Grampy Vampy Scream Street


Grampy Vampy

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside under his skin

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# When he's angry his body sprouts hair

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# So he got a ticket to you'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street... #

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EVIL CACKLE

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# Next door's a vampire, maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Yeah, being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street. #

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EVIL CACKLE

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I'm so glad you're finally fixing that creak.

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That's much better!

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Argh! Ah! Ah! Argh!

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-ALSTON LAUGHS

-Screaming Fool!

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Very funny! I thought Screaming Fool's Day was next week?

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G.H.O.U.L moved the date forward. What a brilliant prank!

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Oh, grow up, Alston, you're 335!

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Yes, but you make me feel 325.

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SHE GIGGLES

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Eurgh!

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Ah! This will have to do.

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-PARP!

-Argh!

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LAUGHTER

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I hate Screaming Fool's Day! Who is responsible for this?

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THEY SNIGGER

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Oh! Camel bladder? Cleo Farr, this is your last warning!

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-PARP!

-Cleo, detention!

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That wasn't me! Farp's got a built-in whoopee cushion.

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-Argh!

-Looks like you've got a screw loose, Resus. Ha-ha!

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I climbed through the window at 6am to do that, but it was worth it.

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The next person to pull a Screaming Fool's Day prank is in big trouble!

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-PARP!

-Ow!

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Screaming Fool! Ha-ha!

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Right, that's it! Give it here!

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You're not getting those back for a week!

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He's locked up Great-Grampy Vampy!

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-Hang on, those snapping fangs are your relative?

-Yes!

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Great-Grampy got so old, he crumbled away until only his fangs were left.

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But he's still an active and useful member of society.

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-Thanks, Grampy!

-You'll get him back in a week.

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Mum's taking him to the dentist before then!

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If I don't put him back, I'm a dead man!

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Oh! No offence.

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None taken, dude.

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Oh, I'd love to help,

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but I need to stick my backside in a bucket of ice.

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And I've got something really important to do.

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SHE GIGGLES

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Oh, guys, this is serious! Argh!

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What if there was someone who could help you get your grampy back?

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-Like, er...a me someone, I mean.

-Really?

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He's obviously very important to you.

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He's the only one in my family who doesn't make fun of me.

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-He can't talk, can he?

-Well, there is that.

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-So, where's Eefa?

-At her class - Flamenco Dancing for Witches.

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How are we going to break into the confiscation cupboard?

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I can do a portal spell, easy...ish.

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Right. Obviously, I know what a portal spell is,

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but explain it to me so I know that you know.

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This old tea towel is, like, the universe, yeah?

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A portal spell makes, like, a tunnel between two points in the universe.

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So this tea stain is the emporium,

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-this old blob of jam is the confiscation cupboard.

-A-huh.

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-And what's that?

-That's a squashed spider.

-Right.

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-And is that important?

-No.

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Look, all I do is magic a tiny, little tear

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in the fabric of space in the stockroom here.

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Then I should be able to make the portal open into Skully's

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cupboard...here.

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-Oh.

-That seems safe(!)

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The universe is more robust than an old tea towel, Resus, trust me, OK?

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A pinch of this, a splash of that,

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some mermaid's toenail,

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slugs' eyes and a squashed spider.

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Oh!

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-Cool!

-Right.

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Just need to concentrate very hard, or my other portal will come out.

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Now, stick your hand in and get back Grampy!

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Hey! This is from my bedroom! Er...someone's bedroom!

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Sorry. I think I just need to, like, focus harder.

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Try it now!

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Huh?

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Argh!

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-No.

-Sorry! Sorry.

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Mmmmmmmmmm. Try now.

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Argh! Hot! Slimy!

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Tell me that wasn't the Underlands!

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-That wasn't the Underlands?

-OK, I'm going home.

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Wait! Let me try one last time. Mmmmm.

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-PARP!

-That wasn't me.

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Cleo's whoopie cushion! Ow!

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Grampy Vampy! Oh, thanks, Luella!

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Sorry I ever doubted you. Mwah!

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-Oooh!

-PARP!

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-Where is it? Luella? Where's my pot of slugs' eyes?!

-Er...

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It was right next to this scroll. Hey, where's the scroll gone?

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-Luella?!

-DOOR SLAMS SHUT

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-Oh, great(!)

-Well, I didn't take them!

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Resus, you're the only one who was in the emporium last night,

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except me and, obvs, I didn't take them.

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Huh. Wait there.

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Either of you guys know anything about a break-in at the emporium?

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Some magic things are missing.

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Why would I rob the emporium?

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For a Screaming Fool's prank.

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-I mean, you broke into the school, so...

-That was different.

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-That was funny.

-Don't look at me. My game is far more sophisticated.

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All right. Well, if you hear anything, let me... Argh!

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THEY LAUGH Screaming Fool's Day was yesterday!

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Well, no sign of break-in. Luella...

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..you did close the portal, didn't you?

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-SMASH!

-Oh!

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-Eefa!

-Can't hold on! Argh!

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-Luella, did you make a portal spell to the Underlands?

-Not on purpose.

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Just a teeny-tiny one. I meant to close it, but I got castrac...

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I mean, distracted.

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Whoever was on the end of that arm has strong magic powers.

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I think they've been stealing my ingredients!

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-Why would they want them?

-Why do you think?!

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To turn the tiny portal into a big one! Big enough to...

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ALL GASP

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-Y-a-a-a-a-a-a-argh!

-BOTH: Eefa!

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Argh!

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-What does he want?!

-I'm guessing a new head!

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Come on!

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SMASH! A-A-A-Argh!

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Do you really need a head?

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I mean, don't think of it as being head-less,

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think of it more as being body-full.

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-Whaa!

-Oh!

-OK, I'll try not to take that personally. Hm!

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The portal!

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-Just make sure we don't end up in the Underlands!

-I'll do my best.

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THEY YELL

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-Oh!

-Resus?

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I've no idea whose this is either. Huh!

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Let's get some help!

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Hello? Anybody here?

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Oo-er! I'll come back later!

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Guys! Guys! Headless monster! Portal!

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Tear in the fabric of space! Help!

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-Er...Screaming Fool's Day was yesterday.

-Argh!

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Help m-e-e-e-e-e!

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-Whoa!

-What is that?!

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-Grrrrrrrr!

-Hiyah!

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-Sorry about that, sir.

-Given the circumstances...

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I got this! Hy...

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Ooo!

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Y-a-a-a-argh! Oof!

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I'm stuck!

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HE SNARLS

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Argh!

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-Whoa!

-This is all my fault!

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No, it's not. It's mine.

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-Oh.

-Excuse me, sir.

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Oh, not again!

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What are you doing?!

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Oi, No-Head, look at this lovely, boney bonce over here!

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Wouldn't it look great on your stupid shoulders?

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-Cleo, I need to borrow a bandage!

-Sure!

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Loving this reckless-action-hero vibe, by the way.

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When I jump into the Underlands, I'll remember to say something cool.

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When you what?

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Luella, concentrate on the Underlands!

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-Mmmmmmm!

-Huh! Something cool!

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Whoa!

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THEY GRUNT

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THEY GASP

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-Yay!

-Oh, yeah!

-Ooo, I've never been happier to see you, Resus!

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Which, admittedly, isn't saying much.

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THEY GRUNT

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Quick, the portal, we need to close it back up.

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-How?

-Hm. No time to cast a spell.

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Ha-ha! Nice one, Grampy!

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So, I'm, like, really sorry about the whole portal thing, Auntie Eefa.

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Actually, Luella, portal spells are very tricky.

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I'm impressed you pulled it off.

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-So impressed, I won't punish you.

-Seriously?!

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-No! You're grounded for the next 50 years!

-Oh.

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THEY LAUGH

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Now, look after the shop,

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I'm off to flamenco class with my new castanets.

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Come on, Grampy.

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THEY LAUGH

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HOWLING

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EVIL CACKLE

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SCREAMING

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EVIL CACKLE

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