The Brown Lagoon Scream Street


The Brown Lagoon

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside under his skin

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# When he's angry his body sprouts hairs

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# So he got a ticket You'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Next door's a vampire Maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street Scream Street. #

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HE WHIMPERS

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-Hey, Dad, are you OK?

-I'm fine.

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I just need to sit down, relax, put my slippers on...

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Argh! Someone has left their foot in my slipper.

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Sorry, Dad. Doug was round earlier.

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It's OK, it's OK. I'll just make myself a lovely cup of...

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Argh!

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Ah, I might have messed up when I fixed the plumbing.

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Let's have a look.

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Argh!

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It's just a mouse, Mike.

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Just a vampire mouse.

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Argh!

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I can't take much more of this.

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Perhaps we should get away from it all for a few days.

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What do you think?

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HE WHIMPERS

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Hey, Aoife. Got any suggestions for a family holiday?

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-Have you tried the web?

-You have the Internet here?

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No, no. Much better than that.

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We have the web.

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Of course you do.

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Argh!

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Search - relaxing holiday resorts.

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The Brown Lagoon.

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I mean, that sounds nice. Why don't we go there?

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Sounds a bit brown.

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Let's see if there are any other options.

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What's happened?

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It crashed. It's always doing that.

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The Brown Lagoon it is, then.

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Book direct at Sneer Hall.

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The Brown Lagoon? Excellent choice.

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It has been called the Bahamas of Scream Street.

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-Wow.

-Really?

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Yes, by me just then.

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Is it expensive?

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It is expensive

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but what price can you put on happiness?

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HE SIGHS

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Argh!

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-Oh, come on, Mum.

-All right, then.

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Splendid!

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You're going to love your totally non-refundable holiday.

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-Bon voyage.

-Bye.

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-Right, there's no time to waste.

-Yeah, we need to prepare the resort.

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No, no, no.

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We need to find some more suckers, get some more bookings.

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We could be on to some thing here.

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Taxi's here.

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Oh, good grief. In you get, Luke.

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Er, no, that's OK. I'll...

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I'll make my own way.

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Does he know something we don't?

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DRIVER FARTS

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Oh! So that's why Luke wanted to travel upwind.

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Argh! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

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Nonsense. It looks lovely.

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-Here we are.

-This is it?

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Welcome, welcome.

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Hurry up with that sign.

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Gosh. It looks quite different from the picture.

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-That was an artist's impression.

-Yeah, a con artist.

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You're going to have a lovely time. Just inhale the fresh air.

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Slightly better than the goblin wind, I'll grant you.

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Well, I'm off. I'm not staying in this dive.

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Don't forget to sort out that other sign.

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It's like the old days. Just the three of us.

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See, Dad? I knew this would be fun.

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Yeah. It is, isn't it?

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I feel better already.

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Can't wait to take a bracing swim in the morning.

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How about here?

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Erm, it's a bit brown.

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Over here, then?

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Well, it's still brown.

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-OK, look...

-I tell you what, you choose.

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I'm off to answer the call of nature.

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It's working. He's really relaxing.

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PIXIES CHATTER

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Get off. Are these pixies?

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I think so. Ow! They bite!

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We need to get rid of them before your dad gets back. Get off!

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Ow! Takes that!

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And take that!

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All right, take the lot.

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Ah, what are those spots all over your faces?

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Not spots, freckles.

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From a lovely warming sun.

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Right, let's eat. I'm famished.

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-Boiled egg?

-Er?

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Er, sorry, we were a little bit hungry.

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It really is good to get away from it all, isn't it?

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No monsters, no vampires, no mummies, no zombies.

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Just...

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MONSTERS CHATTER

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Oh!

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It would be OK if I just had instructions.

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You have got instructions.

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I need instructions for the instructions.

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They're hieroglyphs.

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What does three skinny cats and a squiggle mean?

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-Argh, you did it on purpose!

-I did not do it on purpose.

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You almost impaled me with that stake.

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If you keep saying I did it on purpose,

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I am going to do it on purpose.

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Well, this is peaceful, isn't it?

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At least the Negatives haven't brought their grotesque little...

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-COUGH

-She's behind me, isn't she?

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We can still have a nice time.

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Doug, tell me you're not digging a latrine next to our tent.

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No way, Mrs W. Course not.

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It's a bedroom.

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HE SNORES

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WOLF HOWLS

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Oh!

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Nothing better than sleeping outdoors

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and hearing the sounds of nature all around you.

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SCREAMING

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COCK CROWS

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Almost there now, Cleo.

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I had the hieroglyphs upside down.

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On, don't be a scaredy-cat.

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It's probably really good for your skin, actually.

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Argh!

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HE ROARS

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Ta-da!

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No!

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DOG BARKS

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MONSTERS SCREAM

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-Oh, my!

-We mustn't let Dad say this.

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Where is he?

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Keep it down, dudes, I'm trying to catch some Zs.

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HE ROARS

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Ergh!

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MONSTER ROARS

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CREATURE HISSES

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MONSTER ROARS

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Oh!

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It's OK. No Name will sort it.

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Or maybe not.

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-We've got to find Dad.

-I'll ask if anyone's seen him.

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BARKING

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Looks like Dig knows something.

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Your dad's glasses and his towel.

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Oh, no!

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Those are your dad's footsteps going in.

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Yeah, but those sure aren't his coming out.

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He's still in there!

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Ah? Dig! Let go! Stop!

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MONSTER ROARS

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Argh!

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What have you done with my father?

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Luke!

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He is your father!

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Where's Luke?

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WOLF ROARS

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Oh, no! Have you found Mike?

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MONSTER ROARS

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No!

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We've got to do something.

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They'll tear each other apart.

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Surely better they hurt each other than hurt us.

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Am I right? Did I say that out loud?

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Look! I think he doesn't like the sun.

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You're right. The sun's making the swamp goo dry up.

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And drop off.

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We need to dry him out and quickly.

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OK, cloak, I need something hot.

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No! Heat hot!

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That's more like it.

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Hai-ya!

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MONSTER ROARS

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Rarr!

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Think you're hard, do you?

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You are now.

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OK, let's get Mr W out of there.

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Yeah, a tent peg should do it.

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Sorry, Dad!

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HE CRIES

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-Luke, you're back.

-Uh-huh.

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Oh, man, you are not going to believe this.

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Ta-da!

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You guys should fly the bay. Fabulous views!

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What? Did we miss something?

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I've brought back a little souvenir for Otto.

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Luke!

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That was wonderful.

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You know, I feel like I've had a long rejuvenating mud bath.

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Yep. All in all, a great holiday.

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We must go back again next year.

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I'm not so sure about that.

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