I Wish Secret Life of Boys


I Wish

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THUDDING

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The children, they're coming.

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At least this summer, we're ready for their pranks.

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Oh, yeah. We've got it covered!

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THUDDING

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DISTANT LAUGHTER

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CREAKING

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DOORBELL RINGS

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(Where are they?)

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(I think it's a trap.)

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What's going on?

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SHE SCREAMS

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I think we need some new family traditions.

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VIDEO CALL: 'Hey, Ginger. Haven't heard from you in ages.

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'Not long now till I'm out of jail and we'll be back to normal.

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'I can't wait to lay eyes on you.'

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'So if you have some time, I'd love to hear from you.

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'Miss you.'

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Hey, Dad. I got your message and I'm super sorry.

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It's no excuse. School's crazy,

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then I had to help the boys prank Aunt Corey and Uncle Bob.

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They do that every summer.

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Isn't that awesome?

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Summer's a huge deal in this house, and something big

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is going to happen today.

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I'm not quite sure what yet but, I'm telling you,

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the house is buzzing.

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I'm super excited.

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Wow!

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I've come a long way since I showed up last year

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and spewed all over Matt.

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Now I'm part of the gang

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and this summer will be epic.

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The summer of Ginger!

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And I'll make sure to send you plenty of messages.

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MOBILE BUZZES

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Starting later. Rebel Alliance meeting.

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Oi!

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Oh! Whoa!

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Oh!

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Urgh!

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Where's Chris? Didn't he call us here?

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I have a bunch of stuff to do today.

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Like what?

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Like noneya. Noneya business!

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-I'm here, what's up?

-Welcome to my meeting!

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-Meeting. I've been expecting you.

-HE RETCHES

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-Muffins?

-I should be mad at you for wasting our time,

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but that was impressive.

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No time to be impressed,

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the summer fairy is coming tonight and I don't know what to ask for.

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What's the summer fairy?

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She comes at the beginning of every summer holiday

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and grants our wishes.

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Yeah. We all love it. Ah!

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I'm too excited!

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Worst meeting ever.

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-Oh, I wonder what I'm going to wish for.

-So daft.

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Mum's the summer fairy.

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Obviously I was...

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And he's gone.

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And where are you off to?

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To my noneya office, so I can do some noneya-business.

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-So, Robbie...

-Sorry, Ginger.

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Too busy living life on the edge.

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The summer of Ginger.

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GROANING

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Settle. The summer fairy is on her way. Ooh!

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My wish is in. How about the rest of you lot?

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Matt, got your wish?

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Er, nah. Skipping that this summer, thanks.

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# Skipping that, skipping that This summer, yo, Matt

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# Skipping that summer fairy Skipping that

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# All day, yeah What we doin'?

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# Hey, yo, Chris We're skipping that, skipping that

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# Skipping that, skipping that Gold chain with the shades

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# Skipping that this summer, uh

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# What we doin'? Skipping that. #

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THEY GASP

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HE LAUGHS

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Just kidding. I'll, er... I'll be right back.

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Here's my wish. No, wait!

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I've changed my mind. I'm getting my other wish.

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Oh. Here's mine.

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Hope the summer fairy grants it.

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You know, because she's real.

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Your eyes OK, Ginger?

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Oh, yeah, yeah, they're fine.

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I just think it's so adorable that Chris actually thinks

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the summer fairy's real.

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She's not real?!

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HE SCREAMS

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SQUEAK!

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Interesting exit.

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Aunt Corey, I promise I'll fix it.

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He doesn't believe in the summer fairy any more.

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Sorry, I just... I need some air.

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Excuse me. Sorry.

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First you throw up on Matt, now this.

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That was a year ago.

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You just stomped all over his dreams like an ugly ogre.

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That's what you are, the summer ogre.

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I'm not the summer ogre!

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Oh, come on!

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Bob!

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Really?!

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Ginger, leave this village and never come back.

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You monstrous ogre.

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Dad, sorry I rushed off earlier.

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Things aren't good.

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Chris is upset and so is Aunt Corey

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and I'm the summer ogre.

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I'll explain later. But if I'm going to fix this,

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I need to grant Chris's wish.

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He wants a unicorn.

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I'm going to need to think of a new plan.

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Got to go.

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Dad, I need your help! I found a...

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Dad, can you help me build a super ramp?

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Ah, both my boys need my help.

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I feel like the prettiest girl at the party!

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When you say things like that, you sound pathetic.

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Really? So...

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-..what was your project?

-It's a thing.

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-What does it matter?

-So my choices are a super ramp

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or a mystery project.

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Hey, I tell you what, if you both help me with the path,

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I will help you with whatever you want.

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Deal. Seal the oath with a shake?

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Mine's better.

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I'm not doing much. Just figuring out uni.

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Oh, wicked! These are brilliant, thanks.

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Pretty sure I'll get into all my choices.

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Just need to decide if I'm staying local

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or going to a uni further away.

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Hey, Mum. What's...? What's up?

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Nothing. Just walking around.

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Looking at my children.

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DOOR CLOSES

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Yeah, sorry. That was Mum.

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Did you hear her?

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No, I haven't told her.

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I haven't told anybody, actually.

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Dad, if I'm your favourite, you'll help me first.

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Hate to break it to you, Ethan, but I'm his favourite by a mile.

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-No, you're not.

-Yes, I am.

-Am not!

-Am too!

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-Arghhhh!

-Ah!

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Boys, I love you both equally.

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Oh, come on, Dad. The game's up. I'm your favourite.

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-Tell him the truth.

-Truth?

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-What truth?!

-We haven't got a secret, Ethan, I promise you.

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Dad, you've spared his feelings too long.

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Ethan, I'm his favourite,

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because he gave me something that's most precious to him.

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His name.

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I'm Robert Hughes Junior.

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So what? That doesn't mean anything,

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it just means you were born before me!

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Boys! I love you both equally.

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Yeah, but you're going to have to pick one of us first.

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-So who is it?

-Look, maybe there's an easier way

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to decide who goes first.

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What about a feat to test your strength and your wit?

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Come on, follow me.

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Chris! The window's locked and I need to talk to you.

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Chris!

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Ah! Whoa!

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Boys, welcome to the Great British Rake Off!

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Now, whoever can rake their path the fastest, no stones or twigs...

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Stop it. You're just trying to make us help with your stupid path.

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No.

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Well, yeah, all right, fine.

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New plan. I haven't got a coin.

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But we can flip this spade.

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So, call it, Robbie.

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How comes he gets to call it?

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Because he's older.

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Now, Robbie, will it land digger- or handle-end first?

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-Digger end.

-Right, here we go.

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OK, bad idea.

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Run!

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-Chris?

-I'm in my wardrobe.

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Don't you mean your cave of darkness?

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It's just a wardrobe now.

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Chris, come on out. We have to talk.

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I was just joking about the summer fairy.

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She's not real. I can't find her in my book of fairies.

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You can't believe this book!

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You mean none of the fairies are real?

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No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying.

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You have to leave, Ginger.

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-I'm changing.

-Yeah, I know, and it's all my fault.

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No, I'm changing my clothes.

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Can I have a bit of privacy?

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Oh. Yeah, yeah.

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I'll just...

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Super ramp, see you soon.

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Not fair. Robert Junior always gets his way!

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Oh, you know that's not true.

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Why did he get to call it?

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Because he's older.

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I hate it! I get all of his and Matt's old clothes.

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They get everything and I get the scraps.

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Oh, Ethan, mate. Come here.

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Listen.

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Robbie won't mind, will he?

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He will. You can't fall for that, I won the spade toss.

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Robbie, sometimes as the older brother...

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No, no, no. Don't give me all that older-brother stuff.

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I'll build it by myself.

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No, you won't.

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BEEP

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Just locked my tools away.

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Be patient! Come on, you.

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I just talked to Chris.

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He was hiding in his wardrobe.

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His cave of darkness.

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He doesn't call it that any more.

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That's it. He's never going to believe in anything ever again.

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He's growing up too fast.

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Well, he's still your little Chrissy.

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Afternoon.

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-Er, Chris. Why are you wearing that?

-Well, because I'm a grown-up now

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and it's not Chris any more,

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it's Christopher.

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Maybe he's growing up a little.

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That's coffee, Chrissy.

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It's Christopher, Corey.

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Sorry. Christopher, I don't think you want to drink the...

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Urgh! Bleurgh! Yuck! Needs sugar.

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Mm! That hit the spot.

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CLATTERING

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I was fine, thanks.

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I'm going to work. Hold my calls.

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Hold his calls?

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He'll be moving in with his new wife by Tuesday.

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DOOR SLAMS

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I have an idea. I've got to go find the summer fairy.

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COMPUTER RINGS

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Sorry to call again. I just felt like talking.

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You got time?

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Great.

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Mum! Don't you knock?

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Just looking for some fabric. Still got that orange cape,

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the one from that big play fight with your friends?

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It wasn't a play fight, it's called larping.

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Live-action role-play.

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It's very serious.

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Ten-point strike, warlord vanquished.

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That's why I love you.

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You won't grow up and run away and leave me, will you?

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Of course I won't run away, Mum.

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In fact, my first choice for uni's local,

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so hopefully I'll be staying here.

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-Um, Matt...

-Yeah, whatever it is, yeah.

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All right. So, what's this big secret

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and why do I need these things?

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I need help to catch that.

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Is that...?

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-Is that a bat?

-Meet...

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-..Batasha!

-Great name.

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But we cannot keep that bat in here.

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-We have to release it.

-No, you promised!

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It's going to help me turn.

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Turn? What do you mean, turn?

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Ethan, are you trying to become a vampire again?

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Batasha, arise!

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I'm ready. Take me!

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No!

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See? Told you you don't need tools to build your super ramp.

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Andy Stevens is going to wish he never challenged me.

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Who's Andy Stevens?

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My school nemesis.

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He thinks I'm a poser. Too chicken to jump my own ramp.

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Which is why I have to do it.

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Can you film me?

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Oh, mate, can I do it a little later?

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I have to call someone back. Listen, if Mum comes by looking for a hug,

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tell her I went that way, yeah?

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Batasha, come back!

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Robbie, you ruin everything!

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Wait, was that a bat? Are you trying to become a vampire again?

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Ethan, you are not allowed to become a vampire.

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That is the last time I want to have this conversation,

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-do you understand?

-Yes.

-Good.

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Right, Robbie, let's go build that super ramp.

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It's built. I need you to film me riding it.

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Hang on. How did you get hold of my tools?

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I didn't. Matt helped me.

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Wait, you built a super ramp with no tools

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and the help of the worst builder in the house?

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It's majestic.

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That's actually pretty cool.

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Cool?

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Are you serious? He can't go on that thing, it's a death-trap.

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-Exactly.

-What do you mean?

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It's perfectly safe.

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Robbie, no!

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In your face, Andy Stevens.

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Robbie, no!

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Dad!

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Are you trying to kill yourself?

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We used, like, seven rolls of tape. It's perfectly safe.

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Look, how would you feel

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if I was doing something stupid and dangerous?

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I'd rather like to see that, actually.

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Me too. Jump the ramp, Dad.

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Quiet, you, Vlad the Impaler.

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Well, this is one way not to be the summer ogre.

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Be the summer fairy.

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You look amazing!

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This was a great plan, Ginger.

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Totally. Nothing can go wrong.

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Probably shouldn't have said that.

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Sweetie. Can we talk a minute?

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Not now, I'm doing my taxes.

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Wow, OK.

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About the summer fairy.

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She doesn't exist.

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-What was that?

-I think that was her.

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See, the older kids can't admit that they believe in her,

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because their friends don't think she's cool.

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# La-la-la-la I'm a fairy!

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# Yoo-hoo! Summer fairy. #

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Summer fairy!

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Summer fairy!

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I think she went around the house.

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Come on.

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-BOYS:

-Jump it! Jump it! Jump it! Jump it! Jump it!

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You think you want me to jump, but you don't.

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-Soon as I lean forward...

-Get rolling, old man!

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No. I won't!

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Look, I only set foot on this ramp

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so that I could prove that you two aren't monsters.

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-Well, obviously, I was wrong. Now...

-Bob?

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Summer Fairy!

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No! Oh!

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-IN SLOW-MOTION:

-Bob!

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Bob?

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Are you OK?

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Oh! That was a bumpy ride.

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But at least the ramp stayed together.

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CREAKING

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CRASH!

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Oh, no, there it goes.

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I'm so sorry, Dad.

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I thought your jump was going to be funny,

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but that wasn't funny at all.

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Yeah, Dad. You were right.

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I was scared for you. I feel terrible, I'm so sorry.

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Robbie. What happened to our ramp?

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We used so much tape.

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Whoa, Dad! Are you OK?

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Ginger, you got my cape dirty!

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Ginger?

0:19:410:19:42

Ginger, you lied!

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Chris, I'm so sorry. I felt bad about earlier.

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Plus, being the summer fairy's way better than being the summer ogre.

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Oh, Chris, wait.

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This is all my fault.

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Mummy made up the summer fairy.

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I knew it! You're a liar, too!

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Chris, don't be mad at her.

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She was just trying to make you happy.

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It's true. I love making you smile,

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but I realise now that you're growing up, Christopher.

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And even though Mummy doesn't like it very much, she has to accept it.

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Don't be sad. No matter how big I get, I'll always love you.

0:20:170:20:21

Oh!

0:20:210:20:23

SHE MOUTHS

0:20:230:20:24

-Bat!

-ALL SCREAM

0:20:270:20:28

Batasha!

0:20:280:20:29

Er, hello?

0:20:310:20:34

Dad, I am so sorry.

0:20:430:20:44

I got caught up in things here and forgot all about you.

0:20:440:20:47

That's been happening a lot lately, hasn't it?

0:20:490:20:51

OK, well, get ready for a super-long catch up.

0:20:510:20:54

Starting with three months ago.

0:20:540:20:57

Did I tell you about that dance competition?

0:20:570:21:00

Oh, it was awesome! And we had a supply teacher named Miss Shapen.

0:21:000:21:03

That was her actual name!

0:21:030:21:05

And they were covered in custard!

0:21:050:21:07

And then Chris was like, "I'm Christopher."

0:21:070:21:09

So that's why I'm dressed like this.

0:21:090:21:11

Yeah. The summer of Ginger.

0:21:110:21:14

And I even got to write my name in the new path.

0:21:140:21:17

Chris.

0:21:170:21:18

If I had one wish after today,

0:21:240:21:26

it'll be that I could see you sooner.

0:21:260:21:29

Too bad the summer fairy's only a figment of...

0:21:290:21:31

Wait, did you see that?

0:21:340:21:35

Was it...?

0:21:370:21:39

No, no, no, no.

0:21:390:21:41

Wait. Was it?

0:21:410:21:44

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