Browse content similar to Episode 5. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# La la, la-la-la-la | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
# La la, la-la-la-la-la-la | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
# O-o-o-o-o-o-oh! | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
# La la, la-la-la-la | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
# La la, la-la-la-la | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
# La la la, la-la-la-la. # | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
Martin. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:21 | |
Martin, I need you to get up now, please. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
Dad wants you to mow the lawn and then I need you to go round | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
to Mr Adams' at number 42, to run some errands. His leg's playing up. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:31 | |
Hmmp. Maybe my bees can help. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
Sorry, what did you say? | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
I said, maybe my bees can help. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Bees aren't alarm clocks. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Yes, but bees are early risers, Mrs Green. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
They know how to wake up and how to wake each other up. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
My bees will fly out of the hive, up the stairs | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
and will use their gentle buzzing | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
and the pleasant flapping of their tiny wings | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
to rouse Martin, both firmly and gently, from sleep. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:57 | |
Well, brilliant. Be my guest. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
They are brilliant bees. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
I'll just give them a few brief instructions. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
B-z-z-z-z-z-z. Wake him up. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
B-z-z-z-z-z-z. The chap upstairs. B-z-z-z. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
Under the duvet. B-z-z-z-z-z-z. The boy, yep. Go on. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
B-z-z-z-z-z-z. As you practised. OK, b-z-z, b-z-z. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
Oh, B-Z-Z-Z! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
Wake up a-go-go, my bees. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
BUZZING | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
Argh! No, no, up the stairs! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
No, no! Argh! | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Argh! Argh! | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
All right, all right! I'm up! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
That seemed to do the trick. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:31 | |
No, no, no! Argh! Argh! | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
Brave Vikings, as you know, Brunhilda has taken | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
the women away for the Annual Viking Lady Winter Picnic. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:50 | |
And we have been left here, looking after the baby. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Won't be a problem for such brave, fierce Vikings as us. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
Oh, no, no. There'll be no problem at all, looking after Little Sven. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:03 | |
-Yes? -No, no, not you, Sven. I was referring to my son. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
-Oh, right. -Little Sven. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
-Yes? -No! | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
Pay attention! I knew it was a mistake to call him Little Sven. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:15 | |
-Yes? -No! Oh, honestly, Sven, | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
I've had it up to my horns with you and your idiotic behaviour. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
-You drive me mad. -That's a bit harsh on the baby, Chief. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
-He's only only having a little nap. -Oh! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
-Coochie-coochie... -Don't touch him, you'll wake him. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
He's very cute when he's asleep, isn't he? | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
Oh, look at his tiny hands | 0:02:33 | 0:02:37 | |
and his tiny little feet. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:38 | |
And his tiny beard. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
ALL: Yes! | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
-W-a-a-h! -ALL: Argh! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:44 | |
-W-a-a-h! -ALL: Argh! | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
-W-a-a-h! -ALL: Argh! | 0:02:48 | 0:02:49 | |
-W-a-a-h! -ALL: Argh! | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
Please, please, please, calm down. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
There is no need for screaming. It's just a little baby. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
Coochie-coochie-coo. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
-Burp! -Ooh! ALL: Argh! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
'The lunchtime traffic through the town centre is very, very light, | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
'making your journey an absolute breeze. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
'It's 12.30, time for The Easy Hour.' | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Mummy! | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Mum, it's half past twelve, I should have been at school hours ago. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:25 | |
Why didn't you wake me? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:26 | |
And why did you unplug my alarm clock? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Don't whinge, Timmy. Mummy's got this under control. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
Oh, but, Mummy, I'm going to be in terrible trouble | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
with the headmaster and I'm going to miss backgammon club. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
Don't be a negative ninny, Timmy. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
I'm sorry, Mummy, you're right, | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
but how am I going to get to school on time at this rate? | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
That's easy, Popsy! | 0:03:43 | 0:03:44 | |
Mummy's going to drive you. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
Once we get to school, I'll use the...Time Laser. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:51 | |
Time Laser? | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
Yes, Tiddles. And once we get to the school gates, | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
having breezed through the light lunchtime traffic, | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
I'm going to zap you with this time-travel laser, | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
popping you back four hours, just in time for double Geography. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
Oh, and I get a lie-in?! Oh, Mummy, that's brilliant! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
Yes, Mummy's not just a pretty face. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
-Ooh! -Oh! | 0:04:10 | 0:04:11 | |
Time to put your uniform on. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
Righty-ho and a side-order of jolly good! | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
-Oh, let's get you to school, Timothy. -Mummy? -Mmm? | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
-Are you sure this is going to work? -Of course, you little worry wart. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
-But... -Would you like to have a test run? | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
-Would that set Timmy's little mind at rest? -Yes, Mummy! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Very well, Tiddles. I'm just going to set it to five minutes ago | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
-when I point and shoot. -See you five minutes ago! | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
Bye, bye, Tiddles! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
ZAPPING | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
Oh, gosh. Looks like Mummy sent you back a little bit far in time. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:50 | |
I'll, eh, just get the carry-cot. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
COMMENTATOR: And look at the concentration here, | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
as the long jump competition reaches it's climax. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
Yes, this Australian, of indeterminate age, | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
is known as a bit of a practical joker in the locker rooms. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Really, Trevor? What sort of things does he get up to? | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
-Mainly biting people. -I see. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
But it's down to business now. Here he comes. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
There's the American competitor! This is interesting. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
How will the officials score this? | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
I don't think points are on his mind, Trevor. Watch out for that bite! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
-Chocolate? -Oh, go on! Oh, violet cream ,lovely. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:34 | |
Oh, my go. Oh, violet cream. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
-Not my favourite, just my luck. -Hannah? | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
Not a big fan of the violet creams, Have you go a caramely one? | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
Yes, I'm sure I do. There we go! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
Oh, sorry. Not a violet cream, a caramel. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
Oh, right! They're the purple ones, aren't they? | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
-There we are. -No, I don't want that one. -Oh, no! | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
You wanted a violet cream. They're the purple ones. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
-Not purple. -No, you want a violet one. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
I don't want a violet cream, I want a caramel. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
Right. You look at this little menu of the chocolates, | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
tell me which you want and I'll get it. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:03 | |
-A caramel. -Which is that? | 0:06:03 | 0:06:04 | |
-In the green wrapper. -The violet cream? -No. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
-You pointed to the violet cream. -No, I didn't. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
The caramel in the green wrapper. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
I see what's happened. I misread which one you were pointing at, | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
because you've got quite a wide finger. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
I thought you pointed at the green one, | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
but you were pointing at the violet cream. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
There you are. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
Put that back in the box. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
Now, do not ask me if I want a violet cream. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
I do not want a violet cream. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
I never asked for a violet cream. What kind of idiot | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
wants a chocolate made out of flowers? | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
-I quite like them. -You stay out of it! | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
Gerald, give my a caramel in a green wrapper, yeah? | 0:06:37 | 0:06:41 | |
And give it to me now, before I get very, very upset. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:45 | |
Oh, I see what's happened here. I've got all mixed up. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
-You want a green one? -Yes. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:49 | |
-There you go. -Thank you. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
-Violet cream! -Green wrapper, like you asked. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
-Gerald? -Mm-hm? -Give me the box. -No. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
-Give me the box. -No. -The box. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:04 | |
What happened to all the others? | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
I ate them. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
So, erm, which chocolate do you want? | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
Violet cream. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
Hmm? Delicious? | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
-Yuch! -Another one? | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
Emily and Monty Forrest have been an acting, singing | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
and dancing duo for seven years. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
In that time, they've auditioned for more than 17,000 roles together - | 0:07:33 | 0:07:37 | |
without success. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
# Not a sound from the pavement | 0:07:40 | 0:07:44 | |
# Has the moon lost her memory? # | 0:07:44 | 0:07:48 | |
-Rrrr, rrrr. -Miaow. -Miaow, miaow, miaow, which is cat language for | 0:07:48 | 0:07:53 | |
-"Hello!" -Hello, you two. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
-Let me guess, Joseph And His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat? -No! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:59 | |
You big silly! Today, we're auditioning for Cats. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
Well, you're both looking great. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
Have you done any special preparation for the audition? | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
Yes, well, the reserach we've done seems to indicate | 0:08:08 | 0:08:12 | |
-this is predominantly a show about -cats! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
-Yeah, so for the last fortnight, we've been looking at -cats, | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
-studying the movements, the actions, the voices of -cats! | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
-And we're pretty much ready for any show that is about -cats! | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
Yes, we've got it down to a fine art. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
-Cats - we're actually very realistic. -Cats! Miaow! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:33 | |
For example, I'm fascinated by this piece of wool. Miaow! Miaow! Miaow! | 0:08:33 | 0:08:39 | |
And I actually really like eating cat food. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
Mmm! | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
-First I've kept down. -Hmm, well done. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
Just like a real cat. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Rrriow! I hate mice! | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
Oh, just let me curl up by that radiator. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
Often, when people are eating, I'll just get up on the table | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
and, sort of, back towards them, with no trousers on. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
He-he-he! Miaow! Rrioaw! | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
Oh, let me at those birds, will ya? | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
-Rrrar! Rrrar! -Hairball. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
HE COUGHS, SHE LAUGHS | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
So, all in all, I think they'll be pretty impressed. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
-Oops. -Eh, OK, Emily and Monty Forrest? | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
-That's us. Wish us luck. -Hope this isn't a cat-astrophe! | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
Could be cat-aclysmic! | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
Yeah, feline pretty good about this one?! | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
Cat-egorically, yes, Monty. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
Let's hope we don't need nine lives. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
-It's just in here. -OK. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
-Miaow! -Rrr, rrr, rrr, m-i-i-i-aow! | 0:09:42 | 0:09:47 | |
So... | 0:09:55 | 0:09:56 | |
No, we didn't get it. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:57 | |
I think the director thought our portrayal of the cats was too real. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
Yeah, in retrospect, probably a mistake to have peed in his shoe. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
-There he is, the director. -Changed his mind. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
YELPING | 0:10:09 | 0:10:10 | |
Dog! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
-Rriaow! Rriaow! -Woof! | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:10:13 | 0:10:17 | |
Happy mealtime to you, love. What can I get you? | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
I'd like, eh... | 0:10:21 | 0:10:22 | |
Oh, your big red button of doom is broken? | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
Yeah, I know, repair man's coming out on Tuesday to fix it. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
That's great! I mean... | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
..how awful for you. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
(Her big red button's broken.) | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
-(Do you mean, we can order what we like? -Without fear?) | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
(Excellent!) | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
Cod and chips, please! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
-Me, too. -And me. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
INTERMITTENT BUZZING | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
BEEPING | 0:11:03 | 0:11:04 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:08 | |
Hello, hello, hello. What can I get you, little sweet cheeks? | 0:11:11 | 0:11:17 | |
So, how did you get on in the maths exam? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
-I got 100%. -Oh, well done, dear! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
-Mr Miller said it was the best exam he'd ever seen. -You worked very hard. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
-We're very proud. -This calls for a treat. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
-We're going to the funfair to celebrate! -Great! | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
-No, not you. -Why not? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
-Seems to me you're very good at maths. -I suppose so. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
So, you could work out what a third of our monthly gas bill might be. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:47 | |
I expect so. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:48 | |
A bill that you don't contribute to. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
But I only get £2 a week pocket money. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
Whilst your mother and I pay the entire amount. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
It seems only reasonable that we go to the funfair. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
Oh. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:00 | |
Don't worry, dear. We've thought of you, you won't get bored. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
We've hired a special babysitter. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
-Mr Miller? -That's right. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:09 | |
He's going to look after you - and do some extra maths. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
Enjoy! | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
If you'd like to get your pen out, Peter, we shall start | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
with some rather difficult and challenging equations. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
Hurry up, dear. I want to hook a duck | 0:12:22 | 0:12:23 | |
and then ride on the dodgems at least five times. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Have a lovely evening. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
Right, OK, Peter, settle down, please. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
Can we begin with 1,953 ¸ 17, Peter. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:38 | |
Quickly. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:39 | |
-1,900... -Quickly! -..and 53... | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
# Oh, love, love me do You know I love you | 0:13:08 | 0:13:13 | |
# I'll always... # | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
Hello, Cindy, darling. Nice day at school? | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
Whoa, whoa! Before you two start clucking, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
give us a hand bringing this shopping in. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Ooh, he bought your favourite for tea? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
Oh, well, what's that? Dung? | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
Maybe. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:28 | |
O-o-o-oh! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Less of your cheek, you. Come on. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
Yeah, in a minute. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
What's the matter, Pookie? | 0:13:33 | 0:13:34 | |
-Oh! Cindy! -What the...? | 0:13:36 | 0:13:40 | |
Thought we'd had this talk. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
But, Mum, all the other girls at school have got 'em. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
I told you, Missy. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:48 | |
You're too young for dots. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:49 | |
Yeah, not to mention the wrong species. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
To think, a daughter of mine | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
painting herself up like a cheap ladybird. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
I love red, it's my favourite colour. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Be that as it maybe, we are dung beetles. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
Our favourite colour is... | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
brown! | 0:14:06 | 0:14:07 | |
It's the colour of poo. I hate you! | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
You're very immature to bring poo into this. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
Now, come on, bring that dung in. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Oh! | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
Brown's fine with me, though, darling. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
-He-he! Check out these wing casings. -Ooh, aren't they brown? | 0:14:22 | 0:14:27 | |
Ooh, let me muzzle you, darling. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
Ooops, watch! | 0:14:29 | 0:14:30 | |
-It's not easy. -Aah! -There we go. -Yuch! | 0:14:32 | 0:14:36 | |
SWOOSH! | 0:14:38 | 0:14:39 | |
-What are you doing? -Golf. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:41 | |
Lovely, can I play? | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
I've only one controller, mate. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
Don't worry, I've got my own gear. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
You need a controller to play properly, mate. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
I'll give it a try. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
Nine-iron, I think. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT LOUDLY | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
GLASS BREAKS | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-Ooh! Sliced it a bit! -Ohhh... | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
-I'll go again, shall I? -Urgh! | 0:15:10 | 0:15:11 | |
Hello? | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Is anybody here? | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Jeff, let's just go, there's nobody here. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
The sign on the door said open! | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
-We are indeed open! Welcome! -'Elcome! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Do excuse Mr Faraway. He lost his W's in a fire. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:31 | |
A terrible tragedy, Mr Elevenses, but there you are! | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
A twerrible twagedy intweed. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
-But what can you do? -Nothing. Nothing. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
But! We bid you 'elcome to... | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
BOTH: The Museum of Imagination! | 0:15:42 | 0:15:46 | |
Oh, I see. The Museum... | 0:15:46 | 0:15:47 | |
BOTH: ..of Imagination! | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Oh. Whaddaya got? | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
What 'aven't we got, is a better question. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:54 | |
'Hat haven't we got, indeed. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
Take a look here. | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
Beneath this cloth of finest silk, | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
there lurks the perfectly preserved head of a cyclops. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:06 | |
The mythical one-eyed giant whose head was found preserved in a mountain in Greece. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:12 | |
-Mountains! -Well, that's incredible! | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
It is the most amazing thing you will ever see! | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
BOTH: In your imagination! | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
-But there's nothing there! -It's empty. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
No, it is there. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:26 | |
BOTH: In your imagination! | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
OK, fine. What else do you have? | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
All kinds of incredible things! | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
Look over here! | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
The diamond-encrusted death mask of Tutankhamen lies beneath. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
-It is said to be cursed. -Cursed! -Cursed! | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
Well, that is incredible, I have always wanted to see that. It's amazing that it's here! | 0:16:48 | 0:16:52 | |
-Well, it's definitely here... -BOTH: In your imagination! | 0:16:52 | 0:16:56 | |
OK, right, I got it. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
I think we've had enough, come on, Jenny. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
Please, please, stay! | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
Have a look at our pamphlet. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
BOTH: In your imagination! | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
Right, that's it! We are leaving! | 0:17:09 | 0:17:10 | |
What was wrong with them? Didn't they want to see the holy grail?! | 0:17:11 | 0:17:15 | |
I suppose not. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
I see you got your W's back, Mr Faraway? | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
How 'onderful, Mr Elevenses. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
RELIGIOUS MUSIC PLAYS | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
THEY SING A NOTE | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Hm, this looks like a classic case of photographer's eyelid. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:30 | |
-What does that mean? -Just blink for me? | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
CAMERA SHUTTER NOISE | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
It means that. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:35 | |
Hey! That's cool! | 0:17:35 | 0:17:36 | |
Stop that! | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Hm! Nice shot! | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
Hello, I want to break a record. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:55 | |
-Well, you've come to the right office. -Good! | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
-What record? -Juggling! -Juggling. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Yes! I shall attempt to juggle the most balls ever at one time. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
What's the record? | 0:18:04 | 0:18:05 | |
Sandra? Juggling? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
Thank you. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
12 balls. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:12 | |
Easy! I've been practising for years. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
Right. Off you go then. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:16 | |
Oh, I've left my balls at home but I'll just juggle what's on your desk. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
-Well... -Don't worry! | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
One, two, three, pop it in there... | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
..five...that one there... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
six, seven, eight... | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Erm, I need one more. Give us your glasses! | 0:18:32 | 0:18:36 | |
No, it's fine! I know what I'm doing! | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
Please be careful. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
Prepare to be amazed! | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
Never before has one man juggled 13 objects at one time! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:48 | |
That, ladies and gentlemen, is about to change. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
Oh... | 0:18:56 | 0:18:57 | |
-What's the record? -12. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
-How did I do? -None. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
Oh! So close! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
Just 12 off! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
Here's your glasses. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:10 | |
They look fine. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
FIDDLE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
This is the remote Outer Hebridean island of North Barrasay. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
And this is Valerie Carpenter, head and only teacher at the school which has only one pupil. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:28 | |
It's a nerve-wracking day for the staff at North Barrasay, | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
as the Schools Inspector is visiting from the mainland. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
So, Valerie, are you worried about the School Inspector's visit? | 0:19:39 | 0:19:44 | |
Och, no, no. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
I think once he engages with the children | 0:19:46 | 0:19:50 | |
he's going to realise our standards are way up there with the mainland. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:55 | |
Right. Class. I just wanted to have a quick chat, get to know you. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:07 | |
I am the Schools Inspector but don't let that worry you, | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
we don't tell off pupils, only teachers. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:14 | |
HE TITTERS | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
No, but seriously, her job IS on the line, | 0:20:17 | 0:20:20 | |
so don't let her down. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:21 | |
Later, Mr Stevenson sits in on the history lesson. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:32 | |
Miss! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
-How come we're using the new history books? -Erm... | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
I don't know what you mean, Ross! | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
You said we couldn't use the new ones, cos I'd get them all grubby. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
I'm quite sure I have no idea what you're talking about. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
Oh, OK. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:49 | |
Oh, look, it's even got how WW2 finishes! | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
WE WON!!! Brilliant! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
It's not been going too well. but Valerie has a trick or two up her sleeve, | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
so the class can make the best possible impression. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
Ross, if you're sure you know the answer, put up your right hand, | 0:21:07 | 0:21:12 | |
if you're sure you don't know the answer, put up your left hand. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
-Have you got it? -I've got it. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
Valerie, are you sure this is a good idea? | 0:21:17 | 0:21:20 | |
Oh, absolutely. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:22 | |
It's just a little trick we teachers use to make the class look a bit more responsive. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:27 | |
OK, ahem, right... | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Now, class, let's try a bit of physics first of all, | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
just an oral test first. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:38 | |
How many grammes are there in a kilogramme? | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
-Oh! -Yes, Ross. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
-Is it a thousand, Miss? -Excellent. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
Ahm. Now, moving on, bit more physics. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
Now, Carbon-14 is an isotope. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
What is its half-life to the nearest thousand years? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:55 | |
Anybody? | 0:21:57 | 0:21:58 | |
No-one? | 0:22:00 | 0:22:01 | |
No? Anybody? No. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:02 | |
No. OK, moving on, now let's do a bit of Spanish... | 0:22:02 | 0:22:06 | |
Erm, I think Ross had the answer. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
-No, we're doing Spanish now. -Well, I think you should let Ross answer. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
Actually, I'd rather not. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
Well, that seems very odd to me, I can't say I fully understand what's going on here. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:21 | |
What I'd also like to know is why you have | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
"Know" written on that hand and "Don't know" written on this hand. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:30 | |
Hm? Perhaps somebody can explain to me exactly what's going on here? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:35 | |
Yes? Ross? | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
Oh, you don't know. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
Right. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:47 | |
Poor. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:49 | |
So, Valerie, how do you think it went today? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
Yes, I actually think it was very productive, you know. | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
And on the inspector's recommendation, | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
I'm actually implementing some new staff training, | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
-I'm working on it now. -Can we have a look? | 0:23:06 | 0:23:09 | |
Uh...well...no. No. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
Valerie, has Mr Stevenson given you lines? | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
Well, they're more guidelines, if you like, I suppose... | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
-No talking back there! -Sorry. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:24 | |
Could you just go? I'll get into trouble! | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
I'll talk to you at the break-time if that's OK. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Valerie Carpenter! Don't make me come back there! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
Sorry. Go! | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
Hi. Yeah, hi, Lily. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
No, I'm afraid I can't make it tonight. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
Yeah. Yeah, I... | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
Josh, this is the wrong meal. Tell her I ordered the omelette. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
What, me? Why me? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
What? I can't, Lily. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
-Darren... -No, I'm afraid I've... | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
-Oi! -I've got football practice. -Oi! | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
Hang on. WHAT?! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
I'm not sure I can do it. I'm rubbish at complaining. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:05 | |
I always make a mess of it. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:06 | |
-Tell her I ordered the omelette! -She doesn't look very friendly. And I bet she hates ghosts. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:11 | |
Here we go again! Whining on about being a ghost! I'm sick of it! | 0:24:11 | 0:24:15 | |
Hi, Lily, yeah, I think... | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
I can come round after football practice. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
Just tell her! | 0:24:21 | 0:24:22 | |
How did the exams go? | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
Erm... | 0:24:24 | 0:24:25 | |
-HIGH VOICE: -Excuse me! | 0:24:27 | 0:24:28 | |
What? | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
HE MOUTHS | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
WHOOO!!!! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:38 | |
It's a ghost! | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
THEY ALL SCREAM | 0:24:41 | 0:24:43 | |
I know, but you can't say that. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:50 | |
It's incredibly offensive in New Zealand. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
Guys, could you hold...? > | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
Guys, could you...? | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
-It's your friend Louise. -Oh, right, yeah. Hold the lift. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
-We'll never do anything to embarrass her. -Or she'll inflate, believe me, I remember. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
-And she embarrasses very easily. -Don't worry. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
Oh, hi, guys. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
Oh, thank you. Oh... | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
-Number three, please. -Yeah. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
FARTING NOISE | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
Oh, no... | 0:25:20 | 0:25:21 | |
RUMBLING NOISE | 0:25:21 | 0:25:26 | |
Oh, no, it's happening again. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
Erm...second floor. Is this where you two get out? | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
This could take a while. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
Nice day for it! | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
-Toothache, is it? -Yes. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
-I've got a toothache. -You wanna get that seen to. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
-I AM getting it seen to. -Oh, that's good. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
-You can go next if you like. -I AM in next. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
What you need is something to take your mind off it. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
WAHEY! | 0:26:07 | 0:26:08 | |
SHE MOANS WITH PAIN | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
It's, "WAYHEY!" | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
Not, "Argh!" | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
Right, let's give it a go. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:16 | |
WAHEY! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
Wah-argh-oh! | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
Still not really getting the "WAHEY!" effect. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:25 | |
I like what you did with your arms though. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
But you wanna get them up above your head, | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
not like you're holding a couple of lemons. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:32 | |
Maybe one more go. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:33 | |
And I'm not forgetting you in all of this! | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
Right. Here we go... | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
WAHEY! | 0:26:39 | 0:26:40 | |
Look. Can you please just shut up and leave me alone? | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
Not bad, at least you're standing up, we'll work on the words later. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
Oh, I'm in pain! | 0:26:48 | 0:26:49 | |
Not quite! WAHEY! | 0:26:49 | 0:26:53 | |
WAHEY! | 0:26:54 | 0:26:55 | |
Oh! The pain's gone! | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
That's it! WAHEY! | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
WAHEY! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:02 | |
BOO! | 0:27:02 | 0:27:03 | |
-BOO! -BOO! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
BOO! | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
-Right, who's next? | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
-She is. -No, I'm not! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:10 | |
Oh, yes you are! He's done it. I've done it... It's your turn. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
There's no need to be nervous. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
No, I'm waiting for a friend. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:16 | |
Of course. C'mon now, come with me... | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
Leave her alone! She's next! | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
-WAHEY! -WAHEY! | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
-WAHEY! -WAHEY! | 0:27:24 | 0:27:25 | |
WAHEY! | 0:27:25 | 0:27:26 | |
WAHEY...ohhh! | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
Let's see if we can't take the bite out of that spaniel. This way. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
Subtitles by FH Middleton Red Bee Media | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
Email [email protected] | 0:27:51 | 0:27:52 |