Episode 14 Splatalot

-It's Splat time!

-Welcome to a Splatalot Special,

where we invite five pairs of brave young warrior twins

to go head to head with those despicable Defenders,

as they compete to capture much-prized Splatalot crown.

I'm seeing double!

Can the Defenders succeed in keeping the castle safe?

Or will the attackers overcome every hurdle,

and find a true champion to rule this fine and messy kingdom?

So which twins will tumble?

Which twins will tilt?

Which twins will teeter?

And which twins will go... Splat!

Hello, we're Dick, they're Dom.

And this is the Splatalot Twins Splatdown.

Right, clear off you two.

As it's a Splatalot twin special,

the kingdom thought it would be fun to give us a lookalike each,

but personally I don't see the resemblance.

They don't even sound like us.

But today the kingdom will be playing host to five genuine

pairs of twins, all of whom dream of becoming the new ruler.

Those twins will be facing three very different,

but equally demanding challenges.

Round one is The Moat Challenge,

where only the fastest three pairs will survive.

Round two is Ditch The Dungeon, where we lose another pair.

That leaves the final, Capture The Crown,

where one pair will emerge victorious.

Hang on, but there's only one crown.

Isn't it every twin for themselves in the final?

No. Throughout the whole tournament, both twins have to work together

and qualify together, and the final's no different.

So, at the end of today, Splatalot will have two rulers.

Interesting, but one step at a time.

Let's check out round one in more detail.

The twins start by being hurled, one at a time, out of the splatapult.

Then it's up the slippery slope, across the rolling mace,

and down the impossible incline, but beware the dreaded splacken!

If they survive that, the battle axes are next,

followed by a stroll across the bridge of disaster.

And finally the wavering warhead

leads both of them to the finish line.

So those are the obstacles standing in the way of our twin

attackers, and potential glory.

-But they're not the only obstacles.

-Far from it.

Our young hopefuls also have to contend with this lot -

the Defenders!

There are six of them altogether, but the trio defending the moat will be:

Madeva!

Followed by the brash and overbearing barbarian Skabb.

And finally we have the mean and moody Thorne.

-I'm going to call my twin.

-I'm going to call my twin.

Hey, fellas, where you at?

Has everybody got a twin here?!

Down on the course, Madeva's on splatzuka,

Skabb's above the axes, and to keep him happy...

Here's Thorny!

Let's meet the twins!

-BOTH:

-I love sugar!

Ah, that's sweet. Steph goes first, and yakisoba!

She's soon onto the slippery slope.

Oops! But now here comes her sister Jillian. Double yakisoba!

Wow, I see double! Ha-ha, yeah!

Stephanie, Jillian, Steph, Jillian?

Stephanie.

How can you tell which is which?

Good point, Skabb. How can we tell them apart?

Well, Stephanie's splatting in the blue,

-and, er, so is Jillian...

-Great.

They identical splatters, child!

Well, in her own mangled way, Madeva's right.

They dress alike, and splat alike.

Jillian's now at the impossible incline.

Down she goes and Prince Mishkin!

Will Steph do the same?

-DICK AND DOM:

-Splacken!

It was quite a way to find out,

but we can now confirm that twins don't do everything

the same way after all.

Stephanie leads the way over the battle axes, and she's over.

Can Jillian do the same? No. Lobster lover!

Pretty stylish, but at the end of the day it's still a splat.

All work and no splats make Thorne a dull boy.

Don't blame the splats, Thorne, you're always dull.

Jillian tries the bridge, and trotty leg panic!

Steph has a go now, and it's a double trotty leg panic!

So they're nearly at the finish line.

Jillian tries the warhead first.

She hangs on, despite Thorne's aqualiser, and scrambles across!

Steph's turn now.

It's a similar start, but she slips and then splats.

That won't help their time.

Nothing can help their time. 18:41 - well into double figures!

-BOTH:

-I'm the better looking twin!

Oh, dear, here's more double trouble. Now, I think this is Sarah.

I call this one purple twin,

and I call the other one purpler twin.

Thanks, Skabb! Let's take one twin at a time. Here's Sarah again.

Chochee wom wom!

And she comes a cropper on our own identical twins!

You know it's hard to tell the axes apart, too!

The one on the left's called Betty.

Sarah takes on the bridge, but it's wet underfoot.

Thanks mainly to our slippery friend, Thorne. Her grip is gone.

Let's see what sister Steph is up to. Chamama wobbles!

Well, she steps past Betty, but can't make it past Bertha.

-What?

-Betty and Bertha, the battle axes.

Ah! Steph and Sarah both finish, but it's another slow round.

It seems if you double the attackers, you double the time too.

-BOTH:

-Wanna be in our wolf pack?

Let's meet Rane and Jared.

Rane first. Ooh, beg pardon!

Rane, Rane, go away, splat again another day!

I'm sure Rane's never heard that one before, Madeva!

Here's Jared. Double ooh, beg pardon!

-Rane waits for his brother.

-Double your pleasure, double your fun!

Madeva singles out Rane.

Good job she hasn't got a double-barrelled splatzuka!

Rane tries the mace, but he's down!

I think he was slightly distracted by the splacken.

-Let me ask you. How do I look?

-Beautiful!

Ah! Let them in, let them in. Let them get the crown.

Skabb gives Jared a free pass, but the mace roll has other plans!

And he splats in exactly the same place as his twin brother.

Here's Rane looking focussed on the incline. Look out...

-DICK AND DOM:

-Splacken!

-He never saw it coming.

Yes, but why didn't Jared warn him? Isn't that what brothers are for?

No, I think most brothers would have done the same thing.

Well, here he is on the incline and... Chipping Sodbury!

Now, you can just see Rane looking on as Jared splats.

So in terms of brotherly love, I think that evens it up.

Thorne is a one man wolfpack.

I am the alpha, I am the omega, and I am the Thorne!

Wow! I think Thorne just shouted Rane into the moat.

Well, it was some outburst,

along with a heavy shower from the aqualiser.

I suppose a Rane-drop was inevitable!

Jared first on the wavering warhead.

He's over but then slides into the mang.

It was a good start, then he lost his grip, and the only way was down.

But that time will lift them back up, as it's the fastest so far.

You'll be sorry when my twin brother Fabb gets here!

Oh, I forgot he said he had a twin.

If they're anything like Skabb, they won't be forgettable!

Let's take a look at the leaderboard.

Rane and Jared are in first place, followed by Steph and Sarah,

then Steph and Jillian.

So three pairs of twin attackers

have attempted this ever so tricky course.

Which means we have two pairs left.

Yes, the splat one, splat one free special offer is still available,

so hurry down to Splatalot!

So at the halfway stage in the moat challenge, we can safely say that...

Oi! What are you two up to?

Honestly, you'd have thought the body double agency

could have found someone slimmer for me!

And mine's tiny. I don't know what they were thinking.

Anyway, back to the tournament.

As my very ugly double was saying, at the halfway stage,

we can say for certain that our current leaders

are through to the next round.

Yes, three pairs of twins qualify,

so with only two more pairs to come,

our first half leaders are automatically safe.

So let's check the leaderboard again to confirm who that is.

It's Rane and Jared!

They're safe, but our two pairs of twin sisters are not -

-Steph and Jillian in particular.

-This might sound odd,

but I'm quite looking forward to meeting the Defenders' twins later.

Back now to the twins who really matter.

-BOTH:

-We are double trouble!

Here's Marwa, who's five minutes older than her sister Elham.

Five minutes can make all the difference,

especially when you're against the clock.

She stumbles on the slope, but soon recovers.

-Hey, girl!

-Hey!

You're going to be sorry when my twin brother Scorn gets here!

Scorn? What a lovely name!

Back to Elham in the splatapult.

Her technique is identical to Marwa's.

-So which one is which?

-That's Marwa, on the left.

-You sure?

-No, wait a minute, Elham's on the left. No...

It doesn't matter, they're both great.

Oh, dear, now I'm confused. Who's that?

-Splacken.

-Who?

-Splacken!

-Oh, I see!

Yes, whichever twin she may be,

she's now on first name terms with the splacken!

Hmm, I'm not 100% sure that's a good thing.

She was like, "I made it!" And then she was like, "Boom!"

And then I was like, "Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Brilliant commentary, Skabb. Oh, ram jam big jobs!

Now, I'm pretty sure that was Elham.

-How sure exactly?

-Well, I am exactly 50% sure.

That's all right then.

For a minute there, I thought you were just guessing.

Oh, dear, this doesn't look good. Look out Elham, it's...

-DICK AND DOM:

-The splacken!

OK, do you think you can tell them apart this time?

OK, I would say that on the left we have Marwa,

and on the right we've got Elham.

Wrong, Elham's on the left, and Marwa's on the right.

-How do you know?

-I asked one of them.

-Which one?

-No idea.

At the axes now. Twockles!

Well, before either of them could set foot on the axe,

the waterblast did what the waterblast does best.

I'm still not sure who just got splatted, though.

Well, whoever it was, here's the other one.

Steady, steady.

Oh, yes, that's much better.

Hang on, what are the Defenders up to?

They need to wake up because Marwa and Elham are both over the axes.

Oh, but they're slipping and... blubber houses!

Sometimes this course does the Defenders' work for them.

But on this occasion our double trouble twins

contributed to their own downfall.

Yes, two heads aren't always better than one.

Are you defending? Then why did you throw your sister in the moat?

We may never know, because Marwa and Elham

are too busy celebrating the fastest time today!

-BOTH:

-Wonder Twin Power - activate!

Here's our final pair of twins - Aunna and James.

Watch this, want to see a magic trick?

I'm going to make James fall in. Three, two, one. Here we go.

-Amazing!

-Simple magic tricks.

Dom, tell me how he did that.

I couldn't possibly reveal such a secret.

-The magicians' code?

-No, just being mean.

OK, let's see if sister Aunna can do any better.

No, bing bobby whop-whops!

No trickery from Skabb this time,

just a plain and simple splat in the moat,

which is still magical in its own sweet way.

-Oh no, look what's coming!

-James has seen it, but can do nothing about...

The splacken!

That was the splat of the day right there, Skabb!

I hate to agree, but she might be right.

It certainly has all the ingredients.

The splacken nudges James, then Aunna trips him

-and sends him cartwheeling into the moat.

-On top of that,

he knew it was coming, but could do nothing about it.

But Aunna didn't have a clue.

Put it all together and you have a fantastic splat.

Aunna takes on the incline. Crumple burger! And the incline wins!

This time she's fully aware of what she's doing -

losing control, and splatting wonderfully.

We're really being treated to some top class splatting today.

Aunna takes on the axes. Trickle box!

To paraphrase a well-known saying, she who hesitates is splatted.

-Stay on your feet. On your feet.

-That's not your feet!

Well, I think James would if he could.

Yes, every splat in the moat costs valuable time.

But the twins finish in 14:05,

and that's good enough to see Aunna and James into the next round!

You're both going to be sorry when my sister gets here.

Really looking forward to that, Medeva.

And looking forward to round two are Marwa and Elham,

Rane and Jared, and Aunna and James.

So round one is complete. We've pared down the pairs to three.

And in the next round, we'll reduce it further to two.

Yes, our twins are splatting for survival,

as they all go head to head, to head to head, to head to head.

So, the tournament is hotting up,

plus we've still got the Defenders' twins to look forward to!

It'll be great to see if we can spot the difference.

What if they're identical?

Don't be so twin-ist.

Identical twins have still got their own personalities.

You've just got to look for the tiny details.

I reckon if I spent even ten seconds with those twin attackers,

I'd be able to tell them apart from each other.

It's as easy as telling you apart from your body double.

Really. See, I told you!

Oh, dear - very disappointing! How long have we been pals?

All the things we've been through together,

and you couldn't even spot the difference!

Back to the tournament,

and a quick reminder of the twins who want to win.

Through to round two are Rane and Jared, Marwa and Elham,

and Aunna and James.

Look, mate, I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry.

Don't apologise to me, I really am the body double.

BOTH: Ah! Gotcha!

Now I'm really confused! Can we get back to the course, please?

Thank you! OK, to Ditch the Dungeon.

They must escape the stockmarket, cross the splatwalk,

then climb the loathsome ladder.

At the top are two flags for two pairs of twins,

So one pair will be going home,

but rest assured all of them will be pelted along the way.

OK, so are you you?

Who else would I be?!

And are the Defenders still the Defenders?

Yes, although remember in round two, we bring in three fresh ones.

-First it's...

-Kookaburra!

He likes to chew the fat with the attackers.

Then it's Vane - he likes to chew on fatty foods.

And finally, Faetal - she likes to chat, but prefers to splat.

-Agility!

-Strength!

And...ow!

Is Vane naturally clumsy, or does he have to work at it?

Down in the stockmarket we have Rane and a sleepy Jared in orange,

Marwa and Elham in red, and James and Aunna in yellow.

Kook's on the pokey pike, Vane's at the top,

and Faetal starts on the slime stick.

And they're off!

Slightly different rules today -

each pair of twins is working as a team, and both of them

have to cross the finish line before claiming the flags.

-I'm seeing double!

-Come on, Faetal, keep up!

You guys have to share everything, right? Share some foam.

But we can't tell them apart!

Guys, spread the mayo evenly, it's going to be a big sandwich -

-we got double the meat here.

-More food for thought from Vane.

Double down. Here we go, two at a time.

Now, who just got splatted?

Don't worry, I've got him!

This foam really isn't helping.

We might as well have six identical twins out there!

Oh, Vane's weapon has come apart, and Marwa, or possibly Elham,

is using it as a sledge!

Way to go, dude, you broke my axe!

I think it was an accident,

but that could really help the attackers later on in this round.

They've got to get up this ladder first.

Stop communicating to each other mentally. I can feel your waves!

It's pretty clear what Vane's thinking too -

he cruelly gives James a nudge, he slides into the red twins,

and they all end up in the plootles.

In fact the replay shows that he just nudges his twin sister too,

so that splat managed to take out the reds and the yellows.

Let me introduce you to my little friends!

Look, Kook's got twins of his own!

No such frills from Vane. Cinnamon mutation!

And Jared heads down the ladder for a nice foamy bath.

Which one of you is the evil one?

-I am!

-Aim for the evil one!

Shame on you, Kook.

If you had a twin YOU'D be the evil one!

And once again Elham and Marwa take a trip to the milky brew.

Isn't it nice how they do absolutely everything together - even splatting!

Oh-oh!

-Faetal, look out behind you!

-SHE SCREAMS

It's the ball of doom!

-Wait a second...

-It's the twin balls of doom!

-There were twins!

-Twin balls of doom!

And it looks like a red twin got run over by both of them!

Kook's up to no good with the pokey pike,

and he dislodges either Rane or Jared.

And guess what - Elham and Marwa are down too!

It all starts with a pathetic poke from Kookaburra.

One of the orange twins grabs the leg of a red twin,

and eventually they take out the yellow twins too.

How colourful!

I've got some beautiful twins up here! Two bouncing baby boys!

Release the twins!

Not more double trouble doom balls!

Yes, but the terrible twins aren't as effective

second time round - the attackers seem to have got the hang of them.

Kook's up to no good again with the pokey pike. He targets Marwa.

-I think it's Elham.

-And they slide into James.

-I think it's Aunna.

-Well, whoever it is in yellow,

isn't exactly head over heels about it.

The attackers close in on Vane.

Remember, all he has to defend with now is a big stick.

But Kook's still prodding from the side.

That leads to an attacker from each team taking a long slippy slide.

I always wanted a sister.

Someone exactly like me, but I thought about it,

and I don't know if the world can handle two Faetals.

Believe me, one Faetal is more than enough.

Oh, here's another superb slip and slide from the orange and red teams.

Yes, they were in synch all the way down,

then branched off either side of the splatwalk. Lovely stuff.

Kook takes aim, and the splat-cam reveals that he's just splatted...

-Oh, I still don't know!

-Faetal's still frothing,

and she sends Rane or Jared back into the swampo.

But the other twin's still up there.

This could get sticky for Vane, but he sticks it out,

and both orange twins are back in the bilge.

We've seen some great defending today.

-Bye, guys!

-What?

-I'm hungry!

You were saying how great the defending was?

Deserting his post for some dessert? That's unforgivable!

And he's paid the price. A red twin is over, followed by an orange twin.

Remember, both team members have to make it to go through.

A yellow twin's there too.

But the first team to finish are the reds -

Marwa and Elham are in the final!

It looks like the orange team will be next.

Yes, well done to Jared and Rane!

So round two is complete.

James and Aunna also made it, but they won't be joining in

on the celebrations - no reward for third place today.

They have the slide of shame to look forward to.

-That's a sort of consolation prize.

-Yes, but at the top of the castle,

our triumphant twins know that the real prize is a step closer.

So, still hoping to Capture the Crown,

we have Marwa and Elham versus Rane and Jared.

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that -

double helpings of splats all round,

especially with the twin balls of doom!

Not exactly the easiest tournament to commentate on.

Twin attackers all covered in foam.

Or mayonnaise, as Vane likes to call it.

I think he'll be in trouble with the other Defenders

after walking out on them.

They won't be putting up with any of that nonsense in the final.

In fact they'll be doubling their efforts,

because the kingdom of Splatalot is about to have twin rulers.

But will they be kings or queens?

Maybe the splat stat hat can help answer our question.

Off you go.

What's the matter?

I don't know. The hat's not telling me what to say. Hang on!

My body double was messing with it.

Right, let's try again.

Jared and Rane have finished second in both challenges so far.

An impressive record, but Elham and Marwa have done even better,

finishing first each time.

So the splat stat hat predicts our two new rulers will be queens.

But I'm sure the boys won't want to come second again.

Here's a reminder of all of them in action.

Candidate kings Rane and Jared

versus wannabe warrior queens Marwa and Elham.

And this is what they're up against.

For starters, all six of the Defenders.

That number could increase - the Defenders have been promising

all day to introduce us to their twins.

Then there's the course itself to contend with!

The attackers start by taking a trip to the dire mire

where they find the barrier of all barriers,

and soon after that, the terrifying Ts.

They then make their way onto the scary-go-round,

and then to the annihilating arm.

And then the gruesome twosome!

The ever so clever clobbering cannons are next,

then it's a leap onto the royal ramps, followed by a climb up

the rock wall, where the much treasured Splatalot crown awaits.

Down on the course, Vane's on the splatzuka,

Kook's on cannon duty, Faetal's on the aqualiser, and here they are:

Thorne's twin Scorne, Skabb's twin Fabb, and Madeva's twin...

Hang on, that doesn't look right!

Here are the real twins.

In red we have Marwa and Elham,

competing with Rane and Jared in orange.

And they're off! Ooh, the mire is looking particularly dire today.

Remember, they're working as teams,

so I guess both pairs will stick close to each other.

Dude, you're a nice guy, but I'm wondering where Madeva's sister is.

She said she's going to be here all day. She's a babe and...

You smell like sweet potatoes.

OK, let's get back to action, shall we?

Marwa and Elham are first to tackle the Ts.

-And the first to fall off them.

-Back to the barrier.

The boys are struggling, but they finally make it over. Good teamwork.

Now I think Kook's just spotted Skabb's twin sister, Fabb.

Lady! New girl Defender, new girl Defender!

She looks very familiar!

So, Thorne and Skabb's twins are here,

but they're nowhere to be seen? Curious.

Ohhh, chin knocker!

The red twins have their own mystery to solve - how to cross the Ts.

Gentlemen, anyone tell you two, you look like one another?

Apparently, that's Madeva's uncle Charlie.

She's brought her uncle?

Which part of "Twin special" did she not understand?

Marwa and/or Elham is on the Ts again.

And this is much better!

Now can the red team make it a double?

Bit of a wobble, but looking good, and yes, both girls are over!

Next stop for them is the scary-go-round.

Early days yet, but they're opening up a lead.

Back to the boys. Sweet baby flip flops!

I'm sure this is Elham clinging to the annihilating arm. Look out!

Ahhhh! Shoots, he scores!

Uncle Charlie's made quite an impact.

The orange team's made it over the Ts.

Marwa's now caught up with her sister,

and tries the underarm approach.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Now, who does Scorn remind me of?

No time to think about that now, we've got a red twin in the moat!

Fabb rule number 305 - when dealing with twins, always have slime!

Fabb's rules make about as much sense as Skabb's.

-But she did promise slime.

-Fabb rules!

Half of team orange has made it to the arm.

-Kook's spotted the danger though.

-Nice shot, but no harm done.

So can Rane or Jared land back on the scary-go-round?

Barton in the beans!

Yes, if you've got no grip, you'll just slip and take a dip.

Time to let off a little steam!

There's something about Scorne that really bothers me.

Yabba dabba don't! He's certainly bothering the attackers.

That leap was way off target.

Now, can the reds make their landing?

Better effort, but no.

I'm going to be the scorn in your smile!

Well, he sounds like Thorne, but he's almost as scary as Skabb!

At the cannons now. Aft puddle!

Right, can the boys do any better? Double aft puddle!

Our other red twin thinks twice, but Scorne's right behind her!

She has no choice but to cross.

She survives the first cannon, but Scorne's still there.

Oh, but she pulls it out of the bag! What a brilliant move!

Now what's uncle Charlie up to?

-HE GIGGLES

-I'm on TV.

Hi, Madeva!

Oh, dear. Back to the course.

Hinge and Blew-it! Ooh, double Hinge and Blew-it!

Kook gets a little hiss-terical, but it doesn't put off

the orange team - one half has made it onto the royal ramps.

But remember, both need to cross the finish line to win that crown.

So here's our first leap onto the rock wall. Crackernang!

Yep, I think our logo perfectly sums up that effort.

The final's hotting up now.

-I am Scorne!

-And I am Fabb!

I'm still confused.

And I'm Kookaburra!

Nice to meet you.

Well, that wasn't at all awkward.

The Defenders need to refocus,

because three attackers are about to take on the rock wall.

Here's the first. No! Next, please.

Faetal makes the wall even slippier.

Second attempt - no.

Scorne adds some slime into the mix.

Third attempt. And it's good!

Incoming!

So the reds have given the Defenders

and the orange team something to really think about.

-Get down!

-Fabb continues with the slime, but to no effect.

The red team completes phase one,

but until the sisters are reunited, this final is still anybody's.

-Here's the orange team.

-Marwa!

Ah, right, so Elham must be at the top. Thought so.

OK, smartypants, who's on the wall now?

Simple - Rane and Jared are both on the wall.

Marwa needs to catch up. But she can't hold on!

Judging by Faetal's reaction,

I think she intends to take the credit for that splat.

-But that still leaves Rane and Jared.

-Marwa!

Scorne tries an old Skabb trick and hurls a slime ball, but he misses!

Poor Elham. She's done all she can,

but the first half of the orange team is now over the wall!

Here's Marwa. Can she keep this final alive?

No, she can't. And Elham knows it's all over.

Yes, the final is complete!

Thorne will be proud of Scorne,

but the proudest twins in the land are right there.

In the end, all those last-minute substitutions

backfired on the Defenders.

Bad luck, Marwa, she was so close. Elham, even closer!

You're both fired. Get out of here. You're terrible.

What a superb final.

Well done to our new kings, Rane and Jared.

You've got to feel sorry for Marwa,

and especially Elham who was the first attacker to finish.

By the way, I know it's not you.

-Pardon?

-The hanky. I know you're not Dom.

-Oh, really?

-HE WHISTLES

-BOTH:

-Double got ya!

Here's the splat of the day!

It comes from James in round one,

with a little help from his sister Aunna

and a lot of help from the splacken.

It's got everything - a splacken thwack, a sister trip,

and to round it off, a cartwheel into the moat. Great work, James!

Back to our twin kings, and their journey to the crown.

Jared and Rane were no strangers to splats in round one,

and were best friends with the foam in round two.

The final was far from easy,

but their solid teamwork gave them the edge.

Time now to hear from our brave new rulers.

Our first act as kings of Splatalot is to have one of you

thrown into the moat.

We wish we could do it to all of you, but today it will be you, Kook!

-Fantastic!

-That's gone down pretty well.

Even Kookaburra's OK with it.

It wouldn't have been fair to choose

one of the new twins, or uncle Charlie.

But they could have gone for Skabb, Thorne, or Madeva!

Well, another splatty day in Splatalot draws to an end.

But to finish the day in style...

-Here's the Splatapult ceremony. BOTH:

-Oi!

Take it away, Kook!

And just like his namesake, Kookaburra takes flight.

But what goes up must go splat!

That's all for now, but until next time...

-BOTH:

-Keep splatting!

There's a bear. There's a bear in the water!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd