Episode 11 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab


Episode 11

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, I'm Richard.

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Welcome to my top-secret underground laboratory

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where I do all my top-secret science.

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Nice to see you.

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Just one thing, though. I know this is my lab,

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but please don't call me a mad professor.

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It's not fair, cos technically I'm not a professor,

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so you can't say it.

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I should warn you, though, this lab is full

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of some pretty strange sounds and unusual smells...

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not all of them from this lot! But it's lovely to see you.

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Welcome to the lab.

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Very shortly, you'll be meeting two teams

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who think they can push the boundaries of science's envelope,

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to look at them, you'd think they'd have trouble opening an envelope.

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They'll be competing in scientific games

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and attempting to win prizes, so let's see what's in store today.

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Now, the work that goes on in this lab,

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everything that happens here is incredibly important.

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So important, in fact, that I have my own

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round-the-clock, 24-hour SAS protection team.

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Yeah, to look after me. Unfortunately, though,

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one of the SAS guys nicked his thumb on a tin of beans last night.

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It was really sore, so all the other guys have gone round to his house

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to comfort him, so they're not here.

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Instead, though, I've had to enlist the help of someone very special

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to ensure our round-the-clock safety - my nan.

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Don't mess with her, though, because she's a Ninja!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Nan, hello.

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Thanks for standing in.

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I know she may look frail,

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but actually she's a fully-trained Ninja.

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OK, OK, Nan. Calm down. Nan, if you'd like to take your place.

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Nan? NAN! Thank you.

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If you'd like to take your place in the security office, thank you.

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It's best not to move too suddenly. She'll tear you apart.

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Honestly, I once saw her go off for a gentle jog

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and she set off a speed camera. Oh, yeah.

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You should see her house. It's spotless.

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There's no mess, no bugs. She doesn't even use fly spray.

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She's so quick, she catches them with chopsticks, like that. Deadly.

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Oh, yeah. She's nearly there.

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Nan, are you settled in yet?

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Have you taken a seat?

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She's...done it!

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No, no, no! Listen.

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You don't clap a fully-trained Ninja

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just for sitting down on an office chair, all right? She's serious.

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Let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

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Somewhere, there should be some people

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who claim to be the Yellow Team.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, so-called Yellow Team.

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I've got some facts here in my security file

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just to check you out before we let you in the lab.

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Can't let just anybody in here, OK? So identify yourselves, please.

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-I'm Leanna.

-Darcy.

-Daisy.

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Leanna, Darcy and Daisy. Yeah, that checks out.

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It says, "The hidden talent in your team

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is that one of you can do Irish dancing." Who can do that?

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-Me.

-Leanna, you'll have to do that

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to prove that you are who you say you are.

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Well, yeah, I'd say that was Irish dancing.

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I'm no expert but that...

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Was that Irish dancing? Yeah, that was Irish dancing.

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That proves that you're the Yellow Team.

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Come into the lab, please. You're through security.

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Hello, Yellow Team. Lovely to see you all.

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Where are you all from, by the way?

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ALL: Hertfordshire! And we're the Smarty Pants!

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You've given yourselves a name?

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-Yeah.

-Wrong. You're the Yellow Team OK,

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but welcome to the laboratory. Don't touch anything.

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Stay there, because we've got to meet your opponents.

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Somewhere, a bunch of people

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who think they're the Red Team. Where are you?

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The same for you guys. Before I can let you past

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Ninja Nan on security, I've got to check you are who you say you are.

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-What are your names?

-Joe.

-Max.

-And Daniel.

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Joe, Max and Daniel. That checks out. Hidden talent.

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In my security file, it says, Max - if you are Max -

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you can touch your nose with your tongue.

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Go on, then.

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Oh, you can. You did. Give him a round of applause.

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You are the Red Team. Come on in.

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OK, that is you. You are through security.

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Where are you all from?

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-We're from Oxfordshire...

-Nice.

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-..and we're...

-Flash.

-Bang.

-Wallop.

-No, you're not.

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You're the Red Team, and that's final. Welcome to the laboratory.

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Great to have you here. I think it's time to play Round One so,

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teams, take your positions, please.

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And while they do that, I've got a very special assistant to help me.

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He is Oliver.

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We've been across Africa together

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and now he is here with us in the laboratory.

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He's been given a make-over specially for his new job,

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and I've actually fitted him

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with an artificially intelligent computer system.

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Actually, Oliver is very environmentally-friendly.

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He runs on nothing but Girls Aloud CDs,

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making the world a better place for everyone by using them up!

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Now, I've fitted Oliver with a state-of-the-art Fact Nav system

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which contains all the scientific facts in the universe.

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All the facts are absolutely right, apart from all the ones that aren't.

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Thankfully, Oliver's pretty brainy himself

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and knows which ones are right,

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which ones are true and which ones are false.

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But it's up to the teams to decide first

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so, if it's true, teams, Oliver will do this.

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CAR HORN BLARES

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And if it's false, Oliver will let you know by doing this.

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FOG HORN BLARES

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We get the message. Let's get on with the first round, then.

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Are we ready?

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This is your first chance to earn some points, OK?

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Your first chance to earn some points here. Red Team, you go first.

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Your question is this.

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Hawaii is moving towards Japan at 7cm every year.

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Is that true or is that false?

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Talk amongst yourselves, give it some thought.

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Audience, what do we think?

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THEY CHEER

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All these light-flashing signs.

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You think... Nearly everybody... Just one there thinks it's false.

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Why do you think it's false and everyone else doesn't?

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-I don't know.

-You don't know. Right, fine. You made it up.

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Everybody there thinks it's true.

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There's a few there think it's false.

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Red Team, have you conferred?

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-Yep.

-Do you think it's true or false?

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-True.

-Oliver, is it true or false?

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CAR HORN BLARES

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Wey-hey, well done!

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Your first chance to get some points and you got them.

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Well done, guys. Right, Yellow Team, let's move over to you.

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These are you first points at stake.

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Your question is this -

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most diamonds are over three billion years old.

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Is it true or is it false?

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You can confer. Have a chat.

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Audience is straight away thinking...true. Yeah?

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CHEERING

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Couple of falses. Let's find out what the Yellow Team thinks.

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Have you made up your minds?

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-Yes.

-And what did you all agree?

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We think it's true.

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You think that it's true that most diamonds

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are over three billion years old?

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Oliver, is it true or false?

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CAR HORN BLARES

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It's true! Well done, Yellow Team.

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So we've got one point a piece. This, then, is your final question.

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This is different because this one needs an answer.

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Not just true or false.

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Write it down on the pads in front of you,

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and the team that gets nearest to the correct answer

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will win this round,

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because you might find it's difficult to be completely accurate.

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How many parts are there in a Boeing 747-400? That's an aeroplane.

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You're looking vague.

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It's a Boeing 747-400.

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How many parts are there in it?

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OK, if I can ask both teams -

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how many parts are there in a Boeing 747-400?

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Show me your answers, please, Red and Yellow teams. Let's have a look.

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We've got, from the Red Team, 2 million? 2 million parts.

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That would take a lot of building.

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HE LAUGHS

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-Yellow Team.

-Yeah.

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-Have you elected a leader of your team yet?

-Yeah.

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-And which one of you is it?

-Me.

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Yeah. And...are you confident in your team's answer?

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-No, not really.

-128 parts.

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So, that was like wings, wheels...

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Well, the correct answer is...

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6 million.

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You couldn't have been much further out there. I'm terribly sorry.

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So that means, for the Red Team,

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that's another point to you. Well done.

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So...the points now stand at...

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128! What were you thinking?!

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You couldn't build those stairs out of 128 parts!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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That's to come, but now it's time for Mini Science.

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Now, this the round where our contestants must conduct

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a scientific experiment using ordinary household objects.

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And to help me is my old science teacher, Mini Miss!

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I should point out that Mini Miss is 65 years old.

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Looking good for your age, Miss.

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Thank you, Richard.

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I know you're thinking she looks like a ten-year-old.

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That's because she is... NOW.

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You see, I wanted to bring back the teacher I knew as a child,

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so I invented a time machine which was great,

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but unfortunately it didn't work quite as planned,

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and Miss has come back a little younger.

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But you still know what you're talking about, don't you, Miss?

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Of course I do, Richard. I'm a professor in nuclear physics

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and I've been teaching for over 40 years.

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See? So what have you got for us this week?

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Well, today's teams are going to be playing Mug Man,

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and all you need is a plastic beaker, a postcard and some water.

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Mug Man? What do you do with these things?

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Well, place the postcard over the beaker, shiny side down.

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Now, turn the beaker upside down,

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still holding the bottom of it

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-and the postcard flat against the beaker.

-Yes.

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Now, carefully remove your hand from underneath the postcard and,

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hey presto, the postcard should stay put.

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That's not glue, that's just water in there! Yeah!

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CHEERING

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Miss, has that got anything to do with air pressure?

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Correct, Richard. You WERE listening.

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All those years ago, I paid attention.

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That's because - now, let's think about this -

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air is actually heavier stuff than we think it is,

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and it's pushing down.

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It exerts a force in all directions and, in this case,

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when it's upside down against the card like that,

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the air can't put its pressure on top of the card

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because the cup's in the way,

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so the air pressure is actually pushing up on it as well,

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and that's holding it in place.

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-Correct.

-So I was right.

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See, teams. Simple enough. Or is it?

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Can I ask a question, though, Miss?

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-Yes.

-Where did you get that water from?

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From the pipe over there.

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Do you know where that pipe goes?

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Put it this way. I don't know about Mug Man.

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-It maybe should be Wee Male.

-Richard!

-Sorry. Sorry.

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Anyway, once you've assembled your Wee Male, it doesn't stop there,

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you've then got to deliver it, and you have to do that

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across this handy obstacle course that you might have noticed.

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So you set off, carry your Wee Male very carefully

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across the Bridge of Destiny, staying on this side.

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Don't fall in the nuclear tank. It's terrible. Down the stairs.

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Very difficult here.

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If the card falls off, you don't just run straight back.

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You've got to finish the course and then set off back.

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By now, the next team player will be getting theirs

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set up and ready to go. You duck under here, over here.

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This is when I tried to re-invent the bicycle.

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It didn't work. Then the Stepping Stones of Science.

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Pick your own route, but just be quick. That's the main thing.

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Get to the end. This is the tricky bit.

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You take the card off, the water falls in there.

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Keep hold of the beaker.

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You deliver your card, Yellow Team in the yellow post-box,

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Red Team in the red one, obviously.

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Then you've gotta get back, so back through here,

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being careful not to mess up anybody coming the other way,

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over the Bridge of Destiny. Dash, dash, dash, keeping the glass.

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Now it's time for the next person to go, but you don't just set off.

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This is a relay race, so I put my glass down

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and you have to high-five before you leave.

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Well hold your hand up, then, Max.

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There you go. Now you can set off and it's your turn. OK?

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Good luck, teams.

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You've got Some Time to do this. Just SOME time. And it starts...

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Now. Go!

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Both teams carefully taking their Some Time to prepare their Wee Male.

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And the Reds take the early lead,

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while the Yellows take a more tentative approach.

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The Red Team tackle the limbo pole with ease,

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and the Yellows? Ah...

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Red Team going very well there.

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Bit of a disaster for the Yellows, breaking my obstacle course!

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I built that!

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This is where it went wrong last time for Yellow, but they're...

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Oh, it's gone wrong again. That's what happened there.

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OK, they're through, they're through.

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Now the delivery.

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I think we'll allow that for Yellow,

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even though they wrecked my obstacle course!

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Right now, it's 2-1 to the Reds.

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Puts the Reds in front.

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They've wrecked the course again!

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You can see the science helping them across,

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the air pressure holding the card up, pressing it in place.

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There's no glue. It's just air pressure.

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Air actually exerts pressure as it has weight.

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Above our heads are miles of air

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which are pushing down on our heads,

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and the air pressure on your body is...

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Well, it's the equivalent of two elephants sitting on you.

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Luckily, the inside of your body has pressure in it and pushes outwards

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with the same force so you don't get squished.

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Maybe my body doesn't have enough pressure in it.

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That's why I'm short.

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Well done, Yellow.

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That's another one.

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They're beating the Reds.

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Time is up, time is up, time is up.

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Sorry, Yellow, time is up.

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Sorry, Yellow, that's it, time is up.

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Right, it's time for the big toss-up. Let's have a look.

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First of all, the Yellow Team

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successfully delivered three postcards, OK?

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Red Team - now, they're currently ahead

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two points to one for the Yellows,

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so let's see if this equalises it or puts them in the lead.

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We've got one, two, three, four for the Reds!

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Well done, Reds!

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If you think about it, all that we've just seen,

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all that running around on our obstacle course,

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relied on air pressure to hold that postcard on, cos it wasn't glue.

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That was just the air pressure pushing up.

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So air pressure's stronger than perhaps we thought,

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but how much stronger?

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Today, at our top-secret test facility,

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one of my loyal lab rats will perform a breathtaking experiment.

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He's going to crush a can

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using only the pressure of the air that we breathe.

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Take one small metal oil can,

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a gas burner,

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a bottle of water,

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and some matches.

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Now, I know that you would never use matches, but don't worry.

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This lab rat has been specially trained by me.

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Then part-fill the can with water.

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Bring to the boil over a moderate heat,

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remove from the flame,

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fasten the lid and allow to cool for a few moments.

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Bob's your uncle. One crushed can.

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This works because the water vapour from the boiling water

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pushes air out of the can.

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When the lid is replaced and the can cools,

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the water vapour turns back into water,

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leaving a partial vacuum where the air and gas had been.

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This means there's now extremely low pressure inside the can,

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so the higher pressure of the air outside crushes it.

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The experiment worked fine on a flimsy tin can,

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but will the same thing happen to a steel barrel?

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They seem pretty tough.

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We're going to fill one barrel with more water than the other

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to see if it makes any difference.

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Obviously, with my lab rats being both stupid and expendable,

0:18:260:18:30

it's OK for them to do this sort of thing.

0:18:300:18:32

I know you would never do anything as idiotic as this.

0:18:320:18:37

Now we just have to wait for them to cool down.

0:18:440:18:48

OK. Now, I hope everybody's been watching carefully

0:18:480:18:52

because there's an extra point here, Yellow, Red teams.

0:18:520:18:55

Which barrel do you think will crush first,

0:18:550:18:57

or do you think neither will crush?

0:18:570:18:59

So give me your answers, team. Yellows, what do you reckon?

0:18:590:19:02

-The girl will go.

-You reckon the girl's barrel will go first.

0:19:020:19:05

-The man's one.

-There's only one way for us to find out. Let's watch it.

0:19:050:19:10

Let's see.

0:19:100:19:11

A cool, refreshing spray with water should speed up the experiment.

0:19:130:19:17

Or not.

0:19:210:19:23

# So slowly

0:19:230:19:25

# Time goes by

0:19:250:19:27

# So slowly... #

0:19:270:19:29

This isn't working.

0:19:290:19:30

Let's bring out the big guns.

0:19:300:19:33

HE SOBS

0:19:400:19:42

I'm sorry about this.

0:19:430:19:46

Our calculations must have been a bit off.

0:19:460:19:49

You just can't get the staff these days.

0:19:490:19:52

This is getting really boring.

0:19:570:20:01

Let's step it up a gear.

0:20:010:20:03

At last, the professionals are here.

0:20:060:20:09

This should speed it up.

0:20:090:20:11

And just to make sure, a bit of ice.

0:20:200:20:23

Any time now...

0:20:320:20:35

Success! The barrel with more water produced more water vapour.

0:20:480:20:51

This created a greater vacuum,

0:20:510:20:54

allowing the air outside to crush that barrel first.

0:20:540:20:57

Eventually.

0:20:570:20:59

That is an extra point to you, the Red Team,

0:21:050:21:08

so that means we're now 4-1 to the Reds.

0:21:080:21:11

Well done. Guys, we're into the final round now,

0:21:110:21:14

so you need to go off and get changed cos there's

0:21:140:21:17

an outfit required because of where you're going.

0:21:170:21:19

Today's Messy Messy Mess Test is in the nuclear box,

0:21:220:21:25

which is why you needed the protective suits.

0:21:250:21:27

-You all comfortable?

-Yeah.

-I don't really care. Just wondering.

0:21:270:21:31

If you see anything moving in there, don't touch it

0:21:310:21:33

cos they've all got teeth.

0:21:330:21:35

Quite frightening. This is the game.

0:21:350:21:37

Each of these pods contains fabulous prizes like a robo-spider,

0:21:370:21:42

an MP3 player and a toxic mutant

0:21:420:21:44

which will be quite comfortable in there.

0:21:440:21:47

The idea is to move these pods from this end of the box...

0:21:470:21:50

Obviously, you can't use your hands cos they'd melt and drop off,

0:21:500:21:53

so use these tongs instead.

0:21:530:21:54

Pass them from one to another,

0:21:540:21:56

down to the other end, and put them in the baskets.

0:21:560:21:58

-Have you already been swimming in there?

-What?

0:21:580:22:01

There's a lot of it on your head! Get them all in the baskets.

0:22:010:22:04

The team to move the most prizes across the nuclear box

0:22:040:22:07

gets to take them home.

0:22:070:22:08

The losing team has to blow theirs up.

0:22:080:22:11

Red Team, you start first

0:22:110:22:13

because you had the most points at this stage of the game,

0:22:130:22:16

OK? They've earned you a five-second advantage,

0:22:160:22:19

so when you hear the first nuclear alert, you start.

0:22:190:22:22

Yellow Team, you can only begin when you hear the second nuclear alert.

0:22:220:22:26

Don't worry, you will recognise it when you hear it.

0:22:260:22:29

You've got Some Time to get as many prize pods as possible

0:22:290:22:32

across the nuclear box into the baskets.

0:22:320:22:34

You all understand the rules?

0:22:340:22:36

Good, because that time, Red Team, starts...now!

0:22:360:22:39

And the Reds are off,

0:22:390:22:42

seemingly oblivious to the nuclear goo that surrounds them.

0:22:420:22:45

That's the second siren,

0:22:450:22:47

and the Yellows explode into the game like a coiled spring.

0:22:470:22:50

Or perhaps more like a rusty old spring

0:22:500:22:53

that hasn't sprung since it was a lad.

0:22:530:22:56

Unlike the Red Team who've already got a prize pod.

0:22:560:22:59

And a second prize pod for the Red Team! Is there no stopping them?

0:23:070:23:11

I should point out, apart from the quite incredible danger

0:23:180:23:22

of even being in the nuclear box,

0:23:220:23:24

this is not easy.

0:23:240:23:26

The Reds not just seizing the advantage here but taking it,

0:23:290:23:33

making it their own and refusing to give it back.

0:23:330:23:36

The toxic goo seems to have had a strange effect on the Yellows.

0:23:360:23:40

Some Time actually seems to be slowing down

0:23:400:23:42

in their area of the tank.

0:23:420:23:45

They can't even keep hold of their hard hats.

0:23:450:23:48

It's OK. My hands can't melt with the nuclear goo

0:23:520:23:54

because I've had special ones made.

0:23:540:23:56

If that was your hands, they'd just fizz and disappear.

0:23:560:24:00

As the Reds' prize basket bulges ever more,

0:24:020:24:05

the Yellows' solitary prize pod is looking lonely and confused.

0:24:050:24:10

Oh, this is embarrassing now!

0:24:110:24:13

When will Some Time run out and put them out of their misery?

0:24:130:24:16

OK, that's it!

0:24:230:24:25

Both teams, time is up.

0:24:250:24:27

Things getting very tense in the nuclear box there, I noticed.

0:24:270:24:31

It's not an easy game that. Right, let's count up and see who's won.

0:24:310:24:34

I think it's quite clear because, Yellow Team, two.

0:24:340:24:37

Wasn't easy that, was it? Sorry.

0:24:370:24:40

Red Team, well, loads! How many are there in here?

0:24:400:24:42

There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

0:24:420:24:47

Seven pods. Well done, Red Team. You win. Congratulations!

0:24:470:24:50

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:500:24:52

So it's time now to have...

0:24:520:24:54

If you're watching at home, never ever open a prize pod

0:24:540:24:57

from a nuclear box without wearing gloves cos it would melt your hands.

0:24:570:25:01

I've had mine specially made. They're proofed, they don't melt.

0:25:010:25:04

I'm going to open these to see what you've won.

0:25:040:25:07

I'm going to need help, for which I need my specially trained Ninja.

0:25:070:25:11

The wheelbarrow full of prizes.

0:25:110:25:13

Gee, I wish you wouldn't do that quite so near...

0:25:130:25:16

Ninja Nan, finish with the Ninja stuff! Now we're doing the prizes.

0:25:160:25:21

Thank you. Let's see what you've won. First of all,

0:25:210:25:23

there is a Bop It game,

0:25:230:25:25

a mineral dig...

0:25:250:25:26

There's tons of stuff in here.

0:25:260:25:28

You've won toxic mutants,

0:25:280:25:29

several of them.

0:25:290:25:31

Well, you are them now, so you get one each.

0:25:310:25:33

You've won, oh, tons of stuff. Well done, Reds, for winning all that!

0:25:330:25:36

CHEERING

0:25:360:25:39

We'll get all those packed up for you to take home,

0:25:390:25:43

but here's the difference.

0:25:430:25:45

Losers, Yellow Team, I'm sorry.

0:25:450:25:46

Let's have a look at what you would've won.

0:25:460:25:49

You would've been taking home a prize egg, MP3 player,

0:25:490:25:54

that would've been quite nice.

0:25:540:25:55

I'm sorry but, you know, instead of taking them home,

0:25:550:25:58

you're going to get the joy of blowing them up instead.

0:25:580:26:01

It is time for Bidet Goes Bang!

0:26:010:26:03

So, Yellows, how are you feeling?

0:26:110:26:13

-OK.

-Not bad. Reds, can you stop the smugness.

0:26:130:26:17

I can feel it. Just cos you're taking your prizes home

0:26:170:26:20

and you're about to blow yours up. Sorry.

0:26:200:26:22

-MP3 player would've been quite nice, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

0:26:220:26:25

You get to blow it up. Who's going to push the plunger?

0:26:250:26:28

-All of us.

-All of you? Oh, you see, there's team play.

0:26:280:26:31

What went wrong in the game?

0:26:310:26:33

We just couldn't pass it.

0:26:330:26:35

It was quite difficult as it turns out.

0:26:350:26:37

Well, look, your prizes are already in the bidet.

0:26:370:26:39

There's no putting off this moment any longer, so are you ready?

0:26:390:26:43

Well, step forward.

0:26:430:26:44

You have to lift the plunger and don't push it down

0:26:440:26:47

until we've done the countdown, or it'll go bang.

0:26:470:26:50

-Are we ready for the countdown?

-5...4...3...2...1.

0:26:500:26:55

All gone. All gone.

0:26:590:27:00

Well, on today's show, we've learnt a lot about air pressure

0:27:000:27:04

and how it works all around us,

0:27:040:27:05

and we've done that by crushing some big barrels and running around

0:27:050:27:09

with upside-down cups of wee.

0:27:090:27:10

Don't try that at home, though, any of this. See you next time!

0:27:100:27:14

Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience,

0:27:190:27:23

which is more than I can say for my lab rats.

0:27:230:27:27

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:360:27:39

E-mail [email protected]

0:27:390:27:42

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