Episode 15 Splatalot

It's Splat time and Dom's not here, so I'd better welcome you

to a Splatalot Special, where we invite five young warriors

and five intrepid teachers to take on the Defenders,

as they compete to capture the much treasured Splatalot crown!

What are you going to teach? How to splat?

Have the Defenders done their homework?

Or will the attackers teach them a valuable lesson?

They all face a tough exam, but whoever is top of the class

will rule this messy kingdom!

By the power of science!

-Drop and give me 20!

-See you in detention!

So, who will be tumble, who will tilt, who will teeter

and where is Dom to help me say...

Splat!

Hello, I'm Dick, he's, uh, late, and this is a special edition

of Splatalot, the teachers versus students splatdown!

Sorry I'm late, the dog ate my phone,

and I had to take him to the vet, and there was a tiger in the vet

who ate my dog, and then I had to get a new phone,

which made me late to get my doctor's note for PE and...

Stop! You know there are no excuses on a Splat day.

-See me after the tournament.

-But...!

Enough! Now recite for me the three rounds of Splatalot.

The Moat Challenge, where only the fastest three teachers

and fastest three students will survive.

Ditch The Dungeon, which will reduce the number

down to two teachers, and two students.

And Capture The Crown,

where one attacker will claim the Splatalot crown, sir.

Good. Now, for more advanced students,

here's the moat challenge in greater detail.

The attackers begin with a trip to the moat, courtesy of the splatapult.

Then, it's up the slippery slope, and across the rolling mace,

but on guard is the splacken!

If they survive that, they head down the impossible incline,

and then tread carefully over the beastly battleaxes.

The bridge of disaster follows, and finally the wavering warhead

stands between them and the finish line.

Now it's time to meet the school bullies.

The rotten apples, the under-achievers,

the slackers, the...

Wood! What have I told you about name calling!

He's right, though, the Defenders are all those things and more.

In round one, it's Faetal, who never fails at being feisty.

Madeva, who never fails at being disruptive.

And finally, Skabb, who never fails, if you know what's good for you.

Skabb rules!

All the ladies in the castle say yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! I mean no, no, no, no, no!

Time to start part one of this tricky test.

Madeva's on the aqualiser, Faetal's on splatzuka, and Skabb's...

-Atchoo!

-Bless you, Skabb!

Hey, I can get you a doctor's note, if you want to skip a lesson!

Right, that's double detention with Miss Melissa.

-What?!

-See you in detention!

See, she's already looking forward to it.

Now she's looking forward into the moat. Wattle bottle!

She teaches drama, and I have to say,

that was a pretty dramatic start to today's tournament.

Now, what have the Defenders got in store for her?

Miss Melissa? Can I be in the school play?

Not yet!

So, no role for Faetal, but plenty of rolling for Miss Melissa.

-Pitter patter poo!

-Miss Melissa, look at my excited face!

That's not going to get you in the play, Faetal.

-Oh-oh!

-Heads!

Splacken!

Well, the splacken often takes centre stage, and once again

it steals the show, sending the drama teacher into the frothy tutu.

She's back up, though, and survives the incline.

I have a monologue for you.

If we attackers have offended, take but this and all is mended,

and thus this weak and idle theme, no more yielding, but a dream!

Well, Faetal, take note. That's how you audition for the school play!

You love me, you really love me!

Silly showstopper!

Well, I don't know if that was a response to Skabb's acting

or just a plain and simple splat.

Probably a bit of both. But she keeps getting back up.

Miss Melissa, you know splat improvisation?

I know splats!

She certainly does know splats! Cranky curtain call!

Very good improv!

Brava!

Encore, Miss Melissa!

That might be a tad optimistic, Skabb,

because her performance ends with a slow time of 9:27.

-Here's Shaishav.

-Winning!

One step at a time!

Well, here he is, stepping onto the axes. So far, so good.

Skabb springs into action with some goo grenades.

But he's just about weathering the storm.

He's starting to wobble. Can he hold on?

Nearly there. Bulging baboon!

Ha, ha, ha!

Well, Skabb and the battleaxes ganged up on Shaishav there.

He did brilliantly at first to hold on, but a splat was inevitable.

-Here he is at the bridge of disaster.

-Hah!

He yells at the bridge!

Madeva yells at Shaishav!

And we yell... Splacken!

He just didn't see it coming!

That's why you has to rush out there cos the splacken's going to get you.

Well, it certainly just got Shaishav.

But with 4:16,

he'll stand a very good chance of qualifying for the next round.

By the power of science!

By the power of splatting!

Here's our next teacher, Mr Chris. Drinky wonk!

As we're talking science, I think

we should give gravity some credit here.

It would be impossible to splat without it.

Oh, look, he's lost his hair!

Mr Chris, I don't know about you,

but I'm getting a distinct whiff of nerd.

I consider myself a regular Einstein, and I'm proud of it!

Well, you don't have to be a regular Einstein to know what's coming next.

-Wiggy flute!

-Yes, Splat equals Mr C squared!

That's the most physical demonstration of a physics equation

I've ever seen!

This equation's not so easy, though. Will 6:19 equal round two?

Early days yet. Here's our next student, Mikayla.

The party can start now!

Party? She needs to pass the test first.

Don't worry, she's left an apple for each of the Defenders.

I don't think she can get round them that easily!

She survives the water blast, but will the axes be too much for her?

Steady, steady. Octopocket!

Should have left them an apple too!

Onto the bridge now. Mikayla looks a little uncomfortable.

-Not cool!

-Nothing cool about that floppy splat either.

Mikayla, you're a party pooper!

Nevertheless, our party girl completes the course in 6:54.

Don't forget your Goo'dy bag, Mikayla.

Marry me, Gildar!

Oh, dear!

Doesn't she know that Gildar's no longer a part of Splatalot?

-Why did he leave?

-Well, he just stopped defending.

He was so in love with himself,

he just kept staring at his reflection in the moat.

Ah, right. Back to Ryleigh!

Marry me, Gildar!

Here she is on the slippery slope.

Ryleigh, so you love Gildar?

-Yeah.

-I have some bad news for you, Ryleigh.

He is already in love with somebody else.

-Himself.

-She's right about that!

Now, is Ryleigh in love with the axes? Ohhh, bang.

Widget.

Ryleigh is head over heals for Gildar. Ha, ha, ha!

To be honest, I don't think Gildar was on Ryleigh's mind at all there.

She was too busy falling off an axe, rebounding off the bridge

and splatting in the moat.

And she completes the course in a pretty reasonable 6:11.

Well, we're pretty unreasonable, so here's some goo, Ryleigh.

Seems like a good time to head for the leaderboard.

At the halfway stage, Shaishav is leading for the students,

and Mr Chris is on top for the teachers.

Remember, the fastest three students

and the fastest three teachers go through to round two,

so in effect, we've got two mini tournaments running in parallel.

What do you think of it so far?

Well, it's funny. The Defenders are treating the teachers

with respect, and it's almost like the attackers are fellow students

that they don't have to be nice to.

So it's almost as if the Defenders have gone back to school?

Can you imagine that? Lessons would be impossible,

and break times would be almost as messy as this course!

Sounds fantastic!

So, at the halfway stage in the moat challenge,

we have two more students and three more teachers to come.

So that means Shaishav, leading the students, is already through.

But Miss Melissa and Mr Chris aren't yet safe,

as the next three teachers could all be faster.

So you're saying I might not see Miss Melissa in detention after all?

Don't worry, if she leaves the tournament, I'll do it myself.

Remember, it was double detention. Now it's triple for being cheeky.

What?! Let's go to the leaderboard before I get detention for ever!

Shaishav leads the students with 4:16,

followed by Ryleigh and Mikayla.

And Mr Chris is less comfortably on top in the teachers' challenge

with 6:19, ahead of Miss Melissa.

The Defenders are back in position,

so it's time to welcome our third teacher, Mr Dain.

Drop and give me 20!

OK.

1,2,3,4,5... 18,19,20!

That's incredible, that's the fastest 20 push-ups I've ever seen!

I even had time to put the kettle on.

Back to Mr Dain, who's just cleared the mace roll.

-Hey, Mr Dain, want to play dodgeball?

-Splacken!

You're not paying attention. Drop and give me 20.

Well, the Splacken gives Mr Dain a taste of his own medicine.

And he gives Skabb his 20 splats.

That's an awful lot of splackening. Are you sure?

-Maybe we should stop now...

-Oh! I was enjoying that!

Only joking. There we go!

Mr Dain, you're definitely not a history teacher!

No, Faetal, he isn't, and he won't be history with that fabulous time!

-Mr Dain, I'm here with you.

-What's Madeva up to?

She's just distracting Mr Dain from the goo drop. Nice work!

I'm ready for this course but it better not mess up my hair.

Good luck with that, Olivia!

Well, it's dry, it's dry, it's dry, it's wet!

Olivia, the wet look is really last season.

So are your put-downs, Faetal.

Olivia, I'm sorry, did I mess up your hair?

Just a little!

Slime will help it. It's like a conditioner.

I think Olivia needs to rinse all that off.

And she does!

Olivia, you're not supposed to wash it out that quick.

It's not going to work.

Well, that time's not going to work either,

as Olivia waves goodbye to the competition.

But let's give her some more conditioner before she goes.

-Here's Selwyn.

-Defenders, get ready to get schooled!

What? How did he manage that time? He must have cheated!

Well, let's check his results, and find out.

OK, here he is on the mace roll, yes, that's good, he's over.

Pass.

On to the battleaxes. Yes, he's cleared them too, another pass.

Let's move onto the bridge.

He avoids the splacken, and crosses effortlessly.

He passes again!

And finally, the wavering warhead.

Yes, nice and easy, yet another pass.

So, with a faultless round, Selwyn completes the course in 11:57.

-Wait a minute, put it back to how it was!

-All right.

That's quadruple detention!

-Of course it is!

-Here's our next attacker.

-Shhhh!

-Don't you shush me, young man!

But our next attacker's a librarian!

-See!

-Here comes Hulk!

Here comes Hulk?

Apparently, you wouldn't like Miss Jessie when she's angry!

Shepton Mallet!

Oh, Miss Jessie!

-Madeva?

-Yes.

-When you go to the library, are you quiet,

or do you always talk like that?

What do you mean? I'm quiet now, Skabb!

I'm whispering!

Oh, you guys are awful.

So, whilst the Defenders have been quietly chatting,

Miss Jessie has been getting on with the course.

But she doesn't finish without a trip into the blobby porridge.

The librarian turns aquarian.

And with that time of 6:07, Miss Jessie has booked

her place in round two. Booked, get it?

Yes, I get it, and so does Miss Jessie.

Detentions for everyone.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

In case you didn't catch that, Mr Charles teaches French.

-Hinana!

-Is that French too?

-No, Hinana is Splattish.

Merci beaucoup!

Mr Charles, now at the mace roll. And he's done pretty well.

Monsieur Charles, how old are you? 206!

Regardez, Monsieur Charles. Le Splacken!

Well, we've seen this before, Faetal distracts,

and the Splacken impacts!

But he won't mind,

as that time of 5:55 means he's qualified for the next round.

And to celebrate, he entertains us all with a little dance.

Everyone will be doing this at school tomorrow!

Here's the leaderboard.

Through for the students are Selwyn, Shaishav, and Ryleigh.

And for the teachers, we have Mr Dain, Mr Charles, and Miss Jessie.

Well, that first round was quite an education.

The teachers did brilliantly, and all of them survived the course.

As did the students, who also have the edge

when it comes to faster times.

But round two is a different challenge entirely.

That's right, in Ditch The Dungeon, the teachers and students

are all in it together.

Au revoir, Monsieur!

Yes, the two parallel mini tournaments now become one,

as the three remaining teachers, and three remaining students

finally come face to face.

Only four will survive the next round,

but as it's a special edition, we're going to ensure that two students

and two teachers go through.

I suppose that's fair, otherwise the students wouldn't stand a chance.

That's a bit harsh.

In fact, I predict a student will win.

Rubbish, the teachers have already got the crown in the bag!

OK, if I'm right, you let me off all those detentions.

All right, but if I win,

then your detention is to clean the moat after the tournament.

You're on.

Here's a reminder of the silly students

and terrific teachers who are still in the game.

Selwyn, Shaishav, and Ryleigh.

And Mr Dain, Mr Charles, and Miss Jessie.

-Here is the next challenge and we like to call it...

-Ditch The Dungeon!

The attackers start beneath the castle walls,

where they must escape from the stock market.

Then, once across the slippery splatwalk,

they can start climbing the loathsome ladder.

But that's easier said than done, when the Defenders are on duty

with their slime-fuelled weapons.

Those that survive can claim one of four flags, two for the teachers

and two for the students,

each flag representing a place in the final!

So, that's what all six attackers are up against.

Yes, it's quite a tricky challenge, but is it challenging enough?

I think I know the answer to that one.

Time for some fresh defenders!

He's fresh and feathery.

Oh, you scared me!

-It's Kookaburra!

-Hello!

He's stale and leathery, the always hungry Vane.

And he's fierce and prickly, the blue bully boy, Thorne.

Here's a lesson for you.

Sweet, let me go get my hotdog.

Told you he was always hungry.

The attackers are in the stock market.

Ryleigh, Shaishav and Selwyn are all set,

as are Mr Charles, Miss Jessie, and Mr Dain.

Kook's on the froth-brother, Thorne's at the top,

and Vane's practising the shot put.

And the school bell signals the start of the second round.

The attackers head for the gate and are swiftly through.

Oh! Ryleigh and Shaishav share a slip on the aptly named Splatwalk.

The froth descends, as Miss Jessie takes an early lead.

But that lead doesn't last long, and she takes an early bath.

You know, Mr Dain, I'm a little bit of an athlete myself,

I'm a pro at shot put.

And Mr Dain goes down the drain, courtesy of Mr Vane.

He shot puts another goo grenade.

This time, Shaishav's on the receiving end,

and all that froth helps him slide back into the broth.

Shaishav loses his footing, and on his way down,

he can't avoid giving Selwyn a rather unhelpful nudge.

What are you going to teach, how to splat? Ha, ha!

Chin fuzz! Kook splats Mr Dain, who in turn takes out Ryleigh.

And now it's Thorne's turn to dislodge Miss Jessie.

She tries to hold on, but no, she slides back down again.

Guys, what's the pirate doing on here?

Why are you dressed as a pirate?

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

I can't understand what you're saying.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

-Can we get some subtitles?

-I don't know, can we?

Hang on, try this.

Au revoir, monsieur!

Thank you. And I think we can say goodbye, to the teachers' chances

in this tournament!

Don't be cheeky, you're still on moat-cleaning detention, young man.

Not if a student wins the crown, I'm not!

Well, the final's an awfully long way off yet.

Let's get back to the splats.

Great, there's one already!

Now, how's Mr Dain doing?

Mr Dain, did you remember to stretch?

Well, he takes Vane's advice, which is rarely a good idea.

Yep, he slides down the ladder, and, oh, he collides with Shaishav!

Well, he managed to avoid Ryleigh and Mr Charles,

but Shaishav was a different matter altogether.

But he's soon back up.

Hey, are you ready for the purple plague? Oh!

Here it comes.

Oh, but the plague's stuck in the foam!

Double up! This is chemistry 101 here.

What happens when you mix foam and the purple plague?

Splats! Ha ha!

Well, Kook just adds water to that chemistry experiment,

and finally we get the full effect of the plague in all its glory!

You guys are getting an F on this course.

But it's an A for effort because here they come again!

Selwyn's at the top. But Thorne's in his way.

Kook's spotted Ryleigh too,

and she's sent slipping and sliding all the way back into the bigaboo.

Kook's now after Selwyn,

and the young attacker is also dislodged from the ladder.

Thorne sees off Shaishav, and then unceremoniously shoves Mr Dain!

-Surely that's a detention!

-I got it!

Well, using the pokey pike is one thing,

but after losing it, Thorne gets physical with our PE teacher.

He nearly lost the pike for good, but Kook spotted it.

So did Ryleigh! She gets there before Kook, and grabs the pike!

She hands it to Mr Dain, who discards it,

so Thorne is a weapon down.

-And so he should be!

-Still got his slimy slicer,

and that's enough to send brave young Ryleigh back down.

Shaishav's down too, but Mr Dain is over!

He becomes the first attacker and the first teacher to claim a flag.

Selwyn's right behind him,

and is the first student through to the final!

Oh, Miss Jessie slips just at the wrong moment,

leaving Mr Charles with the perfect opportunity to make it through!

He struggles, but finds his feet,

and becomes the second teacher to reach the final.

Room for one more!

Vane's right, and it looks like it's going to be Shaishav.

He strolls past the Defenders, and becomes our fourth finalist.

So, that's it, round two is complete!

-I failed you!

-So it's the Defenders who get an F.

And this lot get an A star.

Bad luck, Miss Jessie and Ryleigh. You both battled valiantly.

But there's only room for four in that final, and don't they know it!

So, representing the students, we have Selwyn and Shaishav,

and our two triumphant teachers are Mr Dain and Mr Charles.

What a great round, and both teachers finished ahead of the students.

Looks like you're heading for that detention after all!

I've got just as good a chance as you!

Well, just in case, I've got you a little pressie.

Really? You shouldn't have...

No, you really shouldn't have.

You can use it to clean the moat, when you lose!

Yes, just look at all that dirty, milky brew.

The moat's always at its messiest and splattiest in the final!

All right, calm down. Let's see what the Splat Stat Hat thinks.

Shaishav and Mr Charles have identical records.

They both have a second and fourth place to their name.

Selwyn was fastest round the moat challenge,

but came third in Ditch the Dungeon.

That leaves Mr Dain, who came second in round one,

but won round two, making him the favourite.

Great, so the Splat Stat Hat says a teacher will win!

It's been wrong before!

Here's a reminder of the teachers

and students who still have it all to play for.

We have students, Selwyn and Shaishav,

and teachers, Mr Dain, and Mr Charles.

Here's what the final has in store for them.

For starters, they've got all six defenders to deal with.

I think it's fair to say they won't want to lose to a teacher

or a student.

And there's the course itself to contend with!

The attackers start by taking a trip to the Dire Mire,

where they'll find the barrier of all barriers,

and soon after that, the Terrifying Tees.

They then make their way onto the ScaryGoRound,

which transports them to the annihilating arm.

Once over that, they have to leap onto the gruesome twosome.

The ever so clever Clobbering Cannons are next,

then it's a leap onto the Royal Ramps, followed by a climb up

the rock wall, where the much treasured Crown awaits.

That is quite a PE lesson!

Down on the course, Vane's on the aqualiser, Madeva and Faetal

are on splatzukas, Thorne's vaporising, and Skabb and Thorne.

This many episodes times this many attackers

equals how many splats I have done?

Minus 4,000?!

Minus 4,000. That's not right.

It's a calculated guess, but I'd say Skabb's not happy!

Here are the attackers.

Mr Charles is in green, Selwyn's in yellow and green,

Mr Dain's in yellow, and Shaishav's in orange.

Shaishav is first in the mire and first to the barrier.

They all struggle to get a grip,

but Shaishav is over and maintains his early lead.

Mr Dain is next, with a cheeky little pirouette.

Now what kind of form is Madeva in?

Oh! Splatty form!

Now, what's Mr Dain up to? Oh! What a leap!

Then he's water blasted, and finally, he splats!

Shaishav tries the tees now. Festooner!

And now Selwyn has a go. Double Festooner!

Poor Selwyn gets a soaking, and then a splatting.

Let's see that again. A soaking and a splatting, marvellous stuff!

Hey, Mr Dain, why don't you take another lap?

Now, move out!

Mr Dain tries the Tees a second time,

and wisely decides not to leap.

The water blast gets him again, but this time, he hangs on.

-Yes, he recovers and makes it over!

-So does Shaishav.

Here's Selwyn's second attempt,

but no, he's back down in the uncle foofoo.

Mr Dain makes it onto the ScaryGoRound.

Shaishav tries to keep up, but hopple jeff!

Onto the annihilating arm.

You taking notes, Faetal?

Yeah, I'm taking notes on Mr Dain on how to... how to splat!

Is that a huge pencil, or is Faetal tiny?

Back to the course, and Mr Dain is down.

So, let's check Faetal's notes.

One, hold on to the annihilating arm. Yes, he did that.

Two, splat. Yes, he did that as well.

Good notes, Faetal.

Back to Mr Charles at the terrifying Tees.

He's an easy target for Madeva at the moment,

so needs to get a move on.

There he goes, jam, jam kisser!

Shaishav tries the ScaryGoRound again, and this time he makes it!

Next stop, the annihilating arm. He grabs onto it.

So far, so good, but now he's left hanging.

Lift it, lift it up!

Oh, he's in real trouble now. Gorgonzola bud!

Let's check Faetal's notes for Shaishav.

Well, an additional point from her. Do a backflip.

Well done, Faetal, very observant.

Now, how about a little bit of defending?

Back to the Tees.

Mr Charles is catching his breath, but Selwyn gets a second wind,

and storms his way over!

Don't hurt me, Mr Dain. I'm sorry!

Wow, that's a first, Kook splats Mr Dain, and then apologises!

Donkey swing!

Another big leap from Mr Dain there, and an even bigger splat to follow!

Now, can Shaishav do any better?

He leaps, but it's the same splatty result.

Here's a lesson in slime for you, Mr Dain.

Don't make him angry, Thorne!

Arghh, arghh, arghh!! It's a giant!

You can't see it on TV, but Mr Dain's huge.

Has he gone?

Well, I don't think I've ever seen the Defenders so scared.

Hey, you touched the side.

What's this? One of Skabb's made-up rules?

Well, it's worked. He's persuaded Mr Dain to jump in the moat!

Selwyn lands on the twosome. He's doing well now!

But Shaishav's still ahead of him.

Skabb slimes, then the cannons clobber!

Yes, Skabb's gone for the personal touch, but there's nothing personal

about the cannons, who just don't like attackers anywhere near them!

But Selwyn's managed it.

He makes it clobber free onto the royal ramps!

Vane spots the danger, and Skabb steps it up with the slime.

Shaishav joins Selwyn, who's about to leap for the rock wall.

Madeva splats him, and that might have been enough to put him off.

-Huh!

-Now it's Shaishav's turn.

He leaps, but no, he can't hold on either!

-Mr Dain has finally made it onto the ramps.

-Oh, Mr Dain!

He's being pelted with slime from every angle,

and now he has the two students for company!

This is turning into a fantastic final!

What a shame Mr Charles couldn't make it.

He's still trying, but can't get past the Tees.

Splat alors!

Time for Mr Dain to make his move and he makes it!

Mr Dain, stop what you're doing!

Kook won't put him off now, but Selwyn might.

And here comes Shaishav. There goes Shaishav!

And it looks like Dom's going to be in detention.

Mr Dain climbs over and claims his crown.

He is the new King of Splatalot!

That's really tough on Selwyn.

But I think the right man won, especially as he was a teacher!

All right!

So, Mr Dain, bully all the other kids and beat them.

-Now, now!

-Got it!

Woo! Yeah!

Well done, King Mr Dain!

King Mr Dain? That sounds ridiculous!

Don't disrespect the new King.

You're in enough detentions as it is!

The important thing is, Splatalot has a brave new ruler,

regardless of what we call him.

Who wants to be king anyway?

Winning Splat Of The Day is much cooler!

See, Selwyn had the right approach.

He wasn't in it for the stupid crown, he just went

looking for that water blast, and said, "Splat, do your worst!"

Now, that's what I'm talking about!

I do know you're talking yourself into more bother!

Now apologise to King Mr Dain!

Sorry, King Mr Dain.

Here's his journey to the crown.

Drop and give me 20!

King Mr Dain splatted heavily throughout the tournament,

putting his heart and soul into every round.

He showed us how to keep fighting for our goals,

and taught us never to lose sight of our dreams.

-Ah.

-Shut it!

-Yeah!

So, let's hear from our new ruler, King Mr Dain!

My first act as King of Splatalot

is to throw one of you into the moat.

I wish it could be all of you, but today, it'll be you, Faetal!

-Oh, now, I didn't see that coming!

-Take note, Faetal!

That's what you get if you mess with the new ruler.

Well, I, for one, feel sorry for her.

Is there no such thing as free speech in this kingdom?

You're only saying that because you're about to clean the moat!

Can I not at least wait until Faetal's jumped in?

All right. We'll see you soon, but for now,

here is the Splatapult ceremony.

-So, until next time...

-(BOTH) Keep splatting.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd