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Bone Cruncher Scream Street

Bone Cruncher

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside under his skin

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# When he's angry his body sprouts hair

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# So he got a ticket and you'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Next door's a vampire, maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Yeah, being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street. #

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Well, I guess Egyptian princesses do get buried with a lot of treasure.

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Seriously? Is there any competition you haven't won?

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Wow, you actually have a trophy for winning the most trophies.

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There must be something you're not good at.

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Not really.

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There isn't much you can't master after a few hundred years

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of practice.

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Aargh!

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To beat you, we'd need to find something you've never done before.

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Something like this.

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SHE GASPS

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Like what?

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Arr-ha-har!

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Captain Bad-beard, scourge of the three seas, at your service.

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Three seas?

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Well, back in my day, they didn't know much about geography.

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So, what exactly is the Bone Cruncher?

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It be a competition!

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Who be the first to split the enemy's gizzards.

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Aargh!

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Only kidding. It's a surfing race.

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-Surfing?

-Yeah.

-But there's no sea anywhere near Scream Street.

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Like, who needs the sea?

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It be an air surfing race.

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Do we have time for a few hundred years of practice?

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Oh, yes!

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She's never done it before.

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No problemo!

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The Dougmeister can teach you some neat moves.

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-Yeah.

-I'm assuming there's a trophy.

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Oh, yeah, there's a trophy all right.

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Previous owner weren't too keen to let it go.

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So, are you in?

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The entry price is just one shilling.

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I pays you.

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Team meeting. 'Scuse us, Mr Captain Bad-beard, sir.

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Listen, guys,

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doesn't this race sound a little bit, well, bone crunchy?

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And he pays us to enter?

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There's no such thing as a free lunch.

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Free lunch for all competitors.

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Rhesus, are you a vampire or a chicken?

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Cleo, are you worried you might lose?

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All right, let's do this thing.

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Welcome aboard. Catch!

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O Hula cool-a!

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Oh, got it! Oh, no.

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Got it. Yes, got it.

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How come I've never seen you air surfing before?

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Oh, I gave it up after the accident.

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Wait, wait, wait, accident?

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Let's just say these aren't my original arms.

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Or legs. And you know, I'm not too sure about the head.

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Wow! You are really selling this sport to me(!)

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It's time I got back on the horse.

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That's why I dug up Delilah here.

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Coochie-coo!

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I haven't got any spare boards, little dudes, so you guys will just

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have to improvise.

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Board-acious!

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Most retro.

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-Oh.

-What?

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At least mine's a board.

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You're all going to need some wax.

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Magic wax.

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Oh, this is beyond cool.

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Now, remember, the best surfer is always the one having the most fun.

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Make it stop! Make it stop!

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Dude, we haven't even taken off yet.

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I knew that.

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OK, dudes, ease back and go.

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Waa!

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Hey, dig dude!

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Wow, your boards are your friends.

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Aargh!

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You're really nailing it, little dudes.

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Guys, I think I'm getting the hang of it.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Whoa!

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Aargh...

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-Little help here?

-Ha-ha!

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Ow!

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Now, remember, if you're flying under a low branch,

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just throw your head above it and catch it on the other side.

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Easy!

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How much fun was that?!

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I know! My favourite part was when we got off our boards and started to

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-walk home.

-Hmm?

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I thought you always wanted to fly.

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Like a bat, Luke!

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I'd like to fly like a bat, not like some kind of penguin...kiwi...

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something that's terrible at flying.

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A Rhesus? CLEO LAUGHS

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CAPTAIN LAUGHS

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I'm afraid I need you all to sign this health and safety form.

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Health and safety?

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That's not very piratey.

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I know, but if you don't sign it, I can't let you fly.

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Is this really necessary?

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Yeah, it's just your bog-standard boring old legal stuff, really.

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This looks like blood.

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That's cos it is.

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What's the problem? Too piratey for you, now?

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I've run out of giant squid ink is all.

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I generally make it a rule never to sign anything in blood.

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LUKE CLUCKS

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Chicken!

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You could win another trophy.

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Hmm!

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Yeah!

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So, Captain, you got any other little surprises for us?

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Captain?

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Oh, did I forget to tell you?

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I'm also racing.

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What, on that old plank?

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This isn't just any old plank.

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This be the plank that I was made to walk when my crew turned on me.

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Forced me to take the captain's challenge, they did.

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A race for my own ship.

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'Tis the last race I ever lost,

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and not one of them lived to tell the tale.

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Is story time over?

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Only I've got a trophy to win.

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Yeah, we'll see about that.

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Time to weigh anchor.

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On your marks...

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get set...

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Nobody move until I say...

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go!

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Aargh!

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I can still win this.

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I don't think so.

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You scurvy knaves be good, but not nearly good enough.

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CAPTAIN LAUGHS

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Hula-a cool-a!

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Zombie surfer coming through!

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Yeah!

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All right!

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Ha-ha-har!

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Heads you lose.

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Oh...

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Arr! Ha-har!

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Hey!

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Waa!

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Yes! I beat you!

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Oh, come on!

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Are we there yet?

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Well, at least you weren't last.

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I finally beat Cleo at something.

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-Yeah!

-High five!

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-Ha!

-Rhesus?

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-What's happening?

-This is, like, totally weird, dude.

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Ye should have read the small print before signing.

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"If the undersigned should lose to the here and before mentioned

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"Captain Bad-beard, see paragraph two, subsection four,

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"that their souls should be forfeit for all eternity."

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Ye took my shilling,

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now I claim your souls to join my crew of the dammed.

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THEY GASP

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It's not as bad as it sounds.

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It be far worse! Ha-ha!

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Hang on. Why is he not fading away?

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Maybe you should check your contract.

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"Doug Dougmeister.

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"Rhesus Negative. Cleo Farr.

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"Al Beatyouall?"

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Al Beatyouall! Classic.

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This is no time for joking.

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We've signed our souls away because of you.

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I can fix this.

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Good luck with that!

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The captain's challenge!

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I challenge you for captaincy of your ship.

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Ah, no!

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I has to accept!

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'Tis in the pirates' code!

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Paragraph four, subsection two A.

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Another surf race.

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I win, I get my friends back and your ship.

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Lose, and all your souls are mine.

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Luke, you'd better take Delilah.

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Thanks, Doug.

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-CRACKS KNUCKLES

-Like that's going to help.

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Ready...steady...

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Don't worry, I'm not going to pull the same...

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-Go!

-Luke, quick!

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Luke!

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So long, landlubber!

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Nobody said you have to finish on your own board.

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Whoa!

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Many have died walking off this plank.

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And you'll be next.

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So long, shark-meat!

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HE LAUGHS

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You just don't know when you be beaten.

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-Look out!

-Ha!

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Think I'm falling for that, you scallywag?

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Huh?

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Yeah!

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No!

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The new captain's got orders for his crew.

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They'll be needing this.

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Catch!

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They're going to make you walk it.

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CAPTAIN SCREAMS

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No!

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-Yes!

-Nice!

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Good one!

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Oh, lovely.

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How much for the portrait of me?

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Oh...

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honestly!

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Never thought I'd say this, but it's nice that someone else won for once.

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-Well done, Luke.

-Thanks, Cleo.

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-You're the best.

-The best?

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Am I?

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Well, that's got to be worth a trophy.

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-Oi!

-Race you for it.

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But don't start until I say

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-go!

-Hey!

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