Episode 5 Sorry I've Got No Head


Episode 5

Children's comedy sketch show. Jasmine and Prudith go ice skating, and Mark tries to break more world records with his enormous feet.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

-Hullo, what can I get you?

-A hot dog.

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-Right, ketchup, onions, mustard?

-Just ketchup.

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There. One hot dog with onions and mustard.

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I wanted ketchup.

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-Oh, there you go. That'll be £2.50.

-I don't want onions and mustard.

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-No?

-Yeah.

-Yes there are.

-What?

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There's onions and mustard right there.

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I don't want onions and mustard.

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Right! My mistake, sorry, I'll get you another one.

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One hot dog with mustard and onions.

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-I said I no onions and mustard.

-So I gave you mustard and onions.

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-That's the same.

-No, I put the onions on first.

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I don't want mustard and onions.

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Make your mind up!

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-I don't like either of them. I just want ketchup.

-Oh, right.

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-What are you doing?

-Giving you just ketchup.

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-I don't want just ketchup.

-You want onions and mustard as well.

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Stop putting food in my hands!

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Oh, you want me to put it straight in your mouth.

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-Stop it!

-OK.

-Listen to me!

-Happy to, let's get this sorted.

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-I would like, a jumbo hot dog, in a hot dog roll.

-Oh, right.

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With no onions.

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-But loads of mustard!

-No!

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-No onions, like you said.

-Aaargh!

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-Absolutely. Ketchup?

-Aaagh!

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-Something wrong?

-I don't like mustard.

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Oh right! One hot dog roll, yeah?

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With one hot dog in.

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-I'm sorry.

-What now?

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I'm out of hot dogs.

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SLOW DRUMMING

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SQUEALING

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OMG. This cinnamon plumping lip gloss is like, so hot right now.

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It's so hot right now.

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-OMG, Jade?

-Sade's?

-It says here that legs are in this summer.

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-Legs are in?

-Legs are in.

-Know what's so hot right now?

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-What?

-Legs, legs are so in.

-Legs are so in. What's out?

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-It says here, bums.

-Bums?

-Yeah.

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-The skinny jean trend means that legs are in and...

-Bums are out.

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-Bums are out.

-Legs are in.

-In?

-In.

-Out.

-Out.

-Tot's.

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Legs are SO hot right now.

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Legs are hot cos you can, like, put tights on your legs and trousers?

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-You can't, like, put that on a bum?

-What is a bum even for?

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It's like, I'm so tot's over bums,

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like all we want know are celebrity legs, like fashionista legs?

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Legs are like vital for a transeasonal wardrobe.

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-OMG, but you know who's got legs?

-Who's got legs?

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-Dannii Minogue.

-Oh, Dannii Minogue? Urgh, she's so not hot.

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Dannii Minogue so has legs.

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You know who else has legs? Mrs Baker that does Geography.

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OMG. She's like, so tot's not hot.

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Leg's are so not hot.

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-Not hot?

-Not.

-Hot.

-Urgh.

-Urgh.

-BELL RINGS

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-Yoo-hoo! Little man.

-We're here for our 2.30 appointment with Guido.

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-What?

-I'm having a shampoo and set.

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I'm having a rinse, highlights and dreadlock extensions.

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If there's time, they'll shave her back.

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You're in the wrong place.

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But this, surely, is Guido's lady hair salon.

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-Where's Guido?

-Probably out back, waxing his pompadour.

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The tease. The Italian accent, the moustache that goes on forever.

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The missing eye.

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I think you're in the wrong place. This is an ice rink.

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-Spice drink?

-Rice honk?

-Lice place.

-I stink.

-Oh, you do.

-Yes, I know.

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No, no, an ICE rink.

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I mean, it doesn't even look remotely like a hair dressers.

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I did wonder why Guido had installed a massive, frozen, watery thing

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where all the hairdryers used to be.

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-I'm sure it said hairdressers outside.

-I read the sign.

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-Mind you, neither of us can read.

-No.

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-So what's your icy splink for?

-Oh, people skate around.

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-Yes, then what?

-That's it, just skate around.

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-Is there a reward at the end?

-No.

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What's the point of that?

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I never do a thing without the promise of a glazed ham.

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You know, skating's fun, it's fast, it's good exercise.

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-We do like things that are fun.

-Certainly do. Fun is my middle name.

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-No it isn't. It's Lennox.

-Technically, yes.

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-Lennox?

-It was a mix-up at the christening.

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-A fight.

-So, two adults for a skating session.

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You'll need to hire skates?

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-Come again?

-Beg pardon?

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-Do what, chief?

-Hire? HIRE?

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As in, grant the use of

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for a temporary period of time for an agreed sum of money?

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You need to hire skates, and pay for the session.

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Pay? Why, you sneaky, slidey, skatey, snake-oil salesman, you.

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-Nothing's free these days.

-Apart from hand dryers in the toilets.

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They won't dry clothes. Not with the state of my pants.

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This ice skooting malarkey won't come cheap.

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It'll be extra for the skoots.

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-Twice as much if you want them on both feet.

-More for the ice.

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They'll charge you to fall over. Double to get up again.

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Triple NOT to fall over.

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I would've thought you won't get much change out of £1,000.

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-£1,000?

-I should say about £1,000.

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-It's too much, £1,000. I shan't pay.

-It's what these things cost.

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No, look, it's £4 for the skate hire...

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-Ah, £1,000.

-He said it.

-With his own mouth.

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There you go, £1000 just to slide about on your mouse rink

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without even the promise of a glazed ham at the end.

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It's shocking, £1000. I feel sick.

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Come, Jasmine, let's book a cruise to the Antarctic,

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fly a private jet up a glacier

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and skate down on the back of a gold walrus.

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I hope you fall over on the ice and your tongue sticks to it,

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so the only way you can demand assistance

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is by shouting "Hulp! Hulp! Hulp!"

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-Good day!

-Ah ha!

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This is where I say something nice.

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-Look at this place.

-This place is absolutely amazing.

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Look at the novelty hats.

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Yeah! You know what? I'm going to get myself one.

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-All right.

-Excuse me...

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What do you think?

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Erm...

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it's good.

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Aaah, don't worry Danny.

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You don't think I'd leave my bestest pal in the whole world hatless?

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No, it's fine.

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I got you an extra special super-duper hat.

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I cannae wear that.

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But I bought it for you!

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My bestest pal in the whole world.

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It's the best one in the shop.

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It cost a fortune.

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-Oh, don't.

-Don't you like my gift?

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It's massive, it's the biggest hat I've ever seen.

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Exactly, which means it's the best. I made it big.

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You know how cool we are right now? No-one's got hats like these.

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Like, people are going to start following us, copying us.

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We are so cool right now. We're the best.

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-Uurrgh.

-We're kings.

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Having trouble washing the car?

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Bird's mess won't come off?

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That's because you're using a washing machine, you idiot.

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That's for clothes!

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Have you taken the whole car apart and rammed it in there?

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Well, it's a good thing. People like you don't deserve to be on the road.

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Now get out of my sight! Some people.

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Ah! I will never pull the sword from the stone, it's useless!

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I shall never become rightful King of England. That's irritating.

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That's really put a damper on my day.

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-Maybe my bees can help.

-I beg thy pardon?

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I said, maybe my bees can help.

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Sorry, I do not understand what you mean.

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Bees are excellent stonemasons.

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Using their tiny teeth and special mini hammers

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designed just for bees, my bees will fly around your rock

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and wear away at the stone until bada-boom-bada-buzz,

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-you grab the sword and become king.

-That'll work, will it?

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Yes. I'll give them instructions and they'll fly to your aid,

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helping you become the rightful King of England.

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Cracking!

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Buzz, buzz, buzz, lovely man, lovely hat.

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Buzz, buzz, so wants to be king. Ha!

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Buzz, buzz, loosen the old sword, buzz, buzz, come out easily.

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Ooh, almost forgot.

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Buzz, buzz!

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Now fly, my legend-loving beauties!

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-BEES BUZZ

-No, aargh!

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No, ooh, ow!

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Aargh! No, no!

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Well, I've looked at your results,

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and it looks to me as if you've got CMT.

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-Compulsive Musical Theatre Syndrome.

-# Could it be me?

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# Can it be true? #

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Yes, and yes. Could you put your arms out for me?

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Jazz hands, classic symptoms.

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# Doctor, doctor, tell me, what can you do?

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# Won't you give me a chance? Won't you give me a clue? #

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I'd like you to take these.

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-What's this?

-It's bad reviews of your performance.

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If you read two a day it should clear up pretty quickly.

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Oh, and what does this word mean?

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-Turgid?

-Is that good?

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No.

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-THUNDER

-Hello? Hello?

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Is this the museum?

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I found this flyer on the back of a dog. Anyone?

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-Ah!

-Don't leave, you've only just arrived.

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-You must leave before the moon is full.

-Forgive Mr Faraway.

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He's undergoing his usual transition from a man into a werewolf.

0:10:470:10:52

What a bind! What a bother!

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And you should see the hair I shed on the carpet.

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Half man, half wolf, all fun. What a curse!

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HE HOWLS He's just a brave, little soldier.

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He won't miss a day at...

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BOTH: The museum of imagination!

0:11:050:11:09

-Ah, so I am in the right place.

-THUNDER

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Ah, good grief, my fingers, they've turned into hideous claws.

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-Not sure they have.

-He seems quite unperturbed,

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but I must say you give me the heebie-jeebies.

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-Could we get back to the museum?

-Of imagination!

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Exactly. I feel I must lay my cards on the table.

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I knew it! He's a werewolf hunter, come to end me bloodline!

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Ah! Stay back! He is gentle, even though he is a monster.

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-No, I am a purchaser of antiquities, for an action house in London.

-Ooh!

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I've come to see if there's anything you have that I might purchase.

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Well, indeed, come this way.

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Beneath this cloth, lies the tooth of Cerberus,

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the three-headed dog that guarded the gates to Hades.

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You can't be serious!

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I am serious and you shall see it

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in your imagination-tion-tion!

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It is witty and very amusing,

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but I'm not sure I can buy it for the auction house.

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The hair! Look at the hair, sprouting all over my body.

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I am no longer a man.

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-I wouldn't say you were any hairier than when I came in.

-Oh!

0:12:240:12:29

If only there were more like you,

0:12:290:12:31

the world would be a safer place for us lycanthropes.

0:12:310:12:34

I'm quite pressed for time. Do you have any actual exhibits?

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Yes, indeed. Beneath this cloth, is the Hope Diamond.

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The infamous blue gem

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stolen from sculpted statue of the goddess Sita and said to be cursed.

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The Hope Diamond? That's supposed to be worth, what, £250,000,000?

0:12:500:12:55

That's the chap, and you shall see it

0:12:550:12:58

in your imagination-tion-tion.

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Now, I don't think you're taking this very seriously.

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I come here to purchase some antiques in good faith

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and you have just mocked me. Good day!

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Wait! Please take this complimentary souvenir tea towel,

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from another museum, to not remind you of your visit.

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-That's very generous.

-Here you are.

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-In your imagination!

-Goodbye.

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-Oh!

-Didn't he want to see the money tree?

0:13:240:13:27

I suppose not. Oh, Mr Faraway, your transformation is almost complete.

0:13:290:13:34

Oh!

0:13:350:13:36

Which do you think is my best side?

0:13:360:13:39

HE HOWLS

0:13:390:13:41

-Or this? Yeah?

-HE HOWLS

0:13:410:13:44

If you want my advice,

0:13:440:13:47

never stand underneath a giant pigeon.

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I do not know WHAT he has eaten.

0:13:530:13:55

'This is the Outer Hebridean island of North Barrasay.

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'It's an important day at North Barrasay,

0:14:030:14:05

'as the staff and pupils prepare for their annual open day.'

0:14:050:14:10

So, Valerie, what are you doing to attract new students?

0:14:100:14:14

Nothing, really.

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The authorities insists we have an open day,

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but to be honest, it's a technicality.

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We've not had a new application since we opened.

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-Hey!

-Can I help you?

0:14:230:14:26

We were just passing, saw your sign, thought we'd come round

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and have a look. We're thinking of moving to the island.

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-This is my daughter, Tina.

-Hi, how are you?

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Hey, are you guys making a movie?

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No, a documentary. Just pretend the camera's not there.

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Oh, OK, right, I stand just here?

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Anywhere you like, just act natural.

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-HE MOUTHS

-This is Tina.

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-Hi, how are you?

-Arh! Hi, I'm Ross!

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Roz? Like a girl's name?

0:14:510:14:54

-No, like Ross.

-Rooaz.

0:14:540:14:57

-No, Ross.

-Rooars.

-Ross.

-Raws.

-That's close enough.

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-Have you got a place for my gum?

-Yes, there's a bin there.

0:15:000:15:04

Thank you so much, you guys are totally awesome.

0:15:040:15:08

-So, Tina, you got any questions?

-Yeah, do you have a basketball team?

0:15:080:15:12

No, we're not...

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Yes, we love it, we're all about basketball, do you play?

0:15:130:15:17

No, but I was like, a cheerleader in my old high school.

0:15:170:15:21

Go the bulls, go the bulls, go the bulls, wooh, wooh, wooh!

0:15:210:15:27

-High-five, Dad.

-Awesome!

-Woo! Woo!

-That's amazing.

0:15:270:15:31

As I say, we're not really set up for basketball.

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I will play basketball, miss.

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Go Roz, go Roz, go Roz, wooh!

0:15:360:15:39

Actually it's Ross.

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-But go me!

-Wooh!

0:15:410:15:43

'After a brief tour of the school it seems things are going well.'

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I must say, you know, this is all really impressive Miss Car-penter.

0:15:510:15:56

Do you have any questions, Tina?

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I totally love this place, but I have one little question.

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Where are all the kids?

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-Well, that's the thing about this school.

-The thing is that...

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They're all on a day trip. They've gone on a day trip.

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No, Ross, please!

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There are no other children. We only have one pupil.

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-What, Roz?

-Ross.

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-Rooz.

-Ross!

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-What?

-No, it's pronounced, Ross.

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It's all right. She can call me Roz if she wants.

0:16:280:16:31

Ross is the only pupil.

0:16:310:16:32

But that's kind of weird. Like, no other kids?

0:16:320:16:35

That isolation's got to be bad for a kid's development.

0:16:350:16:39

-He could turn out to be a real freak.

-No offence, Rose.

-It's Ross.

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-Roze?

-Raaws.

-Ross.

-Roors.

0:16:430:16:45

You know what? This isn't going to work out. Come on.

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-Come on, let's get out of here, honey.

-No!

-Oh, that's a shame.

0:16:480:16:52

Bye, Ross.

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Huuuu! She said it right.

0:16:550:16:58

She said my name right, did you hear her?

0:16:580:17:01

Yes, Ross, we heard.

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OK.

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She said Ross!

0:17:050:17:07

OK, Ross, open day's over.

0:17:070:17:09

The Zombie News Network,

0:17:090:17:11

bringing you the latest zombie news

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24 hours a day.

0:17:130:17:15

And now, over to Ryan Pinter, live at the opening night

0:17:150:17:18

of the National Zombie Ballet's new production.

0:17:180:17:21

Yes, Giselle, of course, a classic ballet.

0:17:210:17:24

And in this, the opening act, Hilarion, the village huntsman,

0:17:240:17:28

returns from his early morning chores

0:17:280:17:31

before the home of Giselle, the girl with whom he's in love.

0:17:310:17:34

Villagers pass by on their way to the vineyards,

0:17:340:17:37

where they will harvest the last of the grapes, before the festival.

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APPLAUSE

0:17:420:17:44

And then, the courtship begins.

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Such power, such grace, such elegance.

0:17:480:17:52

SQUELCH

0:17:520:17:54

Oh dear, his arm fell off.

0:17:540:17:56

That doesn't bode well for the second act.

0:17:560:17:59

She's a professional. She moves to dance with Albrecht. Stunning.

0:17:590:18:03

SQUELCH Oh!

0:18:030:18:05

We might have to come back to this.

0:18:050:18:07

BOOING A quick look to the stage manager

0:18:070:18:10

and yes, I think it's all over.

0:18:100:18:13

Right, I'll put the kettle on.

0:18:140:18:17

Oh! Here, did you put that mouse trap down like I asked?

0:18:170:18:21

Yeah, I got one in the dining room last night.

0:18:210:18:24

You're absolutely sure it was a mouse trap?

0:18:240:18:27

Of course! What sort of other traps are there?

0:18:270:18:31

ONE MAN BAND PLAYS

0:18:380:18:40

-Well, packaging's very similar.

-Go and get the right one.

0:18:400:18:44

-What are we going to do with him?

-I don't know.

0:18:440:18:47

-Trap him under a cup or something.

-A cup?!

0:18:470:18:52

All right then. Don't be frightened.

0:18:520:18:55

Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah!

0:18:550:18:58

-TRUMPET BLAST

-Aargh!

0:19:000:19:03

MOUSE LAUGHS

0:19:040:19:06

Ben, have you got your bus money?

0:19:090:19:11

I'm 2p short.

0:19:110:19:13

Try down the back of the sofa.

0:19:130:19:15

Aaaah! THUMP

0:19:230:19:25

# ..Pizza, I'm always in the mood

0:19:250:19:28

# Meaty meaty pizza It's Tony's favourite food. #

0:19:280:19:32

-Can I have one of those?

-Tony take it. It's MY pizza.

0:19:320:19:38

It's all mine. What do you want, you little boy?

0:19:380:19:41

I need one of them 2ps. I'm late for the bus!

0:19:410:19:44

Twopees? What is twopees?

0:19:440:19:47

This is delish pepperoni slices for Tony's pizza.

0:19:470:19:51

Why are you always coming here taking my special things?

0:19:510:19:55

Look, I just need one of those.

0:19:550:19:58

What on Earth are they?

0:19:580:19:59

This is anchovy for my meaty, meaty pizza.

0:19:590:20:04

But they make Tony burp.

0:20:040:20:06

Yes, it's a bit of a problem.

0:20:060:20:08

-They're not anchovies.

-Uurgh. They smell like anchovies.

0:20:080:20:13

Do you want a lick?

0:20:140:20:15

No, I do not. Just give me a 2p.

0:20:150:20:18

This is delish pepperoni slices for my pizza.

0:20:180:20:22

Tony take, it's mine. It is mine.

0:20:220:20:25

Tony take it. Aagh.

0:20:250:20:27

You horrible little boy.

0:20:270:20:29

He's not so fond of you.

0:20:290:20:31

Unless you can answer one of my clever questions.

0:20:310:20:36

-Go on then.

-Hmm.

0:20:360:20:38

What is Tony's favourite food? Oh, good question.

0:20:380:20:43

-Meaty meaty pizza.

-How'd you know that?

0:20:430:20:45

It's an impossible question!

0:20:450:20:47

It is right though, isn't it? Stupid question!

0:20:470:20:51

-Well you...

-I'm just going to take one of those 2ps.

0:20:510:20:54

That is mine, mine, idiot.

0:20:540:20:56

Well, that makes you an idiot.

0:20:560:20:58

Oh, so confused!

0:20:580:21:00

Ben, did you find the 2p?

0:21:020:21:05

Yeah, I found it.

0:21:050:21:07

-Anchovies.

-BURP

0:21:070:21:10

Pardon me.

0:21:100:21:12

'Ladies and gentlemen, if you require refreshments

0:21:120:21:15

'the trolley will pass through the plane.'

0:21:150:21:17

Any drinks or snacks? Any drinks or snacks?

0:21:170:21:20

-Please keep the aisle clear.

-Snacks or drinks?

-Drinks or snacks?

0:21:200:21:24

Excuse me? Excuse me? I'd like some cake.

0:21:240:21:27

-What did she say?

-She wants some of our cake.

-Typical!

0:21:270:21:30

-Wait, are there any nuts in it? I'm allergic.

-Well...

0:21:300:21:34

let's have a look, shall we?

0:21:340:21:36

I don't know. What do you think, Colin?

0:21:360:21:40

I think that might have nuts.

0:21:400:21:43

OK, I'll just have a tuna sandwich.

0:21:430:21:45

OK. Oh, we better just check that hasn't got any nuts as well.

0:21:450:21:49

It does say it's dolphin friendly, but it doesn't mention nuts.

0:21:490:21:54

-So...

-Good idea.

0:21:540:21:55

Getting a hint of peanut.

0:21:570:21:59

Mmm. Mmm mmm mmmmm.

0:21:590:22:01

-Fine, I'll have a packet of crisps, then.

-Right you are.

0:22:010:22:05

I'm sure they don't have nuts in.

0:22:050:22:08

Better to be safe than sorry. Don't you think?

0:22:080:22:11

Absolutely. Don't want you having a nasty allergic reaction, do we?

0:22:110:22:16

What do you think? Nuts?

0:22:200:22:22

I don't really care.

0:22:220:22:24

I just want something to eat. What's left?

0:22:240:22:26

-Well, we are running a bit low on supplies.

-Oh, what a surprise(!)

0:22:260:22:31

Oh, no, you're in luck. Here we go, the very last thing on the trolley.

0:22:310:22:35

A packet of honey roasted peanuts!

0:22:350:22:38

You're welcome!

0:22:380:22:40

No manners, some people.

0:22:400:22:43

STOMACH GURGLES What's the matter?

0:22:430:22:45

Oh, dear. That combination of cheese and onion with smoky bacon,

0:22:450:22:50

that is a recipe for disaster.

0:22:500:22:52

Oh, no, Colin. Evacuate the toilets, we're coming through.

0:22:520:22:56

Hop on, Colin, we'll clean you out.

0:22:560:22:58

I'd shut that book, Madam, I might go.

0:22:580:23:00

That's it. Just breath, Colin, we'll get you there.

0:23:000:23:04

-It's no good, Malcolm.

-Keep it in.

-No, it's going to go.

0:23:040:23:07

RETCHING Oh, all over the cheese straws.

0:23:070:23:11

Hello! I'm here to break the world record for the world's largest feet!

0:23:120:23:19

I really don't have time. Considering you come in here daily,

0:23:190:23:22

do you not think I'd have noticed if you had an enormous pair of...

0:23:220:23:27

..feet. Cynthia, get the record for the world's largest feet.

0:23:280:23:33

Thank you.

0:23:330:23:35

PHONE RINGS Yes? Thank you.

0:23:350:23:38

The world's largest feet belong to American Robert Wadlow,

0:23:380:23:41

and they were an extraordinary size 48.

0:23:410:23:44

Easy! Measure that.

0:23:440:23:47

You know, a bit of me feels sad

0:23:470:23:49

I might be about to win a world record,

0:23:490:23:51

because my aim will be achieved. I won't come here any more.

0:23:510:23:55

We've become firm friends.

0:23:550:23:56

Er, no, we really haven't.

0:23:560:23:59

Well, your feet are an extraordinary size 52!

0:23:590:24:03

Yes!

0:24:030:24:04

But before I can award you the world record,

0:24:040:24:07

please take your shoes off so I can measure your actual feet.

0:24:070:24:10

What? No, you don't need to do that.

0:24:100:24:13

-I need to measure your foot.

-My foot's as big as my shoe.

0:24:130:24:16

-But I need to measure them.

-You measured the shoe. They're fine.

0:24:160:24:19

I need to measure the foot.

0:24:190:24:21

It's me, Mark! You know me, we don't need to do this.

0:24:210:24:25

You, me. There's a bond of trust.

0:24:250:24:27

There's no trust whatsoever. I must measure your foot.

0:24:270:24:30

I can't undo my shoe. The laces have glued together.

0:24:300:24:33

Well, I'm afraid...

0:24:330:24:35

I've got jam socks, it's all sticky, they won't come out.

0:24:350:24:38

-Feet.

-Oh! You win.

0:24:380:24:41

There you go.

0:24:470:24:49

Hold on, I'll adjust this a bit, they're a bit cold.

0:24:490:24:52

There we are. Come on.

0:24:520:24:54

-That's a size 9.

-9 and a bit?

-No.

-What's the record?

0:24:540:24:57

-48.

-Oh! So close!

0:24:570:25:00

These cost loads. Total waste of money.

0:25:040:25:07

MUSIC: The Holly And The Ivy

0:25:090:25:14

SHE SNORES

0:25:140:25:16

Thanks again, Pete, for letting me stay for Christmas.

0:25:230:25:26

Think nothing of it! More the merrier.

0:25:260:25:28

With everyone being away at mine

0:25:280:25:31

it would have been a bit miserable.

0:25:310:25:33

Don't thank me. You're my flatmate, it's your house too.

0:25:330:25:37

Anyway, Christmas is for sharing.

0:25:370:25:41

It is. Merry Christmas, Pete.

0:25:410:25:44

Merry Christmas, Clive.

0:25:440:25:46

What's that? A last minute present?

0:25:460:25:48

Yeah, for Granny. I've been baking her something special.

0:25:480:25:52

Baking?

0:25:520:25:53

Baking, baking.

0:25:530:25:55

The recipe for the custard pie that I use is Granny's

0:25:550:25:58

and she hasn't had a custard pie for, I don't know, ages.

0:25:580:26:03

So, I spent Christmas Eve baking her her very own, special custard pie.

0:26:030:26:12

Have you, indeed.

0:26:120:26:13

I can't wait to see her face when she opens her presents.

0:26:130:26:19

Yeah, magical.

0:26:200:26:22

Oh, forgot to put the mince pies out for Father Christmas.

0:26:220:26:26

-A carrot for Rudolph!

-Like I'd forget!

0:26:260:26:28

CIRCUS MUSIC

0:26:330:26:36

CROWD CHEERS

0:26:380:26:40

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS MONKEY SCREECHES

0:26:400:26:43

SPLAT

0:26:450:26:48

I am so, so, sorry.

0:26:540:26:56

G-G-Granny!

0:26:580:27:00

HORN HONKS Does that help?

0:27:010:27:04

Jasper. Jasper!

0:27:070:27:11

Jasper. You haven't seen my dog, have you?

0:27:120:27:15

I let him off for one minute and he disappeared. Jasper!

0:27:150:27:19

-What does he look like?

-He's quite big. He's white with black spots.

0:27:190:27:23

Is that him over there?

0:27:230:27:24

You've never seen a postman run so fast. He was all, "Aaah!".

0:27:240:27:29

I didn't even have to bite him, it was brilliant.

0:27:290:27:32

He was really scared. Oh, no!

0:27:320:27:34

Jasper, you naughty boy, I've been worried about you.

0:27:340:27:38

Oh, I was going to go on the seesaw.

0:27:380:27:40

What did you say?

0:27:400:27:42

Er, woof? Definitely woof.

0:27:420:27:44

I made it big.

0:27:480:27:50

Tony take it, is mine.

0:27:500:27:52

I'll get you, Philippe le Vavasur.

0:27:520:27:55

Witch! She's a witch.

0:27:550:27:57

Maybe my bees can help.

0:27:570:27:59

-£1,000.

-£1,000!

0:27:590:28:01

In your imagination-tion.

0:28:010:28:03

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:030:28:06

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