Episode 10 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank for that. Shut the gate, shut the gate.

You know they brought dinosaurs back from extinction in Jurassic Park?

Well, I just did the same with the dodo,

and boy, those critters are not as friendly as you would've thought.

MENACING GROWLS

OK, that wasn't one of my best ideas.

Welcome again to my Blast Lab.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you. This is where I perform all my top secret experiments,

so secret, in fact, that the only people who know about them

are you, the lab rats, Ninja Nan, all these guys behind me,

two teams of contestants who join me today to compete for great prizes,

the postman, my mum and the pizza delivery guy.

Actually, it's not really that secret at all, is it?

Anyway, coming up, we have more facts

than you could possibly fit in his boot, my good friend, Oliver.

In Mini Science, our teams will try to bounce their way to victory.

Meanwhile, our lab rats will be assaulting science head-on with...

Well, with salt, and I do mean lots of salt.

They're ill, they need some pills

and they'll make you squeal, they are my Snot Bots.

AUDIENCE: Eurgh!

Now my super secret lab needs a super strong security guard.

By night she's a Ninja, but by day...

well, she's asleep because she gets tired staying up all night.

She is, of course, my Ninja Nan.

Let's have a look at what she's up to over in the Ninja Nannex today.

Oh, no, hang on, one of our lab rats is about to steal one of her sweets.

I wouldn't do that if I was him.

Yeah, ooh! Yeah, he never ever learns.

Right, let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

Hello, so you reckon you're the Red Team

and you want to come into the Blast Lab?

OK, well you'll have to prove it, identify yourselves by name.

-Shona.

-Esme.

-Plum.

Shona, Esme, Plum, yes, I've got that written down

on the security file here.

Talent, Esme, I've got written down. What can you do?

I can touch my head with my foot.

That's what I've got written down here. Well, go on then.

Oh, wow... Hang on... Wow!

You did! OK, fair enough, come on in.

Obviously, girls, I could touch the side of my head with my foot,

but I choose not to.

Welcome to Blast Lab, but you're not entirely cleared through security.

One final check,

we agreed a security password with the real Red Team.

-You'd know it if you are them, what d'you think it is?

-Tree.

That's what I've got written down here.

It's a nice word, I like trees.

Is there any reason why you went for that as your password?

Me, Esme and Shona got stuck up a tree one time,

when we noticed it was smaller than us.

You climbed a tree that was smaller than you?

OK, OK, and you got stuck in a tree that was smaller than you?

OK, there's no trees in here to climb.

You are the Red Team, that's a good thing.

Go and get ready for the first round.

They are the Red Team.

Officially through security.

Right, let's meet the bunch of people

claiming to be their opposition, the Yellow Team.

Hello. So, you're the Yellow Team, are you?

You'll have to prove it. Identify yourselves by name,

the three of you.

-Daniel.

-Lewis.

-Emma.

Daniel, Lewis and Emma, OK, I've got that down here.

What will you do as a talent

to demonstrate you are the right Yellow Team?

-A magic trick.

-Daniel, it does have your name and "magic trick"

written down here. What are you going to do? Show me.

That's your hand in your pocket. Oh, hang on, what's that?

Is that a coin in your hand, there?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, OK, right.

Oh, you've put it in your mouth... This is...

Oh, don't try this at home. Wow!

OK, fair enough, that was some decent magic, come on in.

Hello, Yellow Team, you are through this far. But one final check...

We did agree a password with the real Yellow Team.

If you are them you'd know what it is.

-What d'you think it is?

-Maddie.

-Maddie.

That's what I've got written down here. Why?

Is that somebody's name? Daniel, Lewis and Emma?

Why Maddie?

It's because our auntie's dog,

Maxie always has a "maddie" when we go round to see my auntie.

No way! What's a maddie?

It's when he goes... He gets really excited and he goes a bit mad.

Does he, really?

OK, nobody but the real Yellow Team could have known that.

You're the Yellow Team, go and get ready for the first round.

We have our teams.

We need one more thing. He has a well-rounded knowledge of the world,

and slightly less well-rounded tyres. He is, of course, Oliver.

Young Oliver, there you go, he's docked, let's just connect him up.

OK, good stuff, Fact Nav is on.

Now I do like to keep up to date,

so when I heard there was an upgrade to Fact Nav 2.0 for Oliver,

I had to have it straight away.

So I went online and downloaded it, and it is brilliant,

millions and millions more bonkers and fascinating facts.

One slight issue, there was a power cut halfway through

the download, so quite a lot of them now aren't quite right.

So teams, that's where you come in, cos I need

you to tell me if the science facts I give you are true or false.

If they turn out to be true, Oliver will let us know by doing this.

HORN TOOTS

And if they are false, Oliver will do this.

HORN HONKS

OK, so here's how we play the game.

Both teams have three lights, currently lit red.

When you answer a question correctly, one will go green.

The first team to get all three lights lit green wins the round

they win a point and we move on. Simple.

Just one extra slightly cruel addition in that if you answer

a question correctly, either team, you get your light lit green.

If you get it wrong, we light one of their lights green,

so it's possible you could win the game for them,

or the other way round.

So concentrate, think very hard before you answer a question.

The first question is to sort out who gets the first light lit green

and who takes control of the game.

So this is important, this is a nearest to question.

On Earth it takes one year to complete an orbit,

a lap around the sun.

In Earth years,

how long does it take Pluto to complete an orbit around the sun?

Have a think, have a chat.

Write an answer down, please, Yellows.

In years, an answer in years.

Time's up.

Reds, what've you got?

How many years do you think it takes Pluto to get around the sun?

You think 20 years to do one lap, 20 years. OK.

Yellows, what do you think? Let's look at your answer.

362 years, you think it takes Pluto to do one orbit of the sun.

All right, well, it takes Pluto,

in actual fact,

247.92 Earth years, which means the Yellows are the winners there.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Sorry, Reds.

It takes Pluto much longer,

because it's about 40 times further away from the sun than us.

OK, that means green light lit for the Yellows, you seize control

of the game straight away, you get the first true or false question.

Bike reflectors sparkle in the same way as diamonds.

Is that true or false? Have a chat before you answer.

In the meantime, audience, let's see what you think,

vote with your feet, is it true or false?

I love it when this happens.

We've split the audience in two, clean down the middle.

-You think they do sparkle in the same way as diamonds?

-Yeah.

Yeah? Any idea why?

Cos it's a type of metal, so it might shine the way of diamonds,

cos it's a type of stone.

It could be what it's made of, couldn't it? You think not?

-No.

-Any theories on that? Is it a guess, or...?

-It's a different shape.

-True, they are.

-They're circular and they're, like, flat.

-Overall, that's true.

OK, audience, back to your places.

Yellows, your science fact then,

bike reflectors sparkle in the same way as diamonds.

-Is that true or false, do you think?

-True.

-True.

You think it's true.

Oliver, bike reflectors sparkle in the same way as diamonds.

Is that true or false?

-HORN TOOTS

-It's true, well done, Yellows!

So, with two lights lit green you're in a good shape, well done!

Reds, here comes your first true or false question.

The small intestines of a human

measure two metres long. Is that true or false?

Have a chat, you never know, you might've picked up some...

Any theory you've got before you answer. Think.

The small intestines of a human measure two metres long.

-True or false, d'you think?

-False.

-False.

You think it's false. That's what you think.

Oliver, is that true or false?

-HORN HONKS

-False, well done!

That's a green light lit for you, you're still in.

The average small intestine is actually six metres long,

although it's kind of coiled up on itself,

so it can fit neatly inside our body, or we'd be long and thin.

It's now the Yellows' turn to feel the pressure.

Get this one right, you win.

Get it wrong, it's a draw and they can win on the next question.

Here is your science fact.

The largest organ in the human body is the brain.

The largest organ in the human body is the brain.

Is that true or is that false? Have a little chat and a think

whilst we find out what the audience reckons, is it true or false?

Vote with your feet, let's see.

Ooh, the audience definitely thinking false here,

apart from a few. You think that's true.

I think someone could have a really big head and really thin body, so...

-Yes.

-It could be possible.

So it is possible, OK, OK.

Over here we think not, though.

Well, I think the lungs are the biggest.

OK. Ooh, there's some theories going on here. Do you disagree?

-No, I agree with the lungs.

-You think lungs as well?

-Yeah.

-OK, audience, back to your places.

I think we've got a lab full of doctors going on today.

So, the largest organ in the human body is the brain.

Is that true or false, d'you think?

-True.

-You think it's true.

The largest organ in the human body is the brain.

Oliver, is that true or false?

-HORN HONKS

-It's false.

I'm sorry, Yellows, that means a light lit for the Red Team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So it's not the brain. In fact, the largest human organ is the skin.

OK, here comes your true or false question.

A goldfish has a memory of three seconds.

Is that true or false?

Have a chat, have a think.

A goldfish has a memory of three seconds.

Is the science fact I'm giving you, is it true or false?

-False.

-You think false.

Oliver, they think it's false.

A goldfish has a memory of three seconds. Is it true, or is it false?

HORN HONKS

It is false, which means three lights are lit for the Reds,

-well done, the girls win.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right down to the wire.

Scientists think goldfish may have a memory of at least three months.

They can also spot the differences between shapes, sounds and colours,

so they're more intelligent than my lab rats, and that's official!

That means the third light has been lit green for the Reds,

the Reds win this first round and they win the point.

It's one - nil to the Reds.

"Time travel is impossible,"

they said. "You're messing with things you don't understand,"

they said. "That's not how to use a soldering iron," they said.

"I don't think it's supposed to look like that,"

is something else they said quite a lot, but my time machine did work...

sort of. I used it to bring my science teacher back through time

to the Blast Lab, and it did...

It's just she came back as a ten-year-old girl.

I am, of course, talking about Mini Miss.

-Hello, Miss.

-I do wish you'd stuck to badminton, Richard.

You were terrible at that too,

but at least it's difficult to do any damage with badminton.

Sorry, Miss, sorry, Miss. So what are we doing today, Miss?

Well, today we're going to be learning about energy transfer

and elasticity in a game I like to call...

Wow! So that's what these are about, these bouncy balls. Ha ha ha!

Ooh, I might've hit something over there, Miss, sorry! I... Ooh...

Please don't do that, Richard.

Yeah, Miss, sorry, Miss.

The aim of today's experiment is to get as many bouncy footballs

into these collecting cylinders as possible.

I see, so they get the balls and they have to go in there, like...

Oh, I missed, oh, I'm sorry.

-CRASH

-Oh, I've hit another one.

I've hit another one.

-Nothing's safe with you, is it, Richard?

-Not really, Miss, no.

The team with the most balls in their cylinders wins.

But, the balls have to bounce at least once, or else it doesn't count.

Oh, they have to bounce them in, so it's gotta go like tha... Oh.

No more bouncy balls for you, Richard.

Probably right, Miss, probably right.

OK, well I think I understand the rules. Just a few points.

Only balls still in the cylinder at the end that will count,

whatever the colour. So, Reds, if you accidentally

get one in here, that counts towards the Yellows' total.

Does everybody understand?

OK, teams, you have some time to get as many balls bouncing

into these containers, and they must bounce, we will be watching.

If they're thrown directly, they don't count.

That some time starts... Oh, roughly...

Er...no, exactly now!

OK, let's get bouncing. And one straight in for the Yellows.

Reds still getting their eye in.

Ooh, look at that, a red ball has landed in the yellow tube,

that'll be counted as a score for the Yellows.

Still no joy for the Reds.

But the Yellows get their third.

It's not looking good for the Reds at all.

And another one for the Yellows.

The Yellows now up to five balls.

The balls are bouncing, yeah, yeah, that's what they're doing,

because the molecules inside them act a bit like a spring, like this.

Thank you. That's what happens, a spring.

When the balls land, they squash a little tiny bit

and they want to return to their original shape, so they spring up.

That means they push down,

then we bring in the law of a certain Sir Isaac Newton...

# Hallelujah! #

..Blast Lab's all-time hero,

who dictates that for every push in one direction

there's an equal and opposite push in the other.

So if it's pushing that way,

it's also pushing that way, and it goes up.

I'm going to hide, it would be best.

Finally Reds are off the mark, and another.

It could be too little too late, or maybe not,

as no-one knows when "some time" could be up.

However, I think the Yellows look to have done enough already.

AUDIENCE: Three, two, one...

OK. Time is up.

Right, let's have the big add up.

For the Yellow Team, how many do we have?

Six. Did they all bounce in? So that's six for the Yellows.

For the Reds, what've we got?

Two. Oh, dear, did they all bounce in?

So they all count, but it's not enough cos that means

that the Yellows win and that takes the score to one all.

OK, all this excitement has made me hungry.

Lab rats, chips, please, where are my chips?

Ah, thank you very much. Where's the salt?

I need salt on these. Go on, go away, go and get some salt.

Thank you. Tell you what else I fancy, an experiment...

with a lot of salt, as well, while we're at it.

In fact, tons of it.

Meet intrepid explorer, Ferdinand Magellan.

He's travelled the globe in search of adventure and riches,

but all he brought back was a tropical disease

which has led to him growing a pair of wings.

Stuck-on fairy-wingy-itis. Nasty!

The only cure - a swim in the Dead Sea.

Its high salt content will wash away this winged curse.

Unfortunately, he's broke, so he can't travel there himself.

His only hope is to recreate the Dead Sea conditions

here in this swimming pool.

To aid Ferdinand in his quest to find a cure,

he's turned to his trusty sidekick, McQuack.

McQuack has been filled with just enough sand to make him sink in

fresh water, but, if we add enough salt, the duck will float once more.

Hang on a second, that doesn't sound right. I think we need an animation.

For an object to float on a liquid, the liquid must be more dense than

the whole of the object and the air contained within it.

In normal water, its particles are spread out, so it's not that dense.

At first, the water is less dense than McQuack, which is why he sinks.

But if we add salt, the water increases in density, eventually

becoming more dense than McQuack, so he can now rise to the surface.

But our experiment relies on the salt actually dissolving

into the water, and also on the duck being watertight.

So will the salty plan work and make McQuack rise to the surface?

Hold the experiment right there! There is another point up for grabs,

It goes the team who can tell me...

will it work? Now, bearing in mind there are some lab rats involved,

will McQuack rise to the surface or stay at the bottom of the pool

when the salt is added?

Have a chat, have a think, teams.

Reds, what d'you think? Will it or won't it work?

-ALL: We think it'll float.

-You think it will. Yellows?

We think it'll float too.

Both teams think it's going to work.

That's quite touching that both teams have come here to my Blast Lab

and had enough faith in my lab rats to think they'll get it right.

Maybe they will.

Only one way to find out... carry on with the experiment.

Ferdinand Magellan has travelled the world

and come back with a strange tropical disease.

Only a dunk in water salty enough to make his duck float will cure him.

Yeah, I know, long story, had to be there.

But will we be able to add enough salt to make the duck float?

Let's find out.

Ok, so we're going to add salt to the swimming pool bag by bag.

Here we go. Bag number one.

Nope, no change yet.

Ok, that's two.

This could take a while.

where's the remote control, we've got no time for this.

OK...

Right, here we go, much better, 46 bags now, things are looking good.

Hang on a minute, it's slowed down, what's going on? Yeah, very helpful.

They've been at it for hours now,

bag after bag. Surely soon we'll see the results of their hard work.

I mean all they're asking was for a duck to float in water.

Bag after bag after bag has been emptied into the pool.

This should've been enough,

but there's no movement in the water and no sign of McQuack.

The stillness of the water says it all, a combination of not stirring

their salt solution properly and McQuack taking on water has led to this...

Abject failure. Perhaps predictably, it didn't work,

that means no points to either team, I'm sorry.

The lab rats let us down there, not the science,

because it might've stood a chance

if the lab rats had remembered to stir the salt

and dissolve it all into the water to make the salt solution.

However, they didn't.

They also left a hole in the duck so it filled with water,

and became even heavier,

so it was even harder than if they'd done it right in the first place.

That means the score remains the same - one all to Yellows and Reds.

It is now time for...

Oh, yeah. Starring, my Snot Bots.

Yeah, one of my most magnificent creations.

The plan, of course,

is for them one day to replace all of my lab rats.

They're brilliant, they have artificial human intelligence...

very human. As a result, they have now started taking on

human characteristics like dancing badly at weddings,

over-sleeping, and they've all caught colds, hence...the snot.

Yuck! There is a cure.

We have special medicinal discs, they're hidden in the septic tank.

All you teams have to do is feed them those discs

and you will cure them of their colds.

Those discs also represent prizes.

Today they include a heart rate monitor,

a radio-controlled spider and a scooter.

Teams, whichever one of you, Reds, Yellows, gets the most prize discs

into the Snot Bot will win the prizes written on those discs!

What happens to the other team we won't talk about right now,

but they won't be taking their prizes home.

Just a couple of notes, you will see, as well as the prize discs,

in there, there are these, red and yellow herrings.

Get one of these into the Snot Bot by accident,

you will lose a prize disc.

That means you could lose the whole game, so be careful.

Good luck, teams, there's no head start cos it is a draw.

Both teams have some time to get as many prize discs into their waiting

Snot Bot as they possible can, and that some time's going to start...

Ooh, I'd say...let's think...

Now!

Away we go with both teams trudging through terrible robot snot.

Unfortunately the bots are suffering from a particularly bad cold,

so the snot is... Well, very thick.

However, the Reds have got a disc and in it goes.

Both teams now shoulder-deep in the green stuff.

Another disc for the Reds but, ooh no, one's missed the robot's mouth.

But it looks like Plum is going to get another chance.

Taking her time, this time no mistakes, there you go.

Yellows not having an easy time of foraging in the snot.

Come on!

But no such trouble for the Reds with their third going in.

The Yellows have to hurry if they want to avoid having the honour

of being the first team on Blast Lab not to score at all

in a Messy Messy Mess Test.

AUDIENCE: Four, three, two, one...

I think the... Yeah, the bot snot is particularly thick today,

it's not nice in there.

Let's see the scores and find out who's won.

How many do we have for the Red Team? Let's have a look.

Three prize discs for the Reds. For the Yellows, what've we got?

None, no prizes, that means it is a win for the Reds.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's find out what you've won.

Ninja Nan, are you ready? Yoyo, for each of you, you've won already.

A scooter for each of you.

A puzzle cube.

Now, Yellows, normally at this point we get the pleasure,

you have the misery of us looking through what you would've won.

This time we're not going to do that, but don't worry,

we'll come up with something,

because it is time for Bidet Goes Bang.

Reds... Wow!

What a haul of prizes, well done, Reds.

All of that coming home with you, well played from the beginning.

Good work. Over here, it's slightly more... Yellows...

Hi, didn't go well for you, that last game, did it?

The difficult thing is, cos you didn't get any prize discs,

no prizes to blow up.

We won't let a little thing like that beat us on Blast Lab.

Come here, lab rat, please, because what we do,

if you win no prizes, we give you a goody bag full of wonderful things.

There's a Blast Lab pen and ruler, here you go, hold those for me,

please, and you get...

There's an old pair of pants here, you get that, there's...

Oh, there's just wonder... Look... look at that, a slipper,

You actually get a slipper and half a banana. I know.

Obviously that gives us the opportunity to blow it up.

Put it all back in, lab rat, take it away,

because it's time for the walk of shame.

Come with me, chaps.

-Aah!

-I know, it's sad. Yep.

The one thing they had, the one thing they could take,

Yeah, yup, yup, yup, yup...

Here it is, the plunger.

Yeah.

So, we've found something to give you, and then blow up.

If you'd like to lift the plunger, please, Yellows.

If we're ready, audience, let's count 'em down from five.

-Five, four, three, two, one.

-Five, four, three, two, one.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Great. That feels good, for me! Maybe not for you.

OK. We've spent a lot of time looking at food today,

and I'm off now to spend a bit more time looking at it before eating it.

Lab rats, where's my dinner?

Until next time...goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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