Episode 5 The Dog Ate My Homework
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
APPLAUSE | 0:00:32 | 0:00:33 | |
Hello? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
Yeah, yeah. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:43 | |
No, it's not started yet. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
I don't know if I'm going to bother, actually. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
Oh! | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
Hello! | 0:00:51 | 0:00:52 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Hello, everyone. Hello, thank you for coming. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
My name's Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework, | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
a panel show all about school. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
My favourite thing about school was school holidays. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
Most kids came back from school after holidays with a tan. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
I came back pruney, you know what I mean? | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
"How was your holiday, Iain?" | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
"Moist." Not ideal. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
The holidays were always a bit rubbish for me because my | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
parents decided it would be a good idea to go caravanning. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
Worst holidays ever. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
My mum used to always say to me, "Oh, you'll love the caravan, Iain. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
"It's just like a house." | 0:01:24 | 0:01:25 | |
And I guess she's right, it is like a house... | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
A small, rubbish, plastic house. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:31 | |
The problem is you have to drag your caravan on the back | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
of your car, so it takes ages to get anywhere. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
We'd be in the car for hours. I'm getting dead excited. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
"Are we going to Narnia? To Hogwarts? Where are we going? | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
"It's going to be absolutely amazing!" | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
My dad then gets out of the car, walks up a hill and goes, | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
"Welcome to Motherwell!" Noooo! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
Right, let's meet the teams, come on! | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
Over here is a boy so clever he marks his maths teacher's work. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
It's Pavan, everybody! | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
CHEERING | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
And on Pavan's team is someone who got the best grades at the school | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
disco, so he's either a great dancer or rubbish at maths, | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
or maybe it's both. It's dance sensation and Friday Downloader, | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Aidan Davis! | 0:02:16 | 0:02:17 | |
-CHEERING -Here...I suppose. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
And as a pupil, she was told to take life more seriously, | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
so what else could she do than become a comedian? | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
-It's Susan Calman. -Here. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Give it up for Pavan's team, everybody! | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
And over here, we've got | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
a girl who once took the school pet home in a cage. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
Unfortunately, it was a goldfish. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
-Give it up for Evie! -Hey, Miss. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:41 | |
CHEERING | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
And on Evie's team, a woman who acts, | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
sings and designs fashion, but can she do this? | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
-I don't think so. It's Dominique Moore. -Here! | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
And with them, he's a comedian who's always got a laugh at school, | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
especially when he'd done PE in his pants. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Give it up for Alex Riley! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
CHEERING | 0:03:02 | 0:03:03 | |
Give it up for both of today's teams! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
CHEERING CONTINUES | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
OK, we're getting all starry-eyed around here and no wonder. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
Look what you get when you win a game or make me laugh. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:18 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh! | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
A gold star. "Ooh" indeed, audience. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
A sparkling bit of gold that you can show off to all your pals, | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
but don't get too big-headed cos I can also take them away. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:30 | |
It's Iain's school, so it's... | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
ALL: Iain's rules! | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
Yeah, you heard that. They're my rules. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
At the end of the show, the team with the biggest | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
stash of stars gets to hand in their homework but what about the losers? | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
Well, their homework goes to my canine pal over there. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
Hey, Buddy. Hey, fetch! | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
Fine then, be like that. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:55 | |
And those losers will also end up in detention | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
with our ferocious PE teacher Mr Smash. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
CHEERING | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
HE PANTS AND BARKS | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
GLASS SMASHES | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
Well, that was weird. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
OK, strap yourself in, it's time to begin. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Let's get the show on the road! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:21 | |
OK, let's see who's got the brains as well as the bendy bits. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
It's time for Body Language. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
I'm going to ask you guys questions that all have three-letter answers. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:37 | |
Easy, but - and it's a pretty big but - | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
you have to spell those answers using your bodies. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
Now, I think it's best we have a little stretch before this round. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
You've just got to stretch... | 0:04:48 | 0:04:49 | |
Make sure you've... | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
You don't want to do yourself an injury. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
CREAKING SOUNDS | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
Oh, yeah, that's good. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
That's lovely. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
Yep, and then... | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
Oh, the Bikram's paid off. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
Right, I think that's got it. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
Pavan's team, it's time to see if you're going to bend or break, | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
so let's bring on the letterbox. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
Make your way down. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
How old are you, Pavan? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:35 | |
11. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
11?! You're the size of my dad! | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
Right, you've got until the bell rings to get as many correct | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
answers as possible, and your first question starts | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
when I say it out loud and I'm going to say it...now. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
-An upside-down nine. -(Six.) | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
Nine upside-down. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Do an S, mate. You're a professional dancer, Aidan! | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
-Look at this! -Right, I'll give you that one. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
You have wellies on when this is around. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
You put wellies on when this is around. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:03 | |
-Mud? -Yes. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Well, Pavan's passed out, so that's good. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
Oh, it's a good U! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
I'll give you that one and a gold star for having a lie down as well. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
OK. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
A more polite way to tell someone to shut up. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Oh...shh. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
Don't be rude, they're trying to help you out. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
Let's see Pavan and Susan's H. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
Susan, I said H, not your best Michael Jackson impression! | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
Do an H! | 0:06:42 | 0:06:43 | |
-Bend that, bend that! -Straighten that one. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
-There you go. -Bend! Straight! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
What are you doing?! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
I'll give you that one. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:51 | |
A type of fish found swimming around in the Atlantic, the Pacific | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
and the deep fat fryer. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:56 | |
-Cod. -Yes! | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
A D, Susan! | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
What are you doing?! We've not got all day! | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
It looks like someone's turned Susan off. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
I can't give you that, sorry. I can't give you that one. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
-SCHOOL BELL RINGS -Oh, time's up! Time's up! | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
Evie's team, please make your way down to the letterbox. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
Evie, are you feeling confident after the last team's performance? | 0:07:25 | 0:07:29 | |
Yes. Come on! | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
-Bring it on! -Yes! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
-We've got team wristbands? -Oh, yeah. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
And we've got a team motto, is that true? | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Of course we have. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
EVIE AND DOMINIQUE: "If you believe it, you can achieve it." | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
..you can achieve it. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:43 | |
So enthusiastic! LAUGHTER | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
All right, your time starts now. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
Something that peeks out | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
when there's a hole at the end of your sock. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
-Toe! -Yes. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
Alex has used the whole board. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
-You need another arm, you need another arm! -Well, I've only got two! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:59 | |
When am I going to get another one from?! | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
What's that you've done? | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
Well, she said and she's my team captain. I'm trying to... | 0:08:03 | 0:08:07 | |
You need three bits! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:08 | |
-DOMINIQUE WHIMPERS -She's so scary! | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
Do an E! | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
Do an E! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
-Yes! -Nice! | 0:08:13 | 0:08:14 | |
Dominique, a little bonus gold star for that one. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:20 | |
A way of picking up apples out of water during Halloween. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
Bob. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Can you spell Bob, Dominique? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
Do a lower case one! | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
No, a capital, capital! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
I like the difference in grace between Dominique's B and Alex's B. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:34 | |
-Do a leg like that. -It's a capital, initial, cap. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
You're doing a P! | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
It looks like you're holding a massive baby! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
-Look at my leg! -They've got to be the same size! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
I tell you what, that team motto's out the window, isn't it? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
We're different sizes! We can't all be the same size. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
-Sort it out. -Stop arguing and start doing letters! | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
That's the best B you'll see all day! | 0:08:52 | 0:08:53 | |
I'll give you that one. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
An old woman or witch who is considered ugly or frightful. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
-Hag! -Yes, hag. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
Guh... | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
Haaa-guh. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
-Well done! -Dominique. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
-It took that long to work out how you spell it. -I'll give you that one. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
# Yae cannae shove yer granny off this type of moving vehicle. # | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
-Van? -Bus. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
Van, ha-ha-ha! | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:20 | 0:09:21 | |
Bus! Bus! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
-Oh, no, am I an S? -Yes. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
Oh! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
-APPLAUSE -I will give you that. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
-SCHOOL BELL RINGS -Time's up! | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
Let's make our way back to the desks. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
Give it up for Evie's team, everybody! | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
CHEERING | 0:09:41 | 0:09:42 | |
And at the end of that round, the gold star goes to... | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
Evie's team! | 0:09:52 | 0:09:53 | |
Whoo! | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
It's time now for Stick To The Point. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
Stick to the point. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
We get the idea. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:07 | |
This is my favourite bit of the show cos | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
I get to go all pointy with a stick. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
I'm going to ask you some quickfire questions | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
and you need to answer them as fast as you can. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
If you're not speedy or repeat someone else's answer, | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
you're out of the game and you have to adopt the shush position. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
Shush. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
Well done, everyone. A shiny gold star to the last team standing. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:27 | |
For this, I need my stick of pointiness. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
And look, they're multiplying. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
I've only gone and got myself two! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
It's going to be a pretty quick round. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
OK, our first question is types of pets. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
Pavan! | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
-Dog. -Yes. Evie. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:42 | |
-Cat. -Aidan. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:43 | |
-Horse. -Heh, OK. Dominique. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
Cows! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
If you had a farm, you would keep cows as pets. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
You have to sound less nervous next time your answer. Susan. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
-Gerbil. -Yes. Dominique? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Erm...H-h-hens. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:58 | 0:10:59 | |
-All right, Old MacDonald. -Adopt the shush position. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:03 | |
Pavan. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:04 | |
-Lizard. -Evie. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:05 | |
-Hamster. -Susan. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
-Russian dwarf hamster, different breed. -Alex. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
Fancy rat. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Better than a normal rat! Aidan. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
-Mouse. -Evie. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
Hobbit. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
-You keep hobbits as pets? -Yeah! -Pavan. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
-Gecko. -Evie. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
-Goldfish. -Pavan. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
-Dog. -We've already had dog. Adopt the shush position. Alex. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
Billy goat. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:30 | |
-LAUGHTER -Susan. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
-Spider. -Evie. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
Tarantula, different breed. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:36 | |
Oh! A gold star, Evie. Well done. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:42 | |
Aidan. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:45 | |
Shark. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
You can! Say you have a cow if you own a farm. If you own... | 0:11:48 | 0:11:53 | |
SeaWorld. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
-Shark. -That's not a farm. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
Swings and roundabouts. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
No, no, no, aquarium. Evie. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
If he can have a shark, can I have a seahorse? | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
You can have whatever you like, love. You've got hobbits. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
Susan. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:09 | |
-If she can have a seahorse, can I have a whelk? -Yes. Alex. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:13 | |
-Starfish. -Yes. Aidan. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
Erm... | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
Adopt the shush position! Evie. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
Brother. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
They're filthier than rats, I'll give you that. Susan. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
-A crab in a top hat cos it's a fancy crab. -Alex. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
A gerbil. We've had that. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:29 | |
We've had that. Adopt the shush position. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
It is Evie versus Susan. Susan. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
Cabbage on a string - it happened in Japan. It's real. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
-Look it up on the internet. -Evie! | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
Cucumber on a string! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
Ha-ha! That didn't happen! It's not on the internet! | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
-Susan! -Pot-bellied pig! -Pot-bellied pig! Evie! | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
Ca...erm... | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
Oh! Points go to Pavan's team in that round. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
CHEERING | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
She's a fine player at this game, is young Evie, | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
-I'll give her that. -I'm really not happy about this at all. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
Words to describe Iain. Open brackets, be nice, close brackets. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:05 | |
-Dominique. -Smelly! -LAUGHTER | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
-Be nice! -Yeah, but he can smell nice, obvs! -Susan! | 0:13:08 | 0:13:14 | |
Handsome. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:15 | |
-Gold star to Susan! -Oooh! | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
-Evie. -Awesome. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
-Aidan. -Got hair. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
-Alex. -Willowy. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
It's been said of me in the past. Pavan. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
Popular. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Look at that! Not only "popular" but the victory sip. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
"Popular." | 0:13:33 | 0:13:34 | |
-Dominique! -Flexible! | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
Flexible?! | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
-What you did with your legs and... -Just stop talking. OK. Susan. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
Erudite. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
I don't know what that means | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
but for editing purposes... | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
yes, I am! | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
Alex. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:51 | |
Bespectacled. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
-Thank you! Pavan. -Beautiful. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:56 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:56 | 0:13:57 | |
That wasn't a victory sip, | 0:13:58 | 0:13:59 | |
that was a "I can't believe I just said that." | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
-He went, "Beautiful... Oh." -LAUGHTER | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
-Dominique! -Hairy! | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
-Aidan? -Loud. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
-Dominique. -Fashion-y. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
-Aidan. -FashionABLE. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:11 | |
Oh! | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
I'm going to put you in the shush position - it's too similar. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
-Evie. -Superhuman. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
-Susan. -Muscular, in a wiry, greyhound style. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
Get yourself in the shush position. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
-Alex. -Wise. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
Yes, I am. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:29 | |
-Pavan. -Great. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:32 | |
-Alex. -The beard of a 16-year-old boy. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
Get shushed, young man. Get shushed. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
-Pavan. -Special. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
-Get in the shush position. -Oh! | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
-The points go to Evie's team in that round. -Yeah! | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
-OK... -School Disco! | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
School Disco! | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
# I live for the applause Applause, applause | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
# I live for the applause-plause Live for the applause-plause | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
# Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
# The applause Applause, applause... # | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
RECORD SCRATCHES | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
School Disco Solo! | 0:15:12 | 0:15:16 | |
Aidan, school disco! | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:15:28 | 0:15:32 | |
# A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E Make it real loud | 0:15:32 | 0:15:35 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:15:35 | 0:15:38 | |
# Make it real loud | 0:15:38 | 0:15:42 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch. # | 0:15:42 | 0:15:47 | |
Yes! | 0:15:47 | 0:15:48 | |
I'm going to give Pavan's team a little gold star - well done. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
Wait, wait! We didn't have the opportunity | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
to do an extra dance, that's not fair. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
We should do one now. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:01 | |
-Let's do a Dominique school disco. -No, not just me! | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
-Yes! -Oh, what?! | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
You should learn to shut your face. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
# Put your hand up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
# Make it real loud | 0:16:25 | 0:16:29 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
# Make it real loud | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch. # | 0:16:35 | 0:16:41 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
And after that amazing performance, a gold star... | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
to me. OK. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:49 | |
At the end of that round, I can tell you the winners - | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
and getting the gold star - | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
are Pavan's team! | 0:16:55 | 0:16:56 | |
-Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw! -Oh, no, it's the school nurse. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:07 | |
Hello, Iain. You're looking a wee bit on the peaky side. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
Time for your annual health check. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
-What sort of health check is this? -It's... | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
-A CAT scan! -Oh...! | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
Meeoow! | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Meow! Meow! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
Meeee-ow! | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
Meow? | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
Am I OK? | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
CAT MEOWS Yes, you're purr-fectly healthy. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
School nurse, everybody. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
Time now for a little history. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Pavan, your team is up first, so make your way to the Memo-Ray. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:42 | |
The Memo-Ray. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
You are not answering the question I'm asking you. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
You're answering the question I asked the person before you. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
So you don't answer the first question, OK, guys? | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
Your time starts...now. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Smashy, levers, please. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Is a female grandparent called a grandma or a panda? | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
-Correct, Aidan. -TING! | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
Complete the phrase - Teenage Mutant Ninja...? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
Grandma. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:12 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
In the Wild West, people rode to work on what? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:19 | |
Turtles. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:20 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
What does WWW stand for? | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
Horses. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:27 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:27 | 0:18:28 | |
What do you find with a leprechaun at the end of the rainbow? | 0:18:28 | 0:18:33 | |
World wide web. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:36 | |
What do milkmen deliver? | 0:18:36 | 0:18:40 | |
Pot of gold. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:41 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:41 | 0:18:42 | |
Name a 34-letter word sung by Mary Poppins. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:47 | |
Apparently, milk. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:49 | 0:18:50 | |
What did pirates say instead of the word "yes"? | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
What letter comes after S in the alphabet? | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
Arrr! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:06 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:19:06 | 0:19:07 | |
What are cats, dogs and rabbits all type of? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
T. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:12 | |
-Yes, correct. -TING! | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
Name a book about a talking toad and his friends. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:19 | |
Animal. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:21 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:19:21 | 0:19:22 | |
What is it called when you trump in a forest? | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
Wind In The Willows. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:28 | |
-Correct! -TING! | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
Time's up, guys. Please make your way back to your desk. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
And Evie's team, make your way over to the Memo-Ray. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
The Memo-Ray. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
OK, guys, time to test your memory skills. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:47 | |
Smashy, lights, please. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
What are the bangers in bangers and mash? | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
Complete the title of the song - Head, Shoulders, Knees and...? | 0:19:58 | 0:20:03 | |
Sausages. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:04 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
What food is made out of fish and shaped like fingers? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
Toes. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:11 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
What is the name of a mythical creature | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 | |
that is half-fish, half-person? | 0:20:16 | 0:20:17 | |
Fish fingers? | 0:20:19 | 0:20:20 | |
-Yes, correct. -TING! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:21 | |
Who teaches you football, netball and athletics at school? | 0:20:21 | 0:20:25 | |
Mermaids. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:28 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
What do you use to chew your food? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
PE teacher. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:34 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
Complete the name of this famous lovable bear - Winnie the...? | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
Teeth. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:41 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:43 | |
What ingredient is used to sweeten tea and cakes? | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
What was the question again, the one before...? | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
Unfortunately, it's Pooh. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:53 | |
-WRONG ANSWER BUZZER -Pooh. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:54 | |
What types of animal are Tyrannosaurus Rex? | 0:20:54 | 0:20:59 | |
Sugar. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:00 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
What pet animals do you take for a walk on a lead? | 0:21:02 | 0:21:06 | |
Dinosaurs. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:21:07 | 0:21:08 | |
What is the sun of - solid, liquid or gas? | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
Dogs. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:15 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:21:15 | 0:21:16 | |
When someone asks you for salt at the dinner table, | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
what do you pass? | 0:21:19 | 0:21:20 | |
Gas? | 0:21:21 | 0:21:22 | |
-Correct. -TING! | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
-BELL RINGS -Time's up. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:26 | |
Take a seat, guys, take a seat. Well done, well done. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:33 | |
End of that round, the winners are... | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
..Pavan's team! | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
You get a gold star, well done! | 0:21:38 | 0:21:39 | |
Welcome to the Frocky Horror Show. Yes, it's time for Lost Property. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:50 | |
Lost Property! | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
OK, Pavan and Evie, | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
you'll choose one of your team to be a clothes horse. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
The rest of the team will pile on as much stuff | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
on that donkey's back as you can. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:02 | |
The person carrying the most clothes at the end wins the gold star. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:06 | |
So, Evie, which of your fashion victims deserve a makeover? | 0:22:06 | 0:22:10 | |
I'm going to choose...Alex. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:13 | |
And Pavan? | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
Who would look the funniest... | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
..with all clothes all over them? | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
It's probably going to be...Susan. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
No! Really(?) | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
OK, teams, please head down to the front, let's go. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:29 | |
Go, go, go! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:32 | |
Before we start, Alex and Susan, can you just come down | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
in front of the property box and stand next to one another? | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
Just want to show - right beside one another... | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
Susan? | 0:22:44 | 0:22:45 | |
-Whoa! -Dominique and Evie, you've got a lot more to work with. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
That's all I'm saying. Right, guys, you know the drill - | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
you need to get as many clothes on your clothes horses | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
as humanly possible. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:54 | |
Three, two one... | 0:22:54 | 0:22:56 | |
Get dressed, go! | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
Come on, get your clothes, get it on the person. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:03 | |
-Get them right on. -Come on, come on! | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
Get back, Aidan, get back! | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
The clothes need to be on the person properly. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
Right on. Same goes to you, Dominique. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
I want them properly on. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
Properly on, not just draped. I want them on the person. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:23 | |
Move! Quickly! | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
-Aidan, get back! -Quick, quick! | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
I want it round an arm, minimum! | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
Come on! Quicker! | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
It has to be on the person or it doesn't count. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
It has to be on them or it doesn't count. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
Scarf, scarf, scarf! | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Get them on. I want that person dressed. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:50 | |
Careful, it has to be on the person. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
-BELL RINGS -Time's up! Stop, stop, stop, stop! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
Evie, your clothes horse must be stood up. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:06 | |
-MUFFLED: -Iain! | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
Fashion assistants, please head back to the desks. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
OK, now... | 0:24:10 | 0:24:11 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
Susan, can you hear me? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
Alex, are you OK? | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
I can't breathe! I can't breathe! | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
Susan, are you OK? Susan! | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
Are you OK? | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
You're not... | 0:24:32 | 0:24:33 | |
-It's fine! -Right, right, right, right. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
What's going to happen is you're going to take off | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
an item of clothing, one count at a time. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:43 | |
The last person with items of clothing still on their bodies | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
wins the gold star. OK? | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
One! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:52 | 0:24:53 | |
Two! | 0:24:54 | 0:24:55 | |
-Three! -AUDIENCE COUNTS WITH HIM: Three! | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
-Four! -Four! | 0:25:01 | 0:25:02 | |
It's Susan Calman, everybody! | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
Five! | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
-Six! -Six! | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
-Seven! -Seven! | 0:25:13 | 0:25:16 | |
-Eight! -Eight! | 0:25:16 | 0:25:17 | |
-Nine! -Nine! | 0:25:19 | 0:25:20 | |
-Ten! -Ten! | 0:25:22 | 0:25:23 | |
Oh! | 0:25:23 | 0:25:24 | |
-11! -11! | 0:25:24 | 0:25:26 | |
That's it, we're done. We're done. The points go to Evie's team! | 0:25:26 | 0:25:31 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:31 | 0:25:33 | |
Come back. Come back. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
OK, it's time to find out who's the bee's knees | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
and who's the ant's armpits. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:44 | |
The losers get to spend detention in Mr Smash's Happy Campers Club. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:48 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
OK, let's find out which team is swotty and which team is... | 0:25:51 | 0:25:55 | |
AUDIENCE: Naughty! | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
Ooh! | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
TINKLING | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
The winners are... | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
Evie's team! | 0:26:05 | 0:26:06 | |
CHEERING | 0:26:06 | 0:26:09 | |
High-five! High-five! | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
That leave's Pavan's team doing detention with no exemption. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:18 | |
Now, you lot have to take the walk of shame. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:22 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -AUDIENCE: Losers! | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers. # | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
ALL: Losers! | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
Well done, everyone. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:35 | |
And well done to the winners - Evie, Alex and Dominique! | 0:26:35 | 0:26:40 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
You are triumphant and, Evie, that means you can hand in your homework. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:46 | |
Let's do it. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:47 | |
# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners. # | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
OK, let's have Pavan, Aidan and Susan back | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
for detention with Mr Smash. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:01 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -AUDIENCE: -Losers! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la -Losers! # | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
ALL: Losers! | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
MUSIC: The Birdie Song | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
You're doing the funky chicken. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
OK, it's time to hand your homework over to the dog! | 0:27:18 | 0:27:22 | |
CHEERING | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
Well, we didn't learn much but it sure was fun trying. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
-See you all next time on... -Audience: The Dog Ate My Homework! | 0:27:38 | 0:27:43 | |
See ya! | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 |
