Episode 9 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Nobody move, nobody move.

That pterodactyl I cloned does its droppings in here.

I will catch them, don't worry.

Do you know what? I haven't got time for this, you take it.

There you go, you take over, just catch them when they fall.

AUDIENCE: Ewww!

It's probably good for his hair.

Anyway, I'm Richard Hammond, welcome to my Blast Lab!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This is, of course,

the most secretive science laboratory in the whole world.

Well, except for you watching and all of these people here, obviously.

And all of them over there, yeah.

And my mum and dad over there, yeah.

That really is my mum and dad.

Joining me shortly are two groups of young Einsteins

who will battle it out for some great prizes by doing experiments

and learning all about science along the way.

Coming up, Fact Nav 2.0 with Oliver.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Awkward!

He's not here.

Maybe broken down on the way in,

fingers crossed he'll make it in time.

In Mini Science, Mini Miss shows the teams how to make hovercrafts

with the help of a very special guest.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We shall see a giant nut versus a flying squirrel

in one of the most bizarre races ever recorded.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And this week's Messy, Messy, Mess Test

is the one and only, back by popular demand -

well, popular with everyone who isn't actually playing it -

it is the Bridge Of Destiny.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, most hi-tech, top-secret laboratories

are protected by extremely modern security systems.

My security is over 70 years old, and it's the best of the lot.

It is Ninja Nan!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

No sudden movements in the lab today,

because Ninja Nan is surrounded by her crack team of OANs,

old-age ninjas, and it looks like they're playing cards.

Nan always wins, probably because of her X-ray vision.

Let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, so this is all very nice and happy so far,

but you say you're the Red Team, you could be anybody.

Identify yourselves by name.

-Gemma!

-Katie!

-Jessica!

Gemma, Katie, Jessica... Yes, that's what I've got written down here!

Under talent, Gemma, I've got your name.

How are you going to prove you are you?

-I'm going to do some karate.

-That's what it says here.

We'll have to hope Ninja Nan doesn't notice.

Go, go, go!

OK.

OK, fair enough, that'll do, come on into the lab, come on into the lab!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, Reds, hello. Hello.

You're through this far,

but you're not all the way through security yet.

We have to be careful round here,

all sorts of people want to get in.

We've got to make sure you are genuine.

We agreed a password with the real Red Team.

You should know what that password is. What do you think it is?

ALL: Mirror.

That's what I've got down here, yeah, mirror it is. Why mirror?

Because when we were in Lanzarote on holiday once,

there was some public toilets with a full-length mirror at the end.

I walked straight into it, thinking it was more toilets.

-You walked into the mirror?

-Yeah.

-You'll have felt a bit of an idiot.

-Pretty much.

OK, well, Reds, go and get settled in, ready for the first round.

Away you go, they are the Red Team.

CHEERING

We have a Red Team! Good, so that's one team.

Now we need another, we need a Yellow Team.

Let's meet the three people who say it's them.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, well, you look like the Yellow Team, but we can't be too sure.

For security purposes, you must identify yourselves by name.

You are...

-Sean!

-Kelin!

-Kai!

Sean, Kelin, Kai, yeah, that's what I've got down here.

Kelin, I have your name next to talent, what are you going to do?

I'm going to do a magic trick.

Go on, we'll be the judge of that.

-I have one coin in this hand.

-Yes.

-And I have one coin in that hand.

-So you have.

-And when I turn my hands over like this.

-Yes...

There are no coins in that hand, and there are two coins in that hand.

Look at that, that's useful, probably!

That's magic, come into the lab.

CHEERING

Over here, please, you're cleared through that far,

no further, Ninja Nan's watching.

She's watching, you're not quite through security yet,

just one further test.

If you are the real Yellow Team, you would know the password

that we agreed with the real Yellow Team. What do you think it is?

-ALL: Window.

-Window it is, that's what it says. Why?

Once, when I was on my school bus,

I accidentally smashed the window trying to swat a fly.

Whoa, whoa, hang on, you did what?

I accidentally smashed a window.

-With your hand?

-With my bag.

Wow! I'm presuming there was quite a lot of trouble after that?

-Yeah.

-A lot of shouting?

-Yeah.

-Learnt your lesson?

-Yeah.

-Best not! OK, fair enough.

Yellows, go and get settled in,

ready for the first game. We have our two teams!

CHEERING

Now I'd like you to meet a car that's so incredibly clever,

he's classed as a genius

and totally exempt from road tax and parking tickets.

Well, at least that's what I tell the traffic wardens.

I'm hoping he's made it, it is my good friend Oliver.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-HORN TOOTS

-Ah! Finally!

Finally, he's here, he's made it. Let's hook him up to the system.

There we go, all connected in, good grief!

What happened, alternator again?

-HONKS

-Oh, fan belt?

-HONKS

-Flat battery?

-HONKS

-Well, what was it then?

-HORN TOOTS

-Oh, you pressed snooze on your alarm! Easy mistake to make.

Anyway, now that you're here,

I should explain Oliver has a brand new Fact Nav 2.0 system.

It was a DIY installation,

which in my case stands for "damage it yourself",

because now it doesn't seem to quite work.

Some of the facts are incorrect, and that means it's up to our teams

to tell me if the facts I give you are true or false. Simple as that.

If they are true, Oliver will let us know by doing this.

SIRENS WAIL

If they're false, he'll do this.

HORN HONKS

Here's how we play. Each team has three red lights,

every time you answer a question correctly,

I'll light one of your lights green.

First to three green lights wins, takes the point and we move on.

If you answer a question incorrectly,

we will light one of the other team's lights green.

It means you could win for the Yellows,

you could win for the Reds.

Think before you answer. Everybody understand what to do?

-Yes.

-Good.

The question to start us off is a "nearest to" answer.

I'll give the green light to the team nearest the real answer.

Here it is.

In total, how many people have walked on the moon?

In total, how many people have walked on the moon?

Time's up.

-Reds, you go first, what have you got?

-Seven.

Seven, according to the Reds.

-11.

-11, according to the Yellows.

The actual answer is...

-12, which means the Yellows are very nearly bang on, well done!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done, Yellows. Sorry, Reds, you were closer than I expected.

Right, so that's one light lit green for the Yellows.

You take control as you get the first true or false question.

Here it comes.

Around 70% of the human body is water.

Around 70% of the human body is water.

I'm talking about humans, lab rats are slightly different.

Let's just sample one of these. Could I have that? Thank you.

Slightly different with lab rats. let me just have a listen.

RUSHING WATER

Oh, yeah. About 99% water, I reckon, him. Yeah.

PLOPPING

OK, let's have a look at this one.

DRIPPING

Not a lot going on in there at all.

OK, but that's in the case of lab rats, we're talking humans here.

Around 70% of the human body is water.

Is that true or false?

-True.

-You think it's true? Oliver, is it true or false?

SIREN

It's true. Well done, Yellows, well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's the second green light for the Yellow Team.

Right, Reds, I don't like to put it this way,

but you're under pressure now, girls.

Fingers crossed for you. Here comes your science fact.

Each year, the Earth moves closer towards the sun.

Is that true or false? Each year, the Earth moves closer to the sun.

I need you to tell me if it's true or false.

-False.

-False.

-You think it's false?

Oliver, is it true or false?

HORN

It's false, well done, Reds.

That's a green light for you. You're still in it.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Don't know about you, I'm exhausted from that.

Yellows, I'm not going to mess about, here comes your science fact.

Sharks can see in the dark better than cats.

Is that true or false?

Sharks can see in the dark better than cats, is that true or false?

-We think it's true.

-You think it's true.

Oliver, put us out of our misery, please.

-the Yellows think it's true?

-True.

Is it true or false?

-SIREN

-It is true. That's the third light lit green for the Yellows.

Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Sharks, in fact, are amazing when it comes to senses.

They have a highly developed sense of taste and amazing hearing.

They can also smell 10,000 times better than human beings,

which could be both good and, if you think about it,

in some circumstances -

hanging around with my lab rats, for instance - quite bad.

All of which means that the Yellows get the third light lit green,

the Yellows win. The score is 1-0 to the Yellows.

CHEERING

CHEERING

To help with Mini Science, I decided to build a time machine

to transport my old science teacher through time to the lab to help me.

And it worked, but with just one tincey, wincey, teeny, weeny

side effect - she looks 50 years younger.

She is, of course, Mini Miss.

CHEERING

Hi, Miss. You know, I thought you'd be more pleased

at looking that much younger.

Pleased? Do you know how difficult it is at parents' evening

when you look like a ten-year-old?

Yeah, good point. Sorry, Miss. Sorry, do apologise.

Oh...

-Miss...

-Yes, Richard?

Miss?

Who is that over there making a lot of noise

who looks a bit like Ninja Nan?

That IS Ninja Nan.

-Sorry?

-That IS Ninja Nan!

At night she becomes the hip-hop superstar that is Nanye West.

Right. I thought she spent her evenings playing bingo with you.

I wouldn't know, Richard,

they won't let me in now they think I'm a ten-year-old.

Yeah, good point. I've said I'm sorry.

All right, enough of the racket! Nan!

Nan! Thank you.

OK. Thank you, Nanye.

Anyway, what will our teams be facing in Mini Science today?

Our teams will be testing out friction in a game I like to call...

DEEP VOICE

Don't know how she does that, I still don't know.

And they're going to be investigating this using balloons.

Yes, by attaching them to some of Ninja Nan's records.

Are you sure she'll be happy with this,

because they're her records and she is still a ninja, you know?

Stop being such a scaredy-cat, Richard.

This is what our teams have to do.

The teams must attach these balloons to these bottle caps

which are fixed onto Ninja Nan's records to make record skaters.

They then have to propel them down the hover lane,

and the further they get, the more points they win.

Each team must build three record skaters

and the team with the highest total score after the three rounds

-wins the game.

-Right. You have some time

to actually build your record skaters.

Mini Miss is going to help you. I'll leave you to it, OK?

This is all about overcoming friction,

because, when the record's lying flat, there's a large amount of it

in contact with the ground. That means a lot of friction

so the record won't slide. What the bottle cap does -

you feed it into the little holes - when you lift it,

the air that's pushed out goes through the cap,

underneath the record and lifts it.

That means there's much less friction, so it can travel further.

It does that because, as the air's being squeezed out of the balloon,

it's going that way. Then the third law of Sir Isaac Newton...

# Hallelujah. #

..our all-time hero, dictates that, if there's a push that way,

there'll be a push that way, so it lifts the record.

Of course, in this game, the teams don't want to push too hard

because, with less friction,

the records could go down the hover lane

and slide off the end.

Then they get no points.

So there's a bit of skill and judgement here.

Right. Both teams have assembled

their three record skaters, ready to go.

Yellows, the score right now is 1-0.

You won Fact Nav, you get to choose. First or second?

-ALL: Second.

-OK. Reds, that means you're first. Are you ready?

OK, remember to release the bottle cap to release the air

and set your record hovering and then judge it. It's hovering.

Good luck. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, wow!

Oh, please stop!

AUDIENCE: Ohhh!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

So close for the Reds, but the friction couldn't stop it at all,

with the record sliding off the end of the track and onto the floor.

That's zero points for the Reds.

Now it's round one for the Yellows.

Good luck, Sean.

OK. He's setting his record skater hovering, he's ready.

Oh, yes, it's hovering.

Well, a very gentle push indeed. Oh, yeah.

Talk about the opposite extreme from the Yellows,

with the friction now stopping the record almost immediately.

That's zero for the Yellows.

OK, setting it hovering.

Oh, it's a good push.

Will it make it? Will it make it?

Oh, oh, still going.

AUDIENCE: Ohhh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

There you go. Well done, Reds.

That's three points for the Reds.

Yellows, you're under pressure.

Here we go.

Setting it operating.

Under a lot of pressure.

That's a good positive shove.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Look, oh, ohh.

I'd say that's staying. Well done!

Well played.

Two points for the Yellows.

3-2 to the Reds as the Reds step up to take their final shot

at this, their final skate.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I... Oh...

AUDIENCE: Ohhh!

-OK.

-CHEERING

A good effort there by Katie,

but unfortunately the record didn't travel very far.

Will it be enough to beat the Yellows?

That's one point for the Reds.

Bringing the score to 4-2 to the Reds.

The Yellows have got to get three to win.

That's quite a way down the hover lane, that's quite risky.

Good luck, good luck.

-Right.

-Go on, Kai.

There's some support for you down here, Yellows,

a few members of the audience.

Oh, he's away. Oh, a good...

Oh, oh, oh, I can't stand... Oh, oh, oh. Oh, no!

Kai's attempt started well, but there wasn't enough air

pushing down to overcome the friction on our hover lane.

That's two points for the Yellows.

CHEERING

All of which means it's a draw between Reds and Yellows.

That's one point each.

CHEERING

So the scores now sitting at 2-1 to the Yellows.

Well done, both teams.

If there's one thing a lab rat hates more than fresh air,

it's strenuous exercise, so, of course,

I've tricked one into doing both of those things at once.

Karen Oakey was raised by a family of acorns, as an acorn,

and has always believed that she was, in fact, an acorn.

But it was only when she fell from the tree and climbed back up

that she began to realise she wasn't the same as the other acorns.

With nowhere to live, she said goodbye to her family,

perhaps for the last time.

She walked alone for hours and hours -

well, a couple of minutes - before spotting the answer to her prayers -

a new home.

Well, a shed in a field, which I suppose you could kind of live in.

"What's this got to do with science?", you ask.

Not a lot, really.

But what if you find a couple of flying human squirrels

to race the human acorn to her new home?

For science reasons, of course.

Meet the flying squirrels...

or skydiving men who've drawn the inspiration for their suits

from their namesakes in nature.

They've heard there's a giant nut wandering around the fields

and they are looking for dinner.

But how do their suits work

and how are they going to race with our human acorn?

I think I know an animation who can help.

Our flying squirrels have suits that create a little upwards lift

as they fly through the air.

This makes their fall more controlled,

meaning they can move sideways as well as down.

They also have parachutes, so they can slow their fall enough

not to get hurt when they hit the ground.

In this race, our slow-moving acorn

will start from 800m away from the shed, whereas our flying squirrels

will start from 4km away, as well as 4km up.

But will the flying squirrels catch the acorn?

So there we have it, one acorn's race for a new home,

versus a pair of flying squirrels' race for a meal.

But who will win?

OK, hold the experiment right there because there's another point

up for grabs here. The score right now 2-1.

This point will go to the team that can tell me most accurately

will the giant nut make it to the safety of the shed

before the hungry flying squirrels catch her?

Simple enough. You've seen what's happening.

The nut's 800m away from the shed,

the flying squirrels are 4km away and 4km up.

They can travel faster, but they've got much further to go.

Remember, they're 4km up,

so they'll be using gravity but also the resistance

of the air, but the suit lets them glide.

They'll open the parachutes, too.

Now you know what's happening, what do you think? Reds, you first.

-Will the nut make it before the squirrels get her?

-ALL: No.

-You think not?

-ALL: No.

-Yellows, what do you think?

-ALL: No.

-You think not as well.

So both teams thinking the same thing on this one.

OK. Well, let's find out if she does. On with the experiment.

So it all comes down to this one race.

Acorn versus squirrel, with a twist.

Karen Oakey is nervous but prepared for what awaits her.

The squirrels are in the air and eager to jump.

The conditions look good, let's begin.

Three, two, one, go!

The squirrels are out of the plane and flying.

Karen is off and running.

The difference in speed is immense,

but these squirrels have a lot more distance to cover.

Karen's going as fast as her little acorn legs will carry her...

..whilst the squirrels are now reaching speeds of over...

But they still have a long way to go.

The canopies have now opened on their parachutes.

But they're still miles out.

Karen is making slow but steady progress.

Will she make it to her new house before the squirrels catch her?

The first squirrel has located the house and is making his landing.

Touchdown!

This is not looking good for Karen.

Where's the acorn? Is she in the house?

No.

There she is, making a run for the field.

Right, after her.

And now here comes the second squirrel.

Surely Karen doesn't stand a chance now.

The first squirrel is closing in

but the acorn is running for her very life.

But the acorn's little legs look to be no match

for the speed of the squirrel.

Success! Looks like the squirrels are having dinner tonight.

Poor little acorn.

That takes the score to 3-2 to the Yellows.

Luckily for Karen Oakey,

those squirrels had just buried her feet in the ground

before they were chased off by a fox.

Don't worry, I shall rescue her later on, if I remember,

because now it's time for...

So, teams, in that tank, along with you, are pieces of a bridge.

But not just any old bridge - it is the Bridge Of Destiny.

DEEP VOICE: The Bridge Of Destiny.

Yeah. You have to find all the pieces you can to make your bridge.

They're all in there.

When you've built your bridge, pull that lever.

That'll release the car

that pulls your trailer of prizes across the tank.

It's that simple, that is how you play the Bridge Of Destiny.

DEEP VOICE: The Bridge Of Destiny.

OK. And the team that crosses it first will win

all the prizes in the car's trailer, including a land yacht,

a brushing robot and a marine copter.

Let's hope the prizes aren't too heavy for the Bridge Of Destiny.

-DEEP VOICE:

-The Bridge Of Destiny.

Fair enough. Know what you've got to do?

When you've built your bridge, pull the handle.

Yellows, you're in the lead, you have a five-second advantage.

Reds, go when you hear the second klaxon.

Right, the race to get your prize pods across the tank starts, mm...

now!

The Yellows setting off at a furious pace here.

There's the second siren and the Reds with it all to do

as the Yellows have two - no, make that three - bridge pieces in hand.

And it looks like Katie has already put one in place.

THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

Confusion reigning in the tank on the red side.

They're struggling to get off the mark, despite all the shouting.

And, as if things couldn't get more disgusting out there,

sounds like Alan's about to grace us with one of his special deliveries.

And while Alan was distracting us,

the Yellows have fitted the last piece into place.

They pull the lever, the car's skidding on the goo

and it's made it to the line, just.

A win in record time there. Amazing!

YELLOW TEAM CHEER

CHEERING

That was a close-run thing,

but, according to the rules, your car has made it across the tank,

Yellows, you are the winners!

CHEERING

Reds, I'm sorry, there were seconds in it.

So let's see what you've won, Yellows. Are you ready, Ninja Nan?

Each of you will be taking home a building-block set...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..a brush robot...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..a land yacht...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..a marine copter...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..aqua set...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-..a rocket coin bank...

-ALL: Wow!

-..a transforming robot...

-Wow!

-..an electronic game.

-Oh, my God!

Oh, yes, quite a haul for each of you.

It's the time and the part of the show I always regret

and never enjoy.

No, wait. I got that the wrong way round.

I do enjoy it, because it's time for the part of the show I love.

It is Bidet Goes Bang.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yellows, well done, well played.

All of this lot coming home with you. That's your haul of prizes.

-You're all pleased?

-ALL: Yeah.

-Of course you're pleased,

that's a stupid question.

Over here, Reds, you played really well and then you lost.

I'm really sorry and it was so close at the very end

and you're not going home with that lot, but don't worry,

because you will at least get something,

you'll take something home today.

A bit of exercise, as you join me on the Walk of Shame.

Come on, team, this way.

AUDIENCE: Awww!

-Aw, I know.

-I'm sad.

It is sad.

Let's just be brave.

It's been a journey, an adventure, a voyage,

with shared experiences and then you lost

and now you're going to blow your prizes up, simple as that.

If you'd lift the plunger, please, girls.

Lift it up, hold it till we're ready. We'll count them down from...

ALL: Five, four, three, two, one...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You've been great sports, Reds.

Thanks for playing, girls, sorry you didn't win.

Today we've made hovercrafts from records and chased nuts by air.

Just another day in the office.

A gungy, smelly, bangy, science-y sort of office. See you next time.

CHEERING

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