Episode 12 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Hello, I'm Richard.

Yeah, I built a body-morphing machine last night and it works!

It's just not the most reliable of things.

Anyway, I am Richard Hammond, and this is my Blast Lab!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Today I have invited two teams to come along

and take part in top-level, exciting scientific challenges.

The winning team will walk off with a wheelbarrow full of prizes.

Let's have a look at what's in store.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

And the good news is that my top-secret underground lab

is guarded by a team of crack SAS soldiers.

The bad news is, I cooked for them last night

and now they're all off sick with food poisoning.

That's the last time I try cooking nuclear chicken in a basket.

But don't worry, I have invited the very next best thing.

She's trained in all ancient forms of martial arts,

because she is herself ancient.

-She is my Ninja Nan!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Ninja Nan, thanks for standing in.

Now, she looks fragile, but she is a fully-trained ninja.

See? Nan, if you'd like to make your way to security.

Nan. Nan? Nan!

Sorry, Nan. if you'd like to make your way to security and settle in.

There she goes! Look at that!

Faster than a lightning bolt!

Stronger than a bear!

Right now, as sleepy as a sloth!

It's further than it looks to the security centre there.

It's about a mile. She'll be there soon!

Nan, are you settled in...

Oh, there she is, look, pulling her little ninja trolley, marvellous!

It's good to know she's there to protect us from invaders.

Oh, what has she got? Aah, knitting! Yes!

She's now so good at karate that she's actually beyond a black belt,

which is as far as you can go, technically,

so she's knitting herself a new belt, beyond a black belt.

OK, you carry on, Nan. Meanwhile, we're gonna meet the group of people who claim to be our teams for today.

Let's have a look at you. Show yourselves!

CHEERS AND SQUEALS

Yes, yes, yes, audience, we're all very excited,

if they are the Yellow Team. They could be anybody!

Can't be too careful here - that's why we have security and Ninja Nan.

Sorry, I have to make sure that you are who you say you are.

Your names, please - I'll check them off on the list.

-You are?

-Kristy!

-Katie!

-Alice!

Kristy, Katie and Alice... yes, that checks out.

Hidden talent, to prove you are who you say you are.

-Alice, it's got your name here.

-Yes. I'm a gymnast.

Really? You see, you say that!

We can't be too sure and we can't be too careful.

Prove it and you can come in.

OK, fair enough, I'd say that that proves you're a gymnast -

you're cleared through security. Come into the Blast Lab.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Sorry about that, can't be too careful.

Can't let just anybody in. Where have you all come from?

Milton Keynes,

and we are the Penguins!

Wooh!

Oh, you've got your own name and your own routine!

You needn't have bothered - you're the Yellow Team.

Let's meet the people who claim to be the Red Team

you'll be playing against.

Where are they? Show yourselves, chaps!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

OK. Now you say you're the Red Team for Blast Lab?

Well, I need you to prove that, obviously.

-What are your names, first of all?

-Stanley!

-Philip!

-Daniel!

Stanley, Philip and Daniel? Yeah, that checks out.

Hidden talent, it says all three of you are gonna prove

you are who you say you are. How?

-We're gonna rap.

-That's what it says here. OK, right, prove it, then!

-BEATBOXES

-Bless you.

RAPS: My name is Dan I am the man...

-He's deflated!

-RAPS: My best mate Philip and my best mate Stan

If you see us in the park or you see us in the street

If you wanna meet the winners it's us you're gonna meet!

Fair enough! That was a rap, I reckon so.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

That's all it took, you see!

You have to prove who you are before I let you in.

-Where have you come from?

-Kent...and we are the Golden Eagles!

Well, you're very loud but you're the Red Team and that's final!

Welcome to Blast Lab.

Reds and Yellows, we're gonna be doing round one in a second,

so go over there, get settled in.

Good luck to both teams. I've noticed something.

It's a boys' team and a girls' team today.

I'm expecting the competition to be high.

Right, let's bring on my assistant. He is so clever,

the only thing higher than his IQ is the number on his milometer!

It is of course, Oliver!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Now this, this is Oliver's hi-tech state-of-the-art Fact Nav.

All the facts in the world are stored in it. It's brilliant!

Unfortunately, I fitted it, so it doesn't work. Well, not very well.

Sometimes the facts are true sometimes they're false,

so I need my two teams to decide which are true and which are false.

Fortunately, Oliver is cleverer than me and he knows the answers anyway,

so if it is true, he'll do this...

SIRENS AND WHIRRS

And if our science fact is false, he'll tell us by doing this...

HORN BLARES

OK. This, then, is Round One.

Teams, your first chance to earn points here in the Blast Lab.

Are you all settled and comfortable? Nervous?

You all seem very calm.

Daniel, you're the only one. Good luck!

Here comes the first fact.

Reds, you go first. I need you to tell me if this is true or false.

Human eyes get bigger the colder the weather gets.

At 20 degrees, they're the size of tennis balls.

Have a chat, have a think. Audience, tell me, is that true or false?

Audience, what do you think? Shout it out!

AUDIENCE: False!

Fairly clear decision from the audience, there.

-False.

-You're going with false? Now is that because of what you believe,

or did you listen to the audience?

-False!

-What you believe? Do you all agree?

-Yes.

-Are you all in agreement on that, Stanley?

-Yeah!

-Philip?

-Yeah.

OK, OK. You think it's false? Oliver, is it true or false?

-HORN BLARES

-It is false!

That's a point to the Reds straightaway. Well done!

Right, Yellows, your turn. This is your science fact.

Is it true or false?

Water can cut through steel. True or false?

Have a chat, think about it, girls. Audience, is it true or false?

What do you think? Is that true or false?

Ooh, split the audience down the middle, that one!

Everyone here thinks it's true,

quite a few down there thinking it's false.

Alice, Katie, Kristy, what do you think?

You're the ones playing for a point. You're one behind already.

-No pressure, just reminding you of that! What do you think?

-False!

-You think it's...

-No, true; sorry!

That was a quick mind-change from the girls' team!

-Are you going with true?

-Yeah!

-Final answer?

-Yeah!

-Not gonna change?

-No!

-Are you sure you're not gonna change?

-I'm sure!

OK. Oliver, is it true or false?

-SIREN AND WHIRRS

-It is true! Point to the Yellows!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

They actually use water jet tools to cut through metal

and it goes at such a high pressure it's 30 times the speed of the water

that you use to clean your car,

so, if you ever get one of those water pressure jet tools,

don't clean the car with it! You'll cut straight through it!

Right, the third question.

This is the one I don't need a true or false answer for.

I need a proper answer. OK, teams?

I'll give the points to the team that gets closest.

It doesn't have to be bang-on. Here's the question.

How many rivets hold up the Eiffel Tower in Paris?

I know, it's easy! Sometimes I worry these are too easy.

I know that your face there, Daniel, is telling me that it's too easy!

Have a chat, have a chat! Teams, have a talk between you.

Audience, anybody got a clue?

I'm coming over to talk to you in this new health-conscious age.

You'll think this is a pineapple, but what I've done here

is very clever - it's also a microphone! Very hi-tech!

It also counts as one of your five a day so it's...

What do you think? How many rivets hold up the Eiffel Tower?

-About 200,000.

-200,000?

-Yeah!

-Do you know that, or is it a complete guess?

-Complete guess!

If we're honest, what else could it be?

-Maybe somebody who knows!

-Er...

Does anybody here know the answer? Anybody been to the Eiffel Tower?

-Yeah.

-Well, why didn't you count the rivets for us?!

-How many did you think there were? You've seen it!

-About 8,000.

8,000 rivets? Any advance on that? Any different answers? No?

You're impressed with this, though, aren't you?

You see it's the latest in fruit technology.

I made it here in the Blast Lab. Just look at that.

You'd never see the microphone, either.

-Yes, how many do you think?

-A billion?

-A billion?

We've got quite a range going on here.

OK, I think it's time to see what our teams think.

I can see scribbling going on so we're writing down answers, clearly.

I'll put this pineapple microphone here -

if anybody is from the world of marketing and wants to

come and talk to me about taking it worldwide, it's there!

OK, Reds, you've got an answer written down.

Yellows, have you as well? OK, both teams turn your boards round.

Show them all to us! Let's have a look at what you've got.

Reds have gone for 5,000,

Yellows, 9,500.

The actual answer is...

fairly close.

It's, er, two and a half million rivets,

which means the point goes to the Yellow Team.

-There you go!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Two and a half million! When they built it,

you needed four men to put each rivet in

because you had to heat it up and then a bloke had to hold it in place

and then another bloke had to shape the head

and another beat it in with a sledgehammer.

Two and a half million of them!

Right, so the scores now are...

-Two-one to the Yellows!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

That's all to come. Right now, it's time for Mini Science

and our teams are gonna get practical.

To help with this, please welcome

my old science teacher from school, it is Mini Miss.

-Good day, Richard.

-Good day, Miss. She taught me everything I know.

That's not saying much, is it?

Not really, especially not about time machines.

I built a time machine to bring my science teacher here

to Blast Lab from school and I messed it up.

She's actually 65 but that's why she now looks ten years old!

Luckily, though, she's as wise as ever she was.

Of course I am! I know everything about nuclear physics!

Indeed you do, Miss. So, what is today's experiment?

Today we're going to be

looking at the behaviour of light, using lasers.

Right, does that stand for

"Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation"?

-Yes, that's right, Richard, well done!

-Good.

What are we doing with lasers?

Well, the teams are going to play a game called Prism Break

and the aim of the game is to get the rat released from its cage.

-This is a rat in here?

-Yes.

-Right, OK. How do they do that?

The teams are going to have to fire a laser into the maze

and then change its direction by using mirrors.

Once it has reflected off the mirrors,

it should reflect onto the prism,

which will open the door to the cage and release the rat.

The teams have to use all their mirrors available, though,

and the team to release their rat first, wins the game.

So it's a race? OK, the little mirrors -

they've got to use all of these and I happen to have a laser here.

So you can see how these reflect.

So that's the laser just pointing against that end wall there

and if I reflect it with the mirror, there you go, it's fairly simple -

it bounces around the place, reflects off the mirror.

The difficult bit is working your way through the maze with the laser.

OK, well that sounds pretty simple.

Teams, if you'd like to get into position and ready,

Mini Miss and I will step out of your way

because I think there's going to be some competition, Miss.

Boys' team, girls' team. Both teams wanna win.

OK, teams, you have, well, as long as it takes.

It is a straight race, after all, and that race starts...

Now!

This is not as easy as it looks.

Actually, it does look quite difficult, and it is,

especially as the room seems to be filling with smoke,

which might help us see the lasers, but very little else!

Not that very long ago, lasers were only ever seen in sci-fi movies.

Now they're everywhere, places you wouldn't expect to see them.

The machine that scans the barcode in the supermarket, that's a laser.

They seal wounds in surgery with lasers

and they cut through metal with lasers.

They can be small, like the one in a CD player,

or they can be very, very big.

The most powerful laser in the world can exert a pressure

the equivalent of ten aircraft carriers balanced on your thumb,

so it's best to be careful!

How are we doing? How's it going, Reds?

-Reds, how's it going?

-Not well!

-Why not? Struggling?

-Yep.

I thought you guys had made a plan?

-We had, but it's not working!

-OK, OK.

-Yellows, how are you doing?

-Not very well!

Yep, they've messed up. I'm gonna get out of their way.

Have they done it?

The Red Team have done it!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

The Red Team solved the maze and released their rat,

which takes the score to two-all.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

All that we've just done was based on light reflecting off objects

but things can do something else with light. They can absorb it.

And that calls for another experiment, only this time,

I think we should have a bigger laser.

We're going under the cover of darkness.

Because that's where we keep our special Blast Lab laser pen.

No normal person would be stupid enough to operate this equipment

so we've brought in our very own laser lab rat,

expertly trained and infinitely replaceable,

to conduct the experiment.

We're going to find out what happens when you fire a laser beam

at different coloured balloons.

Firstly, a red balloon.

In scientific terms, it's gone bang.

Now, a green balloon.

By scientific comparison, it hasn't gone bang.

This is down to colour absorption.

We see a green balloon as green

because it absorbs all the colours except for green.

And it's the same for the red balloon -

this absorbs all the colours except for red,

and because our laser is green,

this means when our laser is shone on the green balloon,

it's not absorbed and the balloon doesn't pop,

but when our green laser is shone on the red balloon,

it is absorbed, heating up the balloon until it goes bang!

Let's try one more experiment, with the help of this laser expert.

Hello. I'm a laser expert.

He's going to fire a laser at two red balloons.

One is being held by a teddy bear behind a red plastic screen

and the other by this handsome young chap behind a green screen.

And he's going to blast them with this giant laser machine.

It gives out as much power as a nuclear power station

in just a billionth of a second

and it's so bright that without protection,

it will make everyone in the building go permanently blind.

So with anti-blindness goggles on, we're ready for action.

OK, hold that experiment right there. It's a draw right now -

two points to the Reds, two points to the Yellows.

For an extra point, what happens now? Which balloon bursts?

Does either balloon burst?

Maybe neither balloon bursts, maybe they both burst?

Have a quick chat, think what might be about to happen.

Audience, anybody got any clue?

You saw what happened to a red balloon and a green balloon,

they're both behind screens. What do we think?

Hang on!

I shall bring my amazing pineapple microphone down there...yes?

I think the one with the teddy bear is gonna burst because it's...

Because it's red and the one with the man

is not gonna burst because the man's green.

But we're behind the screens, remember, that's what changed here.

I think the teddy bear was a red herring, if you see what I mean.

Any other answers over here?

Let's have a think. Anybody got any ideas? Have you got any ideas?

-Yeah, I have.

-It's all right, I can hold it, don't worry.

-I think basically that the green one might pop as well.

-Why?

Because like it's a stronger laser, and...

-You think that the stronger laser might make a difference?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-I think that what might happen, though,

if you get another different-coloured laser it might burst the green one.

But I think this might be the same colour, be another green one.

But you've obviously been paying attention down here. Yes?

I think the balloon teddy bear is gonna pop,

but the one behind the green screen isn't.

Hang on. Do you think the teddy bear

-has got anything to do with this, or is it just...?

-OK, the balloon!

Right, OK, OK. Well, let's find out what our teams think.

No, the teddy bear.

-You think the teddy bear's gonna blow up?

-No!

-Well, it might!

Teams, have we come to conclusions?

-Yeah.

-What do you think, Reds?

-Both!

-Both.

-You think both are gonna explode?

-I think the green one.

-You think the green one?

-The green screen.

OK. So Reds think both are gonna go, Yellows think the green balloon.

Before this becomes too complicated and confusing, let's have a look.

Let's find out.

OK, it's the balloon behind the red screen first.

Stand by.

Ready...aim...

Fire!

Nothing! Zilch!

The red screen has absorbed the green laser.

Let's try the one behind the green screen.

Ready...aim...

Fire!

That's more like it!

Our green laser has not been absorbed by the green screen

and has passed through to burst the red balloon,

while the other balloon remains intact.

Well, that result then is a point for the Yellows.

That means it's at 3-2 to the Yellows

and it's time for us to move on towards the final test,

the Messy Messy Mess Test.

Both teams go off and get changed into their protective outfits.

Because it's time for all of us to get messy,

for the Messy Messy Mess Test.

Which today is the Gungy Bungy, featuring my Blast Lab Catapults,

originally designed and built by me for airborne cat transportation,

and a complete disaster. However, we've found a better use for them.

Today, we're gonna use them for propelling projectiles

across the Toxic Tank to the Prize Zone beyond,

and that's a clue because that, teams, is what you've got to do.

Get as many of these as you possibly can - Prize Pods -

into the Prize Zone on the other side of the tank.

But this being Blast Lab, there is, of course, a twist.

Each team has one of its members representing them

standing here in the Toxic Tank. Are you OK there? Comfortable?

Good, good! Lab Rat, have you got it yet, by the way?

Not caught it? Yeah!

Late last night I saw a fin and probably some claws,

pincers maybe, a lot of teeth.

Forget it, we've got to get on with the game. Don't worry!

Just don't go beyond this tape.

That's there for your own safety and probably its.

What you have to do is get as many of these Prize Pods

over the tank past these guys,

because you've got two jobs in the tank there,

because one of your jobs is to stop the opposing team's Prize Pods

as they go over the tank, knock them out the tank.

Your other job is to collect your team's Prize Pods if they fall in,

return them to these baskets so they can be fired once again,

try and get them in the Prize Zone.

The winning team is whoever gets the most Prize Pods into that zone,

and you will get to take home all the prizes written on them -

things like Plug & Play electronics, Bionic Helicopter, MP3 player.

Every team member will take those home. The losing team...won't.

Now, Yellows, you are in the lead on points right now,

so you get to start first.

Your points have brought you a five-second advantage, OK?

When you hear the first siren, you start.

Reds, wait until you hear the second siren, then you start.

You have Some Time to get as many Prize Pods across the Toxic Tank

as you can and that Some Time starts...now!

So, it's the Yellows who have the advantage in today's game.

I think that's the highest Prize Pod shot I've ever seen in my life!

It's possibly also the most inaccurate shot

I've ever seen as well, ever!

The Red pods seem to be drawn to the Prize Zone like moths to a flame,

but I can see a number of Yellows as well,

so we have a real match on our hands today!

A perfectly balanced game!

Maybe I spoke too soon -

another crazy sky shot from the Yellows!

The teams showing us the importance of wearing safety helmets today!

Meanwhile, the Reds are keeping up the pressure

with a sustained barrage of pods overhead.

They are a machine!

And the Reds are about to load their final pod.

And there he flies!

And it's bang on target! The Reds are celebrating already!

The Yellows are frantic! Do they have enough Some Time to draw level?

I think we have our answer.

Time's up!

Time is up and I think from the reactions, we can guess the results.

Let's find out which team has won.

How many have the Yellows got? 5 for the Yellow Team.

The Reds, how many have they got?

10 for the Red Team!

That means the Red Team are the winners!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

So Reds, these are the prizes each of you will be taking home with you.

You will each be taking home...

Ready, Nan?

A crystal growing kit.

An X-Twin Jet.

Transforming Robots.

MP3 Player.

A bionic helicopter.

Horrible Science book.

Plug & play electronics.

20 Questions.

Lunar eclipse bedroom light.

And night vision goggles.

Every one of those for you!

In short, everything in the Blast Lab, apart from the Lab Rats,

which I'll be stuck with. Right, Yellows, this is slightly trickier,

because now we find out what you would have been taking home. Sorry!

This is not a contented face, there. I'm sorry!

Never mind! Let's see what you would have been taking home, but aren't!

-OK. You would have been taking home MP3 player...

-Aww!

Yeah, I know!

-Plug and play electronics...

-Aww!

-Yep, yep, yep, yep.

-Night vision goggles...

-Aww!

-Oh, the fun...

-X-Twin Jet...

-Aww!

-20 Questions, yep!

-Aww!

But it's OK, Yellows, because instead of taking them home,

-you're gonna blow them up!

-Whoo!

It's time for Bidet Goes Bang!

OK, well here we are, that strange moment once again.

The Yellow Team are...all right.

The Red Team, by contrast, are really quite happy,

because you cleaned out my Blast Lab.

These are all your prizes - congratulations, well played.

You're taking just about everything

but a couple of Lab Rats and my lab coat.

All of those prizes are yours!

Over here, Yellows, how are we feeling, team?

A bit upset!

Yeah, yeah, well yes, it's never brilliant to lose.

What went wrong in that game?

Well, Katie couldn't reach it, and I didn't pull back far enough.

It's not the easiest of games. I'm really sorry.

-Who's gonna push the plunger?

-All of us!

You're gonna do it together? Share the blame?

I think that's probably best.

Right then, toilets flush, baths gurgle, but bidets go bang!

So, let's see it in action.

It's loaded up with your prizes. Ready?

Lift the plunger then please, girls, into the firing position.

Don't press it until we've counted you down. Are we ready?

Don't look at me like that, Kristy, please! Are we ready?

5...4...3... 2...1!

That's all we've got time for.

We've had a good look at light and colour today -

two things very close to my heart

because when my Lab Rats leave the lights on overnight,

it makes me see red! See you next time!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience.

Not one Lab Rat was harmed during the filming.

it was most like seven... or was it eight?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd