Pompomtastic Sadie J

Yes, I'm here. Here! Yes, I'm here! Dedes, where are you?

Sadie, what is the best thing that could ever happen in the Y Diner?

Just tell me because I have a very long list

of best ever things that could happen.

Space Cargo fan fanatics are holding their annual convention right here.

-And that's not on it.

-But, Sadie, there'll be 3D holograms

of Zingon sky fighters, you have to come.

Holograms. Brilliant, I'm in.

Yay! It'll be just like old times.

Flug.

Crazy days. Shake?

One organic soya wheatgrass special coming up.

Newsflash! I'm beyond excited!

Guess who's been nominated for a drama award?

Kit, that is stupendomundo.

-And you're going to be my plus one at the ceremony.

-Get out!

-I'm totally there.

-Coolio.

Got to go, I'm pirouetting in ten. Check you later.

Cal-cu-later.

-Jenkins, a word.

-Fantabulicious.

I just meant I want a word with you.

-Whitney?

-Me?

Whitney Landon, the queen of cool,

the cheer in Cheer-ups, wants to talk to me.

Oh, no, what have I done?

Would you like to come

to the cheerleaders' partay on Saturday night?

Are you having some kind of attack?

Huh...erm, no, no.

I'm fine, it's just the Cheer-ups are, like, terrifyingly cool

and, I mean, I'm sort of cool,

just not in a vicious bullying monster kind of way. Why me?

What can I say?

All of the girls think that you've got social potential.

-They want me to join the team?

-I didn't say that.

-Right, OK. Well, faboosh, I'll get a funky new outfit for...

-No!

I mean, you look fine just as you are.

Cheerleaders club, 6pm, don't be late.

Wow! OMG, how insane is this? The Cheer-ups are, like, totally A-list.

OK, they're also two-faced bubble brained airheads, but A-list.

Oh, yeah, Sassie J got the moves.

-She got the groove, she got...urgh.

-Argh.

-Oopsy.

-Grrrr. Don't you think I've got enough on my platter?

Drama queen awards and space convention are happening

on the same day at the same time

and I don't have nearly enough shnudelbaps,

and I'm going to lose money

because the Cheer-upskis are all going to the partay.

Ha-ha-ha...

Hang on a second. What do you mean they're all on the same day?

Let me translate for you, they're all on the same day.

It's cool, I'll just cancel Kit and Dedes.

I know what you're thinking but it'll be fine, I can handle it,

because I'm Sadie J, Sassy J, the jinkster.

I got potential. Give me a P, give me an O, give me a T.

Um, tea?

# Can somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by

# Boys, give me a break

# They got attitude, kind of cute

# But when they're in trouble Takes a girl to save the day

# I'd love another girl around the place to be heard

# Someone to back me up so I always have the last word

# Guess it's hard to be the only girl in a boys' world

# Girl, girl in a boys' world

# I know I'm stronger cos I got a positive mental attitude

# Understanding kind and sensitive don't want gratitude

# I just don't want to be the only girl in a boys' world. #

Hey, Dedes, how's my favourite girl?

Your uniform is looking so fine today.

How do you know? I'm on the phone.

Erm...intuition. Anyway hypothetically speaking,

what would you say I told you I couldn't make it

to the convention on Saturday?

I'd say I've spent about six hours making our Space Cargo uniforms

for the costume competition.

Cancel now and you're as good as dead to me.

Right.

Well, it's a good thing I can go then, isn't it?

Though, please don't tell Kit,

-I really want this to be our specialtastic night.

-Not a problem.

Two tics, Dedes.

-Hey, Kit Kat, what's going down?

-My popularity.

If I don't get enough votes by 3pm tomorrow, I don't get an award.

Now how do you think your entire family would feel about joining

the drama club, and voting for me?

Yeah, about that, how would you feel

if I told you I couldn't make it to the drama awards?

-Absolutely fine.

-Whoof.

I mean, I'd never speak to you again and I'd probably start a Sadie J

is a lameface, let you down, leaves you in the lurch loser campaign,

but other than that I'd be absolutely fine.

Oh...well it's a good thing I'm coming, in fact I can't wait.

But please don't tell Dedes,

I really want this to be our specialtastic night.

I hear that, sisterlister.

Oh, one sec, Kit, I just have to put you on hold.

Ugh, why does everything have to be such a problem!

Problem? What problem?

Oh, no problem.

And now I need a new phone.

Now on the Man Channel, back to back episodes of Crazy Tony, Snake Hunter.

Brilliant.

Not brilliant.

Why has your dad blocked Snake Hunter?

I don't know.

Crazy Tony actually gets a snake to eat a cow this week,

it's going to be awesome.

Shame. How about Lunatic Car Chases instead?

No, I want to watch a snake eat a cow on the Man Channel,

because we're men.

Yes, you're right, we so are.

Look at these guns.

Go and ask your dad for the pin.

Huh.

Huh.

OK, enough. Out with it.

What, it's nothing.

It's Paula, I think she's gone back with her ex, Darren Andrews.

What, the bloke who brought this in? What makes you think that?

Harsh.

-Anyway I thought you said you were going to dump her?

-I was,

but not until after Friday night.

We were going to go down the Burger Bowl,

-you know, for burger and bowling.

-Ah, you don't say.

But now I've got nothing to do,

and I've never had nothing to do on a Friday night, Steve.

-Dad, Dad, whatever Jake asks you, just say no.

-No.

Yes, just like that.

Steve, you can't seriously deny us the pin code, can you?

No. I mean, I don't...it's...

it depends, it depends what for.

A snake show, a really big, scary, horrible snake show.

Oh, well in that case definitely not.

-Oh, well, I tried.

-Try again, we're missing the Snake Hunter.

Are you going to tell him or am I?

Well...oh, is that the time, shouldn't you be going?

I'm staying all weekend, you melonhead. What's up?

Years ago I made Danny a little puppet out of an old sock of mine,

Snaggletooth the snake.

He was yellow and green with beady button eyes.

Scared Danny so much, he hasn't been able to look at a snake since.

Ha-ha, you're scared of snakes.

Me, scared?

N-no, no, that was then, this is now because I watch the Man Channel.

I can't take it, now give us the pin.

Aargh!

-No fair.

-And no pin.

-What do you mean you can't come to the convention?

-Ahem, ahem.

Look how desperate I am, it's great isn't it?

I'm sorry I'm so weak, come closer, my child.

Not that close, it's seriously contagious.

These pus-filled boils could burst at any moment,

in fact, I think one's about to go right now!

Hang on, I've never heard of parakeet measles before...

but you are running a very high temperature, in fact,

according to this you should be dead.

What can I say, I'm a freak of nature.

And I so wanted to go with you.

I mean, I've been practising my Space Cargo tribute dance all week.

-Ahem.

-I got here as soon as I co-o-o-uld.

How's the poorly patient?

Well enough to attend a fabulous function?

-Function, what function?

-The malfunction...

my bedsprings are like way gone. Could you go and tell my dad,

if I don't get a good night's rest, these parakeet measles

will turn into peacock ones and then where will we be?

-So can you still make the awards?

-Ahem, erm, I wish I could,

-I even wrote a speech about what an oscarlicious actor you are.

-Really?

Yes, in fact I was going to sing it

to music in front of everyone, but I can't now.

Can I hear a bit of it?

-Sorry, I've lost my voice.

-Grrr, this is a total disaster.

I was only votes away from being six votes short of almost winning.

I'm so depressed I'll eat carbs and listen to Coldplay all afternoon.

Results! Get in, the Sasster rules.

Give me an S, give me an A, give me a D-I-E. What does that spell?

-Sadie.

-Yes! No... erm...

it's a miracle, I'm cured.

BOTH: YAY!

# Da-da-da-dun-dun. #

I take it Friday night's back on with Paula?

Paula? Who's Paula?

Paula. Darren and Paula.

I don't need a date to have fun.

Me and my three best mates,

Boxy, Spanner, and Donkey are going clubbing.

PHONE BUZZES

-Oh, make that just Donkey and Spanner.

-Spanner.

Yes, that's his nickname. Really funny story as to how he got it...

No, I mean pass me the spanner.

So anyway, it's going to be, like, a totally wild night...

oh, it's Donkey, the Donk, Donkalonk,

"Can't do Friday. Sorry, mate, going to a gig now with Spanner."

That's just brilliant, isn't it?

-Back to square one in less than one minute.

-Look, if you want

you can come round and stay in with me Friday night.

You mean, like, not go out? Are you bonkers?

It's hardly the Porsche of social events, granted, it's more like

a comfortable Ford Focus, but I always have a great time.

No way, I'd rather go clubbing with my mum.

Well, your mum plays bingo on a Friday night.

I'll see if my Nan's free.

I'm going to show you, Keith, and Dad that Snaggletooth is history,

once I've guessed this pin.

You don't have to do this, you know.

Are you saying that I'm not man enough?

No do you want to see the show or not?

Try Steve's birthday.

Roger's birthday.

The birthday of someone Steve loves most in the whole wide world,

ever, ever, ever.

Got it.

Yes!

-Who's birthday was that?

-It's Jeremy Clarkson's.

Awesome. Let the snakathon begin.

Hang on, shouldn't we have...

drinks, and little chocolate-covered chocolate thingies.

We might as well make a night of it, yes?

Totally. In fact, that's such a good idea it deserves the robot.

Eee-ee-ee... Hang on.

You're just stalling because you're scared.

No, I'm not, I just really want those chocolate-covered chocolate...

thingies. We have to order them, from Guatemala.

They're flown over specially. I'll get them now, actually.

Right, enough, you need to face your fear.

OK.

No! Let me go.

LET ME GO.

OK, no arguments, I'm grounded.

What? You haven't done anything wrong, have you?

Oh, really?

-Have now.

-Hey, what's going on?

You really want to know? Fine.

First Dede invited me to a Space Cargo convention, I said fabu.

Then Kit invited me to the drama awards and I was so on board,

then Whitney invited me to the Cheer-ups' partay,

that is pom-pomtastic. Then I found out they were all on the same night

so obviously I faked a tropical illness,

but then Kit and Dedes busted me.

-Sadie?

-And now not only do I have to go with them,

I also have to come up with a Space Cargo tribute dance

and write a speech about how good an actor Kit is.

Looks like you're going to have to come clean.

Are you crazy? I could potentially lose my two best mates here.

So either I lie and let them down gently

or I miss out on the chance of becoming a Cheer-up.

Oh, nonsense. Look, Sass, in my opinion

life is like a three-door hatchback,

you've got to choose which door you're going to use to go in,

the other two you keep closed. Like it or lump it.

I like it. Dad, you're a genius.

Out of my way!

OK, boss, I finally got Friday night sorted.

Ah, you're going out with your Gran?

No, she's gone to Glastonbury.

You're staying in with me?

Leave off, you're coming out with me.

I've got two tickets to Endurance.

That sounds like an energy drink.

What are you like, it's only the hottest club in town.

Now get on your best clubbing gear so I can check it out,

they're well fussy about the dress code.

So...what do you think?

I think we're staying in.

This is a safe place, Danny boy,

there are no right or wrong answers here.

Think of me as a sounding board, a vessel, a...

Oh, just get on with it.

Right, OK, snakes.

-Where?!

-Nowhere. It's all in your head,

there's nothing to fear but fear itself.

Now what is it about snakes that you hate?

Well, I guess...no, that's stupid.

No, no, go with that thought.

-Well, they don't have eyelids so they're always watching you.

-Really?

Yes, and their scales are like little claws,

so there's at least 1,000 claws on every snake.

-Gross.

-I know! And once a constrictor's got hold of you

it'll keep tightening its grip

every time you breathe out

until eventually there's no room for any air in your lungs.

But...th-that's horrible.

I know. Thanks, mate, this is really starting to help.

Heh-heh, no worries.

That's what I'm here for.

Hi.

Sorry, Jenkster. You better not be late tomorrow,

you don't want to see a cheesed off Cheer-Up.

Oh, I'll be there, don't you worry.

I've got it all worked out.

Sass, Sass, I'm having a major crisis!

You didn't manage to rig the vote?

Of course I did, have you seen how well I forge your signature?

No, this is a fresh hell.

Tom Roberts, star of soap, panto, and that bagel advert,

is coming to the drama awards to present a prize.

-So?

-So I'll be a starstruck freakozoid,

in fact I'll need perpetual pep talks from you

to stop me from doing this all night.

-Not a problem. Shake?

-Sadie!

Sadie, I need your help.

I just heard THE Captain Stylo is judging the costume competition

at the convention, and the Sky Fleet badges

I've glued onto the uniforms are upside down.

He's bound to notice, it's standard Sky Fleet apparel.

You have to help me make another outfit.

Consider it done. Shake?

And there's a badge on the helmet.

Oh, it's done, everything's done.

There is nothing that's going to stop you from going to the awards

and you from going to the convention. Now drink up.

-Three...two...one.

-Urgh!

Oh, no, the Y has a cockroach infestation.

Now what is the health inspector going to make of that?

He'll close the place down, like a three-door hatchback.

What health inspector? There isn't one here.

PHONE BEEPS

Argh, the health inspector's on his way.

-Ooh!

-Did you just eat those cockroaches?

-What cockroaches?

There are no cockroaches here.

No, but there are rats.

Oh, oh.

-Oh! Oh!

-ALARM RINGS

CHILDREN SCREAM

My hair! My hair!

Oops!

Ta-da!

We have got tandoori, korma, balti, chow mein, wonton, chips,

pizza, and enough fried chicken to fill the glove compartment of an XJS.

So we just eat all night?

"Just eat!" Will you listen to him!

So speaks a man who's not enjoyed the simple pleasures of staying in.

Apart from this fast-food extravaganza, we have got not one,

not two, but three Top Gear DVDs.

Best of Jeremy Clarkson,

Jeremy Clarkson's Best Bits - ah, Mountain Biking In Kathmandu!

With Jeremy Clarkson.

So let me get this straight, "staying in" equals

"takeaway with Jeremy Clarkson".

You're forgetting the vital ingredient.

-Slippers.

-But... I'm too young for slippers.

-Ah, come on.

-No, Steve. No.

Feel the force of the fur!

Wow!

They're like putting your feet into clouds.

Clouds!

Ha-ha.

Ah, yes.

This is my own invention,

chicken tikka margherita.

This staying-in lark, not much fun, eh?

Are you kidding? If Boxy, Spanner, and Donkey could see me now.

TV: 'So that's what happens when a king cobra STRIKES its victim!'

You know, I'm actually doing OK so far!

Are you sure? Don't want to run before you can walk.

'Now we see what happens when a snake attacks a cow.

'Poor Daisy's completely unaware

'that snaking through the grass behind her is a giant anaconda!

'As it races up behind Daisy, you see its jaw extend, ready to strike.

SNAP! 'Ooh, Daisy's got no chance

'as the anaconda engulfs her head and snaps shut!

She struggles, but the snake coils around Daisy's body...

Aaaaarrrrgghhh!

Aaaaarrrrgghhh!

Whoa!

No!

SPLAT!

Eugh! Eugh!

Mmm.

# What's the matter? #

Look, guys, just because the Y's been flooded

and everything's been cancelled, it's not the end of the world.

Just believe me when I say I truly feel your pain.

I don't feel sad for me, I feel sad for all the people

that never knew they voted for me.

It's OK, there'll be another convention at the Y...

in 2018.

Hello my little Y-bangers,

I wanted you to be the first to know that we are officially back open.

What about the water?

Well, rather fortunately, we had the paper-towel insurance,

they came and mopped the place up within a matter of hours.

So, the awards and the convention are officially back on.

-Hooray!

-The only problem is,

they will have to take place in same room,

as the dance studio is still a little...

..wet.

That's it, I give up. I can't be in three places at once...

Or can I?

Ta-da, looking good!

Convention. Awards.

Cheer-Ups party!

What do you think, Roger?

HE WHIMPERS

Always with the negative vibes!

For the last time, I wasn't scared.

I just ran downstairs screaming, "Snake! Snake!" because I was...

erm, excited.

Look, Jake, it's OK.

It doesn't matter to me, mate, after all you helped me get over

my fear of snakes so I'm going to do

-exactly the same for you.

-Really?

Nah.

-Tsssss!

-Aargh!

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

It's OK, Sass, you can do this,

you've got it all worked out.

What are you smirking at?

Here goes.

I can't wait till Captain Skylo comes,

we're bound to win the costume competition.

-Look at them!

-Wow, there's an original Zingon blaster!

What? Where? Where? Sadie, I can't see it! Sadie?

Sadie?

-BOTH:

-Cheese!

And BTW, what's happening here?

-Purple and red - wouldn't be seen dead.

-Erm...

-Oh, look, Angelina Jolie.

-Where?

Er, S... Sadie?

I thought you were supposed to be at the Cheer-Upski partay.

Yoohoo!

Have you seen Sadie?

Yes.

You ratted me out.

You brought Mr Ratty in here.

You've barely spent a nanosecond with me

and you haven't done your tribute dance yet.

Doh, that's because she's getting ready to make a speech about moi.

She is my plus one after all.

But she is my plus...

Look guys, I can explain.

You see I really did want to come to the awards and the convention

but they were on at the same time and that time was the same time I

got asked to the Cheer-Ups partay.

Cheer-Ups partay?

They think I've got a potential.

As what, a pom-pom?

I didn't want to let you down. I'm not a monster so I thought I'd come

here, show my face and then zip off to wear I really want to be.

Ooh!

Nice one, Sass.

Pah, I'll make it up to them.

Cheer-Ups partay time.

Let's get this party started because Sassa J

is in da house.

What kind of partay is this?

Well, let's put it this way, an A-lister

brings along a D-lister

so all the other A-listers can laugh at them.

Ouch.

No-o-o-o-o-o!

Enjoy your partay?

Not really.

-Could have told you it'd end in tears.

-How?

They invited me first.

Oh, come on, I couldn't choose, OK?

I've said sorry like a million times.

I had a really bad night, too.

Are you kidding? Captain Skylo was a no show.

And Tom Roberts has an emergency panto call,

Buttons cracked a clavicle.

I don't even know what that is.

I'm never going to smile again.

-Me neither.

-Want to bet?

I am officially...Queen Geek.

Permission to laugh.

I know, I deserved that.

OK, who's ordered the mocha-choca low fat with extra ice cream?

-Me!

-Me!

I'm afraid there's only one left.

Take it.

It's yours!

You're kidding, right?

No. Unlike somebody, I'm a kind and good person to my fellow man.

Cheap shot? But so worth it!