Amelia Lily Sam & Mark's Big Wind-Up

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me off and watch me go

# It's easy once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now It's already begun... #

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you

to two of the funniest men on television,

but I can't.

So, instead, here's Sam and Mark!

MUSIC: "Jump" by Van Halen

# Might as well jump... #

Woo-hoo!

CHEERING

Here we go, here we go!

-Oh, yeah!

-Yeah!

-Welcome to Friday.

-And welcome to the weekend.

-He's Sam...

-And he's Mark...

And we have no idea who this is.

LAUGHTER

-But we do know one thing you can expect...

-And that's the unexpected.

Yes, stay tuned to find out how two our viewers reacted when

Mark and I got right in their faces all day wearing strange disguises.

-Give us an "Ooh, arr!"

-Arr!

-Louder!

-Arr!

-Arr!

If you could invent a superpower, what would your superpower be?

Power to create turtles?

-It's a good 'un.

-It is and you do not want to miss

someone's dad being totally embarrassing.

-I tell you something else, it's one of your dads.

-Yeah!

And check this out. Today's guest is Amelia Lily!

CHEERING

-Looking totally celeb.

-Absolutely.

And somebody here will be asking... # Who let the dogs out?

# Who, who, who, who? #

Very good indeed. But first, it's time to reveal

some of the things our audience would prefer us not to.

There's nowhere to hide. We're coming to get you!

Thanking you very much.

All right, Robyn?

I'm not going past you. How you doing? You all right?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

Now, what possible reason could I have

to be standing here next to you right now?

Er... Any idea?

-No.

-Embarrassing parent?

-Yeah...

-Who is it?

-Mostly my dad.

Mostly? Mostly Dad.

Well, it is actually about your dad.

We've heard that you find him rather embarrassing. Tell us why.

He likes comic books, doesn't he? And superheroes.

The Incredible Hulk.

-Oh, he's a big fan of The Incredible Hulk?

-Yes.

-Oh, right.

Tell us about the extent of his obsession.

He's got two boxes full of Incredible Hulk stuff.

Really?

She just said, "There's more than that."

We actually know that,

cos we've got a picture of him with a really nice T-shirt.

LAUGHTER

It doesn't say The Incredible Hulk, it says The Incredible Dad.

Now, where is your dad today, Robyn?

-I think he's at an auction with my grandad.

-Oh, is he?

OK. Well, your dad may not be here,

but I think the Hulk may be here.

ROARING

In fact, I think I can hear him now!

# What's that coming over the hill

# Is it a monster? Is it a monster?

# What's that coming over the hill

# Is it a monster? Is it a monster? #

HULK ROARS

SAM SCREAMS

HULK ROARS

# Is it a monster?

# Is it a monster?

# Is it a monster? #

HULK ROARS

Look at the guns on the Hulk, or, should I say, Stephen?

Give it up for Stephen, everybody!

CHEERING

I've got a question. Does he always dress like that?

-Yeah, mostly.

-Brilliant!

Another beautiful day in Bristol,

until we showed up!

MUSIC: Theme from "Magnum PI" by Mike Post

HORN HONKS

It's time for another game of...

SAM DOES DRUM ROLL ON CAR

-Stop that.

-Sorry. In Yer Face.

And we are about to get right in the face of these two.

I'm taking James...

And I'm taking George.

The aim of the game is not to get recognised

and we've got costumes and cunning disguises to help.

Whoever gets away with it the longest is the winner.

But, if they uncover our true identity and make a

positive ID right in our faces, then it's game over.

Can the lads make convincing beekeepers without being stung.

To bee or not to bee.

You get the idea. First up, Mark!

-Morning, Mark!

-Hello.

-You'll never guess what?

-Yeah.

-You've only got and lost your bees, you silly sausage.

-What?

You're going to knock on James's door,

you're going to tell him you've lost your bees and ask him

to give you a call if he comes across

any bees that look lost.

-And you're going to hand him one of your cards.

-Perfect.

Look at the confidence in him, striding up to the door.

DOOR BELL RINGS

Excuse me, mate. I'm a local beekeeper in the area

and unfortunately I've lost a few of my bees,

so I was wondering if you see any bees around,

would you be able to ring this number?

Is that all right? I've just got a card here.

It's called None Of Your Bees-ness.

If you ring that number, then you'd be able to tell me

if you see any bees around, all right?

-Cool.

-Quick, leave. Leave!

-All right. Cheers, mate. Take care.

-Bye.

-Bye.

He had a cheeky grin on his face then.

-Well done.

-Thanks, mate. One-nil.

That means there's a lot of pressure on you.

-What accent you going to do?

-None of your bees-ness!

I do not bee-lieve it.

It's one-nil to Mark. Next up, Sam.

Oh, look at you, look at you.

-You think you're the bees' knees.

-Clever.

-Why don't you just buzz off?

-Good one.

Have some honey.

-That wasn't so good, that last one.

-Was that not good?

-No.

-No, OK.

Remember, if he says, "You're Sam from Sam and Mark,"

this is the quickest game in the history of quick games.

It's not going to happen and you know that.

You know, deep down inside, it won't happen.

-You trying to trash talk me?

-I'm trash talking you, big time.

Well, it's not working.

Isn't it? How about now?

-A little bit intimidating.

-Is it working now?

-Bit intimidating.

-Am I trash talking you big time?

-Yeah.

-I'm coming for you.

All right. Well, don't come for me. Go to George's house.

-All right.

-All right? Good luck.

I'm nervous for him.

Hello, I'm sorry to bother you, mate.

I am a beekeeper in the area

and I seem to have lost some of my bees.

Not all of them, just some of them.

If you happen to see any bees,

-would you mind getting in touch with my company?

-OK.

We're actually called None Of Your Bees-ness.

So, they usually fly in groups,

so if you see them, just give us a call.

Thank you, mate. Bye, have a good day, mate. Bye.

Man. He didn't have a clue.

APPLAUSE

-I'm going to win this.

-You're not.

Hey, who is your favourite character in EastEnders?

Ian Bee-ale!

LAUGHTER

No, no, no! Is it, is it, is it...

Bee-anca?

LAUGHTER

-I haven't got any more.

-I haven't, either.

With the scores one apiece,

let's move on to Round Two. Pirates.

Can these two swashbucklers

shiver the boys' timbers without getting recognised?

Ooh, arr! Who's a pretty boy? Certainly not Mark.

-Looking good.

-Thanks.

-What's your parrot called?

My parrot is called Felix.

Felix, brilliant. OK, here are the rules.

You are a pirate.

When James walks past, you have got to sing a pirate song that you

can make up and then, after, you've got to make James say, "Oooh, arr!"

Stop waving your sword. You broke your sword!

He's broke his sword!

SAM LAUGHS

You're the worst pirate ever.

I see him, Mark. Good luck.

Arr! To get past, you have to listen to my pirate song.

Come over here, me hearty!

Listen to me song.

# A pirate, pirate, pirate

# A pirate in the sea

# A pirate, pirate, pirate

# I'm happy as can be. #

Not the best song I've ever heard.

-You've got to say, "Ooh, arr!" Say "Ooh, arr!"

-Ooh, arr.

He got him to do it. Good.

Ooh, arr! I liked it, me hearties!

Off you go, see ya!

Hey-arr! Hey! Ha!

Well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah!

Oh, yeah! Yes. Yes.

-Easy. In yer face, Sam Nixon.

-OK, whatever.

He didn't have a clue.

So, Mark leads two-one.

Next to walk the plank, Blackbeard himself, Sam.

-Well, hello there, Mr Johnny Depp.

-Hi there, Mark. How are you?

-I'm fine and dandy cos I'm two-one ahead.

-Yeah.

MARK LAUGHS

-Yeah, not for long.

-Well, we shall see.

Stop stroking your parrot, get your head in the game.

This parrot's better than Felix.

-No. What's the name of it?

-Ian.

-Ian the parrot?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant.

Here they come. I can see him.

-Ooh, arr!

-Ooh, arr!

I am a pirate searching for gold.

When I find it, you will be told.

-Ooh, arr!

-Ooh, arr!

-Louder!

-Arr!

Arr! What about that? Ooh, arr!

Ooh, arr!

MARK GROANS

On your way, matey!

Oh, man, he ain't got a clue.

-I'm in deep trouble.

-Ooh, arr!

APPLAUSE

What has happened to your beard?

-Listen.

-Look at it!

-Listen.

-Look at that?

-Has it come off?

-Yeah. Big time.

And he still didn't get me.

I am the king of this game.

So, that's two-all.

Round Three. Superhero.

But will these two plonkers go from hero to zero?

First up, it's Mark.

-What are you doing?

-I'm flexing.

-Right.

Here's what will happen. James will come towards you.

You're a superhero, obviously, and you work for

a comic book shop and you're doing a survey on different superheroes.

You've got three questions. You need to ask him those questions

-and if you get past that, job's a good 'un.

-Easy.

Don't forget, if James says,

"You are Mark from Sam and Mark," it's over.

-He won't.

-Here he comes. Good luck, don't mess it up.

Excuse me. I don't suppose you could help me for a few minutes?

-Yeah, sure.

-Cool.

I work in a local superhero comic book store

and we're just doing a short questionnaire.

Who's your favourite superhero?

If there's such thing as TurtleMan I'll go with that.

Making up your own. I like that.

TurtleMan.

If you could invent a superpower, what would your superpower be?

He's got no idea.

-I'm sensing a theme, that you like turtles.

-Yes.

Power to create turtles.

Finally, what would your superhero name be?

I'm thinking it'll be a turtle-related one.

TurtleZilla.

TurtleZilla? That's great. That's a great one. OK.

Can't believe he's getting away with it.

All right, thanks. I'll put that in the records.

See you. Cool.

He's just got a mask on. This is ridiculous.

APPLAUSE

Ooh, hang about!

'He's coming back, he's coming back!'

SAM LAUGHS

This could be it! This could be it!

That's a good choice.

Are you Mark from Sam and Mark?

CHEERING

-I am indeed, mate.

-Yes!

-How you doing? Are you all right?

-Yeah.

Come here, mate.

I've been playing a little game

with you all day called In Yer Face.

But little do you know that your mate George has had him

doing exactly the same thing - Sam, over here.

Which means, Sam Nixon, you might win In Yer face.

It's looking good.

So, the scores remain two apiece.

Next up is super Sam.

You have to do exactly what I did with George.

What, get caught?

LAUGHTER

Yes, very good. Excellent banter.

-You are wearing spandex.

-I know.

-I think we're both losers on this one.

-That's true.

-We're both losers here.

-Good luck, mate.

-Thanks, mate.

Excuse me! Sorry.

-Hi, mate. How old are you? Do you mind me asking?

-Ten.

-Perfect. Do you mind if I ask some questions?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant.

Basically, I work in the comic book shop just over the road

and we're just doing some research on superheroes, basically.

-You into superheroes?

-Yes, I'm into comics.

-Brilliant.

-I like comic art, as well.

High-five. Nice one, perfect.

OK, so who's your favourite superhero?

-My favourite superhero is Green Lantern.

-Amazing.

Now, if you could invent your own superhero,

what superpower would you have?

I would probably have mind reading,

telepathy thing.

Mind reading. That's clever.

And what would your superhero's name be?

-Zylock.

-Zylock?

Zylock?

-Amazing. And do you think this area needs a new superhero?

-Yeah.

-Yes, I think it does.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

He's absolutely brilliant.

Would you have a sidekick?

I mean, I think duos are the way to go, really, aren't they?

Batman and Robin.

Batman and Robin. Ant and Dec.

LAUGHTER

All right, thank you very much. Nice to see you. Bye, mate.

Unbelievable.

APPLAUSE

Oh, man.

Do you know what my superpower should be?

-Winning this game.

-I am truly mortified.

He's coming back, though. He's coming back.

Excuse me?

It's just, sorry, you look like someone I know.

Really? Who's that?

Like...Sam from Sam and Mark.

That's interesting.

-George...

-Yeah?

I am Sam from Sam and Mark!

LAUGHTER

-Are you all right?

-Got him, got him, got him!

You remember this morning when a beekeeper knocked on your door?

-Was that you?

-That was me!

-Was that seriously you?

-That was me.

Also, do you remember this morning when you walked past a pirate?

-No way!

-That was me.

And obviously, it was me just then.

And, what you don't know is that Mark has been playing this

with your very good friend James.

Here he is right now. How you doing, mate?

That's impossible!

Lads, you have been playing In Yer Face today

and I am happy to say that because you...

-Oh, no, it's a draw, now, isn't it?

-It's a draw.

-No!

-You've not won!

-Oh, no!

-But I'm happy to take the draw. I'm happy to take the draw.

-Nice work.

-Well done.

High fives all round for that. That was awesome.

APPLAUSE

A diplomatic draw, then.

-A diplomatic draw.

-Yeah.

Lads, I couldn't believe that.

-You actually had no idea at all, all day.

-Exactly.

-No idea.

At the end, as well, when we were doing the superhero questionnaire,

-we were using our own voices and everything.

-Exactly!

What were you thinking?

I had...

I just didn't... If it was someone else, I would be like...

-Embarrassed.

-I would feel really stupid.

LAUGHTER

-Not as stupid as us two.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Guys, did you have fun?

-Yeah!

-Brilliant.

-I've got to say,

I think that was one of my favourite In Yer Faces...

-I'm glad to hear it.

-Good, you were awesome.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for George and James!

-Brilliant.

-Well done, lads!

Now, it's time for a few more wind-ups.

It's time to play The Prize Surprise!

Round of applause.

APPLAUSE

-I like that, wahey!

-Hey!

-So, lovely Joy, have you any idea what's in store for you?

-No.

-No, OK.

-So, no Joy there then.

-Excellent. Excellent.

-Word banter.

We've heard that you're a massive fan of Hacker and Dodge.

-Is that right?

-Oh, yes, I am.

-Excellent.

-That's good to know.

Well, we've heard that you've got another favourite dog in your life.

-Who is that?

-Well, I have two dogs, Baxter and Bailey.

Would you ever swap your dog with Hacker and Dodge?

-No, never.

-Really?

Oh, OK, this is a little awkward.

Cos if we go direct to the CBBC studio now,

I think Chris is joined by someone very special.

Oh, no.

Hello, everybody, you're watching the CBBC channel

with Chris and Bailey.

Coming up, we've got loads of great shows like, go on,

tell them what we've got coming up.

LAUGHTER

Come on, Bailey, you're supposed to work with me here, mate.

OK, talk about the bins or Wigan or something, you know,

something funny.

LAUGHTER

They never thought this through, did they? It doesn't work.

And you've made a mess.

Hang on a minute. Hang on, I've just thought of something.

If Bailey is there with Chris, that can only mean...

You all right, cockers?

APPLAUSE

We've got to sort this out. It's Hacker and Dodge, everyone.

Come on, Joy.

You two.

-Are you Joy?

-Yeah. Over here.

Oh, Joy, that's my second favourite emotion. After melancholy.

Well, I guess if Bailey is with Chris, then these two,

they're yours, joy. What do you think of that? Good?

I don't know.

I thought you were called Joy, not Misery.

LAUGHTER

Pipe down, you.

-Pipe down, Hacker.

-OK, listen, Hacker and Dodge, the game is up.

We are going to have to swap you around, I'm afraid.

-Can you give us the key to the CBBC office, please?

-No.

If only it was as simple as that, Sam and/or Mark.

For we have put said key amidst this unexplained mud pit that

stands before your very eyes.

Hey, why is it even here?

And why is there a wall here? None of this makes any sense.

We are actually going to give you the chance to win your dog back

-and, more importantly, some prizes. Does that sound good?

-Yeah.

-Better.

OK, I thought it might.

Well, hidden in this mud pit are four golden bones.

Now, for each one you find, you win a prize.

But Hacker and Dodge have hidden a golden bone

with a key attached to it. That's the key to their CBBC office.

Find that and you can get Bailey back.

Joy, we have also left you a dog egg in there.

No, no, they haven't.

-Joy, are you up for the challenge?

-Yes, I am.

-That's great.

-If you'd like to put your gloves on.

-These are actually quite comfy.

-Are they? Lovely.

-That's one of the prizes.

-Best of luck, Joy.

You can get right in there in three, two, one. Get digging. Get in there.

MUSIC: "Who Let The Dogs Out?" by Baha Men

There's one, there's one.

Get in, get in.

There is another one. Well done.

# Who let the dogs out? #

Get in there, start digging.

Get over there, get over there. Get in there.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

Dig a bit faster, dig a bit faster.

-You can do this, Joy.

-Come on.

Look somewhere else, look somewhere else.

You've got two so far. Yeah!

Keep going, keep going.

We've still not found the one with the key to the CBBC office.

KLAXON BLARES

-Time's up.

-Oh, man.

-Come over here. Are you all right?

-Take your gloves off. You're all right.

-Well done.

Let's see how many bones you've got.

We managed to get one, two, three bones.

Which means you have won yourself three prizes.

Let's go over to Chris and see exactly what you just won.

Well, Bailey, tell her what she's won.

This is really not going to work.

Joy, you have won a bunch of boy band goodies, all inside this bag.

It is hefty, I can assure you.

You have one of these rather snazzy shoes. Check it out.

-And, best of all, you have won this tablet.

-Oh, wow.

-Yeah!

-Bailey is so excited he's run off. Look at that.

-Bailey's off.

He's had enough of you, Chris, sorry, mate.

But, unfortunately, you didn't find the key.

So that means that Bailey has become the new face of CBBC.

We'll see you next week.

No, we can't have that, can we?

Audience, do you think we should let Joy have Bailey back, yeah?

ALL: Yes.

-I think so too.

-OK, that means the audience has spoken.

So, Joy, you need to now go and get your prizes

and go and get your dog, more importantly.

Wait there. She hasn't found the key so...

Well, I had a spare one in my pocket the whole time.

What a waste of time that was.

There's the key, off you go, Joy. Off you go.

APPLAUSE

Bye, Joy.

Can I just say, to you two right now,

you have caused so much trouble today?

-I hope you're ashamed of yourselves.

-Definitely. Listen,

I think it's time that you guys went back to the CBBC office, all right?

Yeah, take the lift. BOTH: See you.

LIFT BELL DINGS

Haven't they been great sports? Ladies and gentlemen,

please, put your hands together for Chris, Bailey and Joy

and, of course, Hacker and Dodge as well.

APPLAUSE

Take one fake photo booth and one rubber snake

and this is what you get.

-HISS!

-Argh!

-HISS!

-Ooh!

Eek!

-HISS!

-Oh!

-HISS!

-Wah!

-HISS!

-Aaaaargh!

LAUGHTER

Oh, we are silly, aren't we?

Now, we are back with Marie and the cheerleaders

and it's our turn to perform, as you can see.

So, guys, what do we actually have to do?

You're going to do some motions, you're going to do some jumps

-and we are going to do a stunt at the end.

-A stunt?

-A stunt.

We are going to keep an eye on you and see who's the best

and who is going to win and give you a little bit of feedback as well.

-OK, that's nice. Constructive criticism.

-Or just criticism.

-We'll probably get that as well.

-Shall we get started then?

-Yeah.

OK, fantastic.

MUSIC: "Live While We're Young" by One Direction

# Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do

# Just pretending that we're cool

# So tonight

# Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun

# I know we only met but let's pretend it's love

# And never, never, never stop for anyone

# Tonight let's get some

# And live while we're young. #

CHEERING

-Are you all right?

-She's all right.

-Points deducted for that, surely.

No, no, no.

OK, so, Marie, it's all down to you now.

You are the official adjudicator. Who has won?

I think, definitely, you had some amazing facials.

-The girls said, I think, you were slightly off time.

-Right.

Maybe slightly more on time.

But when it came to stunts, I think Sam's were the best.

Our overall winner is Sam.

CHEERING

Never have I ever been so proud.

So, that means it's a win for me

and it's also a win for everyone who voted for me.

Well done, guys.

You get yourselves a no-expense- spared Big Friday Wind-Up toy

coming your way. Excellent stuff.

Here's what the stars are saying about this

series of Big Friday Wind-Up. Five, six, seven, eight.

LAUGHTER

Everybody's talking about us.

When I heard these two guys have got a second series, I was like,

"Are you serious?"

The celebs love us.

I can't stand the guys.

-You didn't see their dance moves.

-Phew.

-Wind-Up.

-It's where it's at.

-I won't watch it.

-No.

APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Shut Up" by Amelia Lily

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# I'm trying

# Oh, yes, my mind is playing tricks on me

# It's the same as it's always been

# Seeing things out the corner of my eye

# Well, are you gonna be my guy?

# Ooo-oo-oo-ooh, ooh

# Waiting for a session and now we feel pressure

# Ooo-oo-oo-ooh, ooh

# Get some for the rest cos you'll never learn your lesson

# You like it a lot

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# I'm tired of waiting

# Baby, can't you take it?

# Oh, baby, you're falling apart

# Falling in love while I'm breaking your heart

# Oh, can't you take this crazy love, darling?

# I'm trying

# Oh, yes, my heart is blowing hot and cold

# Sending lightning into my soul

# Seeing things out the corner of my eye

# So are you gonna be my guy?

# Ooo-oo-oo-ooh, ooh

# Waiting for a session and now we feel pressure

# Ooo-oo-oo-ooh, ooh

# Get some for the rest cos you'll never learn your lesson

# You like it a lot

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# I'm tired of waiting

# Baby, can't you take it?

# Oh, baby, you're falling apart

# Falling in love while I'm breaking your heart

# Oh, can't you take this crazy love, darling?

# I'm trying

# Oh, darling

# I'm trying

# Turn it up, turn it up, oh-oh

# Show the girls what you got, oh-oh

# To the right, to the left, oh-oh

# Is that that best that I'm gonna get? Oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh, yeah!

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# You like it a lot

# Shut up and give me whatever you got

# I'm tired of waiting

# Baby, can't you take it?

# Oh, baby, you're falling apart

# Falling in love while I'm breaking your heart

# Oh, can't you take this crazy love, darling?

# I'm trying

# Oh, darling Oh, darling

# I'm trying

# Shut up and give me whatever you got. #

CHEERING

Thank you.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd