Ben Shires Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

Why is this lady worried?

Why is this chap even more worried?

And which song will these two be performing later in the show?

Because this is the show where no-one is safe.

Welcome to Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up!

CHEERING

Welcome to the show that is winding up the world.

From the Studio Two in Salford, it's Big Friday Wind-Up.

My name's Daisy and I've just eaten a trifle in three seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the roles of Sam and Mark

will be played by Helen and Pat from north Wales.

CHEERING

Welcome to the weekend!

MUSIC: You And Me by The Wannadies

-Yeah!

-Look at this!

-Loving 'em!

Hey, if this isn't our best show yet,

then my name isn't Pat from north Wales. All right?

Yes, very soon we'll be going viral

with a member of our studio audience.

-But they don't know it yet.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

We'll be putting Ben Shires in a spin on the wind-up wheel.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

We'll take embarrassment to the next step in Parents On Trial.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

And find out what happened

when we created the world's worst theme park

to fool a Wolfblood superfan.

-OK, ready!

-Here we go. Here we go.

Welcome to the Wolfblood Train!

Please keep your hands inside the cart and remain seated at all times.

APPLAUSE

OK, ladies and gentlemen,

-we can reveal there is a celebrity among you.

-Very true, yes.

We know that one of you in the audience

is an internet sensation, with thousands of views on their channel.

-But who could it be?

-Well, there's only one way to find out.

Take a look at this.

Hi, guys. So, in this video I'm going to be doing a Q&A.

"Would you rather have no toes or eyes for kneecaps?"

I would rather have eyes for kneecaps

cos at the moment I've hurt my knee,

and, like, I'd have to close my eyes,

-so I could go to sleep.

-LAUGHTER

Yes, Connie from the West Midlands, we're coming to you!

-Hi, Connie!

-Hello, Connie!

-How are you?

-I'm good, thanks.

-Was that a bit of a surprise?

-Yes.

Now, Connie, other than being from the West Midlands,

which is awesome cos I'm from there,

how long have you been doing videos then?

-For about nine months.

-Nine months?

-OK!

-Excellent.

OK, now what sort of things do you post online?

-Challenges, videos from my friends and things like that.

-Nice.

Well, you've actually done a video about all your dislikes and likes.

-Shall we have a look at it?

-I think we should.

Yeah, let's have a look.

I have a slight, slight, slight fear...

-Well, a huge fear of bananas.

-LAUGHTER

-I love cheese.

-SAM LAUGHS LOUDLY

What's your favourite cheese?

-Red Leicester.

-Red Leicester. Loves a bit of Red Leicester.

-Got a love-hate relationship with yellow food.

-Interesting.

Listen, Connie, we think that you have definitely got a future

in presenting on TV.

If you could present on any TV show ever, what would it be?

-Friday Download.

-Friday Download. That's a good one.

Yeah, that's a good one. Any others?

-Um...this show.

-This show. Obviously, this show.

-Yeah, yeah.

I'll give you the money in a minute.

-Any others?

-Blue Peter! Oh, yeah, Blue Peter!

-Yeah!

-We've heard that you absolutely love Blue Peter.

-Yes, definitely.

Well, you are one step nearer to making your dream become

a reality, because we are going to give you your very own TV station.

We are indeed. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the launch of Connie TV.

Come on down, Connie! APPLAUSE

Welcome to the brand-new channel that is taking over the airwaves.

Well, this airwave, at least.

Connie, we are going to be testing your presenting skills

with a series of timed challenges.

For each one that you complete,

-you win a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

-Yeah.

-Does that sound good?

-Yes, it does.

-Yes, it does.

-Yes, it does.

-Excellent.

-OK. Now, first, Connie,

we would like you to present your own cookery show.

That sounds good, yeah. You've got 20 seconds to make a jam sandwich.

You must describe exactly what you're doing to the viewers at home.

Imagine you were James Martin on Saturday Kitchen, or something.

-Mary Berry.

-Yes, Mary Berry. You've got it. You've got it.

All right. Could you get in position?

And now on Connie TV, we present Cooking With Connie.

So, I have two pieces of bread and what I'm going to do,

-I'm going to get a bit of butter.

-Nice.

-Very good.

-A bit.

And I'm going to spread it on as fast as I can, as you do,

and then I'm going to pop open the jam, get the jam...

-OK, five, four...

-Put it on there.

-..three...

-Give it a taste!

-..two...

-And chop it in half!

-..one!

-LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Styled it out at the end. I love that! OK, you did very well there.

That looks so appetising.

I'm going to recreate it at home, I loved it so much.

It looks great, it really does.

-That means that you win a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

-Whoo!

APPLAUSE

OK, now time for the weather now. Let's step up to the map.

OK.

-Here you go.

-Why, thank you.

-LAUGHTER

Now, we are going to give you 30 seconds

to present a weather forecast.

But, Connie, you must include all of these six words in your forecast.

For example,

you could say, "It's hailing harpsichords in Hertfordshire."

Yeah, what he's saying is you can't actually list them.

-They've got to be in a sentence. Do you understand?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

-Best of luck.

-SAM CLEARS HIS THROAT

And now on Connie TV, it's time for The Connie Forecast.

-You can...

-MUSICAL JINGLE

You can see lots of sun going through Belfast

-and you can see it is raining bananas in Aberdeen.

-Nice.

-There is a big gerbil flying down from Glasgow.

-Gerbil. Yeah, good.

There's a big, fat harpsichord in Barnsley coming down.

-And a big Christmas pudding in Wolverhampton.

-Nice! Two more!

-And a big, green fog in Cardiff.

-All right, different sentence!

-LAUGHTER

-What's left?

-Sunshine!

-I did sunshine.

-Did you?

-Do it again! Do it again!

And there's a fat, big...hungry sunshine down in Plymouth.

There's a big, fat, hungry sunshine in Plymouth.

Well, I know where I'm not going.

Wolverhampton, for that massive pudding that's about to drop on it.

All right, I reckon we should give you another prize

-from the Wind-Up prize stash!

-CHEERING

It's getting more tricky now. It's time for your final challenge.

We are going to give you your very own chat show.

-Let's move into position. Off you go.

-Take a seat.

Now, Connie, sitting next to you is a real, live celebrity guest.

But there is a problem.

They've not had their make-up done, have they?

So they've got to wear a paper bag on their head.

And, to make it even worse, the microphone isn't working,

so they can only communicate using these Yes and No paddles.

OK, Connie, you have 45 seconds

to find out who the celebrity mystery guest is.

If you manage to do that, using your interviewing skills,

you will get tonight's star prize, people.

-Ooh!

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

But remember, Connie, you can

-only ask questions with yes or no answers. Understand?

-Yes.

Best of luck. Here we go. Posh voice.

SAM CLEARS HIS THROAT Now time for our final

programming of the evening, Connie and Company.

Do you have blonde hair?

Do you have brown hair?

Do you have blue eyes?

Do you have a dog?

Um...

Are you a broadcaster?

Are you from YouTube?

Are you off Blue Peter?

Ooh! SHE GASPS

Are you Lindsey from Blue Peter?

CHEERING

Whoo! Hello!

Thank goodness you didn't say Radzi!

That would have been awkward. Yes, it is indeed.

It's Lindsey from Blue Peter, everyone!

CHEERING What do you think of that, Connie?

-I'm so happy.

-Aw!

-Fantastic!

-And, Lindsey, what do you reckon?

-Do you reckon Connie's got a future in TV presenting?

-She's good!

That jam sandwich, you sold it to me.

-LAUGHTER

-It was the big bite at the end.

-It was lovely. Very good.

-Hey, I tell you what, it gets better

because you also win tonight's Mystery Star Prize.

Tell her what it is, Lindsey.

Connie, for being so great, we would love you

to come behind the scenes and have a studio tour of Blue Peter.

Iggy will be there, Barney, Radzi. We all want to be there

and show you around. How does that sound?

-Brilliant.

-Are you in?

-Yeah.

-Yes, good!

CHEERING

Connie, you have been a brilliant sport, you really, really have.

And it doesn't end there, because you'll be spending

the rest of the show in the VIP Wind-Down Zone.

-CROWD:

-Ooh!

And you're going to be playing our endgame later,

-so you could win even more prizes.

-Yes!

-It's turning into a very good day for Connie.

-What a wonderful day.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Connie

and the lovely Lindsey.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Great job.

Hey, guys, we're Bars and Melody.

And you could say that Sam and Mark are our biggest inspirations.

But that WOULD be a lie.

We do, however, suggest you watch Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

'Ladies and gentlemen,

'tonight, on the Wind-Up Wheel,

'Mr Ben Shires!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lovely, lovely Ben Shires.

How are you doing, mate?

-I'm WHEELy good.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh! Banter. Banter.

-Thank you.

OK, let's move on.

We've decided to make the celebrity interview a bit different.

Yes, that's why we're interviewing Ben Shires, instead of a celebrity.

LAUGHTER

I'm only kidding ya!

Now we're talking about the fact that you are on a giant wheel.

Here's how it works - we'll be spinning Ben round until he's dizzy.

If he lands on Truth, we'll ask him a meaningful question...

in a way.

But if it lands on Wind-Up, we'll give him a forfeit,

and it could be literally anything.

-BOTH:

-Ooh!

OK, best of luck. Guys? Let's...

-ALL:

-Wind up that wheel!

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

-# Ah, yeah

-Ah, yeah

# Ah, yeah

# Ah, yeah. #

Let's stop the wheel!

O-o-oh...

-BOTH:

-Wind-Up!

OK, Ben, could you please...?

Is this the Wind-Up, that I can't see anyone?

Exactly, we've all left.

Could you please pick a number between one and ten?

Ooh, can I go for number...

-..two, please?

-Ooh, OK.

Have a look.

Good one.

High five three people who are wearing glasses. Go!

-Can't be yourself.

-Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go that way.

# Go! Go! Go! Go! #

All right, madam. Oh, and you, sir.

# One more, one more, Ben, Ben, Ben

# Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben... #

Oh, yes!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-He did an extra.

-He did an extra.

-Four?!

Hey, high five yourself now.

-Oh.

-Yeah!

Well done, Ben.

Nice work. OK, audience, it's time to...?

-ALL:

-Wind up the wheel!

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

# Ah, yeah

# Ah, yeah Ah, yeah. #

Stop the wheel. Stop it! Stop it!

-Ooh, Wind-Up, just.

-OK.

-Oh!

Pick a number between one and ten -

I can't remember what you picked before.

-You picked two, you picked two.

-I picked two?

All right, I've have number five, please.

Number five, in the middle.

Huh! Do an impression of a tangerine feeling sad

because he's being peeled.

Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

-SAD VIOLIN PLAYS

-All right then.

-LAUGHTER

-Wow.

Surprisingly beautiful.

-Oh...

-Well done, Ben Shires.

-..wow.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-You should...

-Wow.

You're, like, an actor and stuff. You just...

-Aw, amazing.

-I mean, that was tough.

I normally do a mandarin, so the tangerine pushed it.

Oh, well done. We put you on the spot there.

OK. It's time to...?

-ALL:

-Wind up the wheel!

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

# Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah.

# Ah, yeah. #

SAM LAUGHS

-Stop the wheel.

-Stop it!

-Stop the madness!

-Stop it!

-BOTH:

-Truth.

OK, Ben Shires,

choose a number between one and ten, please.

Er, number ten, please.

-Ooh.

-Number ten.

-On a scale of 1 to 16.5...

-Yeah.

..how would you rate the overall friendliness

of people from Hull?

LAUGHTER

Obviously it's... You know, it's a good...

16.5, because they are Hullites,

and it's never dull in Hull.

-BOTH:

-It's the wrong answer.

-It's beautiHULL. What?!

-It's the wrong answer.

-That's an outrage.

It's actually 18.

We... We just didn't write it down.

-We tricked ya.

-You should have known that.

It's time to...?

-ALL:

-Wind up the wheel!

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

# Ah, yeah Ah, yeah. #

Stop the wheel.

-Ooh!

-Ugh.

-Wind-Up, Wind-Up.

-OK.

Ben Shires... BEN GROANS

..please pick a number between one and ten.

Er...what haven't I had? Three?

Three?

Huh!

Take your socks off and wear 'em on your hands.

-ENERGETIC PIANO MUSIC

-Are you wearing socks?

You look like the type who doesn't wear socks.

Me having to remove any clothing takes such a long time, guys.

Oh, come on.

HE HUMS ALONG WITH TUNE

AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG

SAM AND MARK CHEER

Nice socks!

-They'll keep your hands warm.

-Oh, they're lovely.

# Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely... #

Oh, you haven't thought this through.

MARK HUMS ALONG WITH TUNE

Here we go.

MARK HUMS, SAM LAUGHS

-Can you give me a hand?

-Sorry.

Hold on, hold on.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Get it on. Get it on.

OK, now do some puppeteering!

'All right, cockers?'

SAM AND MARK GIGGLE

-MUSIC ENDS

-'Hey, who are you?'

-'Guess!'

-Even the music got bored.

Even the music got bored! LAUGHTER

-Wow.

-That's a viable act.

-It's brilliant.

-I like it, I like it.

Thanks very much, Ben.

Aw, thank you, Ben. Have you enjoyed that?

Yeah, this is what I dreamed of when I...

LAUGHTER

When I left being a lawyer to become a TV presenter,

this moment right now, is it.

-Nice work.

-Yes.

-Well, I think

you've earned a well-earned rest in the Wind-Down Zone.

Go and join Connie in there, and we'll see you a little later on.

I'll get your shoe for you, Ben. I'll get your shoe for you.

Stick it on your hand.

Stick it on your hand, lad.

There you go. There you go. See you later, Ben.

You are officially amazing.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, he's a nightmare... RETCHING

-Oh, no!

-Sick everywhere.

Ooh, clean that up.

OK, so to meet another one of our friends - give it up for Edward!

All right, mate? Yeah!

Hey, Edward. How you doing, mate?

-Are you enjoying the show?

-Er...yeah.

-THEY LAUGH

-He's nervous. Don't be nervous.

-Oh, bless ya.

-You know what's to come, don't you?

Oh, bless you.

Well, recently we found out that Edward is a massive fan

of super-smash CBBC show Wolfblood,

so we decided to send our hidden cameras to the Wolfblood set to,

Er, really wind you up. Didn't we, mate?

HE EXHALES, THEY LAUGH

Aw, mate!

He thought he was visiting an amazing new theme park

based on the show,

but when we got there it wasn't what he expected.

Edward, if you'd like to do the honours, down camera number four...

Run VT.

Welcome to Wolfblood World.

You've seen the show, well, now you

can experience all things Wolfblood.

'It's a brand-new attraction

'packed full of fun.

'See props from the series,

'experience the adrenaline-fuelled Wolfblood Train,

'and get up close and personal with the stars of the show.'

Sound too good to be true?

Well, it is.

This isn't a real attraction.

Yeah, we may have created Wolfblood World

just to give one fan of the show an unforgettable experience.

-Unforgettably rubbish.

-Ha-ha! Yeah!

Our fan believes that he's been given the opportunity

to come on the Wolfblood tour before it opens to the public.

But what he doesn't know is

that everything he's about to see and hear is totally made up.

HE HOWLS

-What you doing?

-Being a wolf, aren't I?

-Excellent.

There's our Wind-Up actor, Rob.

He's going to be Edward's tour guide around our

thoroughly underwhelming Wolfblood World.

-Rob?

-Good afternoon.

-Rob, this is Edward.

-Edward? Come in.

-Lovely to meet you.

-After you.

-Are you well?

-Yep.

You get your Wolfblood fleece on.

Backpack off, if you wouldn't mind.

-So how big a fan are you?

-Um, quite big, yeah.

The biggest fan in the world?

So you'll probably be quite excited about checking out

our new theme park - our experience centre?

-WOLF HOWLS

-'PAWS for thought as you

'get the chance to identify

'props from the Wolfblood series.

'HOWL...

'will you contain your excitement?'

Probably quite easily, as most of these props

are totally made-up and absolutely rubbish.

So this is one of the chairs, I don't know if you remember.

That was actually one of the rocks from the series.

-STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-There's only another 3,429.

Edward doesn't look too impressed so far -

let's keep the Wolfblood junk coming.

The alarm clock -

-you recognise that from the bomb disposal episode?

-Whoa.

Oh, he likes that one.

-And, obviously, the Bradlington Police?

-Yeah.

-That had that on the front.

-Yes, exactly.

Magnetic, bang - instant police.

Now this we have to be really careful with.

Do you know whose hand that was?

It was actually Rhydian who's done that for us,

-and basically...

-PINS CLATTER

Ah. Um...

-Could you do me a favour?

-Yeah?

-Could you just...?

Yeah. That'll...

We'll... Certain things are still work in progress.

We can tell people it was Rhydian,

when he was perhaps younger and he had smaller hands.

STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Was that one of the prop wolves they used in the series?

It absolutely was. You can stroke him, he won't bite.

HE BARKS

-So are you enjoying it so far?

-Yeah.

That didn't sound very convincing, Edward,

and it only gets worse.

Um, and this is an envelope.

Perhaps it's time to leave the props there.

Shall we move onto the next part? Any questions so far?

Er, not really, no.

What, not even "Why is this so rubbish?" Fair enough.

Onto the next stage of the Wolfblood World tour.

Come through, Mum.

Experience what it's like to be part of your very own wolf pack!

You've seen the wolf, now it's time to become the wolf.

Now then, obviously Wolfblood,

incredible make-up and effects they use,

and the wolves are absolutely superb.

Do you fancy doing a bit of that yourself?

-Yeah, sure.

-Before...

and after.

LAUGHTER

So the first thing we need is a bit of a nose,

so I want you to paint it in, use the mirror as a guide.

Yes!

Now we need a few bags under the eyes.

Edward is happily giving the face paints a go,

so it's only fair that Rob joins in too.

There is always a fine line between scary wolf and circus clown.

And to top off the Wolfblood look, let's finish with some fur.

-You look brilliant.

-Now that Edward's wolf-ified...

Right, come on with me.

..it's time for Mark to get into position for

the next part of our attraction - the Wolfblood Train.

(Off you go, Mark.)

Ride the Wolfblood Train!

Take a trip on the wild side

and experience what it's like to feel the wind through your fur.

STEAM WHISTLE

(It's not a train as well.

(It's like a wheelbarrow.)

So it is a full, 360-degree experience.

I want you to pop your hat on here for me.

If we get it under your wolf hair.

Not that he will actually be needing the helmet for this ride,

but Edward doesn't know that.

Right, and then, carefully, I want you to get in the cart.

Don't jump when the scary guy comes out.

'Time for my big wolf moment.'

Two minutes, mate.

LAUGHTER

You're going to do it more than that on the day, aren't you?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-More scary.

It's supposed to be a bit more sort of spooky and things.

-'OK, ready.'

-You OK?

-Yeah.

-All right.

Here we go, here we go.

'Welcome to the Wolfblood Train.

'Please keep your hands inside the cart and remain seated at all times.

'Warning - this ride is not for the faint-hearted.

'Scream if you want to scream faster!'

Can you turn it up a bit?

LAUGHTER

'Now relax, sit back and enjoy the ride.'

You've got to listen to the...

'You are about to hear a selection of excerpts

'from the Wolfblood series.

'Play along and see if you can recognise these iconic moments.

'Here we go!'

LONG HOWL

Rarr.

'Did you get it? What about this one?'

DIFFERENT HOWL

That was Rhydian, I think.

'Well done! And who could forget this memorable scene?'

HOWL TURNS INTO SPLUTTERING COUGH

MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT AND RESUMES HOWL

-Yeah, I don't...

-I don't think that's...

-I don't know that one.

'We hope you have enjoyed the ride. Goodbye.'

So what does Edward make of the amazing Wolfblood Train?

-I think, like, without the lights...

-Without the lights?

-Yeah, a bit more...smoke.

-Oh, is the red not...?

I mean, do we need more people in wolves' clothing?

-Or does that cheapen it a bit?

-Mm.

-(Is it a bit rubbish?)

-No, no.

No? Brilliant. That's good.

Well, that went better than expected. Let's move on.

You've howled at the moon, now it's time to look at the stars.

The real stars of the show, that is.

Pull this off here.

-Photo with the stars.

-LAUGHTER

Well, not quite WITH the stars,

more a photo of a photo of the stars.

Have a quick look.

-Ohh...

-Yeah?

So you get a little, you know...

-The photo, when we take it, will look like the actual people...

-OK.

..behind you.

Edward's all set to have his picture with a picture of the stars,

but after such a rubbish day,

maybe it's time for something that's actually really cool.

Let's get him out of the way whilst we add one final touch.

Jack, there's no SD card in the stills part of the camera.

OVER WALKIE-TALKIE: 'Is there not?

'Come to reception and I'll sort it out.'

OK. Sorry, just come with me a second.

Now that the coast is clear,

it's time for some real-life Wolfblood stars.

Jana and Kara are now in position.

Let's get this out of the way.

There we go, stand there, thank you, memory card in.

OK. Sorry, the, er...

And then I'll get you to say "cheese"

and we'll get you out of here.

Sorry about that. OK...

OK, one, two, three - cheese!

Edward's got no idea

that the stars of his favourite show are right behind him.

-Hi, Edward.

-Hello.

-LAUGHING:

-Hello!

APPLAUSE

-How are you?

-Good.

-Surprised?

-Yeah!

-Very.

-You look so confused. You're about to get even more confused.

-How you doing?

-How you doing, mate, you all right?

What, is this a prank?

It's a small one, you're actually on Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

That is amazing.

You girls have been in on it, your mum's been in on it, by the way.

-I want a go on the Wolfblood Train.

-And me.

It could have had a few improvements.

-Did we get you good?

-Yeah.

-We've got one more surprise.

You are actually going to have a bit of lunch with the cast

and you're going to have a look at the proper set.

-So you can stay here all day if you want.

-Yay.

-ALL:

-Yay!

APPLAUSE

You were so polite during that - it was the worst theme park ever!

You were brilliant, you really were.

But the thing that we all want to know, big fans of Wolfblood,

you did actually get to go behind the scenes of the set, didn't you?

-Yes.

-So, any secrets, can you tell as anything about the new series?

My lips are sealed.

-SAM AND MARK:

-Aww!

What about Rhydian, is Rhydian coming back?

-He's not budging.

-Answer the question.

-Answer it!

-He's not answering it.

Well, I think we have put you through enough today,

and I think you deserve a reward.

So you'll be spending the rest of today's show

in the VIP Wind-Down Zone. Does that sound good?

-Better.

-Better!

All right, give it up one more time for the brilliant Edward.

Go on, Edward, we'll see you in the Wind-Down Zone. See you later, mate.

-Bless him.

-Right now, though, here's what else is coming up

on Big Friday Wind-Up.

Mark tests his facial awareness.

It's all about that crank in Splat In The Box.

And join us for even more in the Weekend Wind-Down.

-GAVEL BANGS

-'Oi, you lot, no silence in court!'

CHEERING

'Please rise for His Worship, Lord Justice Rhodes.'

I am going to pass a sentence.

HE BELCHES

SMALL BURP

And the sentence is...

Hmm.

It's a lovely sentence.

JOLLY MUSIC

Hold this.

'And the hotshot parent prosecutor, Samuel Rita Nixon, accusing.'

It is time to find out whose parents are guilty

of criminally embarrassing behaviour.

Like you, Liz!

We've heard about you...

and your HORRIBLE singing.

-Is this true?

-It's really bad.

-Are these your children?

-Yes.

-Is it true?

-Yes.

-Does mum sing really badly?

-Yes.

-Shall we hear it now?

-Yes.

OK, let's hear it. Take the mic.

Come on, sing us a song.

-TUNELESS:

-# Hello from the other siiide

# I must have called 1,000 tiiiimes... #

That's enough of that.

How do you find the defendant?

Guilty. Apologise.

First, apologise to the world.

-I'm so sorry.

-And now apologise to your children.

I'm really, really sorry.

It was really bad, that, I don't know how you put up with it.

But you're not the only one, Liz!

There's more embarrassing parents around here.

KIDS SHOUT OUT

Like you, Ben!

-What have I done wrong?

-What have you done wrong?

-You know exactly what you've done wrong. Is this your daughter?

-Yes.

-Samia, is it?

-Yes.

-How you doing, Samia?

Good.

I hear that you've got a trick

that you do with your two front teeth.

Look down that camera right there and do it. Show us.

Eugh!

LAUGHTER

How is that even physically possible?

You have got matching teeth.

Let's have a smile, get you two together,

have a smile down that camera.

SAM LAUGHS

This is highly embarrassing, how do you find the defendant?

Guilty! Apologise. Mah!

LAUGHING: Apologise to the world.

I am very, very sorry for embarrassing my daughter.

Yes, and now apologise to Samia.

I am very, very sorry, Samia, I will never do it again.

Aww. That's nice.

These are barely crimes at all.

We need to find a big-time crook.

In that case, it is time to call today's star witness.

It's you, Miles!

Please join us in the Wind-Up Courtroom for Parents On Trial.

Come on, you!

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-Order! Order!

Miles, have you any idea why you're standing before this court today?

Er, because my parents are quite embarrassing?

-Well...

-Hm...

I put it to you, Miles, that your father is a frustrated performer.

Take a look at this video footage we unearthed.

# Everybody was kung fu fighting... #

AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

# It was so terribly frightening... #

What do you think of that, Miles?

-It's very embarrassing.

-Indeed.

-Lovely kitchen, though, Miles.

-Yes.

-Lovely kitchen. Anyway!

Let me ask you, Miles, what is your favourite show on CBBC?

The Next Step.

Next Step? What on earth is The Next Step?

It's a very popular television show, Your Honour.

Television? What on earth is television?

It... Forget it.

Miles, seeing as your father is such an expert in dancing,

do you think he could ever get a part in The Next Step?

-Um, no.

-Hmm...interesting.

Well, listen to what he had to say to the Parents On Trial police

when he was interviewed earlier.

Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was dance.

I have a gift the whole world should see

and I want to make my dream a reality.

LAUGHTER

# We...we're going to show the world

# Everything we're made of

# We're going to tear the roof off this place... #

Miles, where is your father today?

He's supposed to be at golf.

-Supposed to be at golf.

-Well, guess what, Miles?

He isn't!

It's time to bring out the accused, Miles's dad, Richard!

Whoo!

MUSIC: Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's hear it for Richard, everyone!

CHEERING

Sorry...sorry, I don't know what came over me, there.

-Miles, what did you make of that?

-It was very embarrassing.

Yes, it was, wasn't it?

Time to reach a verdict, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

Do you find the defender guilty or not guilty?

Oh, dear. Now, what do you have to say in your defence?

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-No comment.

-IMITATES RICHARD:

-No...no comment.

LAUGHTER

I sentence you to the next 20 minutes

putting the correct lids on felt tips.

Mr Shires, send him down.

Get him in there.

Put the lids on the pens.

Sort out the lids on the pens.

Well, justice has indeed been served here today.

But, Miles, I think you deserve a reward for testifying,

so we're going to give you a brand-new tablet!

-Great!

-Excellent stuff.

And that's not all, because pretty soon, Miles,

you and your family are going to be going up against

Connie and her family in tonight's grand finale,

so you might win some more prizes.

Go and join Connie in the Wind-Down Zone and we'll see you later on.

Give it up for Miles, everyone!

APPLAUSE AND BANGING

Hello. It's Mark Wright here from The Dengineers, and every Friday,

when Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up comes on,

I build a den...with no telly.

-Is everyone here enjoying the show?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

Well, seeing as everyone is happy,

I think it's time to play a game that we like to call

The Great Face Race.

This is the part of the show

where Mark literally faces members of our studio audience.

Mark, has anyone got what it takes to beat you, man?

No chance whatsoever.

-BOOING

-Look at this face.

Lots of people putting their hands up, saying they could.

Oh! Easy putting your hand up. It's another thing doing it.

-Whoo!

-All right, all right!

It's time to find out whose faces you're about to face.

AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME

It's Amani and Joella from Surrey! Come on down!

This way - over here, over here. Over here, over here.

Come here, come here.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Let's do it again.

Yeah!

One more...

-Beautiful.

-Are you having a good time over there?

-Having a lovely time.

-That's about to change - argh! Hngh!

You're just making yourself look silly, mate.

Doubt that's even possible.

OK - girls, tell us, why do you reckon you can beat Mark?

-Joella, take it away, please.

-Because we're awesome!

And have you been beaten by two 11-year-old girls?

It's actually quite good.

Because you're going to get beaten by...us.

SAM LAUGHS

High five to that, girls.

Well, the aim of this game is very, very simple.

On these boards are the expressionless faces

of five celebrities.

Next to them are their eyes, noses and mouths, all jumbled up.

You guys have one minute to put the right features

on the right face, OK?

On your marks, get set...face-off!

This one, this one - you said this one, isn't it?

-Um...which one?

-This one.

OK. Mark's gone for Clare Balding, first. He's got a soft spot for her.

He's got a soft spot for her.

-Girls, how are we doing over here?

-Good.

-Going for the eyes first?

Interesting...OK.

No...oh...!

-This one, this one.

-Interesting, interesting.

OK, keep going, guys. Mark, how are we doing?

-Fantastic!

-Doing well.

-This one.

-No...

You've got 30 seconds left. 30 seconds left.

-Mess everywhere!

-Mark, if I was you...

-You pipe down!

-Er...I don't know!

-Ellie Goulding!

-Oh, my gosh!

-OK. Excellent.

-That is... No.

-You've got 15 seconds left, guys.

-Argh!

Have a good look at them.

I've got wrong one...

-You've got ten seconds.

-What?!

-Mark's finished. Are you happy, Mark?

-Yeah!

Four, three, two, one...

Stop! OK. OK. Right. Time is up.

To help judge this fantastic competition,

please welcome back the lovely Lindsey from Blue Peter.

Oh, yes! Wow!

-Oh!

-Yeah, man.

-Tired after that.

-That was good, that.

So, Lindsey, you are going to help us judge this face-off.

We're going to start over here, first.

We're actually going to start with Tess Daly.

So, first all, there's the real Tess Daly.

What are you thinking, Lindsey?

I'm trying to work out if that's the right mouth.

-It kind of suits her.

-It does.

I like what you've done with the face.

I don't think you should be worried about the mouth, to be honest!

-I'm trying to be positive!

-OK, OK. Let's go over to Mark's.

OK, so, there's the real Tess Daly. There's Mark's interpretation.

Something's gone wrong, there.

Nah, it's like looking in the mirror.

Lindsey, it is up to you - who does it go to?

Does it go to the girls or Mark?

Who made their face look more like Tess Daly's face?

-I've made my decision.

-It's magnificent.

It's not Mark. It's the girls!

One point to the girls. OK. Next one.

-Clare Balding - ooh.

-What a woman.

So, there's the real Clare Balding.

Again, it's different to what she looks like, but it's nice.

It's... Yeah.

SAM LAUGHS

You've tried. You've tried with that one.

-We like a trier on this show.

-Like a trier.

Speaking of triers, let's go over to Mark. OK, what do we reckon?

-Now, it's weird, but I like it.

-Interesting.

There's something about that strange nose that I'm enjoying.

OK. Which is the most accurate out of the two?

-I'm giving it to Mark.

-It's one each!

I knew Clare wouldn't let me down.

Next up, the lovely Matt Baker. OK.

He's gone a bit skewhiff on the eyes

and he's got a weird thing here, coming out of his nose.

-Wow, that was disgusting!

-What do we think, Lindsey?

I mean, it looks nothing like Matt Baker, I've got to say,

but it's another good attempt.

-OK.

-A bit wobbly.

Over here - Mark? What do we think of Mark's?

-Mine's magical.

-I think that's quite good, again.

It's less Picasso than that one.

Who are you going to give the point to?

I'm going to have to give it to Mark, again.

-Oh!

-It's 2-1 to Mark.

2-1 to Mark. OK.

Ricky Wilson. Here we go.

SAM LAUGHS

I wish they actually looked like this,

cos these faces are great.

That's OK. Again, you girls seem to like wonky eyes,

which is fine - nothing wrong with a wonky eye.

Nothing wrong with that.

And the mouth is different, I think. Is that the wrong mouth?

-I can't tell.

-Yeah.

-That mouth's open, that mouth's not open.

There we go. Well judged, Lindsey from Blue Peter.

-My Ricky Wilson's puckering up.

-This is interesting.

LAUGHTER

-Something's gone wrong, here.

-Yeah.

-He's also a bit female, there.

-He is a little bit.

-You've made him a bit ladylike.

-Yes.

-I'm going to have to give this one to the girls.

Oh, interesting! It's two each.

Whoever gets this one is the winner and it's Ellie Goulding.

# And we're gonna let it burn... #

That's my impression of Ellie Goulding, by the way.

OK, right...

SAM LAUGHS

-OK...

-Difficult one.

-Now, listen...

-The eyes are wrong.

She doesn't look like Ellie Goulding.

Ten out of ten!

-Ten out of ten, you reckon?

-All the points.

You want all the points?

This is the decider. Let's got over to Mark's.

My Ellie Goulding is not happy.

-Whoa! Looks like a witch.

-Your Ellie Goulding is livid

and...I'm not sure what she's livid about.

Probably cos she's got the wrong nose...

-She's about to sing a power ballad.

-She's not...

She's not singing anything with that mouth, is she?

To be fair, Lindsey from Blue Peter, both the Ellie Goulding attempts

are pretty bad, so you've got a tough decision

on your hands, here.

-Oh...

-Whoever wins this will win Mark Versus. It's up to you.

-You can take this, now.

-The pressure!

-Are you going to give this to the girls?

-OK.

Or are they going to not walk home with it

and Mark just be victorious and he'll be very happy and smug?

-I've got to go with my heart on this one.

-OK.

-You have, yeah.

-OK?

-Yeah.

-This is going to...

-Come on...

Wahey!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You've let me down there, Ellie! You've let me down.

That's offensive. That's why I couldn't got for that.

Congratulations, girls, you have just won the I Beat Mark trophy.

Hold it up in the sky with pride. FANFARE

Congratulations - you are going to be spending the rest of the show

in the VIP Wind-Down Zone.

We'll see you later on.

Give it up for Amani and Joella, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello! I'm Joe Swash and when I'm not busy,

I like to watch Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up,

but I'm often busy, so...

I don't watch it, sorry.

Welcome to the splattiest, boxiest game on TV.

-It's got splats.

-It's got boxes.

And it's called Splat In The Box.

THUNDER RUMBLES, EVIL LAUGHTER

-Let's welcome back our star players.

-Connie's team.

-And Miles' team!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Connie, introduce your team, please.

This is my cousin, Rosie, my dad, Kevin, and my mum, Emma.

Lovely to have you here, guys. Miles, introduce the gang, please.

This is my best friend, Nat.

This is my dad, Richard, and this is my mum, Alison.

Lovely.

-This is a game of chance.

-And skill.

Each team will take turns to step up to...

BOTH: ..The Box Of Horrors.

THUNDERCLAP, CACKLING

Once there, you will have just ten seconds

to answer a general knowledge question.

But be quick, because the longer it takes you to answer,

the more times you will have to turn that crank.

For example, if you take three seconds to answer,

that means three full turns of the crank.

But don't get one wrong - no, no.

Cos if you do, we have a triple T situation on our hands.

Mark, I'm confused - what is a triple T situation?

I'll tell you, Sam.

It's when a team must wind up the crank for a maximum...

TEN TERRIFYING TURNS!

HE CACKLES

Nobody in the studio will know how many turns will make the box open.

But when it does, one team is getting covered in slime - oh, yeah!

Mm - then the other team wins the game.

Which means they will go home with tonight's star prize,

-a games console! AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

OK. For our viewers at home,

time to find out how many turns will open the box tonight.

If you don't want to know, close your eyes now.

Now, to decide who goes first, Sam here has a genuine 1 Smark coin.

Miles, what will it be? Will it be Sams or Marks?

-Er, Marks, please.

-OK.

-Good flick, mate.

-Thanks, mate.

-Here we go.

-Sams.

-Ooh, OK.

-Ooh.

Which means, Connie, you and your team will be going first.

If you'd like to step into position, please.

Now, your time will start when Mark finishes asking the question.

Good luck.

Which word has more letters - "daffodil" or "Dalmatian"?

-Dalmatian?

-Dalmatian.

Correct. Well done, Kevin.

You answered that in four seconds, which means four full turns.

Who's going to be doing the honours?

Connie, if you'd like to step up, please.

One.

Two.

Three.

-Four.

-Whoo!

OK. Teams, swap positions.

Good luck with this one.

Who was Henry VIII's fifth wife?

-Catherine Howard.

-Correct!

Come here, you. Come here, you, well done. Well done.

That lad goes to school, well done.

-You answered that in four seconds. Well done, Nat.

-Well done, Nat.

-Who's doing the honours?

-Me.

-Miles, here we go. Four full turns.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four!

OK, teams, please swap over.

-We're getting to the business end now.

-Yeah, we are.

OK...

what is 4 squared + 3 - 7?

-12.

-Correct. Kevin, wow!

You answered that in three seconds,

which means the three full turns, Connie.

Rachel Riley over here!

One.

Two.

-Three.

-Well done.

Catherine Howard, that was close!

OK. Swap positions.

Oh, Miles.

THEY LAUGH

-How are you feeling, Miles?

-Scared.

Don't be scared. You never know.

Which unit of measurement is larger? A pint or a litre?

A pint.

It's wrong. It's a litre,

which means ten terrifying turns.

-Who knows?

-You never know. You never know.

We don't know when it will appear, but ten turns.

Here we go, Miles.

That's one.

-Two.

-That's it.

-Three.

-That's it, Miles.

-Four.

-Come on, nearly there.

Five.

Come on.

Six.

Oh, guys, so sorry.

-How are you feeling, Miles?

-Slimy.

Hey, don't worry, because you did win that tablet early on.

We won't be sending you home empty-handed from this catastrophe.

We'll be giving you a commemorative Smark coin set. Is that all right?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

-You've been fantastic sports,

please give it up for Miles's team, everyone.

Be careful as you walk out, be careful.

Well done. Connie's team, come over here. Well done.

You did brilliantly. You are home and dry.

-You win tonight's star prize, a games console.

-Yeah!

Connie, you've got a behind-the-scenes look

-at Blue Peter as well.

-I know!

-You've had a cracking day today, haven't you, Connie?

-I know.

All right, let's hear it for both our teams,

and especially a round of applause for Connie's team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, that's it from Big Friday Wind-Up.

A big thank you to you, lovely audience.

-Give yourselves a round of applause.

-Excellent.

-Lovely as always.

Hey, it's not over yet.

Because the Weekend Wind-Down is just about to begin.

You are now all invited to our after-show VIP Wind-Down party.

We're hanging out with everyone we've surprised tonight.

The Officially Amazing Ben Shires will be there.

He is Officially Amazing.

We've got games, gossip and behind-the-scenes extras.

What are you waiting for? Come on, give me that camera, you.

-Give me that camera.

-I'm going.

-I'll film you, I'll film you.

Come here! Come here, you. Come here, come here!

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

How you doing? We wound up the week.

Now it's time to wind down for the weekend.

Welcome to our exclusive VIP Wind-Down room.

-Look at all this! It's lovely.

-It's lovely!

-Come over here.

Because if you didn't see Big Friday Wind-Up,

here it is in a 30-second recap scenario.

Here we go.

So we kicked off with an amazing transformation.

We gave Connie her very own TV station

and she made a jam sandwich in 20 seconds.

I'll be making that when I get home.

Ben Shires put his socks on his hands

-and did an impression of an upset tangerine.

-Course he did, nice.

Miles' dad, Richard, got a part on The Next Step in Parents On Trial.

And we made some accurate depictions of celebrities

when we played the Great Face Race.

And Connie's team beat Miles' team in Splat In The Box.

So there you have it. That is Wind-Up round-up in just 30 seconds.

Mark, sum it up in three woods.

-Melon, pigeon, silliness.

-Excellent.

Let's go over here. All right, guys?

Yeah! Whoo!

Look who's here - Connie, Miles, Miles' dad, Richard. All right?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-Good dancing, player.

Now, these two got massively gunged on Big Friday Wind-Up earlier.

Is there still some in your hair? No, we're all right.

-Are you enjoying yourselves?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

Connie, you're a budding broadcaster,

-are you picking up some tips tonight?

-Yeah.

Good, good, that's the right answer.

We'll speak to you in a second, but over there, who's that?

It's one of the Shires.

-I think it's...Ben Shires.

-Ben Shires!

CHEERING

-Come here, you.

-All the better for seeing you two.

-Oh, stop it, but don't ever stop.

-No.

-You look so lovely, Ben Shires.

I've got to compete with this, haven't I?

-Thanks, mate.

-You look like you're from the past, it's amazing.

You are the presenter of Officially Amazing.

-But you are officially amazing.

-True.

So, we're going to do a quiz that means you have to answer

-the questions we're asking you officially amazingly.

-Right.

-OK, understood?

-Got that.

-Question one.

-I'm glad you understood it.

You have to say this as fast as possible -

that will make it officially amazing.

What are the colours of the rainbow?

Red, yellow, green, purple, orange and blue.

-I can single rainbow too.

-Amazing.

-That's amazing.

In your highest voice, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

HE LAUGHS

-IN HIGH VOICE:

-This morning,

I had cereals and milk and disappointment.

-Amazing!

-It's amazing!

One last question. Here we go.

In your highest voice, standing on one leg, spinning around,

and patting your head, name three British Prime Ministers.

-Go, go, go!

-Here we go.

-Standing on one leg.

-OK.

-Spinning around, patting your head.

-Right.

Highest voice.

-SCREECHING:

-David Cameron.

Benjamin Disraeli.

William Ewart Gladstone.

-I don't even know who any of those people are. That's amazing!

-Amazing!

We love you, Ben Shires, from Officially Amazing.

-But who have we got over here?

-It's Edward.

-Yeah!

-Hello, mate.

-How are you doing?

-Um, good.

-Good, good.

Now, Edward here is a massive fan of CBBC show Wolfblood.

So, when we found this out, on Big Friday Wind-Up, we took

our hidden cameras to the set of Wolfblood and Edward thought he was

taking part in Wolfblood World which is a brand-new tourist attraction.

-It's horrible.

-It's terrible, we were winding him up, it was awful.

Then we took you on the worst rollercoaster

in the history of the world ever. Let's look at this.

-OK, ready.

-Here we go. Here we go.

Welcome to the Wolfblood Train.

Please keep your hands inside the cart and remain seated at all times.

What did you think, sitting in that wheelbarrow, dressed as a werewolf?

I wanted to say it was awful, I kind of knew it was a prank in a way.

-Were you starting to catch on at that point?

-Yeah.

But just in case it wasn't, I didn't want to say.

But did you enjoy yourself that day?

-Yes.

-Cos after that you did get to go on the set, didn't you?

-Yes.

-That must have been fun.

-It was.

Are you still not going to tell us what happens in Wolfblood?

-I'm sorry, I can't.

-Fair enough.

-Fair enough.

Thanks for being such a fantastic sport. Edward, everybody!

-Come over here.

-We've got Amani and Joella. How are you doing, girls?

-Good.

-Good.

On Big Friday Wind-Up, these guys went up against Mark.

-They smashed you!

-Well, it was 3-2.

But you did beat me, well done.

-Now, Big Friday Wind-Up, we do the highbrow, amazing games...

-Do we?

Yeah, on Wind-Down we've got not as much money.

-No.

-So we're going to play a game that we like to call

-the bla-bla-bla-bla-bla game.

-OK?

Here's how it's going to work.

You guys will face each other and take it in turns,

one of you in the other person's face has to go,

"Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla," until the other person laughs.

You'll take it in turns.

-Whoever laughs the quickest is out of the game. Understood?

-Yeah.

In that case, you're going first. Face that way, face that way.

Here we go, bla-bla-bla-bla. 20 seconds on the clock.

Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla...

A little smirk.

Bla-bla-bla...

-KLAXON

-Very good.

She smiled. Can I just confirm?

Ten seconds, not bad, OK?

-So if this is less than ten seconds, you've won.

-Here we go.

Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla!

Bla-bla-bla-bla!

A little smirk?

Bla-bla-bla-bla...

-KLAXON BLARES

-How many seconds?

14 seconds!

And for that, you win a propelling pen. Don't know what it is.

-It does that.

-Enjoy yourself. Right now, it's time for this.

All Star Audience.

Yeah. Playing this game today,

we've got the wonderful Ben Shires and Connie.

How are you feeling, guys, all right?

-Competitive.

-Competitive.

-I like it.

-I like it.

Now, on Big Friday Wind-Up, we have a huge studio audience.

Those audience members often get mistaken for certain celebrities,

so we asked them which celebrities they get mistaken for.

You guys have to guess who you think it is, understood?

-But don't let each other see.

-Yeah, don't cheat.

Shall we look at our first audience member?

I'm often told I look like...

-OK, this is...

-Write down what you think.

Connie's in for it straight away. Ben, are you writing down an answer?

-Yeah.

-We've got one from Connie.

Connie's got lovely writing, by the way.

-Thank you.

-What have you gone for?

-Declan Donnelly.

-Dec from Ant and Dec.

-Yeah.

-Oh.

-What have you gone for?

I've used not much of the page, but I've got Kev from Corrie.

-Oh, really? Interesting.

-OK, all right.

Let's see if either one of you is correct.

I'm often told I look like...