Northenders Scoop
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
# Time is running out | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
# Stories to be found | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
# What's it all about? | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
# Got to go and check around | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
# If there's a rumour going round | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
# Don't you forget it | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
# Whenever something's going down | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
# Got to get that scoop | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
# Got to get that scoop | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
# Got to get that scoop | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
# Got to get that | 0:00:29 | 0:00:30 | |
# S-C-O-O-P # | 0:00:30 | 0:00:34 | |
Dad, the bathroom door's locked. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
How about a nice big fried breakfast, Hacker? | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
If you mean like yesterday, no. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
What's wrong with deep-fried cornflakes? | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
Digby, I'm trying to watch NorthEnders. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
-What's NorthEnders? -Only the biggest soap opera on TV. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
Now, shush! There's a good bit coming up. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
-Come on. What's the big surprise? -That would be telling. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:01 | |
-So tell me! -I'll do better than that, princess. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
I'll show you. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
You wait there. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
A surprise! A big surprise! | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
It'd be a great scoop if we could find it out. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:14 | |
-I've got a much better idea for a big news story. -What? | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
Take a look...at this! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
This rasher is the spitting image of Elvis! | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
Famous Faces In My Food! Max will love it! Come on! | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
But what about the big surprise in NorthEnders? | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
Oh, forget it, Hacker! Only idiots watch soap operas. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
Huh? | 0:01:35 | 0:01:36 | |
-HE SLURPS -"I wouldn't mind another one, | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
-and I was very good at it." -MAX CHUCKLES | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
I can't wait to see what the big surprise is on NorthEnders. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:49 | |
-Me, too. -Yeah. It's a great show, innit? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
-I love NorthEnders, me. -You said only idiots - | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
Don't appreciate the exciting stories. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
And talking about exciting stories, Famous Faces In My Food! | 0:01:56 | 0:02:00 | |
Ssh! And get out of my chair! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
Food that looks like famous people! This could be a runner, Max. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:09 | |
Last night I had a pizza. Meat feast with extra cheese. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
You could see the entire England football team! | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
-HE ROARS -Be quiet. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
-They're about to reveal all. -Come on. I can't wait any longer. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
-What's the big surprise? -Here we are. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
YAPPING | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
Dad! It's a dog! Can I keep him? | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Course you can, princess! Say hello to Scampi! | 0:02:29 | 0:02:33 | |
He's all yours. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:34 | |
MAX SOBS | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
I knew Roy wouldn't let little Andrea down! | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
Little Andrea's always wanted a dog, and now she's got one! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Yeah. Crackin' episode. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
THEY BLOW NOISILY | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
Oh! | 0:02:47 | 0:02:48 | |
-I want that story, and fast! -Brilliant! You won't regret it. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:53 | |
I can see Kylie in this rich tea. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
-HE SIGHS -I meant the big NorthEnders story! | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
No. I'm sorry. I've got to stick to my principles. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
It's Famous Faces In My Food or nothing. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:05 | |
-Fair enough. I'm sure Hacker can manage on his own. -Yeah. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
So, where is this TV studio? | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
If there's a story here, Hacker, I will sniff it out. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
Look! | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Yes! | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
That's the sort of news people like reading about. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:30 | |
They give you free coffee and doughnuts here. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
Two coffees and two doughnuts, please. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
-What are you having, Hacker? Hang on! That's mine! -Get your own! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:43 | |
Digby! That's Dave Norris! | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
-Who? -Roy, out of NorthEnders! | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Security! | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
CRASHING | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
-See? -Oh, Dave! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
Oh! I am an enormous fan of yours. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
Put it there! Oh... | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Somebody get this lummox out of here! Where's security? | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
-Dave, what's wrong? -This fool... | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
-Fool? I am Digby D Digworth. -Pilbury Post, reporter. OK. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:11 | |
-I don't care who he is. -We don't want to upset the press, Dave. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
-All right. But any trouble, and I want him out. -I'm Lorraine, | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
producer of NorthEnders. How can I help you? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
-We're here to do a story about the new dog. -I want to meet him. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
We haven't managed to find the right dog for the part yet. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:28 | |
But that's terrible! Hacker! No dog, no story! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Max will go mad! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
It must be difficult to find a dog who's clever enough to act. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:37 | |
You need a dog for the show? | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
Oh, no, Hacker! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
Don't go there! Not here! | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
MUSIC POUNDS | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
-# He's the number-one dog -# Do you mean me? | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
-# All the right moves -# VIP | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
-# When the going gets rough -# I'll have a cup of tea | 0:05:01 | 0:05:02 | |
-# H-A-C-K-E-R -# Hacker | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
-# He's the bomb -# You're gonna beg for more | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
-# Looks so divine -# I'm the K to the 9 | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
-# Can scratch with ease -# I got showbiz fleas | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
# And when I see a tree I go pee | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
-# Top dog -# Top dog | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
-# Top dog -# That's me | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
-# He's the coolest of the canines... -HE HOWLS | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
-# Top dog -# Uh-huh | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
-# Top dog -# Sing it, girls | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
-# He's the coolest of the canines -# Stop! Digby time! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:30 | |
# He's Hacker, not a slacker, I'm his number-one backer | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
# He's the salt to my pepper, he's the cheese on my cracker | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
# When I'm wrong he takes the flak, his bark is more a yap | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
# So come on, shake your maracas... | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
Aaargh! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:47 | 0:05:49 | |
# Go Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
# Go, Hacker, go, Hacker # | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Hacker! Hacker! Hacker! | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
I'm really sorry. Calm down, you. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:11 | |
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking? -What are you thinking? | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
I'm thinking we've found our new family pet. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
-That's just what I was thinking. -What? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
-Do you want Hacker to play the part? -Who are you - his manager? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
Er, yes! Where Hacker goes, I go. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
In that case, forget it. I'm sorry, my little friend. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
-HE GROWLS -Look, it's either Hacker here, | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
-or no dog. -All right. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
-But keep that doughnut thief away from me. -Come on. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
-Let's get you to makeup! -Yeah. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
It's all right, Dave. We showbiz managers know the score. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:45 | |
-I'll keep an eye on him. -It's not the dog I'm worried about. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
Scampi here's the best present ever, Dad. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:54 | |
I'm glad you like young Scampi. Soon as I saw him in that dogs' home, | 0:06:54 | 0:06:58 | |
I said, "That's the one for my lass." | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
He looks a bit cold. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
-And thirsty. -HE PANTS | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Don't you worry. I'll soon sort him out. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
-It's a great show, Dave. -That's my chair. Can't you read? | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
On the back! | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
CRASHING | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
Digby, behave! | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
Here we are. Some nice milk and some doggy biscuits. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:27 | |
HAMMERING | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
Stop everything! Lorraine, can you please ask Mr Digworth | 0:07:31 | 0:07:36 | |
-to keep quiet during rehearsals? -Yeah! It's distracting me too. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
-You're all doing very well, Lorraine. -Thank you! | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
If you could just sit down quietly over there... Thank you. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
OK! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:48 | |
Right. Let's go again, people. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:52 | |
He's the best present ever, Dad. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
Oh, I'm glad you like young Scampi. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Soon as I saw him in that dogs' home, | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
-I said that's the one... -PHONE RINGING | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Max! Hiya, Max! You'll never believe this. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
-Hacker's got the part! -"What?!" | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
-Speak up, man. -In NorthEnders! | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
Hacker's the new family pet! | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
-He looks a bit cold. -I know! | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
-It's incredible. And he's doing really - -"Marvellous!" | 0:08:20 | 0:08:24 | |
-Any juicy stories yet? -I'm right on the case, Max. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
I want to know about all the arguments, | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
-the on-set disasters! -On-set disasters? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
No, no. It's all going really well here. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
No problems at all. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
Um... I-I'll phone you back, Max. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
You...are the problem. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
You are an on-set disaster. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Lorraine, I don't care if he IS the press. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
I cannot work with him blundering around | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
when I am trying to act! | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
Ooh, he's so unprofessional! | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
All right! All right. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Digby, | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
-I'll arrange a special viewing area for you. -Ooh! | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
-A special viewing area! Thank you! -It's our pleasure. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:11 | |
OK, guys. Let's rehearse the next scene. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
This Post reporter was accorded the privilege | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
of a special viewing area to watch the new NorthEnders hound | 0:09:24 | 0:09:29 | |
go through his...paces... | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
Where's the light? Ah! | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Do you want to go for walkies, Scampi? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Why not? It's a lovely day. Not a cloud in the sky! | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
He could do with the exercise. I can hardly lift him. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
What's going on now? | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Argh! HE HOWLS | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
-Does anyone know where the light switch is? -Digby! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
I'm not saying another line until he's gone. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
He ruined my big scene. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Compromise. You two give him an exclusive interview, | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
then we can ask him to leave. OK? | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
-OK. -But five minutes! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
That's all he gets. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
Oh, yes. Very classy! | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
-You don't look too bad yourself! -Yeah. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:32 | |
Like two peas in a pod, ain't we? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
Thanks for the interview, lads. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
This is going to be an award-winning story. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
-Well, just get on with it. -Absolutely. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Let's get going. Total concentration. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:46 | |
-Now... -HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
What's it like being a big star? | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
-Well, it's... -Ahem! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
It's a huge responsibility being a role model - | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
-I don't believe it! -What? -There's a fruit basket! | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
-HE LAUGHS -You've got a fruit basket, Hacker, | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
with a real pineapple. Oh! Look at all these little lights, eh? | 0:11:03 | 0:11:08 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES Digby! | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
-Interview. -Yeah. I'm sorry. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
I'm just so excited. But from now on, it's questions all the way. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:21 | |
-Right. Fire. -Can I have a grape? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
-Have them all. Just get on with the interview. -OK. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
Here we go. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
HE CHOKES | 0:11:29 | 0:11:33 | |
HE COUGHS | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
Ooh! Sorry. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
Now... | 0:11:40 | 0:11:41 | |
-I've lost my pen. -Here, use one of these. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
It's got NorthEnders on it! Where do you get one of these? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:53 | |
You can get them in the shop - on your way out. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:57 | |
Please, Digby! Get on with the interview. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
Okey-dokey. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
Dave... | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
..what colour underpants do you wear? | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
What? Er... Oh, it varies. I... | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
Colour of underpants... | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
varies. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
Well, I think that's about it. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-That's the interview? -I've got all the important facts. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
You know me - get straight to the heart of the story. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Underpants, fruit basket, posh mirror. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
Thank you. It's been a real pleasure interviewing such a big star. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:34 | |
-That's OK. -That's OK. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
-Home time! -Oh, sorry, Digby. I'm going out with Lorraine tonight. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:41 | |
But we were going to finish our jigsaw. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
-You're going out with Lorraine? She never told me. -Yeah. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
Dinner somewhere fancy, and the taxi'll be here soon. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
Got to go. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
Hmm! | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
So, Dave, are you, er... you any good at jigsaws? | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
SONG: "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
It's late. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
-Did you have a good time? -Fantastic. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
You could've invited me. I thought we were a team. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
-I'm in the premiere league now. -Don't treat this place like a hotel! | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
I'm not going to. That's why I'm moving out. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
What? | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Yeah. A star like me can't live in a dump like this. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
-Just came back for a few essentials. -Oh, yeah? | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
What's that - driving licence, credit cards, passport? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:36 | |
-No. Bones. -RATTLING | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
CAR HORN BEEPING | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
Oh! Car's waiting. See you, then! | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
# Everybody hurts | 0:13:49 | 0:13:54 | |
# Sometimes # | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
# If you leave me now | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
# You'll take away the biggest part of me... | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
HE SOBS | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, no | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
-# Baby, please don't go... -HE BLOWS NOISILY | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
-Oh, Hacker! -# If you leave me now | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
# You'll take away the very heart of me # | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
PHONE RINGING | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
-Um, hello? -Digby! I've got a bone to pick with you. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
Bones! I can't talk about bones! | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
Aha! But I can talk about Hacker. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
He made the front page of the Gilbury Gazette. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
Top Dog Spotlight Shines On New Star! | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
-From you I've heard nothing! -I don't see much of Hacker any more. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:46 | |
You share a house with him! I want stories, pictures, gossip! | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
I don't want him burping without me knowing about it. Understand? | 0:14:49 | 0:14:53 | |
-Absolutely, Max. I won't let him out of my sight. -Good! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:57 | |
Now...how can I get Hacker back? | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Look, Scampi's dreaming. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-He's had a tiring day. -We all have. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
-Come on, princess. Bedtime. -Awww! -Come on, you. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
And...cut! | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
OK, that's good. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
-Wonderful, darling. -It was nothing. -You can say that again! | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
There's some fans outside wanting autographs, if you... | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
-Well, mustn't disappoint. -Er, Hacker's autograph. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:36 | |
My public! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
I need a coffee. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
-Oh, it's you again. -I've just dropped by | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
to catch up on my favourite soap opera. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
And I've brought these for Hacker. They're his favourite. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:52 | |
Oh! Oh, well, why don't you give it to me? | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
I'll see that he...gets it. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
-What's that? -A present from your manager. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
-He's here again. -Good old Digby! | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
-I'll bring it on in the next scene. -Cool! | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
I think you'll find it's actually...very hot. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
Particularly with a little sprinkling of chilli. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:19 | |
OK. Places, everyone. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
-Hacker! -Quiet, please. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
Shut it! So, it's the next morning, | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
and Scampi's feeling ill. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
And action. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
Dad, Dad! Scampi's poorly! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
-What's up, princess? -He won't get up. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
-He's all weak and listless. -Let him try some food. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:47 | |
OK. But I think you should call the vet. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
Go on, Scampi. Try a bit. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
Hello. It's our Scampi. He's off his food and he's just lying there, | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
motionless. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
HE BARKS Whoo! | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
HE HOWLS | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
-How is he now? -Still the same. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
-Just lying there. -Stop! | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
Stop everything! I simply cannot deal with this. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
He's supposed to be lying there, not racing about. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
It's him! You've tinkered with that food! | 0:17:34 | 0:17:37 | |
But I didn't, Hacker, honest! | 0:17:37 | 0:17:39 | |
You have to get rid of the dog. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:42 | |
-But he's the best thing since you joined the show. -Yeah. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
-I'm a big star, aren't I? -It won't last. What can a dog do? | 0:17:45 | 0:17:49 | |
Can he get married? Divorced? Remarried? No! | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
All he can do is eat, sleep and look cute in a basket. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:56 | |
Either he goes... | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
or I go. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
-A rubber egg! -HE LAUGHS | 0:18:09 | 0:18:13 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
Hacker! I'll ask security to bring your bones from the dressing room. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:25 | |
If you could leave your studio pass on your way out... | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
Oh, budgies! | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Cheer up, mate! I've kept your room looking the same. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
-I haven't touched a thing. -I don't have a room, Digby. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
I have a basket. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
-Oh, yeah. -Hang on. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
They can't just sack me. I've got a contract. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
If they sack me now, they got to pay me big money. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:53 | |
Ooh! How big, exactly? | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
Check out the contract! I gave it to you to look after. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:59 | |
Ah... | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
The contract. Um... | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
HE GROANS | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
-But they'll have a copy in the office! -Yeah. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
But they won't let us in there now, and they took away your pass. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:16 | |
We need a devastatingly good plan. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:20 | |
Head bang! | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
Go, go, go! | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
WHOOSHING | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
Digby! The office is this way. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
I'll see if the coast is clear. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
CLANGING | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
That's the toilet. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
This is the office. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
Now, where's that safe? | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
Aha! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
Digby, that's a fridge! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
I knew that. But a fridge is like a safe. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:20 | |
It's where people hide things. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
Oh, wow! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
-Have you found my contract? -Better than that! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:29 | |
Savoury...and sweet. Now, where's a spoon? | 0:20:29 | 0:20:33 | |
HE GROANS | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
Oh! My contract! | 0:20:42 | 0:20:45 | |
I've got it! Let's go! | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
What, already? | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
Oh, security camera! | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
-What you doing? -We shouldn't be here, | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
so I'm getting rid of the CCTV footage. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
-Do you know how? -I'm not sure. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:05 | |
Need to find the right drive where they store the recordings. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
Oh, here it is. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
What's happening now? That's some data, that. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
Aha! Here we are. Delete all - Y or N? | 0:21:14 | 0:21:18 | |
-Definitely N. -Why? | 0:21:18 | 0:21:21 | |
No, N. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:22 | |
-Why? -No, N! | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
-Yes, but why? -Because we don't want to delete everything. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:29 | |
Right you are, captain. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
No! | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
-You pressed "yes"! -Hey, it was nothing. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
You've wiped everything, including this week's episode of NorthEnders! | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
They're all on the system too! | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
-Ah! -Well done. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
They can now sack me without giving me a penny. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:52 | |
What we going to do? What will Max say? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
-He's NorthEnders' biggest fan! -Well, he wanted a story. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
Wiping a week of TV's biggest show sounds like a good one! | 0:21:58 | 0:22:02 | |
-But it was me who did it! -Well, you're used to that. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
-I'll be a laughing-stock. -You're used to that too. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
All right. It's all right, Digby. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
Get a grip. It's only a stupid old soap. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:12 | |
They'll have loads of episodes lined up. No-one will notice... | 0:22:12 | 0:22:16 | |
-..will they? -Hmm! | 0:22:17 | 0:22:21 | |
Oh, ho-ho-ho! Now to find out how little Scampi's doing. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:27 | |
"We regret that we're unable to bring you | 0:22:27 | 0:22:31 | |
this week's edition of NorthEnders, due to a technical incident | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
involving a local reporter from the Pilbury Post | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
-and a sausage roll." -What? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
"Sausage Slip Up In Soap Sensation"? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:46 | |
DIGBY DIGWORTH! | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
RUMBLING | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:22:57 | 0:23:01 | |
# S-C-O-O-P # | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:11 |