all we need is to create spinning air around a burning fire.

As the fire rises it will be drawn into the spiralling air,

creating a tall, spinning column of fire.

So to make our own fire tornado,

I've asked the Lab Rat to light a fire on this revolving plate.

But will it work, or will centrifugal force

fling the fire out of control?

I'll stop the tape there because I want to ask, will it work? Teams?

What do you reckon? Will this work?

Will it have an effect? Yellow Team?

-I think it will cave in.

-You think it will cave in? OK.

-Red team, any theories?

-There's going to be a fire tornado.

-You think there'll be a fire tornado?

-Yeah.

-There was a hand

going up over there. This is my special mug-tree microphone.

You can hang mugs on it, and it's a microphone. You're impressed!

-Yeah.

-You're not impressed, are you?

-I am.

-What do you think?

I think it's just going to stay in the same place, but turn around,

-so it looks like a tornado but actually it's not.

-Right.

So do we reckon we'll see a lot happening or only a bit happening?

You think a lot?

Not very much would happen, because...

Well, it might happen, but it's not going to be

-very powerful, if you like.

-So only a bit. So let's get an idea again.

Red Team, what to you think will happen when we spin the fire?

-A fire tornado.

-I think it will look like stream line going up.

-Right. Yellow Team, what do you think?

-I think the fire,

the wheel will go round, but the fire's up, so it's not doing much.

You don't think we'll see anything. You think we'll see a fire tornado.

There's a point here. If this happens, if there is a tornado,

if nothing happens, if you're right, you get a point.

Let's see what happens.

OK, here it goes. Round and round.

And round...and round.

Not very much happening there.

It looks like it has not created a fire tornado.

I don't know, having seen that. It looked borderline to me.

Do we think it had an effect of or not?

You could see a bit. It wasn't really...not a tornado.

I've taken an executive decision at the lowest possible level.

It's my lab. I'll give you each a point, a point for both teams.

It's time for us to move on to a messy, messy, mess test.

That means both teams have to go off and get changed.

Get changed into your protective suits, please, guys.

There is a way we can affect the fire with centrifugal force.

Because the air around it is being affected by centrifugal force.

And if we can put something in the way of that air to make it spin,

theoretically we could actually make a fire tornado.

Right, here we go.

Straight away, the air is pushed out by the wire grid in the way.

So the air is spinning, and spinning

and look, this is making the fire spin, too.

And yes, it's producing a fire tornado.

Perfect for roasting your marshmallows.

I'd say that was a fire tornado, personally.

APPLAUSE

It wasn't huge. But it worked. Right, it's time for us to move on

to the messy, messy, mess test.

Which today is in the septic tank. Are you comfortable in there guys?

-Yes.

-Good. Ooh, this morning the waterworks started to overflow,

so I offered to store some of the excess in here.

Interestingly, I found something moving in there earlier on.

I hit it with a spade, so I think it's dead now.

If you do see anything, give me a yell. I still have the spade handy.

This is the game. Hidden in the tank are discs.

Some are like this one. Duds.

But the ones you're after, are like these, my Lab Rat is holding up.

They feature your team's colour and the name of a prize.

Things like snotty slime clock. A set of robo-bugs,

a radio-controlled airship. Lab Rat, if you'd hide those, please.

Well, that will teach you to play with matches.

And then get out of the septic tank. Now your job, teams, is to get

as many of the prize discs as you can into the basket. You've got one

for red over there. One for the yellow team here.

The team to get the most prize discs into their basket will take home

the prizes written on them.

The losing team has to blow their prizes up.

Red, you'll be starting first because you've got the most points.

They've earned you a five second advantage.

When you hear the first siren, you start.

Yellow team, you can only begin when you hear the second siren.

You have got some time to get as many prize discs

into the basket as possible and that some time starts now!

The Yellows remain frozen like statues

as the Reds set to work around them.

SIREN

There's the second siren. The Yellows should be off,

but they're still doing their statue impressions!

And what's this? More confusion in the ranks with the Red Team

unsure whether the yellow prize disc in his hand

is actually a red disc in disguise.

Luckily a member of the Red Team has pointed out that the disc is yellow,

so it's probably a yellow disc. Nice one!

They're all at it, the Yellow member, there,

seeing a red disc and taking it for his own.

That siren means, I don't know how to put this,

there's more stuff on its way. On the bad side, that means

there's more of whatever's in there about to join them.

On the plus side, there might be more prize discs.

A yellow disc in a yellow basket.

We're off the mark now, at last. Another siren, and another member

of the Yellow Team completely covered in disgusting, smelly,

well, we don't know what the brown stuff is.

Safe to say I wouldn't put it on my cereal in the morning!

Hurry, teams, there's only a random amount of some time left

on the clock, so maybe there's no some time to spare.

Everyone putting in a supreme amount of effort here today, but it

looks like the Yellows are turning that hard work into results.

'Five, four, three, two, one.'

SIRENS

OK! Both teams! You look...nice in there.

Time is up.

My Lab Rats are counting up the discs to see which team has won.

One, two, three, four, five. Well done. Five for the Reds.

For the Yellows, we have, one, two, three, four, five...

Six for the yellows! You're the winner!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yellow Team, you are the winners, so you'll each be taking home

one of the following. What have we got, Lab Rat?

Thank you, Ninja Nan for modelling these for us. Planetarium, each.

-3D globe puzzle.

-CHEERING

-A Hulk Smash-Hands.

-CHEERING

-A snotty slime clock.

-CHEERING

-A transforming robot.

-CHEERING

And a robo-spider.

Each of you will be taking those prizes home.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now the slightly less cheery bit, that I really enjoy,

because we'll find out, Reds, these are the prizes you would have won.

You would each have taken home a 3D globe puzzle.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

Hulk Smash-Hands.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

A turbo blimp.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

A transforming robot.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

Robo-bugs.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

But you're not taking those home with you. Instead, Reds,

you're going to blow your prizes up. Time for Bidet Goes Bang.

So this is it. Reds, how you feeling right now?

-Sad, but happy at the same time.

-I think you took it very well when

I told you you had to blow your prizes up.

-Who's going to push the plunger?

-We're all going to do it.

-Altogether?

-Yeah.

-What went wrong in the game? Why did you lose?

I think we didn't use team work, we just went for it.

You're now going to blow your prizes up. No putting it off.

Your prizes are in the bidet, ready to go bang. The Yellows are here,

very pleased with themselves and with a mountain of prizes.

Reds, this is it, the moment of truth.

Lift the plunger and be ready. We'll give you a countdown. Lift it up.

-Ready?

-Five, four, three, two, one. Go!

BANG AND SMASHING

That is all we've got time for today. We've learned all about

tornadoes and circular motion. Although with my idiot Lab Rats

around the place I usually feel like I'm going round in circles anyway.

See you next time.

Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience.

No Lab Rat was harmed during the filming.

That's what I told their mums, anyway!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Email [email protected]