Episode 12 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

And that is why I told you not to go swimming in the fusion generator.

Hello and welcome to Blast Lab!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Joining me will be two teams of young science buffs

who'll challenge each other for top prizes.

Coming up, it's Fact Nav 2.0 with Oliver!

CHEERING

In Mini Science, we'll have tea and biscuits and rocket-racing,

my favourite combination.

And at the Lab Rats' favourite festival, Blastonbury,

they conduct an unusual experiment into the gaseous components of...

PFFFRRRT!

To top off the show, we have a tank, its contents are sceptic.

It's the Sceptic Tank!

CHEERING

When organising security for this top-secret laboratory,

I decided to pick someone who could disarm an assailant in two seconds.

And bake a Victoria sponge in about half an hour.

It is my Ninja Nan!

Let's see what she's doing over in the Ninja Nannex right now.

Oh! She's doing a crossword and Sudoku both at the same time.

That is Ninja training for you.

Let's look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello! Hello. Well, that's a warm welcome, but we don't know you.

You might not be the real Red Team. We must check for security reasons.

-Your names, please. What are they?

-Bria!

-Indie!

-Chloe!

OK, yeah, that checks out with the form.

Under hidden talent, Bria, it says you'll perform a talent.

-What can you do?

-I can do the splits.

-That's what it says here, OK.

If you can, I'll believe you and let you into the lab.

Ouch!

Yeah! OK, that counts! On your feet.

CHEERING

Come into the lab, then.

OK, you're past Ninja Nan and into the lab

but just one final check for security purposes.

A password was agreed with the real Red Team. What is it?

-ALL: Dancing.

-Yeah, that's what's written down here.

You all do dancing together? OK.

I believe you. You are officially the Red Team.

You can go get settled in for the first game. Away you go.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, we have a Red Team. What we need now is a Yellow Team.

Let's see who's claiming to be them.

CHEERING

OK, so you lot claim to be the Yellow Team, yeah?

You'll have to prove it before we let you in.

Your names, please.

-Joseph!

-Harry!

-Henry!

Joseph, Harry, Henry. Yup, that checks out.

Talent. It's got all of your names here.

What can you do to prove who you are?

-Us boys can twist our hands right round.

-Can you?

Urgh! Urgh! Look!

Stop it! Please, come in to the lab! Yes, I believe you!

CHEERING

That's really quite peculiar. I've not seen that before.

All right, you're into the lab. Well done.

A password was agreed with the official Yellow Team.

To prove that's who you are, what is that password?

-ALL: Cricket.

-That's what I've got written down here.

-Why did you choose that?

-Cos we all play it together.

Fair enough. Good luck in the lab. Go get settled for the first game.

OK, away you go.

That hand thing... Argh!

It's time for the car that can handle broadband, Wi-Fi

and Bluetooth with ease, but has a real problem with speed bumps.

It is, of course, Oliver.

Welcome, Oliver. In you come.

Oliver has got the latest version of Fact Nav 2.0.

It's a system that can provide you

with literally millions of scientific facts

if it's installed properly, ie, not installed by me

cos I did and it doesn't always work, so it's your job to work out,

which facts are true and which are false.

If a fact is true, Oliver will do this.

ALARM AND CAR HORN

And if it's false, Oliver will do this.

FOGHORN BLARES

OK, we move into the first game.

Now, you will see each team has three lights, lit red at the moment.

When you answer a question correctly

one of your lights will be turned to green. OK?

The important thing, though,

if you get a question wrong it'll turn one of the other lights green.

There are three lights. Whichever team gets three green first wins.

But remember, take care.

A wrong answer doesn't mean you just don't get your own light green,

you'll light one of theirs, too. You could win the game for them.

To find out who's going to go first, and to light the first bulb,

we start with a "nearest to" question.

How many carats was the largest diamond ever found?

How many carats was the largest diamond ever found?

I want the answer in carats.

Have a think and a chat amongst yourselves.

You never know what one of you might know.

-Five, four...

-Ooh, hello. Time's going to be up when we get to one.

..two, one, time's up.

OK. Yellows, you've got to finish. Come on, let's see what you've got.

19 carats. From the Reds, 16 carats.

The point, remember, goes to the team that gets the closest

to the actual answer. And that actual answer is...

3,106 carats, which means the Yellows get a green light!

CHEERING

Yeah, well done!

The diamond was called the Cullinan and was found in South Africa.

It was cut into pieces. Obviously that's difficult.

They must use a really sharp knife.

One of those pieces was set into the crown jewels.

Here comes your true or false question, OK?

There are more species of fish than species of mammal.

Is that true or false?

More species of fish than species of mammal. True or false?

OK, Yellows, what do you think? Is that true or false?

-It's true.

-You think it's true.

Oliver, is it true or false?

ALARM AND CAR HORN

It's true, well done! You're on two.

So that puts the Yellow Team in the lead,

but, Reds, don't worry. It's not over yet.

Here comes your science fact.

Sodium chloride is the chemical name for malt vinegar.

True or false?

You don't have to write it down. Just decide between yourselves.

-False.

-You think false.

You think sodium chloride isn't the chemical name for malt vinegar.

Oliver, is it true or false?

FOGHORN BLARES

It's false, well done! That's a green light for you.

CHEERING

Well done to the Reds. Yellows, time for your next science fact.

Scientists think that the universe was created five billion years ago.

Have a chat, have a think.

Audience, vote with your feet. True or false?

ALARM

Pretty much divided the audience. You think false, that it wasn't...

How long ago do you think it was invented?

Well, six million or something like that?

You think it's millions, not billions.

Down here, you lot think it's true.

Erm, well, I think it's true because about 198 million years ago

there were dinosaurs and there was a time before dinosaurs.

I think, yeah, it was created about five billion years ago.

That's some planning gone into that. Thank you for your help.

Back to your places, please. It's down to the teams now.

Scientists think the universe was created five billion years ago.

-Is that true or false?

-ALL: True.

Oliver, is it true or false?

FOGHORN BLARES

It's false! Bad luck. That means we light a green for the Reds

and we're now even. This game can turn around that quickly.

It's actually much older than that. Scientists think the universe

is 13.7 billion years-old.

You'd need a pretty big birthday cake for all those candles.

Right, Reds, this is your chance...

Well, this is where it gets really quite difficult.

I don't want to add to the pressure on you now, girls,

but get this one right, you win the game!

Get this one wrong, they win the game!

Here's your science fact.

The tallest mountain in the world from top to bottom is in Hawaii.

The tallest mountain in the world from top to bottom is in Hawaii.

True or false?

So, the tallest mountain in the world from top to bottom

is in Hawaii, is that true or false?

Absolutely false.

Not only false, but absolutely false.

Oliver, they think it's... You think it's...?

-False.

-Absolutely false. Oliver, is it true or false?

-ALARM AND CAR HORN

-It's true, I'm sorry,

the point goes to the Yellows!

I'm sorry.

It's actually Mauna Kea.

It's only 4,205 metres from high from sea level,

but I said from top to bottom.

And from the bottom of the seabed,

it's an enormous 10,205 metres - 1,000 metres taller than Everest.

So, you learned something new, but it cost you the round.

We go on, because the score is...

1-0 to the Yellows!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, I'd always dreamt of building a time machine of my very own,

so when I finally managed it, I knew what I wanted to do -

go back to prehistoric times and see if dinosaurs could play Twister.

They couldn't. But next, I wanted to go back in time

to bring back my school science teacher

to help me out here in Blast Lab.

And I did. It was brilliant, apart from in my rush,

I pressed the wrong button and she came back as a ten-year-old.

-It is of course, Minnie Miss!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Richard, comb your hair, it's a disgrace!

Thought it was style, Miss. Sorry, Miss.

Now, Miss, I do have a problem.

I sort of forgot Ninja Nan's birthday this week,

and she is rather cross with me.

Actually, no, she's furious.

So, to make it up to her, I thought I'd make her tea and biscuits.

But I can't get close enough to give her the tea and biscuits

-without getting hurt - can you help?

-I've got a plan.

But in the meantime...

give her this potpourri. It works like catnip on her.

Mmm, lovely woodland smells, this will calm her down no problem.

Thank you. And you've given me a delivery device...

Audience, stand back, please. No sudden moves. She is angry.

This calms her down. It always works, watch. Angry, angry, angry...

Look, happy!

Agh! I'm going to put that there, Ninja Nan, there you go.

There, there! Potpourri, lovely!

Stir it up a little bit... And then run!

OK, that's Ninja Nan sorted. Mini Miss, that was a brilliant idea.

But it won't be long before she remembers what she was cross about,

so what can we do?

I'll show you how to calm her down in a game I like to call...

-Bless you!

-I've given both teams a balloon

-and a clothes peg.

-Yes...

And I'm going to use these to make a balloon rocket.

-Oh, right, OK.

-Like this.

That's a balloon with a clothes peg on the end, I can see that.

Ah! Now, so this is like a runway made out of elastic,

this is a milk straw with a hook-and-loop fastener -

I've seen these before.

So this is a rocket - but with the clothes peg on the front,

-it can carry cargo.

-That's right.

-Are you going to launch it?

-Yes.

Let's do a countdown, please, audience - three, two, one...

Go!

I like it. So, with the clothes peg on the front of the balloon...

It's distracted Ninja Nan, we may have alarmed her. Yes, she's cross,

because there's nothing with it.

But with that clothes peg arrangement,

I could attach, I've got a tea bag

-and a teaspoon and a biscuit.

-Have you only just got that?

-Yeah.

I've just worked it out, but it is a brilliant plan.

You've saved my life. Do you want to brief the teams?

-You never were the brightest in the class, were you, Richard?

-No, Miss.

But I am determined and quite brave, because I'm about to

go into the Ninja Nannex and retrieve that bit of balloon.

Look, Nan! Potpourri!

Look, nice smells wafting at you... There you go!

Right, OK, run away!

What we're using here

is one of Blast Lab's all-time heroes, Sir Isaac Newton.

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah! #

Newton was brilliant at working out how things move.

He came up with three laws of motion, and his third law said,

if you push something one way,

there is an equal push going in the opposite direction.

So when the balloon is inflated, it's all stretched out,

which means it wants to shrink back to its ordinary shape.

As it does so, it squirts the air out that way.

That means there's as much of a push going on that way,

and it pushes the milk straw down the elastic

and delivers the tea bag, biscuit and teaspoon to Ninja Nan.

He probably had that in mind when he came up with that law.

Maybe. Right, Let's see how things are going on.

Mini Miss has explained what to do.

Try, please,

and get the tea-making essentials down to Ninja Nan.

You've got as much time as you like to do this.

You've got three balloons each.

You've each got biscuits, teaspoon and teabag.

If we're ready - get on with it, in your own time, go!

Both teams set to work

on constructing their Ninja delivery system.

Reds and Yellows now have their first balloons inflated,

but here comes the tricky bit -

getting the pegs and the Ninja tea equipment attached to the balloon.

It's fiddly. But the Yellows have the teaspoon fitted

and are ready to fire!

There you go!

And look at that, the rocket's spiralling down the line.

But oh, no spoon for Nan!

And the Reds' first attempt has ended up on the floor.

Both teams now regrouping and loading up their next effort.

They don't want to disappoint Ninja Nan.

Stop, stop.

Looks like the Yellows are nearly ready,

-and they are going for their tea-bag launch.

-Hurry, hurry.

Ninja Nan, still waiting excitedly - coiled, like a coiled cushion.

There it goes, and yes, Ninja Nan is very happy with that - very happy!

Both teams now about to launch...

Yellows first off, but Reds are off and running, too.

Two biscuits to land! She doesn't know which one to have first!

What could be better?

Reds need to catch up. Oh, but that's a disaster.

Now there go the Yellows, with their third balloon -

to win the game!

Well done, Yellow team that's all three down there,

and that means you take the point from this round. 2-0 to the Yellows.

Well done!

And the really good news is, Ninja Nan is happy and content,

so I can spend a bit of quality Nan time

relaxing in the Nannex with her, and watching telly.

Hello, Nan, nice to see you. Telly's on.

Oh, yeah, I will.

Welcome to Blastonbury, a typical English festival.

Beautiful weather...

RUMBLES OF THUNDER

..friendly security. But best of all, lots of people.

Hang on a second, this isn't what was promised on the ticket.

It looks like my Lab Rats will have to make their own fun,

because this festival is rubbish.

# Here we come, here we go We got to rock

# Easy come, easy go... #

Oh, no, it's the security guard. What now?

No dancing?! Oh, come on!

Well, at least my Lab Rats are still trying to have a good time.

What? No groovy behaviour?! What are they supposed to do now?

Ah, a trusty game of cards, a great way to pass the time.

Oh, you can't be serious.

No cards!

That man certainly did seem serious.

So it's official. Blastonbury is terrible.

With so many restrictions my Lab Rats have decided to have some food,

but beans? Careful, Lab Rats. Beans can make you, you know, gassy.

PFFFRRT!

Told you. That's... Oh, dear.

PFFFRRT!

OK, then. OK, this is getting out of control now. This is...

PFFFRRT!

..bad. OK. Here comes the warden. He's bound to stop them.

-PFFFFFFRRRRRRRT!

-What?! You could've stopped them!

PFFFRRT!

Don't you realise that farts can be dangerous?

THEY ALL FART

Some bottom gases have explosive properties.

When exposed to heat these gases can react quickly with oxygen

to make expanding gases that take up much, much more space.

If the reaction happens in an enclosed structure,

this rapid increase in gas volume may not be able to be contained,

leading to a gassy explosion.

Well, as expected, our three Lab Rats need to use the loo.

Lucky for them, we've made them each a personalised lavatory.

In each toilet is a balloon full of one of the elements of a fart.

One with nitrogen, one with methane and one with hydrogen.

Before they can use the loo, we need to clear out the gas,

and what better way to do this than with a small spark.

The bad news for them is that if the gas in their toilet is explosive

it will ignite and rapidly expand,

causing an explosion so big that it could destroy the toilet.

But which of the three gases is most explosive?

Hold the experiment there, because there's another point up for grabs.

Which is the most explosive component of wind?

Is it nitrogen, hydrogen or methane?

Nitrogen, hydrogen or methane? Have a quick think.

-So, Yellows, what do you think?

-ALL: Methane.

-Methane. Reds, what do you think?

-Methane.

Both the same answer. It can't move the balance in the scores,

but the point is up for grabs.

Both teams thinking methane. Let's find out the real answer.

Let's get back to the experiment.

Three toilets, each filled with a different fart gas,

but which is the most explosive?

Our three Lab Rats desperately need to use the lavatory,

so first let's ignite the toilet full of nitrogen.

Will the Lab Rat get to use the loo or is it the forest for him?

Three, two, one...

ignite!

Hmm, so great news for our Lab Rat. Nitrogen isn't explosive.

This means he can take care of business

in the comfort of a proper lavatory.

Now onto loo number two.

It's full of a different fart gas - methane.

I wonder if this one will go off with a bang.

Three, two, one...

ignite!

We can see from the explosion that methane is indeed explosive.

The reaction rips apart the toilet with ease,

leaving our Lab Rat looking for a nice bit of forest

to take care of business.

Now, onto lavatory number three.

This time, the loo is full of the last fart gas - hydrogen.

Will we see another bang

or will the Lab Rat get some much wanted privacy?

Three, two, one...

ignite!

Wow! An even bigger explosion than the last.

Hydrogen a clear winner.

Our Lab Rat will have to find some quiet place in the forest

for some "me" time.

So it turns out...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..the answer is hydrogen. No points to anyone but that's OK.

The score stays the same. It's two to Yellows, none to Reds.

We're going into the last game, you could still win the day.

Teams, I'm going to send you off to go and get changed, if you would.

Who'd like to see that again?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It is time for...

You might be interested to know that I've been conducting an experiment

to see if alligators can survive in nuclear waste,

in there.

They can, which is amazing, but it does make them quite cross,

so if one bites you...do scream.

It'll be too late for you but it might give the others a chance, OK?

Do that out of a sense of charity. No sudden moves, you'll be fine.

You have some time to get as many prize discs of your team's colour

into these baskets as possible.

Prizes include a radio-controlled helicopter,

an electronic project set and a personal weather station.

But as well as the prize discs in there, teams,

lurking, there are these.

This is a horrid species, this red and yellow herring.

If one of these gets into your net you will lose a precious prize disc.

Yellow, you start first, you've got the most points

so you get a five-second head start.

Reds, when you hear the second klaxon, you start, OK?

Good luck, both teams, with the prize discs...and the alligators.

You have some time to get as many prize discs as possible,

and that some time starts... Now!

KLAXON BLARES

And the Yellows burst into what can only be called action.

SECOND KLAXON

The second siren, and the Reds take on the characteristics

of a gaggle of overfed turkeys on New Year's Day...

I think.

Thank goodness I remembered to warn them this time

about the extra gunge coming down the pipes.

I didn't remember to warn them.

The Reds are chameleon-like in their toxic red goo,

with only their faces visible above the slime.

Looks like the Yellows are finally off the mark and now the Reds, too.

Oh, no, it's a yellow disc. Best chuck that one back, Reds.

But this is a red disc in the basket.

The crowd can't believe the skill here. Something to tell the kids.

No, not their kids, obviously. They are kids.

The kids at schoo... Those kids.

I'm confusing myself now. Let's get on.

Both teams seem to be scoring for fun now,

although Reds, that's a red herring. Better put that one back.

AUDIENCE CHANTS

-This game could not be closer today.

-Five, four...

The next disc is all-important and it's the Yellows who have it,

I think.

MAD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That is it, time is up, I'm afraid.

Only the team with the most prize discs wins.

Let's have a Lab Rat to count them cos I don't want to burn my hands

and I don't care about your paws.

-Four for the Yellows.

-Yes!

And for the Reds, what have we got, Lab Rat?

Two for the Reds. That means the Yellows are the winners!

CHEERING

Let's have a look at what you've won, Yellows.

Ninja Nan, are you ready?

An internal combustion engine. Well done, Yellows.

Electronic project set.

Sea monkeys.

And an all-surface swingball for each of you.

That's really good news! That makes us all feel good.

What we're doing now is painful. You've won, that's lovely.

These girls have not.

This is what they each would have been taking home with them.

A personal weather station. It would've been nice, I know.

Electronic project set for each of you. Yeah, I know, I know.

And in the real world, some you win and some you lose.

In Blast Lab some you win, some you blow up in a bidet,

because it's time for Bidet Goes Bang!

So we've reached that point, Yellows, congratulations.

Are you chuffed? It went well for you all through that.

You'll take all these home. Congratulations to our winners.

Reds, follow me over these chairs. Come on.

Oh, let's go.

Now, Reds, you know the drill.

We've mounted the steps. You're all going to do it together?

It's the best way, I think. Share the blame.

Lift the plunger. OK, we'll give you a countdown for your...

Well, this is your moment of glory. Enjoy, OK?

Ready, audience? Count them down. Five, four, three, two...

Duck!

EXPLOSION

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done for playing, Reds, well done for playing.

Sorry somebody had to lose. It was you guys this time.

We've run out of time.

I hope you've enjoyed learning about Newton's laws of motion

and which bottom burp would best explode a Portaloo.

Who said science can't be fun?

Except the Science Can't Be Fun Society, who threw me out ages ago.

There'll be plenty more fun next time so join me then. Bye-bye.

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