Episode 9 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me up and watch me go

# Cos it's easy Once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now It's already begun. #

Ladies and gentlemen, he's Barnsley's finest export

and he's Wolverhampton's... He's from Wolverhampton!

It's Sam and Mark.

APPLAUSE

BOTH: Come on!

He's up there. He's up there.

-He's up there!

-Give me a hug!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Did you have a hug then?

-I did. Welcome to the weekend.

APPLAUSE

Put on your seatbelt, hold on tight.

Tonight's show could get a little rocky.

HORN BLARES

We have got so many surprises crammed into today's show,

it scares me.

-It scares me too.

-For example, we have got a surprise

-for two members of this audience.

-Oooh!

We've taken our hidden cameras on the road stitching people up.

Check this out.

-What's your name?

-Olivia.

-Nice to meet you, I'm Bethany.

If you look after yourself every day, you'll be as beautiful as I am.

I'm making a mess. I'll just do your thumb first.

You are freaking her out. She's saying "help" to her mum.

APPLAUSE

If you want to find out why Sam was scaring

the life out of people, keep watching.

And we've only got Pixie Lott on the show.

APPLAUSE

We'll be catching up with Pixie Lott later

and she'll perform her single All About Tonight.

This is a show with a surprise around the corner.

No-one is safe especially in this audience.

Ooh!

All right?

-OK. I would like to speak to you, Georgia.

-Hello.

-Are you all right?

-Yes, thank you.

I've heard that your dad likes to bust a few moves on the dancefloor.

-Is this true?

-Yes.

-Right, are those moves any good at all?

-No.

-Are they embarrassing?

-Yes.

-Where is your dad today?

-At work.

To tell you the truth, I've got hold of your dad's mobile number.

-Why don't we give him a buzz? Have a bit of a chinwag.

-OK.

I'll just get his number.

PHONE RINGING

-'Hello.'

-Is that Georgia's dad, Darren?

-'Yeah, hello, Sam.'

-Hiya! Where are you?

-'Backstage.'

What are you doing backstage, Darren?

'I'm getting ready to do a bit of dancing in front of the nation.'

Put the phone down and do your thing.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Georgia's dad.

APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys

Are you all right? Oi! Hey!

Oh, that was amazing! That was amazing! Are you powered up now?

-Powered up!

-Georgia, what did you think of that?

-It was terrible.

-Georgia, don't worry,

we are going to give your dad the chance to redeem himself.

And it's in a non-robotic way. Dad, go and get yourself ready.

Georgia, come with me, it's time to play Dad On A Wheel.

APPLAUSE

Georgia, are you ready

-to see your dad as you've never seen him before?

-I think so.

Studio audience, are YOU ready

to see Georgia's dad as YOU'VE never seen him before?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In that case, everyone in the Wind-Up studio audience

please give it up for Dad On A Wheel!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Looking good, Dad. How are you feeling?

-I'm fine, thank, you, Sam.

You look great.

As you can see, we have a Dad On The Wheel, ready for rotation.

Now, if Dad lands on Dad, he'll win himself a prize. That'd be nice.

-Fantastic.

-If he lands on Audience, he will be winning

a prize for our entire audience. CHEERING

-And if Dad lands on Star, Georgia wins a prize.

-Yes!

You cheer, but Georgia, you have to answer a question correctly.

-Landing on...

-# Gold! #

..is good.

Red, however...is bad.

Yep, if Dad lands on red,

he will be coming face to face with the Foaminator!

That's right! Georgia, come on over!

This week's Foaminator is Georgia's granddad, Roger. How are you doing?

Well done, Roger. Lovely to see you, Roger.

-Georgia, did you know that in his spare time, he's a Foaminator?

-No.

Now, Granddad, if Dad lands on Red,

you have to foam him right in the face.

Yep. No problem.

After we've got over that initial shock,

-we'll get out of the line of fire. Georgia, are you ready?

-I think so.

In that case, here we go, loads of prizes, no big deal, come on, Sam...

turn that big wheel! OK, here we go!

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it you like to...move it

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it you like to...move it. #

CHEERING

He's landed on Foam, I can't believe it! On the first one!

OK, Foaminator, get yourself in position. Dad, are you ready?

-Dad's ready.

-I'm going to stand behind here. Granddad, after three.

One, two, three!

All right, is that it? Lovely! Granddad, come on over.

High five, Granddad. Yeah! How are you feeling, Dad?

Foam-tastic!

We've got two more spins. Here we go with the second one.

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it you like to...move it

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it. #

CHEERING

It's landed on Dad, which means you've won a prize.

Let's see what it is. It's a hammock, modelled by Joe McElderry!

Hey, it's what every dad wants these days!

OK, Dad, you've got one more spin.

-Feeling OK?

-Feeling good.

-Here we go.

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it you like to...move it

# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it. #

CHEERING

It's landed on Foam again, would you believe it?!

-Granddad, would you believe it?

-No.

OK, Foaminator, get yourself in position. You know what to do.

After three. One, two, three!

CHEERING

OK, nice work. Nice work, Roger.

Lovely stuff. So that means at the end of Dad On A Wheel,

you got foamed twice by Roger, our Foaminator,

also known as Georgia's granddad, and you won a hammock.

-That's nice.

-Thank you.

-Lovely!

I can't believe I just said that! Give it up for our Dad

and a massive thank you to Georgia's granddad, Roger.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Georgia, is it true you're a massive fan of The Saturdays?

-Huge.

Well, they are massive fans of you as well! Check this out!

Hi, Georgia. It's The Saturdays.

We've heard you're a massive fan of us. We're a big fan of you too!

If you're getting this message, it means you've been embarrassed

by your dad and he's strapped to a wheel, covered in foam.

That's the kind of crazy thing that happens on Wind-Up.

Enjoy the rest of the show and we'll see you soon. Bye!

CHEERING

Thank you.

It's a pleasure. That's not all.

They've also signed a load of Saturdays goodies for you.

Check this out. Look! All to you!

-Thank you.

-It's a pleasure. No problem whatsoever. Are you happy?

-You look happy!

-That's just the kind of thing that we do around here.

The excitement doesn't stop there. You and your family are going

-to play Win The Presenter. It's almost too much to take!

-It is!

Come here, love!

Saturday surprises, dancing dads, faces of foam,

it's the craziness that goes on and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Let's take a look at what else is in store.

Sam and Mark hit the road with their covert cameras

for another game of In Yer Face.

Don't move a muscle cos it's coming right up!

Watch out cos the finger of fun is on the loose and someone's in

for a shock as they discover they're the victim

of a thieving monkey! We're going to be catching up

with Pixie Lott and we've got a surprise in store for her.

Hey, it's what we do here on Wind-Up!

Oh, yes, siree. There's a lot of good stuff coming up on today's show,

-starting from like...now!

-Yes. Ladies and gentlemen,

give it up for a couple of friends of ours. It's Maggie and Olivia.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Yes! Yes!

-Ah!

-Ah! How are you doing, guys?

-Good.

-Lovely to have you on the show. Yes.

-Very lovely.

You might recognise these guys from another one

of our smash hit shows, TMi Friday. Let's check them out.

Yep, there's Maggie and Olivia, along with a massive balloon.

They really were good TMi-ers.

Yep, I think it's fair to say, a good time was had by all.

-Good times! Good times!

-After hanging out with us on the show,

-did you ever think our paths would cross again?

-No.

-But our paths did cross again, didn't they?

-Yes.

-They did.

In a big way. We decided that these girls were perfect candidates

for our hidden camera game, In Yer Face, for two reasons.

One - we knew where they lived

and what they liked doing in their spare time.

This meant we could go to those places and set up hidden cameras.

Two - they would recognise us if we bumped into them in the street.

That's essential in order for our game to work.

Our mission was to spend a whole day in their lives

without being recognised.

I think we should take a look and see what happened.

-Maggie, say the magic words.

-Roll VT!

Another chilled day in Chiswick.

But then we showed up.

We're here to get in someone's face.

we're going to get in the face of these two.

-I'm taking Maggie.

-And I'm taking Olivia.

The aim of the game is not to get recognised.

We've got loads of disguises to help us out.

And whoever gets away with it the longest is the winner.

But if they uncover our true identity

and make a positive ID right in our faces, then it is game over.

Let's get ready to rumble! Round one - Fishermen.

Can Sam and Mark go fishing without being caught themselves?

Let's find out. First up, Mark.

Mark, can you hear me?

-I'm receiving you loud and clear.

-Good. You look like a garden gnome!

I feel a bit like a garden gnome! I'm not going to lie to you.

Here are the rules for round number one.

Maggie will be coming down by where you're fishing.

She's having a walk, so you need to carry on fishing.

Act like maybe you've caught something big

and maybe just say a little hello to her.

-OK, no worries.

-If she says, "You're Mark from Sam and Mark", you're out,

-right at the first hurdle.

-I know the rules of the game.

Isn't that them up the top?

Ah!

I think she's laughing at you. I don't blame her. I would be too!

She can't take her eyes off you. I don't think she's got an idea.

I haven't got a bite yet. No.

She's getting closer. She's getting closer.

It's an old trick.

He's got his welly! What an idiot!

Mark, this is the longest first hit ever.

-She might rumble you if you keep her waiting.

-OK.

That's enough fishing for today me thinks. See you soon. Bye.

He's leaving.

-That was good.

-That took ages!

-Brilliant.

-This is a rubbish bait!

-I didn't get any fish. She didn't have a clue.

-Game on. My turn.

What a plonker! Next up, it's Sam.

I don't want to rub it in or anything but I'm 1-0 up

and if you get found out here, I've won and it's a very early bath,

so you may as well go for a swim in that late.

You've just broke your rod. Here she comes, Sam, good luck.

Hello. Can you believe this?

I fish here every day for 20 years and I break my rod.

-Break my rod!

-She's looking at you really weirdly.

Even her Mum is saying, "Let's walk away from this mad head!"

She ain't got a clue. She just thinks you're weird.

-I think you sabotaged me.

-No.

-I think you unwound a screw in my rod.

-I did not.

-I'm just a lot better at fishing than you.

-Did she suspect anything?

Absolutely nothing at all. Game on then. Round two.

It is game on. It's neck and neck.

Right, next step, can these two jokers pretend to be an OAP,

ask for directions to the WC without their target making a positive ID?

Let's see. Who writes this rubbish?

Anyway, go on, Mark! Show us how it's done.

-Looking good, mate.

-Feeling good, dude.

It's one-all at the minute and the girls don't suspect a thing.

So here we go. For round two, what you're going to do is pretend,

obviously, to be an old man on your mobility scooter.

-You need to ask her where the toilet is.

-Piece of cake.

And remember, as usual, if she says, "You're Mark", it's all over.

That's not going to happen, mate. Not on this one. Definitely not.

-She ain't got a clue.

-Here she comes.

Excuse me, do you know where the toilets are please?

-Toilets?

-I'm busting.

She's got no idea.

I've just come from up there.

Is that that way? All right. Thanks very much, love.

Have a nice day.

No idea.

She is the politest child in the entire world.

She's got no idea. You can tell in her face. She's got no idea.

-You're in this for the long haul, mate.

-Get in!

-I need to up my game.

Snakes and ladders, this is good stuff.

Mark takes a 2-1 lead. Up next, Sam.

You do realise that I'm 2-1 in the lead.

If she does get you on this one, it's game over. It's game over.

Yes, I understand this. I understand the rules of this game.

Here she comes.

Excuse me. Excuse me, love.

I don't suppose you know where the nearest toilet is, do you?

Round there?

That cafe.

So just round there? OK. Thank you. Sorry.

I had corned beef hash for my tea last night

and it's not doing any good for my tummy.

-Thanks very much, love.

-That's good.

-Thanks, love.

2-2.

-Get in!

-She did look at me a little strange, I must admit.

-I wonder why?

Well, just every day this, isn't it? Next one, come on. Let's do it!

2-2. There's nothing between them.

APPLAUSE

All right, OK, first thing's first, girls.

Do you see many fishermen that look like garden gnomes where you live?

-No.

-It's funny that!

My dodgy accent? Did that raise any suspicions?

Not the accent, really. It was just...

You looked really young from far away

and then you had a beard to the floor.

-That is strange.

-Well, round two saw the oldies come out to have a party.

-Maggie, did I make a believable granddad?

-Yes.

I thought it was an old man again. I don't know. I'm really gullible!

My little cousin was like, "Isn't that Mark?"

-And I was like, "No it's not, why would he be here?"

-Interesting.

-Gullible and we're great actors.

-Well, I wouldn't go that far!

So that left things finely poised at two apiece.

What we needed was to get in your face a little bit more.

-So, Olivia, do what you've got to do.

-Roll VT.

APPLAUSE

Can these two chancers

pretend they are politicians from the completely made-up IYF party?

Let battle commence!

Dude, you look amazing.

I feel like we've gone back in time to the '70s.

For this third challenge,

you need to pretend to be a politician, hence the outfit.

You need to knock on Maggie's door

and you need to tell her about your party and what you believe in,

and then hand her a leaflet at the end of it.

OK, understood. And it will be done.

Let's pump it up, get right in her face when you hand her that leaflet.

You're preaching to the converted here.

-I always do my job, it's you that's fluffing your lines.

-You are.

-Are you nervous? Here we go.

-Good afternoon, I'm from the IYF party.

If you would like to find out who we really are,

if you want to see us uncover our identity

or come face-to-face with the truth...

..then I was wondering if you would like a leaflet?

-Do you want to know some of what we do in the party?

-Yeah.

This is very important. Erm, I Yes Feel. That's what it means.

I Yes Feel?!

That's what we stand for. Find out who we really are...

-Uncover the truth...

-And come face-to-face with the truth.

Is that OK? All right, thank you very, very much.

-Thank you for your time.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

-I Yes Feel?!

I Yes Feel! It means In Yer Face! It was all very cryptic.

The best you could come up with is I Yes Feel?!

LAUGHTER

What a rubbish party! I'm not voting for you!

Shut up! It's your turn now, mate. You're in serious trouble, brother.

I Yes Feel?! What a load of cobblers. Right, come on, Sam.

It's 3-2 to my good self.

You've got to pretend to be a politician for the IYF party

-and you've got to put on your poshest accent.

-Okily-dokily.

POSH VOICE: Hello.

I'm from the IYF party,

I was wondering if you'd mind taking one of our leaflets

and putting it in your lovely front window here

so everybody can see that you will vote for the IYF?

Is that OK? Thank you very much.

If you don't mind sticking it there, that'd be great. Thank you.

All the best, have a lovely day. Goodbye.

-I can't believe that!

-I hope she sticks it in the window!

-OK, three-all.

-Excellent.

-All right.

-Let's go.

Right to the end, brother. Right to the end.

So, Sam pulls it back to three apiece.

It's time for round four - Manicure. Can Sam and...

Hang fire, who are these two lookers?

Crikey, what an absolutely cracking couple of birds. Off you go, love.

-You look beautiful.

-Five o'clock shadow's starting to appear.

If she doesn't recognise a woman with a beard, there's something wrong.

This is the fourth challenge, the big one, Mark.

You're dressed as a woman, you've got a beard,

being a beautician,

so when Maggie comes in, she's going to sit down with you,

so help get her nails looking nice, talk to her about her nails

and tell her if she looks after herself

-she'll be as beautiful as you.

-Wow, OK, I'll try my best,

but it'll be pretty difficult to look as beautiful as me.

The target has been spotted. Best of luck, mate.

If you sit here,

we've got a trainee who's going to paint your nails today.

Are you all right, Maggie?

SAM LAUGHS

I am!

-Rumbled!

-Oh, wow.

Was it the beard? I can't believe it!

Maggie, well done, high five! All right, when did you know it was me?

Just when you turned, I saw the beard.

The beard, five o'clock shadow. I knew I should've had a shave today.

We've been playing a game, Maggie, me and Sam,

a game called In Yer Face.

-You know the fisherman that looked like a gnome this morning?

-Yeah...

That was me.

The one that was asking you good morning and everything,

and you know the old-age pensioner who asked you where the toilet was?

That was me.

What you don't know is that Sam has been playing the same game

-with your friend Olivia.

-Really?

Yes. And, thanks to you knowing that I've got a beard

and I am Mark from Sam and Mark, he's got a chance of winning,

so we're going to find out whether Olivia will spot Sam

in this very salon.

Marks failure means the game is there for Sam to win.

A big moment for the little man.

If you don't get found out, you've won the game,

so this is very, very important.

You've got to do Olivia's nails.

I hope you're running scared, Rhodesy. You're out of the game.

I can take a diplomatic draw, but the way you're dressed,

if you beat me, I don't think I'll live this down.

Good look, mate. I mean that.

Hello, darling, how you doing? You all right?

What's your name, darling?

Olivia, nice to meet you, Olivia. I'm Bethany.

You're going to get your nails done today, yeah?

I can't believe she hasn't got him. He's got tattoos!

If you look after yourself every day... Look at me, I'm beautiful.

So if you look after yourself every day, you'll be as beautiful as I am.

How she's not getting you, I do not know.

I'm making a right mess of this.

Here we go. Let me do your thumb first, darling.

You are seriously freaking her out. She's saying "help" to her mum.

There you go. I'm sorry it's not a brilliant job.

-Is that all right?

-Yeah.

OK, well that's it, then, thank you very much, darling.

-I can't believe this, I've lost again.

-Bye!

You have lost again, which means Sam is the winner!

APPLAUSE

Right, first of all, Olivia, I know I make a terrifying looking woman,

but I can't believe you were so scared that you shouted for help!

-What was going through your mind at that point?

-Run!

LAUGHTER

I don't blame you, to be fair. Good answer.

Well, I did get away with it,

-so I'm happy cos I won the game!

-Yes, yeah, well done.

APPLAUSE

Yes, sadly, Maggie, you recognised me. What gave me away?

-Your beard!

-That'll do it!

And I'm sorry, I've just got to bring this up one final time,

-I Yes Feel!

-It's something that we should all live by.

-Really?!

-I don't think so! That was Mark Rhodes at his best.

-Or worst!

-Yeah!

I'm sure you'll all agree they've been fantastic sports.

-Give it up for Maggie and Olivia!

-Well done, girls.

APPLAUSE

There'll be more In Yer Face through the series.

You're probably thinking this show can't get crazier.

You're wrong, because we've got all this before the end of the show.

Pixie Lott is in the Wind-Up studio.

She's going to be giving us all the goss

and performing her No 1 single, All About Tonight.

The Finger Of Fun is poised and ready

to pick out two members of this

studio audience for today's Prize Surprise.

And they're red, they mess with your head and you wouldn't wear them in bed.

-Yes, it's the Underpants Of Chaos!

-And they're heading your way soon.

As well as all those reasons to keep watching,

you might want to stay tuned to find out why Mark's pet chimp is

practising his driving skills on a mobility scooter.

Ooh, that doesn't look good! His helmet fell off as well.

And you see these two lads here?

That is Ben and Ryan.

And they're just seconds away from an almighty surprise

and get this - they don't know anything about it.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Ooh, the door!

-The door. Lovely! That's nice.

It's the Finger Of Fun. Yeah!

Now, if you're new to Wind-Up and you don't know what the Finger Of Fun is all about,

he's in charge of finding someone who is fun, someone who is fun in this studio audience!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Finger Of Fun, it's up to you, find us a kid, but preferably two!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Who's it going to be?

Look at all these waving arms.

Hello!

It could be you.

Oh!

All right. The Finger has spoken and it looks like it's double trouble.

What are your names, Ben and Ryan?

OK, Ben and Ryan, get yourselves down here,

because it's time to have some fun, it's time for the Prize Surprise!

-All right, lads, how are you both?

-Fine.

-Are you enjoying the show?

-Yes.

-Awesome.

-Who are you here with today?

Our mum, our dad, aunt and our older brother, Jamie.

Oh, nice to see you.

It's like rent a crowd in there. Fantastic.

To be honest, lads, we already knew that.

That is not the only thing we know.

For example, we know that you, Ben, you have a pretty snazzy bedroom.

Check this out.

That, my friend, is out of this world.

All right, and, Ryan,

your bedroom is a little bit tasty also. Check this out.

-Nice.

-Wow.

-I tell you what,

when it comes to bedroom rooms, that is Premier League.

High five! Bring it! I love that.

Now, do you know why we know so much about your bedrooms?

Because they came around the house?

-Because we came round your house?

-Hey he's a spark plug.

Well, we didn't go round your house.

But earlier in the week when you guys went out

we sent someone around your house to have a mooch around.

And that certain person was Mark's pet chimp.

Guys, you might want to take a look at this.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes, as you can see, chimp got up to a bit of monkey business

and he's only gone and nicked a load of stuff from your rooms.

-What? Oh!

-Oh!

I know lads, but don't worry, because he's brought the stuff back into the Wind-Up studio.

But because he's a right mischievous chimp,

he's hidden a load of possessions behind these doors.

Right, there are 12 items in total and each item is part of a pair.

-Find a pair, win a prize. It's as easy as that.

-Let us demonstrate.

If I opened door No 1, I would find myself... Oh, a trophy!

-Who's trophy is that?

-Mine.

Nice.

Well, if we open door No 6...

Oh, we have got ourselves a mask. Whose is that?

I don't know!

-Oh, no, we have gone to the wrong house.

-Oh, no.

This is not going to work.

Well, let me just say that it's not a match.

So we'd close them doors, wouldn't we?

-Do you understand the rules?

-Yes.

-Excellent. In that case,

can we have 60 seconds on the clock, please?

Ben and Ryan, best of luck, choose a pair, pick a number.

-1 and 4.

-1 and 4 OK.

1 and over here...

Oh, a lamp.

-A lamp it is not a match.

-2 and 8.

-2 and 8.

OK, 2 and 8 - we've got a hat

and then we have got... Oh, a teddy of some kind.

-Pick another pair.

-7 and 10.

-7 and 10.

Oh, where is it? I'm really slow.

-A hat and then a trophy.

-Think about it, lads.

-1 and 10.

-1 and 10.

We have got a trophy and we have got another trophy.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-9 and 7.

-9 and 7.

Where's 9? That's not 9!

OK. Oh, it's a lamp.

-9 and 4.

-9 and 4.

Oh, 9 and 4.

-Oh, I'm too old for this! Yeah.

-Another one.

-8 and 5.

-8 and 5.

Teddy, teddy, teddy... and a Teddy!

-7 and 6.

-7 and 6 .

We have got yes and we have got... Ooh.

-Oh, no.

-That final one's not a match.

Oh, wow! Can I have a drink or something?

OK, I can confirm at the end of that, you matched three pairs.

Which means you have won three prizes each from the Wind-Up Prize Snatch.

But the drama doesn't end there. In fact, it's only just begun

because we're about to hit you with some good news,

but we're also about to hit you with some bad news.

The good news is that you could now win today's star prize...

a ping-pong table!

There it is.

Mark playing earlier in the week.

-I lost.

-Yeah, you lost.

SAM LAUGHS

Now, the bad news is, and you really will not believe this,

that naughty chimp has run off with the ping-pong bats and balls

and he's hidden them somewhere in the studio audience.

He's so naughty.

OK, now, as we've already established,

chimp loves playing games so he's going to help us find that prize

by playing a rather unique version of Hot Or Cold.

Come on out, Chimpy!

# I predict a riot... #

APPLAUSE

# I predict a riot

# I predict a riot. #

All right, all right. OK, guys, this is how it's going to work.

You need to choose either me or Mark.

We will then try and find that star prize.

When we get close to where it's hidden, our chimp will go crazy,

he'll get very excited and you'll hear him do this...

CHIMP SCREECHES

-Excellent.

-Getting weirder and weirder this show.

But if we're going in the wrong direction,

he won't like it and you'll probably just get this...

CHIMP SOBS

And nobody wants that.

You now need to make the biggest decision of your lives. Me or Mark?

Queue the overly dramatic tension music.

So, you need to choose someone who's fit,

who's willing to take action, take orders, knows what he's doing.

-So neither of us!

-I don't know where you're going to find them!

OK, lads, who's it going to be? Me or Mark?

-Sam.

-Me? You're saying me?

Thank goodness for that. I'm shattered.

-OK, Sam?

-Yep.

-You've got 60 seconds. The best of luck, mate.

-Let me undo my jacket.

-All right. In three, two, one, go!

Come on.

CHIMP SOBS

Oh, no. Cold, mate.

CHIMP SCREECHES

He likes it! It's somewhere in the audience. Come on.

CHIMP SCREECHES

He loves it.

We're warm. Sorry, sorry.

Are you going the right way?

CHIMP SOBS

Oh, no. He doesn't like it.

-CHIMPS SCREECHES

-He loves it!

-Come on.

-This way?

-Yes, yes!

Sorry, sorry, guys.

OK, are we close?

CHMIP SOBS

-Oh, no!

-You were closer there.

CHIMP SOBS

You are so close!

I got it! I got it!

CHEERING

Got it. It's here. I've got it!

HORN BLARES

You made the right decision, lads. Congratulations.

Let's have a look, see if it is the ping-pong balls.

Yep, they're there.

Yay! Well done.

Nice one. Congratulations, lads.

That means you've won today's star prize

and three prizes from the Wind-Up prize stash. That's worth it!

You've been fantastic sports.

Everybody, give it up for Ben, Ryan and our naughty chimp.

CHEERING

And, guys, we haven't finished with you just yet

because you've also won the right to play Win The Presenter.

-Excited?

-Yes.

OK, I tell you what, it's non-stop L-O-L good times on this show.

Don't believe me? Here's the proof.

Welcome to the weekend!

It's Sam and Mark!

Your dad isn't actually at the office today.

# I like it, like it

# Come on, come on... #

The foaminator!

# Come on, come on, come on

# I like it, like it

# Come on, come on, come on... #

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-Are you all right, Dad?

-Yep.

HE LAUGHS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, so if you've always wanted to find out who would win in a race

between Sam and a chimp, you probably want to stay tuned

because we're going to be finding out soon in Win The Presenter.

-Probably be me.

-Who knows?

Wind-Up wouldn't be Wind-Up without the odd celebrity guest.

And today's celebrity is a singer, a songwriter,

a dancer, an actress... You could say she's done the lot.

Check this out.

She's had three number one singles.

She's sold over one million albums.

She's been a judge on the X Factor.

And she's here in the Wind-Up studio.

# All about tonight. #

Please give a Wind-Up welcome to Pixie Lott.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-How you doing?

-I'm good. How you doing?

-Good. Thank you.

I was worried about you then, walking down those stairs in those heels.

I was really scared.

-We look like right short-uns compared to you.

-Yeah!

Lovely to have you on the show. How are you?

Thanks for having me. I'm doing good. Excited, busy.

How about you guys?

Very good, thank you.

It's been very busy for you, another hugely successful year.

What's been your highlight, other than sitting

-on the sofa talking to us?

-Obviously!

-Obviously!

So the highlight... I've been working on an album

since January and I've been really excited about it.

I've been in the studio for most of the year, really.

And it's out now, the album, we finally finished it

so I'm really excited about it. It's good to be back.

How would you describe your new album?

I would say it's definitely a more mature sound than the first one

cos I started writing that when I was about 14.

It's more soulful cos that's the music I grew up listening to.

You've still got some fun, up-tempo tracks so it's a combination.

-You've got a great soulful voice.

-Thank you.

What about acting? You appeared in that comedy film Fred last year.

-How was that for you?

-Really fun.

It was like a family viewing, younger audience, comedy,

so it was a load of fun.

Lucas who plays Fred, he's really lovely so we got on really well.

I'd love to do acting maybe in a few years

when I've got more time to focus on a proper character

and get stuck into the role. At the moment, it's busy with music.

-You were a guest on the X Factor last year, you were a guest judge.

-Yes.

-Do you enjoy doing that?

-I really enjoyed it.

It was a different experience because I'm used to being

on the other side, being auditioned, rather than being on a panel.

-It's the first time I've ever been on a panel.

-Yeah.

But I really enjoyed it. They made me feel at home.

I just loved the whole experience.

What do you reckon to this year's judging panel?

I think it's really cool that they've changed the line-up

to keep it exciting, keep the viewers interested.

So I think the judges are doing really well.

-Who's your favourite judge?

-That's a tricky one.

-It's got to be Barlow, surely.

-I do love Gazza.

-Yeah, you love Gazza! We all love Gazza!

-GB! GB!

We've done a bit of digging and we've looked up the old BBC archive...

-Oh, no!

-And we've unearthed a clip of a young Pixie performing.

Check this out.

# I flit

# I float

# I fleetly flee

# I fly. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I've got two questions.

How old were you when you did that?

I think I was about 13.

The second question is, what was going on with those outfits?

-What was that?

-I was asking the same thing.

It was for a tribute to The Sound Of Music.

-You had a great voice, even then. Crazy, yes.

-Definitely.

Thank you, you've been amazing to chat to.

-It's the lovely Pixie Lott, everybody.

-Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

All right. Stay tuned cos Pixie is going to be performing

All about Tonight live in the Wind-Up studio very shortly.

I'm going to give you another reason to keep watching.

It's time for Win The Presenter.

When I first heard about Win The Presenter,

I thought it was another one of their wind-ups.

I really can't believe they're giving themselves away.

Winning a presenter I think is off the chain,

but that's Sam and Mark for you. Those boys are absolute legends.

I just can't believe they're doing it. Crazy.

Who would I rather win? Sam or Mark?

You could have both or is that a bit greedy?

It would be better if it was Ant and Dec though, right?

I heard it's cos they didn't have any money for a real prize.

I'd rather win a holiday though.

Welcome to Win The Presenter

and let's find out which presenter they're playing for today.

He's 11 stone of pure Barnsley beef...

It's Sam Nixon.

Which means it's time to meet your host, Mr Mark Thomas Rhodes.

CHEERING

Hello. Welcome to Win The Presenter, the part of the show

where two families go head to head

to win today's star prize, Mr Sam Nixon.

There he is, looking lovely. Let's meet the families.

Dad, Darren, we saw you earlier

doing some rather tremendous robot moves.

Could you recreate that magic again? Let's have a look.

Oh, yes! I like that. I love that.

Lovely Georgia, would you like to introduce the rest of the family?

This is Louise, my sister, and my granddad.

Me and your granddad are old friends!

Give it up for the Packers, everyone!

APPLAUSE

To get your hands on him you have to beat the Cheaters

who I hope are going to play fair and square!

Good gag!

Ben and Roy, we met you and your bedroom a little bit earlier.

Tell us who you're with.

We're with our mum Theresa, and our brother, Jamie.

It's lovely to have you on the show. Give it up for the Cheaters.

APPLAUSE

If you're struggling for ideas of what to do with this special prize,

look at what our last winning family did when they won the presenter.

Oh, I've been expecting you. Come on in.

-I've got a few jobs for you to do around the house.

-OK.

Helmet, tool belt, cool.

Nitie tighty.

SINK GLUGS HE SIGHS

HE WHISTLES

Oh, sorry.

Hit it.

Aagh!

CRASHING

Thanks very much, guys. I hope that's given you inspiration

about what you could do if you win the presenter. Back to the studio.

It's the best of three rounds.

Let's kick off with round one. Sam, get ready.

It's time for Presenter Under Pressure.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Sam is wearing a pair of red pants a bit like a super hero.

These pants have special powers

because they are the Underpants Of Chaos!

THUNDERCLAP

I know, I know!

Shortly, I'll be asking Sam questions

about his home town of Barnsley.

When he answers a question incorrectly or takes too long,

we'll send a shock through those pants.

Sam, I think you should check they're working

-so everyone knows it's genuine.

-That's cruel!

-Here you go, I'm here.

-You're making me give myself pain?!

-Yeah.

-Oh!

Let me just...

-No! No! Aah!

-It's working!

-Stop it!

-It's good fun, that.

Lovely. I do like my job.

OK, families, all you've got to do is

guess how many questions out of ten you think Sam will get right.

You now have ten seconds to write down your answers. Off you go.

WHISPERING

Barnsley! This should be a walk in the park for you, mate.

-Yeah, mate.

-You reckon ten out of ten?

-Ooh, I hope so.

-Well, you're always saying that you're big on Barnsley.

-He says he should work for the tourist board.

-That's true.

Time up, families.

OK, I think it's time to throw a spoonful of tension music

and a splash of dramatic lighting into the mix.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Whoa! Oh! I can taste that, I taste the tension. Oh! Ooh!

-Sam...

-Yeah!

-..your ten questions start now.

What is the nickname of Barnsley Football Club?

-The Tykes!

-Correct. Is Barnsley a town or a city?

-Town!

-Correct. When did the first train station open in Barnsley?

1972!

-Wrong, 1850.

-LAUGHTER, BUZZ!

-Agh!

-Name the motorway that links Barnsley with the rest of the UK.

-M1.

-Oh, yeah. What is the phone code for Barnsley?

-The what?

-The phone code!

-01226!

-Oh, yeah. OK. Name the famous TV talk-show host whose original...

-Michael Parkinson.

-Right! Cricket legend, Darren Gough,

is from Barnsley. In what year did he win Strictly Come Dancing?

-2007?

-No, wrong, 2005!

Agh! BUZZ!

Yeah!

If you played "Barnsley" on Scrabble, how much would you score?

-Ah, seven?

-13.

-Unlucky for some.

-Agh! BUZZ!

What is the capital of Barnsley?

-What?

-What is the capital of Barnsley?

-B.

-Correct!

-SAM LAUGHS

I thought I'd get you with that!

OK, name the river that runs through Barnsley?

-Dearne!

-Correct!

-Oh!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Boom! Boom!

I must admit, I must admit you did very well.

That's your ten questions, Sam. I can confirm you got seven right!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-Very well done.

But the one remaining question is, how did our families do? OK,

we'll go with the Packers first. How many did you think?

6, not a bad guess at all. The Cheaters, what about you?

-7! All right!

-CHEERING

You can't get much closer than being correct.

That means that the Cheater family win the first round.

Next up, it's time for The Big Question.

CHEERING

Now, before we can ask you The Big Question,

I need to introduce you to a couple of very good friends of mine.

It's Sam and my pet chimp Chimpy.

CHEERING

Um...

A little bit surreal. Looking good, lads.

Now, as you can see, Sam and Chimpy are ready to race.

But the big question for our families is, who will win that race?

Before you make that decision, let me talk you through the course.

Sam and Chimpy will need to exit this studio,

around the hairpin bend, always a tricky bend as well,

over the slalom, through to the seesaw of truth and desire...

-SAM LAUGHS

-..then you've got the two tyre bend

and, hopefully, across the line first to the finish. All right?

OK, families, if you could write down your answers now, please.

Who do you think's going to win - Sam or Chimpy?

-Sam, any trash talk?

-I'm going to get you!

-Good one. Chimpy?

CHIMPY SQUEAKS

-You can't say that on national TV!

-That's just mean!

-You can't say it!

All right, OK, families, stop writing, please,

-because it's time to race.

-SAM: Oh!

-Gentlemen/primates...

-Yeah?

..start your engines!

ENGINES ROAR

Go, go, go. Oh, it's a good start by Chimpy!

He's on the inside line. Oh, look at that.

MARK LAUGHS

OK, faster. All right.

Ooh, oh...

Sabotage!

MARK LAUGHS

Chimpy's got a big lead.

-On the outside, on the outside.

-Oh, look at this!

He's absolutely annihilating Sam!

Oh, look. Who's going to win? Who's going to win?

Chimpy's gone over the seesaw. He only needs to get over the tyre.

Sam's coming back, but he's only got one tyre to go.

-He's going to beat him. He wins!

-SAM: No!

CHEERING

Come on in, Sam!

Oh, so Chimpy won the race.

Come back, Sam.

CHEERING CONTINUES

Unlucky, mate.

Go on, get back to your throne.

-You're a disgrace.

-LAUGHTER

OK, Packers, what was your guess? Ah, Chimpy. The lovely Chimpy!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-All right. OK, Cheaters, how about you?

-Chimpy.

-Chimpy!

-CHEERING

-They're not silly, are they?

It's 2-1 to the Cheaters. It's time to ask another Big Question.

APPLAUSE

OK, now, Packer family, you need to win this round to stay in the game.

When Sam was younger, he used to be in a band. They never made it big,

but you'll be excited to hear that we've got a clip of him in action!

Check this out!

# Let me entertain you

# Let me entertain you... #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Wow! Quality! OK, The Big Question is, how old was Sam in that clip?

-Families, you have ten seconds to write down your answer.

-(13).

-Packers, we're going to go with you first. What is your answer?

-11.

-You've gone for 11. Cheaters, what did you go for?

-13.

OK. Sam, can you remember how old you were in that clip?

I do remember and I was...13!

Which means the Cheater family have won, so they Win The Presenter!

Yeah! Well done! Nice one. I've got to say, Packer family,

you've been fantastic.

-Have you enjoyed yourselves?

-Yes.

-The Packer family, everyone.

So, the Cheater family, what are you waiting for? Go and get your prize!

-Come on over.

-A big thank you to both of our families.

Do with him what you will but make sure you bring him back next week.

-Bye, Sam!

-Bye!

-See you later.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, let's end the show with a bang.

Give it up for Pixie Lott and All About Tonight!

# I bought a new pair of shoes

# I got a new attitude, when I walk

# Cos I'm so over you

# And it's all about tonight

# I'm going out with the girls

# Ready to show all the boys what I got

# I'm letting go of the hurt

# Cos it's all about tonight

# Yeah, the night is alive You can feel the heartbeat

# Let's just go with the flow We've been working all week

# Tomorrow doesn't matter when you're moving your feet

# It's all about tonight

# We'll be dancing and singing and climbing up on the tables

# We'll be rocking this party So tell the DJ don't stop

# Grab someone if you're single Grab someone if you're not

# It's all about tonight

# And, boy, I'm not hanging on

# Cos I threw all your drama away

# Had something good but it's gone

# It's all about tonight

# They got the music so loud

# So I won't hear the phone if you call

# And we're so over now

# Cos it's all about tonight

# Yeah, the night is alive You can feel the heartbeat

# Let's just go with the flow We've been working all week

# Tomorrow doesn't matter when you're moving your feet

# It's all about tonight

# We'll be dancing and singing and climbing up on the tables

# We'll be rocking this party So tell the DJ don't stop

# Grab someone if you're single Grab someone if you're not

# It's all about tonight

# It's all about tonight

# It's all about tonight

# Oooh, oh-oh-oh

# Woo!

# Yeah, the night is alive You can feel the heartbeat

# Let's just go with the flow We've been working all week

# Tomorrow doesn't matter when you're moving your feet

# It's all about tonight It's all about tonight

# We'll be dancing and singing and climbing up on the tables

# We'll be rocking this party So tell the DJ don't stop

# Grab someone if you're single Grab someone if you're not

# It's all about tonight. #

Thank you very much!