Episode 2 The Dog Ate My Homework
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
ANGRY SHOUTS | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
BABBLES | 0:00:03 | 0:00:04 | |
Argh! | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
WHIZZING | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
GROWLING | 0:00:17 | 0:00:18 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
Yeah, hi, Mum. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:42 | |
Yeah. No, I'm filming a TV show. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
Yeah, I'm filming a TV show. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
Yeah, my pants? | 0:00:47 | 0:00:48 | |
Yeah, they're fresh on today. Yeah. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
Oh, I've got to call you back! | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
Hello! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Are we all well? | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
Good, nice one. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
Hello, I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
a panel show all about school. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
If there was one thing I could change about school, it would be this. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
Reading out loud in class. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
I know, it's horrible. You have to get up early for school, | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
you're still half asleep, | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
your mum's screaming at you like she's in an action film, | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
"Get in the car! Get in the car!" | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
"Mum, we're going to school, not war! Chill out!" | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
"Get in the car, right now!" | 0:01:24 | 0:01:28 | |
If you're even like five minutes late, she just ends up on the floor | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
like, "Get in the... Get in the car! | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
"Get in the car this instant!" | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
You finally get to class, the textbooks come out | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
and then your teacher says, | 0:01:39 | 0:01:40 | |
"Let's go round the class and read a paragraph each." | 0:01:40 | 0:01:44 | |
"How about no, mate? | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
"You're the teacher. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
"How about you learn what I need to know and then you can tell me? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
"I don't see you reading anything." | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
I've got a theory that teachers can't read. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
LAUGHTER But anyway, enough about that. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
Let's talk about these guys in a minute. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:00 | |
So, can I please have the school bell? | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
# The wheels on the bus go round and round | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
# Round and round round and round. # | 0:02:05 | 0:02:09 | |
Hi, Mum? Yeah, I'm going to call you back. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
OK. Sorry about that. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
Let's meet the teams. Come on! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
So, on my left we have a girl who goes to a school | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
that's really difficult to get into, | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
in that it has tiny little doors. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
-It's Mandy. -Hi. -APPLAUSE | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
And on Mandy's team we have someone who studied psychology at school | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
because she wanted to know what made people tick. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
People don't tick, you silly girl. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
It's Michelle Ackerley. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:40 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
Next, the guy who's known for his amazing dance moves. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
I once saw him do a 360 backflip then land on his head. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
It's called the Falling Over. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
Give it up for Inel from Johnny And Inel. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
APPLAUSE That's Mandy's team, everybody! | 0:02:52 | 0:02:58 | |
And on my right is a boy that never misses a day off school. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
I mean, he's had loads of days off, | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
but he doesn't miss it. It's Elijah. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
And on Elijah's team is a dog that taught me | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
all I know about TV presenting, | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
which is why we're both terrible. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
-It's Hacker T Dog! -Thank you. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
-APPLAUSE -Thank you. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
And on their team is a man that was very clever at school. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
He started writing stories on his first day. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
Sadly, it took five years to learn how to read them. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
It's Johnny from Johnny And Inel. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
Please give it up for both teams! | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
HACKER HOWLS | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
Now, sit up straight and pay attention. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Here's how this thing works. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
Games will be lost and won, brows will be furrowed | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
teeth will be gnashed, but only a winner | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
will get themselves a shiny gold star. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooooo! | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
I might even hand out a bonus star if I like what I'm hearing. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
AUDIENCE: Wooo! | 0:03:54 | 0:03:55 | |
But I'll also take them away if I don't. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
AUDIENCE: Aw... | 0:03:58 | 0:03:59 | |
Oh, madam! | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
So, you'll have to work very hard for every star | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
and remember it's Iain's school so it's... | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
ALL: Iain's rules! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
At the end of the show the starriest panel will get to | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
hand in their homework, but not the losers, no way. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
Their useless efforts will be fed to The Dog Ate My Homework dog | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
and they will suffer detention with a man so massive | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
he's got his own gravitational pull. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
It's Mr Smash, who today has invented an intelligence machine. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
ELECTRONIC PULSING | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
SILENCE | 0:04:32 | 0:04:33 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
ELECTRONIC PULSING | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
SILENCE | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
MACHINE WHIRRS DOWN | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
YELLING | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
SNUFFLY CHUCKLING | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
Anyway, let's get down to business! | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
CHEERING | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
It's time now for Stick To The Point. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
-VOICE-OVER MAN: -'Stick To The Point.' | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
Thank you, mysterious voice-over man. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
This is where we ask the most serious | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
and important questions of our time, like, "Hey, Iain. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
"When's your fragrance coming out?" Well, I can tell you it's out now. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:23 | |
I just found it. Here it is. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
It's called Guff. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:27 | 0:05:28 | |
Guff by Iain. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:31 | |
Hey, as anyone ever smelled my Guff? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Anyway, so I'm going to ask you some quickfire questions | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
and you need to answer them as fast as you can. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
If you're not quick or repeat someone else's answer then you have to | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
put yourself in the shush position, | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
and you're out of the game. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:45 | |
A shiny gold star for the team that is last standing. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
For this, I need my Stick Of Pointlessness. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
ZAP | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Ah, it normally appears by magic. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
Hacker. Give me that. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
Give me the... Give me the stick. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
Give me the stick! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:03 | |
-Oh, is that Sue Barker? -Sue! Sue! Sue! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Please take back that restraining order, Sue. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
OK, animals that make you scream. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
Johnny? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
-Tigers. -Yes. Inel? -Wolves. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
-Yes. Hacker? -Yonko. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
-Yes. Mandy? -Snakes. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
-Yes. Elijah? -Lions. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
Yes. Mandy? | 0:06:28 | 0:06:29 | |
Wolves... Oh, wait. No. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
We've had that. Get in the shush position. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-Hacker? -Penguins! | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
Penguins! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
What don't you like about penguins? | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
I don't trust them. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:42 | 0:06:43 | |
It's the way they walk. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
They look like they're constantly sneaking somewhere. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
Don't do it! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
It brings back the memories! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
Quack! Quack! Quack! | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
Quack! Quack! Quack! | 0:06:56 | 0:07:00 | |
-I prefer Yonko. -Michelle? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
-Hacker! -Yes! | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
-Oh, come on. -He makes me scream. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
-Elijah? -Iain Stirling. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
-Technically an animal. -Yeah. -Technically. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
-You're a human... Actually, is he a human? -Well done, lads. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
Johnny and Elijah are now in the shush position. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
Get in. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
- You are technically an animal! - Get in, get in. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
- He's an animal! - Get in! Get in! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
And a bonus gold star to Mandy's team. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
-Inel? -Crocodiles! | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
Hacker? | 0:07:30 | 0:07:31 | |
Wimbledon! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
They've got Wombles. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
-Michelle? -Bull frogs. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
-Oh, bull frogs. -They're freaky. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
-Hacker? -Sellotape... | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
-..on a hamster. -Get in a shush position. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
-The points go to Mandy's team in that round. -Yes! | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Next question, things you need for camping. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
-Hacker the dog? -A hat! | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
-Yes. Michelle? -High heels. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
High heels for camping? | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
-Glamping, it's a form of camping. -You are our most glamorous guest. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
-Thanks. -Well done. Elijah? -A tent. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
-Yes! Inel? -Wellington boots... | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
-Oh, yes. -..specifically. -Johnny? -Marshmallows. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
I'm not going otherwise, it's that simple. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
I would rather sleep without a tent, | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
but as long as... I could sleep under marshmallows | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
-and eat my way out. -You could make a sort of sugary igloo. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
-Exactly! -Michelle? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
A rolly up mat so it's nice and soft on the ground when you're sleeping. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
Oh, Michelle. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
-Hacker? -Portable DVD player! | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Which region? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Oh... Forget it. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
Mandy? | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Shush position, young lady. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
You've got your finger in readiness. Johnny? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
-Walkie-talkies. -Yes, please. Michelle? -Erm... | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
Shush position, young lady. Elijah? | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
-A map. -Yes! Inel? -Toilet paper. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
Johnny? | 0:09:04 | 0:09:05 | |
A spare oxygen supply, because in that very dark day | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
where you're in the tent, it's locked up and someone farts, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
it's all over... | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
You need... | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
You're in the tent and Iain sprays Guff, you need that oxygen supply. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:24 | 0:09:25 | |
-Inel? -Antibac for your hands. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
Hacker the dog? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
Get in the shush position! | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
-Sorry. Can I swap teams? -No! -Didn't want to, didn't want to. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
-Come over here. -Elijah? | 0:09:35 | 0:09:36 | |
If you've got a tent then you need, like, those sticks that you use to | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
put up the tent. Otherwise, it's just going to go... | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
They would be supplied with said tent! | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
Elijah, sticks do come with the tent. You've already said tent. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you in the shush position. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
-Inel? -A flask. -Let's go quickfire. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
-Johnny? -Fox repellent. -Inel? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
-Badger repellent. -Johnny? | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Eagle repellent. They make me scream. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
-Inel? -Snake repellent. -Johnny? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
-Lion repellent. -Inel? | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
Gorilla pro..repellent! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
-Johnny? -He said "propellant"... Tiger repellent. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
-Inel? -Zebra repellent! | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Johnny and Inel repellent! | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Johnny? | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
-I would go for penguin repellent, that's totally fine. -Inel? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
All right, I'll go for squirrel repellent. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
-Oh, yeah? -Johnny? -Rat repellent. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
-Inel? -Dinosaur repellent. -Johnny? | 0:10:26 | 0:10:30 | |
Shush position! | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
BUZZ! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
-Well done, Inel! -Woo-hoo! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
I'm going to give the gold star to Mandy's team. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
This next round is called Say Whaaaaaaat? | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
'Say Whaaaaaaat?' | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
This is where unusual looking | 0:10:53 | 0:10:54 | |
words will appear onscreen. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
It's a bit like walking through a Welsh train station. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
All you have to do is tell me | 0:10:58 | 0:10:59 | |
what the word means | 0:10:59 | 0:11:00 | |
and which language it's from. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
It's easy, or as the French would say, | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
"C'est easy-peasy nens pas." | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
Oh, good. You've both got buzzers. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
So, Elijah, can I hear your buzzer, please? | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
DING! Nice one. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
And, Mandy, can I hear your buzzer, please? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
HONK! Oh, that sounds like... | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
Guff. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:21 | |
OK, let's have the first word. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
What does this word mean? | 0:11:25 | 0:11:26 | |
What does this word mean? DING! | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
-I know! -Yes, Hacker. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
Is it what a badger says? | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
Do you know, when a badger...? A badger... A badger would say it. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:39 | |
-Can you hear me? -Yeah. -Is this on? A BADGER. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
-Would say poubelle? -Yeah. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Why? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:45 | |
Pfft, I don't know. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
Anyone got anything that makes sense? HONK! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
-Oh, yes, Mandy. -Is it a French word for some food? | 0:11:54 | 0:11:59 | |
Ah, it's a French word. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
Oh, it's a French word! | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
-I know, I know! -Yes? -French word for badger. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
No, it's not. Anyone else? DING! | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
French word for a penguin. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
No, not, the memories! No! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
HE SQUAWKS AT HACKER | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
No, it's not penguin. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:21 | |
It's a French word... | 0:12:21 | 0:12:22 | |
I'm going to give you a guess each | 0:12:22 | 0:12:23 | |
and then I'll give you the answer. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
Elijah's team, French word for what? | 0:12:25 | 0:12:27 | |
Chicken. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:28 | |
Well done, Hacker's just ruined your chances there. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
-Rubbish. -Sorry? | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
-French word for rubbish. -So close! | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
I'd love to give you it, but it's the French word meaning "dustbin". | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
Oh! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
That would have been my next guess! | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
-I know what you're thinking, though, Hacker. What? -How's it pronounced? | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
Let me tell you, it sounds a little something like this. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
DEEP VOICE: Poubelle. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
Next one. What does this word mean? Flapdoodle. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
DING! Elijah? | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
Is it a bird that's really, really good at drawing? | 0:13:00 | 0:13:05 | |
And it has a pencil or something | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
in its mouth and sort of goes, | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
-"Ark! Ark!" -It's unlikely. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
Hacker, you can do a good impression | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
of a flapdoodle, can't you? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
I can, yeah, but I'm not doing it in-vision. I'll just... Kah. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
I just did it. It was good, wasn't it? | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
That was awesome, Hacker. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
-Well done. -Badger! A badger. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
Is it a badger? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
It's not what I've got on the card, no. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
Card's wrong. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
HONK! | 0:13:27 | 0:13:28 | |
Mandy? | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Is it an American burger? | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
AMERICAN ACCENT: Do you want to get a flapdoodle? | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
Not the right answer. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
Is it where you give the wrong answer out, like a mistake? | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
Oh, you just did a flapdoodle. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Do you know what? | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
I'm going to give you the point for that. I'll give you a gold star. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
Thank you. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:45 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
It's an English colloquial word | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
meaning "foolish talk or nonsense". | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
-Yes. -What's that, Michelle? How do you pronounce it? Thanks for asking. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:57 | |
It sounds a little something like this... | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
DEEP VOICE: Flapdoodle. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
Next one is a Scottish word, | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
I can tell you. What would it mean? | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
-HONK! Mandy? -Wait, no. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Sorry, I thought it was that thing they wear, but that's a kilt. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
-Sorry. -Yeah, no, it's not called... | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
"What are you wearing to the wedding?" | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
"I'm going to wear my ferntickle." Never happens. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
DING! Hacker? | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
-Is it that sporran thing? -It's not, but I like how you've... | 0:14:21 | 0:14:25 | |
That's the first serious answer you've given today. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
But I'm going to give you the answer. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
Ferntickle is a Scottish word meaning "freckle". | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
-No way! -Really? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
I was never going to get that. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:36 | |
I'll be honest with you, Iain, I would never have got that. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:39 | |
I don't mind admitting it, I would never have got that. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
-What's that, you want to know how it's pronounced? -Love to. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
I'll tell you right now. It sounds a little something like this... | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
DEEP VOICE: Ferntickle. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
-Iain, can I have a go? -Yeah, OK, you have a go. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
-DEEP VOICE: -Ferntickle. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:54 | |
Michelle, do you fancy having a go at ferntickle? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
-DEEP VOICE: -Ferntickle. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
-Johnny, on you go. DEEP VOICE: -Ferntickle. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
Inel. On you go, Inel. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
-DEEP VOICE: -Ferntickle. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
-That was really bad. -It's like those kung fu movies. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
Do you know when you're watching it...? | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Do your kung fu movie version of Ferntickle. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
-DEEP VOICE: -Ferntickle. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:18 | |
I'm going to give you a gold star for that, Inel. Love that. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
BELL RINGS Oh, time's up! Time's up. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
And the winner at the end of that round and getting the gold star is... | 0:15:29 | 0:15:33 | |
-Elijah's team! -Huzzah! | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:35 | 0:15:38 | |
Next it is time for everyone | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
in the entire world's favourite part of the show. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
It is time for Who Do You Think I Am? | 0:15:47 | 0:15:51 | |
AUDIENCE GROANS | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
Let's do this thing. Come on. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
Elijah... | 0:16:00 | 0:16:01 | |
you're up first, mate. OK, here we go. First clue. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
I am an American woman. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
CHUCKLING | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Why are you laughing at that? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
I am a woman. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
What are you doing?! | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
I've got a box. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
# I am a woman who was born in Virginia in America | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
# Some time around the 1590s, eh | 0:16:26 | 0:16:30 | |
# Nobody's really sure which is annoying | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
# As it meant I didn't get many birthday presents. # | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
Who - yee-ha! - | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
am I? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:40 | |
The birthday boy. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:42 | |
I said "I'm an American woman"! | 0:16:44 | 0:16:45 | |
-HACKER: -I know! | 0:16:45 | 0:16:47 | |
-Are you a badger? -NO! | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
Next clue. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:51 | |
Get back into character... Hibbidy-hibbidy... OK. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
I managed to keep peace between the village of Native Americans | 0:16:57 | 0:17:02 | |
and British Colonials. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
The name by which I'm known best means "mischievous one". | 0:17:06 | 0:17:11 | |
Who am I? | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
-Hacker the dog. -Dolly Parton. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
Dolly Parton. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Born in 1590s?! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
I think it's quite clearly Michelle Obama. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
Shut your face, fool! | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
Mr T. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:30 | |
-Mr T. -That was good acting. Yeah, that's Mr T, definitely. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:37 | |
Mr T, the woman from the 1590s? | 0:17:37 | 0:17:41 | |
Correct answer. Well done, Elijah. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
-Yay! -Is that more acting? -Yeah, I'll bet you. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:47 | |
What are you playing, stupid dog? | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
AUDIENCE: Aww... Don't you dare pick his team. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
-Everybody say, "Aww." -Wait a minute, don't you dare pick him over me. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
-Not stupid. -Right, clue number three. Here we go. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
CBBC... | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
had money spent on these props, so I don't want anyone mocking it. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:07 | |
Get back into character. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
# Boo-boo-doo-boo... # | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
I was the daughter of a chief and I had a cartoon made about me | 0:18:13 | 0:18:17 | |
-in which I sing in my lovely voice. -I've got it. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
# Oh, I can sing that good. # | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
-Who am I? -Elijah knows it. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:25 | |
Is it Pocahontas? | 0:18:25 | 0:18:28 | |
I'm Pocahontas! | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
I'm the famous Native American Pocahontas, | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
daughter of the Chief of the Powhatan Empire. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
Mandy's team. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
Are you a fan of my acting prowess? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
No. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
-Tell it like it is, Mandy. -When you're... | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
I'm just going to put on my ferntickle, I'll be right back. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:51 | |
OK. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:52 | |
-Michelle, have you ever seen a kilt? -I have, actually. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
-Never worn like that before, though. -Watch this, though. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
Whoo. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Don't look at me! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
Supergran! | 0:19:02 | 0:19:03 | |
Is it Supergran? | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
OK, Mandy's team, first clue. Here we go. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
I am a Scottish man... | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
..who became king in the 11th century, | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
so if anyone murdered someone on my watch, | 0:19:20 | 0:19:24 | |
I'd kill them as well. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
There was loads of murdering back in my day. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
"There's been a murder," that's what I used to say. Who am I? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:32 | |
Is this just your outfit for the end of the show? | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
This is the afterparty, oh, ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho! | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
Who am I? I'll give you another clue. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
How you never got that is beyond me. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
Shakespeare - lovely guy - wrote a play about me | 0:19:44 | 0:19:47 | |
in which he made me out to be a murderous and terrible person. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
How dare he write that stuff about me? | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
If I ever see him, I'll tell you what I'll do to him - | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
I'll give him a cuddle, I'm actually a big softie. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Who am I? | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
Stop laughing at it! | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
-Who am I? -I don't know, you're meant to know. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
It's not a game of I go, "Hi, I'm John Whoever." | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
That's not a game! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:18 | |
Yeah, but you just asked who you are. How are we meant to know...? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:22 | |
That's the rules! THAT IS THE RULES! | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
You broke the book. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
Bread, is that...? | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Why are you clapping that? | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
Stop clapping it! APPLAUSE | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
Stop it! | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
Final clue. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
Many people believe in theatrical superstition | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
and if you say my name in a theatre, | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
you have to walk in a circle three times and spit to avoid bad luck. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:56 | |
-HACKER: -Billy Connolly! | 0:20:58 | 0:20:59 | |
No, I'm allergic to wheat. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:04 | |
-Stand up. -Not the wheat! | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
Doh! | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
AUDIENCE: Boo! | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
Jock-style... | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
Grr! | 0:21:20 | 0:21:22 | |
-I've got it! Braveheart. -Braveheart? No! | 0:21:22 | 0:21:25 | |
-Mel Gibson? -Mel Gibson?! | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
Even Mel Gibson's Scottish accent is worse than mine. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
Who am I? Who am I? | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
Macbeth? | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
I'm Macbeth! | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Macbeth. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:41 | |
I was Macbeth, a real King of Scots who came to the throne in 1040 - | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
or 20 to 11 - after killing Duncan I in battle. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
So at the end of that, because of my fabulous acting, | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
both teams get themselves a gold star. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Huzzah! Well done. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:56 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
Well done, Elijah. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:01 | |
-VOICE-OVER MAN: -'School disco!' | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
School disco! | 0:22:09 | 0:22:10 | |
# No place I'd rather be | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
# No no no no no | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
# No place I'd rather be | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
# No no no no no | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
# No place I'd rather be | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
# No no no no no | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
# No place I'd rather be | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
# No no no no... # | 0:22:26 | 0:22:27 | |
That was interesting, wasn't it? | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
It's time to bounce into action with Globe Hoppers. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
So here's how the game works. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
You answer questions by bouncing all round the world | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
and snatching the name of the country I'm talking about. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
Geography and fun - who thought those two would go together? | 0:22:40 | 0:22:44 | |
The pair to climb aboard - Johnny and Inel. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
It's going to be another crunch match, so let's bring on the world. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:51 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
Rah...rah... | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
Ah! Argh! | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
Bring on the bouncers! | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
Right, guys, what's going to happen is I'm going to shout out | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
some questions. The answers are countries. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
You have to find the country on your globe | 0:23:09 | 0:23:11 | |
and then bring that country to me. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
-Ready to do this? -Let's do it. -Three, two, one... Hop it! | 0:23:13 | 0:23:18 | |
Go hopping. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:19 | |
Skippy the bush kangaroo is from here. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
Australia, correct. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
I'm going to make this a bit more interesting. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
Oh, yeah. Oh... | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
-Uh-oh. -Double over. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
Where in the world can you find giant pandas? Not Scotland. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
China! | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
China! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
-Come on! -Three, two, one, hop it. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
-Get hopping! Hop, hop, hop! -Come on, Inel. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:51 | |
Where in Europe you would find Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
Donald the Duck and Goofy? | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
In Europe, where in Europe would you find them? | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
Paris! | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
Paris! | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
Oh... | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
France. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:05 | |
France! | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
Three, two, one, hop it. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
Get in, get in, quickly, run. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
If I was a famous Bollywood actor, I would come from here. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:21 | |
Get it! Get it! | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Tickle him! Tickle him! | 0:24:28 | 0:24:29 | |
-Oh, you've got it! -He snatched it out my hand. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
-India! -Yeah! | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
Three, two, one, hop it. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:44 | |
Come on, Inel. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:45 | |
This is the greatest country in the world, in my opinion, | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
and where Shetland ponies come from. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:50 | |
Wigan! | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
Wigan. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:53 | |
Is it Wigan? | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
Scotland! | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
Oh... | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
Think there was some cheating going on. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
Guys, that was the most aggressive version of that game I've ever seen. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:12 | |
-Well... -There was snatching... -There was snatching out of hands on that. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
Snatching out of hands. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
Hey, you've got to play to win. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
You've got to play to win, and you did play to win, Inel. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
You win, so the gold star goes to Mandy's team. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
I hope everyone is super nervous cos we are at the end of the show. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:37 | |
We sort the conquerors from the conkers. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:41 | |
Let's see what delights await in Mr Smash's Chamber of Fun. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:46 | |
Rargh! | 0:25:46 | 0:25:47 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
-Would you like some Guff? -Rrr... | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
Ha-ha. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:55 | |
So, let's see which team are swotty and which team are... | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
ALL: Naughty! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh... | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
The winners are... | 0:26:09 | 0:26:10 | |
Mandy's team! | 0:26:10 | 0:26:11 | |
Yay! | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
Elijah, what have we done? | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
Well done Mandy's team. And what about the losers, Elijah's team? | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
There's no lights where you're going. Mr Smash? | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
-Take them on the Walk of Shame. -Rragh! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:30 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
-# La la la la... -Losers! | 0:26:34 | 0:26:37 | |
# Losers! # | 0:26:37 | 0:26:38 | |
So well done to our winners, Mandy, Michelle and Inel! | 0:26:38 | 0:26:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
You guys get to hand in your homework. Bring it over. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
# La la la la la la la | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
# You are the winners | 0:26:50 | 0:26:51 | |
# La la la la la la la | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
# You are the winners. # | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
OK, let's have Elijah, Johnny | 0:26:56 | 0:26:59 | |
and Hacker T Dog back from detention with Mr Smash. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
-# La la la la -Losers! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
# La la la la... | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
# Losers. # | 0:27:13 | 0:27:14 | |
There, you're doing Scottish country dancing. Hacker, please join in. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
BAGPIPE MUSIC | 0:27:18 | 0:27:21 | |
It's not a great look, guys. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
And now to get your homework, please bring in The Dog Ate My Homework dog. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
Well, we didn't learn much, but it sure was fun trying. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:41 | |
See you all next time on... | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
The Dog Ate My Homework. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
See ya. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 |
