Make Yourself at Home Secret Life of Boys

Hi, Dad! I spend a lot of time in this room.

Obvi. I send you, like, 100 vlogs a day.

Oh, and I've done 1,000 puzzles.

I know how much you love your puzzles.

But I can't hide in here forever,

so today I'm going to venture out of my room for a hot chocolate.

Those are delicious, no matter where you are.

Aunt Cor, OK if I make a hot chocolate?

Of course. This is your home now.

Help yourself to anything you like.

Except to my chocolates. Mama doesn't share those with anyone.

-Can I have a mug?

-Of course! Help yourself!

So that's where Ethan put his vegetables.

CAR ENGINE ROARS

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

Shh!

So, what's up today,

apart from making the world's most delicious cup of hot chocolate?

Making a puzzle in my room. 1,000 pieces of awesome.

-See ya later.

-Wait.

Thanks, Aunt Cor.

I'm here!

All right, let the secret meeting begin!

So, I really think Ginger should be part of Crash Crew.

-Yeah! Ginger is cool!

-No way.

I'm sort of with Ethan here.

Let's give her another week before we decide,

which means the vote is tied, unless...

I challenge Ethan for his vote!

It's a vote challenge!

Something's not right, Bob.

-What, you can smell that?

-No!

Something's not right with Ginger. She's not comfortable.

You're just working yourself up for nothing, which is probably

working Ginger up.

We have to act. Where are the boys?

Chris will battle Ethan in a stuffed-shirt sumo battle!

If Chris wins, Ginger is a member.

If Ethan wins, Ginger will never know about the Crash Crew.

Begin pre-battle!

Fight!

THEY ALL SHOUT

Why aren't you boys playing with Ginger?

Now, I understand that some boundaries were crossed earlier.

Mum stormed into our secret hideout.

How did you even though where it was?

Er, A, not that secret because I found it.

B, it used to be my knitting room.

Mum and I used to knit down here.

I was pretty good at it for a while.

My speciality was knitted cosies. I made them to protect my stuff.

I could make any shape.

Mum called me The Woolverine. Get it? Woolverine!

OK, so maybe Mum was a bit over-zealous,

but she and I are going out in a bit.

So, the house is all yours!

Hold on, when will you be back?

You won't know until it's too late.

-Bob, are you sure about this?

-Trust me.

As soon as we get out of the picture, they'll get on great.

I'm still not sure about this.

Ginger's dad is going through a very tense time right now.

The last thing she needs is a ball of tension following her around.

-You fear I would worsen matters?

-Aye.

But ask not that your Elven kin accept Ginger, a hobbit,

as one of their own.

You know as well as I do.

You can't force the boys to play with her. Let it happen naturally.

-I can make it look natural.

-Can you hear yourself?

Yes. I can now.

Hey, Ginger.

Mum and Dad just left, which makes me king of the castle.

I'm just going to work on my puzzle, stay out of your way.

No, that's boring. We're playing squicket.

-I've never heard of it.

-That's cos I made it up.

We play cricket with a bouncy squash ball.

See? Fun!

I've been playing squicket since I was a little kid.

Much more challenging than you think.

The ball is super hard to catch

and it's small, so it's really hard to hit.

We usually play until someone gets hurt or Mum and Dad come home.

The crazy thing is, the person who taught the game...

is Mum.

Yeah, I'm OK, but thanks for checking in.

So, where are we off to?

Who cares? We are in my new car!

Look, I don't even need keys to start it.

Coochie, coochie, coo!

This is how we're spending our afternoon?

Driving around the village we already live in.

Forget the village, look at the car.

ELECTRONIC FEMALE VOICE: 'The key to this car is no longer detected.

'I have sent a text to...

-MALE VOICE:

-'Bob!

'The car will unlock once...

'Bob!

'Responds. Thank you.'

Bob?

I must've left the keys in the house...

..next to my mobile.

Hey, you've got your phone. We can ring the boys.

No, you told me to leave it in the house so they couldn't call me!

Yeah, in hindsight, that was a mistake.

That was sick.

Mum and Dad should leave every day.

Right, so what are we breaking next?

I wonder why Ginger won't come out.

Ginger's Dad is very tense right now.

The last thing she needs is a ball of tension.

What? What are you talking about?

I don't know. That's what Dad said.

What's going on with her dad?

-Why isn't she telling us?

-It has to be juicy!

Maybe he's running for Prime Minister.

Maybe he shrunk to the size of a peanut and a puppy ate him!

Guys, guys!

Obviously, Ginger doesn't want us to know what's going on.

So we're going to have to be respectful.

We will not ask her what's going on with her father.

-Aw-w! Come on!

-But...but... we will trick her into telling us!

Robbie, you asked what we're breaking next?

We're breaking Ginger.

Mwah, mwah, mwah!

Hi, Dad. They're trying to trick me into telling them about you.

If they asked, I probably would've just told them.

But now they're in for it. Mwah, mwah!

Ooh, my evil laugh is getting better! Cool!

Need something?

Yes. You.

We're about to play our next game and you have to join.

Super into my puzzle right now.

All downhill once the edges are done.

So, you're not at all interested in Truth or Dare?

I could get into a lot of trouble playing that game.

And so could you.

STAND-OFF MUSIC PLAYS

We could just play Snakes and Ladders if you're scared.

Truth or Dare sounds...fun.

This afternoon is shaping up nicely.

There has to be a way out.

Maybe there's a trick.

Open, open, open, open!

CAR HORN BEEPS

Feel better?

A little bit.

The rules are simple.

If you pick truth, you have to do truth.

And if you pick dare, well, you have to do dare.

What if I don't?

We trap you in another dimension where fish are people

and people are fish.

But I can't swim yet!

Wait. How do we decide who goes first?

-ALL:

-Not it.

-Not...

Me and my brothers never go first.

We have a system, so whatever sucker we're playing always loses.

Sorry, Ginger. So if someone else asks, "Who goes first?"

We say, "Not it."

When Ethan asks, "Who goes first?"

We do, "Vampire."

Last vampire has to go first. When I ask, "Who goes first?"

We do, "Goggles."

When Robbie asks, "Who goes first?" We say, "You go!"

And then when Chris asks, "Who goes first?"

We just tell him he does.

I guess I'm first.

OK, Ginger. What'll it be?

Truth or dare? Truth?

Dare.

Pick truth! Pick truth!

-All:

-Pick truth! Pick truth! Pick truth! Pick truth!

Dare.

-Matt, you said she'd pick truth.

-Shh.

And we would ask her...

OK, Ginger. Got it.

Mum has a secret supply of chocolates in the kitchen.

She thinks we don't know about them, but we do.

We've eaten them before. She always catches us.

Chocolates are my not-so-secret shame.

I have my favourites hidden all over the house.

The boys have found some of them, but I'm on to them,

so I left a special box for them to find.

It has chocolates I sabotaged.

They have curry on them, chilli powder, Worcestershire sauce,

all sorts of things.

One of them is just a mushroom covered in chocolate.

Shouldn't be a problem, as long as they don't eat the whole box.

I dare you to eat all the chocolates and leave a note saying it was you.

That's crazy!

Take me to the chocolates!

-ALL:

-Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

Yeah! Whoa!

These taste terrible.

It's my turn, and I pick dare!

That's not how it works. You can't choose your own dares.

All right, then, who's next?

Do it or you have to go to Fish World!

# I've got ten little fingers and they all belong to me. #

Tickle, tickle, tickle!

So much for breaking Ginger.

She's totally breaking us.

I've got the boys on the ropes.

They thought I'd give up, but I'm no quitter.

If they want my secrets, they'll have to give up theirs first

because I'm a dare machine!

-Once she picks truth, we'll have her.

-You said this would be over by now.

Will you just chill? When have I ever failed you?

Just stick to the plan. We'll get it out of her.

So, whose turn is it?

Mine! I want a dare this time.

I dare you to be quiet for the rest of the day.

All right, Ginger. Truth?

Dare.

All you've done is dares.

I say the rule is you have to do a truth now.

Fine. But I hope you're ready to play...

..Plate of Fate.

We play Plate of Fate a lot.

It's the only way to get into the Crash Crew.

You're probably wondering why we call ourselves Crash Crew.

Our middle initials spell the word "crash".

-Do we have to say our middle names?

-Come on, we're all doing it.

Robert Clement Hughes.

Christopher Renee Hughes.

Matthew Albertine Simba Hughes-Stapleton.

Ethan Humphrey Hughes.

Clement, Renee, Albertine, Simba, Humphrey. C-R-A-S-H. Crash.

What do we call ourselves if Ginger gets in?

What's Plate of Fate?

Show her, Chris.

We always use Mum and Dad's special wedding plate.

-Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate! ALL:

-Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate!

Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate...!

That's not that bad.

Sure, but can you do it blindfolded, with just one cushion?!

-Feel like doing truth instead?

-Unless you're scared.

Let's do this.

Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate!

-ALL:

-Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate! Plate of Fate...!

Holy cowzers! Did you see that?

Because I didn't!

In your faces! Oh, oh, oh, whoa!

There is nothing in this manual!

I'm sorry.

Look, you're an engineer, surely you've picked up one useful titbit.

Not from engineering,

-but I've learned a thing or two from the movies!

-What are you doing?

We can get out through the boot!

If I can just get this boot open.

Sometimes I'm quite glad you watch the telly.

I can't believe I broke Aunt Corey's plate. What was I thinking?

It's not your fault. We pushed you.

I knew what you were doing.

We were just playing the game.

Right, Matt. One last truth.

Did you do this to find out about my dad?

I knew it. You guys don't even care about me.

All you guys care about is stupid gossip.

It's not like that.

We just wanted you to have a bit of fun.

Does this look like fun?

You did say you wanted to do a puzzle.

Probably not the best time for jokes.

Ginger, wait!

Great. Now we'll never find out about Ginger's dad.

I've got this. You guys go fix the plate.

We're not good at puzzles.

Get good.

Just go! Mum and Dad'll be home soon.

-Go on!

-And I've got it!

You wait there, I'll be right back.

I don't think so!

Ginger, I'm sorry. We shouldn't have got in your business.

Whatever's going on with your dad has nothing to do with us.

You'll share in your own time.

You don't get it. I don't want to share.

I kind of get it.

For a while it was just me and Mum.

We had our own flat and we did everything together.

She even taught me squicket. Then, later, Dad came along.

And Robbie and Ethan and Chris.

It was strange.

For a while, I didn't want to share either, so, yeah,

I kind of get it.

Just know that no matter what, we're here for you.

You're family, Ginger.

It's my turn. I choose truth.

What do we have to do to make you feel comfortable this summer?

But I thought you wanted to know...

All I want, is for you to come out of your room

and help us break Mum's stuff.

Honestly, I don't know what you can do to make me feel better.

I just...miss home.

Kids? It's Dad. I've left my keys inside.

Hold that thought, Ginger!

HIGH-PITCHED: You have the wrong house! Leave or I'll call the police!

Matt, I know that's you doing your impression of Grandma. Open up.

Matt? I'll see if I can find him, deary.

Fixed the plate.

That's horrible. What are we going to do?

So, did Ginger tell you?

Yeah, of course, but she told me not to tell you.

Nobody look at the plate.

Mum, Dad! Home so soon?

Not soon enough. How was your day?

OK.

Really? Ginger, how was your puzzle?

Oh, I didn't get to it.

Mummy, my tummy hurts!

-Matt, didn't you feed them?

-Sorry, slipped my mind.

What does my little man want to eat?

That was close. Next time they leave, we'll just watch a movie.

COCK CROWS

THEY ALL CHEER

G'day, mate. G'day, Ginger.

Er, what's happening? Why is it so hot in here?

Had Mum and Dad crank up the heat. Now it's Australia-hot in the house.

Really?

-And I let one of my snakes loose somewhere.

-What?!

Who wants some papaya for brekkie?

It's going to be another bonza Crocodile Dundee

ripper of a day today, eh, Ginger?

Let's put another prawn on the barbie.

Feeling at home yet?

Definitely.

They think I'm a fool, but I know about every nail polish painted

and chewing-gum glued thing in my house.

A mother always knows.

Like, I knew that the plate would become a casualty

to their shenanigans.

I never put the real one up there.

Matt and the boys really outdid themselves.

Their accents need a bit of work,

but it was really cool how hard they tried to make me feel at home.

And, honestly, it worked. Pah-pah for brekkie.

Uncle Bob's hilarious.