The Maxum Switcheroo Sidekick


The Maxum Switcheroo

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick

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# What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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-# But only half as big

-Sidekick! #

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IDLE CHATTER

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Why isn't Pamplemoose here yet?

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He's never late for class.

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And what's with the plant?

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Yah!

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CLASS SCREAMS

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PAMPLEMOOSE CACKLES

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Today we will learn the importance of staying hidden.

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-First...

-HE SNIFFS

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Those of you who need to change your pants,

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please do so now.

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SQUELCH

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Who here thinks they know something about hiding in plain sight?

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Piece of cake.

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Trevor! That's the "Man of 1,000 Faces" device!

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Where did you get it?

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IN VANA'S VOICE: I took it from the mansion.

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Um, it must've fell into the secret compartment

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in my boot, somehow.

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OK...

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Well, stop looking like me!

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The red does bring out her eyes...

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His eyes... My eyes... You're freaking me out!

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ZOOP TREVOR CHUCKLES

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Herr Troublemeyer.

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A perfect example of wearing a disguise...

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mit der stolen device!

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Detention for you!

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IN ERIC'S VOICE: Don't yell at Trevor, it was my fault -

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Eric. That's me.

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Did I mention I'm Eric?

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Give me that!

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For the interschool super report,

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I'm Rusty Waters, at the Splitsboro Aquarium,

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where a basket of kittens was just seen floating

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in the robotic shark exhibit.

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MEOWING

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Oh...my...

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kittens!

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Eric! Help them!

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I'll get the Maxum-mobile, then...

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Cannonball!

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SPLOSH MEOWING

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AUDIENCE SCREAMS

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CLASS CHEERS

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It can't be.

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-CLASS:

-Aw.

-Maxum man?

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He's back?

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-He's back!

-ERIC LAUGHS

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He's back, he's back, he's back!

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I'm not alone any more!

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Which is to say... I'm not alone...in my happiness.

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Got to go!

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Brain? Is he here?

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I can't believe Maxum Man is finally back!

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Yes, is it not wonderful?

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This means I don't have to save the world by myself any more.

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I won't get pummelled by bad guys all the time

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and I'll finally have a partner

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for karaoke death match on Thursday nights!

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BELCH

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Hey, we got any barbecue sauce in this joint?

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Hey, kid. Now's not a good time for an autograph, OK?

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Autograph? No, I don't want...

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It's me! Your sidekick.

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Right. Jimmy.

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-No, it's...

-Skipper?

-Uh, no.

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Billy? Geppetto?

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Keanu?

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What? No, it's Eric.

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SIRENS

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Oh! If you'll excuse me, Ian, sounds like my pizza's ready.

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Actually, Maxum Man, sir -

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it is a distress call from downtown.

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Aw, isn't saving a basket of kittens enough for one day?

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Ha-ha! Good one, Maxum man.

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Come on, I'll tag along.

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MAXUM MAN SIGHS. Oh, all right.

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Maxum Man?

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It's great to have you back.

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Here, hold this for me.

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Ahem. PFFFRT!

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SCREAMS

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It's a runaway toxic waste truck.

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Are you going to super compress it with your super-strength

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into a functional, yet attractive super park bench?

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Hm-hm. Relax, Ashton. I've got a plan.

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Whoa!

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It's "Eric".

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Watch and learn, my boy.

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HONK SCREECH

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Tanker stopped, Swellburger destroyed.

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I'm off the clock.

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-CHEERING

-Great job, Maxum Man!

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Nice job, Magazine Man.

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Wow, hot oil and explosions

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and it didn't even crease your uniform!

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Was that the best plan, though?

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-KITTY GASPS

-What am I saying?

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You're Maxum man, of course it was the best plan! Ha-ha!

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Oh...Sidekicks.

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No autographs.

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Got to head back to my multimillion dollar mansion now.

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Let's roll!

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See you, Sidekicks.

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Me and my Super got to split.

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CRACKING SOUND

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How ironic.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello? Oh, Maxum Mom.

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You saw the news, huh?

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Yeah, he's here.

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Maxum Man? Your mom's on the phone!

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Eh, tell her I'm dead.

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He's, uh...doing his butt clenches.

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-He'll have to call you back.

-BIP

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Sidekick, iron that.

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No burn marks and easy on the starch.

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I chafe easily.

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What the...? This isn't right.

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This cape size is a 52 regular.

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Maxum Man wears a 56 long.

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HE GASPS

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Who am I talking to?

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Mattress Man is a fake?

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No way!

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I know, I don't even want to think about it.

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So what are you going to do?

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I decided I'd try a test,

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just to prove that he's really Maxum Man -

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which I'm sure he is...

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kind of.

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I just hope he passes this test.

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'Mama. Mama.'

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Where'd you get the doll?

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Uh, the store... Vana... Nowhere.

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-'Mama.'

-Bull's-eye!

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OK, Trevor.

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Wait in the crane for my signal.

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I'll wave, then you destroy the building.

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I'm so on it! Boom!

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TREVOR CHUCKLES

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-BLEEP

-Maxum man, help!

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There's a baby trapped in the abandoned construction site!

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-'So?'

-So, you need to rescue it!

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MAXUM MAN SIGHS

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'OK, I'm on my way.'

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FZZZT!

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OK, Maxum man.

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Time to see if you can fly.

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Want Dolly. Pretty Dolly.

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Must...

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have...

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dolly!

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Oh, no, no-no-no-no-no!

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Little girl, come back!

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-GULP

-Stop! Stop, little girl, wait!

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TREVOR SNORES Whuh? Huh? Uh?

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Stop!

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Guess that's the signal.

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Time to destroy stuff.

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Hey, there. Don't be scared.

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We have to get down, before... Wahhh!

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Hup!

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CHEERING

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He's not an impostor! He is the real Maxum Man!

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I knew it... Sort of.

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Wow. You got your super,

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I got to destroy things...

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It's a good day.

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-BZZT!

-Agh!

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Brain? What's wrong with the mansion security systems?

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Oh, that.

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Maxum man changed all the access codes

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and wanted me to tell you that you're being fired.

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What?! Why...why...why would...

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The real Maxum Man wouldn't!

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Where is he? And why would he fry me like that?

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Oh, that part was all me.

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And he is at City Hall.

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They are having a banquet in his honour.

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Well, he's about to have a special guest.

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WHISPERS

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Huh. I wonder who he's talking to?

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RASPIER VOICE: I had my jet pack on under my duds.

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Totally fooled that nosy twerp.

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I don't know where Maxum Man is, but this is the best gig I ever had!

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PFFFRT! HE SNIFFS

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No more birthdays and bar mitzvahs, Ari.

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I'm a Maxum Man impersonator no more.

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I am Maxum Man!

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Yeah, yeah, you still get your 10%.

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ERIC SIGHS

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He IS a phoney.

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Now I have to figure out how to expose him.

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OK, I've got to bolt. What? No, no, Ari, no!

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No, I don't want to talk to her, no, I...

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HE SIGHS

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Hi, Mom...

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So, he's afraid of his mom, eh?

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It's unfortunate that Maxum Mom

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wasn't able to make tonight's festivities.

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That's one fine strapping woman.

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Oh, yeah...her.

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Well, she's very old and delicate

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and doesn't like going out much, so, uh...

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Gaaaaah-ha-ha!

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Maxie-baby!

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You've been a naughty boy,

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not calling your mother!

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Uh, you're Maxum Man's mom.

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Yup.

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And you... are not my son!

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AUDIENCE GASPS

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You're just some cheap Maxum Man impersonator.

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Well, that's crazy talk!

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Of course I'm your son.

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Mommy?

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GULP

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My son can fly, so if you really are him,

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then how...do you explain this?

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INSECT HUMS TO HIMSELF

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Gaw!

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Is...anyone else uncomfortable?

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Madam, what is the meaning of this?

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OK, so he took the jet pack off.

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But he's a fake and I'll prove it.

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If you're really Maxum Man, like you say you are,

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then what's your Sidekick's name?

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MURMURS

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Arnie? No...

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Bruno! Uh...

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Suzie?

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AUDIENCE GASPS

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It's Eric! My name is Eric!

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Don't hurt me! I bruise like a summer peach!

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Ow!

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AUDIENCE GASPS

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Oh, my gosh!

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He-he! He's not the only one who's good at playing dress up!

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Ha-ha!

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ZOOP!

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Eric, well done.

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Now, where is the real Maxum Man?

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He is the guest of honour.

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Oh, he's off saving the world from meteors...

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or volcano eruptions...

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or...volcanic meteors.

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ZOOP

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IN VANA'S VOICE: This thing is awesome.

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Would you stop looking like me?

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-Ahhh!

-No, Vana! Wait!

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-Ahhhh!

-SMASH!

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ZOOP

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-Oh, no!

-This isn't good.

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This is much, much worse.

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Oh, my gosh!

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Wicked!

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