Episode 4 Sam & Mark's Big Wind-Up

# Wind me up, put me down Start me up and watch me go

# It's easy when you know how it's done

# You can't stop now It's already begun... #

Ladies and gentlemen, go wild!

Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!

It's your hosts - Sam and Mark!

# Bad boys are always catching my eye! #

Hello! Hello!

Come on, come on! High five! Yeah!

BULLETS FLY

This week's show is so surprising, it even surprised us.

-Is that your surprised face?

-It is.

-It's good.

Today's show has got more wind-ups than a wind-up merchant

-who's been on holiday to Wind-Up Town.

-That is a lot of wind-ups.

-It is.

-Basically, no-one is safe.

Stay tuned to see what happened when we went undercover

to surprise some fans of ours.

# You walked down the street

# Meets a man playing a harmonica... #

How many books do you read per month?

-AUDIENCE: Ooh!

-Ooh, indeed.

And we'll find out if a friend in need is a friend indeed

-as the audience's friendship is tested.

-Our special guest is Lemar!

Oh, yes.

-Hashtag amazing!

-Isn't he just? It's such a packed show,

-I don't know where to start.

-How about at the start?

-Good idea.

Everyone please give it up for Dad On A Wheel!

# I'm so dizzy My head is spinning

# Like a whirlpool... #

-Dad, how are you feeling?

-Fine.

-Good. I'm glad.

OK, now listen very carefully.

The rules are pretty complicated. Firstly, we take a dad.

Secondly, we place him on a wheel.

You've lost me. Are you lot following this?

-YEAH!

-All right, then. Over to Sam for the science bit.

The wheel has three gold sections. Now if Dad lands on Dad,

he'll win himself a prize! That would be nice, wouldn't it?

-It would indeed.

-Better still, if Dad lands on Audience,

every one of you will win a prize.

But even better still, if Dad lands on Star, Brandon wins a prize!

Give me five! So what we're trying to say is that gold is good.

Red, on the other hand, is BAD!

Actually, it's not that bad.

If Dad lands in the red section, Brandon gets to foam him!

-It's gonna be a good day! Brandon, are you ready?

-Yes!

-Fantastic.

In that case, come on, Sam...

ALL: Spin the wheel!

Here we go!

Oh...yes!

-I can't believe it!

-I'll tell you when. This one. Get that there.

Best of luck, guys. In three, two, one - foam him!

In the face!

OK, stop the foaming!

-How are you feeling, Dad?

-A little bit wet.

-We've got two more spins.

Here comes the second one!

Oh, no, no!

I don't believe it!

-It's not looking good for you, my friend.

-Get him in the face!

Three, two, one - foam him!

YEAH!

-Stop the foaming! Stop the foaming!

-He's getting into it now. I like it.

-We've only got one more spin left. Shall we try to get a prize?

-Yes!

Here we go!

I promise, it's not rigged, this. I promise.

-OK.

-Oh, bless you.

-For the third time, after three.

One, two, three!

-Done!

-Are we done?

We didn't have enough foam left in there!

So at the end of Dad On A Wheel, you've won nothing,

but got three foamings! Yay!

I'm going to ask you, Bernie, have you had fun?

-That's all you need to say.

-Brandon, did you enjoy that?

-Yeah.

-Well done, mate.

-Let's hear it for Brandon and Bernie!

Hey, we spoil you on this show.

Now let us introduce you to some friends of ours.

Give it up for Jessica and Freya!

Yes! High five! High five!

-Air fives! Yeah!

-Girls, are you enjoying the show?

-Yeah.

-Awesome!

-Now you've already experienced the Wind-Up effect.

-Yes.

-Yes.

Indeed. We hit your home town.

Our aim was to follow you all day in disguise without you recognising us.

So shall we see how we and you guys got on? Up for that, audience?

-YEAH!

-In that case, Jessica, do the honours.

-Run VT!

-Yeah!

Another quiet, peaceful day in this village.

Until we showed up!

It's time for another edition of In Yer Face.

And this week it's about these two.

-I'm taking Jess.

-I'm taking Freya.

The aim was not to get recognised.

We've got loads of costumes and disguises.

Whoever gets away with it the longest is the winner.

But if they uncover us and make a positive ID, it's game over.

So let's kick things off with Round One - Fireman.

Can they be firemen without raising the alarm? First up, Mark.

You make a very convincing fireman. I'd let you rescue me.

-Get off!

-OK, mate. Here are the rules. You are a fireman.

You're going round giving out leaflets to find a missing cat.

-That's the cat right there.

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

When Jessica gets to the door, tell her about this missing cat.

-I'll give you its name in your ear.

-What?!

Those are the rules. It's risky, Mark.

If she says you're Mark, you're out.

No chance. Look at my get up. I look like a fireman.

-I feel really butch and manly and that never happens.

-I'm not sure!

Good luck!

Bet you're nervous.

Excuse me, love. We're investigating a lost cat. Have you seen this cat?

-No.

-The cat's name is Steve.

-The cat's name is Steve.

I'll hand you this leaflet. If you do see the cat,

-ring that number immediately.

-OK.

-Have you got any cats?

-No.

OK, well, if you do see...Steve lurking around,

give that a call, please. OK?

Lovely to see you. Take care.

-Steve?! One-nil!

-All right.

-Steve the cat is one-nil up.

-My turn.

-You stitched me up then!

-I did.

-But now it's your turn.

So it's one-nil to Mark. Next up is Fireman Sam!

-You might be wondering why Mark has a cup of tea.

-You have a cup of tea?

Cos I'm one-nil up. It'll be cold when you've done this challenge.

It's quite difficult for me. I don't like cats. I don't care.

-That's the cutest thing you've ever seen.

-No.

-Pipe down.

-Do your job.

-Not as cute as me.

-True. Off you go.

# I can be your hero, baby... #

Sorry to bother you, love. Have you seen a missing cat?

-Good lad.

-He was up in that tree.

You see?

-It was about five days ago.

-Colin's the name of the cat.

-The name of the cat is Colin.

-Colin!

I don't suppose you've seen him?

I'll hand you one of these. If you happen to come across him,

please call this number. Thank you.

-His name's Colin, if you see him. Thank you.

-Well done, Sam.

I've got to say - Colin(!)

As soon as I said Colin, you were like, "Mmm!" Thought I'd got you.

So it's level pegging at one all. It's time for Round Two.

Can they get a tune out without getting caught out? First, Mark.

Mark, you could not look more out of place in this quaint village!

-Look at how you're dressed!

-This is easy.

I've got the moves. Listen.

That's quite good. OK, here are the rules.

Jessica will walk down the high street. When she passes you,

you can either ask her name and make up a song about her name,

or ask her what her favourite song is and then try to recreate it.

The choice is yours, my friend.

Good luck, mate. Don't mess it up.

-All right? How's it going? What's your name?

-Jessica.

I've got a good song for you.

# Jessica walked down the street

# Met a man playing a harmonica... #

-Like my song?

-Yeah.

-You liked that?

What's your favourite song in the whole world? I can play it.

-I'm a one-man band. What's your favourite song?

-I don't know.

# I don't know, I don't know

# I'm a one-man band... # Have a lovely day, Jessica.

-And you, too.

-Thank you.

-Take care. Bye-bye.

'She's suspicious. She's definitely suspicious.'

She definitely said Sam and Mark then! Definitely!

You are getting caught on the next round, brother. That was lucky.

# Jessica, Jessica, you see a man playing a harmonica... #

-The worst song in the world, ever.

-She didn't know, though, mate.

You are getting caught! She mouthed "Sam and Mark".

-Did she?

-Definitely.

-Seriously? I didn't even see that.

Simply super. Two-one to Mark.

Can Sam draw level? Take it away, son.

Listen, mate. You are out. You shouldn't be confident.

-I'm massively confident.

-Stop saying confident.

Yes. Here are the rules, my friend.

-I know the rules!

-Good luck.

Hey!

How you doing? You all right? My name's Trevor.

Got any requests? What's your favourite song?

Katy Perry? I know Katy Perry.

# You're hot then you... # Thank you very much, ladies.

# You're hot then you're cold You're in then you're out

# You're up then you're down It's wrong when it's right... #

-Please stop!

-# We fight... #

-Please stop the madness.

Hey!

-I'm going to win this one.

-She didn't have a clue.

Whereas yours, I'm sure she definitely mouthed, "Is that Mark?"

-Stupid, stupid game!

-Two-all. So I should keep the money we earned.

That's mine!

So that's two-all.

It's time for Round Three - Librarian.

But will this story have a happy ending? First up, it's Mark.

-Feeling nervous?

-I'm not, actually. I'm feeling really good about this.

-I'm like a proper woman.

-I'm pretty sure Jessica knew it was you.

No. I'm so confident that she didn't know, I've put Sam as my name badge.

Risky business. Jessica is going to walk in.

Get her to fill out a customer questionnaire,

-but you're going to be asking her all the questions.

-No problem.

-Give us your voice.

-Like this.

Wow! Your time is up, my friend.

Good luck, mate. Here she comes.

Hello there. Could I ask a few questions? We ask everyone.

-Would that be OK?

-Yeah.

-Would it? Look at these questions.

We're looking to improve the facilities of the library.

Could you answer this one?

How often do you use the library? Daily, weekly, once a month,

or never? Shouldn't be never!

-I've been, em...

-I'm not judging.

-At least once a month.

-OK. Let's tick that. Lovely.

-How many books do you read per month?

-Three.

-Three books a month!

If you gave this library a makeover, which celebrity should open it?

-JLS.

-JLS. Excellent choice.

-Nice, nice.

They are splendid looking men.

-Thank you. What's your name?

-Jessica.

-Lovely to speak to you.

Enjoy the library.

Somebody's going to the final! Me!

I am the master of being a woman! That sounded weird!

-It's true, though, you are.

-How good was that?

-All right.

-"You scraped through..."

-Well, you did!

-But not that one!

-No, I suppose.

-In yer face!

-In YOUR face!

No, no, definitely in your face.

-Stop getting so close to me!

-Sorry.

-You creepy grandmother!

He IS a creepy grandmother. Mark is 3-2 ahead. Can Sam level t'scores?

Why have I got a Sam name tag? Not Marketta?

-We thought you'll get done anyway.

-Really?

-We didn't want pressure.

-We did, did we?

-Yes.

-Oh, right.

-Also, Sam's a girl's name.

-Yours is a girl's name!

-Mark isn't.

-Sam's strong.

-We shall find out.

-We will.

Oh, hello there.

-How are you?

-Well, thank you.

We're just asking everybody to fill out a little survey.

-How often do you use the library?

-Once a month?

-I'll tick that one.

How many books do you read per month? None? One?

Two? Three? Four? Or more?

What's she laughing at? Has she got the giggles?

We'll leave that one blank. Thank you.

Well done, Sam.

Hang on, though, Sam. She's coming back!

-You're not out the woods yet.

-Excuse me? Are you Sam?

You got me, Freya. Finally!

So Mark's the winner, but will he really rub it in Sam's face

by winning Round Four, Lucky Dip?

-Here's what will happen. Over the road is a cafe.

-Yeah.

You'll dunk your biscuit into Jessica or her mum's tea.

-Dunk my biscuit in their tea?

-For as long as you can.

-And you can only have one disguise, which you will now choose.

-OK.

You got summat? Is that an eye patch?

Wow! You are going to look like a right strange man!

'What does he look like?!'

With his one biscuit.

'Hold on. He's going in for the dunk.

'This is truly extraordinary stuff.' Hello, Mark.

'Rumbled!'

-You know the fireman?

-Yes.

-That was me.

-What about the one-man band? Did you like the song?

-No.

Sam has been playing with your friend, Freya. She's here!

You all right?

And because Freya got Sam and Jessica didn't get me,

-I am the champion of In Yer Face! Get in!

-'Mark is the winner.'

Yes! A victory!

For me! I can't believe it!

You looked proper weird wearing that eye patch.

Like a pirate! Did we make convincing women though?

-No.

-No.

-Did you have fun?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-You have been great sports.

Please, everybody, give it up for Jessica and Freya! Well done, girls.

APPLAUSE

The surprises don't stop there. We have plenty more up our sleeves.

-Have we?

-Yeah, we definitely have.

APPLAUSE

Hi, guys. How are you doing? Are you all right?

-Good, thanks. And you?

-Yeah, very good, thank you.

Do you have any idea why you're here, Molly and Euan?

-No.

-No.

-Not at all.

-Is it true that you two are very good friends?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Good.

-That's nice.

-That's lovely.

Is it fair to say that you two have different musical tastes?

-Completely different.

-Really? OK.

-Euan, you're a fan of the Arctic Monkeys?

-Yeah.

-Really like them?

-Excellent.

-What about you, Molly?

-One Direction.

-One Direction, OK.

-Euan, what do you think of One Direction?

-Shocking.

-Shocking?

-Euan, say what you feel(!)

Molly, how do you feel about the Arctic Monkeys?

-They're awful.

-Oh, OK. Again, say what you feel.

Euan, you must like One Direction a little bit

because you seem to have stolen Harry Styles' hair!

OK, this is where we're going to test how strong your friendship is.

We want to see how much of each other's musical knowledge

has rubbed off on each other.

-Look at Molly's face!

-Guys, are you up for the challenge?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Come with us. It's time to play What Direction? Come on.

APPLAUSE

Come on, guys.

Hey, Molly and Euan, say "hi" to the gang!

Say "hello". They'll say "hello" back.

-Hello!

-Euan, we are going to play you some music.

Now, it could be a song by the Arctic Monkeys

or it could be by One Direction.

All you have to do is convey to Molly which group it was

through the power of dance.

It sounds pretty simple, Euan,

but you'll be listening to the music through a pair of headphones,

so Molly won't be able to hear it.

When he stops dancing, Molly, you will have a decision to make.

You have to tell us if you think it's a One Direction song

or a song by the Arctic Monkeys.

If you think it's a One Direction song, stand next to them.

But if you think it was a song by the Arctic Monkeys,

then you have to run in the opposite direction.

To make sure there'll be no cheating going on,

we don't want Euan mouthing the words to Molly,

Euan will be wearing this Harry Styles mask.

-And we know you're going to love that.

-It's about the same!

-So are you ready, guys?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Excellent.

Before we start playing, we have a "good luck" message for you.

-Good luck, Molly.

-Agh!

-Do your best.

Euan, bust a move, my friend!

I think it's fair to say you were pretty excited by that, Molly.

So, uh...

So no pressure, Molly and Euan. She's... Aw!

-Aw!

-Euan, you need to come with me, my friend.

-Molly, you stand there.

-Lovely.

-Euan, put your Harry Styles mask on.

And also after you've done that,

-Euan, put your Harry Styles mask on!

-LAUGHTER

-Good one!

-Oh, banter!

OK, you can put these headphones on as well.

OK, Euan, nod if you're ready.

Brilliant.

Let's play Euan the first piece of music.

Interesting.

Interesting dancing, that.

-AUDIENCE SHOUTS

-Interesting.

OK, it's now time for Molly to make her decision.

-What direction are you going, Molly?

-Arctic Monkeys.

-Off you go.

-She's gone for the Arctic Monkeys.

-OK.

Let's hear what Euan was dancing to.

# I bet that you look good on the dancefloor... #

CHEERING

Come back over here, Molly.

You have just won a prize for yourself and Euan. That prize is...

Two watches. That's nice, isn't it?

This is for the big prize of One Direction concert tickets.

Oh!

-Look at her. She's shocked over her face.

-He better get this right.

-You'd best get this right.

-Get this right.

I'm not going to convey that to him.

OK, good luck, Euan.

Your final song, we'll play now.

-AUDIENCE SHOUTS

-Interesting.

Amazing, amazing.

OK, thank you, audience. Thank you very much.

OK, Molly, this is a big decision.

This could win you tickets to go see One Direction live.

-What direction are you going in?

-One Direction.

-One Direction.

OK, Molly, best of luck.

And to you, weird Harry...Euan.

OK, let's hear what Euan was dancing to.

# Baby, you light up my world like nobody else... #

-CHEERING

-Well done, guys. Well done.

Well done, Euan. You can take that off now. Nice work. Nice work.

-It's ruined my hair.

-Ruined his hair!

You'll love this, Euan. You've just won One Direction tickets.

CHEERING

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Molly and Euan!

-APPLAUSE

-Fantastic.

The audience seemed to enjoy that,

but let's see how they reacted when they were all wound up earlier.

'Chimpy's on the loose. Boom! Shake, shake that room!'

SCREAMS

APPLAUSE

See you next time, but playing us out, it's Lemar. Take it away, mate!

Bye!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# No more rules to break

# It's your life to waste

# Everything we need

# On that silver screen

# And it feels

# Feels like you're mine

# For the first time

# Hey!

# Hey!

# For the first time, first time, let your light shine

# It's so bright, it blinds me

# Higher, higher, let your light shine

# See it all the time

# For the first time, first time, let your light shine

# And no longer feel...

# Brighter, brighter, let your light shine

# Tonight, tonight

# We watch the world come to life, to life

# Alive, alive

# Watch the world come to li-i-ife

# It will be a-a-all

# All right

# Yeah... #

Oh! Oh!

# For the first time, first time, let your light shine

# It's so bright, it blinds me

# Brighter, brighter, let your light shine

# See it all the time

# For the first time, first time, let your light shine

# And no longer feel...

# Brighter, brighter, let your light shine

# For the first time

# For the first time! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE