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Mother of All Scares Scream Street

Mother of All Scares

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside Under his skin

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# When he's angry His body sprouts hair

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# So he got a ticket You'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street... #

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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# Next door's a vampire, maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Yeah, being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street! #

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Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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Dude, do I LOOK like a football?

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-DIG SNARLS

-Hey, quit it.

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-SPLAT!

-Ew.

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I hope that was a slug I just rolled in.

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What do you think, kids?

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That is a great...

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I want to say rocket.

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Ugh! It's Big Ben.

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You know? The clock?

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-BELL SOUNDS

-Dong! New Year's Eve?

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HE IMITATES FIREWORKS

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-Uh-huh, yeah...

-OK, I can sort of...

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-..that's really good, Mr Watson.

-Yeah.

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Luke? Come down and save your friends from your dad.

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Woo-hoo! Laters, Mum. Whoa...

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Do NOT slide down the banisters -

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it's dangerous.

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-RESUS AND CLEO TITTER

-Now, have you got your gloves?

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Hat? Scarf? What about thermal undies?

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Mum! It's not even cold.

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Now, you KNOW not to talk to strangers,

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-And remember to look both ways before crossing the road.

-Mu-u-um.

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And we never sing our special song any more. How did it go?

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# Goodbye, you'll soon be missed

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# So, here's a farewell kiss. #

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RESUS AND CLEO LAUGH Mum!

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HE ROARS

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Oh, no - safe room, everyone!

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LUKE ROARS

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ROARING AND CLATTERING

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You know, you shouldn't embarrass Luke in front of his friends.

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Says Mr Matchstick Big Ben.

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-LUKE ROARS

-Oh, maybe I did overdo it a bit.

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Luke, are you all right?

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Hope you didn't rip your thermal undies.

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Your mum only makes a fuss because she cares.

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I know, but she does my head in.

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"Do this, don't forget to do that. "Remember to..."

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MAYOR SNEER SCREAMS Wha...?!

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Whoa!

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Look both ways when crossing the road?

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CLEO AND RESUS LAUGH

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MAYOR SNEER SCREAMS

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Look, Mum...I'm sorry I lost it,

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but you did kind of make me...

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Argh!

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HE SWALLOWS NOISILY

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Make me a pot of tea, would you?

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There's a good little freak.

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MAYOR SNEER SLURPS

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What is going on?

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Er, the toilets at Sneer Hall are blocked and overflowing.

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According to Scream Street emergency mayoral powers

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number 4,758, sub-section D, paragraph 2-A,

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I get to stay with a family of MY choosing...

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indefinitely.

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-Wha...?

-Luke, now, please don't get angry, but...

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Mayor Otto has stolen my room!

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Calm. Go to the happy place. You're lying in a hammock, on a beach...

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HE SIGHS

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I bet he drools all over your pillow.

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-Oh...

-Not helping, Resus.

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I have GOT to get him out of my house.

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Something's up. Mayor Otto looked really scared earlier.

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No-one's THAT frightened of a blocked toilet.

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Unless the blockage sits up and speaks to them...

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I don't want to talk about it.

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Something scared Otto out of Sneer Hall, and I NEED to find out what.

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Let's go and find the scary thing! Yay(!)

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RESUS SIGHS

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SO, how are we sneaking in this time? A window? Roof light?

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Tunnel?

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-WHISPERING:

-How about the front door?

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Wait!

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Wait for me!

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OK, really great investigation, team,

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but there's really nothing weird going on here, so we'll just...

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HE YELPS

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VACUUM HUMS

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THEY YELP

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-HANDBAG:

-What have you done with my little Otto?

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Oh, my gosh! A talking handbag!

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SLOWLY: Hello. Who are you?

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I'm Otto's mummy, silly-billy. Have you seen him?

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Hmm. He hasn't come home for his tea, and I made lasagne.

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Otto loves his lasagne.

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Although without tomatoes, because they give him a rash on his bottom.

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It's like I said to Sandra, at the bingo...

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Otto's mummy's a poltergeist!

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That's right, all the way from

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the Peacehaven Home For Retired Poltergeists.

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That sounds...er, peaceful.

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FURNITURE CLATTERS

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My little Otto never visits, so I said to myself,

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"Margaret, old girl, it's time you invited yourself to Sneer Hall."

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-Mrs Sneer?

-But as soon as I arrived, Otto had to pop out.

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He's been gone for ages and I've worried myself to death -

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except I'm already dead.

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-It's like I said to Sandra...

-Mrs Sneer?!

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Would you like us to take you to see Otto?

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OK, team meeting, heh. 'Scuse us for a second, Mrs...Sneer, would you?

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-WHISPERS:

-You're inviting the crazy poltergeist back home?

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To get Otto out of my house.

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She seems OK,

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and if she likes tidying so much, she can do my room for me.

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SNARLING AND GRUNTING

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Give it back, Dig.

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Uh! Ah!

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-DIG BARKS

-Ah, that's better.

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Nice to meet some young people who aren't out stealing buses

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and joyriding on horses.

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DOUG GROANS

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Not again, dude!

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It's like I said to Sandra, at the bingo...

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No wonder Otto's stolen your room.

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HE SIGHS HAPPILY

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What's for dessert?

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-Ow!

-Otto Sneer!

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Get your feet off this nice lady's sofa this instant.

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Mummy?!

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What a lovely house, Mrs Watson. I do hope Otto has behaved himself.

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Oh, that's nice - is that real leather?

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A bit rusty - don't you polish your cutlery?

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What on EARTH is this?

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Some kind of alien temple?

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HE GRUNTS

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Otto, you have GOT to go home,

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and you can take your invisible mummy with you.

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No way! You don't know what it's like.

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She's got a terrible...

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-HE SCREAMS

-..tempe-e-er!

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Come, Otto. Time to leave these nice people alone.

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No, please. I want to stay here.

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Don't be silly. Now, you can't go outside looking like THAT.

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Mother!

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Look at you! Crumbs all down your chin.

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-HE GASPS

-Not the spitty-hanky.

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Not the spitty-hanky!

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-Come here.

-SHE SPITS

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HE SCREAMS

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Otto Cornelius Bertrand Sneer,

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come back here this instant!

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If there's one thing I know about poltergeists -

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when they get angry they tend to...

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throw stuff around.

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-DISHES CLATTER

-Everyone, safe room, hurry!

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Come on, quick!

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Ru-u-un!

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THEY GASP

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Mrs Sneer, can't we just talk about...?

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OK, she's not in the listening mood.

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Hey, maybe there's something in my cape that'll help.

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Let's see...

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Nope... No...

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That's cool, but no.

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-CLEO:

-Let's go!

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Ow! Stop it!

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Ow! Cut it out.

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Ah! Grr!

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LUKE ROARS

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Cool, be cool. Do NOT get angry!

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Let's go to the happy place.

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You're in a hammock...

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on a beach...

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BOING! Grrah!

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That was just a coconut.

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Otto, she's your mum - do something!

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No way! You invited her here.

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-BOTH:

-Whoa!

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RUMBLING

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Ha! Ha! Cheerio.

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-HE GASPS

-Mummy!

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What HAVE you done?

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Mummy?

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Put the house down.

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Oh! Ah!

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Ooh.

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She really does my head in sometimes.

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She only makes a fuss because she cares.

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There must be a way to calm her down.

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Something you used to do together that she'll remember, maybe?

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Well, there was something.

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So...do it now!

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Over my dead body.

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In about 30 seconds, then.

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OK, but this goes no further.

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Ahem.

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# I'm a naughty-botty, yes, I am. #

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Keep going, keep going.

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# Do the tea-potty, yes, I can. #

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Oh! That's lovely.

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Oh, just like when you were little.

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DISHES CLATTER

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It's working.

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Don't stop!

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# I'm a naughty-botty... #

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DIG BARKS

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Ah! Whoa!

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Huh?

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Whoa!

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Time to skedaddle!

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Hey, body - wait up!

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That's it, little dude.

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# When it's teddy teatime Look at me...

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THEY GIGGLE

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# I'm so cute and cu-u-uddly. #

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RUMBLING

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Oh, good boy, Dig.

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You can play footy with my head ANY time.

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Mwah!

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OTTO GROANS

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Mwah! Mwah!

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Ooh, all I ever wanted was a little special time

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with my icky-wicky Otty-botty.

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Mother!

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Right, then - that's me off.

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It's bingo night - I never miss it.

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This never happened, all right?

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Byesey-bye, Otty-botty, the tea-potty. Heh-heh!

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-OTTO:

-I heard that!

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Oh, Luke, thank goodness you're safe.

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HE SIGHS OK, but make it a quick one.

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SHE SMOOCHES

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And Big Ben is still in one piece.

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BELL SOUNDS

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HE SOBS

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Mm.

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Ah, peace at last.

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-Oi!

-Whoa!

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I was here first.

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Mind where you're standing.

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Mother?!

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Hello, darling. Bingo was cancelled,

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so I invited the girls round.

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-Oh, what a lovely house.

-Grass needs cutting.

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Oh, is this your little Otto?

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Has he put the kettle on?

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HE SCREAMS

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